Stoner Quotes

[lumpmaroon]

One time me and my two buddies were completely blazed and we decided to look people up in the school directory (ours has pictures of the people) and we found this kid named Ajiboye Olayemi and we started screaming his name: AJIBOYE!!!!!!!!!! haha AJIBOYE OLAYEMI!!!!!!!!!!! and now whenever we blaze we scare each other by hiding in the corner and screaming AJIBOYE!!!!!!!!!!! as loud as we can.

[coltonwinieckie]

it was pretty fucked up in a hotel in denver we got my brother in law all high from this bong you know and soon he just started poking my chest..then 5 minutes later he was like..dude im all sorts of colors of high..we all laughed our asses off

COLORS OF HIGH

[bobtoke]

lol after like 5 jays and a coupel of bong rips my friend said


"dude when theres a squirrel in the window he doesnt want to talk to u he just wants u to pet him" it was so random i laughed for about a hr

[Butter]

first day after winter vacation i went in to school drunk and high and this dude next to me was high and i read this sign that said "aim high" and for some reason it came to me as "aye, im high"... and the dude looked at it and said "aye, im high" man wtf does she have that in her room for.... then the person in front of me said aim high and i said oh shit...

sitting outside smoking and turning around to look at my friend have this fucking crazy ass face on him and say in a funny ass voice, I WANT SOME MILK AAAAAAAAND COOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES!!!!

[hahamoha]

Everytime we get high my friend always says, "Let's go Bowling". Funny every time haha.

[Rasta_Man]

I have to be honest with you guys, i spent like 15 minutes sitting on the reply to thread screen, trying to think of any.

Marijuana effects memory? Pfffft!

[noctorum]

"dude...i'm gonna nickname my penis one eyed willy...the jimmyhat can be his eyepatch.." - me

we were jumping on this random guys trampoline, and he came out and yelled at us, so we ran away, there was this steep hill and everyone was like walking down sideways all slow, so I jumped onto the hill and yelled "COMBAT ROLL" really loud and rolled down the hill and the street

[jasonjasonjason]

"you know when people snort shit, where does it go?....like, could i bust open someones face and find a stash of coke?"-my friend bryce

one time I went on like a 15 minute talk discussing if cats and dogs know whats going on with eachother. Like if my cat sees my dog taking a shit, is it like oh why the fuck is that dog shitting in the flowers, or is it just like, hey theres that dog, its shitting....and are dogs like hey theres that cat, why is he shitting in that little plastic box? or are they like oh hey theres that cat, its shitting

[daiseyduked]

lol i just did this today,

i was haveing coffee, all rippered up and my neighbour tells me that lance armstrong did it again or something like that. i said, ooo he went to the moon again! lmao! duh! my stoner moment of the day!

[MR!JUANA]

"Weed Is Simply a Mild Version of Ecstasy" ~-My Cousin"

[I BLaZeD I]

DJ: You smell that shit?
Me: Yeah, it smells like some fuckin tropical frag.

DJ: You know how some hunters take showers at gas stations for like ten dollars?
Me: Who would take a shower in that gas otter water?

DJ: This is the coldest ass basement in the history of basements.
Me: Golden space muscles?

Me: Will you go get that milk jug down there? My have my shoes on. You do.
DJ: What the fuck.

Me: Did you hear what them kids did?
DJ: They didn't do that shit.
Me: They've had did.

Me: Did you get another Pepsi?
DJ: No.
Me: Is that one yours?
DJ: No.
Me: Then where is yours?
DJ: Right there.
Me: Then whos is that?
DJ: Yours.
Me: Oh.

[smokyey3z]

haha that golden space muscle's is funny =] nice blazed

[viperware]

One of my personal faves:

"Didn't I have, like, an idea?"

I think the funniest part is that the idea turned out to be to go back to my house and play Mike Tyson's Punch-Out.

[crusher101]

ah... i miss the days of playing tyson's punch out on my nes... sad that it was given to a family member

[dan face]

once i got blazed went into wendsy drive through and was like can i get 14 orders of medium fries (99 cents, best deal)

uhhhh is this a joke?

no im really hungry

alrigth but im not ringing it up till u get up here with the money

alright but how much is it?

i dont know

you never had this kinda order before?

they all drive off

why?

please pull to the first window sir

okay okay jeeez you act as if this a line

i pull up to the window guy looks at me i hand him money

sorry sir im really high and i like fries

he stares

pull to the next window

jeez im just talking

sir theres about 5 cars behind you

o really?

yes



i pull to next window


heres your fries

how many are in their?

14

jesus why did i order so much?

im assuming u wernt just smoking ciggarettes

haha bye



sorry for the pure stupidity of this post im blazed