Stoner Quotes

[krowned]

the stuff me n my friend ryan say and do doesnt even have a way of explaining lol
like one time awhile i was baked as hell and said somethin loud and in a really high pitched voic. i think i said somethin like "im so high right now" and ever since then wen were high or are talkin about somethin that has to do wit gettin baked. and a few days ago i was super high and i guess i made a really weird face and kinda leaned my head back and rolled my eyes in the back of my head and didnt realize i did it, so now my friend always looks at me n does that n i bust up so hard laughin

[krowned]

oohh man how could i forget.
one time i was baked as hell
wit my "sister" drivin back from my ex gf's house and im in the right lane to get onto the freeway right. sittin at a red light. and i remembered all of a sudden "oh yeah didnt i say i wanted kfc" and i look behind me to my right and i have enough time to get over before the car comin gets in the way so i get over and haul ass right. my "sister" looks at me and just says " oh my god" in like a calm worried voice lol. and i look at her n was like "umm what" and she repeated herself a few times then looks at me n says "you ran a red light" and i was like "ohhh fuck i forgot i was drivin i totally thought i was playin grand theft auto! no cops saw me right" (and i honestly did think i was playin grand theft auto lol) and shes all "no there was no cops" and now were laughin about it and i was all "ok good cuz i dont wanna get any stars, dont have enough money for the pay n spray" haha
it was great
sometimes i still think im playin gand theft auto or gran turismo when im baked lol

[JC12]

I remember a couple years back I started ranting about a theory when I was blazed. It was about the excellent film "Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory".

Me: You think in Willy Wonka, all the guests only saw what they saw because they were smashed?
Friend: How? Sneak in some chronic bud or something?
Me: No, would have to be some crazy stuff to imagine giant chocolate waterfalls and Orange men.
Friend: Drunk?
Me: Wait! The paper walls they licked before they went into the factory must've been laced with Acid! (LSD)
Friend: *Bursts into laughter* Fuck man, kids movies need to have a new message other than "get fucked, enjoy your youth"

Then we just talked about that and progressed into it for about another hour. But you get the idea.

[Mr. Music]

one day after blazing with a friend, he looks at me with the straightest face and said "Dude, do you believe in sharks?" haha i still laugh to this day on how stupid that question was

[chagosaurausrex]

standing on my back stoop stoned, chain smoking cigs and talking philosophy with my friends:
"Shit... we should be getting college credit for this. Make it a class, call it 'sittin around with stoners 101.'"

[LegitBaller]

haha! some of these replies are funny as fuck.
i know 1 thing, id pass 'sittin around with stoners 101' with an A+

[burnttwaffle]

me and a friend in music theory:

Friend in black:
F - Fsharp - D - H sharp.
u understand that??
on the keybord
there aint no h in music.
LOL im so burnt

[Tuscano56]

"Yo man, do you gotta be home by a certain time?"

-"Dawg....i lay my own weight...."

[EASYlivin]

"I think im in trouble"---- us realizing were fucked up.
"Rob! stop feeding the fire!!"-----
"We have so much food."
"Dude.....Its like Im in another world"




Our classics ^^

[duckellington]

I can't remember many right now... just off the top of my head:
*talking to my friend, in concern to what we should do when we run out of weed*
"Dude, just smoke THAT!"
"I can't!"
"Why not, man?"
"'CAUSE IT'S BREAD!"

and the classic

"Dude, how are we gonna live through this?"

[DollarMenu]

"I like tree better."

[RebelINS]

I dropped an icecube getting water at my friends house while high as a kite..and I said..

"Do you want me to put this ice cube in your sink?"

[DCot]

I used to txt myself everything that me and my friends would say while high so I could remember it the next day. These are just a few selections:

So me and a couple friends have really bad munchies and we're over at my house so I go to look in the freezer to see whats mine. I notice a chocolate cream marie calendar pie my mom had given me and I'm like holy shit score.... so I break out this pie and realize that half of it is gone and the other half is freezer burned and I'm like wtf this is super lame. So I just give a spoon to everyone and start eating it anyways... and so I start making up stories about this "freezer burned half-pie" like how dela reese from touched by an angel would come down an be like "I bless this freezer burned half-pie" and my one other friend is just talking about jesus and stuff and shes like "You know I can just see it now Pontius Pilot has Jesus in front of a crowd of jews and hes like 'ok you have two choices you can either free jesus..... or this freezer burned half-pie' and theres like this freezer burned half-pie in shackles with a beard and the crowd is like "FREEZER BURNED HALF-PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We all died for a solid 5 minutes

some other ones:
"fievel gets wet" - a porn version of the carton
"the biggest forehead you've ever seen with the biggest chin you've ever seen with the face squished in the middle" - description of a friend's older sister

[WalkeR.]

Me - "Josh how much food do you have again?"
Josh (friend) - "dude I dont have fuckin any.."
me - "thats not what you fuckin said earlier"
Josh - "OH FOOD HAHA DUDE I HAVE SO FUCKIN MUCH LETS GO"

[doomtrain]

"there used to be sabertooth cats as big as apartment buildings"