Shit.

[smokinokie]

Many meanings for that word.

Smokin shit. Talkin shit. Being da shit. Aw shit. And my fav, HOLEEEY SHIT!



But in this case were talking about the moving of the lower intestine kind of shit.


Our story begins,



Last weekend I came out of retirement as a working musician. I got a call from a dude that has the garage recording studio thing going on, and I've helped him out with some tracks from time to time. So he calls and wants me to play. He's going to drag all the PA stuff to a farm up north of here. He says the "Rainbow People" are coming to this place. The Rainbow People are kind of an offshoot of the Deadheads. Travel around, trade, share, drum circles, ya know, hippee stuff.


The Wednesday before, I got together with this dude and started trying to get some details.

Me: So you say there's a stage?

Him: That's what they tell me.

Me: Do we have e'nuff power?

Him: That's what they tell me.

Me: Do they have lights?

Him: That's what they tell me.

Me: When are we playing?

Him: Saturday Afternoon, into the night if it going good.


At least he did'nt say that's what they told him

It became apparent that this was a very casual thing, so I did'nt really give it much more thought. If he was'nt worried about this stuff, then there was NO way I was gonna be.


So Friday comes around. The happy sack guy has made his delivery, I'm off work and I get to be a hippee all weekend and play on a stage with a big sound system and be toasty to boot!

It had been a beautiful fall day and the harvest moon was going to be up soon as I was driving to this dudes house to help him load up all his stuff, of which there is a LOT!

He runs a gas station I pass on the way to his house. I noticed as I passed that he was there, and he appeared to be in working mode. So I whipped in to ask him how come we were'nt moving stuff and why was he acting like he was working? I was informed that his help did'nt show up so he had to close that night. He seemed convinced that it would'nt be any problem to get it all moved and set up and play the next day. It seemed like an awful lot of work playing roadie and player within a 12 hour period. I had my doubts.


But the real eye opener was being introduced to his bass player! This is what I thought my function was to be in this situation. I tried to keep the perplexed look off my face but did'nt do very well at it,


Him: You did know I wanted you to play keyboards with us, did'nt you?


Me: *blank stare*

If this was ever metioned to me, I don't remember it. I could'a been stoned, I could be stupid. Maybe it's both.


I've played keyboards some for my own amusement, and I've been to this guy's studio and put down some filler type keyboard stuff to some of his songs. But that is different. It's usually just me and him, and I get as many tries as I want to get it right. Tape is cheap!


But to do it in front of PEOPLE!!??


Needless to say, my out look about the weekend took a different slant entirely!


The butterflies, from long ago that used to live in my stomach before we played way back when, were back and MY, HOW BIG THEY HAD GROWN!


It would have been pretty chickenshit to back out at this point, so I just agreed, and kept my apprehension to myself.


Saturday.


Raining.

44 degrees.

Steady north breeze.

9:00 a.m.


I depart to begin the load out. By 11:00 a.m. the rain was slight so we started loading up 3 pick-ups and a trailer and headed to Rainbow People land. When we pull up, we see the stage. A raised platform, in the middle of field, next to a power pole. No roof, no sides, no windbreak.

So before we get to play roadie, we get to play stage construction guys.


After incorporating a school bus, and RV, several tarps, and a pool cover, it kept the lingering rain off, and as a matter of fact, it looked pretty cool! (I'm hoping to track down some pics.)


So by 2:00 p.m. we were ready to start the roadie portion of this gig. After numerous trips back to the studio to get the forgotten items, at 7:00 p.m. it was time to kick the tires and light the fires. They had a lot of old disco lights, one of which worked, but we had plenty of power to kick 1500 watts across the countryside if we chose to.

There was'nt really any need though.

Out of the 200 to 400 people that were expected, about 10 made it! It was'nt exactly a classic fall weekend here on the plains. But after the sun went down, the clouds went somewhere else to hang out leaving us with a near full moon and temperatures that made the fire feel really good.

So after a couple of bowls of hippee stew, (throw everything you can find into a pot and cook it, damn fine stuff if you're starving like I was by then) an extended session of bongs and pipes, we hit the stage.


I'll give my playing a C+. No real bad klinkers, if I was'nt sure what was goin on, I grabbed the tamborine and became Mr. Rhythm.


One of the highlights of the evening was during a break when everyone grabbed their drums (and there were some cool congas!) and just started a beat. My youngest daughter was up on the stage looking around with me, so we went and got behind the drum set. She sat on my lap, I worked the pedals and she had the sticks. We hammered on down for about 30 min. Ahhh. Love bonding with the kids and the spirits at the same time.


All in all it was a very fun evening. I met the folks that were hosting. Old hippees that run a tie-die shop in town. Very cool folks! We're going back out soon to hang with them again. Man! I thought I had some stories!



So at this point you're probably asking yourself,


"Yes. But who are you, why are you telling us this, and what does this have to do with shit?"



To that I answer;

Like Popeye, I yam what I yam, and I've spent this entire post setting the stage for the title, so without further ado.....


Let's rewind to Saturday morning.


As all of the afore mentioned things had taken place, I was'nt sittin quite square in the saddle, a half bubble off, not on top of my game, so to speak, that morning.


So I'm sitting on the toilet, taking a great big title to this thread (shit) and the ol' lady is putting in her eyes and doin all that ol' lady stuff that they do. I'm asking her if she's got her dugout loaded. She says yes she does but I probably ought to load mine because I'm going out much earlier that she is. So I tell her to hand me my the stuff so I can load my hitter up. (Yes, our stash place is in the bathroom, what's so weird about that?)


I dunno about your dugout, but mine has the spring under where the hitter sits so it will pop up when you open the lid.


Mine has a pretty springee spring under it.



*sliding back the lid*

*sproing*

*klink*

*ploop*


For those of you who don't know what ploop means, it's the sound a small object makes when it hits water.



As if this was'nt bad e'nuff, it was late in my constitutional and most of the residue of last nights supper was already laying in the bowl, along with my hitter.


My dear wife, in her supportive way, split her sides laughing. Damn near fell in the tub. Once she had regained some of her composure, I asked her if she had any ideas on how I could rescue it. Laughing and cackling not unlike a hen, she left my throne room. She returned a few minutes later with the bar-b-que tongs. Those things are so useful!


You're talking to a daddy who has a hair trigger gag reflex. Back when I had to change diapers, I always wore a bandana around my face! Hoping that I could get lucky and not have to dig in my own excrement, I examined the situation.


Nope. No such luck. It had gone to the bottom. This was going to require some probing.

The thought crossed my mind to just go ahead and flush it away and let it go to hitter heaven. But the way this day was starting it probably would have clogged up the toilet and I would have to add plumber to list of duties for the day.


On the third dive, and fourth gag, I retreived it.



And threw it right in the trash.


Along with the tongs.


No way I could ever use either one ever again. Even if they were operating room clean.


So it's time to make a head shop run for a new hitter.

And maybe a new dugout too.


One with an un-springee spring.




Thank you for letting me ramble.

[KraziHare]

Holy shit that was funny

shit

shit

Heh, dunno if I should say "interesting weekend" or "that's a bummer man". oh well, I suppose the good has to come with the bad... or we wouldn't really have much of a concept of good... or something.

[unoit]

HIGH All, *LOL* your a brave man smokin for going that deep. Bet ya the the ol' lady is <B>still</B> laughing. Thanks for the gross laugh smokin.

[overgrowray]

HAHAHAHA, thats funny, sorry it had to happen though, no more packing one up on the shitter.

[IGotTheCottons]

Originally posted by overgrowray
...no more packing one up on the shitter.

LOL that's insanely hilarious... makes for quite a story though

[Big Poppa Puff]

All those years of smoking shitty weed came back to bite you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you gag when typing this story out. I hoped you washed your hands before you got on the keyboard.

[420girlie]

Originally posted by arseface
hahaha...

cool story...

I would have cleaned it out (properly - with bleach!) and then told the story as I was passing it round

and I thought it was bad when I stuck my pipe in my nose and let this stupid girl hit it

[420girlie]

Originally posted by smokinokie


One of the highlights of the evening was during a break when everyone grabbed their drums (and there were some cool congas!) and just started a beat.

I love congas I have a class at school and I just get all high and we sit around playing congas and djembes and clave and bells and all that fun stuff. It's my favorite stoner class besides culinary arts and first grade tutoring

[smokinokie]

Originally posted by arseface
hahaha...

cool story...

I would have cleaned it out (properly - with bleach!) and then told the story as I was passing it round

After the fact, the very idea occured to me!











GET OUTTA MY HEAD MAN!!!!!!



I'm still trying to get some pics of the hippee fest.


Lately I've been having to wear my helmet while online because this freekin 'puter's been crashing more than the NASDAQ.




I shall endeavor to presevere!

[420girlie]

I saw the coolest pipe in high times the other day. It was a man playing some congas and you sucked out of his head and one of the drums was the bowl, it was sweet. I must have it. That's why i'm gonna learn how to blow glass. I want to make all my homies custom pieces.

[IndianaToker]

Great story!! Hehe, the one shitter... Lol!

[IGotTheCottons]

Originally posted by 420girlie
I saw the coolest pipe in high times the other day. It was a man playing some congas and you sucked out of his head and one of the drums was the bowl, it was sweet. I must have it. That's why i'm gonna learn how to blow glass. I want to make all my homies custom pieces.

i have that issue... and i checked out the site for that piece... it's like $600 i think... stml... it's high though. more than 500... less than a grand

[namron_420s]

ive heard of people smoking some stankin shit before..but damn smokin..your takin it to a new level aintcha?

[sensimil]

Originally posted by arseface
hahaha...

cool story...

I would have cleaned it out (properly - with bleach!) and then told the story as I was passing it round

aw, man! I dunno what the hell I would do if someone did that to me..!

lol. funny stuff

[IGotTheCottons]

Originally posted by sensimil



aw, man! I dunno what the hell I would do if someone did that to me..!

lol. funny stuff

i'd throw up... yeah... that's most likely what would happen. lmao!