Official "How to *NOT* get caught" Thread?

[dirtybongwater]

bumpage

[dirtybongwater]

New links added. See the <--new link in the original post of the thread to find the new links.

[Cancerous]

I've got a special pipe I use to toke in my room. The bowls got a spring loaded cap on it, so that when i'm done hitting it the bowl extinguishes itself immediatly made it myself

[dirtybongwater]

Here's another cute but genuine comic about your rights if you were to ever get caught. From NRML's website.

[AnalogSwitch]

Originally Posted by Cancerous

I've got a special pipe I use to toke in my room. The bowls got a spring loaded cap on it, so that when i'm done hitting it the bowl extinguishes itself immediatly made it myself

Sounds cool, pictures, please?

LMAO... "Stripsearch yo momma"

[dirtybongwater]

bump.

I thought some of the newer members may like to read this.

[KillaStan]

Originally Posted by dirtybongwater

bump.

I thought some of the newer members may like to read this.

Yeah, Good looking out!

[DurbanPoison]

Bumpity Bump...


Lots of Useful info in this thread!

[hydrosmoker81]

When I lived at my moms I smoked in my car or in the room out of the window with the fan on after she went to bed or when I was home alone.
I have my own house now but Its a duplex, I have nosey neighbors and a cop a couple of doors down plus a 3 year old and people stop in freely. I clean my house before hand and light candles and spray airfreshner so that the house is "fresh" I Keep my bong in one of my closets and my pipes and smoke in a stash tin in my night table or in a kitchen drawer so that its convinient but not laying around. I smoke out on the stoop in the kitchen in my room or in the living room depending on the situation, In my room I slide the airconditioner accordian over and blow the smoke out and then close it and spray body spray in the air conditioner so my room smells sexy. If Im downstairs I just keep doors and windows open and use air fresh my house always smells good so people miss the dank undertones..........LOL. I take showers after smoking a lot to make me smell fresh so that I can socialize with out raising suspicion.

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by greyface5555

Here's what I do to smoke cigs/pot when my parents are home. I have no bathrooms with windows and at night my house makes a lot of creaking noises (lots of stairs and hardwood floors) so movement could wake my parents up. So, I'm forced to smoke in my room "after hours."

A lot of this stuff you've heard/know already. I find it refreshing to type it all out, and it might be handy to someone, so here goes...

My parents hate the fact I smoke cigarettes (in fact, I lied and told em I quit) and could not imagine what would happened if they discovered me with pot. Therefore, my own secrecy takes priority to getting high. It's sad, but I'm a sheltered suburban boy... I really have no alternative. I absolutely cannot let myself be caught for all that is holy/unholy/whatever-the-hell-you-believe.
What I Do:

1) Your parents should be ASLEEP. Wait 'til their out cold... either snoring or 1 hour after they've retired and the bedroom TV goes off.

2) Only smoke on floors above your parents' room if you can. Same level is riskier, and basements are FORBIDDEN. Door closed. Locked. Window open. Cloth curtains as far removed from window as reasonable.

3) Turn on any fans that are reasonably quiet. Cieling fans rule, those big squarish ones (which I haven't seen in a decade) not so much. (too loud)

4) I lean out my window when I smoke... I'm in a suburban neighborhood, and my window is on the side of the house, so only 2 other homes are in plain view. This may be difficult if you live in an area with dense housing or with neighbors who stay up late all the time. If you can lean out a window DO IT... it'll save you 1573458 hassles when dealing with the smell. The nice thing about pot is the smell doesn't linger like tobacco... unless your room has a white cloud in it the stinks will be gone in the morning without chemical help.

5) I store my pot in a baggie, then I place that and my pipe in a freezer bag. I then place that bag in another freezer bag with a few dryer sheets. Completely smell-proof to humans, can be wadded up to the size of a baseball, and could appear inconspicuous at first view. Hide it in a spot that no one would bother looking. I hide mine in a box for computer parts. If your hiding spot is a place where a ziploc bag would not be suspicious, I can almost guarantee you it won't be discovered.

6) Keep Fabreeze handy 24/7. Spray everything that's cloth at the first hint of smell. Sometimes you won't notice it RIGHT after a session, it's usually the next day when I realize I need it. I have to do this just about anytime I use tobacco in this way.

7) I find cover noise (soft TV/music) to be distracting... mistaking news reports for people at my door and drum beats for feet on stairs. Just be silent, lights out. You're sleeping. In fact, open up your bedsheets. Smoke in your pajamas.

8) Have an emergecy protocol. If someone knocks at your door, you can be fumbling with plastic bags/glass or metal pipes/windows/squirting purfumes/what-have-you. Have a contigency hiding spot RIGHT NEXT to where you smoke. My guitar amp is right next to my window... it has a hollow back and I store my empty bags in it while I smoke, and I can toss everything back there if I hear a knock. Another nice thing about pretending to sleep is you have justification for ignoring the first few knocks.

9) If you do hear a knock, that's bad news. You did go through all this trouble to prevent this, ja? It's never happened to me, though if it did, on my way to the door I'd walk through a cloud of Fabreeze, and only open the door about a foot. Stand in the opening and field questions... the room will be dark, and hopefully (if they think you were sleeping) you will only have to field a few quick questions before they leave. If a neighbor comes outside, try not to be seen. Put out the bowl/j quickly and duck inside. Hope they didn't see you, or are cool if they did. Don't mention the scene to anyone. I wouldn't try smoking again for a while. Hope they forget. Time is your friend. (My neighbor saw me with a cig hanging out my window today, in fact! Oh, tobacco, of the evil leafs there is no equal!)

10) Minimize your need to clean up while stoned. I find worrying about junk everywhere ruins my high... I like to be chilling in front of my TV within one minute of smoking. Clean up and put all your weed away before lighting. Hide everything not immediately needed for smoking. I usually just drop everything back into the bags in my amp for the night, and move it back to my permanent hiding spot in the morning.

11) After I'm done, if I smoked a cig I stowe my butt in a nearby gutter temporarily (until I can flush it down the toilet) but if the only evidence is ash I just let it fall. If there's any reason ANYONE would be snooping around the parameter of your house... DON'T SMOKE OUT YOUR WINDOW! Don't do it out a window above mail boxes, meters, air conditioners, whatever... the people who work with these things make a living snitching out potheads.

----------------------

Damn, that came out long. I want to hear some other good ways to smoke at home.
That's how I do it at least. Sorry it came out like a book.

Greyface man... i feel the urgent need to tell you this. DO NOT throw your cig butts down the toilet!

on one occasion when i was in sophomore year in highschool, i flushed a cig butt down the toilet, and awoke in the morning to find that my sister had discovered (and reported to my parents) it floating in the water. my parents were decently loose about marijuana when i was that age, however they HATED and still do HATE cigarettes.

it must've floated back up the pipes. which is fucked up, because i watched it go down.

maybe it was just a problem with the toilet or something, but i never flushed another butt down the toilets.

[Four-Two-Zero]

Nice

[Bleezie_King]

that cartoon is cool. good info in there.

[SoljaFeJah]

I would like to suggest Rhoto V, Its the best eye drops you can get. It will clear your eyes in 30 seconds or less and it lasts for hours. You can pick it up at CVS or a Wallgreens. Trust me, Rhoto V works alot better than Visene so dont say "Well why dont i just use visene". NO it dont work as well.

CODE NAME FOR RHOTO V- THE HOLY GRAIL

[chipcago]

I'm just bumping all the really cool threads tonight.

Anyways.

Indoor session:


1. For a wake and bake, turn the shower and fan on. It offers good noise protection. If you're going in the afternoon, just the fan should suffice, you're just taking a poo. Just be sure that no one is within earshot.

2. Toss a towel under the bathroom Door.

3. Open the window up, quietly.

4. Have your bowl already pre-loaded. Fumbling with nuggets in the bathroom isn't good, who knows what could happen.

5. Spark up! Light the bowl, inhale big and deep. Hold in, do whatever you do. Blow out the window, preferably using a well-made sploof.

6. Don't set your bowl down inside after your hit. Hold the bowl to the window. Don't burn a hole in the screen, however, this is suspicious.

Warning: If you feel like you're getting a headrush, set your glass and lighter down somewhere were they will not be immediately seen by someone walking in. Quickly. Headrush can result in blacking out and injury. If you feel a headrush coming on, set your stuff down and sit on the toilet until it passes.

7. Finish up your bowl, repeating steps 5 and 6. If you want to smoke another bowl in a little while, and chill out for now, set your stash deep into a drawer, or to be safe, in your normal stash spot.

8. If you have air freshener, good. Spray a few sprays of it. Shut the window, and make sure you have all of your things hidden.

9. Put 1 or 2 drops of Visine or Clear-Eyes into each eye. Chew a piece of gum or pop a breathmint.

10. DON'T EAT MUNCHIES IMMEDIATELY, And when you do, don't eat a ton at a time. This is how one of my friends got caught. We finished our last bowl, went upstairs to chill in his room and listen to music, and he went downstairs, and put like 30 pizza rolls in the microwave. His mom, suspicious, looked in his eyes (he didn't have visine) saw that they were red, and smelled his breath. I, fortunately, didn't get caught, because when he told me he did, I shoved about 10 pieces of gum in my mouth. When she asked to smell my breath, I blew out, and she noted "A lot of gum." I'm like "Are you accusing me?" She's like "No." And in my head, i'm like 'yesss...'

11. Don't put your desire to get high in front of your risk of getting caught.

12. Have fun, and enjoy your high. Try not to talk too little or too much around parents. Try to think of how you'd normally be acting in that situation, and do your best to act that way. Don't try too hard. What I'm saying is, don't take a nap when you woke up at noon and normally wouldn't be napping, and don't act like you just slugged down 3 coffees. Try and hit that middle-ground.


Outdoor session.

1. Should be late at night. If it's broad daylight out, and you have neighbors, see "Indoor session."

2. Parents should be asleep.

3. Make sure all windows in the vicinity of your smoking area are closed.

4. Take your stuff outside onto the back deck.

5. Hit it. Blow away from the house.

6. Repeat 5 until cashed.

7. Chill. Come slowly inside. If you have a dog, great, the door opening was you letting him out. Don't make too much noise, but don't try to act sneaky, as it can raise suspicion.

8. If you're very paranoid that your parents are going to come check on you, chew some gum, have a beverage. Put visine in.

9. Have fun. This is slightly easier than the indoor session, and requires less preparation, however, the light from the lighter is fucking bright in the dead of night. If you're smoking with a buddy, have him cover the lighter, both for wind protection and containing the light.

[420TheCollector]

I agree that this thread deserves a sticky. It's very quick to read and easy to understand; and it's a frequently asked question.

Have you seen that video "Flex your rights" or whatever it was called? It basically made a movie out of the cartoons- I could find it for you if you haven't heard of it because it would be good to have on the original post.

If I would have known my rights I would have never got arrested. Thanks DBW for making this thread and looking out for people!