Guide: How to smoke on the safe side

[BubbaKushKrusha]

Hi everyone!
ive seen alot of posts about people asking how to smoke in the house (ect ect)
so i thought id make a nice little guide on how to chief on the safe side
(an old guide i wrote, thought id repost)

Lets start at the close places.

1)Your house
-if your gonna chief at your house your first option should always be to take it outside
i know that there is always gonna be mother nature in the way, possibly nosy neighbors, or just cant chief outside, so we can discuss ways around that!

-if you can go outside, always be smart (no pipes or evidence if there does happen to be an intruder (joints/blunts only). Try and find a spot kind of concealed from everything else (front porch, back porch, side of house). If all else fails, roll yourself a joint, and go walk the block, just watch for cars and fellow walkers!

-when chiefing anywhere in your house, always be sure to use common sense (cover your caughs, cover the smell, and its always better to look sketchy than just straight up smelling like pot)
-also, dont be stupid and leave your bud out or any ashes (ect. ect.)

a)In the bathroom
-when smoking in the bathroom, the only way that this option is really plausible, you would either have to have a fart sniffer (fan) or a window.
-some people say that turning the shower on hot and then chiefing helps, but whenever ive done that, the room just gets really dense, and the humidity gives something the smell to stick on, so i just suggest no shower.

b)In your room
-my personal favorite (Your chiefing in the comfortability of your own room!)
-only probable if you have a fan, a window, or a really big room!)
-having a good ventalation system going is always a good thing, make sure you have all the smoke blown out your window, or atleast away from your door! (in my room, i have a ceiling fan, a tower fan, and my window, so i put my fan at my door (good for stalling also) and point towards my window and leave my ceiling fan on)
-in your closet is always just another barrier you can use to your advantage, that is if you have a walk in closet!, but anyways, just shut your door and try and trap all the smoke you can in your closet.

c)The garage
-as you can tell, this is pretty much only an option if it is really late at night and your parents are hard sleepers, or your parents are pack rats and the only function your garage servers as is a storage building.
-the garage is an option, just crack your garage door, or if your have a side door, just stand in the door way and blow the smoke outside!

-smoking in your house only goes as well as you plan.
-if you do something stupid, like smoke in your room while your parents are eating dinner, or you leave your ground up weed on a cd case in your closet.
-always be a safe smoker! be sure you clean up your mess! and be courteous.

II)Smell Agents

-since bud has such a potent smell, it can be tricky to mask the smell sometimes.
-as i said before, better to smell like a bottle of nasty ass axe than a dead skunk rolled in a rilllo.
(i do not recommend axe or any other spray deoderant like that, they just kinda adds a stinky ass smell to your mj auroma)

a)Air Sanitizers/Sprays
-always use what your parents buy or what your house smells like, dont run around spraying your house with the cologne your mom absolutely hates cause you and your homeboys baked a batch of brownies.
-dont over do it, although it still smells like sweet sweet mary, dont panic, just open a window or two, and lightly spray your house.
-Many people have different recommendations, but i just simply recommend the Fresh Air stuff. Go fo the natural smells, or fresh odors. When you start throwing your fruitbowl into the air, smells tend not to mix well.

b)Candles
-the good ol' candles, this one may be a tricky task, you may have to start lighting candles before you start chiefing in your house just incase suspision arises.
-just one light candle in your room or bathroom will do well! but make sure and pay attention! we dont want to have to call 911!

c)Insence
-same as candles, but i personally never really got into insence, so i cant really shine much light on that subject.

d)Sploofs
-somewhat of a new subject to me, tried them once or twice, wasnt too impressed with the resuilts
-but what you do is your take a toilet paper roll and wrap a laundry sheet around one end and stuff it with toilet paper and then you blow the smoke through the toilet paper and out the dryer sheet and i guess your room is susposed to smell like your laundry room now
-(edit on the sploof= stuff your T.P. roll with laundry sheets and slap one on the outside and Viola!)

e)Carbon Sploofs
-not too hip on this subject
-any light shown upon this item would be greatly appreciated

III) On the road
-alright, now were gonna take a journey on the more dangerous side of chiefing, and thats on the road.
-smokin in my car or anyones car at that is one of my least favorite places to chief becuase i dont care who you are, paranoia is a bitch.
-all it takes is one wrong move and a law can pull you over and do you on all fours right there
-but i know there are times when chiefing on the road is necessary.
a)always make sure to have your windows cracked (except in weather conditions)
b)clean your car regularly
-dont leave any seeds or shake anywhere in your car (probable cause) and pigs love to make bullshit like that up
c)keep the smell away
-cologne, spray, cigarettes, anything but bud!
-if you do happened to get pulled over, and you smoke squares, spark one up!
d)only keep with you what you plan on smoking
-roll a blunt with you before you leave
e)STASH SPOT!
-one of the most important things about your car, must have a good stash spot.
-a good spot in your trunk is usually a good option or under your dashboard
-it may sound crazy, but if you get pulled over, and do happen to have something on you, and you have nowhere to hide it or no way to get rid of it, stick it in your pants.
-CROTCH THAT SHIT MAN! no bullshit, if a cop grabs on your shit like that, you turn around a bitch slap that officer!
f) eye drops
-vizene or anything of that sort will do you good, give the officer NO reason to fuck with you

g)MOST IMPORTANT
-never never never never let the officer search you
-i dont care what they say, cops are never out to help you, they have no say in your punishment, they will try and scare you until you shit your pants, but just let them sit around with their thumbs in their asses while they try and fuck with you
-if the cop says give me what you have and ill let you go, you know theres 2 options, trust him or dont.
-all cops are different in all citys, so its your decision. personally, i would never trust a fuckin law in my city, they gonna have to go thru hell to get my shit.

-(edit)always lock your door, wether it be in your bathroom or your room, and if you have no lock, than try and put something there to divert their attention (even though you were probally bellowing out a hella puff) never the less, do anything to stall!
-if anything, plead your not decent!

when i wrote this,
i was brain fucked...
i felt like a vegetable on my bed...
so i just decided to start writing


hope this guide helps all of you struggling smokers out!
im accepting all revisions and additions!
Enjoy GC

[JayGray]

a lot of good info. + rep

[Snowy Sessions]

good guide. +rep. i learned alot about carbon spoofs on GC. use the seach function.

[Tokin'420]

Good guide but i always use sploofs and they seem to work for me but my parents eventually caught on to me and asked why my room smelt like a laundry room, also a tip if you use that after every 3-5 bong sessions change the bounty sheets and also when u throw out the bounty sheets try puting them in the bottom of the garbage because they will be soo brown and look like a cigarette filter with all the tar it filters

[fretflyer]

very good guide, what i do at home is just wait till my parents go to sleep and then smoke in the garage and light up a cig afterward, the weed smell is gone by morning and i get really ripped!

[420Shane]

+Rep for actually writing all that out. Could be useful for the newbies

[Firebrand|420]

I live in a dorm and on weekends they do rounds through the hallways every few hours. In order to smoke in peace, I put a towl under the door, tape up my smoke detector, and blow the smoke out the window through a spoof. Most importantly however, I pack my bong with single hits. As in, when I hit the bong 100% of the smoke enters my lungs and then is exhaled out the window.

[DrFrylock]

one thing to do for a stall, its embarresing as hell, but say you were masturbating, tryed it once when i blazed up in my room and my moms came to the door, worked like charm, even thoe she caught me 3 days later with a quarter bag in my hand. lol

[Iluvatar]

Originally Posted by DrFrylock

one thing to do for a stall, its embarresing as hell, but say you were masturbating, tryed it once when i blazed up in my room and my moms came to the door, worked like charm, even thoe she caught me 3 days later with a quarter bag in my hand. lol

Thats hilarious

[JohnsonInhales]

Originally Posted by Firebrand|420

I live in a dorm and on weekends they do rounds through the hallways every few hours. In order to smoke in peace, I put a towl under the door, tape up my smoke detector, and blow the smoke out the window through a spoof. Most importantly however, I pack my bong with single hits. As in, when I hit the bong 100% of the smoke enters my lungs and then is exhaled out the window.

Not a bad plan, the single hit is key. I smoked all last year in my dorm room, but I also had a private bathroom in my room and no roommate most of the time so that minimized a lot of the trouble. One thing to be careful with is the smoke detector though, the only time I almost got caught was when my alarm went off because I was "tampering" with it.

[King Chronic]

good guide, personally, if i know my room stinks and i can hear my rents walking up staris (im in the basement) i try to engage them before they get near the room so they have no reason to go in there. even though im usually baked as fuck i would much rather try and be convincing to my rents that im not high as opposed to them walking in to the room and having it smell like bob marleys basement lol.

basically if you dont wanna get caught, just wait till your rents go to sleep then blaze in your room with a window open. if they go to bed why would they get up and come check on you? thats just kinda creepy, wake up and your rents are staring into your room lol.

[Ganja123]

Amazing Guide!
+rep

[SantaFknClaus]

nice guide.. + rep

ive been teaching myself the ways for a long while, so i didnt find much new.
nevertheless im sure a very valuble guide for some peple

ill come back to contribute something at some point

[slippeh]

Another safe tip: inform your parents and talk it out with them. Hopefully both parties involved can do a little compromising and come to a common middle ground, that way everyone benefits.

Obviously if you're a pastor's son/daughter, don't do that. And you guys know your parents better than I do. But I've found many parents are much more open to the idea of their kids blazing (assure them you only blaze) than you may expect. Well, unless you're failing school, have no job, don't have responsibilites around the house, and shit like that

[w0wz]

thanks, will come in handy