Stealth Smoking In Your Car

[Blutteufel]

During the last few weeks, I spent a lot of time blazing in my car, because for my new job I have to drive around a lot, and as such I needed to find some ways to keep people from knowing I'm breaking the law, however poorly enforced it may be around here. It's not the smell that is a problem (but I'll be covering that, too), but it looks mighty suspicious to see a guy chain-smoking what appear to be cigarettes in a car with the windows rolled up, watching every person that goes by. It's even weirder to see two or even three people doing it, because sometimes my unemployed friends tag along either to help me or to chill and get high (or both), because my job is very slow-paced, so I have time to take it easy and suffer no consequences.

To start this off, I'll talk about some suspicious activities to avoid. Some of these things people do without even realizing it could be seen as suspicious, but I like to cover all the angles when I smoke anywhere that may not be safe.

- When smoking at night with the interior light(s) on, do not turn them off when people draw near. That's probably the dumbest thing you could do, because it just screams that there's something going on. If you're going to use the light, keep it on. People driving past don't have the time to see what's going on, and pedestrians probably won't look too closely. Plus, it's not like you can't put the lighter to the bowl or the joint to your mouth without seeing what you're doing, and if you can't, you have some problems. I let my friend drive one night because I smoked waaay too much and didn't feel safe, so after a while we parked on the side of a road on the outskirts of town for a while, and the girl in the back seat kept smoking like a chimney, and reached to the dashboard and turned the light off every time a car came by, which made the drivers watch us until they passed. It's good to learn from mistakes.

- Hotboxing your car is fun, but it doesn't actually get you much higher, if at all. Most people I know do it just to find out if they can smoke so much they can't see anything, myself included. Plus, there are few things more suspicious than seeing a car full of smoke, so try to avoid boxin' your car unless you can destroy any evidence. For example, don't use bongs, pipes or any kind of paraphernalia that can't be completely disposed of: stick with joints, because you can just eat the roach. Blunts should be avoided, too, because they aren't as easy to get rid of, either. Joints are by far the safest. Keep the windows open a crack to let the smoke out, or keep them rolled right down if there aren't any pedestrians around. The people in vehicles aren't a threat, because it's not like they pull over and sniff around whenever they see a parked car with people in it. I'm not saying you shouldn't hotbox your ride, but you should be careful.

- Passing the joint may be a time-honored stoner ritual, but it's also one of those seemingly harmless actions that may tell people something is going on. 99% percent of the time, people will think you're just smoking a cigarette, which is what you want them to think, but when you keep passing it back and forth between your group, it looks pretty suspicious. It's best to have at least one joint per person. This is another one to keep in mind when smoking somewhere that you run a greater risk of getting busted.

- Like turning off the light(s) when someone gets close to the car, trying to hide the joint (or whatever you're smoking with) looks pretty bad. It's a common mistake many people make. Just act cool, and people probably won't think twice about it. I've come close to getting busted more times than I can remember because one idiot I was smoking with started sketchin' out. That's why it's best to stay the fuck away from people that get paranoid when they smoke, because they are a huge liability. They start losin' their grip, and then they create a problem that never would have happened, and then later they give that whole "Man, I fuckin' told ya so" speech. It's a self-fullfilling prophecy. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble by shunning contact with these people.

- Keep it out of sight. If you're smoking with something other than a joint, blunt or small pipe, make sure you don't hold it up when you hit it. You'd be surprised how many people do this without thinking, only to look up and see someone staring at them from outside, looking like they are about to call the cops. lean forward and keep the bong or whatever under the level of the windows, or try and take a hit when nobody is looking. I really hope nobody here would actually smoke in a place where they could be easily seen, though. These tips are for people smoking in areas like large, empty parking lots, seldom-used side streets, alleys, outskirt areas, your driveway, etc.

- Never bring more grass than you can smoke, and be careful what do you with what you already have. You don't want to accidentally drop a bit that can be found, so one again, it's best to bring weed that's been rolled into something. I always used to carry an 1/8 on me, but now I keep it limited to one or two joints.

- If you really want to be a sneaky bastard, you can get a cigarette shaped one hitter. Most people I know think one hitters are for pussies, because they like to show off by taking huge hits that would make the lungs of an ordinary man explode, but these things really can come in handy for stealth smoking, especially when they look like a cigarette. (thanks to Scarpis for this tip)

That's all I have come up with so far, and few people have so much as glanced my way when smoking in my car. As for the smell, there are many ways to fix that.

- Air it out by leaving the doors open for a few hours and hose it down with some sort of spray like Febreeze or Lysol. Don't use a deoderant spray like Axe or Tag. A lot of people ask why they shouldn't, but when it happens, you'll know.

- Burn some incense with the windows up or, if you smoke cigarettes, drench the fucker with tobacco smoke reek (the latter method being the easiest).

- If you're lazy and want time to do the job for you, buy like 50 of those pine air fresheners and leave them all over the interior.


There are other methods for odour control, but I find these are the best (minus the cigarette one, for I would kill without hesitation anyone that dares to light one in my ride).

If I think of any more things for either stealth or smell elimination, or if anyone suggests one, I will put it up (with credit to the one that suggested another method). I know many people love to smoke in their car, but it's not the safest way to get baked. If these tips help even one person, then my job is done.

[chinesechef]

Awesome post man, I can't believe I'm the first to reply. You offer some sound advice... I think I might be one of those people who gets paranoid and I really need to work on that.

Great guide!

[coolrunnings]

Your job description.

I recovered that fumble immediately.

Im a sharp one.

[Scapris]

Get a cigarette shaped one hitter, I always blaze on smoke break at work with it.



-Mark

[Bossman1086]

Originally Posted by Scapris

Get a cigarette shaped one hitter, I always blaze on smoke break at work with it.



-Mark

That thing's pretty awesome. I want something stealth like that at some point.

[mrvile]

Good writeup man but I think you could've said all the same stuff in less than half the writing.

Oh and if I smoke in my car I never turn the inside lights on. It's just stupid plus everyone should be able to smoke in the dark (unless you got some crazy device going on which probably isn't a good idea for a car).

[Dijinari]

whoever needs the light on to smoke is a pure idiot and most likely a new smoker. it doesn't take much coordination to put the lighter to the bowl or a joint/blunt to the mouth. my friends and i pass blunts no lights on and drive easily. You dont need a joint per person...just keep that shit low(below windshield/window line). Bottom line is NEVER SMOKE WITH THE LIGHT ON and if you need it you should NOT BE DRIVING. Having it on alone in the middle of the night draws immediate attention...let alone sitting on the side of the road.

IMO bringing a bowl on a ride is a huge mistake. Don't take anything you can't ditch. Blunt or jibs are the way it should be. To be honest with you from my 9 years in smoking I find jibs to smell way more than blunts.

[EdgarOregon100]

I would add that whenever possible it is preferable to smoke when the car is being driven (either by yourself or by someone else). That way you can leave the windows open as your driving and the smell clears itself out. And unless you're driving in a heavily populated downtown area, people have no chance of seeing what you're doing.

[Buzzard]

heh, i gave you another bar. Excellent post.

[toker69]

very very very good post! i just started smoking in my car last week so all of this was very informative! + rep

[Blutteufel]

You guys would be surprised how many people actually have the lights on for some reason. The only time I ever have them on is if I'm trying to read something. Some of my friends prefer to have them on, and I can never figure out why. I know the thing was a little lengthy, though, but I think it works just as well. I have a habit of going into detail sometimes. Oh well. I don't like driving while high, though, but I like driving while smoking even less. I just don't feel comfortable doing it.

Originally Posted by coolrunnings

Your job description.



I recovered that fumble immediately.



Im a sharp one.

Not exactly sure what you mean by that, but if you're implying that I'm a drug dealer now, then no, that's not what I do. I just drive around and do quick surveys of certain areas and record some information.

[coolrunnings]

Not exactly sure what you mean by that, but if you're implying that I'm a drug dealer now, then no, that's not what I do. I just drive around and do quick surveys of certain areas and record some information.[/quote]
Foiled again...

[420420420]

Also, I recommend using Ozium

[HIGHatFIVE]

I always use a cigarette looking one hitter - like the guy above - I even once had a cop pull up next to me when I was just finished hitting it - I just held it like a cig - no problems

[Snaffle]

Originally Posted by HIGHatFIVE

I always use a cigarette looking one hitter - like the guy above - I even once had a cop pull up next to me when I was just finished hitting it - I just held it like a cig - no problems

What about the smell of the bud?