Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by nitokerght

I can't even handle this thread right now, I cracked up for like 10 minutes after reading this.

yeah, dazednconfused had a fucking hilarious story. I was laughing on the floor when I first read it too, it's just such an easy scenario to visualize.

[hoharhardyhar]

well, one time i got really baked after school from chambering in my friend's car. After that, i went to my grandma's house to just chill and eat. I'm sitting at the table, munching on some good 'ol poppy seed muffins while she is sitting at the table as well. I always get thoughts like "what if she knows im stoned?" cause she always smiles at me when she talks and im always thinking that she is trying to make me laugh to try and confirm if i am stoned or not. Guess i passed.

another one. i was at a party and i got stoned, nothing new. Weird thing is that couple days later, people were saying that i was acting like a raptor or some crap and that i was on a small trampoline inside the house saying "listen to the stoned one." i have absolutely no memory of this. i also found a pic of two drunk girls and me, on myspace, that i don't remember taking. All in all, it was a great night.

[HerbsINtheBurbs]

Originally Posted by hoharhardyhar

well, one time i got really baked after school from chambering in my friend's car. After that, i went to my grandma's house to just chill and eat. I'm sitting at the table, munching on some good 'ol poppy seed muffins while she is sitting at the table as well. I always get thoughts like "what if she knows im stoned?" cause she always smiles at me when she talks and im always thinking that she is trying to make me laugh to try and confirm if i am stoned or not. Guess i passed.

another one. i was at a party and i got stoned, nothing new. Weird thing is that couple days later, people were saying that i was acting like a raptor or some crap and that i was on a small trampoline inside the house saying "listen to the stoned one." i have absolutely no memory of this. i also found a pic of two drunk girls and me, on myspace, that i don't remember taking. All in all, it was a great night.

pics you see mornings after are always the greatest

[metalstonerking]

Another one...

So last night me and a friend (maidenstoner) are blazin in my dad's car and of course we get hungry as shit. So we goto Burger King and the inside is closed but the drive thru is open (I dunno why this always happens).

So I pull up and don't want to try and figure out who gets what change and all that so I'm like "Can we get like two orders?"

And for some reason I think she's Mexican so she says something and I'm like "does that mean yes?" And then she says it again and I go "So...like...we can?" This hapens about 6 times and my friend starts laughing and goes "Dude she just said 'sure' like 8 times." So then we both just start laughing and then I get excited because we can do two orders so then I start yelling my order at her and then continue laughing.

Then it's his turn to order and we're literally sitting there for 10 minutes trying to figure out how many chicken nuggets he wants. WE finally get through it and I pull into the lot to get a space. I pull in and the guy next to us is all like gangsta and he gives this weird ass look, so I start laughing and drive to another spot. And next to that one is a guy that looks exactly like the other guy and gives us another look. So then I just laughing my ass off and driving around in circles in the parking lot.

By the way, the lady turned out to be very white.

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by metalstonerking

Another one...

So last night me and a friend (maidenstoner) are blazin in my dad's car and of course we get hungry as shit. So we goto Burger King and the inside is closed but the drive thru is open (I dunno why this always happens).

So I pull up and don't want to try and figure out who gets what change and all that so I'm like "Can we get like two orders?"

And for some reason I think she's Mexican so she says something and I'm like "does that mean yes?" And then she says it again and I go "So...like...we can?" This hapens about 6 times and my friend starts laughing and goes "Dude she just said 'sure' like 8 times." So then we both just start laughing and then I get excited because we can do two orders so then I start yelling my order at her and then continue laughing.

Then it's his turn to order and we're literally sitting there for 10 minutes trying to figure out how many chicken nuggets he wants. WE finally get through it and I pull into the lot to get a space. I pull in and the guy next to us is all like gangsta and he gives this weird ass look, so I start laughing and drive to another spot. And next to that one is a guy that looks exactly like the other guy and gives us another look. So then I just laughing my ass off and driving around in circles in the parking lot.

By the way, the lady turned out to be very white.

LOL, dude your story somehow triggered one of my own from a couple of years ago. When I was 16, I had a job working at a local grocery store. I was a cashier/bagger, and it just so happened that one day when I showed up at work blazed out of my head, I was bagging. For a person who's been bagging groceries for several months, it becomes routine to say "Paper or plastic?" to every person that steps up to the cashier. So that day that I showed up stoned, my boss (customer service manager) is helping what looks to me like a small, old, black man. My boss is unloading his groceries onto the counter for the cashier to scan. So I say "Paper or plastic?" But there's no response. So I say, "excuse me, paper or plastic, sir?" At this point, my boss abruptly halts the process of unloading his groceries, and starts waving above his head implying that I'd done something bad. He was standing behind the old black man, and the old black man couldn't see him making this motion to me. Now, I was pretty blazed, so I wasn't thinking particularly quickly. It took me about 30 seconds to realize my boss was upset because this old black man, was actually a woman. I was like "OH SHIT! I"M SORRY!"
Haha, I found that whole situation so funny. I carried the old woman's groceries to her car for her, and on the way there she scolded me for making such an offensive mistake. I did feel bad, but looking back on it it was pretty funny lol

[Plex420]

^ rofl dude back in like 3rd grade the vice principal ws like "WHAT YALL DID IS VERY BAD BUT./.....i think we can forgive you" sdo i was liek thankyou sir and she was liek what did you say i was lie sorry no i mean ma'am.lol keep in mnd this lafies like 300 lbs.literally.and im stoned so sorry if i make no sense

[MaidenStoner]

Originally Posted by metalstonerking

Another one...

So last night me and a friend (maidenstoner) are blazin in my dad's car and of course we get hungry as shit. So we goto Burger King and the inside is closed but the drive thru is open (I dunno why this always happens).

So I pull up and don't want to try and figure out who gets what change and all that so I'm like "Can we get like two orders?"

And for some reason I think she's Mexican so she says something and I'm like "does that mean yes?" And then she says it again and I go "So...like...we can?" This hapens about 6 times and my friend starts laughing and goes "Dude she just said 'sure' like 8 times." So then we both just start laughing and then I get excited because we can do two orders so then I start yelling my order at her and then continue laughing.

Then it's his turn to order and we're literally sitting there for 10 minutes trying to figure out how many chicken nuggets he wants. WE finally get through it and I pull into the lot to get a space. I pull in and the guy next to us is all like gangsta and he gives this weird ass look, so I start laughing and drive to another spot. And next to that one is a guy that looks exactly like the other guy and gives us another look. So then I just laughing my ass off and driving around in circles in the parking lot.

By the way, the lady turned out to be very white.

what an outstanding evening it truley was. best part was the evil gangsta guy and his ho next to us, and i took one look at him and started laughing, needless to say he did not like that.

[potpotpottypot]

wow i just read all 9 pages of those stories and i was lamo the hole time

a few week ago me and my friend were out back of my house at like 3 am toaking some cronic he had a foily i was using my bong so were both pretty high weve smoked most of a 1/10 of some fine frosted herb and my little brother and my friend who knew he was going to be drug tested for a job were inside so the fucking decide to turn the lights on outback and they didnt go on right away cuz theyre those damn motion sensor lights so we get up to pack the reast of the dime into the foily trash the bong water and go inside the lights turn on and i thought it was my mom so i was freeking out which made him freek out so we ferbreezed chewed some gum put the shit on the side of the house and walked into our garage and the door to the house was locked i was wearing gym shorts and a undershirt so i didnt have keys or a cell neither did my friend so were outside freeking out cuz we think my mom saw us but it ended up being my friend and little bro tring to freek us out

this thread should be make sticky

[Heinous Anus]

Yea, I was at a friend's house with a bunch of other people. We were all hitting on the bong, drinking whiskey, when all of a sudden the munchies hit me really bad.
I went searching in the kitchen for something to eat and set my sights on this can of corned beef hash. I kept asking people for the can opener, but no one would answer me. So, I grabbed a knife and started hacking at it. Then, it just kinda went blank on me. Next thing I remember I was half way through the can, stab holes everywhere, when I came down again, really hard...missed, the can and straight through my hand. (Between my thumb and index finger, so no bones were hit.)
I didn't feel a thing. I tried to lift my hand up, but realized that I couldn't. I looked down and saw a knife sticking into my hand a little bit of blood coming out. I just asked for someone to come over. And the one half-way sober guy yells, "Jesus Christ!" Thats when I realized I had nailed my own hand to the table. (Pretty ironic choice of words he used, since I had just put a metal stake in my hand.)
He came over there, and tried to pull out, but couldn't. So, he had to rock the knife back and forth, til it finally came loose. Once he yanked it out, a little geyser of blood came forth and they went to grab a towel for me to wrap my hand in. After that, I just sat back on the couch, hit the bong a few more times, had a couple hit of Jack Daniels, and crashed out.
When, I woke up, I completely forgot what had happend and was wondering why a blood soaked towel was on my hand. I took it off, and held up my hand only to see light shining through the hole. Then, I said to myself "Ooohh yeaaah...now, I remember."
It was too late for me to get stitches, so I let it heal on its own. Not too big of a scar either. But, funny story to tell when someone asks about it.

[J Dylan]

I'm extremely pleased with the turnout of this thread, lol

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by Heinous Anus

Yea, I was at a friend's house with a bunch of other people. We were all hitting on the bong, drinking whiskey, when all of a sudden the munchies hit me really bad.
I went searching in the kitchen for something to eat and set my sights on this can of corned beef hash. I kept asking people for the can opener, but no one would answer me. So, I grabbed a knife and started hacking at it. Then, it just kinda went blank on me. Next thing I remember I was half way through the can, stab holes everywhere, when I came down again, really hard...missed, the can and straight through my hand. (Between my thumb and index finger, so no bones were hit.)
I didn't feel a thing. I tried to lift my hand up, but realized that I couldn't. I looked down and saw a knife sticking into my hand a little bit of blood coming out. I just asked for someone to come over. And the one half-way sober guy yells, "Jesus Christ!" Thats when I realized I had nailed my own hand to the table. (Pretty ironic choice of words he used, since I had just put a metal stake in my hand.)
He came over there, and tried to pull out, but couldn't. So, he had to rock the knife back and forth, til it finally came loose. Once he yanked it out, a little geyser of blood came forth and they went to grab a towel for me to wrap my hand in. After that, I just sat back on the couch, hit the bong a few more times, had a couple hit of Jack Daniels, and crashed out.
When, I woke up, I completely forgot what had happend and was wondering why a blood soaked towel was on my hand. I took it off, and held up my hand only to see light shining through the hole. Then, I said to myself "Ooohh yeaaah...now, I remember."
It was too late for me to get stitches, so I let it heal on its own. Not too big of a scar either. But, funny story to tell when someone asks about it.

and that...

is disgusting. lol

[Heinous Anus]

Disgusting, but awesome!

It happened like 2 years ago anyway. The only real interesting tale of stoned adventures. Well...I'm sure I have more...just can't remember 'em.

[J Dylan]

Stoner adventures don't have to be as excited as getting impaled. Honestly, in the time that I get high and the time that I come down, there's always one rediculous/stupid/funny/embarrassing thing that happens. Whether I'm alone, or with people... it'll happen. An hour ago I kept walking between the bathroom and my computer, and every time I got to the bathroom I'd forget what I went there for. After like 8 or 9 trips back and forth, I finally realized I kinda needed to drain the dragon. lol

[J Dylan]

Today, i was high in spanish. the professor kept calling me "El Diablo." I didn't figure out why until i saw my face in the mirror while I was washing my hands after class. I brought a whole new meaning to blood-shot.

[Rampede]

Hmm, thats a tough one...ive done many stupid things while high. Well, friday night i had some bubblegum and my homeboy came over, well we where tokin yah know...all good...and then we had a hit off (for those of you that dont know thats like a hitting contest on the bong) and he did one pretyty impressive and showed me up, and im the one that taught him to rip a bong...so im like FUCK THAT so i took this HNUGE ENORMOUS hit and puked all over the floor....all my weed ramen got puked up lmao....and then i took a half a gallon of dawn dishsoap and poored iit on the floor and then took 15 gallons of water and poured it on the fllooor, took my carpet broom (its a thingy wityh thick ass rubber teeth to sweet the carpet) and then i was scrubbing...then the fucking carpet was rising off the floor...it like melted the glue or sum shit. then my parents came home and the floor was sopping we so i went and used a mop ringer outter to ring out towels i was using to dry the floor...well when i was all done..i tripped and spilled the mop bucket...lets just say it resulted in me buying new carpet for the living room...peace yalll