Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[my name is june]

not that funny butyesterday i desided i wanted choclate milk so i got out hersy syrup and mil and poor the milk in a glass then started to squeeze the choclate in and i was doing it from pretty high up and i was watching the syrup leave the bottle and go into the milk witch fasinated me and i sat there for a good 10 minutes and then realized i had filled the cub halfway full of chocalate.....little strong but still good

[DravenCFR]

Originally Posted by Cali Ounces

back before i cut down a bit on smoking i used to leave my keys in my car door. like i would lock the door on the outside and just leave my keys in the doorlock. it was pretty funny until i kept doing it enough to where it made me cut down

dude, like 3 daze ago we got ripped off some Crip. goodtimez, but the next AM, my girl comes over and wakes me up telling me my keyz are in my apt door. all night. keys 2 both my cars &the apt. IDK, it was fucked up. coulda been bad.

[Ktwizzy]

needed paper towles, so i took off the top to it and forgot i had it in my hand.

its still in my room and my moms searchin for it

[Draketh]

So I'm watching grandmas boy, and think about going out to get some food. I was like well I'm watching a movie so I'll just get something here, get back to the couch and eat so I can finish the movie. So I get up, get a ton of food, come back and sit down and just start smashing.

Like 30 minutes later when I was done eating I realised I never unpaused the movie.

What....The....Fuck

[hurryupandwait]

haha, or when im watching a movie and have to rewind it 38934 times because i STILL wasnt paying attention to what was going on
when im with friends its like this "you know what the hell is going on? (in the movie?)
"no hahah"

[Reddy Johnston]

after i hit a couple bowls couple days again i was going out to get some munchies and i took 10 mintues trying to lock my house with my car keys instead of the house key screaming at the door "WHY WONT YOU GO IN!?!?!"

[ADVOR]

Got on the roof of an elementary school at 10:00pm.

Nothing else you really need to know, except for police were involved.

[PrimaryLotus]

that was a fun night till we got fucked over.

[Goatphish]

My entire dat today was supposed tp revolve around the 1/8th in my pocket, the RooR on the table, and the $50 gift gard to pappadeauxs. Crawfish homie.

Well, one of the buddies and I planned to toke, then eat. Simple, right?

I dont really know what happned, but now, I just got back in the door from a fucking 2 hours drive back from some hicktown in B.F.E., not only that, no fucking giftcard anymore. I never got my crawfish....

Call is ADD of being sidetracked, whatever it is, thou art an motherfucker.

[Mindless~!~?]

Ok, here is a really fucking retarded one.

Last year of high school,

I had a exam on friday, for my L.A, last exam of the year, i did nothing to prepaire, but 2 days before i decided to wake and back, well it ended up i had a quiz, so i do the quiz and turns out i amd a genous while baked.

So i figure that i will toke alil' before the exam only 1 bowl off of my one hitter, gets me nice and buzzed though, enough to get confuzzled over things though, well when i get into the lab i sit by my first mate and he has not toked and the computers we seem to be using are the Macs i know shit all about Macs takes me 20 min to pull up microsoft word, then the teacher hands out our booklets and I.D's.

I then opend up the booklet to get a crazy present, the exam was a essay on influential (Sp?) things in peoples life... well the good ol' guy i am i come up with the idea of Marijuana hahahah... now i figured because my teacher is a little bit con on the subject it will spark his brain when he reads it... well i still have yet to find out about it or my mark and i cant remember what i wrote.


Because I wrote my final L.A Essay, ABOUT MARIJUANA... STONED!!!

[upn'smoke]

awhile ago I made a light bulb vap and was smoking out of it and after like two hits i threw it at my wall without really thinking, and i was like "why the fuck did i just do that?" and i was super bummed that i lost all the weed that was in it

[Mindless~!~?]

Originally Posted by upn'smoke

awhile ago I made a light bulb vap and was smoking out of it and after like two hits i threw it at my wall without really thinking, and i was like "why the fuck did i just do that?" and i was super bummed that i lost all the weed that was in it

Hahah, one talented sucker you are, i cant say much more for myself though .

I was hitting my vap worked good, but i dont know fully how to use it, like i kept crisping my weed and it would tast like burnt pizza, so when i was done i was unscrewing the cap off and the whole bulb detatched from the metal threds, I mean what the fuck, how does that happen its weird like making a triangle fit in a box of chips.

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by Draketh

So I'm watching grandmas boy, and think about going out to get some food. I was like well I'm watching a movie so I'll just get something here, get back to the couch and eat so I can finish the movie. So I get up, get a ton of food, come back and sit down and just start smashing.

Like 30 minutes later when I was done eating I realised I never unpaused the movie.

What....The....Fuck

haha, that's fucking awesome man.

+rep

now for my most recent Mistake

Driving down a little sideroad with a few buddies-- I'm in the passenger seat.

You know we be blazin a bowl. Bubbler style.

The bowl's cashed, so I take my bubbler, and roll down the window so i can ash it outside of the car. Keep in mind, we're still in motion at about 25mph (like i said, small side road) and i reach my hands out the window, get my head level with the bowl... and try to blow it out from above.

Well, i started having some technical difficulties. The cashed bowl wasn't cashed enough that it was loose... so i had to spend some time trying to get it out. For what i'd say was about 30 seconds, i was blowing as hard as i could from above the bowl, just about a foot away from the car, leaning out through the window.

All of a sudden, *WHACK!!*

Branch!

or at least, the smallest possible extension of a tree capable of being deemed a branch.

branch nailed me on the side of the face and scratched me pretty brutally across the left side of my face as it dragged across with the tension from the high speed bend i was putting it through.

i come back into the car, and everybody's just going about things as if nothing's happened. nobody even noticed what just happened to me.

suddenly my buddy who's driving turns his head to say something to me, and notices the thin gash across the left side of my face.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he says.

"I just got branch raped." I say.

"Well what the fuck does that mean?" he says.

"It means that I was trying to cash the bowl, then a frickin branch smacked me in the face, and now my glass bubbler's laying about 100 yards behind us shattered all over the street. That's what it fucking means"

at this point pretty much everybody in the car burst out laughing at me, and I was forced to swallow down my sorrow and appreciate the hilarity of the event in the eyes of others.

funny as hell now-- my friends even helped me rebuy my bubbler... but this fucking cut on the side of my face still isn't gone. (it doesn't look brutal or anything, but I've gotten shitloads of questions about it and i've responded to them all with "Tiger."

people just laugh and then seem to forget that they really didn't find out what happened to me.

[Cakey]

Haha, well I have another one. It doesn't beat it when I drank piss and bong water on the same night....but it's close. So....

It's Friday night...my new scale just came in that I ordered...so I test it by buying an 8th for the weekend...well I weigh it like 100 times haha so I finally get around to smoking a new strain that's in my town..nice fruity stuff...well it knocks me on my ass...I take like 4 huge rips out of my Illy and it kills me...well there was a plastic bottle next to me...you know like the gallon jugs...since my appt. has shitty ass water..well me being a high ass hippy watching the stars on my porch I begin to burn it...and What the Fuck Happens!! The whole thing catches and I can't but it out...so I throw it ina little fire pit we have on my porch haha I know it's soo ghetto..me and my roomy made it and I sit there and watch it burn...after it's all done I go pack another bowl and forget about it.

So now fastforward to the next morning...I wake up have some bomb ass cereal..I think it was like Captain Crunch damn that shit was good...then I go outside for my morning joint and I see a melted gallon jug so I go inside wake up my roommate Robby and I begin to yell at him for burning plastic on out little porch...we argue then I remember that I did it...WOOPS! haha o well we rolled a blunt instead since he wanted to toke and we both didn't have work that day so we chilled and hung out good day

[Palmer Eldritch]

I never thought I'd have to post in this thread I'm usually quite aware of things even after a heavy toking session.

I just got done smoking the last of my chronic and decided to make some noodles. Noodles got cooked and I was about to pour them and the water into a colander. I don't know what the fuck I was looking at but I decided to pour the water out before I even got to the sink... leaving my left hand and feet burnt to shit from a few quarts of boiling water. Your reaction when getting burnt is to throw whatever is in your hands and I lost most of my noodles in the sink as the calander and pot got hurled through the air. I have to cook more now

damn my hand hurts