Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[Draketh]

I just touched a light switch with a dripping wet hand, got a pretty good jolt, my heart is racing.

[Draketh]

Originally Posted by omnitool

So I was on the road in my car (a heavy '77 junker benz). I was blazed out of my mind, driving with a bunch of my stoner friends. I was driving on this street, and went to change the station. after I changed the station I just kinda stared at the radio for a while. Then I heard this loud BANG! I look up and I've plowed through a fence and I'm in somebodies backyard. Everybody in the car's freaking out. So I hit it in reverse, and get the hell out of there. I guess nobody was around, cuz I never got in trouble for it.

Holy shit. If anything like that ever happened to me, I would stop driving faded. I normally drive better when I'm high though. Thats insane, thank god you didn't kill anyone. If you were on a main road or the highway that situation could have easily turned deadly.

[Mindless~!~?]

Originally Posted by omnitool

So I was on the road in my car (a heavy '77 junker benz). I was blazed out of my mind, driving with a bunch of my stoner friends. I was driving on this street, and went to change the station. after I changed the station I just kinda stared at the radio for a while. Then I heard this loud BANG! I look up and I've plowed through a fence and I'm in somebodies backyard. Everybody in the car's freaking out. So I hit it in reverse, and get the hell out of there. I guess nobody was around, cuz I never got in trouble for it.

Thats not cool, my mom has a 77 benz not a junker though, and my bro drives it alot, also he went through a fence in his own car and this guy kept calling to our house asking for him, and i would be like he is out right now could i take a message, oh yeah tell your brother he drove threw my fence.

Also my bro doesnt stop ranting on me about smoking weed, it gets me alittle angry that he will go and drink 2 flats of beer after telling me weed will ruin my life.

[Draketh]

Originally Posted by Mindless~!~?

Also my bro doesnt stop ranting on me about smoking weed, it gets me alittle angry that he will go and drink 2 flats of beer after telling me weed will ruin my life.

Tell him to get his facts straight before talking shit. Drinking alcohol is worse for you than smoking weed ever will be. As long as you don't let your life revolve around weed. But then again the same can be said for alcohol. I'd eaither tell him to shut the fuck and not open his mouth again until he lets you show him the truth about cannabis.

[Mindless~!~?]

Yeah, its a long story though,

plus my cuz, daily weed smoker, and a codeene user, dont know how to spell it, but he extracts it from over the counter pills, you know what i mean, is such a ass to me about it, he moved here from b.c i blazed him up 4 of my own jays over the term of 2 weeks, and he blazes one of his with me, and then sells me a gram, then he tryed to invite me to a 1 ounce joint circle, it was my bro's friend i havent seen in awile they are all around 2 years older than me so 20, and they were like well he doesnt have enough to pitch witch was 5 grams.

let it behold i ask him for another gram and he says no, i dont want to supply to you, i explain i am dropping all my current contacts because some of them are selling laced shit, he just says no i dont want to get into this with you, you still need to find another job and shit like that. Then my brother starts with oh i dont want you to smoke weed.

When i smoked it for the 12 times or more that i did, i just lost controll of myself, and i couldnt even tell my body were to walk it just walked where ever it wanted to. I just said to him, then get the fuck controll of yourself, its not the weed its you, you just dont have the will power to think strait.

My birth mom has Bipolar, so is that a case of any of this, and i just found out recently that she smokes to, i saw it comeing though, i have the same persinality as her, just wana relax and live in a log cabin.

so yeah, thats it.

[chipcago]

LMFAO "He drove through my fence!"

[Mindless~!~?]

Originally Posted by chipcago

LMFAO "He drove through my fence!"

man he got out of his car after, and passed out on the lawn

[SunJMH]

Smoked 2 bowls before my dull retail job before i quit...buddy offered to smoke me up 30 minutes before and i said yes of course. I would never smoke before a serious job...anyways. Turns out the CEO came that day as well as 6 managers. I didnt really smell of it and used some visine but the CEO came over to shoot some shit wiht me about an hour later. I talked about the DUMBEST shit but the guy loved me. I was pretty good off these bowls. I literally talked to him a good 5 minutes about how they should carry hot pockets and how black sabbath was "Just.....just a great...great band" I bascially talked about food and music with him the whole time. Turns out he gave me a $25 gift card to the place for my attitude and since i got secret shopped earlier and got a 100% (easy as hell in retail, nothing to be too proud of. usually get put in a drawing for a giftcard if you get a 100). Never did that again, was my 2nd and last time at the job. I bought some black sabbath and headphones with my gift card. I felt like a dumbass at first,but i still did my job well, it was just a busy week during college and who was i to resist free mj? oh well , made 25 more dollars for being an idiot at a stupid job, go figure.

[Mindless~!~?]

Originally Posted by SunJMH

Smoked 2 bowls before my dull retail job before i quit...buddy offered to smoke me up 30 minutes before and i said yes of course. I would never smoke before a serious job...anyways. Turns out the CEO came that day as well as 6 managers. I didnt really smell of it and used some visine but the CEO came over to shoot some shit wiht me about an hour later. I talked about the DUMBEST shit but the guy loved me. I was pretty good off these bowls. I literally talked to him a good 5 minutes about how they should carry hot pockets and how black sabbath was "Just.....just a great...great band" I bascially talked about food and music with him the whole time. Turns out he gave me a $25 gift card to the place for my attitude and since i got secret shopped earlier and got a 100% (easy as hell in retail, nothing to be too proud of. usually get put in a drawing for a giftcard if you get a 100). Never did that again, was my 2nd and last time at the job. I bought some black sabbath and headphones with my gift card. I felt like a dumbass at first,but i still did my job well, it was just a busy week during college and who was i to resist free mj? oh well , made 25 more dollars for being an idiot at a stupid job, go figure.

right on ya man


i was swinging the screen and frame for my window trying to fly, and then i hit my light bulb on my ceiling (i knew i couldnt fly, but it was worth a try right?)

[Cosmic Charlie.]

me and my friends went to get some munch the other night , and we went the 24 hour place near my friends house , and this chick (we think) served us , and i went to buy ciggarettes and she questioned my id so i pulled out my police sanction and showed her that , so she calls the manager out and tells me to leave so i grab my ciggarettes and run, then after the dude has stoped chasing me , we went back and asked her if she was a man just to piss her off!
later on that night a freind of ours said he saw police there and shit , and they heard my name mentioned.
shit!

and......

Originally Posted by Mindless~!~?

Also my bro doesnt stop ranting on me about smoking weed, it gets me alittle angry that he will go and drink 2 flats of beer after telling me weed will ruin my life.

same problem here dude , me and my brother arent talking any more because of it.
the other night me and my brother kicked the shit out of eachother in the middle of my town at 1 in the morning , he'd just been out getting drunk as hell and i was baked and we went to the 24 hr petrol garage , and he was there , and he started shouting at me , so i pushed him over this curb and then the fight ensued.

[ISTANDALONE]

me and my friends went to get some munch the other night , and we went the 24 hour place near my friends house , and this chick (we think) served us , and i went to buy ciggarettes and she questioned my id so i pulled out my police sanction and showed her that , so she calls the manager out and tells me to leave so i grab my ciggarettes and run, then after the dude has stoped chasing me , we went back and asked her if she was a man just to piss her off!
later on that night a freind of ours said he saw police there and shit , and they heard my name mentioned.
shit!

shit like that is what gives potheads a bad name.
prolly the dumbest stoned thing i've done is wait for a stop sign to turn green. don't know how long i was there for, but 3 or 4 minutes at least.

[Dalax]

That's funny Istandalone, in my town you wouldn't have been there for 30 seconds before you got pulled over.

[huecotoph]

So one time, i was at this rock climbing comp and they had some wicked cool raffle prizes, and you got 5 tickets for $20. Well, the raffle was held at the end and i had hurt my back pretty bad so i went outside and smoked a J with some girl i was climbin with then came back in. Well, they started the raffle and I'm sitting there hold ing my tickets in my hand wondering how i can win anything if i have my tickets. So, i start FREAKING out and like having a panic attack asking everybody how im supposed to win anything if i dont have my tickets. Well the girl i was smoking with kept telling me that it was okay cuz there was 2 of each ticket and that they took the identical ticket so that theyd call the number on the one that i was holding. Well needless to say i didnt understand her and i just kept acting all retarded and obsessive about it. I finally figured out what she was telling me like an hour later.... i felt like such a dumbass ... but its still a great story and nobody lets me live it down

[Reddy Johnston]

Bump.

[Captainjack]

One of the funniest stoner things actually did not happen to me...My roommate and I had puffed down 2 blunts of kush and he decided to drive to the Taco Bell. So we go through, we both order all of our food and everything and drive out and he is so hungry he parks in the parking lot to eat right by a median by the drive through. A minute or 2 goes by and we start eating, as I'm chilling I see he flip out drop his taco and throw the car into drive and start revving up the median. I'm sitting here and I go D what the hell are you doing man, calm down. He then smiles at me and acts stupid and says "Shit man I thought I had to pull forward in the drive thru line ha ha my bad". Was hilarious, while eating a taco he dropped in and thru the car into drive to move forward in the line.
-JACK-