Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[juicyjay]

Ok here goes. I feel like an idiot. A couple hours ago me and my buddies boxed my bathroom because my rents arent home, so after they leave (im still pretty high) I go sit down at my computer to listen to some music. Now, my moniter and tower are one the same table which is about about waist level and i always use headphones to listen to music so i plug them into the headphone jack on the front of my computer. These are a good pair of headphones too, the ones that wrap around the whole of your ear. So im listening to music and i realize my gf said she would call at 8 and its about 7 55 but thats okay because i have a direct view of the phone base and when it rings lights flash so i wont have to turn down the music while im waiting. Also i had a water bottle opened in front of me,and the headphone wires were kind of tangled around it. About 10 mins later i look at the base and the lights are flashing, so i go to push away from the desk in my wheelie computer chair and as i go i forget that i had on headphones and i pushed away pretty fast and my fucking head get pulled back by the cords, i fall off my chair right on my back and to top it off when the headphone cords pulled it tipped the watter which spilt and the water went all over my shorts and some of my shirt. i felt like a moron at this point, so i get up brush myself off and realize the god dam phone is beside the mouse

p.s sorry for the long post

[lamorea]

haha one night i was over at my buddies and i had just got a 1/2 O, so we smoked a 3 pap with resin all over the paper, a few BT's of hash, and then another few BT's of oil, then a big fat blunt.

then another one of my friends comes over there and asks me if i wanna go chill and smoke weed with him, so i go over there, he picks up about 4 grams, we go out on his step and smoke it all.. then about 5 minutes later i turn and look at him and go, lets smoke that weed now man. and hes just like, what the fuck, we just smoked it...
and i could swear to god that we didn't... but the next day i realized how much i actually did smoke.... yea it isnt that funny now, but it was funny when it happened.

[fiendface]

lol one time me and some friends blazed and decided to make some grilled cheese. when we were eating it, it tasted really funny and we were like wtf. we then realized that we accidently spread yogurt instead of butter on the bread

[Reggin]

Haha, well, back in HS me a 2 guys were toking up and went outside to have a cigarette behind this shed that wasn't too far away. And these little kids were playing and they kept staring at us....so me and another kid decided to moon them (don't worrry - I don't do that anymore, LoL). Well, their fucking dad comes out with a BASEBALL BAT. and destroys this fort thing we built behind the shed to chill under...so we run to my house...and we're hiding in my room as the cops were driving by for like 3 hours....long story...but I was a dumbass.

[TBH]

I was baked at my house a few weeks ago and went to the bathroom and i noticed that the toilet was starting to overflow. I started freaking out trying to fix it and didnt even think to turn the water off. So basically i ended up completely breaking the toilet lol.
This other time my friend was driving around baked and heard a siren in some song. He freaked out and pulled over for like 5 minutes.

[#1toker]

my dumbist thing i have ever done stoned was shot my self in the hand with a bb gun it was a hand gun and i thought the safty was on so i keep pullin the tirger a little at a time and finey it shot me in the hand i woke up the nexted day like what the fuck happened to my hand

[Cali Ounces]

back before i cut down a bit on smoking i used to leave my keys in my car door. like i would lock the door on the outside and just leave my keys in the doorlock. it was pretty funny until i kept doing it enough to where it made me cut down

[claytonallen420]

so me anf four other guys are smoking out thus dude new bmw his folks got him. we get real stoned and go to taco bell. between the four of us we wind up ordering $63 worth the taco bell. I ate t bell for 4 days

also, imm holdind 3/4 of a elbow of green for a friend of mine( for real it wasnt mine) and i get pulled over and i was high and the car was searched. the cop finds the nearly 1 pound of green + my own stash. I thought...huumm, fucked on this one. NOPE, cop just takes the pot and says" this will make a nice addition to my stash" gives me a ticket for speeding, and says" have a nice day Mr. Allen''

[bigballer9381]

okay i have two pretty long but funny stories. The first ones the short one

so this was a yesterday and we have some sick ass dro right now. We blazed up about four bowls between me and my friend and we are baked. Well this is when me and my friend are staying at his girlfriends house because we got in trouble at our house. So we went out on the four wheeler to smoke and when we came back my friend passed out on the bed. Well her mom decided that it would be a great idea to give me a lecture. She starts talking and i cant help but laugh at her because im high. So she begins to say something like "you need to get your life together and fly straight." I than proceed to flap my arms like a bird and go "fly high?" She knew after that that me and my buddy were blazed. Funny story telling everyone though.

Okay this next story is kinda serious because involves cops and running and all that. But okay me and a couple buddies are hanging out at my friends house having a couple of beers and playing xbox 360. We decide we should take a walk a tote up a bit. So we walk down his road in his neighborhood to a house thats being built. We decide to hot box what is going to be a bathroom but now is just a plain small room. We are blazed after a couple of bowls and all of a sudden lights pull up. Now this is a big neighborhood my friend lives in and you dont just see cars like that back there. So we look and my friend just got done saying "Im soooo high." than my other friend goes man i think thats a cop. I go no fucking way. Sure enough that bitch yells stop. Well we are all high except for one of my friends because he doesnt smoke. So the non-high one jumps out the window and runs straight to my friends house and is home within 1 minuet. Me and my high friends run out the back door and into the woods and hide. The cop has all this time to call for backup and all this stuff. So we are sitting there hiding and all of a sudden the cop says "canine units are being released! canine units are being released!" Im like thats the fucking dogs and we all split up and run. My friend runs straight to his house where my other friend is waiting so hes home. My other friend runs away and gets home 45 minuets later. My dumb ass runs straight through a million peoples yards about 5 miles from the highway and i ran there high as fuck at 4 am in the morning. There were dogs, helicopters, and cops on four-wheelers out looking for us no joke. So i walk to the highway which was 5 miles. Than i walk 5 more miles to a shopping mart where i called my friend to come pick me up using a pay phone. All in all it took me 4 hours to get home. Def. one of the craziest moments ive ever experienced.

[Ugyatag]

Background: I'm back from college and I'm not quite used to coming in and telling my parents I'm back when I get home late at night.

I come in last night around 3am, blazed as hell and knock on my parents door, tell them I'm home. Usually my mom just says goodnight and I leave, but my dad says 'How was the movie?' which caught me off guard so I respond 'pretty bad, so we smoked a ton afterwards.' I think we were both so stunned that neither of us said a word.

They know that I've smoked before, and are okay with it so long as I'm safe, but dont know the extent of it.

[GreenLady36]

a few stupid things:

sitting at a stop sign for a while thinking its a red light

opening the refrigerator when I really wanted to open a kitchen cabinet

Misplacing the roach that I just grabbed out of the ashtray (did this many times)

Hiding weed from myself (done this a few times)

Probably the worst was when I was in college. For one, I used to get high so much that I didn't realize that the spring semester had started and I came to my classes a week late. When I get to my French I class a week after it had begun I am high and I think the teacher keeps dropping the f-bomb but she was really saying a la fac (which can sound like a la fuck) I remember being totally bewildered and was cracking up inside. I hated my French class because it was so boring so I would skip class and get blazed in the football field parking lot. I did this so much that one day I realized that there was only a week left of French class. I made some excuse about being sick and my prof let me make up some tests and take the final. I ended up getting an A in the course!!

[bdlb5505]

ok so this one time me and some of my firends were doin salvia. so long story short i took the salvia hit and was immediatly fucked up. so then i go to spark up a bowl of weed in my friends bong. so i packed it in took the hit cleared and then for some reason i kept my mouth on the bong and exhaled through the bong spewing bong water everywhere.

[Ktwizzy]

Originally Posted by J-Smoove

Back when I was in the 11th grade I was smoking my parents bowl (They didnt know I was smoking weed) and I knocked it off the bench, breaking it right in the middle of the chamber. After Dropping it I was instantly in anger I punched a hole in the wall then realized that was the 2nd mistake : A Broken bong and a hole in the wall.

Best one hahahahhahaha

[chipcago]

I smoked probably one of the longest-lasting bowls of my life, afterwards I nicknamed it the "Never-ending bowl."

I decided I'd make my lunch for the next day, and put it in the fridge--what I always do. So I look in the inside fridge for bread, and lo and behold, there's no bread. I think "there's probably some in the outside fridge." So I went into the garage, and I opened the freezer door...



...


What the fuck am I here for again?

...

I sat there for probably a minute and a half, just listening to the sound the freezer was making--a low-pitched constant drone, and a steady flow of cold air on my face and torso.

...

I laugh, think "god that bowl was huge," and decide to call it quits and go back inside.

As soon as I walk inside, I think "BREAD!" to myself, and I repeat the thought in my mind until I get to the freezer and have the bread in my hand.

It was funny.

[Ktwizzy]

well i got this like gate lock for my door today ( i have a swing door) and i lost the little metal pole and i found it and i forgot where my pipe was so i asked my bro and i immediatley lost the little metal pole again

fuck