Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[Talon]

i was high and was at my friends house taking a shower, i walked out of the bathroom because i forgot i was naked. i went into the living room and sat down next to his parents and sister. they were all looking at me like WTF, my friend was in fucking shock.

i was a taco bell and there was a bar-like seating thing, and i stood there for 20 mins wondering why the fuck wont they try to take my order, when i noticed that the counter was 10 feet in front of me lol.

[slipknotbiker88]

The dumbest thing I've ever done blazed, that I can remember, was when my brother and I found my Dad's fireworks stash. We were wicked high and decided to search his room for his other stash (weed) and stumbled across his fireworks instead. So we decided to take the biggest one we could find, it was about the size of a hand grenade, and took it out back. It was pitch black out, about 11pm, and we lit it. We didn't back up far enough so when it went off we were blinded and had chunks of firecracker in our teeth. We couldn't hear anything for a good 2 hours, and we ran around trying to find our way back into the house before the neighbors called the cops.

[just_blaze_it]

Originally Posted by slipknotbiker88

The dumbest thing I've ever done blazed, that I can remember, was when my brother and I found my Dad's fireworks stash. We were wicked high and decided to search his room for his other stash (weed) and stumbled across his fireworks instead. So we decided to take the biggest one we could find, it was about the size of a hand grenade, and took it out back. It was pitch black out, about 11pm, and we lit it. We didn't back up far enough so when it went off we were blinded and had chunks of firecracker in our teeth. We couldn't hear anything for a good 2 hours, and we ran around trying to find our way back into the house before the neighbors called the cops.

ahahahaha. havent laughed so hard in ages. reminds me of the time i bought an illegal fire-work from some dodgy black guy at the beach. set-it off and i swear it was like fucking day-light for like a split-second. cops ended up down there cos there was a "bomb" scare. ahahahaha. after 12 reefers you can imagine what a head-trip this was. LOL.

[jeddodrummer]

fuckin every time im high i always lose like all my weed and pieces....

then when were high at my house me and my friend ryan allways stay up the latest... so while like 3 ppl r sleeping all we fuckin do is throw shit... now honestly i dk y but we always throw random shit...cheetos... etc.... but yeah we always bury my friend pueo in them... classic

and me and my friends go to mcdonalds...and steal napkin despensers... and pretty much when we order there... were always blazed... so they just think were normal.

thats every day shit tho... just the other day this happened/... i can never rmember ne thing more than a month ago or so.

well we were all walking with about a gallon of alcohol... and none of us r eighteen... we just got done tagging this place and were goin thru a parking lot when all of a sudden this fuckin yellow car comes out of nowhere.

i actually knew the dude driving but he fuckin like ran my friend over (or tried cuz he was stoned and thot it was funny) and the dude that got hit had all the alcohol. luckily my friend jumped and rolled off the side of the car... no booze lost... but he broke the dudes cars mirror... so it was all pretty funny. thats about all i remember from recently...peace out

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by Johnny

OK, I was gonna do a long-ass story, but I think I'll try to make it quick.


It was thursday afternoon, about a month ago. I had cruised on the way home from school, it was a sunny day, and I'm feeling good. My parents were out, and my kid brother was zoned out playing WoW or Runescape or something. I decided that tonight I was going to fix this old waterbottle bong I had that had broken a long time ago (I don't have any wet glass). I quickly collected all the necessary parts and went out to the garage. After looking through the varied selection of glues, epoxies, and adhesives, I selected a quick drying variety of liquid nails, as I was hoping to have the piece ready for that night.

-`~Fast-Forward~`-

It's 10 o clock, I'm in the basement and my parents are upstairs watching Law and Order. The bong is filled and packed. The TV is on, blaring nonsense into the room. I pick up the makeshift contraption and walk through the door into the laundry room. Familiar with the routine, I spark, milk, and clear. Amazing. I feel my head drop. I blow my hit into the dryer, and shut the door fast. The theory is the smoke will travel up the air vent to outside, and I think it works.

I start to feel a strange sensation of pressure on my jaw hinge, but it happened the other time I smoked this stuff, so I figure it must be okay. I take hit after hit, and the bowl seems to never dwindle. I start taking breaks between hits, and losing track of time, wandering around aimlessly holding the bong. Suddenly I feel something strange, in my head. I shake it off and sit down. I feel heavy. The room tells me it is shaking, sputtering and spinning, but I do not see it. I realize that I'm gonna puke, and I don't know why. I din't really smoke that much, maybe a gram at most.

I vomit into the trash can, my brain reeling. I don't understand what's going on. It all comes in flashes. Suddenly I realize. Liquid Nails. What the fuck was I thinking!? Attatching a metal bowl with Liquid Nails? Oh damn, that's not good. I need 911. What if I die. Could it have burnt my lungs? What am I throwing up? I don't remember what I ate, maybe it's my spleen. Pain racks my stomach. I grab the phone, but I'm too impaired to dial.

I run upstairs, gagging. I tell my dad what happened ("I was smokin' pot!") and he makes the call. I lie on the couch, eyes closed, wondering what's going to happen, as I clutch a garbage bag. The ambulance comes. I'm taken away, and I need to sit up so I don't choke.

-Darkness-

I awake in a room. It is white. My dad is in the corner, weary and nodding off. As I slowly become aware, an orderly comes in, and gives me a saline IV. I hate needles, and my entire body cramps. I can't move, and my limbs twitch, and I'm afraid that I'm going to black out again. Somehow I find out that it is 5 in the morning. I relax, and find out they had needed to give me 4 doses of anti-nausea medicine to get me to stop retching. In a while, the doctor briefs me, and we go home. Immediatly upon returning home, I fall asleep, but not before realizing I still have a gram in my pocket, safe from harm.


The Punishment:
I'm grounded till the end of the school year
I lose my car for 3 weeks (1 week left)
My parents said they will turn me into the police, but that hasn't happened yet, thank God.

Thoughts?

Intense shit man. but i've got a question. did it really turn out that the adhesive and shit is what was causing your nausea and puking? because that feeling you described when you first started to tweak out was exactly what i always feel when i start to tweak out. the walking aimlessly back and forth holding the bong, the losing track of time. the having to sit down cause of how dizzy and high you feel, heart pounding fast. if that's the shit you were feeling, it was probably all in your head, man. but either way, i'm sure i would've freaked out too when i realized the thing about the adhesive.

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by Dazedandconfuse

Well one day I decided thatI would smoke a bowl then take a shower than smoke another. Well I smoked the first bowl and I was feelin pretty high so I turned on the water in the shower. I get in the shower and the water all of a sudden gets really hot like someone flusshed the toilet. So I wate that out then I get back in and then the water gets really cold. So I was like wtf so I wate that out and it gets really hot again, This kept happening I thought someone kept flushin the toilet to piss me off. So I ended up figuring out how long the water was hot for and how long it was cold for. It was like 6 seconds hot 5 warm 6 cold. Just picture someone getting in and out of the shower every six seconds. I was in the shower for like an hour. I get out and I realise the toilet is running and thats wat caused that whole thing (Its when the chain falls off the medal pole in the toilet). I felt like a dumbass.

LOL that's one of the funniest things I've ever read. i can't believe you analyzed the time spans between temp changes and showered accordingly to them. that's seriously an amazing story... +rep hahaha

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by WorkingPlacebos

haha dont know if i can top one above this

i just sparked my lighter when i reached for my soda

Originally Posted by rtejedasa

i don't get why that's so funny.

it's funny because he probably thought that his soda can was gonna be his bong, and was reaching for it without looking. he probably had a bowl sitting next to him and was already high. i actually thought it was pretty funny lol

edit: apologize for the triple post... i didn't even realize i was still posting in the same thread.

yes, i am indeed stoned.

[TheRisingSun]

Once my friends and I turned a pool into a gravity bong. Nothing special except we lost track of time and we were doing it for like 2 hours. 4 in the morning rolls around and we realize we all gotta go our separate ways and I'm gonna get a ride with my buddy Zach. Now the distance from my friends house to my destination is about 4 minutes away yet took over 15 because we were going 9 miles an hour on a road that has nothing but woods surrounding it. It felt like an eternity not to mention that it felt like we werent going anywhere.

Once I bartered a hogie in exchange for smoking with the chick at the wawa that made it cause I had no money.

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by jeddodrummer

fuckin every time im high i always lose like all my weed and pieces....

then when were high at my house me and my friend ryan allways stay up the latest... so while like 3 ppl r sleeping all we fuckin do is throw shit... now honestly i dk y but we always throw random shit...cheetos... etc.... but yeah we always bury my friend pueo in them... classic

and me and my friends go to mcdonalds...and steal napkin despensers... and pretty much when we order there... were always blazed... so they just think were normal.

thats every day shit tho... just the other day this happened/... i can never rmember ne thing more than a month ago or so.

well we were all walking with about a gallon of alcohol... and none of us r eighteen... we just got done tagging this place and were goin thru a parking lot when all of a sudden this fuckin yellow car comes out of nowhere.

i actually knew the dude driving but he fuckin like ran my friend over (or tried cuz he was stoned and thot it was funny) and the dude that got hit had all the alcohol. luckily my friend jumped and rolled off the side of the car... no booze lost... but he broke the dudes cars mirror... so it was all pretty funny. thats about all i remember from recently...peace out

ouch. i guess this means i'll have to be forgiven for a QUADRUPLE post... but i had to point that out, it was just too stupid. especially since he could've just said "and none of us are 21" and it still would've meant the same thing, since the situation was alcohol.

[garcia]

one time i was really blazed and making a smoothie out of all the random shit i could find in my freezer.

in goes ice cream, chocolate candy, caramel, bananas, and a fudgesicle. now i'm eating this shit and am so gone that i didn't even realize that i was eating chopped up wood from the stick of the popsicle! i had forgot to take it off the stick!

[D-Shiznit]

Once I smoked before court and only put visine in one eye.

[scrumper]

Okay,

So a few years ago, one night my friend Sherman and I decided to go smoke acouple of joints in the woods behind his house. After we finished, we decided to pack my bowl just for good measure. We were RIPPED. So like any twoo good stoners, we needed snacks. It just so happens that there is a Stop and Shop through the woods behind his house, so off we went.
I headed straight for the entemens raspberry danish and nesquick, my sherman got trapped by the ben and jerrys cooler (that thing is bad enough straight....imagine deciding among 30 flavors baked). So we each picked out like 2 pints and started to head out. We looked SOO high it wasnt even funny.
We were leaving the isle and because I wasnt looking I bumped into someone coming around the corner and dropped my stuff everywhere haha. I mean stuff went flying! So i started mumbling "oh im sorry!" and stuff and then I realised I had literally bumped into 3 fully dressed, on duty, mass state troopers .........

My brain exploded. I had a cashed pipe in my pocket......im carrying 2 pints of ice cream, 1 big ass danish, chips and chocolate milk. The conversation went as follows.

"Hey sorry about that officer........." - me

"Its okay. Just watch out where your going" -officer 1

"............" - us

"What are you guys doing with all this food?" - officer 2(its 2am by the way)

"Oh....umm we are just hungery" - me

"You are going to eat all of it?"- officer 1

"Why do you want some?" - sherman (i swear to god he said those exact words)

".................................................. ............." - all of us

"........you boys better be getting back"- officer 2

"okay goodnight.....sirs" - me

my heart is thumping a mile a minute........we get to the checkout and I hear one of them yell "HEY!" and start running towards us. I think about running because of the state of mind im in..........fight or flee!?

"you guys dropped this" he said, and handed me my fucking danish.

Best/worst thing ever.

[TokinBlue]

hahahhahaah why do you want some? hahahaha that made me lose it


woulda sucked if you took off hahah fucking danish, man i am in such a good mood

[Sir.TokeAlot]

Originally Posted by scrumper

Okay,

So a few years ago, one night my friend Sherman and I decided to go smoke acouple of joints in the woods behind his house. After we finished, we decided to pack my bowl just for good measure. We were RIPPED. So like any twoo good stoners, we needed snacks. It just so happens that there is a Stop and Shop through the woods behind his house, so off we went.
I headed straight for the entemens raspberry danish and nesquick, my sherman got trapped by the ben and jerrys cooler (that thing is bad enough straight....imagine deciding among 30 flavors baked). So we each picked out like 2 pints and started to head out. We looked SOO high it wasnt even funny.
We were leaving the isle and because I wasnt looking I bumped into someone coming around the corner and dropped my stuff everywhere haha. I mean stuff went flying! So i started mumbling "oh im sorry!" and stuff and then I realised I had literally bumped into 3 fully dressed, on duty, mass state troopers .........

My brain exploded. I had a cashed pipe in my pocket......im carrying 2 pints of ice cream, 1 big ass danish, chips and chocolate milk. The conversation went as follows.

"Hey sorry about that officer........." - me

"Its okay. Just watch out where your going" -officer 1

"............" - us

"What are you guys doing with all this food?" - officer 2(its 2am by the way)

"Oh....umm we are just hungery" - me

"You are going to eat all of it?"- officer 1

"Why do you want some?" - sherman (i swear to god he said those exact words)

".................................................. ............." - all of us

"........you boys better be getting back"- officer 2

"okay goodnight.....sirs" - me

my heart is thumping a mile a minute........we get to the checkout and I hear one of them yell "HEY!" and start running towards us. I think about running because of the state of mind im in..........fight or flee!?

"you guys dropped this" he said, and handed me my fucking danish.

Best/worst thing ever.

hahaha thats awesome!!! i woulda been scared as hell.....and your friend is hella funny "why do you want some?" lol hahahahahhahahaa sounds like somethin i would say

hmmm one time me and my friends got a bong together, around 3-4 grams, bong water and everything else.....but one thing.....A LIGHTER, by the time we realized we were sooo far from anyones house, about 6-7 miles from the nearest anything.....so yea, we wasted our time sooo much it sucked =(

[zalzal010]

funny stuff scrumper. That remind me of..

we got rolled one time - parked in a public park after hours. Cop comes up to the window, asks about my registration (which was unfortunately expired at the time), and asks what we're up to. We collectively responded that we were just chilling at an interesting park. I added in that we were eating donuts, while holding up a Krispy Kreme box (which was actually just the top box of a stack of about 6 which we had just lifted from a grocery store). At this point he starts chuckling, and goes "got a bit of the chronic goin on tonight have we?". I started forming the word "no" but somehow he heard "uh" and starts going "uhh uhhh uhhh dooyy!". Yes, thats right -- in the 'retarded' voice.

thats pretty much the best part. He hands us all our I.D's and rolls out. Didnt even want any donuts, can ya believe that?