Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[danwasbored]

eight tacos with supremo nachos? haha, nice!

- drank bong water
- went through a mcdonalds drive through ordering as a robot (they knew i was baked)

that's all i can really think of...

[Burned Haze]

one time i wanted tocos, well in my town toco bell is next to wendys, well i looked at wendys and headed towards toco bell, wlel i didnt make it there, i kinda parked my car and walked into wendys and was demanding tocos from them, it was so weird, im not suprised i wasnt called on by cops cause i must of sounded like a idiot.....

[formula]

I can't think of anything for myself right now, but one time when i was like 12 my big brother got soooo high and munched out on oreo ice cream the entire night, when he was done he cleaned up the bowl but instead of putting it in the cabinet he put it in the freezer, and he put the icecream in the cabinet. Lets just say my parents were NOT very happy the next morning.

[EssPea]

Originally Posted by metalstonerking

Hahahaha yes

Well, one time me and my cousin and a car full of people pulled up to Taco Bell, and the driver's just like "Alright, everyone just be cool." So everyone just goes through and orders acting like they're all normal, and then its my turn, so I jump up to the front and start yelling,

HOLA. ME LLAMO ENCHILADA. I'LL HAVE FUCKIN...

EIGHT TACOS.

AND SUPREMO NACHOS. WITH EXTRA SUPREMO.

Then there was an awkward pause and the lady was starting to say something and then I just blurt out DO NOT FORGET MY COLA Beavis style.

That's like the funniest shit i've ever read lol

[syntax13]

Originally Posted by AimedForDeath

The other day me and Floydian got so high off our 4ft two bowl bong that we ended up overfilling the bong with water, thus shooting water through our bowl and weed packed in the bowl, then in the scramle to fix that we knocked over "The snork" another one of my bongs, no water spilled. We thought it was empty, but floydian turned it over and water poured ALL over, and scrambling with that lead us to dropping my grinder filled with some bud and a lot of keif, into a glass of water, then Floydian rushed to get it, knocked a drawer in and it busted my glass bong in half... Try that on for size.


-AFD

I would be sure to avoid anything that might kill you. Knives, automotives, guns, etc, because just judging by your luck it might not be a great idea.

[syntax13]

Originally Posted by formula

I can't think of anything for myself right now, but one time when i was like 12 my big brother got soooo high and munched out on oreo ice cream the entire night, when he was done he cleaned up the bowl but instead of putting it in the cabinet he put it in the freezer, and he put the icecream in the cabinet. Lets just say my parents were NOT very happy the next morning.

I have done that MANY times when I wasn't even high.

[heythere]

we were smoking last night and this dude backs up in his car in front off us and was like your right behind me and you aint gonna move nothing, fuck you guys, we were freaked, plus my boy had a g of c so we had to be

[just_blaze_it]

Originally Posted by heythere

we were smoking last night and this dude backs up in his car in front off us and was like your right behind me and you aint gonna move nothing, fuck you guys, we were freaked, plus my boy had a g of c so we had to be

what the hell does all that mean? lol pretty confusin. or am i juts blazed.

[Johnny]

OK, I was gonna do a long-ass story, but I think I'll try to make it quick.


It was thursday afternoon, about a month ago. I had cruised on the way home from school, it was a sunny day, and I'm feeling good. My parents were out, and my kid brother was zoned out playing WoW or Runescape or something. I decided that tonight I was going to fix this old waterbottle bong I had that had broken a long time ago (I don't have any wet glass). I quickly collected all the necessary parts and went out to the garage. After looking through the varied selection of glues, epoxies, and adhesives, I selected a quick drying variety of liquid nails, as I was hoping to have the piece ready for that night.

-`~Fast-Forward~`-

It's 10 o clock, I'm in the basement and my parents are upstairs watching Law and Order. The bong is filled and packed. The TV is on, blaring nonsense into the room. I pick up the makeshift contraption and walk through the door into the laundry room. Familiar with the routine, I spark, milk, and clear. Amazing. I feel my head drop. I blow my hit into the dryer, and shut the door fast. The theory is the smoke will travel up the air vent to outside, and I think it works.

I start to feel a strange sensation of pressure on my jaw hinge, but it happened the other time I smoked this stuff, so I figure it must be okay. I take hit after hit, and the bowl seems to never dwindle. I start taking breaks between hits, and losing track of time, wandering around aimlessly holding the bong. Suddenly I feel something strange, in my head. I shake it off and sit down. I feel heavy. The room tells me it is shaking, sputtering and spinning, but I do not see it. I realize that I'm gonna puke, and I don't know why. I din't really smoke that much, maybe a gram at most.

I vomit into the trash can, my brain reeling. I don't understand what's going on. It all comes in flashes. Suddenly I realize. Liquid Nails. What the fuck was I thinking!? Attatching a metal bowl with Liquid Nails? Oh damn, that's not good. I need 911. What if I die. Could it have burnt my lungs? What am I throwing up? I don't remember what I ate, maybe it's my spleen. Pain racks my stomach. I grab the phone, but I'm too impaired to dial.

I run upstairs, gagging. I tell my dad what happened ("I was smokin' pot!") and he makes the call. I lie on the couch, eyes closed, wondering what's going to happen, as I clutch a garbage bag. The ambulance comes. I'm taken away, and I need to sit up so I don't choke.

-Darkness-

I awake in a room. It is white. My dad is in the corner, weary and nodding off. As I slowly become aware, an orderly comes in, and gives me a saline IV. I hate needles, and my entire body cramps. I can't move, and my limbs twitch, and I'm afraid that I'm going to black out again. Somehow I find out that it is 5 in the morning. I relax, and find out they had needed to give me 4 doses of anti-nausea medicine to get me to stop retching. In a while, the doctor briefs me, and we go home. Immediatly upon returning home, I fall asleep, but not before realizing I still have a gram in my pocket, safe from harm.


The Punishment:
I'm grounded till the end of the school year
I lose my car for 3 weeks (1 week left)
My parents said they will turn me into the police, but that hasn't happened yet, thank God.

Thoughts?

[Dazedandconfuse]

Well one day I decided thatI would smoke a bowl then take a shower than smoke another. Well I smoked the first bowl and I was feelin pretty high so I turned on the water in the shower. I get in the shower and the water all of a sudden gets really hot like someone flusshed the toilet. So I wate that out then I get back in and then the water gets really cold. So I was like wtf so I wate that out and it gets really hot again, This kept happening I thought someone kept flushin the toilet to piss me off. So I ended up figuring out how long the water was hot for and how long it was cold for. It was like 6 seconds hot 5 warm 6 cold. Just picture someone getting in and out of the shower every six seconds. I was in the shower for like an hour. I get out and I realise the toilet is running and thats wat caused that whole thing (Its when the chain falls off the medal pole in the toilet). I felt like a dumbass.

[p_squared342000]

i was stoned and gave one of my friends a ride home. i'm a good driver while stoned, cause i go a shitload slower and actually pay attention to the road. anyways, i get to his house and pull up behind his car and hit the brake. here cames the problem: i thought i put it in park. i was wrong. i let go of the brake and hit the back of his car fucking it all up, while my car was relitivly fine. luckly, it was a peice of shit and wasn't using it anyways, but still...

[WorkingPlacebos]

haha dont know if i can top one above this

i just sparked my lighter when i reached for my soda

[cadetsbball]

Here it is:

It is a saturday night and we are just leaving the river at about 12 30 and this is after 9 bowls and 10 beers so im fucked up and this other kid is fucked up the kids in the back are fucked up.

so we go through a toll and end up staying and having a conversation with the toll booth person for a good 10 minutes holding trafic up and then we hot box his jeep and this is now the 10 bowl and 11 beers later

so we go up the road and run a red light so bad and it ends up there is a cop and the kid driving knows the cop cause he is the kids uncle and he is chill and lets us go with a warning

so we go up to taco bell(this is were it gets funny) we miss the entracne and just randomly drive throguh the grass cause we were in a jeep wrangler and cut two ppl off and get in front of them

we all get out and leave the driver in the line and end up peeing at the dumpster

we all get back in the car and we have an empty styro foam cooler and they are like toss that shit so i take and hurl it and it breaks all over the place and there was one nadi left in it and im like fuck it and then out of no where this black guy comes out and grabs the beer and runs off with it

then we pull up to the window and order a total of 32.65 worth of food and this one kid payed for it and the lady was not going to take it unless we gave her the money up front and she waslike u guys dont need to smoke that much anymore

this might be rambleness but it was the funniest night of my life

[rtejedasa]

Originally Posted by WorkingPlacebos

haha dont know if i can top one above this

i just sparked my lighter when i reached for my soda

i don't get why that's so funny.

[metalstonerking]

Hahahah wow that is some fucked up funny shit