Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[Jonsi]

Alright here's a few stories:

First hit I took, I didn't get to smoke. lol, So it's my first time and my friend is taking me out and we're out in the boonies in his truck. He hands me a pipe and I was a total newb and I didn't know what to do, so I held it wrong, and when I breathed in, the flame burnt my fucking hand so I dropped the pipe and like half the weed fell on the floor... theyw ere pissed but laughed since it was my first time.

Another time i was out in the desert, it's 10:30 at night during a beautiful October night. If you have never experienced an early October night in the Arizona desert, it is like the best time to get high. Well my two other friends and I are in the circle and I'm pretty fuckin high, and all the sudden this owl swoops down around me, and I fuckin start trippin balls. It was the scariest shit ever at the time, I thought I was being attacked by the owl so I'm punching air. Now that I think about it, it's fuckin funny as hell.

Another funny story I was reminded by the post about the apple pipe. Well my friends and I were smoking after school in some suburban neighborhood and we had a joint. Well this little 3rd grader or something walks by and we get all paranoid and decide to switch to an apple. Well I'm with the biggest stoner in the school. Now, I don't give off the stoner image, I was the little goodie tooshoes kid, but all my friends knew the real me and love me. At this time though I was a pretty big closet stoner, so I was experience, just not with an apple. Well they were friends with the biggest stoner (who is now my friend) and he takes the greens since it's his weed, then hands the apple to me. I take a tiny fucking breath in, and I start to fucking cough a lung out. And a white cloud escapes me, and then this kid turns to me and starts laughing and says, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you... it hits hard." I don't know why, but it was the funniest fucking thing that's happened to me, the "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you" part was just fucking classic.

Now this one isn't funny, it's stupid and it pisses me off. I usually do not smoke when I need to go to school or work, but that was when I was in high school and my admin actually cared about that shit. But now in college no one fucking cares so two weeks ago I decided to toke up right before I got to class. It was my history class so it would be easy as hell. Well I have a one hitter bat from my dugout system that I had, I packed it in my car, and I got tired of having it in my lap and holding it up right as to protect the weed from falling out. This was going to be my first time smoking out of this specific bat as I just bought the dug out the night before. Well I decided to set it in my car's ashtrey holder (removed the ashtrey) because i thought I could build a decent clap with the ashtray cover. Well, there's a fucking slit in there and the bat falls right into this place that has no fucking possibility of reaching. And I'm pissed for 3 reasons, 1) Never got to use that bat 2) Didn't get to experience school high 3) I'm paranoid as fuck if I go to like Mexico or something for a day trip and they stop me at the border and have a k9.... I'd be fucked, and I can't clean it out. I just hope for being a one hitter amount that it is not enough to alert any dogs.... but I'm still paranoid about that.

Well there are some stories for now, I'll try to think of some more. GREAT thread.

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by Jonsi

Alright here's a few stories:

First hit I took, I didn't get to smoke. lol, So it's my first time and my friend is taking me out and we're out in the boonies in his truck. He hands me a pipe and I was a total newb and I didn't know what to do, so I held it wrong, and when I breathed in, the flame burnt my fucking hand so I dropped the pipe and like half the weed fell on the floor... theyw ere pissed but laughed since it was my first time.

Another time i was out in the desert, it's 10:30 at night during a beautiful October night. If you have never experienced an early October night in the Arizona desert, it is like the best time to get high. Well my two other friends and I are in the circle and I'm pretty fuckin high, and all the sudden this owl swoops down around me, and I fuckin start trippin balls. It was the scariest shit ever at the time, I thought I was being attacked by the owl so I'm punching air. Now that I think about it, it's fuckin funny as hell.

Another funny story I was reminded by the post about the apple pipe. Well my friends and I were smoking after school in some suburban neighborhood and we had a joint. Well this little 3rd grader or something walks by and we get all paranoid and decide to switch to an apple. Well I'm with the biggest stoner in the school. Now, I don't give off the stoner image, I was the little goodie tooshoes kid, but all my friends knew the real me and love me. At this time though I was a pretty big closet stoner, so I was experience, just not with an apple. Well they were friends with the biggest stoner (who is now my friend) and he takes the greens since it's his weed, then hands the apple to me. I take a tiny fucking breath in, and I start to fucking cough a lung out. And a white cloud escapes me, and then this kid turns to me and starts laughing and says, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you... it hits hard." I don't know why, but it was the funniest fucking thing that's happened to me, the "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you" part was just fucking classic.

Now this one isn't funny, it's stupid and it pisses me off. I usually do not smoke when I need to go to school or work, but that was when I was in high school and my admin actually cared about that shit. But now in college no one fucking cares so two weeks ago I decided to toke up right before I got to class. It was my history class so it would be easy as hell. Well I have a one hitter bat from my dugout system that I had, I packed it in my car, and I got tired of having it in my lap and holding it up right as to protect the weed from falling out. This was going to be my first time smoking out of this specific bat as I just bought the dug out the night before. Well I decided to set it in my car's ashtrey holder (removed the ashtrey) because i thought I could build a decent clap with the ashtray cover. Well, there's a fucking slit in there and the bat falls right into this place that has no fucking possibility of reaching. And I'm pissed for 3 reasons, 1) Never got to use that bat 2) Didn't get to experience school high 3) I'm paranoid as fuck if I go to like Mexico or something for a day trip and they stop me at the border and have a k9.... I'd be fucked, and I can't clean it out. I just hope for being a one hitter amount that it is not enough to alert any dogs.... but I'm still paranoid about that.

Well there are some stories for now, I'll try to think of some more. GREAT thread.

Haha, thanks man. My favorite story was definitely the one about the owl. That's fucking hilarious lmfao

[redzeppelin]

Originally Posted by naughtyneighbor

ahahaha how much did it cost to install the door back on?

Not too much, because the next day we went to the junk yard and bought a door that was painted a different color, but because the mounts were damaged too, everytime it rained water leaked in.

[MrBubbles]

Stupidest stoner mistake I ever made was really liking this chick only to find out how much of a slut she was, as she was boning my friend practicly right in front of me.
fucken bitches lemme tell ya

[knospe420]

Originally Posted by endosmokrWV

one day me and my friends got baked and one of them talked us all into robbing this house for liquor and cash, we all got arrested but they let us off cause we were to high to make it into the house haha.

yea same sorta shit happend to me just last sunday except the guy actually went in and put a gun to the guys head and stole his weed and money, well turns the dude that he robbed was really high and beleived that it was me that robbed him cause the me and the guy look similar so now im on trial for armed robber a class b felony...biggest mistake of my life...that chronic had my judgement all fucked up..not sure whats going to happen yet i got court on the 17th though

[Jonsi]

Originally Posted by knospe420

yea same sorta shit happend to me just last sunday except the guy actually went in and put a gun to the guys head and stole his weed and money, well turns the dude that he robbed was really high and beleived that it was me that robbed him cause the me and the guy look similar so now im on trial for armed robber a class b felony...biggest mistake of my life...that chronic had my judgement all fucked up..not sure whats going to happen yet i got court on the 17th though

I hope your friend man's up and testifies it was him.

[Hamburglar]

So, I'm surfin' GC, and I notice the clock. 4:19PM. I hadn't smoked yet today, so I was like... sweet. So I get out my bong, get out my weed and lighter. I pack a fat bowl. 4:20PM. I spark the bowl. 4:31PM. I find myself staring down at an empty bowl. 4:32PM. I figure, "hey, empty bowl = haven't smoked yet." So, I pack another bowl. 4:38PM. I look down upon a completely cashed bowl. 4:40PM. I ponder how I got so high off one bowl, off the same bud that took me two bowls to get what I wanted going yesterday. 4:42PM (now). I arrive at GrassCity with my realization that I had indeliberately packed and smoked two bowls, when I only intended to smoke one.

Ah man, you don't know how many times i've done that before. Sometimes i'd smoke 4 bowls and only think 1, and somehow I also "forget" that im high, if you could imagine that.

[knospe420]

Originally Posted by Plex420

^ rofl dude back in like 3rd grade the vice principal ws like "WHAT YALL DID IS VERY BAD BUT./.....i think we can forgive you" sdo i was liek thankyou sir and she was liek what did you say i was lie sorry no i mean ma'am.lol keep in mnd this lafies like 300 lbs.literally.and im stoned so sorry if i make no sense

What!?!....lol this is why i love the city

[J Dylan]

Originally Posted by knospe420

What!?!....lol this is why i love the city

lmfao, that's part of why I love the city

but it's also part of why i have a headache now

lol nah, j/k

[Rampede]

Originally Posted by highinhouston

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:la ughing: thats the best one in the thread lol
a hit off lol

Fo rill? I thought it was pretty funny myself aswell. But hey, shit happens lol. It was so fucking funny tho cus the carpet was like rising off the floor about 5 or so inches lol.

[the lego man]

I got really fucked up with some buds, went to another buds house. They all went up to his room to blaze some more. I stayed downstairs talkin to his dad, and had the randomist conversation about that randomist shit. I don't member most of it, but I do remember asking him, "hey, so do you wanna come outside and blaze with me? I've got some dank ass nugg." He didn't care but didn't blaze with me, but he's a cool dad. It was nuts.

[Lebowski]

Originally Posted by the lego man

I got really fucked up with some buds, went to another buds house. They all went up to his room to blaze some more. I stayed downstairs talkin to his dad, and had the randomist conversation about that randomist shit. I don't member most of it, but I do remember asking him, "hey, so do you wanna come outside and blaze with me? I've got some dank ass nugg." He didn't care but didn't blaze with me, but he's a cool dad. It was nuts.

Mistake is...?

[StonedSkunk]

bumb for the awesome stories,

im too high and really tired now so i'll try to think of a story to post later lol

[hydro_dank_man]

one time i smoked a blunt in my moms car but luckly she didny smell anything

[J Dylan]

Something absolutely rediculous happened to me last night. I was blazed when it happened, and I laughed for so long, so hard the whole time that my sides ache. I was walking around little sidestreets in my town with nice houses and scenery and what not, and we were blazing a blunt. All of a sudden, as we're passing this one house, we notice a shadow of someone RIGHT next to the window (it was a blurred privacy window, but the lights were on inside, and it was around midnight, so it was dark outside). Anyway, the first thing we saw was that the man's shadow in the window was violently bouncing in a humping motion, and that one of his arms was extended out to support his balance and holding onto the edge of a table, or bed in front of him. You have to understand, the edge of the bed, or table, or whatever he was holding, was PERFECTLY in line with the window, so we could watch this whole thing happening from a side view. So, the first thing me and my buddy think are that he's banging a chick. But then we see him reach his other hand down, and turn the page to something. THEN he started using a towel to wipe his face off while still humping. We realized we were watching a dude jack off, and that sort of freaked us out... but it was too rediculous of a situation to leave. I mean seriously... this guy put the most passion into masturbation that I've ever thought possible. He was working his fucking heart out lmfao... anyway he proceeded to hump more violently when he most likely finished up, and then we left. It was rediculous... I only wish I could've had my video camera with me during it all, the video would seriously be all over the internet. this was like... a total movie situation hahaha.