Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[420THC]

Originally Posted by syntax13

I have done that MANY times when I wasn't even high.

me too, prolly from all the weed i smoke tho

[bradcah]

just tonight i got super blazed off my new bong and pretty much was hallucinating. maybe not very much, but my perception was definitely altered significantly. but anyway, on to the mistake. I became really paranoid and ended up developing this ridiculously complex conspiracy theory regarding nearly every aspect of society and how it all revolves around a shadowy illuminati-type organization that uses the media and popular culture to manipulate the public. it was really intense and i spent about an hour and a half telling my friend about this who was probably really fucking pissed at me for talking so much... oh well toke on (but watch out for the illuminati- they are coming to take away your constitutional rights away)

[smokeitup421]

^pffft, someones paranoid.

[Stay Focused]

Dumb shit like constantly losing stuff. One of the worst times was I was with this girl and I was meeting her parents and as I bend forward to shake her dads hand, my sack fell out of my pocket hahaha

[The Lex]

i keep losing my bags of weed. i think i'm at the stage of "You Know You're a Pothead When..." you could probly find up to an 1/8 of weed in your room if you looked hard enough. i keep my stuff in different spots in my room dependin on if i'm smoking at home or going out. anyway i'lll grab a bag outa the stash step(singular) over to my bed and grab my lighter/pipe outa a drawer, turn back around and h ave to spend the next 10 min looking for the weed

[Smokentoke420]

I was out drivng a few nights ago, hotboxed my ride wit my dealer, and then he took moff and im in the parking lot, and some guy starts yellin and pointin at me, and i ignore him, and exit the parking lot following a big truck to go home (it's midnight, pitch black), and he's got his lights on, and he makes a left turn while I keep going straight and I think "damn, why is it so dark" and then I remembers "MY LIGHTS ARE OFF!" so i turned them on and laughed.

[Smokentoke420]

oOoooohhh and there was this time me and my homie went WAy out back in the woods (to our normal spot) to burn a blunt, then it started getting foggy, it was SOOOO beautiful, then the fog got HELLA thick and we got lost. takes 5 min to get there from his house, and it took us 3 hours to get home. Talk about BUZZ KILL! (I was reallyt thirsty too, and I forgto my water at his house) so I was freaking out.


The weed paranoia did NOT help.

[Gatson]

So this was a couple months ago, second time I or any of the pepole I was with had ever decided to do shrooms. So we get everything ready...weigh out the shrooms, pile them in seperate piles, scale sitting on the table, 4 blunts already rolled (two for the group on the way up and down). I mean, it was blatantly obvious what was going on. We even had my friend's pool table COVERED with nothing but weird, crazy looking objects for us to examine when we were trippin balls. So my buddy lives with football players here at UT, so we pretty much know their schedule. We were gonna shroom in his backyard and knew that by the time they got back, we'd be well on our way down. So we have everything ready, run to McDonalds to help with the taste. Everything's going to plan...until we get home and see a big ass white van in the driveway that wasn't there to start with. We get inside and one of the other guy's parents (both of them, plus an aunt) are inside just doing the kid's laundry. The table is in the MIDDLE of the damn living room. You have no choice but to walk by it no matter where you're going in the house. There's no possible way they missed it. It was tense to say the least. They left the room for about 10 seconds and I swooped in, grabbed all the shit and we straight disappeared. Maybe not the funniest story ever...kind of a "had to be there" type situation. I figure most pepole on here can relate, though.

[Thessentials]

Me and my friends decide to have a box session in my car. After about 3 hits for me I decide that we have to end the session because I had to head to a dentist appointment. So I go to put it in drive but the stick won't fucking budge. It was a new car and I had let my friend drive it to the spot where we smoked so I was like,"Dude what the fuck happened to my car?" I try to press down on the brake and it won't budge either. I spend about 2 minutes just being completely in awe that my new car broke already.

Then I realized that the car wasn't even on.

[Visine!]

I have a jetta (manual) and a truck (auto). The first time I had driven the jetta (first time on a manual ever) I drove it around for about a week. Then when i got back in my truck (high as hell of course) Im driving it down the street and there is a stop sign coming up not to far ahead. So like i had been doing all week i push the clutch in with my left foot... except it wasnt a clutch pedal... it was the brake... so I go SLAMMING to a hault still like 30 feet from the stop sign!

Then one time my jetta was parked on a pretty steep slope (front of car facing down) parallel parked with my bro's subaru wrx parked in front. Im in my truck and the jetta need to go forward a bit so i can park my truck behind it. Well I dont even bother turning the jetta on, just put it in neutral (btw, im not sitting in the car, have the door open and im just sicking my head in basicly). Then once again being high as hell the car starts rolling down towards the subaru... I stick my right foot in the car to hit the brake... wait no, thats the clutch! *move foot* thats the gas!!! (picking up speed about to slam into the subaru) So im panicing and finally find the brake and slam it as hard as i can. Well im not really in the car, so my head goes flying into the car door... ouch (and inches from the subaru).

[flowerchild]

My guy friend just got an albino snake. Said friend (we'll call him Bob) loooves his booze and men. The other night when Bob was hammmmered, he was sitting on the floor mumbling about his snake. He kept telling people to go get it for him, and one of our friends decided to fuck with him. The guy is like "Yeah man, I'll go get your snake so you'll stfu about it." So, knowing where Bob keeps his "life like" masturbation tool, our friend runs upstairs, gets it, and goes, "Here Bob- your snake" and just rests it in Bob's arms.

Well, Bob is sooo completely trashed that he has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.
He's cuddling the dildo, stroking it and murmering, "Aw.... you're so pretty..... I love you... baby snake.... so cute.." Meanwhile, his head is lolling off to the side as he is about to pass out, camera's flashin' and videotapes rollin'

[poth_ead_homer]

Made waffles

Blew up a building and tha thing almost burnt all tha way down (dont tell anyone)

Caught woods on fire

Almost threw old food at a cop (when i started throwing it and noticed it was a cop it was too late so i over threw on purpose)

Desided to ligh another joint...after the 1st....on a bus...

idk there are more but i forget and im hi... yeeaaa nigg!!!!

[David_Jr]

Well me and my smoking buddy were chilling one day and he decided to take a couple of xanax, then we got to talking and went down the road to one of our other friends place and procedded to smoke a shit load of some nice bud we then it was time for us to head back to his parents (just 2 houses down) and b4 we got to the door our friends mom stopped us and asked us if we were ok (note she is pretty cool about bud) and said my buddy needed to eat something so we sat down and our buddies sister who i swear was smoking with us got him some noodles which he ate by hand. So we get out the door and attempt to walk as normal as we could which at that point it prolly would have looked better if we had crawled back but we get to his house and open the door and his parents are sitting at the computer waiting and as soon as we get inside they start to question like have you boys been drinking and we tell the truth nope we havent been drinking so we go sit in his living room and he parents come in to find whats up. So they sit and ask what we are on and my buddy tring to save our asses says we just took some xanax which his dad immeditly foes to research it on the web adn i tell him its with a X not a Z tring to prove im fien then my buddypasses the fuck out and left me to the explaining and when i overheard them talking about taking us to the ER cause they think we OD or something on pills not knowing of the weed yet i calmly tell his mom the we smoked some marijuana and didnt take the pills so we didnt get rushed to the ER for a stomach pumping long story short we should have made plans to stay the night somewere instead of going to his house

[IggyPop]

I stared at the "Batman teaches Spanish" and "Spanish for Gringos" books at Barnes and Noble for about 30 minutes and laughed my ass off while I completely forgot to follow the dude who was guiding me to a book.

[dying liver]

Originally Posted by IggyPop

I stared at the "Batman teaches Spanish" and "Spanish for Gringos" books at Barnes and Noble for about 30 minutes and laughed my ass off while I completely forgot to follow the dude who was guiding me to a book.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. just imagine what the guy was like. ''here you are, heres your book......sir? uhh.....''