Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[Bardobeing]

I just tried making a pb&j and ended up piling all of my jelly and peanut butter onto an empty plate. Now I'm hungry.

[The Lex]

lol, so i thought about makinga thread about this. then i started reading this...
so yeah, my mom 'busted' me yesterday, i admit though i was pretty stupid. so i go in my bathroom to smoke my onie at like 7ish pm, towels at bottom of door, window open enough to blow the sploof outa. finish it, go into my room, realize i left the sploof on the counter. go back and get it and as i get back in my room my mom is RIGHT behind me "Were you just smoking pot?" .......... "Uh.........yeah*grin*" pretty much all she said was "I don't know what to say, just not in the house." hasn't brought it up again and i don't think she told my dad. i'm still buggered as to how she figured out, i think i must of been clinking the onie louder then i though on the counter. oh and eyah, she gets me then, not when i hotboxed my room the night before, wtf?

fuck, i love my job, here how it when yesterday: boss"i shoulda brought my weed" me"i got some" FF 10 min. "DUDE, SLOPPY JOES!" POTHEAD DISCLAIMER: THE MOVIE "Yours, Mine, & Ours" HAS THE LONGEST FUCKING PREVIEwS EVER!!!!!!!!

[k4rts]

Originally Posted by The Lex

POTHEAD DISCLAIMER: THE MOVIE "Yours, Mine, & Ours" HAS THE LONGEST FUCKING PREVIEwS EVER!!!!!!!!

hit the menu button.

[NewTokes]

So my parents left to go out to dinner with my dad's company (Yes I still live at home, finishing HS this year). They leave around 5pm in the afternoon, before dinner time comes I decided to some a joint and enjoy the peace I had at home. This was some new stuff I've never smoked before just got it over the weekend, put about 1.5 grams into my jay and began my session. It took a few minutes for it to start hitting my body but once it did it was amazing, as it was around dinner time and I was extremely hungry I decided to go down stairs to get some food. About halfway down the staircase I forgot that I was walking downstairs and put my foot out in front of me as if I was walking on a flat surface. Needless to say, I feel down the rest of the way to bottom. I sat there for a minute rubbing myself and forgot I fell down the stairs, the back of my head hurt so I thought someone had hit me in my head and was going to rob the house. I am not a super big guy but can handle myself, so I went to the garage to get a baseball bat, I started in the basement, than mainfloor and finally upper level, didn't find anything and I looked in ever closet. I was checking the bathroom when I thought it would be a good time to enjoy a nice steamy shower, I guess I leaned the baseball bat on a wall just outside the door, as once I finished showering I tripped on it and thought the same person put it there to scare me. So I armed it again and researched the house.

I get to the kitchen and was still hungry as I never ate before my searching and made a nice big sandwich to fill my belly. Just as I finished I heard the doorbell ring, I ran to grab the bat and went to answer the door. The lady must of been around 30-35 years old (myself being 18) I looked at her and her eyes were wide open I asked her if everything was alright and she didn't respond she just stared at me. Now I was getting a little upset since she was probably trying to sell me something yet she was wasting my time not talking. After a what seemed like a 20 minutes though was most likely less time. She said, "I am sorry to interrupt your evening sir, next time though please just don't answer the door." I was puzzled as to why she said this and walked away, well I ended up looking in a mirror and I see that I had forgotten to put my clothes back on when I finished my shower. Which was the reason the lady was shocked, how often to you go to a house to find someone answering the door with no clothes on and a baseball bat in one hand.

[TheWALL]

Originally Posted by NewTokes

So my parents left to go out to dinner with my dad's company (Yes I still live at home, finishing HS this year). They leave around 5pm in the afternoon, before dinner time comes I decided to some a joint and enjoy the peace I had at home. This was some new stuff I've never smoked before just got it over the weekend, put about 1.5 grams into my jay and began my session. It took a few minutes for it to start hitting my body but once it did it was amazing, as it was around dinner time and I was extremely hungry I decided to go down stairs to get some food. About halfway down the staircase I forgot that I was walking downstairs and put my foot out in front of me as if I was walking on a flat surface. Needless to say, I feel down the rest of the way to bottom. I sat there for a minute rubbing myself and forgot I fell down the stairs, the back of my head hurt so I thought someone had hit me in my head and was going to rob the house. I am not a super big guy but can handle myself, so I went to the garage to get a baseball bat, I started in the basement, than mainfloor and finally upper level, didn't find anything and I looked in ever closet. I was checking the bathroom when I thought it would be a good time to enjoy a nice steamy shower, I guess I leaned the baseball bat on a wall just outside the door, as once I finished showering I tripped on it and thought the same person put it there to scare me. So I armed it again and researched the house.

I get to the kitchen and was still hungry as I never ate before my searching and made a nice big sandwich to fill my belly. Just as I finished I heard the doorbell ring, I ran to grab the bat and went to answer the door. The lady must of been around 30-35 years old (myself being 18) I looked at her and her eyes were wide open I asked her if everything was alright and she didn't respond she just stared at me. Now I was getting a little upset since she was probably trying to sell me something yet she was wasting my time not talking. After a what seemed like a 20 minutes though was most likely less time. She said, "I am sorry to interrupt your evening sir, next time though please just don't answer the door." I was puzzled as to why she said this and walked away, well I ended up looking in a mirror and I see that I had forgotten to put my clothes back on when I finished my shower. Which was the reason the lady was shocked, how often to you go to a house to find someone answering the door with no clothes on and a baseball bat in one hand.

LOL!!!!!!!

[justineBTC]

Originally Posted by dankykush

One time on my break from work (15 minutes) I go in my car, take out the roor and some kush, load it up with water and light a fatty bowl. Well, after i finish the bowl to myself i lean my chair back and listen to Brotha Lynch spit his rhymes, I get so caught up in thought of whatever i forget that i am at work. Finally (45 minutes later) i realize, scared shitless that im late. I run back in without spraying cologne or anything ( i did put idrops in) I go in and they didnt even notice haha!

Then a co-worker walking by tells me i reak of dank so i run over to the febreeze section and spray my self down haha.

Another time, I was really baked and at work, i walked down to chucky cheese and got a pizza and ate it on a 15 minute break lol. That time i got in trouble :-\

DUUUUDE... i was reading this and laughing because i used to space out all the time smoking bowls in my car at work and come in like 30 minutes after i went to take a "ten" and anyways... when you said febreze section-- i pictured target in my head... and then you said one time you went down to chucky cheese on a break... and i was like WHOOOOA, the target in my neighborhood is right down the street from a chucky cheese!! and then i looked at your user name and it says your from the 805... and thaaaats my neighborhooood.

so yeah. thats chill. hahaha. and your story was funny.

[lil whitey]

Originally Posted by NewTokes

So my parents left to go out to dinner with my dad's company (Yes I still live at home, finishing HS this year). They leave around 5pm in the afternoon, before dinner time comes I decided to some a joint and enjoy the peace I had at home. This was some new stuff I've never smoked before just got it over the weekend, put about 1.5 grams into my jay and began my session. It took a few minutes for it to start hitting my body but once it did it was amazing, as it was around dinner time and I was extremely hungry I decided to go down stairs to get some food. About halfway down the staircase I forgot that I was walking downstairs and put my foot out in front of me as if I was walking on a flat surface. Needless to say, I feel down the rest of the way to bottom. I sat there for a minute rubbing myself and forgot I fell down the stairs, the back of my head hurt so I thought someone had hit me in my head and was going to rob the house. I am not a super big guy but can handle myself, so I went to the garage to get a baseball bat, I started in the basement, than mainfloor and finally upper level, didn't find anything and I looked in ever closet. I was checking the bathroom when I thought it would be a good time to enjoy a nice steamy shower, I guess I leaned the baseball bat on a wall just outside the door, as once I finished showering I tripped on it and thought the same person put it there to scare me. So I armed it again and researched the house.

I get to the kitchen and was still hungry as I never ate before my searching and made a nice big sandwich to fill my belly. Just as I finished I heard the doorbell ring, I ran to grab the bat and went to answer the door. The lady must of been around 30-35 years old (myself being 18) I looked at her and her eyes were wide open I asked her if everything was alright and she didn't respond she just stared at me. Now I was getting a little upset since she was probably trying to sell me something yet she was wasting my time not talking. After a what seemed like a 20 minutes though was most likely less time. She said, "I am sorry to interrupt your evening sir, next time though please just don't answer the door." I was puzzled as to why she said this and walked away, well I ended up looking in a mirror and I see that I had forgotten to put my clothes back on when I finished my shower. Which was the reason the lady was shocked, how often to you go to a house to find someone answering the door with no clothes on and a baseball bat in one hand.

LMFAO....I want some of that shit u had

[Moosecalledjim]

Wow...I just told my Bob Marley poster how high I am


edit: I forgot to put high in that sentence haha

[roho1]

Alright, so a few weeks ago I was at my friends house with him and one other of my buds. Anyway, we wanted to smoke, but didn't want to go outside, I mean, winters in chicago can really suck. So, instead of braving the cold we decided to stay in my friends room, pop his atic, turn on some really expensive air filters, and toke the fuck up. We'd just gotten an O, but had only planned on doing one bowl each, (we each had our own piece) but soon after one of us challenged the other one to a race of "who can smoke the fastest." Someone one (I forget whom) won the contest, but it was disputed by the other two, so we did another one... and another one... and another one. By then we had smoked about 10 bowls each, and had been smoking for about an hour and a half. Anyway, after that we sat down to watch the xbox visualizer to some King Tubby on his 56in TV. I was really enjoying the music, and thought I could taste it, so I had it going pretty good for me. Suddenly, out of some corner of my mind, I heard someone calling me a "Nig** bitch" (sorry for the word if it offends someone, but really, this is what happened). It turns out it was my friend (hes asian) laughing and calling me one of those things which I mentioned earlier. Anyway, to combat his name-calling, I started calling him, in a high british voice a "Mooootabarrat." (His last name is "Hootabarrat.") Anyway, we continued like this for what seemed like forever, the other kid just stared at me, laughing the entire way through. Haha he's Canadian and has the funniest laugh ever. What happened next still scares me. The Mooootabarrat's dad walks in and questions us about the smell (apparently the fans didn't do their job, but thankfully the dude's dad had never smelled weed before). My other friend is passed out, the kids son is acting all normal, but I didn't realized any of this shit was serious so I was still calling the kid a Mooootabarrat and had then called his dad the "bigger mooootabarrat." The kid just told his dad that I was talking in my sleep (I was lying on the couch), and he actually believed it. We were so lucky. Anyway, after that, my canook friend woke up, our eyes met in the most serious glance I've ever seen... or saw, then he said two words: "cookie crisp," and then him and I got up and snuck out for the 24-hour jewel (it was 3:30 am). It was the win, and let me tell you, that was the fucking greatest cookie crisp ever man. The fucking best.

[supersmoker27]

I put high strength acne medication in my eye cause I thought it was visine. Burned like hell

[dank bud ftw]

so my friends and i had just smoked 4 bowls of some dank bud and we got the munchies so we went to sonic. anyways, our driver presses the red button on the order sign and the lady asks us what we want and one of my friends literally yells at the lady "bitch! i want a cheeseburger!" at this point, we were all losing our shit but we finally got our order through so then we just waited in the car and listened to some slightly stoopid.

then the sonic lady comes by our car with the food and i am high as balls and i ask her if she can "divide the bill between the five of us." she looks at me like i'm retarded and says no. i think this is bullshit, but whatever. i ask my friends if they have cash to cover their food and they say no. then im like "this is fucking bullshit!" and heres where everything just gets fucked up: when i said this was bullshit, i was telling my friends that, but the sonic lady thought i was responding to her say that she could not split the bill.

she told us to leave the premises or she would call the cops. needless to say we laughed our asses off and booked it to smoke another bowl.

[hurricaneMIKE]

Originally Posted by Moosecalledjim

Wow...I just told my Bob Marley poster how high I am


edit: I forgot to put high in that sentence haha

hahaha. i can definitely sympathize with you. I have a poster of Pirates 3 in my room, and once I whispered to Kiera Knightly "you are a sexy motherfucker".

[littlegirl]

Originally Posted by J Dylan

^^That kinda reminded me of something. Over the summer when I was staying with my parents, I got really blazed up in my room. I then proceeded to go on a kitchen raid. Before I made it to the kitchen, I ran into what I thought was our black lab. After like 60-90 seconds of affectionate petting, I was interrupted by my dad saying, "What are you doing?"

I looked up at him and replied, "I'm petting the dog."

He looked down at the dog and said, "That's the footstool."

hahaha, I was so embarrassed... such a dead give away what I'd been doing up in my room.

this was HILARIOUS.
i just laughed for like. ten minutes
now im going to read it again and laugh

[littlegirl]

last night i was smoking with my pipe
and i realized it was about half cashed
so i said to myself
if i keep filling it when its halfway empty i wont have to pack it again
so i'd empty the ash, and put more weed in
and kept doing that til i realized i'd one through like 7 bowls without realizing it

[samusandmtolb]

i was pretty stoned last night and i realized that pipe had built up a terrible amount of resin in it. I new that i had cleaned it earlier that week with a baggy and some cascade. I pulled out the nasty baggy and stuck my pipe in it. Ten minutes later i come back check out my pipe, didnt work just made my room smell like shit. Im stoned right so im incredibly lazy. I had a toothpick and a sock to clean out my pipe. The resin was wet and could be removed easily. Im pickin out the resin with my toothpick. After cleanin my pipe i go and have a little bit of a nap. I wake up smellin the resin and it fuckin smells. So i went upstairs thinkin it was on my hands. when i went upstairs my mom was at the computer and she was just stairin at me and she tried to give me hug so that she could smell me. but i was like move i gotta shit. i went into the bathroom and i have a look in the mirror and there is a good amount of resin in my hair and on my forehead. How the fuck did that happen. Of course my mom saw it and talked to me bout it for a while but w/e she was decently cool. when i got down stairs in my room it smelled like resin. I layed down and there was also dried resin on my goddamn pillow.