Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology - Page 101

puscifer · #**1501** (**permalink**) 12-09-2007, 02:20 AM

Yesterday one of my friends and I donated plasma. While donating I passed out and still felt lightheaded while leaving. Being stoners, we went straight to a local headshop where I bought my first pipe (woo!) with the money from donating...and so we had to go break it in that night -of course. We get home and hot box a very small tent with this new pipe and chill on the couch for a while. (One bowl has completely inhilated us because we are still feeling weird from donating plasma). I try to get off the couch to get a glass of water, but I stood up too quickly. I began to pass out in the kitchen and tried to sit down, but fell in mid-sit and hit my head on the wall. While coming out of blacking out I thought I was coming out of a salvia trip I took about a month ago and everything I had lived since then was just a dream. Anyway...being lightheaded + high = a BIG mistake. (don't donate and get high in the same 2/3 hour period, it's dangerous)

Oh yeah, I've also tried to put my friend's ash catcher into the top of her bong after taking a hit. I only realized that was where it didn't go when it didn't fit. - I've also mistaken the same ash catcher as a really cool pipe.

hozomeen · #**1502** (**permalink**) 12-09-2007, 06:46 AM

I had been working in the kitchen of an upscale family owned restaurant (upscale for the city of 30,000). I usually smoked a few bowls before work. I was poor so only bought shitty weed, but once in a while I'd splurge on dank. So I get a bag of some very nice, stinky dank one morning and blaze my usual couple bowls, but it knocks me on my ass. It takes me awhile to get out the door.

But everything's going alright, I'm prepping food and getting shit ready in the kitchen. Then I go to make some ranch dressing. I did this 7 times a week. I knew exactly how to make the dressing...except for some reason, as I was pulling out the ingredients from the cooler, I grabbed the cream cheese instead of the sour cream. I remember looking at the cream cheese thinking, "maaaan it would feel wicked to mash that up with my fingers."

So I mix all the ingredients and am enjoying the feeling as I mix them up with my hands. After experiencing very amusing sensations it registers that this isn't the right consistency for dressing, and look down into the bowl seeing, oddly, a big bowl of smashed cream cheese, not sour cream. How could this have happened? I asked myself. I thought back to the minutes leading up to my departure from home and realized I was simply stoned out of my gourd.

For the curious, I managed to put most of that shit in squirt bottles and labeled them "ranch dressing" before my boss could see my fuckup. None of the customers noticed. I don't know about you, but that last fact kind of scares me.

random_umphreak · #**1503** (**permalink**) 12-09-2007, 08:31 AM

my biggest mistake wasnt really all that big more like awkward. it all started at school that day (i was a freshman) and i was talking to my friend ramsey who was a senior and he's like "hey man were rippin bongs at my house after school u wanna come" and never smoking a bong before i said yeah if he can give me a ride which he could. so we get there and theres probably 8 people and we've got 7 grams and 2 bongs, one was a mini 1 foot bong and the other was a 3 footer and considering out of the 8 people there probably 4 were giant drug dealers at my school it was some mondo ass shit, i get as stoned as ive ever been in my life and i put in visine before i get home. i walk in and i make small talk with my dad and im paranoid as fuck, and i leave for my room but before hand he says "oh yeah i got u subway". that was a gift from god. so i go up to my room and its around 4:30 by now eat subway and fall asleep at around 5:30. the next day my dad questions me why i just went up to my room so early in the day and never came down and i just said i was tired. but my dad was suspicious as fuck

punraba · #**1504** (**permalink**) 12-10-2007, 11:57 PM

bump.

Chronik-Judge · #**1505** (**permalink**) 12-12-2007, 05:05 PM

Light cig and put it back on my ear
Leave weed related gargbage around
Leave weed on my desk

Reddy Johnston · #**1506** (**permalink**) 12-14-2007, 05:14 PM

Bumpity bumpbump.

huecotoph · #**1507** (**permalink**) 12-15-2007, 04:18 AM

After getting caught in traffic on the highway, me and a friend decide to turn around and head home instead. We exit and then get back on the on ramp, when turn to my friend and say " OH NO WE ARE GOING THE SAME WAY AGAIN, WE WERE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY BEFORE TOO!" Seeing as how we are both faded, neither of us fully assess what i've just declared. So we are sitting there bitching and moaning about how stupid we are when we both turn to each other and crack up laughing "Dont we always drive on the right side of the road!?!?!". Man i felt pretty dense that day.

Buzzwell420 · #**1508** (**permalink**) 12-15-2007, 04:50 AM

Yeah My new Keyboard is the shi!.

Well Since Im high all the time..my stoner mistake is really a life mistake. I only paid 600$ of my 1000 and I just spaced it after I moved.

Lets see...Missing my flight becuase I was just multifaded and I was sitting at the total wrong end of the airpor. gate 68 instead of 86...So I ran, and ran, and missed my flight. Lost my lighter and some other shit. So i bought a 4 dollar red bull and a pack of matches, and went out to have a smoke I went back in and had the red bull in my bag, and in securety the tossed it... I completley forgot. Then I followed a cute girl all the way to her gate becuase I was talking to her and so i just acted like I was at the right end....hmmm well too bad/

grassmaster420 · #**1509** (**permalink**) 12-18-2007, 08:09 AM

so one night im chillin with my uncle and all of his friends at my uncles house. we have some dank ass weed and are smokin out of the bubbler.

well after about 2-3 bowls im baked and were packing another one (it cashes on me) so i take the bubbler and flip it upside down to knock out the ash and spill water EVERYWHERE

it was pretty funny though

TradSkin · #**1510** (**permalink**) 12-18-2007, 08:24 AM

First post here, this story isnt to good

So me and my friend were at this gay guys house with these 2 girls one of which my friend liked and i knew the gay guy from middle school (didnt know he was gay back then) so i was like eh w/e hes still a cool guy even tho hes a dick.

Anyway, sum drama starts happening between girl #1 and gay guy #1 so me and my friend leave after 1 40 of steely and a few bowls of weed, so we went to walk to this other guys house and forget the car cause we were paranoid about driving while stoned

So we walk and relaized we went the wrong way and we walked for like 1 hour to find out he wasnt awake and he wasnt even in his room when we tried to wake him up, cause he passed out in his garage

So we start walking back, go to a 24/7 gas station and its like 3:30 so we buy 1 lemonade and 1 tea for each and drank that shit down so were walking back still high/buzzed from the 40 and we see this dude, with no pants on, ass naked, getting into his truck with just his shirt on

and when he went to get in the truck he flashed his ass (he didnt know we were here) and i was like wtf and my friend looked and he had to hike up his shirt to get in his truck we were like wtf and were busting up laughing and at this point we were 5 minutes from his car so we run as fast we can to his car while laughing hard as shit cause we cant beleive it, cause we stared at the guy for like 10 seconds before he even got in his truck.and start following the guy and we got next to him and he was dressing for the air force hahahaha

thats my story, its longer than what it should be, enjoy, sry bout my grammar/spelling

edit: fuck this is in the wrong thread, this is for mistakes, and following that guy was not a mistake haha, ima move this post, sry guys :P

DeviousDewbster · #**1511** (**permalink**) 12-23-2007, 06:16 AM

Went to hot box my car so I took off my brand new northface coat so it wouldn't smell and put it on the top of my car, procede to get high as a motherfucker, peel out of the parking lot i had parked in and only realize I lost my coat 20 minutes later at Mcdonalds when I reach for my wallet and find nothing but thin air. =P fun stuff

turd_with_a_u · #**1512** (**permalink**) 12-23-2007, 07:41 AM

dude, gotoakellershow (page 34), you sound like a bad liar, not saying you are lying, but you just made it too dramatic and thuggish, and detailed. usually stoners forget the details, as do most normal people. i dunno, it just sounded like a big fake story to me. no bad reps on you tho if you were really jus tellin the straight facts.

i have a few good mistakes/stories, but i prolly should wait untill i can type without taking a half-hour for one post. maybe tommorrow i will.

Bencker · #**1513** (**permalink**) 12-24-2007, 07:26 PM

My mom woke me up this morning, and the conversation went like this:

Mom: Adam, wake up.
Me (really tired, didn't even open my eyes) - Euuhmm, Aaaah, did you poor out the bongwater?

She was chill about it though, didn't even respond, just said wake up

Slurpeee · #**1514** (**permalink**) 12-26-2007, 06:54 AM

Man o Man i got a few...

One of the very first times i got RIPPED, i thought i could make pizza or something, so i cooked it and let it cool down on the stove top. Few minutes passed and i grabbed the pan, took me about 4 seconds when i dropped it and screamed to my ripped roomate, "I can't tell if its hot or cold!!!!" He laughed so hard...later that day i had a huge 1 pound bag of salad, it looked sooo good so i took a bowl out, i ended up just putting the dressing on whole bag of lettuce, and just eating out of that, ate about half a pound and realized it laughing hysterically... on the SAME night we were talking about when we were high how sweet a fat sack of pot feels through a plastic baggy, just then i reached into an 8 foot high cubbard, i felt this bag of food, i think it was like some bread and i thought i discovered an entire sack of hidden pot hahahha ( I think it was like the 5th time i ever smoked... and it was 3 solid bowls of some nice frosty northern lights )

I've dropped 3 full mountain dew cups at Taco Bell a few times hahaha

BUT

The best Stoner mistake EVER happed to me twice on the same night.

Me and 2 buddies smoked a few solid large bowls and went to see simpsons movie. I was SOOOO high, i forgot i was high and just started zoning out staring ahead not really hearnig anything around me thinking about my child hood ( i love thinking about old shit like that stoned

) Anyway, i drove to the movie theater ( 1/2 mile, so i could do the drive ) and i was listening to music just blazed and i was going maybe 5 miles an hour looking for a parking spot. Last second i see this speed bump, i SLAMMED on my brakes and screamed like a kid because the bump looked like a mountain when i was high LOL. So we get in the movie theatre, and if you ever have seen Simpsons movie, you know Ralph the retarded kid hums the 20th century fox jingle, which is funny itself, but i thought it was these 10 little black kids sitting in front of me humming it together! I don't think i've laughed so hard in public in my entire life.

EuphMcD · #**1515** (**permalink**) 12-26-2007, 09:45 AM

alright so I usually smoke in my car in one of the parking lots on campus at my school, because I'm just too lazy to go anywhere else. so one afternoon I'm just smoking in my car already pretty high, and this green van rolls in to the parking lot, so I put my bowl out of site just in case, and the guy pulls up about 50 feet to my left, facing me, parked the wrong way in the spots, if that makes any sense. I can just barely see him but he just looks like really old guy wearing huge black sunglasses, so he opens up his door, but just sits there in his car. so I'm freaking out because I have no idea 1. why he parked like that, 2. why he opened his door, and 3. why he's just sitting there. so he sits there for what seems like 20 minutes (probably just about 5 because I'm stoned as hell) so I decide to go across the parking lot to another spot, so now I'm across the parking lot, facing him, and I can see in his car and he's still just sitting there, so I'm freaking out because I think some old dude died in his car in the parking lot, but then he finally gets out. but then I get even more freaked out because he has what looks like a badge on his shirt and starts doing what looks exactly like talking in to a walkie talkie, so I think he some old dude undercover FBI dude (ridiculous, I know, but I was stoned

) reporting me and calling for backup. and then this other dude in an SUV pulls in to a spot kind of close to mine, wearing work out clothes, and starts doing laps around the parking lot, so ofcourse I think he's some undercover FBI agent too and they're both working together to catch all the pot-smoking college kids. but it turns out that the first dude was just maintenance dude (the "badge" was his nametag) having a smoke, which to my stoned ass looked like talking in to a walkie talkie, so he finally leaves and so does the dude excercizing and I finish up my bowl and get the hell out of there. I'm gonna have to find a different spot to smoke in during the day.

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#1501 (permalink) 12-09-2007, 02:20 AM
puscifer Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Probably Texas, I think. Posts: 15	The big "duh" Yesterday one of my friends and I donated plasma. While donating I passed out and still felt lightheaded while leaving. Being stoners, we went straight to a local headshop where I bought my first pipe (woo!) with the money from donating...and so we had to go break it in that night -of course. We get home and hot box a very small tent with this new pipe and chill on the couch for a while. (One bowl has completely inhilated us because we are still feeling weird from donating plasma). I try to get off the couch to get a glass of water, but I stood up too quickly. I began to pass out in the kitchen and tried to sit down, but fell in mid-sit and hit my head on the wall. While coming out of blacking out I thought I was coming out of a salvia trip I took about a month ago and everything I had lived since then was just a dream. Anyway...being lightheaded + high = a BIG mistake. (don't donate and get high in the same 2/3 hour period, it's dangerous) Oh yeah, I've also tried to put my friend's ash catcher into the top of her bong after taking a hit. I only realized that was where it didn't go when it didn't fit. - I've also mistaken the same ash catcher as a really cool pipe.

#1502 (permalink) 12-09-2007, 06:46 AM
hozomeen nevernude Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the river Posts: 512	I had been working in the kitchen of an upscale family owned restaurant (upscale for the city of 30,000). I usually smoked a few bowls before work. I was poor so only bought shitty weed, but once in a while I'd splurge on dank. So I get a bag of some very nice, stinky dank one morning and blaze my usual couple bowls, but it knocks me on my ass. It takes me awhile to get out the door. But everything's going alright, I'm prepping food and getting shit ready in the kitchen. Then I go to make some ranch dressing. I did this 7 times a week. I knew exactly how to make the dressing...except for some reason, as I was pulling out the ingredients from the cooler, I grabbed the cream cheese instead of the sour cream. I remember looking at the cream cheese thinking, "maaaan it would feel wicked to mash that up with my fingers." So I mix all the ingredients and am enjoying the feeling as I mix them up with my hands. After experiencing very amusing sensations it registers that this isn't the right consistency for dressing, and look down into the bowl seeing, oddly, a big bowl of smashed cream cheese, not sour cream. How could this have happened? I asked myself. I thought back to the minutes leading up to my departure from home and realized I was simply stoned out of my gourd. For the curious, I managed to put most of that shit in squirt bottles and labeled them "ranch dressing" before my boss could see my fuckup. None of the customers noticed. I don't know about you, but that last fact kind of scares me.

#1503 (permalink) 12-09-2007, 08:31 AM
random_umphreak Registered User Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 23	my biggest mistake wasnt really all that big more like awkward. it all started at school that day (i was a freshman) and i was talking to my friend ramsey who was a senior and he's like "hey man were rippin bongs at my house after school u wanna come" and never smoking a bong before i said yeah if he can give me a ride which he could. so we get there and theres probably 8 people and we've got 7 grams and 2 bongs, one was a mini 1 foot bong and the other was a 3 footer and considering out of the 8 people there probably 4 were giant drug dealers at my school it was some mondo ass shit, i get as stoned as ive ever been in my life and i put in visine before i get home. i walk in and i make small talk with my dad and im paranoid as fuck, and i leave for my room but before hand he says "oh yeah i got u subway". that was a gift from god. so i go up to my room and its around 4:30 by now eat subway and fall asleep at around 5:30. the next day my dad questions me why i just went up to my room so early in the day and never came down and i just said i was tired. but my dad was suspicious as fuck

#1504 (permalink) 12-10-2007, 11:57 PM
punraba Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 114	bump.

#1505 (permalink) 12-12-2007, 05:05 PM
Chronik-Judge Bongloads sir? Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,733 Blog Entries: 2	Light cig and put it back on my ear Leave weed related gargbage around Leave weed on my desk __________________ MY PC GROW (LED + FLUO) 2 WhiteWiddowXSkunkClones

#1506 (permalink) 12-14-2007, 05:14 PM
Reddy Johnston Poke and Toke. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 180	Bumpity bumpbump. __________________

#1507 (permalink) 12-15-2007, 04:18 AM
huecotoph Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 236 Blog Entries: 1	After getting caught in traffic on the highway, me and a friend decide to turn around and head home instead. We exit and then get back on the on ramp, when turn to my friend and say " OH NO WE ARE GOING THE SAME WAY AGAIN, WE WERE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY BEFORE TOO!" Seeing as how we are both faded, neither of us fully assess what i've just declared. So we are sitting there bitching and moaning about how stupid we are when we both turn to each other and crack up laughing "Dont we always drive on the right side of the road!?!?!". Man i felt pretty dense that day.

#1509 (permalink) 12-18-2007, 08:09 AM
grassmaster420 Registered User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 4	so one night im chillin with my uncle and all of his friends at my uncles house. we have some dank ass weed and are smokin out of the bubbler. well after about 2-3 bowls im baked and were packing another one (it cashes on me) so i take the bubbler and flip it upside down to knock out the ash and spill water EVERYWHERE it was pretty funny though

#1510 (permalink) 12-18-2007, 08:24 AM
TradSkin Kamel Red Smoker Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 205	First post here, this story isnt to good So me and my friend were at this gay guys house with these 2 girls one of which my friend liked and i knew the gay guy from middle school (didnt know he was gay back then) so i was like eh w/e hes still a cool guy even tho hes a dick. Anyway, sum drama starts happening between girl #1 and gay guy #1 so me and my friend leave after 1 40 of steely and a few bowls of weed, so we went to walk to this other guys house and forget the car cause we were paranoid about driving while stoned So we walk and relaized we went the wrong way and we walked for like 1 hour to find out he wasnt awake and he wasnt even in his room when we tried to wake him up, cause he passed out in his garage So we start walking back, go to a 24/7 gas station and its like 3:30 so we buy 1 lemonade and 1 tea for each and drank that shit down so were walking back still high/buzzed from the 40 and we see this dude, with no pants on, ass naked, getting into his truck with just his shirt on and when he went to get in the truck he flashed his ass (he didnt know we were here) and i was like wtf and my friend looked and he had to hike up his shirt to get in his truck we were like wtf and were busting up laughing and at this point we were 5 minutes from his car so we run as fast we can to his car while laughing hard as shit cause we cant beleive it, cause we stared at the guy for like 10 seconds before he even got in his truck.and start following the guy and we got next to him and he was dressing for the air force hahahaha thats my story, its longer than what it should be, enjoy, sry bout my grammar/spelling edit: fuck this is in the wrong thread, this is for mistakes, and following that guy was not a mistake haha, ima move this post, sry guys :P Last edited by TradSkin; 12-18-2007 at 08:38 AM.

#1511 (permalink) 12-23-2007, 06:16 AM
DeviousDewbster Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: A² Posts: 41	Went to hot box my car so I took off my brand new northface coat so it wouldn't smell and put it on the top of my car, procede to get high as a motherfucker, peel out of the parking lot i had parked in and only realize I lost my coat 20 minutes later at Mcdonalds when I reach for my wallet and find nothing but thin air. =P fun stuff

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

#1512 (permalink) 12-23-2007, 07:41 AM
turd_with_a_u "wish i had some dro..." Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 5	dude, gotoakellershow (page 34), you sound like a bad liar, not saying you are lying, but you just made it too dramatic and thuggish, and detailed. usually stoners forget the details, as do most normal people. i dunno, it just sounded like a big fake story to me. no bad reps on you tho if you were really jus tellin the straight facts. i have a few good mistakes/stories, but i prolly should wait untill i can type without taking a half-hour for one post. maybe tommorrow i will.

#1513 (permalink) 12-24-2007, 07:26 PM
Bencker Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Revolting. Posts: 3,290	My mom woke me up this morning, and the conversation went like this: Mom: Adam, wake up. Me (really tired, didn't even open my eyes) - Euuhmm, Aaaah, did you poor out the bongwater? She was chill about it though, didn't even respond, just said wake up

#1514 (permalink) 12-26-2007, 06:54 AM
Slurpeee Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Kzoo Posts: 112	Man o Man i got a few... One of the very first times i got RIPPED, i thought i could make pizza or something, so i cooked it and let it cool down on the stove top. Few minutes passed and i grabbed the pan, took me about 4 seconds when i dropped it and screamed to my ripped roomate, "I can't tell if its hot or cold!!!!" He laughed so hard...later that day i had a huge 1 pound bag of salad, it looked sooo good so i took a bowl out, i ended up just putting the dressing on whole bag of lettuce, and just eating out of that, ate about half a pound and realized it laughing hysterically... on the SAME night we were talking about when we were high how sweet a fat sack of pot feels through a plastic baggy, just then i reached into an 8 foot high cubbard, i felt this bag of food, i think it was like some bread and i thought i discovered an entire sack of hidden pot hahahha ( I think it was like the 5th time i ever smoked... and it was 3 solid bowls of some nice frosty northern lights ) I've dropped 3 full mountain dew cups at Taco Bell a few times hahaha BUT The best Stoner mistake EVER happed to me twice on the same night. Me and 2 buddies smoked a few solid large bowls and went to see simpsons movie. I was SOOOO high, i forgot i was high and just started zoning out staring ahead not really hearnig anything around me thinking about my child hood ( i love thinking about old shit like that stoned ) Anyway, i drove to the movie theater ( 1/2 mile, so i could do the drive ) and i was listening to music just blazed and i was going maybe 5 miles an hour looking for a parking spot. Last second i see this speed bump, i SLAMMED on my brakes and screamed like a kid because the bump looked like a mountain when i was high LOL. So we get in the movie theatre, and if you ever have seen Simpsons movie, you know Ralph the retarded kid hums the 20th century fox jingle, which is funny itself, but i thought it was these 10 little black kids sitting in front of me humming it together! I don't think i've laughed so hard in public in my entire life.

#1515 (permalink) 12-26-2007, 09:45 AM
EuphMcD Awesome Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4	alright so I usually smoke in my car in one of the parking lots on campus at my school, because I'm just too lazy to go anywhere else. so one afternoon I'm just smoking in my car already pretty high, and this green van rolls in to the parking lot, so I put my bowl out of site just in case, and the guy pulls up about 50 feet to my left, facing me, parked the wrong way in the spots, if that makes any sense. I can just barely see him but he just looks like really old guy wearing huge black sunglasses, so he opens up his door, but just sits there in his car. so I'm freaking out because I have no idea 1. why he parked like that, 2. why he opened his door, and 3. why he's just sitting there. so he sits there for what seems like 20 minutes (probably just about 5 because I'm stoned as hell) so I decide to go across the parking lot to another spot, so now I'm across the parking lot, facing him, and I can see in his car and he's still just sitting there, so I'm freaking out because I think some old dude died in his car in the parking lot, but then he finally gets out. but then I get even more freaked out because he has what looks like a badge on his shirt and starts doing what looks exactly like talking in to a walkie talkie, so I think he some old dude undercover FBI dude (ridiculous, I know, but I was stoned ) reporting me and calling for backup. and then this other dude in an SUV pulls in to a spot kind of close to mine, wearing work out clothes, and starts doing laps around the parking lot, so ofcourse I think he's some undercover FBI agent too and they're both working together to catch all the pot-smoking college kids. but it turns out that the first dude was just maintenance dude (the "badge" was his nametag) having a smoke, which to my stoned ass looked like talking in to a walkie talkie, so he finally leaves and so does the dude excercizing and I finish up my bowl and get the hell out of there. I'm gonna have to find a different spot to smoke in during the day.