Pissed and unsure how to procede

[Elchsgeist]

I just got an angry text message from my mother saying "I can't believe you knew [my brother's name] was smoking the funny stuff again and you didn't say anything. He has been completely cut off, a major problem in the past few days. Maybe I should do the same to you since you think his behavior is OK"

Apparently my younger brother got caught smoking for the second time by my mother (yes, she really did call it "the funny stuff"). Of course, I smoke all the time and I've never been caught. Hell, I've never even had a close call.

But, upon being caught, his cellphone was taken from him, and a bunch of text messages were found, incriminating me and several of his/my friends. My messages are usually pretty coded, so she still doesn't know I smoke. But, as you saw, she's mad at me for condoning the fact that he smokes. And apparently she now knows a bunch of his friends who smoke, and even knows who one of his dealers is. And these are people she mostly already knew, too, who live just down the street, which makes it even worse.

I just can't believe he's stupid enough to never delete his text messages. But I'm off at college, 400 miles away, so I can't really do anything about it. I'm really not sure how to procede; should I try and defend my friends? Or should I do my best to stay out of it, in attempt to save my own ass?



tl;dr my brother got caught smoking and unwittingly incriminated a bunch of people, myself included to a lesser extent. I'm not exactly sure what to do about it, or if I should do anything.

[Asaniro]

Holy crap man.
Your little brother should have known to never snitch on anyone or keep messages that were about weed available to ANYONE..
You should let your little brother learn his lesson but do your best to teach him to stay safe.

[heyitsmeallen]

damn dude.
the only thing i can think of would be to say your not a rat and just because you knew doesnt mean you condoned it but he is your brother and brothers have a code.
they have eachothers back.

[Elchsgeist]

Originally Posted by Asaniro

Holy crap man.
Your little brother should have known to never snitch on anyone or keep messages that were about weed available to ANYONE..
You should let your little brother learn his lesson but do your best to teach him to stay safe.

The first time he got caught, he was really good about just taking the fall, and not giving any names. I never even got questioned about it. But this time she took the cellphone, and read the messages, and that made all the difference. Apparently after she did that, he broke down and started speaking more freely

Originally Posted by heyitsmeallen

damn dude.
the only thing i can think of would be to say your not a rat and just because you knew doesnt mean you condoned it but he is your brother and brothers have a code.
they have eachothers back.

I said "I wasn't about to rat him out; I apologize for that" and she understood that fine. She's not acting angry at me at all now, but she wants me to make sure he stops smoking. Which puts me in a tough position for obvious reasons.

I also don't know what's going to become of my friends that were incriminated. I called several of them and gave them a heads up. They're obviously not very happy, but knowing my mother, she may not even do anything about them.

[HazeGlazed]

Yea he must not have a GF cause you gotta delete the texts. Idk man sounds like shes set in her ways defending it wouldnt help IMO.

[elavatorman89]

well if she is cool with you thats good. your going off to college so it not like your gonna get caught by her lol. things should cool down. hopefully your lil bro doesnt do this again lol

[Cactus_budz]

She wants you to get him to quit smoking? Is it that he looks up to you and wants to be like you, or something? I dont know, I don't think you should be held responsible for him choosing to toke, and you shouldn't be responsible to get him to quit either. B

But your mom is just being a mom, what can ya do.

[Johnisriot]

Maybe ask her to smoke?

[Libertarian]

The defense you want to build here should have almost nothing to do with marijuana. You can roll up with all of the statistics in the world and she can choose to believe the government sponsored "facts" instead.

Besides, if your brother lives with your mom, in her house, and is dependent upon her money for his cellphone, wellbeing, etc. whether or not he gets to continue smoking is NOT upon for discussion. Her house = her rules. However, whether or not he gets penalized remains up for grabs.

The defense you need to build has to do with your brother: this is the second time he was "caught" which means that he's been doing it for some period of time (hopefully months for argument's sake). You need to get your mom to look at what specific effects marijuana has had on your brother.

Hopefully he's maintained his relationships, grades, and involvement in (non-weed) extracurricular activities. It's wrong to break her rules, he needs to quit weed until he can support himself, but there's no real need to punish him if there's no real harm that has been done. People are told not to smoke weed because it will turn them into lazy stoners who fail out of school and live off unemployment. If his grades are good, he has friends who care about him and he still plays sports (or whatever his thing is) then he's clearly not headed down that path and your mother has no reason to punish him.

He needs to quit simply because he cannot support himself, however, there should be no real cause for concern until there is a real consequence.

[Elchsgeist]

Originally Posted by Cactus_budz

She wants you to get him to quit smoking? Is it that he looks up to you and wants to be like you, or something?

My bro and I have always been pretty close, and I think she believes I'll have more influence over him than she will.

Originally Posted by Johnisriot

Maybe ask her to smoke?

haha, that just might work

[Cactus_budz]

Originally Posted by Elchsgeist

My bro and I have always been pretty close, and I think she believes I'll have more influence over him than she will.

If I was in your shoes I'd tell him to lay off the weed and only smoke it when it's safe, like if he is spending the night at a friends house. Don't smoke at the house, don't keep weed at the house, don't come home high, and NEVER text anything about it. Also if he gets caught he needs to take the blame solely on himself. He should say you told him that you don't want him smoking weed, but he did it anyway. That's only if you two don't care if he lies of course.

[Tea?]

To be honest....
I came into this thread thinking that I would see explanations from people about how to put down the toilet seat and pull up your pants.
Glad to see I was wrong.

[Elchsgeist]

Originally Posted by Tea?

To be honest....
I came into this thread thinking that I would see explanations from people about how to put down the toilet seat and pull up your pants.
Glad to see I was wrong.

Oh man I lol'd

I didn't even make that connection