Friends, they come and go.

[Cali Ounces]

Just curious, how many of you guys have had longtime friendships go to shit?

This guy i've known since second grade, kicked with him been good buds ever since. even lived with him for a while over by the coast.

ever since i can remember, we've been friends. like if you see his ass im sure to be around and vice versa. and i noticed that i wasnt really doing my own thing so much as "our" thing if that makes any sense. if i was kicking it with anyone, he was there. dude would call me everyday, like literally everyday to chill.

not to mention he kinda has the alpha male personality, dude gets mad girls, is pretty strong and seems to want to appear superior, stronger or smarter in almost every situation. so for a chilled out dude like me, its kind of harsh on my mellow a lot of the time.

well this constant presence started irritating me, like things in his personality started rubbing me the wrong way. . . and i didnt really feel like being around him as much. so i would just kick it with other friends and not really call him or talk to him as much.

a few weeks after this he comes over to talk to my brother about something, and we had a talk outside.

I told him that i felt sort of suffocated by our friendship, and that i didnt want him to think that i feel ill will toward him but im just doing my own thing livng my life as i wish to. and i had been dreading this talk because in the fifteen years ive known him he gets butthurt over any sort of criticism or truthful admissions.

Welp, yesterday was his twenty first birthday and my brother called me, asking me if i wanted to go over to the dudes house. I said no, i mean if i havent seen a cat in a few weeks by choice im not gonna go chill just because its their birthday. to me that seems fake as hell.

turns out he told my brother that he thinks that ive changed for the worse because of the psychadellics ive done. specifically dxm. . .

Now its like a guilt trip is attempting to be put on me because i choose not to hang out with this guy. Of course ive changed but it has nothing to do with the drugs (sure they have an influence but nowhere near strong) people change, everything changes. Its my life, ill associate with whoever the fuck i want, and cease to chill with anyone i choose. We had a good friendship but shit, people change and im sick of acting like i want to hang on to a friendship im over keeping on life support.

I'm almost 21 and i dont feel like i need a "best friend". I hate being referred to as someone's best friend, i got a real close group of homies i count on for different things. BFF is some elementary shit in my eyes. Fuck people trying to make me feel bad for following what my heart feels, worry about you. im just trying to do me. .. . shit.

/rant.

[kinkz]

just like you said, friends come and go. and it's good that you're not fake and let him know exactly how you feel. and if he can't handle it, then why bother trying? so keep doing you and don't let anybody get in the way of that.

i had a fallin out with a good friend recently and we've been friends for 10 years. she always acts different when she's around other people and not at all how she acts like in front of me. it gets tiring seeing a two faced person change in an instant like that, but whatever, you're just better off without some people in your life. because there'll always be new people to take their place.

[eyeg0tgr33ns]

For sure man, I totally dig what you're trying to say.

Seems like you wanna move on and do you're own thing, which is your choice.

But I dunno, dissin' a friend you've known forever on his 21st birthday is kinda lame.

[MarleySubs]

Originally Posted by Cali Ounces

Just curious, how many of you guys have had longtime friendships go to shit?

This guy i've known since second grade, kicked with him been good buds ever since. even lived with him for a while over by the coast.

ever since i can remember, we've been friends. like if you see his ass im sure to be around and vice versa. and i noticed that i wasnt really doing my own thing so much as "our" thing if that makes any sense. if i was kicking it with anyone, he was there. dude would call me everyday, like literally everyday to chill.

not to mention he kinda has the alpha male personality, dude gets mad girls, is pretty strong and seems to want to appear superior, stronger or smarter in almost every situation. so for a chilled out dude like me, its kind of harsh on my mellow a lot of the time.

well this constant presence started irritating me, like things in his personality started rubbing me the wrong way. . . and i didnt really feel like being around him as much. so i would just kick it with other friends and not really call him or talk to him as much.

a few weeks after this he comes over to talk to my brother about something, and we had a talk outside.

I told him that i felt sort of suffocated by our friendship, and that i didnt want him to think that i feel ill will toward him but im just doing my own thing livng my life as i wish to. and i had been dreading this talk because in the fifteen years ive known him he gets butthurt over any sort of criticism or truthful admissions.

Welp, yesterday was his twenty first birthday and my brother called me, asking me if i wanted to go over to the dudes house. I said no, i mean if i havent seen a cat in a few weeks by choice im not gonna go chill just because its their birthday. to me that seems fake as hell.

turns out he told my brother that he thinks that ive changed for the worse because of the psychadellics ive done. specifically dxm. . .

Now its like a guilt trip is attempting to be put on me because i choose not to hang out with this guy. Of course ive changed but it has nothing to do with the drugs (sure they have an influence but nowhere near strong) people change, everything changes. Its my life, ill associate with whoever the fuck i want, and cease to chill with anyone i choose. We had a good friendship but shit, people change and im sick of acting like i want to hang on to a friendship im over keeping on life support.

I'm almost 21 and i dont feel like i need a "best friend". I hate being referred to as someone's best friend, i got a real close group of homies i count on for different things. BFF is some elementary shit in my eyes. Fuck people trying to make me feel bad for following what my heart feels, worry about you. im just trying to do me. .. . shit.

/rant.

helll yeahhh nukka. I know exactly what you mean. I've been there about 3 times now, it's bullshit. I hate the way some people think about certain things especially with the best friend shit. If you've had pretty tight times with your friend, and you want to keep it goin, keep that shit goin, but if you want to live on and do your own shit. Leave it all be.

I feel ya man.

[whitewarrior]

Dude im definitely a firm believer in the notion that certain people come into our lives for certain reasons...they may stay, or they may go, but you got what you needed from them at the time and vice versa...

Just gotta keep doing you bro, thats all you can do.

[panda123]

I agree with you until you didnt go to his b-day that seems pretty mean in my book

[wh1tn3y420]

yea it sucks to stop chillin with someone uve known for tht long. same thing happened to me with my 3 closest friends earlier this year. still kinda sucks u didnt go to his 21st b day but try and keep some contact with him u dont want to completeleey cut off someone who was always there.

[Oracle]

Originally Posted by eyeg0tgr33ns

But I dunno, dissin' a friend you've known forever on his 21st birthday is kinda lame.

probably the psychedelics.... no matter what if its his birthday and uve known him forever and he want you to come then you should be there and not act like a selfish prick.

[GolgiApparatus]

I remember i was best friends in the world with this dude from kindergarden untill 9th grade.

We were more then brothers....
Then he just turned into an arrogant prick. He was nice enough but all his friends would constantly joke me (i used to be kind of a loser... that was my awkward stage in middle school) and we dont really talk anymore sadly.

[rubbsled]

i'm going to have to agree with a couple people above me. It's one thing to not hang out with someone as ofter (like ALL the time), but to not go over to celebrate his birthday with him is just wrong. It doesn't sound like you guys had a huge fight or anything, just decided not to be with each other 24/7. Don't cut him from your life forever; you guys have known each other for too long just to do that. You could have at least gone over, had a couple drinks, and hung out for a little while.

I will admit you do sound kinda selfish. You're destroying a friendship for the wrong reasons.

I do understand why you don't want to hang out with him as much, but at the very least go chill with him on his bday!

[OneHitter]

Dude, you kinda kicked him to the curb. If you want to add some space just dont pick up your phone all the time. No reason to completely end the freindship. Shit, sometimes I cant fucking stand my main bro but I remember that he's been there for me through some shit and the least I can do is return the favor.

[Cali Ounces]

yep,

i can see how me choosing not to hang out with him on his birthday could be percieved .
but i aint gonna force anything, if it dont come natural.

[Jpecard]

i know exactly what you mean to be honest. One of my friends i've known the longest is the same way, he constantly brags, makes himself out to be much more than he really is and tries to kiss everyones ass. Thing is he only acts like this in groups, he's pretty chill when it's just me and him. I mean he's my boy but i'm being real here.

Like 2 years ago he got a girlfriend, she was stat girl on the wrestling team and I didn't like her all that much. She acted just as cocky as he did, so I pretty much stopped hanging out with him. It's not like i could anyway, he was whipped. Turns out she was cheating on him anyway and they broke up soon after. It took me awhile to act like I used to around him because I hardly chilled with him but I made it back to the stage.

We started smoking together and whatnot, I brought him into the game. I'm starting to regret doing it, all he does is wake and bake and smoke all day. He'll never match me up anymore, so I quit smoking him up. He doesn't smoke just to chill out after a long day, he openly admitted to smoking just to get "fucked up", which I think is the wrong reason.

He got a new girlfriend, she's alright, better than his ex. She's more flexible about stuff and lets him chill with his friends. But then he really hurt me by skipping out to go to the beach with his girl and her friends instead of my graduation party. I mean i've known him since 94' and he knew this girl for 4 months tops, that really hurt. I'm still cool with him but I have some ill feeling toward him.

To the OP, I know where you're coming from. There's some people you just don't wanna bother facing again. I'm kind of in your position now, working 40 hours a week, going to the gym and chillin out I don't have much time for my friends on the weekdays and just want to chill out on the weekends. We all like to chill out and be in solitude sometimes, I think it helps us find ourselves and get our itinerary straight.

[The_Lotus_Eater]

I've got a really good friend like you were saying except we have like an unsaid agreement like if we need time to chill by ourselves we do, etc. Oh well, hope everything turns out alright.

[PheenixTears420]

Yeah man I understand what you are saying when you say that BFFs are elementary school type shit. I lost a few long term friendships because they ended up just hitting me up for money or weed. It was fucking annoying. And the worst of it was that they'd bring their friends, and expect me to pay for them or smoke them up. I seriously hate freeloaders.