Crazy stories involving guns and robbers

[fatblunts9-5-4]

Shit man, theres a reason why I dont get robbed and thats becuase I dont fuck around. This one time these kids tried to come in my house with knives ( Knives? lol, I know. My car was in the shop, it was a would be burglary), sadly for them, my redneck friend was showing me his shotguns, rifles, and hand guns.

I hear a window break and grab the first 2 hand guns which happened to be a Taurus .45 cal and a S & W urban tactical .40 and my buddy grabs his Mossberg tactical 12 gauge and we quietly run down the stairs and hear them moving around in the garage, which i keep damn near empty so we just sit at the door waiting for them............

They open the door to probably the most shocking thing they ever saw in thier life, a fuckin huge shot gun and two bad ass hand cannons. Me and my buddy immediantly start screaming GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND! ON THE GROUND YOU FUCKIN FAGGOT! MAKE A SOUND AND I BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT!

Meanwhile I notice they both had knives that they dropped when they saw the guns. This makes me go damn near crazy and I start hitting them with the gun as they cry and beg for mercy. This kids like PLEASE DONT KILL ME MAN and he repeats it like 50 times and my buddy who is on the phone with the cops hands me the phone puts down the shotgun and takes out his buck knife. He stands the kid up, punches him square in the nose, kicks his legs out and puts him in a knife lock ( think headlock + knife)

The kid pees his pants and just starts death squirming and my budddy says FOR GODS SAKE, YOUR THE ROBBER, NOT US, IF WE WANTED YOU DEAD YOUD ALREADY BEEN DONE IN as I tell the police in the most professional way, "The subjects are detained and the situation is under control, have two of your finest come escort these degenerates to the county incarceration facility." (I dont know why but, I always do that when I talk to cops.)

Suprisingly the 911 operator actually really calmed me down but I had to hit them a few more times when I looked at thier IDs and saw that these were the guys that were known for robberies in my neighboring city.

Ofcourse I put away any and all weed related stuff and the police arrive to see a small armory in my living room but luckily all the firearms were 100% legal and registered to my buddy who is part of the state militia. The scumbags are cuffed and the police cant stop laughing when they see the bruises on both thier face and the wet spot. It was sooooo weird, they were patting us on the back and cracking jokes about how it would feel to walk into a house you were trying to rob and be greeted by a guy with a huge shotgun and a guy with 2 hand guns.

I was so weirded out I even outright said "I beat em around a bit, im real sorry." and the cops explode into laughter. One of them even has to sit down and start slapping his knee. They say, "Son, you had more firepower the half the county and you didnt shoot these guys. In this state, if anyone breaks into your house, you can shoot to kill. You dont understand how much paper work you saved us."

They assure me its random becuase these guys have hit so many houses, which is a great relief, and leave me with thier cards and a bunch of solid handshakes and compliments. The cops leave, I patch the window, and load up a .5 of kush, a scoop of kief, some hash, some opium, and more kief into my skyglass. and replay the situation in my mind from a stoned point of view and just say "Whoa. Wow. That really happened?"


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[noonecares]

haha great story man.

[Bencker]

Haha that's like the best story ever. +rep

[cornerthat]

hahaha thats awesome. those little bitches were unlucky

[iblazei]

Haha one of the best stories i read on this site got anymore:P

[Vikesfan911]

That was actually the best story I've read in a while.
One of the only stories where the cops are on your side type thing.
Also.. solid way to handle it. You got to rough em up a little and made one of the guys piss his pants. I bet what happened with you guys will actually make them think twice about breaking into people's houses to steal shit again.

[db4lyfe]

damn me and my friends once where chilling just smoking having a good time when someone tried to break into the garage he almost had it open untill he heard something across the street and bolted so my friends and i went into the garage and got the smart idea to hook a car batterie to the garage door handle know almost for sure he was gonna be coming back we wait 1 hour and sure enough he did and when he grabbed that handle me and my friends almost shat ourselves in laughter i think i let him off easy cause i could of shot him once he entered but i was being nice

[Starlore]

Awesome story man. Best one i've read in a while, too.

[scoobydooby67]

i have dreams of that exact same thing.

seriously, id love someone to try to dick me and then i make the fucker cry.

[Cork]

You guys handled that great. Although as the cop said, you should have shot to kill. And know me or my dad, if we were to get robbed, the robber would have atleast one hole in them, but most likely not lethal unless necessary. We have 2 moss. 12 guage pumps, one by our main door we use and one sitting in the middle of the house in a corner. Always easy access.

But damn, such a good story. Theres nothing wrong with smacking them around a bit either, they deff deserved it.

[LarryBuddz]

crazy shit. good read. im high.

[scoobydooby67]

Originally Posted by Cork

And know me or my dad, if we were to get robbed, the robber would have atleast one hole in them, but most likely not lethal unless necessary.

thats a fucking awful idea.

if you shoot, you better fucking kill them.

there are countless cases in nc where the robbers have successfully sued the homeowners for shooting them.

with our fucked up court system, you better blow their fucking brains out.

why not? theyre stealing, so theyre lives must suck anyway.

put the fuckers out of their misery.

[zacharysg]

hahaha
very nice story :]

[Tuk2]

OMG...this thread is just all wrong. I bet you think youre some hard-ass Rambo-type dude who got some bad guys like an action hero would. They were punks with knives and you beat them up and threatened to kill them AFTER you were in control of the situation/had them detained? And nobody thinks this is wrong? The world has indeed gone to shit.

You cant all say you would shoot to kill an intruder until the situation happens. Would you really take a life over something so menial as petty theft? Would you really risk throwing away YOUR life over harming somebody else weather they're the offender or not? I wouldnt use force unless there was no doubt in my mind I was directly in harms way. You all are fucking nuts.

Originally Posted by scoobydooby67

why not? theyre stealing, so theyre lives must suck anyway.

put the fuckers out of their misery.

Alot of them are low lives and belong behind bars but thats like saying youre a criminal that adds nothing to society because you break the law and smoke pot.

[Forbiddenfruit]

Originally Posted by Tuk2

OMG...this thread is just all wrong. I bet you think youre some hard-ass Rambo-type dude who got some bad guys like an action hero would. They were punks with knives and you beat them up and threatened to kill them AFTER you were in control of the situation/had them detained? And nobody thinks this is wrong? The world has indeed gone to shit.

You cant all say you would shoot to kill an intruder until the situation happens. Would you really take a life over something so menial as petty theft? Would you really risk throwing away YOUR life over harming somebody else weather they're the offender or not? I wouldnt use force unless there was no doubt in my mind I was directly in harms way. You all are fucking nuts.



Alot of them are low lives and belong behind bars but thats like saying youre a criminal that adds nothing to society because you break the law and smoke pot.

It would of been wrong if they had shot the robbers, but they didn't. They put them in there place and called the cops.

I'd hate to see you get robbed. You'd probably be thinking "shit this is wrong if i protect myself, mine as well get shot"