worst 5 days of my life

[Retroshark]

starting on weds, or thurs, when i found out that Head4Life had OD'd, being a good friend of mine, i was pretty upset considering i spoke to him probably right before he went down, but the next day, my best friend Mia came over to talk and chill and we ended up stayin up late chillin and doin a little yay, something i tried for the first time this week. she was talking bout shit with her family and so was i...

onto thurs. see mia and her BF in the am and were just chillin smokin, but that night, i picked up a 20 bag of yay from her just to share with a friend of mines GF who wanted to blow a little. in that time, i guess while mia was at the resteraunt she was at, they tried to give her an intervention type deal, and she and her BF ended up comin to get me and i chilled with her at her place, she was extremely emotional at that point and it really upset me.

friday. wake up and chill. pretty much chill all day while mia and her bf are up in another town pickin up cotton candy and offloading a few things.

they get back at 4-5am and come to my place. this is where it all goes to hell. we start talking, and talking leads to mia crying more, and then shit really starts coming out. all about her coke issues right now and then while shes talkin (and smoking cigs in my dorm room with me and her BF) i jump to my comp to che my emaail.

i found out my mom had take an offer and was negotiating on our house in ATL. so that REALLY tore me up, her partner just broke it off with her so she has no reason to move to another place or even consider moving up north still, which is what she was going to be doing.

we all stayed up thru the night doin yay and smoking alot of weed. at around 1pm the next day, about a half o later, maybe about 2g's of white (i only did about .5) amd over a pack of cigs, we went to mias place to chill.we just laid around all saturday thinking and talkin more. but things were pickin up and i was a lot more emotionlaly stable at that point, along with mia.

we all decide that since we have chilled out so much from the night before, well pick up some rolls an just chill and roll and continue to get stuff out...

well, as we were rollin i call my moms EX to ask her about the house ordeal, since shes my only real contributing adult in my life. she told me the offer was weeks old and not only negotiated on but accepted. i was like what???

my mom had lied and told me the house was not yet sold when in reality, it will be my home in ATL for about 2 weeks more. an i never was even warned there was an offer made until the day before i find out its sold.

about an hour later, mias boyfriend finds out his best friend had OD'd on heroine in a aforeign country.



yea, you can imagine what happened from then on. 3 people, all rolling, all having major major things happen at that one point in time, we literally were all just like wow.... its been like 5 days together nearly 24 hours a day, and weve all been here fro eachother as shits happened.

i cant really put this all into rational sentances or maybe it just is meaningless to anyone but me.

i missed weds thurs classes and todays class. im extremely upset right now, im living in indiana for school, and my mom is up and movin herself out of her house just so she can rent an appt til she finds another state or country to move to. our house in ATL is completely paid off. when she sells it shell have 400,000 or more in her account and judging by the fact ive barely received a penny frm her for anything at all in the last 5 years, i doubt shit will change, and her Ex agreed.

im holding back a lot of upset right now, and now the week has started im having an even harder time dealing.

my spring break plans to go to langerado got ruined because none of my car parts came and i got ripped off by some DICK on them. i cant drive hom so i have to fly, and now ill be spending a week and a half alone in my house, just me, left to pack up the house and get my "Car SHIT" out of the garage.


im really at a loss for what else to say. ive lost so many friends because everyone thinks im just sitting around doing jack shit just cause im an art major and dont have much work outside of class, and the fact that i hang out with people who do drugs, of any kind.

i cant really go on any more about this, its making me too upset. im staring at bud, about 20 bars, some coke and probably other stuff around here. im not in a good mindset and im keeping shit to a minimum but im having a lot of trouble holding on here. the idea of me mia and her BF plus another girl livin up here at school in a house together next year has been bouncing around for a few weeks and tghis weekend has made it a for sure thing. i just wish they were in the next room right now because i dont know what to do with myself

[NJtoker187]

Damn man that really sucks, but shit will get better. Shocked to hear about head4life, mann I just talked to him the other day on here...what'd he O.D. on? Srry to hear what your going though, best of luck your way.

[weedhead420]

Yo man...I think you need to chill out and revaluate your situation.

The first thing you need to do is get off the powder and the rolls...when you turn to drugs to help ease your problems it never helps. Take your friends OD as a sign that maybe drugs aren't the best thing to be doing.

The second thing you need to do is go for a walk, I know it might be cold where you live but from the sound of things i think some alone time would be good for you right now.When you go for this walk I want you to look around and notice the good things going on in the world, sure your mom might have sold her house but so what...atleast she is still alive and well...Trust me it could be worse.

Also tonight you need to lay off of everything and get a good night of sleep.When you live the lifestyle you have been living the last 5 days you start to think irrationally.

Keep me updated and keep calm....Don't do anything stupid that could make your situation worse. And remeber KEEP OFF THE DRUGS!!!!

[Retroshark]

thank the heavens hes alive, and has been since the incident. hes a great guy and a good friend to me, and fnding that out the morning of all this stuff beginning was just the worst. im not goin into detail about his personal shit, but there is a thread i beleive.

im really not doin well, i think im gona smoke a bowl with some opium

[Evilpig]

Wow man. I really hope things get better. They will, thats for sure. Think happy, put the past behind and move forward. Things will only get better that way.

[Retroshark]

Originally Posted by weedhead420

Yo man...I think you need to chill out and revaluate your situation.

The first thing you need to do is get off the powder and the rolls...when you turn to drugs to help ease your problems it never helps. Take your friends OD as a sign that maybe drugs aren't the best thing to be doing.

The second thing you need to do is go for a walk, I know it might be cold where you live but from the sound of things i think some alone time would be good for you right now.When you go for this walk I want you to look around and notice the good things going on in the world, sure your mom might have sold her house but so what...atleast she is still alive and well...Trust me it could be worse.

Also tonight you need to lay off of everything and get a good night of sleep.When you live the lifestyle you have been living the last 5 days you start to think irrationally.

Keep me updated and keep calm....Don't do anything stupid that could make your situation worse. And remeber KEEP OFF THE DRUGS!!!!

thabks man, i know what your sayin, i aint fuckin with snow in the way you probably imagine. ive yet to do more than a gram total in the entire 5 days that ive been exposed to it and actually tried some. i dont buy it, i wont buy it, and the whole point of us eatin those rolls was just because shit had finally settled down, and for the 2 hours til we got the call about mias BF, we hadnt been feeling as good as that no matter how much other shit wed done, except for talking it out.

im not walkin today its pourin with rain, and im not covering my problems with drugs, im just tryin to get my head strait, and every day i wake up its like everything ive missed is just all of a sudden there on my shoulders again. i slept over 12 hours last night, missed class, have been sleeping well since the one all nighter, but im just so sick over all this.

every time i watched mia start to tear up id start to get teary too. many times just her crying made me cry too. i just spoke to her and just speakin to her made me start to cry. im so upset for her, and her boyfriend, i know i can deal, but what i cant deal with is people so close to me who cant deal.

[Retroshark]

fuck

just got off the phone with my dad in england and found out shit is even worse.

my brother has pretty much withdrawn from the family there, hes going down a very very steap and very short path to self destruction. for once i fear hes in real danger, and i cant even be there to help him.

fuck i cant even type the rest/ fuk

[Retroshark]

im sorry people i may not be around for a while now.


i need some time

[Evilpig]

Don't do anything stupid OK?

[noonecares]

shit man...

my condolonces.. hope shit straightens out

[ThePhantom]

I highly suggest getting rid of any drugs besides marijuana. Those can do NOTHING to help your situation and will only lead to more pain and despair. Being an art major is great, you can get a lot of work in the art field, but you need to really work hard at it because it is competitive. In the mean time, get a job and start saving up some money. Prove to everybody that you can make something of yourself!

[Rhythm of Life]

All I can tell you is as hard as it gets someone will always have it worse. Take the bads things that happened to you because of others and turn it into a learning experience. Make sure your never going to be that person to put your friends and loved ones into that kind of mental stress. Think about the solution, not the problem.

[pbmike15]

Shit man, if I hadn't just smoked my last bowl I would have smoked it for you bro. Keep your head up, I'm in some stressful shit right now too. It sucks but things will get better bro.

[Retroshark]

so mia came over again as i had found out more bad news this morning that is not really important to go into at this point. she came over purely to comfort me, and got the call that has pretty much ended my perceptiion of reality.

her parents are driving down this thursday, taking her car, making her pack up her bags, and come back to chicago with them. not only had she been saving for a trip during break, and working so hard and progressing through what had been a bad addiction, her parents are still taking her home to asses if she should go back to shcool.

she went from using coke daily multiple times to going weeks without it. her parents dont know this, and now my best friend, the only one thats stuck by me may not be coming back after next week, i dont know if ill see her again, i dont know if shes going to be coming back next year, i mean we were literally talking about signing a lease in the next two weeks and now this.

after she left because she had to go and tell the people she was supposed to go on the trip with that she was now not able to, she has to pack her shit, and after just an hour at my place, she left with her BF, and i just broke down for an hour waiting for a response from her message that she was ok.

i have never been so upset for someone else in my entire life, and loosing her to something like her parents misjudgment would kill me.

i cant even bare thinking about it, but i know i have 2 days left to spend some time with her, if shes even able to, and then i may never see her until next year, or if by some miracle, after break.

im in a state of utter dissolusion right now. im supposed to see a show tomorrow night and im going no matter what, i need to have something good happen to get me away from being alone in my room with over 10 different drugs around. right now, ive taken xanax after i had a pannic attack trying to calm down, and ive smoked some weed.

i have to face my mom on saturday, the woman who is ruining my entire life by moving from atlanta, MY home. i dont have a place other than there, and im not living with someone who lies about things like my house being sold two weeks before she tells me. i mean, fuck, i just cant even go on.

im really hoping something turns around soon. my friend was able to throw me 7 bars for 25 bucks and a little .2 nug of purps, and i have about 12 bars in 1mg pills left for the week and the two days im with my mom before she leaves for california once i get to ATL.

im just going to smoke another bowl and watch a movie or tv. i dont have any friends other than mia and alan her bf who i could sit and talk to about this stuff so its pretty much just me alone tonight.

im keeping strong, but this last thing just broke me.

[Lbcxcuhzin]

Theres always a brighter day. Head up man.