Why Being a Fat Stoner on Probation Sucks

[MetaPhex]

Alright I admit, I'm not actually FAT, but I do have a pretty low metabolism. But anywhoo;
<br>
So I was a pretty hardcore stoner when I was younger. It was back in August and it was about 3 months before my 18th birthday. Some of my friends had the brilliant idea of throwing a party at a local camping area. It wasn't a huge party, just a group of us closer friends. We had beer and some good ol' ganja. We set up a tiny tent and smoked the thing out completely (and I mean SMOKED OUT, because the air was so thick with smoke it was like you were sitting in a tank full of milk). Because of how stoned I was, I didn't even pay attention to some of my retarded friends and they were drinking beer straight out of the can, and in this park, alcohol is strictly PROHIBITED. So, some park rangers come walking up and saw all of the beer cans. My best friend who was 18 at the time was the first to stand up and admit he was drinking. The rest of who weren't drinking just kind of stood there staring at the fat, 'wish-I-were' cops. Now, when they saw the beer I was thinking, "Hmm.. a breathalyzer. This will be fun." But then the cop happened to look down and notice a film canister containing a roach that my friend tried to throw out. This apparently was enough to provoke the rangers to search our cars, wherein mine held a pipe, and a cigarette celaphane wrapper full of stems and seeds. So naturally I was pretty much busted.
<br>
For a few weeks, I didn't really panic. I got myself a lawyer, talked it over with him. He told me these were extremely small charges and the fact that the rangers even got the charges wrong was enough to get me out scott-free. I kept getting phone calls from this local rehab place called TASC, and they would leave me messages saying I needed to come in for a pre-screening. Never having dealt with the law before I thought, "well, what're they gonna do?" So, a TASC office visit later, and I walk out not even realising I signed papers saying I was to be put on their program for about 6 months (Hey, they talk fast and sugar coat everything). So I was tricked into getting urine tested every week. This angered me, especially the fact that my friend who never went to the pre-screening (because I wanred him) is now only on diversion, and NEVER gets piss tested.
<br>
I was pretty stupid for a while. I would smoke all weekend and then try to clean up all week, and I had dilutes for EVERY TEST for three months, excluding the three positives they caught me on. So after finally getting my fourth positive on January 16th, I was summoned back to court on the 29th of February. After I got that positive back in January, I haven't smoked since (excluding a week ago, but I think I'll be okay). But here's the catch, the TASC office filed a false positive on me. I know this for a fact, because it gave a date that I never submitted a urine on (the date said Feb. 1st), not to mention I was clean since the 16th of Jan., and the two tests before this one came back negative. It said I had a reading of 218 ng. of Cannabis. So I contacted the TASC office and my P.O. admitted to it seeming strange.
<br>
So now I'm faced with a poor track record, a court-issued rehab center that wants all my money and me thrown in jail, and a false positive (possibly more, I need to go check past result dates). I got rid of my lawyer because she was costing way too much. So now I'm going into court by myself on the 29th and I'm not sure what's going to happen. Anyone wanna give their two cents?

[Sir Tokes Alot]

Originally Posted by MetaPhex

Alright I admit, I'm not actually FAT, but I do have a pretty low metabolism. But anywhoo;


So I was a pretty hardcore stoner when I was younger. It was back in August and it was about 3 months before my 18th birthday. Some of my friends had the brilliant idea of throwing a party at a local camping area. It wasn't a huge party, just a group of us closer friends. We had beer and some good ol' ganja. We set up a tiny tent and smoked the thing out completely (and I mean SMOKED OUT, because the air was so thick with smoke it was like you were sitting in a tank full of milk). Because of how stoned I was, I didn't even pay attention to some of my retarded friends and they were drinking beer straight out of the can, and in this park, alcohol is strictly PROHIBITED. So, some park rangers come walking up and saw all of the beer cans. My best friend who was 18 at the time was the first to stand up and admit he was drinking. The rest of who weren't drinking just kind of stood there staring at the fat, 'wish-I-were' cops. Now, when they saw the beer I was thinking, "Hmm.. a breathalyzer. This will be fun." But then the cop happened to look down and notice a film canister containing a roach that my friend tried to throw out. This apparently was enough to provoke the rangers to search our cars, wherein mine held a pipe, and a cigarette celaphane wrapper full of stems and seeds. So naturally I was pretty much busted.


For a few weeks, I didn't really panic. I got myself a lawyer, talked it over with him. He told me these were extremely small charges and the fact that the rangers even got the charges wrong was enough to get me out scott-free. I kept getting phone calls from this local rehab place called TASC, and they would leave me messages saying I needed to come in for a pre-screening. Never having dealt with the law before I thought, "well, what're they gonna do?" So, a TASC office visit later, and I walk out not even realising I signed papers saying I was to be put on their program for about 6 months (Hey, they talk fast and sugar coat everything). So I was tricked into getting urine tested every week. This angered me, especially the fact that my friend who never went to the pre-screening (because I wanred him) is now only on diversion, and NEVER gets piss tested.


I was pretty stupid for a while. I would smoke all weekend and then try to clean up all week, and I had dilutes for EVERY TEST for three months, excluding the three positives they caught me on. So after finally getting my fourth positive on January 16th, I was summoned back to court on the 29th of February. After I got that positive back in January, I haven't smoked since (excluding a week ago, but I think I'll be okay). But here's the catch, the TASC office filed a false positive on me. I know this for a fact, because it gave a date that I never submitted a urine on (the date said Feb. 1st), not to mention I was clean since the 16th of Jan., and the two tests before this one came back negative. It said I had a reading of 218 ng. of Cannabis. So I contacted the TASC office and my P.O. admitted to it seeming strange.


So now I'm faced with a poor track record, a court-issued rehab center that wants all my money and me thrown in jail, and a false positive (possibly more, I need to go check past result dates). I got rid of my lawyer because she was costing way too much. So now I'm going into court by myself on the 29th and I'm not sure what's going to happen. Anyone wanna give their two cents?

Damn dude I feel bad for you but why did you sign those papers.

[PrinceSoHigh]

dude....i dont want to put you down, but you dont sign ANYTHING unless you read, re-read, and re-re-read it again...... would you go into a car dealership and scribble you john hancock on the motherfucker and floor the gas outta the lot? no man....


and whats more....youre in a fucking tent. you didnt have a sleeping bag to throw shit in?


sounds like a sad story all around but hey you reap what you sow my plump brother...heres wishing you the best, as well as a resounding victory in court over those pompous, conniving, trickster douchebags known as CO's, PO's, and HO-MO's...