How I finally cured myself from depression

[John Galt]

Great post man, I could definitely relate to a lot of that.

And believe it or not, I actually had a similar experience while on a trip to Ocean City with people. Ocean City, Maryland that is, I don't know which one you go to. Basically same deal, I went up and was staying with a bunch of people I deep down hated but went anyways expecting to just party and have a lot of fun, I end up getting in this huge argument over really stupid bottled up anger for them and end up driving three hours home by myself at 4 AM.

[jdogg6590]

Man, I read that whole thing.

Nicely done!

Reading it, a couple of those things applied to me....and getting to that video really puts everything in perspective. Nice to understand things.

Sweet!

[sadakaa]

your story is a lot like mine: popular in the lower grades, not in high school. i am now diagnoses with chronic depression and bipolar 2, and i guess all i can say is that mine started a bit earlier. You managed to cure yourself, something i really admire and envy. the fact that you had the mindset, the control, and the temper to actually wade through everything gives me strength to do the same.

Good luck man, and I really thank you for this post.

[Shooter McGavin]

Your story is almost exactly like mine, In fact my experiences are so similar to yours it kind of creeps me out.

I don't mean this in a bad way, but the post didn't help me all that much, but it is somewhat nice to know other people are expierencing similar things, and have made it through.

[primetime21335]

This thing is still kickin eh? Good. It deserves to be.

[Blaze_It_Up420]

Good post man, felt like I was reading about myself there man, I went through a ton of the same shit and saved myself from it.

glad everything went well for you man

[Charger]

I can relate to alot of the things you were talking about...I recently made my depression much better than it was by relizing I had to stop praying to a god for help and help myself..Also good decision to get off those pills I'm glad my parents never let the shrink put me on them..Also I have hypothyrodism and i recomnend anyone feeling down and depressed to get a blood test because you might have it also

[Rotawee]

Wow, nicely written.

[Cali Ounces]

I've googled suicide methods before, the sites they list dont really offer any information other than numbers for hotlines. Normally the fact that I wrote that sentence would disturb me, but it's true. Thats awesome for you that you have overcome depression, many people are afflicted (myself including). And I'd have to say it's the most crippling mental state you can have. I feel like a bitch for wanting to end my own life but the feelings remain. Sometimes I think that, in my life there have been periods of extreme contentedness. Yet I would never really label myself as being "happy" ever since I was taught what it meant and old enough to understand. That makes me wonder If I haven't ever been truly happy with my situation, would I be even if I improved it that much more? If I did everything that I wanted, had everything that I desired to complete me and my personality. . . would I be happy then? Lately the answer is a short and succint no. Alas yet here still I am. . .

Am I fixable? Given the option I wouldnt wish to be like this. Yet all the tools around me seem to be misfitten for the task. One thing however that seems to work temporarily is getting wasted. Weed, pills, alcohol. . . I'll take what I can get even nabbing a few percs and benzos from my father here and there so for a few hours a day my mind wont travel to that place.

Sometimes I think, perhaps its the drugs kyle. Perhaps you are just so fucked up all the time. Yet I find t'breaks leave me unable to cope with situations. My sober mind thinks much too quickly for my own liking. My sober mind travels to areas and forms conclusions that displease me, even scare.

Will I ever commit to a decision either way? No idea, I know that the thought of how my friends and family would take the news of their beloved's demise makes me cry. But I also feel that I'm trapped here in a permastage of despair that hides until I'm the most vulnerable. I heard a good quote from Hunter S. Thompson the other day on the city. I'd like to paraphrase it because lately it's what has been keeping me going onto the next day.

The only thing keeping me in this world is the fact that I have the choice to leave it at anytime should I see fit.

-Cali Ounces

[dream]

5. *extention of 4*As stupid as it sounds, seeing how big the universe is, and how little we are, and how little i am, and how little life is, makes you kind of appreciate what we have. why waste your one and only life because of a few bad decisions or a one in a 300million girl doesn't like you. Or because your gay and your family won't accept you because of it ( just trying to throw out examples here)? If you think about it, it's absurd to let such nonsense effect your happiness! Even if you can get just another hour of happiness tomorrow from smoking a bowl and eating a pizza, is that not worth it? What is really keeping you from that? MEMORIES!? FUCKING MEMORIES!?
Instead of asking why, ask why not? Why not stay alive to enjoy that slice of cheesy goodness tommorow? Because a few months ago you made a stupid decision? SO FUCKING WHAT! Not only is it too late to change it, but that mistake you made really doesn't matter much anyways.

I like that one quite a bit, very true!!!

The only problem I have with the whole thing (yes I read it all) Is that you seamed to be depressed alot about not having popular friends? You talked about your friends being cool but you not being friends with thier friends? Wierd to chose friends based on socail status.

im glad you got out of your depression dude, and that was especially good stuff overall.

[RavenousDank]

You are a great writer, with a great memory

i read it all, Yeah i got problems with depression

you made some really goood points, like how happiness is a decsion rather than a reaction

cuz like your expectations of things, if you are a perfectionist then you will never be happy (i suffer a little from that) yeah like that kind of sort of thing

thanks for sharing GC is a great place

::edit:: I know i'm a negative mother fucker, but if i were you, depression never dies (my case anyways)

[primetime21335]

Originally Posted by dream

5. *extention of 4*As stupid as it sounds, seeing how big the universe is, and how little we are, and how little i am, and how little life is, makes you kind of appreciate what we have. why waste your one and only life because of a few bad decisions or a one in a 300million girl doesn't like you. Or because your gay and your family won't accept you because of it ( just trying to throw out examples here)? If you think about it, it's absurd to let such nonsense effect your happiness! Even if you can get just another hour of happiness tomorrow from smoking a bowl and eating a pizza, is that not worth it? What is really keeping you from that? MEMORIES!? FUCKING MEMORIES!?
Instead of asking why, ask why not? Why not stay alive to enjoy that slice of cheesy goodness tommorow? Because a few months ago you made a stupid decision? SO FUCKING WHAT! Not only is it too late to change it, but that mistake you made really doesn't matter much anyways.

I like that one quite a bit, very true!!!

The only problem I have with the whole thing (yes I read it all) Is that you seamed to be depressed alot about not having popular friends? You talked about your friends being cool but you not being friends with thier friends? Wierd to chose friends based on socail status.

im glad you got out of your depression dude, and that was especially good stuff overall.

Nah, all of my best friends have always been popular. That had nothing to do with my depression. I was talking about how my best friends have more friends than me, and how I don't tend to make friends with their friends. I never choose friends on social status, I mean it might play a small role, but I was the semi-popular kid who talked to all the social rejects in highschool.

[JesusC]

Read every word of it.....+rep for pouring your heart out.

[adamp]

Fantastic post. My early life is so similar to yours that it's downright creepy. I'm going to read that book you suggested. Also I love the little bit about Einstein. Makes me feel so much better! Thanks!

[The Lex]

guess this was posted a bit ago, but haven't checked GC for a while. anyway, got the same things to say as everyone else: have/had the same issues and have the same kinda view on the world(guess we all kinda gravitate towards eachother, huh?) that vid kinda blew my mind, bookmarking it to watch when i get some bud, i love having my mind open it's floodgates like that keep on keeping on dudes