Im just Lost

[justblazed]

So my life hasn't been perfect, that doesn't mean anything. Lately though Ive had this thing pulling on me. I use to do my thing on the streets, and now I work a 9-5. I hate it. I hate waking up every morning at the same time doing the same shit over and over again. Lately Ive had the urge to go back to my old ways, and I cant think of any reason why not too. Except the obvious jail time or dead, But I cant stand this same shit everyday too much anymore. I know this isn't really a life story, but I figured someone out their could of went threw something similar, and could shoot me some knowledge.

[What'sThatSmell]

What do you do for a profession?

[shagra]

i'd go for a job with variable hours.
i made my uni sched so that i wouldn't have two days that seemed even close to the same.
either that, or become self-employed.

[justblazed]

Ive been at my current job for 3 years and I'm a manager in the warehouse. I just cant stand the fact that i would do this for the rest of my life.

[Madfer Reefer]

For clarity's sake, when you "did your thing on the streets", are you saying that you were just dealing or that you lived on the streets, i.e. homeless?

[kissthesky]

How old are you? You don't have to work in any job for the rest of your life. Dont you have a goal? Like a dream job? start working toward it. I know what your talking about though. Ive been out of work for a good 7 months now because I have no motivation to get up and do the 9-5 shit everyday.

Its a trap. Thats why you need to learn how to work for yourself (legally), and if you have a background in dealing then you know the basics on how to manage a business.

[justblazed]

I was never homeless I always had a place to lay my head down. I'm 25 and i grew up quick got kicked outta my moms house at 14 cause she found $400 and a gun in my dresser and she told me she wasn't gonna go to jail for me. So from 14 til about 23 that's what i did. Its been the same thing everyday for the past few years and I'm getting sick of it, everyday same times for everything. Its like I know I can be making a whole lot more money its just like the streets are calling my name. Or its probably because they made me manager I just sit here tracking shipments and doing inventory that I just day dream too much. Either way I think I'm fucking loosing it.

[Bukley]

you're not just lost you're justblazed i had to say it..

well you can always be a waiter at red lobster or something, you get payed really good, my cuzin made 400 bux in tips once in like 5 hours.
then he plays online poker with that money and triples it in a couple hours,
and hes about to buy a condo, he just bought a VW passat fully loaded.
but hes a bartender now, and get just about the same if not a lil more

[Madfer Reefer]

Yeah, man, there's gotta be countless other ways to live your life than to sell yourself short and just rely on dealing. Granted, I've never been in your position, so I can't speak from experience, but, dude, you've already proven to yourself that you have the will to live and the will to fight for what's yours. Don't ~you~ think you deserve better than living day to day? Come on, bro. I don't care ~where~ you work, or how brainless you might think your job is, the fact remains that someone other than yourself even saw your potential. Your manager sees what kind of person you are and knows how responsible you are, or else you never would have been hired to manage under them. So you don't like tracking shipments, do something else! You seem to be bored where you are. You don't appear to be brain dead, so your brain is wandering since it wants something more from you. Even your psyche is demanding more from you! I think it would be different if you came here saying that you felt you needed to work the streets because you weren't able to handle working in the real world - that you just couldn't grasp it. But you not only seem to grasp your job, but you're doing it so well without even having to think about it that you're getting bored! That's actually an awesome complaint!

Man, I would think that becoming a dealer should be your last ditch attempt at survival, not a way to make your life more exciting. Shit, there's gotta be tons of jobs out there that might prove themselves to be more exciting for you that won't necessitate your putting your life or freedom on the line very day! Look, man, you've done your time on the streets, it could not have been fun or else you'd still be there. Look at yourself now compare to where you were before your current job. There's alot to be said about a steady paycheck and a comfortable bed to sleep in (assuming it's not a futon!!)

Give yourself more credit as a survivor who did what you had to do to get to where you are now. And don't look back. Use your experiences to make yourself a better person - don't use it as something to fall back on. You're making the money now and you've made something of yourself. Don't piss it all away. As far as I can tell, let some other fool take all the risks - and just pay him for whatever weed, pills you need. Though there's a risk in ANY aspect of doing or dealing drugs, I will always take my chances being the former rather than the latter.

I seriously wish you luck, man. Look for another job that you find more stimulating or try taking some night classes somewhere to go even farther. You're alright, man; just have some faith in yourself.

[iShotTupac123]

I know a guy just like what you're describing. My old dealer, Casper, lived out of his car but he had a ton of friends and hundreds of contacts. (he carried around two phones on him beceause he filled up the first ones phonebook). He would just sleep at a different persons house every night and every day he would move like 5 lbs worth of shit. Makes it impossible for 5-0 to get him beceause he don't even got an address.

Anyways dude if you wanna deal I say go ahead, just make sure to be slick about it. 5-0 everywhere these days. Althought if I were you I would think of a trade I would enjoy doing. That way you can deal to put yourself through colledge.

[justblazed]

MadReefer...Thank you man!! You just helped me more then you'll ever know. Your right i stopped for a reason, and now i'm just looking back at the fun parts like damn I wish it was still like that. I just overlook all the negative things about it like the jail time Ive done, and the police harassment and what not. This job though I cant deal with it I'm thinking of maybe starting some kinda company or something like that. Thanks for the input guys I really appreciate it, cause its not like I can talk to people at work about this subject.

[willydog]

I had a friend, long time friend from childhood, same situation as you. He had a very hard time punching the time clock. He had several decent jobs for having no degree.(managed a pawn shop for several years, managed a chain of car washes for a couple years), had a great personality that got him places. Granted never rich, but had enough to live comfortably.

Back in the school years he always worked the streets and always had money. After a few years of paying uncle sam and fitting in with the main stream he'd had enough, and went back to dealing.

Did great for a quite a few years (financially), was almost legit, he was gradually starting up a side business that was very close to letting him get away from dealing.
He was never flashy with his money, didn't drive flashy vehicles. Kept it on the low down, and didn't sell anything but weed. He wasn't into meth or any other drugs. Didn't even drink.

BAM he gets popped for a pound in a motel with a scale, he was smoking in the bathroom with the fan on, and a towel under the door, but someone still smelled it.
He was able to leave while they waited for a warrent to search the room, at that point they hadn't searched the room and couldn't hold him.

South of the border he goes and haven't heard from him since. He had been in some trouble in his past and knew he'd be doing prison time for sure. I here he has two kids now with a seniorita and can't work because he's not a citizen. Also heard he did a few days in a mexican prison for a mix up about a robbery, but was let go. Apparently he hopes he can come back when the statute of limitations is up, like 10 or 12 years.

Make your decisions wisely, never know what may happen. If it were me, I'd start looking for a new job, a new job may get you over the burnout.

[adamBC]

Originally Posted by iShotTupac123

I know a guy just like what you're describing. My old dealer, Casper, lived out of his car but he had a ton of friends and hundreds of contacts. (he carried around two phones on him beceause he filled up the first ones phonebook). He would just sleep at a different persons house every night and every day he would move like 5 lbs worth of shit. Makes it impossible for 5-0 to get him beceause he don't even got an address.

Anyways dude if you wanna deal I say go ahead, just make sure to be slick about it. 5-0 everywhere these days. Althought if I were you I would think of a trade I would enjoy doing. That way you can deal to put yourself through colledge.

getting pulled over in a car with 5lbs in it would not be fin. Id say its not only easy but quite probable he'll be busted whenever the cops decide to take him down. its not like they need a warrant.




and justblazed:


you dont want to go back to the streets man. thats not a place to look forward too, its what you should be looking back on, and be glad you got out early.

just stick with it mine, you arent any differant than the other hundred million 9-5 drones in the world, and hell, 80% of those people would kill to be given a management position.

just dont let yourself get stuck. if this job has any more room for promotion, go for it. if not, start looking for better jobs you can apply your experience towards, or start taking night school classes.


and finally, i find a lot of people that are stuck in a loop, a rut, whatever you want to call it, lack a creative outlet. all they do is work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep. its all input, no output, and your mind gets blocked up. start trying to do something to release emotional anxiety, be it an instrument, art, writing, sports, anything to get those synapses firing.


hope you feel better soon man, stick it out, you'll be just fine.

[laur03]

pick up some kind of hobby that you like a lot. like going to work isn't always something enjoyable, but maybe if you picked up like a club sport or something it would be something to look forward to? i have the same problem i get bored and sick of routine very very very easily. I joined a yoga class, and took guitar lessons, and stuff to change it up a little from my typical wake up go to class, go to work, go back to the apt. type deal. it helps get through school when i dont wanna go and get through work when i dont wanna deal with it because i have something to look forward to. Like for example, my yoga class was before class and it's something I enjoy so i'd actually wake up for it and then i'd go to my class because i figure, well i'm already up so i might as well go to class, where as before i'd sleep through my classes and not really have a reason to go.

[Madfer Reefer]

Originally Posted by justblazed

MadReefer...Thank you man!! You just helped me more then you'll ever know. Your right i stopped for a reason, and now i'm just looking back at the fun parts like damn I wish it was still like that. I just overlook all the negative things about it like the jail time Ive done, and the police harassment and what not. This job though I cant deal with it I'm thinking of maybe starting some kinda company or something like that. Thanks for the input guys I really appreciate it, cause its not like I can talk to people at work about this subject.

Far out, man, you are more than welcome. I'm so glad I was able to provide a different perspective for you. And yeah, I've gotta say that starting your own business will definitely be a lot more exciting and absolutely very challenging. Keep your chin up and keep telling yourself that you can do anything you want as long as you want it bad enough.

I wish you only the best of luck and success in whatever road you take. Be sure to keep us posted, alright?