i hate it (long read. lots of dialogue)

[stickyone13]

Alright. A buddy of mine (drew) turned 21 this weekend, so i went up to visit him, and to party balls for his birthday. Party's at his place, 3 bedroom condo. 2 kegs, 300 jello shots, 2 coolers of beer punch/pinkpantydroppers/whathaveyou. it was a bit of a rager. anyway, it's not really my sort of crowd (too hard to tell which girls were fair game and which were a BIT too young), so my friend will (who came from out of town too) and i step into drew's room to smoke a lil bowlski. we do, we chill, listen to a little grand funk, and then rejoin the party. as we come out of the room, i guess the smell came out with us, cause instantly there were 2 girls in our faces (one was a solid 6, the other was a bit of a...big girl?) that we'd never met. "are you guys smoking WEED?!?"
"we WERE smoking weed, yes"
"you got any more?"
"i'm not a dealer"
"i don't care about that. is there any weed left?"
"right now? no. later? we'll have to see"

so she went to work on my friend.
"is there any bud left?"
"yeah."
"do you want to smoke it right now?"
"nope. not even a little bit. just smoked."
*girls look both shocked and appalled at our steadfast repellance of their feeble attempt to girl their way into a smoke out without even chatting us up first*
"welp. i'm going outside now. good day."

so will and i post up on the balcony, smoking cigarettes, tending to our drinks, and having good conversation with the people who weren't really diggin the party inside either. about ten minutes after our first encounter, the girls (we'll call them dumb sluts 1&2, with the larger one being number 2, cause it's a bigger number, and they never told us their names) come out on the balcony:
slut1: "you ask them. you ask them."
slut2: "so, uh, you guys ready to smoke us out, or what?"
*will and i make eye contact as if to say "do you believe this shit?" will gives me an "i've got this" head nod*
will: "nope."
slut2: "then when?!?" (they were getting mad)
will: "it's not lookin good"
both sluts then drop their jaws and look at me. i shrug.

slut2: then, can i have a cigarette?
me: "god DAMN you're needy"
slut2: needy? NEEDY?!? slut 1! he just called me needy! all i wanted was a cigarette"
*will erupts with laughter*
me: "um, you wanted weed 4 seconds ago, now you want a cigarette. next you'll be going on about how i never buy you nice things, and i dont even know you."

so we didn't give them anything they wanted, cause they reaked of skeeze.

fast-forward to 1 hour later. drew peaks his head out, says the word "smoke" and then goes back inside. we follow a couple minutes later, and upon entering his room, what do we see? slut 1 and slut 2 have summoned their minions. there are, no lie, 9 random girls (the hottest one barely registered a 6.5, even with some goggles workin) lined up in 3 rows of 3 waiting to be smoked out by drew, who's drunker than some guy that does nothing but drink all day. being the good friends that we are, we tried to talk some sense into drew, but he was so drunk he thought he was about to make it with 9 fhm models, so we hid his bud. thankfully, the sweetest word i've heard all day rang out, cutting the session short. "COPS!!!" noise complaint. the roommates were happy to take their ticket, cause the cop said that their party was every bit as loud as any bar he's ever been in, but the party was shut down. everyone had to go. a couple of the bigger girls declared that they weren't leaving, so will put on his asshole face and got everyone but a choice few to leave. we then rejoiced in the fact that, despite his best efforts, drew hadn't managed to waste all our weed on several dumb sluts, all of whom were randoms at the party, whom none of us knew. we then proceeded to pass bowls around until we didn't know our own names, listened to the dead on vinyl, and then went to bed.

between these random sluts and the one that just walked herself into my house to demand that my buddies and i roll her a blunt to go smoke with her friends, i'm thinking of not smoking at parties anymore, or making a shirt that just says "no" on it, so i don't even have to talk to these people, i can just point at my shirt.

I know that was really long, but if you read it all, what do you think? are will and i assholes? or would you have done the same thing?

[jay6776]

haha what bitches, i was in a simmilar situation at a party a couple days ago (over at State for those who live in San Francisco).

in the end, all that happened was my friend was smoking and sort of laughing smoke in her face, it was funny at the time

[aguy]

Good story man, I would have done the same thing. If it was someone I knew or even a friend of a close friend I'd probably consider it... but ugly randoms... fuck that (wait no, well you guys can, I'll pass).

[bigtee212]

haha ya a bit ago i was at this party and this chick comes into the kicthen and is like "does anyone smoke weed" cause of course she wants to be smoked up, and i go, "for sure i smoke, you wanna pack a bowl or what" and she just turns around and leaves the room. god damn girls, thats what really bugs me, if they are going to try and use themselves being girls to get what they want and shit, then why cant we be sexist ourselves and make them do shit and cook and clean.

[DCW_4]

i remember this one time i had a party, and a few girls wanted to get some "courtesy bud". I told them that I would give them "courtesy bud" only if they gave me "courtesy titties" Needless to say, none of them wanted to, so I ignored them. Turns out, after they told me no, they ripped apart the entire upstairs looking for my weed.

Joke's on them - It was in my pockets the whole time.

[SunJMH]

Green diggers, bitches that think they can smoke for free by convincing some idiot they'll get something worth it in return...i have no idea man. fuck. I would have done the same thing. The 5 girls compared to the about 20 guys i know and smoke with never pay for shit...wait one of them does...my bad. I would rather have my girl not smoke then have her indulge in my shit all the time.

[aguy]

Originally Posted by DCW_4

i remember this one time i had a party, and a few girls wanted to get some "courtesy bud". I told them that I would give them "courtesy bud" only if they gave me "courtesy titties" Needless to say, none of them wanted to, so I ignored them. Turns out, after they told me no, they ripped apart the entire upstairs looking for my weed.

Joke's on them - It was in my pockets the whole time.

Just pull this one out next time (if they're decent or you're really drunk) "Handjob for a hit, blowjob for a bowl."

[stickyone13]

oh i'm sure if these girls ever come back, they'll go straight for the weed, cause they saw him pull the shit out of his stashcan. fucking vultures.

I forget exactly what i would've told them if they asked us a fourth time, but i do remember that i had decided to smoke them out, but only after making them feel like complete and utter whores. i think the plan was to get them lesbianed up and then send the pictures to college humor. too bad they got to drunky mcgee before they came back to us. the porker was gross, but the other girl was a definite brown bag special. slammin body.

[SixFeetUnd3r]

haha thats funny as shit. good job on handling the skanks

[Ktwizzy]

you my friend are not being an asshole. your simply proving that you arent desperate for women and not retareded with your weed

[purplemeadow]

Haha, if I had the skills you and your friend have...
Nice.

[metalstonerking]

Hahaha courtesy titties

[ipack]

very nice story. fuck stupid bitches.

you should have told the fat bitch she could blaze out with you when she runs a 4.4sec 40

[smokinfresh]

I fucking hate going to fat parties or keggers, and having hella people coming up to me asking me if I wanna smoke. When I ask them if they wanna match me, they're always acting all surprised like "no...I thought you were gonna smoke me out!", but the thing is, I smoke people out almost every day, and seriously, not to many other people smoke me out very often. So now I don't smoke out random people I don't know or just people I DO know, but are just some fuckin freeloaders. Fuckin bitches.

[iROLLBLUNTS]

you were not being rude by any means. this coming straight from a female.
normally i prefer to buy my own bud (w/ the little money i have) and if a guy i know who has a lot of bud is around i`ll offer to pitch, i may not pitch a lot but i styll pitch a decent amount. i can`t even lie though i have used my female charm to my advantage especially when guys are drunk to get blazed for free. i use it in moderation though its not like an everyday, every party i go to type of thing. once and awhile is no big deal because normally by morning the guy doesn`t even remember.