Nervous around girls....

[wd2006]

I am 20 years old and It might seem funny to some people, but I've had only one Gf in my whole life, but im not a virgin. THe thing that sucks is that I get really nervous and anxious around girls and I can't seem to control my anxiety but it controls me.

Iv'e talked to therapists and taken medicine and it hasnt helped much. I've been depressed because I've been trying to get rid of my anxiety but it hasnt gone away.

I've even spent countless hours trying to figure out why my anxiety is there and how to get rid of it, I have written so many notes and I havent gone far.

What can I do?, Im starting to lose hope, and smoking weed is the only thing in life that keeps me looking forward to next week. I have a group of about 5 guys who are soo chill and we are so close that is the only thing keeping me going.

Im going to school, but I have no motivation and this problem seems to be taking my energy out.

What can I do?

[SuburbanKMK101]

A fifth of Henny and a fat blunt should give you the confidence you seek. Heh.

That can bring out the pimp in anyone.

Its called game, son. Some are born with it and some arent. Some can learn it some cant.

My advice for you is to hangout with a few chicks you like. Sometimes they like the shy thing..like a little puppy. You can learn to talk to girls and spit some g.a.m.e or you can play off the shy thing while spittin tha minimalistic amount of game to her(or group of hers,it can be done)

[Eyes]

I'm sort of like that. I'm fine around anybody, I act natural, but whenever a girl attracts my attention for some reason (being smart, funny, beautiful etc.) I don't know what to say. Or, I make a complete ass of myself.

[SuburbanKMK101]

Ive never had this problem...maybe genetics..heh.

[Blaze_It_Up420]

I've been fortunate enough to never have problems getting girls. Very hot girls still tend to make me nervous and trip me up though.

[Ars moriendi]

lol a good joint and some coke

just stick it in some nasal spray thing thats been cleaned of w/e with 2ml water per gram

hit up the bathroom or take a cig break outside couple quick sniffs/squirts wipe your nose and in about 10 minutes you'll be socializing for an hour or so

meth is way better for this but best keep it mild

you're spastic around girls cuz your body 'n mind feel outta sync stimulants happen to shrink that gap for some (adhd ect) making them feel assured that their actions are ok IE smooth cool what have you

[-mu]

Get some practice. Use the "three second rule"... You see a girl, ANY GIRL you like, and you walk up to her, and say "Hi". Just like that. Don't wait, don't pause, you have three seconds. Practice on loads of girls, everywhere you go. It doesn't matter if you crash and burn, or get a slap in the face (better!), it's just fun, and there's nothing to lose.

DO NOT USE DRUGS OR ALCOHOL TO IMPROVE CONFIDENCE! It's a short-term strategy that usually ends up back-firing in some way. Save the weed for when you get her home.

It's a game, yes. I've always been naturally good at it; I can chat away like they were my sister or a life-long friend (droping subtle hint, here). It's a confidence thing. Practice gets you that.

This isn't the place to get help, really. But there are some places you might find very useful. Like here...

http://www.fastseduction.com/

-mu

[stickyone13]

mu's right. it's all about confidence. there's some mental block in your head that makes you think you can't talk to girls, for whatever reason. most likely you're scared of rejection and what everyone will think if you strike out. the truth of it is, it doesn't matter. There are always more girls. Try this: Next time you go out, and this'll be scary as shit the first couple times you do it, but i swear to God it's worth it. You're at a party, a butt-naked, the grocery store, whatever. every girl who registers at least a 7 on your scale, go meet her. Look her square in the eye, and say the same thing every time, like, "hi, i don't think we've met. I'm Roberto, what's your name?" or "hi, i'm Pete. I'm just out meeting people tonight, what's your name?" they respond, you say it was great meeting them, and get the hell out and just look at the responses. 90% of them will be positive. When i did this (I was out of the game for almost 4 years the last half of high school into college), I actually had a few girls grab my arm as i was leaving saying something like, "hang out for a bit!" pretty soon you'll start to realize that talking to women ISN"T scary, that you CAN do it, and it'll come easier and easier. Just try that and let us know how it goes. You can do it!

[Gag On Grass]

i'm quite the nervous wreck myself. But, it's a mental thing, a majority of the time a girl will give you a chance. and it'll all be cool as long as you're not a complete spaz or something

But, i tend to smoke out of public, but i always feel smoother after a joint or two and wanna give it a shot meeting girls when i'm baked, see how things go

[Smoken Souljah]

hey man, this is all great advice so far, but me and dan, aka, blazeitup_420, we're talking last night, and thought i'd like to add a couple of the pointers. for me man, nothing calms my nerves and sets me in pimp mode like smoking a bowl.... i dunno, it justs like flirting power! but thats just me, some guys do get sloppy when their intoxicated, and it can ruin it for you! its up to you to decide, are you a loudmouth drunk, or does a couple of shots and a joint level your head off?

anyways. pick out a girl.

you HAVE to ask her questions about herself, her life, don't talk so much about you, as you ask about her. and don't forget to chime in occasionally that, "oh wow, yah, i love that band too!" or.... "nice, nice, im a big fan of skiiing, i usually go to *insert mounain* couple times every winter". you've got to show her that your not totally opposite you know? agree with her enough that you can make a connection, but not everything! she'll be able to tell probaly if your just sitting there agreeing with everything she says. if you disagree, it may open up some oppertunities for flirtaous touching, stroke of her arm, playful pushing etc. etc.

anyways, the main point im trying to make is, talk about her, ask her questions, seem interested, and be sure to share a couple of interests or favorite things with her, but not too many, you don't want to seem EXACTLY alike, cuz then she'll probaly get bored.

enough to connect, but different enough to still be interesting.

[D-Shiznit]

That is all good advice. I think you should just talk to the girls like they are your homies, because it's not like they are something different than humans, they laugh and can take jokes too. Well my lady at least, likes to kick it and be treated how I treat my boys. Getting turned down is not the end of the world, even if it's by the girl of your dreams, because all you have to do is go ask her again and maybe just MAYBE she will say yes because she see's you are not afraid. Girls don't like when guys are afraid because how can they even socialize with someone who is shy? Just get in the game with the right mentality and TALK.

[G-MAN]

yeah im really nervous around girls too. the best thing to do is to picture them naked.. wait thats a shit idea lol

but yeah just remember they are human beings and try and engage in conversation with them, even if its just asking them what they do.. people love talking about themselves.. see where it goes from there and let the conversation flow..

once youve broken the ice its easy from my experience

[Eyes]

Originally Posted by G-MAN

yeah im really nervous around girls too. the best thing to do is to picture them naked.. wait thats a shit idea lol

but yeah just remember they are human beings and try and engage in conversation with them, even if its just asking them what they do.. people love talking about themselves.. see where it goes from there and let the conversation flow..

once youve broken the ice its easy from my experience

Picturing them naked would mean you'd have to hide your erection mate
In all seriousness, that advice is good. Ask questions about them, and one thing'll lead to another.

[RobHecht]

yeah i have the same problem. beer is the only thing that gets me to open up to girls.

[ZergRush]

....lol @ this thread.