My First Adderall Experience...Amazing or Terrible? (Please Read Advice Needed)

[raw tunes]

so i have a math test tomorrow
and i have not been able to study at all for the past week (despite many valiant efforts)
so i was like, fuck this test is tomorrow
i got a 20 mg adderall, took it at 4
and im in the zone
Im about to head to work, but after that its back to the books


Positives
Very Focused
Great Mood Enhancer
Just all around happy

Negatives
Somewhat Jittery
Very Intense Cotton Mouth
Amazing Mood Enhancer (Im listing this as a negative also, because I could see how I would start to take it strictly for this reason)


THE PLEASE READ SECTION
My issue with taking it for the Mood Enhancement is that my mother has been addicted to Anti-Depressants her whole life
and its ripped us apart
shes been in and out of the hospital, in and out of jail, and in and out of my life for the past 10 years.
and her actions have always disgusted me, the fact that shes willing to throw away a relationship with her 2 sons just for some pills
but she didnt just take them to feel good mood wise, she got fucked up on them
and hardly knows me because what ive told her and experienced with her, she was too fucked up to remember
i remember her fighting my dad in court to get weekend visits with me and my brother
and then the first time we came over
she was cool for about 2 hours
and then she was passed out on the kitchen floor for a good 4 hours
then me and brother just left and went home

ive seen what abusing drugs can do to someone, how much it can change them
and im afraid her weaknesses have been genetically passed down to me
regardless of how in control I feel of my life, meaning I hardly drink and only smoke to reward myself for school work and on the weekends
but these 2 things are hardly addicting and im afraid with a more legit drug, ill become addicted and head down the path shes traveled down

im determined to avoid the mistakes shes made, not to mention my father has raised me better then that

so baiscially i need some advice on what do
should i just stop with the whole adderall thing immediately to avoid my genetic weaknesses
or am i over analyzing this, because it really does greatly improve my studying experience
but im willing to say fuck the easier studying in order to potentially save my life


Please help, as you can see this is pretty serious

[dandaman33]

only take them to study.
NO excuses.
go in with this mindset, you will come out fine

you can detail it more, for example only once maybe only twice a week max, never let it touch your nose, only take up to 20mg at a time, etc. once you break one rule, stop because you will probably break more until you don't care and end up with a personality dependent on adderall

[AaronEbola]

If I were you I wouldn't identify your mom's use and its effect on you as a genetic weakness. If you are determined to not let yourself cave in and become what you see in your mum, then I don't think you will.
Its the same with me and Ecstacy, when I took that first one, I KNEW I was going to take it again. Sure I could have just stuffed it away, and forgot about it, but I didn't want to. I also didn't want to become a statistic, so I limit myself to a maximum of twice a month, more than a week between, and it REALLY isn't hard at all to stick to this.
However. . . a medication like Adderall is WAY different than E, or I would think. Something like that might start a chemical dependence, I can't be sure. . . but I would assume. So in your position, I'd probably opt to avoid Adderall.
HOWEVER I am in no position to tell you not to, because I'm not sure if you've got the integrity to keep your promise to yourself, weather or not there is a serious risk of addiction, or how often you would plan to use it.

[raw tunes]

ok guys thank you
youre both right
i think as long as im strong, and just stay aware of what im doing
i can be fine

but AaronEbola, your brought up a good point
how addictive is adderall, does anyone know?

[holyrollers]

I'd go with these guys, but just so you realize what you're dealing with...

Adderall is mainly used to treat ADHD, not anti-depression.

Also, the clinical name for adderall is: d and l-amphetamine..

Realize that you are messing with a major stimulant.

[heated]

Just realize how serious it really is like the poster above me said. You can do it every once in a while when you really need it to get a paper done that night or something but ive seen alot of people struggle with it. They started taking it before they worked out because then they would tweak out and lift and run for a long time and they got real dependant on it. It was a pretty sad thing to see, so space out your use man.

[raw tunes]

just to follow up
after taking it at 4pm I wasnt able to fall asleep until 530 am
and got 1.5 hours of sleep before my test
but i think it went well

also while taking adderall, I really felt good
but not like amazing, I kind of felt like I should be taking it all the time
like prescribed it by a docter, Im not sure if that is just me really liking it
but the past few quarters in school ive had a really hard time focusing on my work
is this just me liking the effect, or is it worth consulting a doctor
and dont worry im not considering abusing it, i mean legitimately being on it
if a doctor said I didnt need it then thatd be that

[raw tunes]

let me explain what made me think I should be taking it, other then the focusing
normally im pretty shy and reserved, but yesterday after taking adderall

i was like i said more focused
experienced and elevated mood but nothing too dramatic from my normal state
i was more social, at work I was chatting it up with this dude i normally just ignore
and i say hello to just random people at work, im just all around more friendly

are these effects of people who legitimately need it, or of people who abuse it?