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| Pandora's Box Discussion of various topics-- if you don't want to play with Pandora, don't come to the Box. Administration reserves the right to remove any threads and/or posts. |
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05-22-2003, 03:23 AM
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Old School Stoner
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 672
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real Cyber Sex IM's (pt 1)
Taken from - http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/har.php
This conversation is real. It took place over AOL Instant Messenger. Only the names have been changed to protect starcrftmaniac and PunkgirlAngl, I mean, the innocent. Girl: Hi Boy: hello Boy: who is this? Girl: just a someone? Boy: A someone I know? Girl: nope Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me? Girl: well sorrrrrry Girl: I just wanted to chat with you Boy: why? Girl: nevermind your an asshole Boy: Hey wait a minute Girl: yes? Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid Girl: paranoid? Boy: yes Girl: of what? Girl: me? Boy: No. I'm in hiding. Girl: LOL Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me! Boy: This shit is serious! Girl: What are you hiding from? Boy: The cops. Girl: gimme a fucking break Boy: I'm serious. Girl: I don't get it Boy: The cops are after me. Girl: For what? Boy: I'm wanted in three states Girl: For??? Boy: It's kindof embarrasing. Boy: I had sex with a turkey. Boy: Hello? Girl: You are fucking sick. Boy: Send me your picture. Girl: why? Boy: so I know you aren't one of them. Girl: One of what? Boy: The cops. Girl: I'm not a cop i told you Boy: Then send me your picture. Girl: hold on Boy: Hurry up. Boy: Are you there? Boy: fuck you, cop! Girl: Hey sorry Girl: I had to do something for my mom. Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities. Boy: Weren't you!? Girl: thats not it Boy: Then what? Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Boy: Most cops aren't Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD! Boy: Then send me the picture. Girl: fine. What's your e-mail? Boy: Just send it through here. Girl: alright *PIC* Girl: Did you get it? Boy: Hold on. I'm looking. Girl: That was me back in may Girl: I've lost weight since then. Boy: I hope so Girl: what?!? Girl: that hurt my feelings. Boy: Did it? Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Girl: yes Boy: Alright let me find it. Girl: kks Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC* Girl: this isn't you. Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't! Girl: You don't look like that. Boy: How the hell do you know? Girl: cause your profile has another picture. Boy: The profile pic is a fake. Boy: I use it to hide from the cops. Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Boy: Not to mention all the groceries. Girl: Go fuck yourself Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week. Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. Girl: You've done nothing but slam me. Girl: you hurt me. Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me! Boy: Why would I do that? Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. Girl: FUC YOU!!! Boy: You'd break both of his legs. Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole. Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Boy: Ok. I'm sorry. Girl: No you aren't Boy: You're right. I'm not. Boy: HAARRRRR! Girl: I'm done with you Boy: Aww. I'm sorry. Girl: I'm putting you on ignore Boy: Wait a sec Boy: We got off on the wrong foot. Boy: Wanna start over? Girl: No Boy: I'll eat your pussy Girl: You'll what? Boy: You heard me. Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy. Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy? Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Boy: Well I'm not like most men. Boy: I get excited in different ways. Girl: Like what? Boy: Do you really wanna know? Girl: I don't know Boy: You have to tell me yes or no. Girl: I'm afraid to Boy: Why? Girl: cause Boy: cause why? Girl: well lets see Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you? Boy: Nope Girl: well its strange to me Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to Girl: I didn't say that Boy: So is that a yes? Girl: I guess so. Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing? Girl: What do you need me to do? Boy: I need you talk like a pirate. Girl: ??? Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Boy: ok? Boy: Hello? Girl: You can't be serious Boy: Oh yes I am! Boy: It's my fantasy. Girl: this is retarded Boy: Do you want it or not? Girl: Yes I want it. Boy: Then you'll do it for me? Girl: sure Boy: Ok. Here we go. Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy. Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit. Girl: mmmm yeah Boy: uh oh ...going limp. Girl: Har Boy: You gotta do better than that! Boy: Your picture was really bad. Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke. Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Girl: mmmmmm you are good Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder Boy: going limp Girl: HARRRRRRR Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Boy: You begin to sway back and forth. Boy: going limp Girl: this is stupid Boy: ...still limp Boy: Do it! Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole. Girl: WTF?!?!? Boy: They stink really bad. Girl: OMG STOP!!! Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Boy: I ram it up your ass. Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Boy: I kick you in the face! Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Boy: Your parrot flys away. Boy: ...going limp again. Boy: Hello? Boy: Say it! Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH!!
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The Internet?....What the fuck is the Internet?!?!?----------------- Check this out! http://forums.webrats.com/index.php?referrerid=3 |
    
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05-22-2003, 03:34 AM
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Old School Stoner
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,094
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haha!!!! that's some pretty fuckin funny shit!!!
__________________
"They taste like crap! What are these mints called?" "Excre-Mints" "I Think I Thought Therefore I Thought I Was" "Is it stoned in here or is it just me?" "One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they're OK, then it's you." "Cuz' tha weedflo don't stop an they ain' no cops, bustin people tokin in they own box, ya wanna know was up ya wanna know where I'll be, I be chillin up in Ol'skool-B" |
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05-22-2003, 03:42 AM
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Life's a beach
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ny
Posts: 3,933
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that is funny as hell......some shady people exist in this world...lol...
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The world keeps a balance, through mathematics Defined by whatever you've added and subtracted I'm pushin on the hammer to trigger the brain Embrace how I live, cause God loves ugly... |
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05-22-2003, 08:11 AM
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Old School Stoner
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: MN
Posts: 1,261
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That should be in the fucking humor section man, that was great
 -Samus-
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No longer smoke, serving in U.S. Army... but a stoner at heart. A veteran - whether active duty, retired, National Guard or Reserve - is someone who, at one point in his or her life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life." That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand that |
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05-22-2003, 09:22 AM
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Visit the World!
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore
Posts: 7,109
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Quote:
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Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br> |
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05-22-2003, 09:26 AM
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Local
Join Date: May 2002
Location: WI
Posts: 3,051
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that was pretty fucking great.
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05-22-2003, 09:38 AM
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BaldHippeeRedneck
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Bewilderment near the State of Confusion
Posts: 1,425
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Funny, funny stuff!
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There is no darkness, only an absence of light. |
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05-22-2003, 11:58 AM
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 170
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that was crazy
I can't believe that-is that for real? It was kind of arousing for awhile until he started getting gross and mean and nasty.
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Kia "Where there is love there is no sin" "If you want to be loved,be lovable" |
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05-22-2003, 12:12 PM
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Visit the World!
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore
Posts: 7,109
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Re: that was crazy
Quote:
hey hatebreeder...you lurking round? lol...come on...lets see the inches on the anuses around this place lol
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Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br> |
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05-23-2003, 02:18 AM
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Old School Stoner
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: WTF? Where am I?
Posts: 4,505
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Quote:
[quote]Originally posted by Sensimil [b]hey hatebreeder...you lurking round? lol...come on...lets see the inches on the anuses around this place lol[\B][\QUOTE]ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
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"All the people from high school that I thought would be cooler if they smoked now smoke...and they're much cooler." - A friend of mine spring break his freshman year Everything in moderation...including moderation. |
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05-23-2003, 04:28 AM
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super girl
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: smalltown
Posts: 3,255
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Sooooo, thats how its done eh?
 *memo to self, leave turkeys outta it* *and dont send pictures,lol* peace
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reputation is made in a moment, character is built over a lifetime. |
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05-23-2003, 05:31 AM
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,860
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LOL
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05-23-2003, 05:14 PM
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I Smell Like Light
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland... Fun times!
Posts: 1,777
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heheheehheheheeeee, thats quite witty
the disturbed people in this world scare me, just think it could be someone you know, doubtful but a possibility
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claim to fame : i am digit's cousin ! "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." - Friedrich Nietzsche |
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