Look at this can you make it better?

Discussion in 'Music genres, Bands and Artists' started by Jordan21, Nov 18, 2010.

  1. My heart it cold as ice 
    My lyrics like a metal vice
    Grip your brain 
    Spray your frame
    In the morgue don't know your name
    No matter what you say you face the end
    I'm not a kid I don't pretend
    your mind is blind 
    Face the facts
    Your eyes are struck with cataracts
    Your not my friend your filled with greed
    Snitch on my for a bag of weed
    Your going to hell for every fucking lie you tell
    You make your mother cry her tears 
    There stacked like the body bags from 9-11
    But when they died they went to heaven
    Unlike you your here to walk this Lonley path
    Fuck with me you'll feel the rath 
    Take a shower take a bath
    Try to wash away the sins you hold 



    That's a freestyle I just made took my like 5 mins. And I want your honest opinions (not just you guys trolling but your real opinions) and give me a quick freestyle, tips, or give some "oh you should have put_____ there".


    Yes I know there's already a freestyle thread don't waste your time telling me something I already know (it's not funny).
     

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