smoking and usage

superjoint · #1 (**permalink**) 08-21-2001, 07:57 PM

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas. THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN...
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain LEGO's will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV cmmercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
22. It will however make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

aeroblurg · #2 (**permalink**) 08-21-2001, 08:15 PM

good to know. lol

highawatha · #3 (**permalink**) 08-22-2001, 12:16 AM

i know a few of those things to be facts!

Digit · #4 (**permalink**) 09-13-2001, 04:23 AM

is this where they got the idea for the tv show called malcom in the midle?

Big Poppa Puff · #5 (**permalink**) 09-13-2001, 04:24 PM

They based the character of Hal the Dad from Malcom in the Middle on me. Watching him reminds me of watching my own home movies.

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#1 (permalink) 08-21-2001, 07:57 PM
superjoint Grasscity Admin Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Amsterdam, Noord Holland, The Netherlands Posts: 3,212 Blog Entries: 13	Things you can Learn from Children The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas. THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN... 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. 10. Certain LEGO's will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. 11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV cmmercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. 22. It will however make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. __________________ Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Helen Keller , The Open Door (1957)

#2 (permalink) 08-21-2001, 08:15 PM
aeroblurg Old School Stoner Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: The village of many leprechauns. Posts: 846	good to know. lol __________________

#3 (permalink) 08-22-2001, 12:16 AM
highawatha super girl Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: smalltown Posts: 3,255	i know a few of those things to be facts! __________________ reputation is made in a moment, character is built over a lifetime.

#4 (permalink) 09-13-2001, 04:23 AM
Digit Banned Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 8,000	is this where they got the idea for the tv show called malcom in the midle?

#5 (permalink) 09-13-2001, 04:24 PM
Big Poppa Puff Old School Stoner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Greenbow, Alabama Posts: 3,278	They based the character of Hal the Dad from Malcom in the Middle on me. Watching him reminds me of watching my own home movies. __________________ ...what a long strange trip its been...

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