Pirates

[superjoint]

An aging pirate of the high seas was talking with a mate one day about his pending retirement. "You ought to be compensated for your peg leg, hook for a hand and the patch on your eye," said the mate. "You might want to check it out before retiring."
So the pirate went to the compensation board to see for himself.
"How did you loose your leg?" asked the clerk behind the counter.
"Well me and my maties was sailing the high seas one day when the boom swang around and knocked me into the water and a shark got me leg." Replied the pirate.
"OK", said the clerk, "How did you loose your hand?"
"Well me and my maties were sailing the high seas one day and the boom swang around and knocked me into the water and a shark got me hand."
The clerk wrote down his response again, looked up, noticing the patch on his eye asked,
"Is that how you lost your eye?
"Oh no, said the pirate, One day me and the maties were sailing the high seas and a sea gull landed on the boom. I looked up and it shit in me eye."
"You don’t loose an eye that way!" scoffed the clerk.
"But it was the first day with me new hook!" the pirate cried.