Vetriloquist on Big Poppa's Farm.

smokinokie · #1 (**permalink**) 06-29-2002, 06:53 AM

One day Big Poppa Puff was sitting on his porch, playing his banjo, when a traveling ventriloquist came wandering up. He'd been abused for being a ventriloquist so he kept his trade a secret. He said he was a traveling salesman and he would help with the evening chores for a meal and a place to sleep. Being the lonely banjo player that he is, Poppa concurred.

After a meal of grits and chitlins, they started off toward the barns for the evenings chores.

As they were feeding the chickens, the ventriloquist decided to have a little fun with Poppa. As he was tossing feed he said, "My are'nt you some nice looking chickens! What makes you look so nice?" Then throwing his voice he made the chickens answer, "Big Poppa loves us! He takes good care of us and feeds us well!"

The ventriloquist looked at Poppa to catch his reaction. Absolutely nothing. He went about his chores as if he had'nt heard them at all!

Next they came to the pigs. As he was slopping them he said,"What nice looking pigs you are! How do you get so nice looking?" Throwing his voice again, the pigs seemed to answer, "Big Poppa loves us! He takes good care of us and feeds us well!"

Still no response from Poppa.
Just going about his chores as always.

This scene was repeated at the horses and the cows. The ventriloquist was beginning to think Poppa was deaf 'cause he'd not even batted an eye as the animals talked!

As they were walking toward the sheep, Poppa stopped and sat down his bucket. He turned slowly toward the ventriloquist and in his slow southern drawl he said,

"Before we go any farther, I just want you to know that them sheep over there are the biggest liars in the county."

Bud Head · #2 (**permalink**) 06-29-2002, 02:55 PM

ROTFLMAO BPP should enjoy this!

stonygurl · #3 (**permalink**) 06-29-2002, 03:02 PM

Good one, Smoki!

smokinokie · #4 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 05:26 PM

Sorry folks, I just wann keep this where my ol' buddy can see it when he get's back!

ReformMaryJaneLaws · #5 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 06:11 PM

That was too funny!!!!!

What's strange is that just last night, I told someone about my fear of ventriloquists dummies. They totally freak me out. There is no way that I could be friends with a ventriloquist that carries one of those freakin' dolls around. Is it just me or does it freak anyone else out? I'd rather hang out with the Ice Cream Man, if you can believe that!!!!!

ganjaphish · #6 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 07:45 PM

LOL that is the funniest story, oooo smokinokie BPP's gonna kick your ass when he gets back!!

those dummies ARE creepy. Ever see the "King of the Hill" when Bobby gets one of those dolls, and Dale freaks out? It's hilarious, yet chilling. I think it's their eyes, and freaky jaws.
xo~

smokinokie · #7 (**permalink**) 07-12-2002, 11:49 PM

Bumpity Bump.

Bud Head · #8 (**permalink**) 07-13-2002, 12:23 AM

Looking for trouble heh smokie???

Big Poppa Puff · #9 (**permalink**) 07-22-2002, 10:28 PM

That has got be the oldest joke I have ever heard. So of course, its finally made its way to Oklahoma.

We ain't got damn sheep in Alabama, its too hot to wear wool here except for a couple of days in late January and early February!

I'm going to get you back anyway! After Critter gets me back for all those Aussie jokes i told on him.

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#1 (permalink) 06-29-2002, 06:53 AM
smokinokie BaldHippeeRedneck Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Bewilderment near the State of Confusion Posts: 1,455	Vetriloquist on Big Poppa's Farm. One day Big Poppa Puff was sitting on his porch, playing his banjo, when a traveling ventriloquist came wandering up. He'd been abused for being a ventriloquist so he kept his trade a secret. He said he was a traveling salesman and he would help with the evening chores for a meal and a place to sleep. Being the lonely banjo player that he is, Poppa concurred. After a meal of grits and chitlins, they started off toward the barns for the evenings chores. As they were feeding the chickens, the ventriloquist decided to have a little fun with Poppa. As he was tossing feed he said, "My are'nt you some nice looking chickens! What makes you look so nice?" Then throwing his voice he made the chickens answer, "Big Poppa loves us! He takes good care of us and feeds us well!" The ventriloquist looked at Poppa to catch his reaction. Absolutely nothing. He went about his chores as if he had'nt heard them at all! Next they came to the pigs. As he was slopping them he said,"What nice looking pigs you are! How do you get so nice looking?" Throwing his voice again, the pigs seemed to answer, "Big Poppa loves us! He takes good care of us and feeds us well!" Still no response from Poppa. Just going about his chores as always. This scene was repeated at the horses and the cows. The ventriloquist was beginning to think Poppa was deaf 'cause he'd not even batted an eye as the animals talked! As they were walking toward the sheep, Poppa stopped and sat down his bucket. He turned slowly toward the ventriloquist and in his slow southern drawl he said, "Before we go any farther, I just want you to know that them sheep over there are the biggest liars in the county." __________________ There is no darkness, only an absence of light.

#2 (permalink) 06-29-2002, 02:55 PM
Bud Head Old School Stoner Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 10,792	ROTFLMAO BPP should enjoy this! __________________ If you can't own a John Deere, just get out of farming..

#3 (permalink) 06-29-2002, 03:02 PM
stonygurl Old School Stoner Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 402	HAHAHA Good one, Smoki!

#4 (permalink) 07-04-2002, 05:26 PM
smokinokie BaldHippeeRedneck Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Bewilderment near the State of Confusion Posts: 1,455	*BUMP* Sorry folks, I just wann keep this where my ol' buddy can see it when he get's back! __________________ There is no darkness, only an absence of light.

#5 (permalink) 07-04-2002, 06:11 PM
ReformMaryJaneLaws RMJL-Forum Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 23,270 Blog Entries: 11	That was too funny!!!!! What's strange is that just last night, I told someone about my fear of ventriloquists dummies. They totally freak me out. There is no way that I could be friends with a ventriloquist that carries one of those freakin' dolls around. Is it just me or does it freak anyone else out? I'd rather hang out with the Ice Cream Man, if you can believe that!!!!! __________________ Welcome to the City Grasscity Community - Forum Rules and How to Report Things Grasscity Shop, Grasscity Shop FAQ and Grasscity Shop Support

#6 (permalink) 07-04-2002, 07:45 PM
ganjaphish Old School Stoner Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: HumboldtCounty Posts: 1,718	LOL that is the funniest story, oooo smokinokie BPP's gonna kick your ass when he gets back!! those dummies ARE creepy. Ever see the "King of the Hill" when Bobby gets one of those dolls, and Dale freaks out? It's hilarious, yet chilling. I think it's their eyes, and freaky jaws. xo~ __________________ "if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" ~ jimmy buffett

#7 (permalink) 07-12-2002, 11:49 PM
smokinokie BaldHippeeRedneck Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Bewilderment near the State of Confusion Posts: 1,455	Bumpity Bump. __________________ There is no darkness, only an absence of light.

#8 (permalink) 07-13-2002, 12:23 AM
Bud Head Old School Stoner Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 10,792	Looking for trouble heh smokie??? __________________ If you can't own a John Deere, just get out of farming..

#9 (permalink) 07-22-2002, 10:28 PM
Big Poppa Puff Old School Stoner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Greenbow, Alabama Posts: 3,276	That has got be the oldest joke I have ever heard. So of course, its finally made its way to Oklahoma. We ain't got damn sheep in Alabama, its too hot to wear wool here except for a couple of days in late January and early February! I'm going to get you back anyway! After Critter gets me back for all those Aussie jokes i told on him. __________________ ...what a long strange trip its been...

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