Voodoo Penis

[critter]

In a message dated 10/2/2004 3:19:16 PM Eastern Standard Time, Depo100 writes:
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He
knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex
drive, so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied
while he was gone. He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking
around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old
man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We
have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know
of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped.

"Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need
something!" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The
Voodoo Penis." "So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved
with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an
ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said, "Big damn
deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" The old man replied,
"But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo
Penis, the door."The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box,
darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly
with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.
Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"
The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet
once more.

"I'll take it!" said the businessman. The guy took it home to his wife,
told her it was a special dild and that to use it, all she had to do was say
"Voodoo Penis, my crotch."

After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and thought of the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis,my crotch!" The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After threemind- shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but
it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but
nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it
off.

Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.She put
her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every
thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made
her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately
pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had
to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to
drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my
crotch and it won't stop screwing me!"

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass."
The rest is



now thats funny

[Budo]

Hahaha, a friend told me that joke years ago and I've always remembered it, that's like my second favorite joke hahahahaha.

[s0ad05]

haha yeah i heard that awhile ago that shit is funny

[stoned_soldier]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHah a lol

ohhh man..

[Noldster]

AHahhaahhahahahahahah. Voodoo penis, myyyy asss. That was great.

[critter]

rotflmao, l,am glad ya liked it so much.

[IceCreamKidd]

Oh man that is just wrong lol funny as hell.