Stoned Conversations

[Blutteufel]

As if being baked as hell wasn't fun enough, trying to have a normal conversation with another stoned person can be endlessly entertaining. We all know at least one person that's hilarious to talk to, whether it's just him, you or both that's been tokin'. For example, the guy that lives in the apartment right below me goes completely fucking insane when he gets good and baked, and talks about all kinds of twisted and outrageously funny philosophical and political shit, and the scary part is that later, if you think about what he said, it makes sense. Sometimes it's not easy to remember what happened, and in fact the only things I did remember from the other night of blazing with my friend Chris and some guy named JC he knew from work were the fucked up conversations we had.

I sometimes write down these conversations if I can remember enough of their contents, and I was lucky to remember these last two, because like I said, they are all I remember. They both happened within one hour, talking to the same guy.

The first one went something like this:

Me: This is some pretty good shit, man. I'm runnin' dry, but can I get a 20 bag off you? My wallet is at home but I'll pay you tomorrow and shit.
Chris: ....
Chris: What?
Me: What?
Me: I want to buy a bag of weed
Chris: Oh...oh, OK. How much you need?
JC: ....
Me:....
Me: A 20 bag
Chris: Alright. *Starts weighing some shit out from his stash*
JC: *Tokes, says something fucked up about Hilary Clinton's nipples*
Chris: *Puts the two grams into the bowl and starts smoking it*
Me: What the fuck?
Chris: Eh?
JC: ....
Me: You just smoked the weed I was about to buy, bitch
Chris: Oh, what the hell?
Me: ....
Chris: Ok, I'll get some more *starts toking more, then packs aanother bowl*
Me & JC: What the fuck?
Chris: Oh my God....
Me: ....
JC: ....
Chris: ....
Me: Dude, just try again....
Chris: What?
Me: Gimme some fuckin' grass!

At that point, we all started laughing until we couldn't breathe. He finally got it weighed and bagged, though. We just neded to get the damn bong out of his sight.

The next one happened about 40 minutes later when I decided I was going to buy some more of his funky ass chronic. More failure ensued:

Me: Well, half the 20 is gone, I need to buy some more
JC: You don't even have any money
Me: Not on me, but it's back at my place and he knows it
Chris: Yeah. How much do you need?
Me: I wanna get a half ounce of this shit
Chris: Damn, don't have that much. I can sell you some 1/4s, though
JC: ....
Me: ....
Chris: ....
Me: Then give me a 1/2
Chris: Dude, I just said I only have 1/4s
Me: ....What the hell?
Chris: What!?
JC: You're fucking stoned
Chris: Yeah?
Me: Two 1/4s make a half, numbnuts
Chris: ....
Chris: Oh yeah.....
Me: Boy, you done smoked yourself retarded

So damn funny when this stuff happend, and it's on an almost daily basis for me. What kind of shit goes down for you guys?

[iCHRONIC]

I couldn't remember a conversation word for word, and neither can you! Good day!

[Blutteufel]

Which is why I said it went something like that. Pay attention. I had to talk to the other guys to confirm some shit, because they didn't smoke as much as I did.

[C12]

funny shit man, i wish i remembered more of my stoned conversations.

they're probably all gibberish.

[lil_poot]

dude thats almost as funny as my friend trying to ride a bike with the front wheel backwards. lol and then he turns the handle bars around and thinks its fixed.

[frizby]

well this didnt happen when i was stoned....well i was stoned too....it was my first and only time doin acid..... and this isnt even really a conversation BUT....

i look at my friend and i tried thinking of something to say....and in my head i tried to think but the only thing that happened was my brain went "bleh..blipleh..blooleh.." just gibberish thoughts of well gibberish...... then then my string of thought came right back and it was all good

i know it wasnt 'REAL'....i laugh everytime i think about it tho...

[notbakedenough]

Once on shrooms we were looking at clouds. I saw a really long cloud on the horison and said to my buddy.

"Dude, that one looks like a huge tidal wave"

His response was:

"No....IT IS A TIDAL WAVE"

He then began to run in the opposite direction of the cloud, and I ran with him too. But luckily it was all in good fun and neither of us freaked out.

[LoserKid420]

LAWLERSKATERS!!!

that made me crack up dude...nice story

and the tidal wave one too

[Sir.TokeAlot]

Originally Posted by Blutteufel

Me: I wanna get a half ounce of this shit
Chris: Damn, don't have that much. I can sell you some 1/4s, though
JC: ....
Me: ....
Chris: ....
Me: Then give me a 1/2
Chris: Dude, I just said I only have 1/4s
Me: ....What the hell?
Chris: What!?
JC: You're fucking stoned
Chris: Yeah?
Me: Two 1/4s make a half, numbnuts
Chris: ....
Chris: Oh yeah.....
Me: Boy, you done smoked yourself retarded

Hahahaha i've had this exact thing happen to me!! shit's funny as hell though, got a good laugh out of it

[Blutteufel]

Originally Posted by Sir.TokeAlot

Hahahaha i've had this exact thing happen to me!

I think something like this has happened to everyone at some point.

[dudeits420]

Not really a conversation but a funnny moment with friends.

were are all watching mallrats, smokin a bowl.
right in the begining when brandy's dad's towel falls off.
me, right before the towel falls off: don't look
all of my friends: wha?... -- ah damn man!! ah oh eww fuck man...
me: i told u guys not to look
friends: yeah but... ah man that was a man, man.

[Mr.Whirly]

Said at same time-
Me: (shouting) TRICK-A!!
Friend: Are you high?

Then we both fall on the ground laughing uncontrollably for a good 5 min

[Blutteufel]

Well, here's some new ones that happened about two weeks ago when I spent the night at a friend's place with some other people. We were stoned and drunk, so you can imagine the insanity that took place. Unfortunately, I only remember a few short sentences since we were all too fucked up to remember, let alone help remind one another what happened.

Zach: (He was mostly drunk, and only took a few hits because he easily gets sick when doing both) *Picks up the cat, which was called Ashes, and holds it up in front of him, staring right into its face* Waffles....Homies like you die every day in the struggle...."
Everyone else: What the fuck? *then we laughed for some time*

Later on....

Zach: (while holding a lit blow torch and a machete, talking to the owner of the house, Joey) Let's go break your dad out of jail, man.
Everyone else: *See previous response*
Zach: Fucking...Jail, man. Let's get him out....

Even later....

Me: (completely trashed from tequila and White Widow) What the hell d'yall think yer....doing?
Everyone else: What?
Me: And another thing....(apparently, I didn't say anything after that; I just started smoking again and we all forgot I was trying to say something).

[rnc3147]

My friend to dealer *hands 5 dollar bill*: Hook up this 5 bag for me, man.

Me: That's not a hooked up 5 dollar bill you gave him, why the fuck should he hook up your bag.

(may not make much sense, but it was funny when we were all blazed)