Stoner Journal and Quotes

[Superdude2006]

For my hundredth post I decided that I should add a little something to the forum. For the past few months a friend and I have been co-authoring a stoner journal filled with humorous or helpful thoughts we had while being stoned. Sure it's not a new idea, but it's still a good one. Feel free to post some or your funniest (or whatever) quotes said while high.

"He looks like a cat!" "That's what we like about him."
"Walgreens gets a thumbs up for buy one get one gummy worms."
"Do you know what we should do?" "Smoke out of an apple?"
"Seriously, your finger just weighed like 100 lbs just then."

Thanks for the last few months; they've been glorious.

[senior_ganj]

"There's no way you could hit me with a cow!"

[Maitereya]

my sig

its not funny, but it has meaning.

[infinity]

Originally Posted by senior_ganj

"There's no way you could hit me with a cow!"

LMAO +rep man. The cat one was funny to, sorry im not adding guys but nice thread + posts.

[AndyPL]

Me and a friend of mine were telling about an encounter with the police we had had to a girl at a party.

Girl: "You really told the cop to fuck off?"

Me: "You're damn right I did."

Buddy: "Yeah he's a real badass"

Me: "Hell yeah, after that I picked up his car, twirled it above my head and kicked it into the ocean. And it killed a whale."

Buddy: "And there was an old man with pipe beside him who said that that was the furthest he had ever seen someone kick a car"

Me: "And an indian had visited me in a dream the night before to tell me that that was going to be my destiny."

Buddy: "And some boy at a lemonade stand told him that he was a new his new hero."

Me: "And then I tried his lemonade, and it was watered down so I kicked the boy into the ocean too.

Buddy: "And then killed his dog."

Me: "And it was the dog's birthday."

[xXMelkorXx]

"Do you actually think you can fit through that?!"

"Try hitting him with chains. Because chains are fun."

"I'm not above the influence, i'm on the influence."

"Screw this, we aren't getting laid here."

[Kaleidoscope]

iv began writing a book called mount baker and adventures in the Fraser Vally. full of short stories and quotes. About mushroom ,lsd trips and funny things while stoned. And all Very much True Events.

So we were siting in a play "train" in a park near a lake. we proceed to smoke a few joints and our pathetic attempt to hotbox one of the toy train "cars" ends up in failure. Justin looks freaked out and looked into my eyes, i tilt my head in Confusion and Shane just starts staring at the ground. The conversation starts up without hesitation. Justin begins with slight hesitation.. something must be wrong here.
"what if some guy was parachuting out of a plane and his parachute malfunctioned and he crashed into this train in the park"?
my head reverts to normal position at this point at i peak my head out of the train to look into the sky.
"your stoned" i state to him, its obvious.. or is it. maybe i haven't been thinking this thoroughly.. maybe it is after all possible? "no cant be" did i say that to them or did they just ignore me? By the time i have my head back in the train. i realize my friends have followed my instincts and are now, themselves inspecting the starlight backdrop.
"holy fuck lets get out of here" Justin exclaims with horror.
"your mad" i suggest without much intent. Me being the only one now left in the train i proceed to get out. First step is intense, maybe he was right. After all he is still staring into that black filled void of a sky.
"quickly" i shout. we must escape our prison before the sun rises. Shane nods his head in agreement. Eagerly we leave the tainted zone for impact bodies that could fall all around us at every moment.
"Justin Goyer man what the fuck are you doing?"
"Don't worry about it man" he reverts his head to look at mine. i smile and were on our trek back. The road is curved and our legs at this curve with it.

[plumface_2002]

My favorite line that i ever said was the first time i did dxm i walked over to my friends house to share the good news with him and as soon as he anwsered the door i had an out of body exp and i thought i was him looking at me... so he anwsers the door from having just woke up and im like

"Hi, I'm you."

and he just stares at me for a few seconds closes the door and i go on with my buisness haha.

[eldude-arino]

Me: I think Josh and Bud have non-sexual crushes on each other
Everyone in the upstairs hallway looks at me with confusion.
Me: They been hugging and rubbing each others hair all night. I mean I get that we're all buddies here, but I can't recall the last time that I was wasted enough to hug on a dude all night, 'specially when there are 1:1 chics here finally.
Nick: Yeah dude.
Ray: ::stoned giggle::
Random Girl 1: That's kindda hot, how much for you two to kiss.
Me: You're missing the point, it's a non-sexual thing.
Bud: Yeah, I think Josh does have a crush on me.
Josh: Yeah, I think I does have a crush on me too.


so it was funnier in the moment....that was a long night

[AndyPL]

"I like the word ultimatum... it's like some kind of space-age metal... or maybe a robot's name... I guess that would be the Ultimatron or something though."

"Who do you think would me the Ultimatron's sidekick?"

"I dunno... the Empty Threat-Bot I guess?