i need to move out

[VeiledReality]

Originally Posted by Purged1234

Soon.

Right now i've got 10$ in my pocket and a job interview tommorow for part-time 9.50$ an hour night stocking at a publix.

I can't smoke because of my parents. They are wholly against it, not the plant itself but because it is illegal. I guess, either way, thats the guise they use.

I havent smoked regularly in several months.. July 4th i smoked, got tested a week later by surprise by my dad and said next time i'd be kicked out and disowned.

So i stopped from like july 4th til october 3rd. within that time frame i didn't get a single drug test so i thought (stupid i know) that i could sneak in a toke.

went to a hotel on october 3rd with friends and got blazed as hell on some legit sour d out of a 3 footer. given my tolerance break you can imagine how high i got =) haha.

I took a detox drink and a urine test after and passed, and bought another detox drink just to be ready for future drug test. I left the drink at a friends house incase i thought i would be drug tested.

Nov 2 (a month later) my dad calls me and says "hey come home i need you to help me with a project" which was a fucking lie my sisters found out about me smoking and ratted me out to my father. yeah some sisters right?

anyways i walk into the door and he hands me a cup and says go. i'm freaking, pissed off and hurt that my family would rat me out and use deception like that.

anyways i come up positive and i was given an ultimatum

1) move out that day. car taken away (its in their name, despite it being a "graduation present"...fuckers.) , no college help, i can forget about them getting me lasik, and basically, literally, disowned.

2) submit to lockdown. I can't see any of my "dope smoking friends" , i can't go anywhere, they took my TV AWAY (Wtf? haha am i 12?) , they also violated my privacy and searched my computer and saw grass-city and MJ related bookmarks. I have to go to Narcotis Anonymous meetings every sunday, and "family counseling sessions" every wednesday. I am being drug tested EVERY SATURDAY. and am financially cut-off because they think all i do is buy dope so i'm forced to get a job.Which isn't a bad thing i do want a job. mainly to move out and be independent of such a corrupt family. They also want to me start paying rent when i get a job. pfft.


I'm 19 years old, it's about time to move out anyway. Theres no way i can live like this for long but i have to bare it for now. I'm basically on fucking probation. There is also no way i will pay them rent to live like this.


Anyways, i need

1) to get my own car, in my own name, so that they can't threaten me in that regard anymore. I have no idea about buying a car or even how much i can expect to pay for a down payment or monthly / insurance. Any recommendations on what car would be the best route to go?

2) to find a place i can live alone or with roomates. i'm probably going to HAVE to get roomates because i really don't think i can afford to live alone, pay for my own car/insurance, and pay for college in a year. If i move out, the only way i can get financial assistance from my parents if i STILL submit to drug tests.


The worst part is they were trying to make me feel bad about being a "Dope smoker" and saying "They raised me better than this" and all this garbage, they are treating me like a meth addict or common criminal. I just smoke weed! wtf =( i don't even drink.

I've never been in trouble with the law, i don't sell, i just smoke weed..


to be independent of my family i require:
My own down payment on car, with ability to pay insurance and monthly payments
To be able to pay rent
to be able to eat cheaply
to be able to buy some weed. Even if its just an ounce a month of some mids, and conserve.
to be able to go to college and pay for books and whatnot..

Can i do this on a 9.50/hr publix job, working full time (40 a week) and saving (mainly for the down payment on car)



BTW if decide to play thier game for a few months and just save money i can probably get them to help or even PAY for my down payment on my car, this would deceptive but fuck it, they deceived me and i don't like the way my family treats me. (like a criminal)






TLDR: Can i live independent of my family with or without roomates on a 9.50 an hr job at a publix? If roomates, how many do you suggest. 1-3 ? all working of course.

Sure but it'd have to be an okay apartment with at least 1 roommate.

All you need is your part of the rent,food,gas,car payment,bud money.

Calculate how much all that would cost you and see if you can afford it.

You probably can but you'd have to live kind of tight.

[eric111e]

Your parents seem like they care about you and i bet they wont just cut you off. They just tell you that so you will move in the right direction, because they know you being on your own just isnt realistic

[Tupperware]

Originally Posted by eric111e

Your parents seem like they care about you and i bet they wont just cut you off. They just tell you that so you will move in the right direction, because they know you being on your own just isnt realistic

This, this, this.

Again dude, a lot of us have been there at that point where tensions with the family are enough to make an angsty teenager go loco.

But based on your dad's comments, he just wants you to keep it a secret. He realizes there's nothing bad about weed, he just doesn't want you doing anything illegal. If you're making it obvious enough that people can rat you out to your parents, you're not keeping it a secret.

Just apologize, and toke secretly. No high in the world is worth chasing over keeping your family intact.

[Purged1234]

Originally Posted by eric111e

Your parents seem like they care about you and i bet they wont just cut you off. They just tell you that so you will move in the right direction, because they know you being on your own just isnt realistic

My mom cares about ME, this i know.

My father is trying to mold me into his ideal image of a perfect human, many of his ideas don't sit well with me and i need to get away from him, forever.

I know my mother would always help me out, unless i got into really bad stuff, but my father is very stern on the cut-me-off deal, he even said he would remove me from his will if i didn't comply to his every whim. Those. Exact. Words.

Total control freak, and right now i'm dependant on him for survival. Thats what i want to change.

I can't wait until i have kids, i'm going to have a very laissez-faire relationship with them. Not this control-freak attitude my father has.


But as it is, thanks blades for all of the opinions/support/help. I feel like i can talk with you guys about things i can't ask people in my real life from. This is why i love this community =)

I do plan to comply for a few months, and hardcore save. I plan to try and leave on a good note, but really it's all fueld by resentment. I can never have a pure relationship with my father, i just have to deceive to get what i need to propel myself into my own life, not his ideal of how i should live my life. Its time to cut the cord. I hope this job comes through, so i don't have to waste any more time applying/finding work and i can just start putting the plan into motion.

[Purged1234]

what is a general ballpark estimate for monthly rent for 2 bedroom apartment, and a 3bedroom apartment? Nothing fancy, nothing ghetto. Something in the middle. Would 700 be a good ballpark estimate?

I have a few good friends who are employed and looking to get a place within the next year.

[stoner_lukas]

All depends on where you live. An apartment that goes for $500 here in SLC could easily run you $1500 in other places.

It wouldn't hurt to stop by a few apartment places and pick up some information.

[blazedandcrazed]

Originally Posted by Purged1234

what is a general ballpark estimate for monthly rent for 2 bedroom apartment, and a 3bedroom apartment? Nothing fancy, nothing ghetto. Something in the middle. Would 700 be a good ballpark estimate?

I have a few good friends who are employed and looking to get a place within the next year.

700 should be easy atlanta is cheap as hell

[eric111e]

You may never agree with your father but one day you will realize the message hes been trying to get across to you and you can take what you want from it and form your own ideals. Everyone is different and thinks differently, Your supposed to have different ideas then him. But everything he tells you is for your own good. Hes not gonna tell you to go out and smoke dope because hes your father. In his eyes you might not be handling your actions like an adult and you are making it known and he wont let it go until he imprints his morals into your head, but he knows someday when your on your own you will remember what he taught you and you will form a more mature respect for his thoughts. Trust me I used to hate my mom and all the bullshit she put on me when I was younger and I never understood it, but now that im on my own I can think about everything hes ever told me. While I still may do what she doesnt want me to do I now understand what it was all about.

But yeah get a roommate for sure. I live in a 1 br and I pay like 800 by myself. And thats like 75% of my income

[Dkan]

I'm not gonna lie, but this sounds like the dumbest thing you could do. You're gonna ruin the rest of your life because you NEEED to smoke pot. Quit smoking for a while, appologize to your parents, and hope they'll still help you pay for college. Get into some dorms when they regain your trust, then do what ever the hellll you want. But that's just my opinion

[KillerKush]

If you go to a university and get good grades and piff they really can not do anything.

[stoner_lukas]

Originally Posted by KillerKush

If you go to a university and get good grades and piff they really can not do anything.

They can do whatever they want until he is completely out of their house, and self-sufficient.

[Purged1234]

Originally Posted by stoner_lukas

They can do whatever they want until he is completely out of their house, and self-sufficient.

Exactly. If i go to college, get good grades and come up positive on a drug test, they will forgo all funding assistance for college.

I need to get myself into an independent mode, even if it means living cheap until after college.


It's not so much revolved around i need to smoke pot.

Smoking weed has shown me my fathers true nature and the extent of his threat. and the extent to which i depend on him. I hate saying that. .. "I depend on someone else."

I need to get myself into a position where the only person i depend on is myself, and if that is not do-able without roomates, then i would prefer my roomates to be of like-minded nature and not so demoralizing and threatening.

I can't stand to live under threat.


Like if i don't comply to his every whim, i'm disowned. the fuck?

[Dkan]

Originally Posted by Purged1234

Exactly. If i go to college, get good grades and come up positive on a drug test, they will forgo all funding assistance for college.

I need to get myself into an independent mode, even if it means living cheap until after college.


It's not so much revolved around i need to smoke pot.

Smoking weed has shown me my fathers true nature and the extent of his threat. and the extent to which i depend on him. I hate saying that. .. "I depend on someone else."

I need to get myself into a position where the only person i depend on is myself, and if that is not do-able without roomates, then i would prefer my roomates to be of like-minded nature and not so demoralizing and threatening.

I can't stand to live under threat.


Like if i don't comply to his every whim, i'm disowned. the fuck?

Well I don't blame you then, but make sure you think your decision over thoroughly, and don't forget to weigh all your options. You should check out The Quran though; It gives good insight as to how to get though situations like the one you're in. Hope everything turns out well for you