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Discussion in 'General' started by des esseintes, Oct 25, 2009.

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  1. #1 des esseintes, Oct 25, 2009
    In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.
    “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.”
    He didn't say any more, but we've always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I'm inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought-frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
    And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after a certain point I don't care what it's founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction-Gatsby, who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby impressionability which is dignified under the name of the “creative temperament.”-it was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No-Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men.
    My family have been prominent, well-to-do people in this Middle Western city for three generations. The Carraways are something of a clan, and we have a tradition that we're descended from the Dukes of Buccleuch, but the actual founder of my line was my grandfather's brother, who came here in fifty-one, sent a substitute to the Civil War, and started the wholesale hardware business that my father carries on to-day.
    I never saw this great-uncle, but I'm supposed to look like him-with special reference to the rather hard-boiled painting that hangs in father's office I graduated from New Haven in 1915, just a quarter of a century after my father, and a little later I participated in that delayed Teutonic migration known as the Great War. I enjoyed the counter-raid so thoroughly that I came back restless. Instead of being the warm centre of the world, the Middle West now seemed like the ragged edge of the universe-so I decided to go East and learn the bond business. Everybody I knew was in the bond business, so I supposed it could support one more single man. All my aunts and uncles talked it over as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said, “Why-ye-es,” with very grave, hesitant faces. Father agreed to finance me for a year, and after various delays I came East, permanently, I thought, in the spring of twenty-two.
    The practical thing was to find rooms in the city, but it was a warm season, and I had just left a country of wide lawns and friendly trees, so when a young man at the office suggested that we take a house together in a commuting town, it sounded like a great idea. He found the house, a weather-beaten cardboard bungalow at eighty a month, but at the last minute the firm ordered him to Washington, and I went out to the country alone. I had a dog-at least I had him for a few days until he ran away-and an old Dodge and a Finnish woman, who made my bed and cooked breakfast and muttered Finnish wisdom to herself over the electric stove.
    It was lonely for a day or so until one morning some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me on the road.
    “How do you get to West Egg village?” he asked helplessly.
    I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighborhood.
    And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.
    There was so much to read, for one thing, and so much fine health to be pulled down out of the young breath-giving air. I bought a dozen volumes on banking and credit and investment securities, and they stood on my shelf in red and gold like new money from the mint, promising to unfold the shining secrets that only Midas and Morgan and Maecenas knew. And I had the high intention of reading many other books besides. I was rather literary in college-one year I wrote a series of very solemn and obvious editorials for the “Yale News.”-and now I was going to bring back all such things into my life and become again that most limited of all specialists, the “well-rounded man.” This isn't just an epigram-life is much more successfully looked at from a single window, after all.
    It was a matter of chance that I should have rented a house in one of the strangest communities in North America. It was on that slender riotous island which extends itself due east of New York-and where there are, among other natural curiosities, two unusual formations of land. Twenty miles from the city a pair of enormous eggs, identical in contour and separated only by a courtesy bay, jut out into the most domesticated body of salt water in the Western hemisphere, the great wet barnyard of Long Island Sound. they are not perfect ovals-like the egg in the Columbus story, they are both crushed flat at the contact end-but their physical resemblance must be a source of perpetual confusion to the gulls that fly overhead. to the wingless a more arresting phenomenon is their dissimilarity in every particular except shape and size.
    I lived at West Egg, the-well, the less fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them. my house was at the very tip of the egg, only fifty yards from the Sound, and squeezed between two huge places that rented for twelve or fifteen thousand a season. the one on my right was a colossal affair by any standard-it was a factual imitation of some Hotel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool, and more than forty acres of lawn and garden. it was Gatsby's mansion. Or, rather, as I didn't know Mr. Gatsby, it was a mansion inhabited by a gentleman of that name. My own house was an eyesore, but it was a small eyesore, and it had been overlooked, so I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbor's lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires-all for eighty dollars a month.
    Across the courtesy bay the white palaces of fashionable East Egg glittered along the water, and the history of the summer really begins on the evening I drove over there to have dinner with the Tom Buchanans. Daisy was my second cousin once removed, and I'd known Tom in college. And just after the war I spent two days with them in Chicago.
    Her husband, among various physical accomplishments, had been one of the most powerful ends that ever played football at New Haven-a national figure in a way, one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savors of anti-climax. His family were enormously wealthy-even in college his freedom with money was a matter for reproach-but now he'd left Chicago and come East in a fashion that rather took your breath away: for instance, he'd brought down a string of polo ponies from Lake Forest. it was hard to realize that a man in my own generation was wealthy enough to do that.
    Why they came East I don't know. They had spent a year in France for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. This was a permanent move, said Daisy over the telephone, but I didn't believe it-I had no sight into Daisy's heart, but I felt that Tom would drift on forever seeking, a little wistfully, for the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable football game.
    And so it happened that on a warm windy evening I drove over to East Egg to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all. Their house was even more elaborate than I expected, a cheerful red-and-white Georgian Colonial mansion, overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens-finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold and wide open to the warm windy afternoon, and Tom Buchanan in riding clothes was standing with his legs apart on the front porch.
    He had changed since his New Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw-haired man of thirty with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body-he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage-a cruel body.
    His speaking voice, a gruff husky tenor, added to the impression of fractiousness he conveyed. There was a touch of paternal contempt in it, even toward people he liked-and there were men at New Haven who had hated his guts.
    “Now, don't think my opinion on these matters is final,” he seemed to say, “just because I'm stronger and more of a man than you are.” We were in the same senior society, and while we were never intimate I always had the impression that he approved of me and wanted me to like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
    We talked for a few minutes on the sunny porch.
    “I've got a nice place here,” he said, his eyes flashing about restlessly.
    Turning me around by one arm, he moved a broad flat hand along the front vista, including in its sweep a sunken Italian garden, a half acre of deep, pungent roses, and a snub-nosed motor-boat that bumped the tide offshore.
    “It belonged to Demaine, the oil man.” He turned me around again, politely and abruptly. “We'll go inside.”
    We walked through a high hallway into a bright rosy-colored space, fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end. The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags, twisting them up toward the frosted wedding-cake of the ceiling, and then rippled over the wine-colored rug, making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
    The only completely stationary object in the room was an enormous couch on which two young women were buoyed up as though upon an anchored balloon. They were both in white, and their dresses were rippling and fluttering as if they had just been blown back in after a short flight around the house. I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall. Then there was a boom as Tom Buchanan shut the rear windows and the caught wind died out about the room, and the curtains and the rugs and the two young women ballooned slowly to the floor.
    The younger of the two was a stranger to me. She was extended full length at her end of the divan, completely motionless, and with her chin raised a little, as if she were balancing something on it which was quite likely to fall. If she saw me out of the corner of her eyes she gave no hint of it-indeed, I was almost surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by coming in.
    The other girl, Daisy, made an attempt to rise-she leaned slightly forward with a conscientious expression-then she laughed, an absurd, charming little laugh, and I laughed too and came forward into the room.
    “I'm p-paralyzed with happiness.” She laughed again, as if she said something very witty, and held my hand for a moment, looking up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had. She hinted in a murmur that the surname of the balancing girl was Baker. (I've heard it said that Daisy's murmur was only to make people lean toward her; an irrelevant criticism that made it no less charming.)
    At any rate, Miss Baker's lips fluttered, she nodded at me almost imperceptibly, and then quickly tipped her head back again-the object she was balancing had obviously tottered a little and given her something of a fright. Again a sort of apology arose to my lips. Almost any exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from me.
    I looked back at my cousin, who began to ask me questions in her low, thrilling voice. It was the kind of voice that the ear follows up and down, as if each speech is an arrangement of notes that will never be played again. Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice that men who had cared for her found difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered “Listen,” a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.
    I told her how I had stopped off in Chicago for a day on my way East, and how a dozen people had sent their love through me.
    “Do they miss me?” she cried ecstatically.
    “The whole town is desolate. All the cars have the left rear wheel painted black as a mourning wreath, and there's a persistent wail all night along the north shore.”
    “How gorgeous! Let's go back, Tom. To-morrow!” Then she added irrelevantly: “You ought to see the baby.”
    “I'd like to.”
    “She's asleep. She's three years old. Haven't you ever seen her?”
    “Never.”
    “Well, you ought to see her. She's--”
    Tom Buchanan, who had been hovering restlessly about the room, stopped and rested his hand on my shoulder.
    “What you doing, Nick?”
    “I'm a bond man.”
    “Who with?”
    I told him.
    “Never heard of them,” he remarked decisively.
    This annoyed me.
    “You will,” I answered shortly. “You will if you stay in the East.”
    “Oh, I'll stay in the East, don't you worry,” he said, glancing at Daisy and then back at me, as if he were alert for something more. “I'd be a God damned fool to live anywhere else.”
    At this point Miss Baker said: “Absolutely!” with such suddenness that I started-it was the first word she uttered since I came into the room. Evidently it surprised her as much as it did me, for she yawned and with a series of rapid, deft movements stood up into the room.
    “I'm stiff,” she complained, “I've been lying on that sofa for as long as I can remember.”
    “Don't look at me,” Daisy retorted, “I've been trying to get you to New York all afternoon.”
    “No, thanks,” said Miss Baker to the four cocktails just in from the pantry, “I'm absolutely in training.”
    Her host looked at her incredulously.
    “You are!” He took down his drink as if it were a drop in the bottom of a glass. “How you ever get anything done is beyond me.”
    I looked at Miss Baker, wondering what it was she “got done.” I enjoyed looking at her. She was a slender, small-breasted girl, with an erect carriage, which she accentuated by throwing her body backward at the shoulders like a young cadet. Her gray sun-strained eyes looked back at me with polite reciprocal curiosity out of a wan, charming, discontented face. It occurred to me now that I had seen her, or a picture of her, somewhere before.
    “You live in West Egg,” she remarked contemptuously. “I know somebody there.”
    “I don't know a single--”
    “You must know Gatsby.”
    “Gatsby?” demanded Daisy. “What Gatsby?”
    Before I could reply that he was my neighbor dinner was announced; wedging his tense arm imperatively under mine, Tom Buchanan compelled me from the room as though he were moving a checker to another square.
    Slenderly, languidly, their hands set lightly on their hips, the two young women preceded us out onto a rosy-colored porch, open toward the sunset, where four candles flickered on the table in the diminished wind.
    “Why CANDLES?” objected Daisy, frowning. She snapped them out with her fingers. “In two weeks it'll be the longest day in the year.” She looked at us all radiantly. “Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it.”
    “We ought to plan something,” yawned Miss Baker, sitting down at the table as if she were getting into bed.
    “All right,” said Daisy. “What'll we plan?” She turned to me helplessly: “What do people plan?”
    Before I could answer her eyes fastened with an awed expression on her little finger.
    “Look!” she complained; “I hurt it.”
    We all looked-the knuckle was black and blue.
    “You did it, Tom,” she said accusingly. “I know you didn't mean to, but you DID do it. That's what I get for marrying a brute of a man, a great, big, hulking physical specimen of a--”
    “I hate that word hulking,” objected Tom crossly, “even in kidding.”
    “Hulking,” insisted Daisy.
    Sometimes she and Miss Baker talked at once, unobtrusively and with a bantering inconsequence that was never quite chatter, that was as cool as their white dresses and their impersonal eyes in the absence of all desire. They were here, and they accepted Tom and me, making only a polite pleasant effort to entertain or to be entertained. They knew that presently dinner would be over and a little later the evening too would be over and casually put away. It was sharply different from the West, where an evening was hurried from phase to phase toward its close, in a continually disappointed anticipation or else in sheer nervous dread of the moment itself.
    “You make me feel uncivilized, Daisy,” I confessed on my second glass of corky but rather impressive claret. “Can't you talk about crops or something?”
    I meant nothing in particular by this remark, but it was taken up in an unexpected way.
    “Civilization's going to pieces,” broke out Tom violently. “I've gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read ‘The Rise of the Colored Empires' by this man Goddard?”
    “Why, no,” I answered, rather surprised by his tone.
    “Well, it's a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don't look out the white race will be-will be utterly submerged. It's all scientific stuff; it's been proved.”
    “Tom's getting very profound,” said Daisy, with an expression of unthoughtful sadness. “He reads deep books with long words in them. What was that word we--”
    “Well, these books are all scientific,” insisted Tom, glancing at her impatiently. “This fellow has worked out the whole thing. It's up to us, who are the dominant race, to watch out or these other races will have control of things.”
    “We've got to beat them down,” whispered Daisy, winking ferociously toward the fervent sun.
    “You ought to live in California-” began Miss Baker, but Tom interrupted her by shifting heavily in his chair.
    “This idea is that we're Nordics. I am, and you are, and you are, and--” After an infinitesimal hesitation he included Daisy with a slight nod, and she winked at me again. “-And we've produced all the things that go to make civilization-oh, science and art, and all that. Do you see?”
    There was something pathetic in his concentration, as if his complacency, more acute than of old, was not enough to him any more. When, almost immediately, the telephone rang inside and the butler left the porch Daisy seized upon the momentary interruption and leaned toward me.
    “I'll tell you a family secret,” she whispered enthusiastically. “It's about the butler's nose. Do you want to hear about the butler's nose?”
    “That's why I came over to-night.”
    “Well, he wasn't always a butler; he used to be the silver polisher for some people in New York that had a silver service for two hundred people. He had to polish it from morning till night, until finally it began to affect his nose--”
    “Things went from bad to worse,” suggested Miss Baker.
    “Yes. Things went from bad to worse, until finally he had to give up his position.”
    For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened-then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk.
    The butler came back and murmured something close to Tom's ear, whereupon Tom frowned, pushed back his chair, and without a word went inside. As if his absence quickened something within her, Daisy leaned forward again, her voice glowing and singing.
    “I love to see you at my table, Nick. You remind me of a-of a rose, an absolute rose. Doesn't he?” She turned to Miss Baker for confirmation: “An absolute rose?”
    This was untrue. I am not even faintly like a rose. She was only extemporizing, but a stirring warmth flowed from her, as if her heart was trying to come out to you concealed in one of those breathless, thrilling words. Then suddenly she threw her napkin on the table and excused herself and went into the house.
    Miss Baker and I exchanged a short glance consciously devoid of meaning. I was about to speak when she sat up alertly and said “Sh!” in a warning voice. A subdued impassioned murmur was audible in the room beyond, and Miss Baker leaned forward unashamed, trying to hear. The murmur trembled on the verge of coherence, sank down, mounted excitedly, and then ceased altogether.
    “This Mr. Gatsby you spoke of is my neighbor--” I said.
    “Don't talk. I want to hear what happens.”
    “Is something happening?” I inquired innocently.
    “You mean to say you don't know?” said Miss Baker, honestly surprised. “I thought everybody knew.”
    “I don't.”
    “Why--” she said hesitantly, “Tom's got some woman in New York.”
    “Got some woman?” I repeated blankly.
    Miss Baker nodded.
    “She might have the decency not to telephone him at dinner time. Don't you think?”
    Almost before I had grasped her meaning there was the flutter of a dress and the crunch of leather boots, and Tom and Daisy were back at the table.
    “It couldn't be helped!” cried Daisy with tense gaiety.
    She sat down, glanced searchingly at Miss Baker and then at me, and continued: “I looked outdoors for a minute, and it's very romantic outdoors. There's a bird on the lawn that I think must be a nightingale come over on the Cunard or White Star Line. He's singing away--” Her voice sang: “It's romantic, isn't it, Tom?”
    “Very romantic,” he said, and then miserably to me: “If it's light enough after dinner, I want to take you down to the stables.”
    The telephone rang inside, startlingly, and as Daisy shook her head decisively at Tom the subject of the stables, in fact all subjects, vanished into air. Among the broken fragments of the last five minutes at table I remember the candles being lit again, pointlessly, and I was conscious of wanting to look squarely at every one, and yet to avoid all eyes. I couldn't guess what Daisy and Tom were thinking, but I doubt if even Miss Baker, who seemed to have mastered a certain hardy scepticism, was able utterly to put this fifth guest's shrill metallic urgency out of mind. To a certain temperament the situation might have seemed intriguing-my own instinct was to telephone immediately for the police.
    The horses, needless to say, were not mentioned again. Tom and Miss Baker, with several feet of twilight between them, strolled back into the library, as if to a vigil beside a perfectly tangible body, while, trying to look pleasantly interested and a little deaf, I followed Daisy around a chain of connecting verandas to the porch in front. In its deep gloom we sat down side by side on a wicker settee.
    Daisy took her face in her hands as if feeling its lovely shape, and her eyes moved gradually out into the velvet dusk. I saw that turbulent emotions possessed her, so I asked what I thought would be some sedative questions about her little girl.
    “We don't know each other very well, Nick,” she said suddenly. “Even if we are cousins. You didn't come to my wedding.”
    “I wasn't back from the war.”
    “That's true.” She hesitated. “Well, I've had a very bad time, Nick, and I'm pretty cynical about everything.”
    Evidently she had reason to be. I waited but she didn't say any more, and after a moment I returned rather feebly to the subject of her daughter.
    “I suppose she talks, and-eats, and everything.”
    “Oh, yes.” She looked at me absently. “Listen, Nick; let me tell you what I said when she was born. Would you like to hear?”
    “Very much.”
    “It'll show you how I've gotten to feel about-things. Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. ‘all right,' I said, ‘I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool-that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”
    “You see I think everything's terrible anyhow,” she went on in a convinced way. “Everybody thinks so-the most advanced people. And I KNOW. I've been everywhere and seen everything and done everything.” Her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way, rather like Tom's, and she laughed with thrilling scorn. “Sophisticated-God, I'm sophisticated!”
    The instant her voice broke off, ceasing to compel my attention, my belief, I felt the basic insincerity of what she had said. It made me uneasy, as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me. I waited, and sure enough, in a moment she looked at me with an absolute smirk on her lovely face, as if she had asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged.
    Inside, the crimson room bloomed with light.
    Tom and Miss Baker sat at either end of the long couch and she read aloud to him from the SATURDAY EVENING POST.-the words, murmurous and uninflected, running together in a soothing tune. The lamp-light, bright on his boots and dull on the autumn-leaf yellow of her hair, glinted along the paper as she turned a page with a flutter of slender muscles in her arms.
    When we came in she held us silent for a moment with a lifted hand.
    “To be continued,” she said, tossing the magazine on the table, “in our very next issue.”
    Her body asserted itself with a restless movement of her knee, and she stood up.
    “Ten o'clock,” she remarked, apparently finding the time on the ceiling. “Time for this good girl to go to bed.”
    “Jordan's going to play in the tournament to-morrow,” explained Daisy, “over at Westchester.”
    “Oh-you're Jordan BAKER.”
    I knew now why her face was familiar-its pleasing contemptuous expression had looked out at me from many rotogravure pictures of the sporting life at Asheville and Hot Springs and Palm Beach. I had heard some story of her too, a critical, unpleasant story, but what it was I had forgotten long ago.
    “Good night,” she said softly. “Wake me at eight, won't you.”
    “If you'll get up.”
    “I will. Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon.”
    “Of course you will,” confirmed Daisy. “In fact I think I'll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I'll sort of-oh-fling you together. You know-lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing--”
    “Good night,” called Miss Baker from the stairs. “I haven't heard a word.”
    “She's a nice girl,” said Tom after a moment. “They oughtn't to let her run around the country this way.”
    “Who oughtn't to?” inquired Daisy coldly.
    “Her family.”
    “Her family is one aunt about a thousand years old. Besides, Nick's going to look after her, aren't you, Nick? She's going to spend lots of week-ends out here this summer. I think the home influence will be very good for her.”
    Daisy and Tom looked at each other for a moment in silence.
    “Is she from New York?” I asked quickly.
    “From Louisville. Our white girlhood was passed together there. Our beautiful white--”
    “Did you give Nick a little heart to heart talk on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
    “Did I?” She looked at me.
    “I can't seem to remember, but I think we talked about the Nordic race. Yes, I'm sure we did. It sort of crept up on us and first thing you know--”
    “Don't believe everything you hear, Nick,” he advised me.
    I said lightly that I had heard nothing at all, and a few minutes later I got up to go home. They came to the door with me and stood side by side in a cheerful square of light. As I started my motor Daisy peremptorily called: “Wait!”
    “I forgot to ask you something, and it's important. We heard you were engaged to a girl out West.”
    “That's right,” corroborated Tom kindly. “We heard that you were engaged.”
    “It's libel. I'm too poor.”
    “But we heard it,” insisted Daisy, surprising me by opening up again in a flower-like way. “We heard it from three people, so it must be true.”
    Of course I knew what they were referring to, but I wasn't even vaguely engaged. The fact that gossip had published the banns was one of the reasons I had come East. You can't stop going with an old friend on account of rumors, and on the other hand I had no intention of being rumored into marriage.
    Their interest rather touched me and made them less remotely rich-nevertheless, I was confused and a little disgusted as I drove away. It seemed to me that the thing for Daisy to do was to rush out of the house, child in arms-but apparently there were no such intentions in her head. As for Tom, the fact that he “had some woman in New York.” was really less surprising than that he had been depressed by a book. Something was making him nibble at the edge of stale ideas as if his sturdy physical egotism no longer nourished his peremptory heart.
    Already it was deep summer on roadhouse roofs and in front of wayside garages, where new red gas-pumps sat out in pools of light, and when I reached my estate at West Egg I ran the car under its shed and sat for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the yard. The wind had blown off, leaving a loud, bright night, with wings beating in the trees and a persistent organ sound as the full bellows of the earth blew the frogs full of life. The silhouette of a moving cat wavered across the moonlight, and turning my head to watch it, I saw that I was not alone-fifty feet away a figure had emerged from the shadow of my neighbor's mansion and was standing with his hands in his pockets regarding the silver pepper of the stars. Something in his leisurely movements and the secure position of his feet upon the lawn suggested that it was Mr. Gatsby himself, come out to determine what share was his of our local heavens.
    I decided to call to him. Miss Baker had mentioned him at dinner, and that would do for an introduction. But I didn't call to him, for he gave a sudden intimation that he was content to be alone-he stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and, far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward-and distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away, that might have been the end of a dock. When I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was alone again in the unquiet darkness.
    "Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don't tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist--I really believe he is Antichrist--I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my 'faithful slave,' as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you--sit down and tell me all the news."
    It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasili Kuragin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.
    All her invitations without exception, written in French, and delivered by a scarlet-liveried footman that morning, ran as follows:
    "If you have nothing better to do, Count [or Prince], and if the prospect of spending an evening with a poor invalid is not too terrible, I shall be very charmed to see you tonight between 7 and 10- Annette Scherer."
    "Heavens! what a virulent attack!" replied the prince, not in the least disconcerted by this reception. He had just entered, wearing an embroidered court uniform, knee breeches, and shoes, and had stars on his breast and a serene expression on his flat face. He spoke in that refined French in which our grandfathers not only spoke but thought, and with the gentle, patronizing intonation natural to a man of importance who had grown old in society and at court. He went up to Anna Pavlovna, kissed her hand, presenting to her his bald, scented, and shining head, and complacently seated himself on the sofa.
    "First of all, dear friend, tell me how you are. Set your friend's mind at rest," said he without altering his tone, beneath the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference and even irony could be discerned.
    "Can one be well while suffering morally? Can one be calm in times like these if one has any feeling?" said Anna Pavlovna. "You are staying the whole evening, I hope?"
    "And the fete at the English ambassador's? Today is Wednesday. I must put in an appearance there," said the prince. "My daughter is coming for me to take me there."
    "I thought today's fete had been canceled. I confess all these festivities and fireworks are becoming wearisome."
    "If they had known that you wished it, the entertainment would have been put off," said the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, by force of habit said things he did not even wish to be believed.
    "Don't tease! Well, and what has been decided about Novosiltsev's dispatch? You know everything."
    "What can one say about it?" replied the prince in a cold, listless tone. "What has been decided? They have decided that Buonaparte has burnt his boats, and I believe that we are ready to burn ours."
    Prince Vasili always spoke languidly, like an actor repeating a stale part. Anna Pavlovna Scherer on the contrary, despite her forty years, overflowed with animation and impulsiveness. To be an enthusiast had become her social vocation and, sometimes even when she did not feel like it, she became enthusiastic in order not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her. The subdued smile which, though it did not suit her faded features, always played round her lips expressed, as in a spoiled child, a continual consciousness of her charming defect, which she neither wished, nor could, nor considered it necessary, to correct.
    In the midst of a conversation on political matters Anna Pavlovna burst out:
    "Oh, don't speak to me of Austria. Perhaps I don't understand things, but Austria never has wished, and does not wish, for war. She is betraying us! Russia alone must save Europe. Our gracious sovereign recognizes his high vocation and will be true to it. That is the one thing I have faith in! Our good and wonderful sovereign has to perform the noblest role on earth, and he is so virtuous and noble that God will not forsake him. He will fulfill his vocation and crush the hydra of revolution, which has become more terrible than ever in the person of this murderer and villain! We alone must avenge the blood of the just one.... Whom, I ask you, can we rely on?... England with her commercial spirit will not and cannot understand the Emperor Alexander's loftiness of soul. She has refused to evacuate Malta. She wanted to find, and still seeks, some secret motive in our actions. What answer did Novosiltsev get? None. The English have not understood and cannot understand the self-abnegation of our Emperor who wants nothing for himself, but only desires the good of mankind. And what have they promised? Nothing! And what little they have promised they will not perform! Prussia has always declared that Buonaparte is invincible, and that all Europe is powerless before him.... And I don't believe a word that Hardenburg says, or Haugwitz either. This famous Prussian neutrality is just a trap. I have faith only in God and the lofty destiny of our adored monarch. He will save Europe!"
    She suddenly paused, smiling at her own impetuosity.
    "I think," said the prince with a smile, "that if you had been sent instead of our dear Wintzingerode you would have captured the King of Prussia's consent by assault. You are so eloquent. Will you give me a cup of tea?"
    "In a moment. A propos," she added, becoming calm again, "I am expecting two very interesting men tonight, le Vicomte de Mortemart, who is connected with the Montmorencys through the Rohans, one of the best French families. He is one of the genuine emigres, the good ones. And also the Abbe Morio. Do you know that profound thinker? He has been received by the Emperor. Had you heard?"
    "I shall be delighted to meet them," said the prince. "But tell me," he added with studied carelessness as if it had only just occurred to him, though the question he was about to ask was the chief motive of his visit, "is it true that the Dowager Empress wants Baron Funke to be appointed first secretary at Vienna? The baron by all accounts is a poor creature."
    Prince Vasili wished to obtain this post for his son, but others were trying through the Dowager Empress Marya Fedorovna to secure it for the baron.
    Anna Pavlovna almost closed her eyes to indicate that neither she nor anyone else had a right to criticize what the Empress desired or was pleased with.
    "Baron Funke has been recommended to the Dowager Empress by her sister," was all she said, in a dry and mournful tone.
    As she named the Empress, Anna Pavlovna's face suddenly assumed an expression of profound and sincere devotion and respect mingled with sadness, and this occurred every time she mentioned her illustrious patroness. She added that Her Majesty had deigned to show Baron Funke beaucoup d'estime, and again her face clouded over with sadness.
    The prince was silent and looked indifferent. But, with the womanly and courtierlike quickness and tact habitual to her, Anna Pavlovna wished both to rebuke him (for daring to speak he had done of a man recommended to the Empress) and at the same time to console him, so she said:
    "Now about your family. Do you know that since your daughter came out everyone has been enraptured by her? They say she is amazingly beautiful."
    The prince bowed to signify his respect and gratitude.
    "I often think," she continued after a short pause, drawing nearer to the prince and smiling amiably at him as if to show that political and social topics were ended and the time had come for intimate conversation--"I often think how unfairly sometimes the joys of life are distributed. Why has fate given you two such splendid children? I don't speak of Anatole, your youngest. I don't like him," she added in a tone admitting of no rejoinder and raising her eyebrows. "Two such charming children. And really you appreciate them less than anyone, and so you don't deserve to have them."
    And she smiled her ecstatic smile.
    "I can't help it," said the prince. "Lavater would have said I lack the bump of paternity."
    "Don't joke; I mean to have a serious talk with you. Do you know I am dissatisfied with your younger son? Between ourselves" (and her face assumed its melancholy expression), "he was mentioned at Her Majesty's and you were pitied...."
    The prince answered nothing, but she looked at him significantly, awaiting a reply. He frowned.
    "What would you have me do?" he said at last. "You know I did all a father could for their education, and they have both turned out fools. Hippolyte is at least a quiet fool, but Anatole is an active one. That is the only difference between them." He said this smiling in a way more natural and animated than usual, so that the wrinkles round his mouth very clearly revealed something unexpectedly coarse and unpleasant.
    "And why are children born to such men as you? If you were not a father there would be nothing I could reproach you with," said Anna Pavlovna, looking up pensively.
    "I am your faithful slave and to you alone I can confess that my children are the bane of my life. It is the cross I have to bear. That is how I explain it to myself. It can't be helped!"
    He said no more, but expressed his resignation to cruel fate by a gesture. Anna Pavlovna meditated.
    "Have you never thought of marrying your prodigal son Anatole?" she asked. "They say old maids have a mania for matchmaking, and though I don't feel that weakness in myself as yet, I know a little person who is very unhappy with her father. She is a relation of yours, Princess Mary Bolkonskaya."
    Prince Vasili did not reply, though, with the quickness of memory and perception befitting a man of the world, he indicated by a movement of the head that he was considering this information.
    "Do you know," he said at last, evidently unable to check the sad current of his thoughts, "that Anatole is costing me forty thousand rubles a year? And," he went on after a pause, "what will it be in five years, if he goes on like this?" Presently he added: "That's what we fathers have to put up with.... Is this princess of yours rich?"
    "Her father is very rich and stingy. He lives in the country. He is the well-known Prince Bolkonski who had to retire from the army under the late Emperor, and was nicknamed 'the King of Prussia.' He is very clever but eccentric, and a bore. The poor girl is very unhappy. She has a brother; I think you know him, he married Lise Meinen lately. He is an aide-de-camp of Kutuzov's and will be here tonight."
    "Listen, dear Annette," said the prince, suddenly taking Anna Pavlovna's hand and for some reason drawing it downwards. "Arrange that affair for me and I shall always be your most devoted slave- slafe with an f, as a village elder of mine writes in his reports. She is rich and of good family and that's all I want."
    And with the familiarity and easy grace peculiar to him, he raised the maid of honor's hand to his lips, kissed it, and swung it to and fro as he lay back in his armchair, looking in another direction.
    "Attendez," said Anna Pavlovna, reflecting, "I'll speak to Lise, young Bolkonski's wife, this very evening, and perhaps the thing can be arranged. It shall be on your family's behalf that I'll start my apprenticeship as old maid."
    Anna Pavlovna's drawing room was gradually filling. The highest Petersburg society was assembled there: people differing widely in age and character but alike in the social circle to which they belonged. Prince Vasili's daughter, the beautiful Helene, came to take her father to the ambassador's entertainment; she wore a ball dress and her badge as maid of honor. The youthful little Princess Bolkonskaya, known as la femme la plus seduisante de Petersbourg, was also there. She had been married during the previous winter, and being pregnant did not go to any large gatherings, but only to small receptions. Prince Vasili's son, Hippolyte, had come with Mortemart, whom he introduced. The Abbe Morio and many others had also come.
    To each new arrival Anna Pavlovna said, "You have not yet seen my aunt," or "You do not know my aunt?" and very gravely conducted him or her to a little old lady, wearing large bows of ribbon in her cap, who had come sailing in from another room as soon as the guests began to arrive; and slowly turning her eyes from the visitor to her aunt, Anna Pavlovna mentioned each one's name and then left them.
    Each visitor performed the ceremony of greeting this old aunt whom not one of them knew, not one of them wanted to know, and not one of them cared about; Anna Pavlovna observed these greetings with mournful and solemn interest and silent approval. The aunt spoke to each of them in the same words, about their health and her own, and the health of Her Majesty, "who, thank God, was better today." And each visitor, though politeness prevented his showing impatience, left the old woman with a sense of relief at having performed a vexatious duty and did not return to her the whole evening.
    The young Princess Bolkonskaya had brought some work in a gold-embroidered velvet bag. Her pretty little upper lip, on which a delicate dark down was just perceptible, was too short for her teeth, but it lifted all the more sweetly, and was especially charming when she occasionally drew it down to meet the lower lip. As is always the case with a thoroughly attractive woman, her defect--the shortness of her upper lip and her half-open mouth--seemed to be her own special and peculiar form of beauty. Everyone brightened at the sight of this pretty young woman, so soon to become a mother, so full of life and health, and carrying her burden so lightly. Old men and dull dispirited young ones who looked at her, after being in her company and talking to her a little while, felt as if they too were becoming, like her, full of life and health. All who talked to her, and at each word saw her bright smile and the constant gleam of her white teeth, thought that they were in a specially amiable mood that day.
    Meanwhile, Bob was walking down the streets of busytown, thinking about the smell of his soapy fingers after washing his ass in the shower.
    The little princess went round the table with quick, short, swaying steps, her workbag on her arm, and gaily spreading out her dress sat down on a sofa near the silver samovar, as if all she was doing was a pleasure to herself and to all around her. "I have brought my work," said she in French, displaying her bag and addressing all present. "Mind, Annette, I hope you have not played a wicked trick on me," she added, turning to her hostess. "You wrote that it was to be quite a small reception, and just see how badly I am dressed." And she spread out her arms to show her short-waisted, lace-trimmed, dainty gray dress, girdled with a broad ribbon just below the breast.
    "Soyez tranquille, Lise, you will always be prettier than anyone else," replied Anna Pavlovna.
    "You know," said the princess in the same tone of voice and still in French, turning to a general, "my husband is deserting me? He is going to get himself killed. Tell me what this wretched war is for?" she added, addressing Prince Vasili, and without waiting for an answer she turned to speak to his daughter, the beautiful Helene.
    "What a delightful woman this little princess is!" said Prince Vasili to Anna Pavlovna.
    One of the next arrivals was a stout, heavily built young man with close-cropped hair, spectacles, the light-colored breeches fashionable at that time, a very high ruffle, and a brown dress coat. This stout young man was an illegitimate son of Count Bezukhov, a well-known grandee of Catherine's time who now lay dying in Moscow. The young man had not yet entered either the military or civil service, as he had only just returned from abroad where he had been educated, and this was his first appearance in society. Anna Pavlovna greeted him with the nod she accorded to the lowest hierarchy in her drawing room. But in spite of this lowest-grade greeting, a look of anxiety and fear, as at the sight of something too large and unsuited to the place, came over her face when she saw Pierre enter. Though he was certainly rather bigger than the other men in the room, her anxiety could only have reference to the clever though shy, but observant and natural, expression which distinguished him from everyone else in that drawing room.
    "It is very good of you, Monsieur Pierre, to come and visit a poor invalid," said Anna Pavlovna, exchanging an alarmed glance with her aunt as she conducted him to her.
    Pierre murmured something unintelligible, and continued to look round as if in search of something. On his way to the aunt he bowed to the little princess with a pleased smile, as to an intimate acquaintance.
    Anna Pavlovna's alarm was justified, for Pierre turned away from the aunt without waiting to hear her speech about Her Majesty's health. Anna Pavlovna in dismay detained him with the words: "Do you know the Abbe Morio? He is a most interesting man."
    "Yes, I have heard of his scheme for perpetual peace, and it is very interesting but hardly feasible."
    "You think so?" rejoined Anna Pavlovna in order to say something and get away to attend to her duties as hostess. But Pierre now committed a reverse act of impoliteness. First he had left a lady before she had finished speaking to him, and now he continued to speak to another who wished to get away. With his head bent, and his big feet spread apart, he began explaining his reasons for thinking the abbe's plan chimerical.
    "We will talk of it later," said Anna Pavlovna with a smile.
    And having got rid of this young man who did not know how to behave, she resumed her duties as hostess and continued to listen and watch, ready to help at any point where the conversation might happen to flag. As the foreman of a spinning mill, when he has set the hands to work, goes round and notices here a spindle that has stopped or there one that creaks or makes more noise than it should, and hastens to check the machine or set it in proper motion, so Anna Pavlovna moved about her drawing room, approaching now a silent, now a too-noisy group, and by a word or slight rearrangement kept the conversational machine in steady, proper, and regular motion. But amid these cares her anxiety about Pierre was evident. She kept an anxious watch on him when he approached the group round Mortemart to listen to what was being said there, and again when he passed to another group whose center was the abbe.
    Pierre had been educated abroad, and this reception at Anna Pavlovna's was the first he had attended in Russia. He knew that all the intellectual lights of Petersburg were gathered there and, like a child in a toyshop, did not know which way to look, afraid of missing any clever conversation that was to be heard. Seeing the self-confident and refined expression on the faces of those present he was always expecting to hear something very profound. At last he came up to Morio. Here the conversation seemed interesting and he stood waiting for an opportunity to express his own views, as young people are fond of doing.
    Anna Pavlovna's reception was in full swing. The spindles hummed steadily and ceaselessly on all sides. With the exception of the aunt, beside whom sat only one elderly lady, who with her thin careworn face was rather out of place in this brilliant society, the whole company had settled into three groups. One, chiefly masculine, had formed round the abbe. Another, of young people, was grouped round the beautiful Princess Helene, Prince Vasili's daughter, and the little Princess Bolkonskaya, very pretty and rosy, though rather too plump for her age. The third group was gathered round Mortemart and Anna Pavlovna.
    The vicomte was a nice-looking young man with soft features and polished manners, who evidently considered himself a celebrity but out of politeness modestly placed himself at the disposal of the circle in which he found himself. Anna Pavlovna was obviously serving him up as a treat to her guests. As a clever maitre d'hotel serves up as a specially choice delicacy a piece of meat that no one who had seen it in the kitchen would have cared to eat, so Anna Pavlovna served up to her guests, first the vicomte and then the abbe, as peculiarly choice morsels. The group about Mortemart immediately began discussing the murder of the Duc d'Enghien. The vicomte said that the Duc d'Enghien had perished by his own magnanimity, and that there were particular reasons for Buonaparte's hatred of him.
    "Ah, yes! Do tell us all about it, Vicomte," said Anna Pavlovna, with a pleasant feeling that there was something a la Louis XV in the sound of that sentence: "Contez nous cela, Vicomte."
    The vicomte bowed and smiled courteously in token of his willingness to comply. Anna Pavlovna arranged a group round him, inviting everyone to listen to his tale.
    "The vicomte knew the duc personally," whispered Anna Pavlovna to of the guests. "The vicomte is a wonderful raconteur," said she to another. "How evidently he belongs to the best society," said she to a third; and the vicomte was served up to the company in the choicest and most advantageous style, like a well-garnished joint of roast beef on a hot dish.
    The vicomte wished to begin his story and gave a subtle smile.
    "Come over here, Helene, dear," said Anna Pavlovna to the beautiful young princess who was sitting some way off, the center of another group.
    The princess smiled. She rose with the same unchanging smile with which she had first entered the room--the smile of a perfectly beautiful woman. With a slight rustle of her white dress trimmed with moss and ivy, with a gleam of white shoulders, glossy hair, and sparkling diamonds, she passed between the men who made way for her, not looking at any of them but smiling on all, as if graciously allowing each the privilege of admiring her beautiful figure and shapely shoulders, back, and bosom--which in the fashion of those days were very much exposed--and she seemed to bring the glamour of a ballroom with her as she moved toward Anna Pavlovna. Helene was so lovely that not only did she not show any trace of coquetry, but on the contrary she even appeared shy of her unquestionable and all too victorious beauty. She seemed to wish, but to be unable, to diminish its effect.
    "How lovely!" said everyone who saw her; and the vicomte lifted his shoulders and dropped his eyes as if startled by something extraordinary when she took her seat opposite and beamed upon him also with her unchanging smile.
    "Madame, I doubt my ability before such an audience," said he, smilingly inclining his head.
    The princess rested her bare round arm on a little table and considered a reply unnecessary. She smilingly waited. All the time the story was being told she sat upright, glancing now at her beautiful round arm, altered in shape by its pressure on the table, now at her still more beautiful bosom, on which she readjusted a diamond necklace. From time to time she smoothed the folds of her dress, and whenever the story produced an effect she glanced at Anna Pavlovna, at once adopted just the expression she saw on the maid of honor's face, and again relapsed into her radiant smile.
    The little princess had also left the tea table and followed Helene.
    "Wait a moment, I'll get my work.... Now then, what are you thinking of?" she went on, turning to Prince Hippolyte. "Fetch me my workbag."
    There was a general movement as the princess, smiling and talking merrily to everyone at once, sat down and gaily arranged herself in her seat.
    "Now I am all right," she said, and asking the vicomte to begin, she took up her work.
    Prince Hippolyte, having brought the workbag, joined the circle and moving a chair close to hers seated himself beside her.
    Le charmant Hippolyte was surprising by his extraordinary resemblance to his beautiful sister, but yet more by the fact that in spite of this resemblance he was exceedingly ugly. His features were like his sister's, but while in her case everything was lit up by a joyous, self-satisfied, youthful, and constant smile of animation, and by the wonderful classic beauty of her figure, his face on the contrary was dulled by imbecility and a constant expression of sullen self-confidence, while his body was thin and weak. His eyes, nose, and mouth all seemed puckered into a vacant, wearied grimace, and his arms and legs always fell into unnatural positions.
    "It's not going to be a ghost story?" said he, sitting down beside the princess and hastily adjusting his lorgnette, as if without this instrument he could not begin to speak.
    "Why no, my dear fellow," said the astonished narrator, shrugging his shoulders.
    "Because I hate ghost stories," said Prince Hippolyte in a tone which showed that he only understood the meaning of his words after he had uttered them.
    He spoke with such self-confidence that his hearers could not be sure whether what he said was very witty or very stupid. He was dressed in a dark-green dress coat, knee breeches of the color of cuisse de nymphe effrayee, as he called it, shoes, and silk stockings.
    The vicomte told his tale very neatly. It was an anecdote, then current, to the effect that the Duc d'Enghien had gone secretly to Paris to visit Mademoiselle George; that at her house he came upon Bonaparte, who also enjoyed the famous actress' favors, and that in his presence Napoleon happened to fall into one of the fainting fits to which he was subject, and was thus at the duc's mercy. The latter spared him, and this magnanimity Bonaparte subsequently repaid by death.
    The story was very pretty and interesting, especially at the point where the rivals suddenly recognized one another; and the ladies looked agitated.
    "Charming!" said Anna Pavlovna with an inquiring glance at the little princess.
    "Charming!" whispered the little princess, sticking the needle into her work as if to testify that the interest and fascination of the story prevented her from going on with it.
    The vicomte appreciated this silent praise and smiling gratefully prepared to continue, but just then Anna Pavlovna, who had kept a watchful eye on the young man who so alarmed her, noticed that he was talking too loudly and vehemently with the abbe, so she hurried to the rescue. Pierre had managed to start a conversation with the abbe about the balance of power, and the latter, evidently interested by the young man's simple-minded eagerness, was explaining his pet theory. Both were talking and listening too eagerly and too naturally, which was why Anna Pavlovna disapproved.
    "The means are... the balance of power in Europe and the rights of the people," the abbe was saying. "It is only necessary for one powerful nation like Russia--barbaric as she is said to be--to place herself disinterestedly at the head of an alliance having for its object the maintenance of the balance of power of Europe, and it would save the world!"
    "But how are you to get that balance?" Pierre was beginning.
    At that moment Anna Pavlovna came up and, looking severely at Pierre, asked the Italian how he stood Russian climate. The Italian's face instantly changed and assumed an offensively affected, sugary expression, evidently habitual to him when conversing with women.
    "I am so enchanted by the brilliancy of the wit and culture of the society, more especially of the feminine society, in which I have had the honor of being received, that I have not yet had time to think of the climate," said he.
    Not letting the abbe and Pierre escape, Anna Pavlovna, the more conveniently to keep them under observation, brought them into the larger circle.
    Just then another visitor entered the drawing room: Prince Andrew Bolkonski, the little princess' husband. He was a very handsome young man, of medium height, with firm, clearcut features. Everything about him, from his weary, bored expression to his quiet, measured step, offered a most striking contrast to his quiet, little wife. It was evident that he not only knew everyone in the drawing room, but had found them to be so tiresome that it wearied him to look at or listen to them. And among all these faces that he found so tedious, none seemed to bore him so much as that of his pretty wife. He turned away from her with a grimace that distorted his handsome face, kissed Anna Pavlovna's hand, and screwing up his eyes scanned the whole company.
    "You are off to the war, Prince?" said Anna Pavlovna.
    "General Kutuzov," said Bolkonski, speaking French and stressing the last syllable of the general's name like a Frenchman, "has been pleased to take me as an aide-de-camp...."
    "And Lise, your wife?"
    "She will go to the country."
    "Are you not ashamed to deprive us of your charming wife?"
    "Andre," said his wife, addressing her husband in the same coquettish manner in which she spoke to other men, "the vicomte has been telling us such a tale about Mademoiselle George and Buonaparte!"
    Prince Andrew screwed up his eyes and turned away. Pierre, who from the moment Prince Andrew entered the room had watched him with glad, affectionate eyes, now came up and took his arm. Before he looked round Prince Andrew frowned again, expressing his annoyance with whoever was touching his arm, but when he saw Pierre's beaming face he gave him an unexpectedly kind and pleasant smile.
    "There now!... So you, too, are in the great world?" said he to Pierre.
    "I knew you would be here," replied Pierre. "I will come to supper with you. May I?" he added in a low voice so as not to disturb the vicomte who was continuing his story.
    "No, impossible!" said Prince Andrew, laughing and pressing Pierre's hand to show that there was no need to ask the question. He wished to say something more, but at that moment Prince Vasili and his daughter got up to go and the two young men rose to let them pass.
    "You must excuse me, dear Vicomte," said Prince Vasili to the Frenchman, holding him down by the sleeve in a friendly way to prevent his rising. "This unfortunate fete at the ambassador's deprives me of a pleasure, and obliges me to interrupt you. I am very sorry to leave your enchanting party," said he, turning to Anna Pavlovna.
    His daughter, Princess Helene, passed between the chairs, lightly holding up the folds of her dress, and the smile shone still more radiantly on her beautiful face. Pierre gazed at her with rapturous, almost frightened, eyes as she passed him.
    "Very lovely," said Prince Andrew.
    "Very," said Pierre.
    In passing Prince Vasili seized Pierre's hand and said to Anna Pavlovna: "Educate this bear for me! He has been staying with me a whole month and this is the first time I have seen him in society. Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the society of clever women."

    Anna Pavlovna smiled and promised to take Pierre in hand. She knew his father to be a connection of Prince Vasili's. The elderly lady who had been sitting with the old aunt rose hurriedly and overtook Prince Vasili in the anteroom. All the affectation of interest she had assumed had left her kindly and tearworn face and it now expressed only anxiety and fear.
    "How about my son Boris, Prince?" said she, hurrying after him into the anteroom. "I can't remain any longer in Petersburg. Tell me what news I may take back to my poor boy."
    Although Prince Vasili listened reluctantly and not very politely to the elderly lady, even betraying some impatience, she gave him an ingratiating and appealing smile, and took his hand that he might not go away.
    "What would it cost you to say a word to the Emperor, and then he would be transferred to the Guards at once?" said she.
    "Believe me, Princess, I am ready to do all I can," answered Prince Vasili, "but it is difficult for me to ask the Emperor. I should advise you to appeal to Rumyantsev through Prince Golitsyn. That would be the best way."
    The elderly lady was a Princess Drubetskaya, belonging to one of the best families in Russia, but she was poor, and having long been out of society had lost her former influential connections. She had now come to Petersburg to procure an appointment in the Guards for her only son. It was, in fact, solely to meet Prince Vasili that she had obtained an invitation to Anna Pavlovna's reception and had sat listening to the vicomte's story. Prince Vasili's words frightened her, an embittered look clouded her once handsome face, but only for a moment; then she smiled again and clutched Prince Vasili's arm more tightly.
    "Listen to me, Prince," said she. "I have never yet asked you for anything and I never will again, nor have I ever reminded you of my father's friendship for you; but now I entreat you for God's sake to do this for my son--and I shall always regard you as a benefactor," she added hurriedly. "No, don't be angry, but promise! I have asked Golitsyn and he has refused. Be the kindhearted man you always were," she said, trying to smile though tears were in her eyes.
    "Papa, we shall be late," said Princess Helene, turning her beautiful head and looking over her classically molded shoulder as she stood waiting by the door.
    Influence in society, however, is a capital which has to be economized if it is to last. Prince Vasili knew this, and having once realized that if he asked on behalf of all who begged of him, he would soon be unable to ask for himself, he became chary of using his influence. But in Princess Drubetskaya's case he felt, after her second appeal, something like qualms of conscience. She had reminded him of what was quite true; he had been indebted to her father for the first steps in his career. Moreover, he could see by her manners that she was one of those women--mostly mothers--who, having once made up their minds, will not rest until they have gained their end, and are prepared if necessary to go on insisting day after day and hour after hour, and even to make scenes. This last consideration moved him.
    "My dear Anna Mikhaylovna," said he with his usual familiarity and weariness of tone, "it is almost impossible for me to do what you ask; but to prove my devotion to you and how I respect your father's memory, I will do the impossible--your son shall be transferred to the Guards. Here is my hand on it. Are you satisfied?"
    "My dear benefactor! This is what I expected from you--I knew your kindness!" He turned to go.
    "Wait--just a word! When he has been transferred to the Guards..." she faltered. "You are on good terms with Michael Ilarionovich Kutuzov... recommend Boris to him as adjutant! Then I shall be at rest, and then..."
    Prince Vasili smiled.
    "No, I won't promise that. You don't know how Kutuzov is pestered since his appointment as Commander in Chief. He told me himself that all the Moscow ladies have conspired to give him all their sons as adjutants."
    "No, but do promise! I won't let you go! My dear benefactor..."
    "Papa," said his beautiful daughter in the same tone as before, "we shall be late."
    "Well, au revoir! Good-by! You hear her?"
    "Then tomorrow you will speak to the Emperor?"
    "Certainly; but about Kutuzov, I don't promise."
    "Do promise, do promise, Vasili!" cried Anna Mikhaylovna as he went, with the smile of a coquettish girl, which at one time probably came naturally to her, but was now very ill-suited to her careworn face.
    Apparently she had forgotten her age and by force of habit employed all the old feminine arts. But as soon as the prince had gone her face resumed its former cold, artificial expression. She returned to the group where the vicomte was still talking, and again pretended to listen, while waiting till it would be time to leave. Her task was accomplished.
    "And what do you think of this latest comedy, the coronation at Milan?" asked Anna Pavlovna, "and of the comedy of the people of Genoa and Lucca laying their petitions before Monsieur Buonaparte, and Monsieur Buonaparte sitting on a throne and granting the petitions of the nations? Adorable! It is enough to make one's head whirl! It is as if the whole world had gone crazy."
    Prince Andrew looked Anna Pavlovna straight in the face with a sarcastic smile.
    "'Dieu me la donne, gare a qui la touche!' They say he was very fine when he said that," he remarked, repeating the words in Italian: "'Dio mi l'ha dato. Guai a chi la tocchi!'"
    "I hope this will prove the last drop that will make the glass run over," Anna Pavlovna continued. "The sovereigns will not be able to endure this man who is a menace to everything."
    "The sovereigns? I do not speak of Russia," said the vicomte, polite but hopeless: "The sovereigns, madame... What have they done for Louis XVII, for the Queen, or for Madame Elizabeth? Nothing!" and he became more animated. "And believe me, they are reaping the reward of their betrayal of the Bourbon cause. The sovereigns! Why, they are sending ambassadors to compliment the usurper."
    And sighing disdainfully, he again changed his position.
    Prince Hippolyte, who had been gazing at the vicomte for some time through his lorgnette, suddenly turned completely round toward the little princess, and having asked for a needle began tracing the Conde coat of arms on the table. He explained this to her with as much gravity as if she had asked him to do it.
    "Baton de gueules, engrele de gueules d' azur--maison Conde," said he.
    The princess listened, smiling.
    "If Buonaparte remains on the throne of France a year longer," the vicomte continued, with the air of a man who, in a matter with which he is better acquainted than anyone else, does not listen to others but follows the current of his own thoughts, "things will have gone too far. By intrigues, violence, exile, and executions, French society--I mean good French society--will have been forever destroyed, and then..."
    He shrugged his shoulders and spread out his hands. Pierre wished to make a remark, for the conversation interested him, but Anna Pavlovna, who had him under observation, interrupted:
    "The Emperor Alexander," said she, with the melancholy which always accompanied any reference of hers to the Imperial family, "has declared that he will leave it to the French people themselves to choose their own form of government; and I believe that once free from the usurper, the whole nation will certainly throw itself into the arms of its rightful king," she concluded, trying to be amiable to the royalist emigrant.
    "That is doubtful," said Prince Andrew. "Monsieur le Vicomte quite rightly supposes that matters have already gone too far. I think it will be difficult to return to the old regime."
    "From what I have heard," said Pierre, blushing and breaking into the conversation, "almost all the aristocracy has already gone over to Bonaparte's side."
    "It is the Buonapartists who say that," replied the vicomte without looking at Pierre. "At the present time it is difficult to know the real state of French public opinion."
    "Bonaparte has said so," remarked Prince Andrew with a sarcastic smile.
    It was evident that he did not like the vicomte and was aiming his remarks at him, though without looking at him.
    "'I showed them the path to glory, but they did not follow it,'" Prince Andrew continued after a short silence, again quoting Napoleon's words. "'I opened my antechambers and they crowded in.' I do not know how far he was justified in saying so."
    "Not in the least," replied the vicomte. "After the murder of the duc even the most partial ceased to regard him as a hero. If to some people," he went on, turning to Anna Pavlovna, "he ever was a hero, after the murder of the duc there was one martyr more in heaven and one hero less on earth."
    Before Anna Pavlovna and the others had time to smile their appreciation of the vicomte's epigram, Pierre again broke into the conversation, and though Anna Pavlovna felt sure he would say something inappropriate, she was unable to stop him.
    "The execution of the Duc d'Enghien," declared Monsieur Pierre, "was a political necessity, and it seems to me that Napoleon showed greatness of soul by not fearing to take on himself the whole responsibility of that deed."
    "Dieu! Mon Dieu!" muttered Anna Pavlovna in a terrified whisper.
    "What, Monsieur Pierre... Do you consider that assassination shows greatness of soul?" said the little princess, smiling and drawing her work nearer to her.
    "Oh! Oh!" exclaimed several voices.
    "Capital!" said Prince Hippolyte in English, and began slapping his knee with the palm of his hand.
    The vicomte merely shrugged his shoulders. Pierre looked solemnly at his audience over his spectacles and continued.
    "I say so," he continued desperately, "because the Bourbons fled from the Revolution leaving the people to anarchy, and Napoleon alone understood the Revolution and quelled it, and so for the general good, he could not stop short for the sake of one man's life."
    "Won't you come over to the other table?" suggested Anna Pavlovna.
    But Pierre continued his speech without heeding her.
    "No," cried he, becoming more and more eager, "Napoleon is great because he rose superior to the Revolution, suppressed its abuses, preserved all that was good in it--equality of citizenship and freedom of speech and of the press--and only for that reason did he obtain power."
    "Yes, if having obtained power, without availing himself of it to commit murder he had restored it to the rightful king, I should have called him a great man," remarked the vicomte.
    "He could not do that. The people only gave him power that he might rid them of the Bourbons and because they saw that he was a great man. The Revolution was a grand thing!" continued Monsieur Pierre, betraying by this desperate and provocative proposition his extreme youth and his wish to express all that was in his mind.
    "What? Revolution and regicide a grand thing?... Well, after that... But won't you come to this other table?" repeated Anna Pavlovna.
    "Rousseau's Contrat social," said the vicomte with a tolerant smile.
    "I am not speaking of regicide, I am speaking about ideas."
    "Yes: ideas of robbery, murder, and regicide," again interjected an ironical voice.
    "Those were extremes, no doubt, but they are not what is most important. What is important are the rights of man, emancipation from prejudices, and equality of citizenship, and all these ideas Napoleon has retained in full force."
    "Liberty and equality," said the vicomte contemptuously, as if at last deciding seriously to prove to this youth how foolish his words were, "high-sounding words which have long been discredited. Who does not love liberty and equality? Even our Saviour preached liberty and equality. Have people since the Revolution become happier? On the contrary. We wanted liberty, but Buonaparte has destroyed it."
    Prince Andrew kept looking with an amused smile from Pierre to the vicomte and from the vicomte to their hostess. In the first moment of Pierre's outburst Anna Pavlovna, despite her social experience, was horror-struck. But when she saw that Pierre's sacrilegious words had not exasperated the vicomte, and had convinced herself that it was impossible to stop him, she rallied her forces and joined the vicomte in a vigorous attack on the orator.
    "But, my dear Monsieur Pierre," said she, "how do you explain the fact of a great man executing a duc--or even an ordinary man who--is innocent and untried?"
    "I should like," said the vicomte, "to ask how monsieur explains the 18th Brumaire; was not that an imposture? It was a swindle, and not at all like the conduct of a great man!"
    "And the prisoners he killed in Africa? That was horrible!" said the little princess, shrugging her shoulders.
    "He's a low fellow, say what you will," remarked Prince Hippolyte.
    Pierre, not knowing whom to answer, looked at them all and smiled. His smile was unlike the half-smile of other people. When he smiled, his grave, even rather gloomy, look was instantaneously replaced by another--a childlike, kindly, even rather silly look, which seemed to ask forgiveness.
    The vicomte who was meeting him for the first time saw clearly that this young Jacobin was not so terrible as his words suggested. All were silent.
    "How do you expect him to answer you all at once?" said Prince Andrew. "Besides, in the actions of a statesman one has to distinguish between his acts as a private person, as a general, and as an emperor. So it seems to me."
    "Yes, yes, of course!" Pierre chimed in, pleased at the arrival of this reinforcement.
    "One must admit," continued Prince Andrew, "that Napoleon as a man was great on the bridge of Arcola, and in the hospital at Jaffa where he gave his hand to the plague-stricken; but... but there are other acts which it is difficult to justify."
    Prince Andrew, who had evidently wished to tone down the awkwardness of Pierre's remarks, rose and made a sign to his wife that it was time to go.

    Suddenly Prince Hippolyte started up making signs to everyone to attend, and asking them all to be seated began:
    "I was told a charming Moscow story today and must treat you to it. Excuse me, Vicomte--I must tell it in Russian or the point will be lost...." And Prince Hippolyte began to tell his story in such Russian as a Frenchman would speak after spending about a year in Russia. Everyone waited, so emphatically and eagerly did he demand their attention to his story.
    "There is in Moscow a lady, une dame, and she is very stingy. She must have two footmen behind her carriage, and very big ones. That was her taste. And she had a lady's maid, also big. She said..."
    Here Prince Hippolyte paused, evidently collecting his ideas with difficulty.
    "She said... Oh yes! She said, 'Girl,' to the maid, 'put on a livery, get up behind the carriage, and come with me while I make some calls.'"
    Here Prince Hippolyte spluttered and burst out laughing long before his audience, which produced an effect unfavorable to the narrator. Several persons, among them the elderly lady and Anna Pavlovna, did however smile.
    "She went. Suddenly there was a great wind. The girl lost her hat and her long hair came down...." Here he could contain himself no longer and went on, between gasps of laughter: "And the whole world knew...."
    And so the anecdote ended. Though it was unintelligible why he had told it, or why it had to be told in Russian, still Anna Pavlovna and the others appreciated Prince Hippolyte's social tact in so agreeably ending Pierre's unpleasant and unamiable outburst. After the anecdote the conversation broke up into insignificant small talk about the last and next balls, about theatricals, and who would meet whom, and when and where.
    Fifty-one hours. He knew just how long because of the pen, the Flair Fine-Liner he had been carrying in his pocket at the time of the crash. He had been able to reach down and snag it. Every time the clock chimed he made a mark on his arm - four vertical marks and then a diagonal slash to seal the quintet. When she came back there were ten groups of five and one extra. The little groups, neat at first, grew increasingly jagged as his hands began to tremble. He didn't believe he had missed a single hour. He had dozed, but never really slept. The chiming of the clock woke him each time the hour came around. After awhile he began to feel hunger and thirst - even through the pain. It became something like a horse race. At first King of Pain was far in the lead and I Got the Hungries was some twelve furlongs back. Pretty Thirsty was nearly lost in the dust. Then, around sun-up on the day after she had left, I Got the Hungries actually gave King of Pain a brief run for his money. He had spent much of the night alternately dozing and waking in a cold sweat, sure he was dying. After awhile he began to hope he was dying. Anything to be out of it. He'd never had any idea how bad hurting could get. The pilings grew and grew. He could see the barnacles which encrusted them, could see pale drowned things lying limply in the clefts of the wood. They were the lucky things. For them the hurting was over. Around three he had lapsed into a bout of useless screaming. By noon of the second day - Hour Twenty-Four - he realize that, as bad as the pain in his legs and pelvis was, something else was also making him hurt. It was withdrawal. Call this horse Junkie's Revenge, if you wanted. He needed the capsules in more ways than one. He thought of trying to get out of bed, but the thought of the thump and the drop and the accompanying escalation of pain constantly deterred him. He could imagine all too well ("So vivid!") how it would feel. He might have tried anyway, but she had locked the door. What could he do besides crawl across to it, snail-like, and lie there? In desperation he pushed back the blankets with his hands for the first time, hoping against hope that it wasn't as bad as the shapes the blankets made seemed to suggest it was. It wasn't as bad; it was worse. He stared with horror at what he had become below the knees. In his mind he heard the voice of Ronald Reagan in King's Raw, shrieking "Where's the rest of me?" The rest of him was here, and he might get out of this; the prospects for doing so seemed ever more remote, but he supposed it was technically possible . . . but he might well never walk again - and surely not until each of his legs had been rebroken, perhaps in several places, and pinned with steel, and mercilessly overhauled, and subjected to half a hundred shriekingly painful indignities. She had splinted them - of course he had known that, felt the rigid ungiving shapes, but until now he had not known what she had done it with. The lower parts of both legs were circled with slim steel rods that looked like the hacksawed remains of aluminum crutches. The rods had been strenuously taped, so that from the knees down he looked a bit like Im-Ho-Tep when he had been discovered in his tomb. The legs themselves meandered strangely up to his knees, turning outward here, jagging inward there. His left knee a throbbing focus of pain - no longer seemed to exist at all. There was a calf, and a thigh, and then a sickening bunch in the middle that looked like a salt-dome. His upper legs were badly swollen and seemed to have bowed slightly outward. His thighs, crotch, even his penis, were all still mottled with fading bruises. He had thought his lower legs might be shattered. That was not so, as it turned out. They had been pulverized. Moaning, crying, he pulled the blankets back up. No rolling out of bed. Better to lie here, die here, better to accept this level of pain, terrific as it was, until all pain was gone. Around four o'clock of the second day, Pretty Thirsty made its move. He had been aware of dryness in his mouth and throat for a long time, but now it began to seem more urgent. His tongue felt thick, too large. Swallowing hurt. He began to think of the pitcher of water she had dashed away. He dozed, woke, dozed. Day passed away" Night fell. He had to urinate. He laid the top sheet over his penis, hoping to create a crude filter, and urinated through it into his cupped and shaking hands. He tried to think of it as recycling and drank what he had managed to hold and then ticked his wet palms. Here was something else he reckoned he would not tell people about, if he lived long enough to tell them anything. He began to believe she was dead. She was deeply unstable, and unstable people frequently took their own lives. He saw her ("So vivid") pulling over to the side of the road in Old Bessie, taking a .44 from under the seat, putting it in her mouth, and shooting herself. "With Misery dead I don't want to live. Goodbye, cruel world!" Annie cried through a rain of tears, and pulled the trigger. He cackled, then moaned, then screamed. The wind screamed with him . . . but took no other notice. Or an accident? Was that possible? Oh, yes, sir! He saw her driving grimly, going too fast, and then ("He doesn't get it from MY side of the family!") going blank and driving right off the side of the road. Down and down and down. Hitting once and bursting into a fireball, dying without even knowing it. If she was dead he would die in here, a rat in a dry trap. He kept thinking unconsciousness would come and relieve him, but unconsciousness declined; instead Hour Thirty came, and Hour Forty; now King of Pain and Pretty Thirsty merged into one single horse (I Got the Hungries had been left in the dust long since) and he began to feel like nothing more than a slice of living tissue on a microscope slide or a worm on a hook - something, anyway, twisting endlessly and waiting only to die.
    When she came in he thought at first that she must be a dream, but then reality - or mere brute survival - took over and he began to moan and beg and plead, all of it broken, all of it coming from a deepening well of unreality. The one thing he saw clearly was that she was wearing a dark-blue dress and a sprigged hat - it was exactly the sort of outfit he had imagined her wearing on the stand in Denver. Her color was high and her eyes sparkled with life and vivacity. She was as close to pretty as Annie Wilkes ever could be, and when he tried to remember that scene later the only clear images he could fix upon were her flushed cheeks and the sprigged hat. From some final stronghold of sanity and evaluative clarity the rational Paul Sheldon had thought: She looks like a widow who just got fucked after a ten-year dry spell. In her hand she held a glass of water - a tall glass of water. "Take this," she said, and put a hand still cool from the out-of-doors on the back of his neck so he could sit up enough to drink without choking. He took three fast mouthfuls, the pores on the and plain of his tongue widening and clamoring at the shock of the water, some of it spilling down his chin and onto the tee-shirt he wore, and then she drew it away from him. He mewled for it, holding his shaking hands out. "No," she said. "No, Paul. A little at a time, or you'll vomit." After a bit she gave it back to him and allowed two more swallows. "The stuff," he said, coughing. He sucked at his lips and ran his tongue over them and then sucked his tongue. He could vaguely remember drinking his own piss, how hot it had been, how salty. "The capsules - pain - please, Annie, please, for God's sake please help me the pain is so bad - " "I know it is, but you must listen to me," she said, looking at him with that stern yet maternal expression. "I had to get away and think. I have thought deeply, and I hope I've thought well. I was not entirely sure; my thoughts are often muddy, I know that. I accept that. It's why I couldn't remember where I was all those times they kept asking me about. So I prayed. There is a God, you know, and He answers prayers. He always does. So I prayed. I said, "Dear God, Paul Sheldon may be dead when I get back." But God said, "He will not be. I have spared him, so you may shew him the way he must go."" She said shew as shoe, but Paul was barely hearing her anyway; his eyes were fixed on the glass of water. She gave him another three swallows. He slurped like a horse, burped, then cried out as shudder-cramps coursed through him. During all of this she looked at him benignly. "I will give you your medication and relieve your pain, she said, "but first you have a job to do. I'll be right back." She got up and headed for the door. "No!" he screamed. She took no notice at all. He lay in bed, cocooned in pain, trying not to moan and moaning anyway.
    "No," he said, crying and shaking. One thought worked at him, burned in him like acid: for less than a hundred bucks he could have had the manuscript photocopied in Boulder. People - Bryce, both of his ex-wives, hell, even his mother - had always told him he was crazy not to make at least one copy of his work and put it aside; after all, the Boulderado could catch on fire, or the New York townhouse; there might be a tornado or a flood or some other natural disaster. He had constantly refused, for no rational reason: it was just that making copies seemed a jinx thing to do. Well, here was the jinx and the natural disaster all rolled up m one; here was Hurricane Annie. In her innocence it had apparently never even crossed her mind that there might be another copy of Fast Cars someplace, and if he had just listened, if he had just invested the lousy hundred dollars - "Yes," she replied, holding out the matches to him. The manuscript, clean white Hammermill Bond with the title page topmost, lay on her lap. Her face was still clear and calm. "No," he said, turning his burning face away from her. "Yes. It's filthy. That aside, it's also no good." "You wouldn't know good if it walked up and bit your nose off!" he yelled, not caring. She laughed gently. Her temper had apparently gone on vacation. But, Paul thought, knowing Annie Wilkes, it could arrive back unexpectedly at any moment, bags in hand: Couldn't stand to stay away! How ya doin? "First of all," she said, "good would not bite my nose off. Evil might, but not good. Second of all, I do know good when I see it - you are good, Paul. All you need is a little help. Now, take the matches." He shook his head stiffly back and forth. "No." "Yes." "No!" "Yes." "No goddammit!" "Use all the profanity you want. I've heard it all before." "I won't do it." He closed his eyes. When he opened them she was holding out a cardboards square with the word NOVRIL printed across the top in bright blue letters. SAMPLE, the red letters just below the trade name read NOT TO BE DISPENSED WITHOUT PHYSICIAN'S PRESCRIPTION. Below the warning were four capsules in blister-packs. He grabbed. She pulled the cardboard out of his reach. "When you burn it," she said. "Then I'll give you the capsules - all four of these, I think - and the pain will go away. You will begin to feel serene again, and when you've got hold of yourself, I will change your bedding - I see you've wet it, and it must be uncomfortable - and I'll also change you. By then you will be hungry and I can give you some soup. Perhaps some unbuttered toast. But until you burn it, Paul, I can do nothing. I'm sorry." His tongue wanted to say Yes! Yes, okay! and so he bit it. He rolled away from her again - away from the enticing, maddening cardboard square, the white capsules in their lozenge-shaped transparent blisters. "You're the devil," he said. Again he expected rage and got the indulgent laugh, with its undertones of knowing sadness. "Oh yes! Yes! That's what a child thinks when mommy comes into the kitchen and sees him playing with the cleaning fluid from under the sink. He doesn't say it that way, of course, because he doesn't have your education. He just says, "Mommy, you're mean!"" Her hand brushed his hair away from his hot brow. The fingers trailed down his cheek, across the side of his neck, and then squeezed his shoulder briefly, with compassion, before drawing away. "The mother feels badly when her child says she's mean or if he cries for what's been taken away, as you are crying now. But she knows she's right, and so she does her duty. As I am doing mine." Three quick dull thumps as Annie dropped her knuckles on the manuscript - 190,000 words and five lives that a well and pain-free Paul Sheldon had cared deeply about, 190,000 words and five lives that he was finding more dispensable as each moment passed. The pills. The pills. He had to have the goddam pills. The lives were shadows. The pills were not. They were real. "Paul?" "No!" he sobbed. The faint rattle of the capsules in their blisters - silence then the woody shuffle of the matches in their box. "Paul?" "No!" "I'm waiting, Paul." Oh why in Christ's name are you doing this asshole Horatio-at-the-bridge act and who in Christ's name are you trying to impress? Do you think this is a movie or a TV show and you are getting graded by some audience on your bravery? You can do what she wants or you can hold out. If you hold out you'll die and then she'll burn the manuscript anyway. So what are you going to do, lie here and suffer for a book that would sell half as many copies as the least successful Misery book you ever wrote, and which Peter Prescott would shit upon in his finest genteel disparaging manner when he reviewed it for that great literary oracle, Newsweek? Come on, come on, wise up! Even Galileo recanted when he saw they really meant to go through with it! "Paul? I'm waiting. I can wait all day. Although I rather suspect that you may go into a coma before too long; I believe you are in a near-comatose state now, and I have had a lot of . . . " Her voice droned away. Yes! Give me the matches! Give me a blowtorch! Give me a Baby Huey and a load of napalm! I'll drop a tactical nuke on it if that's what you want, you fucking beldame! So spoke the opportunist, the survivor. Yet another part, failing now, near-comatose itself, went wailing off into the darkness: A hundred and ninety thousand words! Five lives! Two years" work! And what was the real bottom line: The truth! What you knew about THE FUCKING TRUTH! There was the creak of bedsprings as she stood up. "Well! You are a very stubborn little boy, I must say, and I can't sit by your bed all night, as much as I might like to! After all, I've been driving for nearly an hour, hurrying to get back here. I'll drop by in a bit and see if you've changed y - " "You burn it, then!" he yelled at her. She turned and looked at him. "No," she said, "I cannot do that, as much as I would like to and spare you the agony you feel." "Why not?" "Because," she said primly, "you must do it of your own free will." He began to laugh then, and her face darkened for the first time since she had come back, and she left the room with the manuscript under her arm.
    When she came back an hour later he took the matches. She laid the title page on the grill. He tried to light one of the Blue Tips and couldn't because it kept missing the rough strip or falling out of his hand. So Annie took the box and lit the match and put the lit match in his hand and he touched it to the comer of the paper and then let the match fall into the pot and watched, fascinated, as the flame tasted, then gulped. She had a barbecue fork with her this time, and when the page began to curl up, she poked it through the gaps in the grill. "This is going to take forever," he said. "I can't - " "No, we'll make quick work of it," she said. "But you must bum a few of the single pages, Paul - as a symbol of your understanding." She now laid the first page of Fast Cars on the grill, words he remembered writing some twenty-four months ago, in the New York townhouse: "'I don't have no wheels," Tony Bonasaro said, walking up to the girt coming down the steps, "and I am a slow learner, but I am a fast driver."" Oh it brought that day back like the right Golden Oldie on the radio. He remembered walking around the apartment from room to room, big with book, more than big, gravid, and here were the labor pains. He remembered finding one of Joan's bras under a sofa cushion earlier in the day, and she had been gone a full three months, showed you what kind of a job the cleaning service did; he remembered hearing New York traffic, and, faintly, the monotonous tolling of a church bell calling the faithful to mass. He remembered sitting down. As always, the blessed relief of starting, a feeling that was like falling into a hole filled with bright light. As always, the glum knowledge that he would not write as well as he wanted to write. As always, the terror of not being able to finish, of accelerating into a blank wall. As always, the marvellous joyful nervy feeling of journey begun. He looked at Annie Wilkes and said, clearly but not loud: "Annie, please don't make me do this." She held the matches immovably before him and said: "You can do as you choose." So he burned his book.
    She made him bum the first page, the last page, and nine pairs of pages from various points in the manuscript because nine, she said, was a number of power, and nine doubled was lucky. He saw that she had used a magic marker to black out the profanities, at least as far as she had read. "Now," she said, when the ninth pair was burned. "You've been a good boy and a real sport and I know this hurts you almost as badly as your legs do and I won't draw it out any longer." She removed the grill and set the rest of the manuscript into the pot, crunching down the crispy black curls of the pages he had already burned. The room stank of matches and burned paper. Smells like the devil's cloakroom, he though deliriously, and if there had been anything in the wrinkle. walnut-shell that had once been his stomach, he supposed he would have vomited it up. She lit another match and put it in his hand. Somehow he was able to lean over and drop the match into the pot. I didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter. She was nudging him. Wearily, he opened his eyes. "It went out." She scratched another match and put it in his hand. So he somehow managed to lean over again, awakening rusty handsaws in his legs as he did so, and touched the match to the corner of the pile of manuscript. This time the flame spread instead of shrinking and dying around the stick. He leaned back, eyes shut, listening to the crackling sound, feeling the dull, baking heat. "Goodness!" she cried, alarmed. He opened his eyes and saw that charred bits of paper were wafting up from the barbecue on the heated air. Annie lumbered from the room. He heard water from the tub taps thud into the floorpail. He idly watched a dark piece of manuscript float across the room and land on or of the gauzy curtains. There was a brief spark - he had time to wonder if perhaps the room was going to catch on fire - that winked once and then went out, leaving a tiny hole like a cigarette burn. Ash sifted down on the bed. Some landed on his arms. He didn't really care, one way or the other. Annie came back, eyes trying to dart everywhere at once trying to trace the course of each carbonized page as it rose and seesawed. Flames flipped and flickered over the edge the pot. "Goodness!" she said again, holding the bucket of water and looking around, trying to decide where to throw it or it needed to be thrown at all. Her lips were trembling and wet with spit. As Paul watched, her tongue darted out and slicked them afresh. "Goodness! Goodness!" It seemed to be all she could say. Even caught in the squeezing vise of his pain, Paul felt an instant of intense pleasure - this was what Annie Wilkes looked like when she was frightened. It was a look he could come to love. Another page wafted up, this one still running with little tendrils of low blue fire, and that decided her. With another "Goodness!" she carefully poured the bucket of water into the barbecue pot. There was a monstrous hissing and a plume of steam. The smell was wet and awful, charred and yet somehow creamy. When she left he managed to get up on his elbow one final time. He looked into the barbecue pot and saw something that looked like a charred lump of log floating in a brackish pond. After awhile, Annie Wilkes came back. Incredibly, she was humming. She sat him up and pushed capsules into his mouth. He swallowed them and lay back, thinking: I'm going to kill her.
    "Eat," she said from far away, and he felt stinging pain. He opened his eyes and saw her sitting beside him - for the first time he was actually on a level with her, facing her. He realized with bleary, distant surprise that for the first time in untold eons he was sitting, too . . . actually sitting up. Who gives a shit? he thought, and let his eyes slip shut again. The tide was in. The pilings were covered. The tide had finally come in and the next time it went out it might go out forever and so he was going to ride the waves while there were waves left to ride, he could think about sitting up later . . . "Eat!" she said again, and this was followed by a recurrence of pain. It buzzed against the left side of his head, making him whine and try to pull away. "Eat, Paul! You've got to come out of it enough to eat or . . . " Zzzzzing! His earlobe. She was pinching it. "Kay," he muttered. "Kay! Don't yank it off, for God's sake." He forced his eyes open, Each lid felt as if it had a cement block dangling from it. Immediately the spoon was in his mouth, dumping hot soup down his throat. He swallowed to keep from drowning. Suddenly, out of nowhere - the most amazing comeback this announcer has ever seen, ladies and gentlemen! - I Got the Hungries came bursting into view. It was as if that first spoonful of soup had awakened his gut from a hypnotic trance. He took the rest as fast as she could spoon it into his mouth, seeming to grow more rather than less hungry as he slurped and swallowed. He had a vague memory of her wheeling out the sinister, smoking barbecue and then wheeling in something which, in his drugged and fading state, he had thought might be a shopping cart. The idea had caused him to feel neither surprise nor wonder; he was visiting with Annie Wilkes, after all. Barbecues, shopping carts; maybe tomorrow a parking meter or a nuclear warhead. When you lived in the funhouse, the laff riot just never stopped. He had drifted off, but now he realized that the shopping cart had been a folded-up wheelchair. He was sitting in it, his sprinted legs stuck stiffly out in front of him, his pelvic area feeling uncomfortably swollen and not very happy with the new position. She put me in it while I was conked out, he thought. Lifted me. Dead weight. Christ she must be strong. "Finished!" she said. "I'm pleased to see how well you took that soup, Paul. I believe you are going to mend. We will not say "Good as new" - alas, no - but if we don't have any more of these . . . these contretemps . . . I believe you'll mend just fine. Now I'm going to change your nasty old bed, and when that's done I'm going to change nasty old you, and then, if you're not having too much pain and still feel hungry, I am going to let you have some toast." "Thank you, Annie," he said humbly, and thought: Your throat. If I can, I'll give you a chance to lick your lips and say "Goodness!" But only once, Annie. Only once.
    Four hours later he was back in bed and he would have burned all his books for even a single Novril. Sitting hadn't bothered him a bit while he was doing it - not with enough shit in his bloodstream to have put half the Prussian Army to steep - but now it felt as if a swarm of bees had been loosed in the lower half of his body. He screamed very loudly - the food must have done something for him, because he could not remember being able to scream so loudly since he had emerged from the dark cloud. He sensed her standing just outside the bedroom door in the hallway for a long time before she actually came in, immobile, turned off, unplugged, gazing blankly at no more than the doorknob or perhaps the pattern of lines on her own hands. "Here." She gave him his medication - two capsules this time. He swallowed them, holding her wrist to steady the glass. "I bought you two presents in town," she said, getting up. "Did you?" he croaked. She pointed at the wheelchair which brooded in the corner with its steel leg-rests stuck stiffly out. "I'll show you the other one tomorrow. Now get some sleep, Paul."
    But for a long time no sleep came. He floated on the dope and thought about the situation he was in. It seemed a little easier now. It was easier to think about than the book which he had created and then uncreated. Things . . . isolated things like pieces of cloth which may be pieced together to make a quilt. They were miles from the neighbors who, Annie said, didn't like her. What was the name? Boynton. No, Roydman. That was it. Roydman. And how far from town? Not too far, surely. He was in a circle whose diameter might be as small as fifteen miles, or as large as forty-five. Annie Wilkes's house was in that circle, and the Roydmans", and downtown Sidewinder, however pitifully small that might be. . . . And my car. My Camaro's somewhere in that circle, too. Did the police find it? He thought not. He was a well-known person; if a car had been found with tags registered in his name, a little elementary checking would have shown he had been in Boulder and had then dropped out of sight. The discovery of his wrecked and empty car would have prompted a search, stories on the news . . . She never watches the news on IV, never listens to the radio at all - unless she's got one with an earplug, or phones. It was all a little like the dog in the Sherlock Holmes story - the one that didn't bark. His car hadn't been found because the cops hadn't come. If it had been found, they would have checked everyone in his hypothetical circle, wouldn't they?
    And just how many people could there be in such a circle, here close to the top of the Western Slope? The Roydmans, Annie Wilkes, maybe ten or twelve others? And just because it hadn't been found so far didn't mean it wouldn't be found. His vivid imagination (which he had not gotten from anyone on his mother's side of the family) now took over. The cop was tall, handsome in a cold way, his sideburns perhaps a bit longer than regulation. He was wearing dark sunglasses in which the person being questioned would see his own face in duplicate. His voice had a flat Midwestern twang. We've found an overturned car halfway down Humbuggy Mountain which belongs to a famous writer named Paul Sheldon. There's some blood on the seats and the dashboard, but no sign of him. Must have crawled out, may even have wandered away in a daze - That was a laugh, considering the state of his legs, but of course they would not know what injuries he might have sustained. They would only assume that, if he was not here, he must have been strong enough to get at least a little way. The course of their deductions was not apt to lead to such an unlikely possibility as kidnapping, at least not at first, and probably never. Do you remember seeing anyone on the road the day of the storm? Tall man, forty-two years old, sandy hair? Probably wearing blue jeans and a checked flannel shirt and a parka? Might have looked sort of bunged up? Hell, might not even have known who he was? Annie would give the cop coffee in the kitchen; Annie would be mindful that all the doors between there and the spare bedroom should be closed. In case he should groan. Why, no, officer - I didn't see a soul. In fact, I came back from town just as quick as I could chase when Tony Roberts told me that bad old storm wasn't turning south after all. The cop, setting down the coffee cup and getting up: Well, if you should see anyone fitting the description, ma'am, I hope you'll get in touch with us just as fast as you can. He's quite a famous Person. Been in People magazine. Some other ones, too. I certainly will, officer! And away he would go. Maybe something like that had already happened and he just didn't know about it. Maybe his imaginary cop's actual counterpart or counterparts had visited Annie while he was doped out. God knew he spent enough time doped out. More thought convinced him it was unlikely. He wasn't Joe Blow from Kokomo, just some transient blowing through. He had been in People (first best-seller) and Us (first divorce); there had been a question about him one Sunday in Walter Scott's Personality Parade. There would have been rechecks, maybe by phone, probably by the cops themselves. When a celebrity - even a quasi-celebrity like a writer disappeared, the heat came on. You're only guessing, man. Maybe guessing, maybe deducing. Either way it was better than just lying here and doing nothing. What about guardrails? He tried to remember and couldn't. He could only remember reaching for his cigarettes, then the amazing way the ground and the sky had switched places, then darkness. But again, deduction (or educated guesswork, if you wanted to be snotty) made it easier to believe there had been none. Smashed guardrails and snapped guywires would have alerted roadcrews. So what exactly had happened? He had lost control at a place where there wasn't much of a drop, that was what - just enough grade to allow the car to flip over in space. If the drop had been steeper, there would have been guardrails. If the drop had been steeper, Annie Wilkes would have found it difficult or impossible to get to him, let alone drag him back to the road by herself. So where was his car? Buried in the snow, of course. Paul put his arm over his eyes and saw a town plow coming up the road where he has crashed only two hours earlier. The plow is a dim orange blob in the driving snow near the end of this day. The man driving is bundled to the eyes; on his head he wears an old-fashioned trainman's cap of blue-and-white pillowtick. To his right, at the bottom of a shallow slope which will, not far from here, deepen into a more typical upcountry gorge, lies Paul Sheldon's Camaro, with the faded blue HART FOR PRESIDENT sticker on the rear bumper just about the brightest thing down there. The guy driving the plow doesn't see the car; bumper sticker is too faded to catch his eye. The wing-plows block most of his side-vision, and besides, it's almost dark and he's beat. He just wants to finish this last run so he can turn the plow over to his relief and get a hot cup of joe. He sweeps past, the plow spurning cloudy snow into the gully. The Camaro, already drifted to the windows, is now buried to the roof-line. Later, in the deepest part of a stormy twilight when even the things directly in front of you look unreal, the second-shift man drives by, headed in the opposite direction, and entombs it. Paul opened his eyes and looked at the plaster ceiling. There was a fine series of hairline cracks up there that seemed to make a trio of interlocked W's. He had become very familiar with them over the endless run of days he had lain here since coming out of the cloud, and now he traced them again, idly thinking of w words such as wicked and wretched and witchlike and wriggling. Yes. Could have been that way. Could have been. Had she thought of what might happen when his car was found? She might have. She was nuts, but being nuts didn't make her stupid. Yet it had never crossed her mind that he might have a duplicate of Fast Cars. Yeah. And she was right. The bitch was right. I didn't. Images of the blackened pages floating up, the flames, the sounds, the smell of the uncreation - he gritted his teeth against the images and tried to shut his mind away from them; vivid was not always good. No, you didn't, but nine out of ten writers would have - at least they would if they were getting paid as much as you have been for even the non-Misery books. She never even thought of it. She's not a writer. Neither is she stupid, as I think we have both agreed. I think that she is filled with herself - she does not just have a large ego but one which is positively grandiose. Burning it seemed to her the proper thing to do, and the idea that her concept of the proper thing to do might be short-circuited by something so piddling as a bank Xerox machine and a couple of rolls of quarters . . . that blip just never crossed her screen, my friend. His other deductions might be like houses built on quicksand, but this view of Annie Wilkes seemed to him as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar. Because of his researches for Misery, he had rather more than a layman's understanding of neurosis and psychosis, and he knew that although a borderline psychotic might have alternating periods of deep depression and almost aggressive cheerfulness and hilarity, the puffed and infected ego underlay all, positive that all eyes were upon him or her, positive that he or she was staffing in a great drama; the outcome was a thing for which untold millions waited with held breath. Such an ego simply forbade certain lines of thought. These lines were predictable because they all stretched in the same direction: from the unstable person to objects, situations, or other persons outside of the subject's field of control (or fantasy: to the neurotic there might be some difference but to the psychotic they were one and the same). Annie Wilkes had wanted Fast Cars destroyed, and so, to her, there had been only the one copy. Maybe I could have saved the damn thing by telling her there were more. She would have seen destroying the manuscript was futile. She - His breathing, which had been slowing toward sleep, suddenly caught in his throat and his eyes widened. Yes, she would have seen it was futile. She would have been forced to acknowledge one of those lines leading to a place beyond her control. The ego would be hurt, squealing - I have such a temper! If she had been clearly faced with the fact that she couldn't destroy his "dirty book", might she not have decided to destroy the creator of the dirty book instead? After all, there was no copy of Paul Sheldon. His heart was beating fast. In the other room the clock began to bong, and overhead he heard her thumping footfalls cross his ceiling. The faint sound of her urinating. The toilet flushing. The heavy pad of her feet as she went back to bed. The creak of the springs. You won't make me mad again, will you? His mind suddenly tried to break into a gallop, an overbred trotter trying to break stride. What, if anything, did all this dime-store psychoanalysis mean in terms of his car? About when it was found? What did it mean to him? "Wait a minute," he whispered in the dark. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, just hold the phone. Slow down." He put his arm across his eyes again and again conjured up the state trooper with the dark sunglasses and the overlong sideburns. We've found an overturned car halfway down Humbuggy Mountain, the state trooper was saying, and blah-de-blah-de-blah. Only this time Annie doesn't invite him to stay for coffee. This time she isn't going to feel safe until he's out of her house and far down the road. Even in the kitchen, even with two closed doors between them and the guest-room, even with the guest doped to the ears, the trooper might hear a groan. If his car was found, Annie Wilkes would know she was in trouble, wouldn't she? "Yes," Paul whispered. His legs were beginning to hurt again, but in the dawning horror of this recognition he barely noticed. She would be in trouble not because she had taken him to her house, especially if it was closer than Sidewinder (and so Paul believed it to be); for that they would probably give her a medal and a lifetime membership in the Misery Chastain Fan Club (to Paul's endless chagrin there actually was such a thing). The problem was, she had taken him to her house and installed him in the guest-room and told no one. No phone-call to the local ambulance service: "This is Annie up on the Humbuggy Mountain Road and I've got a fellow here, looks a bit like King Kong used him for a trampoline." The problem was, she had filled him full of dope to which she was certainly not supposed to have access - not if he was even half as hooked as he thought he was. The problem was, she had followed the dope with a weird sort of treatment, sticking needles in his arms, splinting his legs with sawed-off pieces of aluminum crutches. The problem was, Annie Wilkes had been on the stand up there in Denver . . . and not as a supporting witness, either, Paul thought. I'd bet the house and lot on that. So she watches the cop go down the road in his spandy-clean cruiser (spandy-clean except for the caked chunks of snow and salt nestled in the wheel-wells and under the bumpers, that is), and she feels safe again . . . but not too safe, because now she is like an animal with its wind up. Way, way up. The cops will look and look and look, because he is not just good old Joe Blow from Kokomo; he is Paul Sheldon, the literary Zeus from whose brow sprang Misery Chastain, darling of the dump-bins and sweetheart of the supermarkets. Maybe when they don't find him they'll stop looking, or at least look someplace else, but maybe one of the Roydmans saw her going by that night and saw something funny in the back of Old Bessie, something wrapped in a quilt, something vaguely manlike. Even if they hadn't seen a thing, she wouldn't put it past the Roydmans to make up a story to get her in trouble; they didn't like her. The cops might come back, and next time her house-guest might not be so quiet. He remembered her eyes darting around aimlessly when the fire in the barbecue pot was on the verge of getting out of control. He could see her tongue sticking her lips. He could see her walking back and forth, hands clenching and unclenching, peeking every now and then into the guest-room where he lay lost in his cloud. Every now and then she would utter "Goodness!" to the empty rooms. She had stolen a rare bird with beautiful feathers - a rare bird which came from Africa. And what would they do if they found out? Why, put her up on the stand again, of course. Put her up on the stand again in Denver. And this time she might not walk free. He took his arm away from his eyes. He looked at the interlocking W's swaying drunkenly across the ceiling. He didn't need his elbow over his eyes to see the rest. She might hang on to him for a day or a week. It might take a follow-up phone-call or visit to make her decide to get rid of her rara avis. But in the end she would do it, just as wild dogs begin to bury their illicit kills after they have been hunted awhile. She would give him five pills instead of two, or perhaps smother him with a pillow; perhaps she would simply shoot him. Surely there was a rifle around somewhere - almost everyone living in the high country had one - and that would take care of the problem. No - not the gun. Too messy. Might leave evidence. None of that had happened yet because no one had found the car. They might be looking for him in New York or in L.A., but no one was looking for him in Sidewinder, Colorado. But in the spring. The W's straggled across the ceiling. Washed. Wiped. Wasted. The throbbing in his legs was more insistent; the next time the clock bonged she would come, but he was almost afraid she would read his thoughts on his face, like the bare premise of a story too gruesome to write. His eyes drifted left. There was a calendar on the wall. It showed a boy riding a sled down a hill. It was February according to the calendar, but if his calculations were right it was already early March. Annie Wilkes had just forgotten to turn the page. How long before the melting snows revealed his Camaro with its New York plates and its registration in the glove compartment proclaiming the owner to be Paul Sheldon? How long before that trooper called on her, or until she read it in the paper? How long until the spring melt? Six weeks? Five? That could be the length of my life, Paul thought, and began shuddering. By then his legs were fully awake, and it was not until she had come in and given him another dose of medicine that he was able to fall asleep.
    The next evening she brought him the Royal. It was an e model from an era when such things as electric typewriters, color TVs, and touch-tone telephones were only science fiction. It was as black and as proper as a pair of high-button shoes. Glass panels were set into the sides, revealing the machine's levers, springs, ratchets, and rods. A steel return lever, dull with disuse, jutted to one side like a hitchhiker's thumb. The roller was dusty, its hard rubber scarred and pitted. The letters ROYAL ran across the front of the machine in a semicircle. Grunting, she set it down on the foot of the bed between his legs after holding it up for his inspection for a moment. He stared at it. Was it grinning? Christ, it looked like it was. Anyway, it already looked like trouble. The ribbon was a faded two-tone, red over black. He had forgotten there were such ribbons. The sight of this one called up no pleasant nostalgia. "Well?" She was smiling eagerly. "What do you think?" "It's nice!" he said at once. "A real antique." Her smile clouded. "I didn't buy it for an antique. I bought it for second-hand. Good second-hand." He responded with immediate glibness. "Hey! There ain't no such thing as an antique typewriter - not when you come right down to it. A good typewriter lasts damn near forever. These old office babies are tanks!" If he could have reached it he would have patted it. If he could have reached it he would have kissed it. Her smile returned. His heartbeat slowed a little. "I got it at Used News. Isn't that a silly name for a store? But Nancy Dartmonger, the lady who runs it, is a silly woman." Annie darkened a little, but he saw at once that she was not darkening at him - the survival instinct, he was discovering, might be only instinct in itself, but it created some really amazing shortcuts to empathy. He found himself becoming more attuned to her moods, her cycles; he listened to her tick as if she were a wounded clock. "As well as silly, she's bad. Dartmonger! Her name ought to be Whoremonger. Divorced twice and now she's living with a bartender. That's why when you said it was an antique - " "It looks fine," he said. She paused a long moment and then said, as if confessing: "It has a missing n." "Does it?" "Yes - see?" She tilted the typewriter up so he could peer at the banked semicircle of keys and see the missing striker like a missing molar in a mouthful of teeth worn but otherwise complete. "I see." She set it back down. The bed rocked a little. Paul guessed the typewriter might weigh as much as fifty pounds. It had come from a time when there were no alloys, no plastics . . . also no six-figure book advances, no movie tie-in editions, no USA Today, no Entertainment Tonight, no celebrities doing ads for credit cards or vodka. The Royal grinned at him, promising trouble. "She wanted forty-five dollars but gave me five Because of the missing n." She offered him a crafty smile. No fool she, it said. He smiled back. The tide was in. That made both smiling and lying easy. "Gave it to you? You mean you didn't dicker?" Annie preened a little. "I told her n was an important letter," she allowed. "Well good for you! Damn!" Here was a new discovery. Sycophancy was easy once you got the hang of it. Her smile grew sly, inviting him to share a delicious secret. "I told her n was one of the letters in my favorite writer's name." "It's two of the letters in my favorite nurse's name." Her smile became a glow. Incredibly, a blush rose in her solid cheeks. That's what it would look like, he thought, if you built a furnace inside the mouth of one of those idols in the H. Rider Haggard stories. That is what it would look like at night. "You fooler!" she simpered. "I'm not!" he said. "Not at all." "Well!" She looked off for a moment, not blank but just pleased, a little flustered, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. Paul could have taken some pleasure in the way this was going if not for the weight of the typewriter, as solid as the woman and also damaged; it sat there grinning with its missing tooth, promising trouble. "The wheelchair was much more expensive," she said. "Ostomy supplies have gone right out of sight since I -" She broke off, frowned, cleared her throat. Then she looked back at him, smiling. "But it's time you began sitting up, and I don't begrudge the cost one tiny bit. And of course you can't type lying down, can you?" "No . . . " "I've got a board . . . I cut it to size . . . and paper . . . wait!" She dashed from the room like a girl, leaving Paul and the typewriter to regard each other. His grin disappeared the moment her back was turned. The Royal's never varied. He supposed later that he had pretty well known what all this was about, just as he supposed he had known what the typewriter would sound like, how it would clack through its grin like that old comic-strip character Ducky Daddles. She came back with a package of Corrasable Bond in shrink-wrap and a board about three feet wide by four feet long. "Look!" She put the board on the arms of the wheelchair that stood by his bed like some solemn skeletal visitor. Already he could see the ghost of himself behind that board, pent in like a prisoner. She put the typewriter on the board, facing the ghost, and put the package of Corrasable Bond - the paper he hated most in all the world because of the way the type blurred when the pages were shuffled together - beside it. She had now created a kind of cripple's study. "What do you think?" "It looks good," he said, uttering the biggest lie of his life with perfect ease, and then asked the question to which he already knew the answer. "What will I write there, do you think?" "Oh, but Paul" she said, turning to him, her eyes dancing animatedly in her flushed face. "I don't think, I know! You're going to use this typewriter to write a new novel! Your best novel! Misery's Return!"
    Misery's Return. He felt nothing at all. He supposed a man who had just cut his hand off in a power saw might feel this same species of nothing as he stood regarding his spouting wrist with dull surprise. "Yes!" Her face shone like a searchlight. Her powerful hands were clasped between her breasts. "It will be a book just for me, Paul! My payment for nursing you back to health! The one and only copy of the newest Misery book! I'll have something no one else in the world has, no matter how much they might want it! Think of it!" "Annie, Misery is dead." But already, incredibly, he was thinking, I could bring her back. The thought filled him with tired revulsion but no real surprise. After all, a man who could drink from a floor-bucket should be capable of a little directed writing. "No she's not," Annie replied dreamily. "Even when I was . . . when I was so mad at you, I knew she wasn't really dead. I knew you couldn't really kill her. Because you're good." "Am I?" he said, and looked at the typewriter. It grinned at him. We're going to find out just how good you are, old buddy, it whispered. "Yes!" "Annie, I don't know if I can sit in that wheelchair. Last time - " "Last time it hurt, you bet it did. And it will hurt next time, too. Maybe even a little more. But there will come a day - and it won't be long, either, although it may seem longer to you than it really is - when it hurts a little less. And a little less. And a little less." "Annie, will you tell me one thing?" "Of course, dear!" "If I write this story for you - " "Novel! A nice big one like all the others - maybe even bigger!" He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. "Okay - if I write this novel for you, will you let me go when it's done?" For a moment unease slipped cloudily across her face, and then she was looking at him carefully, studiously. "You speak as though I were keeping you prisoner, Paul." He said nothing, only looked at her. "I think that by the time you finish, you should be up to the . . . up to the strain of meeting people again," she said. "Is that what you want to hear?" "That's what I wanted to hear, yes." "Well, honestly! I knew writers were supposed to have big egos, but I guess I didn't understand that meant ingratitude, too!" He went on looking at her and after a moment she looked away, impatient and a little flustered. At last he said: "I'll need all the Misery books, if you've got them, because I don't have my concordance." "Of course I have them!" she said. Then: "What's a concordance?" "It's a loose-leaf binder where I have all my Misery stuff," he said. "Characters and places, mostly, but cross-indexed three or four different ways. Time-lines. Historical stuff . . . " He saw she was barely listening. This was the second time she'd shown not the slightest interest in a trick of the trade that would have held a class of would-be writers spellbound. The reason, he thought, was simplicity itself. Annie Wilkes was the perfect audience, a woman who loved stories without having the slightest interest in the mechanics of making them. She was the embodiment of that Victorian archetype, Constant Reader. She did not want to hear about his concordance and indices because to her Misery and the characters surrounding her were perfectly real. Indices meant nothing to her. If he had spoken of a village census in Little Dunthorpe, she might have shown some interest. "I'll make sure you get the books. They're a little dog-eared, but that's a sign a book has been well read and well loved, isn't it?" "Yes," he said. No need to lie this time. "Yes it is. "I'm going to study up on book-binding," she said dreamily. "I'm going to bind Misery's Return myself. Except for my mother's Bible, it will be the only real book I own." "That's good," he said, just to say something. He was feeling a little sick to his stomach. I'll go out now so you can put on your thinking cap," she said. "This is exciting! Don't you think so?" "Yes, Annie. I sure do." "I'll be in with some breast of chicken and mashed potatoes and peas for you in half an hour. Even a little Jell-O because you've been such a good boy. And I'll make sure you get your pain medication right on time. You can even have an extra pill in the night if you need it. I want to make sure you get your sleep, because you have to go back to work tomorrow. You'll mend faster when you're working, I'll bet!" She went to the door, paused there for a moment, and then, grotesquely, blew him a kiss. The door closed behind her. He did not want to look at the typewriter and for awhile resisted, but at last his eyes rolled helplessly toward it. It sat on the bureau, grinning. Looking at it was a little like looking at an instrument of torture - boot, rack, strappado - which is standing inactive, but only for the moment. I think that by the time you finish, you should be . . . up to the strain of meeting people again. Ah, Annie, you were lying to both of us. I knew it, and you did, too. I saw it in your eyes. The limited vista now opening before him wag extremely unpleasant: six weeks of life which he would spend suffering with his broken bones and renewing his acquaintance with Misery Chastain, nee Carmichael, followed by a hasty interment in the back yard. Or perhaps she would feed his remains to Misery the pig - that would have a certain justice, black and gruesome though it might be. Then don't do it. Make her mad. She's like a walking bottle of nitroglycerine as it is. Bounce her around a little. Make her explode. Better than lying here suffering. He tried looking up at the interlocked W's, but all too soon he was looking at the typewriter again. It stood atop the bureau, mute and thick and full of words he did not want to write, grinning with its one missing tooth. I don't think you believe that, old buddy. I think you want to stay alive even if it does hurt. If it means bringing Misery back for an encore, you'll do it. You'll try, anyway - but first you are going to have to deal with me . . . and I don't think I like your face. "Makes us even," Paul croaked. This time he tried looking out the window, where fresh snow was falling. Soon enough, however, he was looking at the typewriter again with avid repulsed fascination, not even aware of just when his gaze had shifted.
    Getting into the chair didn't hurt as much as he had feared, and that was good, because previous experience had shown him that he would hurt plenty afterward. She set the tray of food down on the bureau, then rolled the wheelchair over to the bed. She helped him to sit up - there was a dull, thudding flare of pain in his pelvic area but it subsided - and then she leaned over, the side of her neck pressing against his shoulder like the neck of a horse. For an instant he could feel the thump of her pulse, and his face twisted in revulsion. Then her right arm was firmly around his back, her left under his buttocks. "Try not to move from the knees down while I do this," she said, and then simply slid him into the chair. She did it with the ease of a woman sliding a book into an empty slot in her bookcase. Yes, she was strong. Even in good shape the outcome of a fight between him and Annie would have been in doubt. As he was now it would be like Wally Cox taking on Boom Boom Mancini. She put the board in front of him, "See how well it fits?" she said, and went to the bureau to get the food. "Annie?" "Yes." "I wonder if you could turn that typewriter around. So it faces the wall." She frowned. "Why in the world would you want me to do that?" Because I don't want it grinning at me all night. "Old superstition of mine," he said. "I always turn my typewriter to the wall before I start writing." He paused and added: "Every night while I am writing, as a matter of fact." "It's like step on a crack, break your mother's back," she said. "I never step on a crack if I can help it." She turned it around so it grinned at nothing but blank wall. "Better?" "Much." "You are such a silly," she said, and came over and began to feed him.
    He dreamed of Annie Wilkes in the court of some fabulous Arabian caliph, conjuring imps and genies from bottles and then flying around the court on a magic carpet. When the carpet banked past him (her hair streamed out behind her; her eyes were as bright and flinty as the eyes of a sea-captain navigating among icebergs), he saw it was woven all in green and white; it made a Colorado license plate. Once upon a time, Annie was calling. Once upon a time it came to pass. This happened in the days when my grandfather's grandfather was a boy. This is the story of how a poor boy. I heard this from a man who. Once upon a time. Once upon a time.
    When he woke up Annie was shaking him and bright morning sun was slanting in the window - the snow had ended. "Wake up, sleepyhead!" Annie was almost trilling. "I've got yogurt and a nice boiled egg for you, and then it will be time for you to begin." He looked at her eager face and felt a strange new emotion - hope. He had dreamed that Annie Wilkes was Scheherazade, her solid body clad in diaphanous robes, her big feet stuffed into pink sequined slippers with curly toes as she rode on her magic carpet and chanted the incantatory phrases which open the doors of the best stories. But of course it wasn't Annie that was Scheherazade. He was. And if what he wrote was good enough, if she could not bear to kill him until she discovered how it all came out no matter how much or how loudly her animal instincts yelled for her to do it, that she must do it . . . Might he not have a chance? He looked past her and saw she had turned the typewriter around before waking him; it grinned resplendently at him with its missing tooth, telling him it was all right to hope and noble to strive, but in the end it was doom alone which would count.
    She rolled him over to the window so the sun fell on him for the first time in weeks, and it seemed to him he could feel his pasty-white skin, dotted here and there with minor bedsores, murmur its pleasure and thanks. The windowpanes were edged on the inside with a tracery of frost, and when he held out his hand he could feel a bubble of cold like a dome around the window. The feel of it was both refreshing and somehow nostalgic, like a note from an old friend. For the first time in weeks - it felt like years - he was able to look at a geography different from that of his room with its unchanging verities - blue wallpaper, picture of the Arc de Triomphe, the long, long month of February symbolized by the boy sliding downhill on his sled (he thought that his mind would turn to that boy's face and stocking cap each time January became February, even if he lived to see that change of months another fifty times). He looked into this new world as eagerly as he had watched his first movie Bambi - as a child. The horizon was near; it always was in the Rockies, where longer views of the world were inevitably cut off by uptilted plates of bedrock. The sky was a perfect early-morning blue, innocent of clouds. A carpet of green forest climbed the flank of the nearest mountain. There were perhaps seventy acres of open ground between the house and the edge of the forest - the snow-cover over it was a perfect and blazing white. It was impossible to tell if the land beneath was tilled earth or open meadow. The view of this open square was interrupted by only one building: a neat red barn. When she spoke of her livestock or when he saw her trudging grimly past his window, breaking her breath with the impervious prow of her face, he had imagined a ramshackle outbuilding like an illustration from a child's book of ghost stories - rooftree bowed and sagging from years of snowweight, windows blank and dusty, some broken and blocked with pieces of cardboard, long double doors perhaps off their tracks and swaying outward. This neat and tidy structure with its dark-red paint and neat cream-colored trim looked like the five-car garage of a well-to-do country squire masquerading as a barn. In front of it stood a jeep Cherokee, maybe five years old but obviously well cared for. To one side stood a Fisher plow in a home-made wooden cradle. To attach the plow to the Jeep, she would only need to drive the Jeep carefully up to the cradle so that the hooks on the frame matched the catches on the plow, and throw the locking lever on the dashboard. The perfect vehicle for a woman who lived alone and had no neighbor she could call upon for help (except for those dirty-birdie Roydmans, of course, and Annie probably wouldn't take a plate of pork chops from them if she was dying of starvation). The driveway was neatly plowed, a testament to the fact that she did indeed use the blade, but he could not see the road - the house cut off the view. "I see you're admiring my barn, Paul." He looked around, startled. The quick and uncalculated movement awoke his pain from its doze. It snarled dully in what remained of his shins and in the bunched salt-dome that had replaced his left knee. It turned over, needling him from where it lay imprisoned in its cave of bones, and then fell lightly asleep again. She had food on a tray. Soft food, invalid food . . . but his stomach growled at the sight of it. As she crossed to him he saw that she was wearing white shoes with crepe soles. "Yes," he said. "It's very handsome." She put the board on the arms of the wheelchair and then put the tray on the board. She pulled a chair over beside him and sat down, watching him as he began to eat. "Fiddle-de-foof! Handsome is as handsome does, my mother always said. I keep it nice because if I didn't, the neighbors would yap. They are always looking for a way to get at me, or start a rumor about me. So I keep everything nice. Keeping up appearances is very, very important. As far as the barn goes, it really isn't much work, as long as you don't let things pile up. Keeping the snow from breaking in the roof is the oogiest part." The oogiest part, he thought. Save that one for the Annie Wilkes lexicon in your memoirs - if you ever get a chance to write your memoirs, that is. Along with dirty birdie and fiddle-de-foof and all the others which I'm sure will come up in time. "Two years ago I had Billy Haversham put heat-tapes in the roof. You throw a switch and they get hot and melt the ice. I won't need them much longer this winter, though see how it's melting on its own?" He had a forkful of egg halfway to his mouth. It stopped in midair as he looked out at the barn. There was a row of icicles along the cave. The tips of these icicles were dripping - dripping fast. Each drop sparkled as it fell onto a narrow canal of ice which lay at the base of the barn's side. "It's up to forty-five degrees and it's not even nine o'clock!" Annie was going on gaily as Paul imagined the rear bumper of his Camaro surfacing through the rotted snow for the sun to twinkle on. "Of course it won't last - we've got a hard snap or three ahead of us yet, and probably another big storm as well - but spring is coming, Paul, and my mother always used to say that the hope of spring is like the hope of heaven." He put his fork back down on the plate with the egg still on it. "Don't want that last bite? All done?" "All done," he agreed, and in his mind he saw the Roydmans driving up from Sidewinder, saw a bright arrow of light strike Mrs Roydman's face, making her wince and put a shielding hand up - What's down there, Ham? . . . Don't tell me I'm crazy, there's something down there! Reflection damn near burned m'eye out! Back up, I want to take another look. "Then I'll just take the tray," she said, "and you can get started." She favored him with a glance that was very warm. "I just can't tell you how excited I am, Paul." She went out, leaving him to sit in the wheelchair and look at the water running from the icicles which clung to the edge of the barn.
    "I'd like some different paper, if you could get it," he said when she came back to put the typewriter and paper on the board. "Different from this?" she asked, tapping the cellophane-wrapped package of Corrasable Bond. "But this is the most expensive of all! I asked when I went into the Paper Patch!" "Didn't your mother ever tell you that the most expensive is not always the best?" Annie's brow darkened. Her initial defensiveness had been replaced by indignation. Paul guessed her fury would follow. "No, she did not. What she told me, Mister Smart Guy, is that when you buy cheap, you get cheap." The climate inside her, he had come to discover, was like springtime in the Midwest. She was a woman full of tornadoes waiting to happen, and if he had been a farmer observing a sky which looked the way Annie's face looked right now, he would have at once gone to collect his family and herd them into the storm cellar. Her brow was too white. Her nostrils flared regularly, like the nostrils of an animal scenting fire. Her hands had begun to spring limberly open and then snatch closed again, catching air and squashing it. His need for her and his vulnerability to her screamed at him to back off, to placate her while there was still time if indeed there still was - as a tribe in one of -those Rider Haggard stories would have placated their goddess when she was angry, by making sacrifice to her effigy. But there was another part of him, more calculating and less cowed, which reminded him that he could not play the part of Scheherazade if he grew frightened and placatory whenever she stormed. If he did, she would storm all the more. If you didn't have something she badly wants, this part of him reasoned, she would have taken you to the hospital right away or killed you later on to protect herself from the Roydmans - because for Annie the world is full of Roydmans, for Annie they're lurking behind every bush. And if you don't bell this bitch right now, Paulie my boy, you may never be able to. She was beginning to breathe more rapidly, almost to hyperventilate; the rhythm of her clenching hands was likewise speeding up, and he knew that in a moment she would be beyond him. Gathering up the little courage he had left, trying desperately to summon exactly the right note of sharp and yet almost casual irritability, he said: "And you might as well stop that. Getting mad won't change a thing." She froze as if he had slapped her and looked at him, wounded. "Annie," he said patiently, "this is no big deal." "It's a trick," she said. "You don't want to write my book and so you're making up tricks not to start. I knew you would. Oh boy. But it's not going to work. It - " "That's silly," he said. "Did I say I wasn't going to start?" "No . . . no, but - " "That's right. Because I am. And if you come here and take a look at something, I'll show you what the problem is. Bring that Webster Pot with you, please." "The what?" "Little jar of pens and pencils, " he said. "On newspapers, they sometimes call them Webster Pots. After Daniel Webster." This was a lie he had made up on the spur of the moment, but it had the desired effect - she looked more confused than ever, lost in a specialists" world of which she had not the slightest knowledge. The confusion had diffused (and thus defused) her rage even more; he saw she now didn't even know if she had any right to be angry. She brought over the jar of pens and pencils and slammed them down on the board and he thought: Goddam! I won No - that wasn't right. Misery had won. But that isn't right, either. It was Scheherazade. Scheherazade won. "What?" she said grumpily. "Watch." He opened the package of Corrasable and took out a sheet He took a freshly sharpened pencil and drew a fine on the paper. Then he took a ballpoint pen and drew another line parallel to the first. Then he slid his thumb across the slightly waffled surface of the paper. Both lines blurred smudgily in the direction his thumb was travelling, the pencil-line slightly more than the one he had drawn with the pen. "See?" "So what?" "Ribbon-ink will blur, too," he said. "It doesn't blur a much as that pencil-line, but it's worse than the ballpoint-ink line." "Were you going to sit and rub every page with your thumb?" "Just the shift of the pages against each other will accomplish plenty of blurring over a period of weeks or ever days," he said, "and when a manuscript is in work, it get shifted around a lot. You're always hunting back through to find a name or a date. My God, Annie, one of the first thing you find out in this business is that editors hate reading manuscripts typed on Corrasable Bond almost as much a they hate hand-written manuscripts." "Don't call it that. I hate it when you call it that." He looked at her, honestly puzzled. "Call what what?" "When you pervert the talent God gave you by calling it a business. I hate that." "I'm sorry." "You ought to be," she said stonily. "You might as well call yourself a whore." No, Annie, he thought, suddenly filled with fury. I'm no whore. Fast Cars was about not being a whore. That's what killing that goddamned bitch Misery was about, now that I think about it. I was driving to the West Coast to celebrate my liberation from a state of whoredom. What you did was to pull me out of the wreck when I crashed my car and stick me back in the crib again. Two dollar straight up, four dollar I take you around the world. And every now and then I see a flicker in your eyes that tells me a part of you way back inside knows it too. A jury might let you off by reason of insanity, but not me, Annie. Not this kid. "A good point," he said. "Now, going back to the subject of the paper - " "I'll get you your cockadoodie paper," she said sullenly. "Just tell me what to get and I'll get it." "As long as you understand I'm on your side - " "Don't make me laugh. No one has been on my side since my mother died twenty years ago." "Believe what you want, then," he said. "If you're so insecure you can't believe I'm grateful to you for saving my life, that's your problem." He was watching her shrewdly, and again saw a flicker of uncertainty, of wanting to believe, in her eyes. Good. Very good. He looked at her with all the sincerity he could muster, and again in his mind he imagined shoving a chunk of glass into her throat, once and forever letting out the blood that serviced her crazy brain. "At least you should be able to believe that I am on the book's side. You spoke of binding it. I assume that you meant binding the manuscript? The typed pages?" "Of course that's what I meant." Yes, you bet. Because if you took the manuscript to a printer, it might raise questions. You may be naive about the world of books and publishing, but not that naive. Paul Sheldon is missing, and your printer might remember receiving a book-length manuscript concerning itself with Paul Sheldon's most famous character right around the time the man himself disappeared, mightn't he? And he'd certainly remember the instructions - instructions so queer any printer would remember them. One printed copy of a novel-length manuscript. Just one. "What did she look like, officer? Well, she was a big woman. Looked sort of like a stone idol in a H. Rider Haggard story. Just a minute, I've got her name and address here in the files . . . Just let me look up the carbons of the invoices . . . " "Nothing wrong with the idea, either," he said. "A bound manuscript can be damned handsome. Looks like a good folio edition. But a book should last a long time, Annie, and if I write this one on Corrasable, you're going to have nothing but a bunch of blank papers in ten years or so. Unless, of course, you just put it on the shelf." But she wouldn't want that, would she? Christ, no. She'd want to take it down every day, maybe every few hours. Take it down and gloat over it. An odd stony look had come onto her face. He did not like this mulishness, this almost ostentatious look of obduracy. It made him nervous. He could calculate her rage, but there was something in this new expression which was as opaque as it was childish. "You don't have to talk anymore," she said. "I already told you I'll get you your paper. What kind?" "In this business-supply store you go to - " "The Paper Patch." "Yes, the Paper Patch. You tell them you'd like two reams - a ream is a package of five hundred sheets - " "I know that. I'm not stupid, Paul." "I know you're not," he said, becoming more nervous still. The pain had begun to mutter up and down his legs again, and it was speaking even more -loudly from the area of his pelvis - he had been sitting up for nearly an hour, and the dislocation down there was complaining about it. Keep cool, for God's sake - don't lose everything you've gained! But have I gained anything? Or is it only wishful thinking? "Ask for two reams of white long-grain mimeo. Hammermill Bond is a good brand; so is Triad Modem. Two reams of mimeo will cost less than this one package of Corrasable, and it should be enough to do the whole job, write and rewrite." "I'll go right now," she said, getting up suddenly. He looked at her, alarmed, understanding that she meant to leave him without his medication again, and sitting up this time, as well. Sitting already hurt; the pain would be monstrous by the time she got back, even if she hurried. "You don't have to do that," he said, speaking fast. "The Corrasable is good enough to start with - after all, I'll have to rewrite anyway - " "Only a silly person would try to start a good work with a bad tool." She took the package of Corrasable Bond, then snatched the sheet with the two smudged lines and crumpled it into a ball. She tossed both into the wastebasket and turned back to him. That stony, obdurate look covered her face like a mask. Her eyes glittered like tarnished dimes. "I'm going to town now," she said. "I know you want to get started as soon as you can, since you're on my side - " she spoke these last words with intense, smoking sarcasm (and, Paul believed, more self-hate than she would ever know) "and so I'm not even going to take time to put you back in your bed." She smiled, a pulling of the lips that was grotesquely puppet-like, and slipped to his side in her silent white nurse" shoes. Her fingers touched his hair. He flinched. He tried not to but couldn't help it. Her dead-alive smile widened. "Although I suspect we may have to put off the actual start of Misery's Retum for a day . . . or two . . . perhaps even three. Yes, it may be as long as three days before you are able to sit up again. Because of the pain. Too bad. I had champagne chilling in the fridge. I'll have to put it back in the shed." "Annie, really, I can start if you'll just - " "No, Paul." She moved to the door and then turned, looking at him with that stony face. Only her eyes, those tarnished dimes, were fully alive under the shelf of her brow. "There is one thought I would like to leave you with. You may think you can fool me, or trick me; I know I look slow and stupid. But I am not stupid, Paul, and I am not slow." Suddenly her face broke apart. The stony obduracy shattered and what shone through was the countenance of an insanely angry child. For a moment Paul thought the extremity of his terror might kill him. Had he thought he had gained the upper hand? Had he? Could one possibly play Scheherazade when one's captor was insane? She rushed across the room at him, thick legs pumping, knees flexing, elbows chopping back and forth in the stale sickroom air like pistons. Her hair bounced and joggled around her face as it came loose from the bobby-pins that held it up. Now her passage was not silent; it was like the tread of Goliath striding into the Valley of Bones. The picture of the Arc de Triomphe cracked affrightedly on the wall. "Geeeee-yahhh!" she screamed, and brought her fist down on the bunched salt-dome that had been Paul Sheldon's left knee. He threw his head back and howled, veins standing out in his neck and on his forehead. Pain burst out from his knee and shrouded him, whitely radiant, in the center of a nova. She tore the typewriter off the board and slammed it down on the mantel, lifting its weight of dead metal as he might have lifted an empty cardboard box. "So you just sit there," she said, lips pulled back in that grinning rictus, "and you think about who is in charge here, and all the things I can do to hurt you if you behave badly or try to trick me. You sit there and you scream if you want to, because no one can hear you. No one stops here because they all know Annie Wilkes is crazy, they all know what she did, even if they did find me innocent." She walked back to the door and turned again, and he screamed again when she did, in anticipation of another bull-like charge, and that made her grin more widely. "I'll tell you something else," she said softly. "They think I got away with it, and they are right. Think about that, Paul, while I'm in town getting your cockadoodie paper." She left, slamming the bedroom door hard enough to shake the house. Then there was the click of the lock. He leaned back in the chair, shaking all over, trying not to shake because it hurt, not able to help it. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Again and again he saw her flying across the room, again and again he saw her bringing her fist down on the remains of his knee with all the force of an angry drunk hammering on an oak bar, again and again he was swallowed in that terrible blue-white nova of pain. "Please, God, please," he moaned as the Cherokee started outside with a bang and a roar. "Please, God, please - let me out of this or kill me . . . let me out of this or kill me." The roar of the engine faded off down the road and God did neither and he was left with his tears and the pain, which was now fully awake and raving through his body.
    He thought later that the world, in its unfailing perversity, would probably construe those things which he did next as acts of heroism. And he would probably let them - but in fact what he did was nothing more than a final staggering grab for self-preservation. Dimly he seemed to hear some madly enthusiastic sportscaster - Howard Cosell or Warner Wolf or perhaps that all-time crazy Johnny Most - describing the scene, as if his effort to get at her drug supply before the pain killed him was some strange sporting event - a trial substitution for Monday Night Football, perhaps. What would you call a sport like that, anyway? Run for the Dope? "I just cannot believe the guts this Sheldon kid is displaying today! the sportscaster in Paul Sheldon's head was enthusing. "I don't believe anyone in Annie Wilkes Stadium - or in the home viewing audience, for that matter - thought he had the sly-test chance of getting that wheelchair moving after the blow he took, but I believe . . . yes, it is! It's moving! Let's look at the replay!" Sweat ran down his forehead and stung his eyes. He licked a mixture of salt and tears off his lips. The shuddering would not stop. The pain was like the end of the world. He thought: There comes a point when the very discussion of pain becomes redundant. No one knows there is pain the size of this in the world. No one. It is like being possessed by demons. It was only the thought of the pills, the Novril that she kept somewhere in the house, which got him moving. The locked bedroom door . . . the possibility the dope might not be in the downstairs bathroom as he had surmised but hidden somewhere . . . the chance she might come back and catch him . . . these things mattered not at all, these things were only shadows behind the pain. He would deal with each problem as it came up or he would die. That was all. Moving caused the band of fire below his waist and in his legs to sink in deeper, cinching his legs like belts studded with hot, inward-pointing spikes. But the chair did move. Very slowly the chair began to move. He had managed about four feet before realizing he was going to do nothing more useful than roll the wheelchair past the door and into the far comer unless he could turn it. He grasped the right wheel, shuddering, (think of the pills, think of the relief of the pills) and bore down on it as hard as he could. Rubber squeaked minutely on the wooden floor, the cries of mice. He bore down, once strong and now flabby muscles quivering like jelly, lips peeling back from his gritted teeth, and the wheelchair slowly pivoted. He grasped both wheels and got the chair moving again. This time he rolled five feet before stopping to straighten himself out. Once he'd done it, he grayed out. He swam back to reality five minutes later, hearing the dim, goading voice of that sportscaster in his head: "He's trying to get going again! I just cannot be-leeve the guts of this Sheldon kid!" The front of his mind only knew about the pain; it was the back that directed his eyes. He saw it near the door and rolled over to it. He reached down, but the tips of his fingers stopped a clear three inches short of the floor, where one of the two or three bobby-pins that had fallen from her hair as she charged him lay. He bit his lip, unaware of the sweat running down his face and neck and darkening his pajama shirt. "I don't think he can get that pin, folks - it's been a fan-tas-tic effort, but I'm afraid this is where it all ends." Well, maybe not. He let himself slouch to the right in the wheelchair, at first trying to ignore the pain in his right side - pain that felt like an increasing bubble of pressure, something similar to a tooth impaction - and then giving way and screaming. As she said, there was no one to hear him anyway. The tips of his fingers still hung an inch from the floor, brushing back and forth just above the bobby-pin, and his right hip really felt as if it might simply explode outward in a squirt of some vile white bone-jelly. Oh God please please help me - He slumped farther in spite of the pain. His fingers brushed the pin but succeeded only in pushing it a quarter of an inch away. Paul slid down in the chair, still slumped to the right, and screamed again at the pain in his lower legs. His eyes were bulging, his mouth was open, his tongue straight down between his teeth like the pull on a window-shade. Little drops of spittle ran from its tip and spatted on the floor. He pinched the bobby-pin between his fingers . . . tweezed it . . . almost lost it . . . and then it was locked in his fist. Straightening up brought a fresh slough of pain, and when the act was accomplished he could do no more than sit and pant for awhile, his head tilted as far as the unc Compromising back of the wheelchair would allow, the bobby-pin lying on the board across the chair's arms. For awhile he was quite sure he was going to puke, but that passed. What are you doing? part of his mind scolded wearily after awhile. Are you waiting for the pain to go away? It won't. She's always quoting her mother, but your own mother had a few sayings, too, didn't she? Yes. She had. Sitting there, head thrown back, face shiny with sweat, hair plastered to his forehead, Paul spoke one of them aloud now, almost as an incantation: "There may be fairies, there may be elves, but God helps those who help themselves." Yeah. So stop waiting, Paulie - the only elf that's going to show up here is that all-time heavyweight, Annie Wilkes. He got moving again, rolling the wheelchair slowly across to the door. She had locked it, but he believed he might be able to unlock it. Tony Bonasaro, who was now only so many blackened flakes of ash, had been a car-thief. As part of his preparation for writing Fast Cars, Paul had studied the mechanics of car-thievery with a tough old ex-cop named Tom Twyford. Tom had shown him how to hot-wire an ignition, how to use the thin and limber strip of metal car-thieves called Slim Jims to yank the lock on a car door, how to short out a car burglar alarm. Or, Tom had said on a spring day in New York some two and a half years ago, let's say you don't want to steal a car at all. You got a car, but you're a little low on gas. You got a hose, but the car you pick for the free donation has got a locking gas-cap. Is this a problem? Not if you know what you're doing, because most gas-cap locks are strictly Mickey Mouse. All you really need is a bobby-pin. It took Paul five endless minutes of backing and filling to get the wheelchair exactly where he wanted it, with the left wheel almost touching the door. The keyhole was the old-fashioned sort, reminding Paul of John Tenniel's Alice in Wonderland drawings, set in the middle of a tarnished keyplate. He slid down a bit in the wheelchair - giving out a single barking groan - and looked through it. He could see a short hallway leading down to what was clearly the parlor: a dark-red rug on the floor, an old-fashioned divan upholstered in similar material, a lamp with tassels hanging from its shade. To his left, halfway down the hallway, was a door which stood ajar. Paul's pulsebeat quickened. That was almost surely the downstairs bathroom - he had heard her running enough water in there (including the time she had filled the floor-bucket from which he had enthusiastically drunk), and wasn't it also the place she always came from before giving him his medicine? He thought it was. He grasped the bobby-pin. It spilled out of his fingers onto the board and then skittered toward the edge. "No!" he cried hoarsely, and clapped a hand over it just before it could fall. He clasped it in one fist and then grayed out again. Although he had no way of telling for sure, he thought he was out longer this second time. The pain - except for the excruciating agony of his left knee - seemed to have abated a tiny bit. The bobby-pin was on the board across the arms of the wheelchair. This time he flexed the fingers of his right hand several times before picking it up. Now, he thought, unbending it and holding it in his right hand. You will not shake. Hold that thought. YOU WILL NOT SHAKE. He reached across his body with the pin and slipped it into the keyhole, listening as the sportscaster in his mind (so vivid!) described the action. Sweat ran steadily down his face like oil. He listened . . . but even more, he felt. The tumbler in a cheap lock is nothing but a rocker, Tom Twyford had said, seesawing his hand to demonstrate. You want to turn a rocking chair over? Easiest thing in the world, tight? Just grab the rockers and flip the mother right over . . . nothing to it. And that's all you got to do with a lock like this. Slide the tumbler up and then open the gas-cap quick, before it can snap back. He had the tumbler twice, but both times the bobby-pin slipped off and the tumbler snapped back before he could do more than begin to move it. The bobby-pin was starting to bend. He thought that it would break after another two or three tries. "Please God," he said, sliding it in again. "Please God, what do you say? Just a little break for the kid, that's all I'm asking." ("Folks, Sheldon has performed heroically today, but this has got to be his last shot. The crowd has fallen silent . . .") He closed his eyes, the sportscaster's voice fading as he listened avidly to the minute rattle of the pin in the lock. Now! Here was resistance! The tumbler! He could see it lying in there like the curved foot of a rocking chair, pressing the tongue of the lock, holding it in place, holding him in place. It's strictly Mickey Mouse, Paul. Just stay cool. When you hurt this badly, it was hard to stay cool. He grasped the doorknob with his left hand, reaching under his right arm to do it, and began to apply gentle pressure to the bobby-pin. A little more . . . a little more . . . In his mind he could see the rocker beginning to move in its dusty little alcove; he could see the lock's tongue begin to retract. No need for it to go all the way, good God, no - no need to overturn the rocking chair, to use Tom Twyford's metaphor. Just the instant it cleared the doorframe - a push - The pin was simultaneously starting to bend and slip. He felt it happening, and in desperation he pushed upward as hard as he could, turned the knob, and shoved at the door. There was a snap as the pin broke in two, the part in the lock falling in, and he had a dull moment to consider his failure before he saw that the door was slowly swinging open with the tongue of the lock sticking out of the plate like a steel finger. "Jesus," he whispered. "Jesus, thank you." Let's go to the videotape! Warner Wolf screamed exultantly in his mind as the thousands in Annie Wilkes Stadium - not to mention the untold millions watching at home - broke into thunderous cheers. "Not now, Warner," he croaked, and began the long, draining job of backing and filling the wheelchair so he could get a straight shot at the door.
    He had a bad - no, not just bad; terrible, horrible - moment when it seemed the wheelchair was not going to fit. It was no more than two inches too wide, but that was two inches too much. She brought it in collapsed, that's why you thought it was a shopping cart at first, his mind informed him drearily. In the end he was able to squeeze through - barely - by positioning himself squarely in the doorway and then leaning forward enough to grab the jambs of the door in his hands. The axle-caps of the wheels squalled against the wood, but he was able to get through. After he did, he grayed out again.
    He voice called him out of his daze. He opened his eyes and saw she was pointing a shotgun at him. Her eyes glittered furiously. Spit shone on her teeth. "If you want your freedom so badly, Paul," Annie said, "I'll be happy to grant it to you." She pulled back both hammers.
    He jerked, expecting the shotgun blast. But she wasn't there, of course; his mind had already recognized the dream. Not a dream - a warning. She could come back anytime. Anytime at all. The quality of the light fanning through the half-open bathroom door had changed, grown brighter. It looked like moonlight. He wished the clock would chime and tell him just how close to right he was, but the clock was obstinately silent. She stayed away fifty hours before. So she did. And she might stay away eighty this time. Or you might hear that Cherokee pulling in five seconds from now. In case you didn't know it, friend, the Weather Bureau can post tornado warnings, but when it comes to telling exactly when and where they'll touch down, they don't know fuck-all. "True enough," he said, and rolled the wheelchair down to the bathroom. Looking in, he saw an austere room floored with hexagonal white tiles. A bathtub with rusty fans spreading below the faucets stood on clawed feet. Beside it was a linen closet. Across from the tub was a sink. Over the sink was a medicine cabinet. The floor-bucket was in the tub - he could see its plastic top. The hall was wide enough for him to swing the chair around and face the door, but now his arms were trembling with exhaustion. He had been a puny kid and so he had tried to take reasonably good care of himself as an adult, but his muscles were now the muscles of an invalid and the puny kid was back, as if all that time spent doing laps and jogging and working out on the Nautilus machine had only been a dream. At least this doorway was wider - not much, but enough to make his passage less hair-raising. Paul bumped over the lintel, and then the chair's hard rubber wheels rolled smoothly over the tiles. He smelled something sour that he automatically associated with hospitals - Lysol, maybe. There was no toilet in here, but he had already suspected that - the only flushing sounds came from upstairs, and now that he thought of it, one of those upstairs flushes always followed his use of the bedpan. Here there was only the tub, the basin, and the linen closet with its door standing open. He gazed briefly at the neat piles of blue towels and washcloths - he was familiar with both from the sponge-baths she had given him - and then turned his attention to the medicine cabinet over the washstand. It was out of reach. No matter how much he strained, it was a good nine inches above the tips of his fingers. He could see this but reached anyway, unable to believe Fate or God or Whoever could be so cruel. He looked like an outfielder reaching desperately for a home-run ball he had absolutely no chance of catching. Paul made a wounded, baffled noise, lowered his hand, and then leaned back, panting. The gray cloud lowered. He willed it away and looked around for something he could use to open the medicine cabinet's door and saw an O-Cedar mop leaning stiffly in the corner on a long blue pole. You going to use that? Really? Well, I guess you could. Pry open the medicine cabinet door and then just knock a bunch of stuff out into the basin. But the bottles will break and even if there are no bottles, fat chance, everyone has at least a bottle of Listerine or Scope or something in their medicine cabinet, you have no way of putting back what you knock down. So when she comes back and sees the mess, what then? "I'll tell her it was Misery," he croaked. "I'll tell her she dropped by looking for a tonic to bring her back from the dead." Then he burst into tears . . . but even through the tears his eyes were conning the room, looking for something, anything, inspiration, a break, just a fucking br - He was looking into the linen closet again, and his rapid breath suddenly stopped. His eyes widened. His first cursory glance had taken in the shelves with their stacks of folded sheets and pillow-cases and washcloths and towels. Now he looked at the floor and on the floor were a number of square cardboard cartons. Some were labelled UPJOHN. Some were labelled LILY. Some were labelled CAM PHARMACEUTICALS. He turned the wheelchair roughly, hurting himself, not caring. Please God don't let it be her cache of extra shampoo or her tampons or pictures of her dear old sainted mother or - He fumbled for one of the boxes, dragged it out, and opened the flaps. No shampoo, no Avon samples. Far from it. There was a wild jumble of drugs in the carton, most of them in small boxes marked SAMPLES. At the bottom a few pills and capsules, different colors, rolled around loose. Some, like Motrim and Lopressor, the hypertension drug his father had taken during the last three years of his life, he knew. Others he had never heard of. "Novril," he muttered, raking wildly through the box while sweat ran down his face and his legs pounded and throbbed. "Novril, where's the fucking Novril?" No Novril. He pushed the flaps of the carton closed and shoved it back into the linen closet, making only a token effort to replace it in the same place it had been. Should be all right, the place looked like a goddam junk-heap - Leaning far to his left, he was able to snag a second carton. He opened it and was hardly able to credit what he was seeing. Darvon. Darvocet. Darvon Compound. Morphose and Morphose Complex. Librium. Valium. And Novril. Dozens and dozens and dozens of sample boxes. Lovely boxes. Dear boxes. O lovely dear sainted boxes. He clawed one open and saw - the capsules she gave him every six hours, enclosed in their little blisters. NOT TO BE DISPENSED WITHOUT PHYSICIAN'S PRESCRIPTION, the box said. "Oh dear Jesus, the doctor is in!" Paul sobbed. He tore the cellophane apart with his teeth and chewed up three of the capsules, barely aware of the bruisingly bitter taste. He halted, stared at the five that were left encased in their mutilated cellophane sheet, and gobbled a fourth. He looked around quickly, chin down on his breastbone, eyes crafty and frightened. Although he knew it was too soon to be feeling any relief, he did feel it - having the pills, it seemed, was even more important than taking the pills. It was as if he had been given control of the moon and the tides - or had just reached up and taken it. It was a huge thought, awesome . . . and yet also frightening, with undertones of guilt and blasphemy. If she comes back now - "All right - okay. I get the message." He looked into the carton, trying to calculate how many of the sample boxes he might be able to take without her realizing a little mouse named Paul Sheldon had been nibbling away at the supply. He giggled at this, a shrill, relieved sound, and he realized the medication wasn't just working on his legs. He had gotten his fix, if you wanted to be perfectly vulgar about it. Get moving, idiot. You have no time to enjoy being stoned. He took five of the boxes - a total of thirty capsules. He had to restrain himself from taking more. He stirred the remaining boxes and bottles around, hoping the result would look no more or less helter-skelter than it had when he first peered into the box. He refolded the flaps and slipped the box back into the linen closet. A car was coming. He straightened up, eyes wide. His hands dropped to the arms of the wheelchair and gripped them with panicky tightness. If it was Annie, he was screwed and that was the end of it. He would never be able to maneuver this balky, oversized thing back to the bedroom in time. Maybe he could whack her once with the O-Cedar mop or something before she wrung his neck like a chicken. He sat in the wheelchair with the sample boxes of Novril in his lap and his broken legs stuck stiffly out in front of him and waited for the car to pass or turn in. The sound swelled endlessly . . . then began to diminish. Okay. Do you need a more graphic warning, Paul-baby? As a matter of fact, he did not. He took a final glance at the cartons. They looked to him about as they had when he had first seen them - although he had been looking at them through a haze of pain and could not be completely sure but he knew that the piles of boxes might not be as random as they had looked, oh, not at all. She had the heightened awareness of the deep neurotic, and might have had the position of each box carefully memorized. She might take one casual glance in here and immediately realize in some arcane way what had happened. This knowledge did not bring fear but a sense of resignation - he had needed the medication, and he had somehow managed to escape his room and get it. If there were consequences, punishment, he could face them with at least the understanding that he could have done nothing but what he had done. And of all she had done to him, this resignation was surely a symptom of the worst - she had turned him into a pain-racked animal with no moral options at all. He slowly backed the wheelchair across the bathroom, glancing behind himself occasionally to make sure he wasn't wandering off-course. Before, such a movement would have made him scream with pain, but now the pain was disappearing under a beautiful glassiness. He rolled into the hall and then stopped as a terrible thought struck him: if the bathroom floor had been slightly damp, or even a bit dirty - He stared at it, and for a moment the idea that he must have left tracks on those clean white tiles was so persuasive that he actually saw them. He shook his head and looked again. No tracks. But the door was open farther than it had been. He rolled forward, swung the wheelchair slightly to the right so he could lean over and grab the knob, and pulled the door half-closed. He eyed it, then pulled it a bit closer to the jamb. There. That looked right. He was reaching for the wheels, meaning to pivot the chair so he could roll back to his room, when he realized he was pointed more or less toward the living room, and the living room was where most people kept their telephone and - Light bursting in his mind like a flare over a foggy meadow. "Hello, Sidewinder Police Station, Officer Humbuggy speaking." "Listen to me, Officer Humbuggy. Listen very carefully and don't interrupt, because I don't know how much time I have. My name is Paul Sheldon. I'm calling you from Annie Wilkes's house. I've been her prisoner here for at least two weeks, maybe as long as a month. I - " "Annie Wilkes!" "Get out here tight away. Send an ambulance. And for Christ's sake get here before she gets back . "Before she gets back," Paul moaned. "Oh yeah " Far out." What makes you think she even has a phone? Who have you ever heard her call? Who would she call? Her good friends the Roydmans? Just because she doesn't have anyone to chatter with all day doesn't mean she is incapable of understanding that accidents can happen; she could fall downstairs and break an arm or a leg, the barn might catch on fire - How many times have you heard this supposed telephone ring? So now there's a requirement? Your phone has to ring at least once a day or Mountain Bell comes and takes it out? Besides, I haven't even been conscious most of the time. You're pushing your luck. You're pushing your luck and you know it. Yes. He knew it, but the thought of that telephone, the imagined sensation of the cool black plastic under his fingers, the click of the rotary dial or the single booping sound as he touch-toned 0 - these were seductions too great to resist. He worked the wheelchair around until it was directly facing the parlor, and then he rolled down to it. The place smelled musty, unaired, obscurely tired. Although the curtains guarding the bow windows were only half-drawn, affording a lovely view of the mountains, the room seemed too dark - because its colors were too dark, he thought. Dark red predominated, as if someone had spilled a great deal of venous blood in here. Over the mantel was a tinted photograph portrait of a forbidding woman with tiny eyes buried in a fleshy face. The rosebud mouth was pursed. The photograph, enclosed in a rococo frame of gold gilt, was the size of the President's photograph in the lobby of a big-city post office. Paul did not need a notarised statement telegram to tell him that this was Annie's sainted mother. He rolled farther into the room. The left side of the wheelchair struck a small occasional table covered with ceramic gewgaws. They chattered together and one of them - a ceramic penguin sitting on a ceramic ice-block - fell off the side. Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed it. The gesture was almost casual . . . and then reaction set in. He held the penguin tightly in his curled fist, trying to will the shakes away. You caught it, no sweat, besides, there's a rug on the floor, probably wouldn't have broken anyway - But if it HAD! his mind screamed back. If it HAD! Please, you have to go back to your room before you leave something . . . a track . . . No. Not yet. Not yet, no matter how frightened he was. Because this had cost him too much. If there was a payoff, he was going to have it. He looked around the room, which was stuffed with heavy graceless furniture. It should have been dominated by the bow windows and the gorgeous view of the Rockies beyond them but was instead dominated by the picture of that fleshy woman imprisoned in the ghastly glaring frame with its twists and curlicues and frozen gilded swags. On a table at the far end of the couch, where she would sit to watch TV, was a plain dialer telephone. Gently, hardly daring to breathe, he put the ceramic penguin (NOW MY TALE IS TOLD! the legend on the block of ice read) back on the knickknack table and rolled across the room toward the phone. There was an occasional table in front of the sofa; he gave it a wide berth. On it was a spray of dried flowers in an ugly green vase, and the whole thing looked topheavy, ready to tip over if he so much as brushed it. No cars coming outside - only the sound of the wind. He grasped the handset of the phone in one hand and slowly picked it up. A queer predestinate sense of failure filled his mind even before he got the handset to his ear and heard the nothing. He replaced the receiver slowly, a line from an old Roger Miller song occurring to him and seeming to make a certain senseless sense: No phone, no pool, no pets . . . I ain't got no cigarettes. . . He traced the phone cord with his eye, saw the small square module on the baseboard, saw that the jack was plugged into it. Everything looked in perfect working order. Like the barn, with its heat-tapes. Keeping up appearances is very, very important. He closed his eyes and saw Annie removing the jack and squeezing Elmer's Glue into the hole in the module. Saw her replacing the jack in the dead-white glue, where it would harden and freeze forever. The phone company would have no idea that anything was wrong unless someone attempted to call her and reported the line out of service, but no one called Annie, did they? She would receive regular monthly bills on her dead line and she would pay them promptly, but the phone was only stage dressing, part of her never-ending battle to keep up appearances, like the neat barn with its fresh red paint and cream trim and heat-tapes to melt the winter ice. Had she castrated the phone in case of just such an expedition as this? Had she foreseen the possibility that he might get out of the room? He doubted it. The phone - the working phone - would have gotten on her nerves long before he came. She would have lain awake at night, looking up at the ceiling of her bedroom, listening to the high-country whine of the wind, imagining the people who must be thinking of her with either dislike or outright malevolence - all the world's Roydmans - people who might, any of them, at any time, take a notion to call her on the telephone and scream: You did it, Annie! They took you all the way to Denver, and we know you did it! They don't take you all the way to Denver if you're innocent! She would have asked for and gotten an unlisted number, of course - anyone tried for and acquitted of some major crime (and if it had been Denver, it had been major) would have done that - but even an unlisted number would not comfort a deep neurotic like Annie Wilkes for long. They were all in league against her, they could get the number if they wanted, probably the lawyers who had been against her would be glad to pass it out to anyone who asked for it, and people would ask, oh yes - for she would see the world as a dark place full of moving human masses like seas, a malevolent universe surrounding a single small stage upon which a single savagely bright pinspot illuminated . . . only her. So best to eradicate the phone, silence it, as she would silence him if she knew he had gotten even this far. Panic burst shrilly up in his mind, telling him that he had to get out of here and back into his room, hide the pills somewhere, return to his place by the window so that when she returned she would see no difference, no difference at all, and this time he agreed with the voice. He agreed wholeheartedly. He backed carefully away from the phone, and when he gained the room's one reasonably clear area, he began the laborious job of turning the wheelchair around, careful not to bump the occasional table as he did so. He had nearly finished the turn when he heard an approaching car and knew, simply knew it was her, returning from town.
    He nearly fainted, in the grip of the greatest terror he had ever known, a terror that was filled with deep and unmanning guilt. He suddenly remembered the only incident in his life that came remotely close to this one in its desperate emotional quality. He had been twelve. It was summer vacation, his father working, his mother gone to spend the day in Boston with Mrs Kaspbrak from across the street. He had seen a pack of her cigarettes and had lit one of them. He smoked it enthusiastically, feeling both sick and fine, feeling the way he imagined robbers must feel when they stick up banks. Halfway through the cigarette, the room filled with smoke, he had heard her opening the front door. "Paulie? It's me I've forgotten my purse!" He had begun to wave madly at the smoke, knowing it would do no good, knowing he was caught, knowing he would be spanked. It would be more than a spanking this time. He remembered the dream he'd had during one of his gray-outs: Annie cocking the shotgun's twin triggers and saying If you want your freedom so badly, Paul, I'll be happy to grant it to you. The sound of the engine began to drop as the approaching car slowed down. It was her. Paul settled hands he could barely feel on the wheels and rolled the chair toward the hallway, sparing one glance at the ceramic penguin on its block of ice. Was it in the same place it had been? He couldn't tell. He would have to hope. He rolled down the hall toward the bedroom door, gaining speed. He hoped to shoot right through, but his aim was a little off. Only a little . . . but the fit was so tight that a little was enough. The wheelchair thumped against the right side of the doorway and bounced back a little. Did you chip the paint? his mind screamed at him. Oh Jesus Christ, did you chip the paint, did you leave a track? No chip. There was a small dent but no chip. Thank God. He backed and filled frantically, trying to navigate the fineness of the doorway's tight fit. The car motor swelled, nearing, still slowing. Now he could hear the crunch of its snow tires. Easy . . . easy does it . . . He rolled forward and then the hubs of the wheels stuck solid against the sides of the bedroom door. He pushed harder, knowing it wasn't going to do any good, he was stuck in the doorway like a cork in a wine-bottle, unable to go either way - He gave one final heave, the muscles in his arms quivering like overtuned violin strings, and the wheelchair passed through with that same low squealing noise. The Cherokee turned into the driveway. She'll have packages, his mind gibbered, the typewriter paper, maybe a few other things as well, and she'll be careful coming up the walk because of the ice, you're in here now, the worst is over, there's time, still time . . . He rolled farther into the room, then turned in a clumsy semicircle. As he rolled the wheelchair parallel to the open bedroom door, he heard the Cherokee's engine shut off. He leaned over, grasped the doorknob, and tried to pull the door shut. The tongue of the lock, still stuck out like a stiff steel finger, bumped the jamb. He pushed it with the ball of his thumb. It began to move . . . then stopped. Stopped dead, refusing to let the door close. He stared at it stupidly for a moment, thinking of that old Navy maxim: Whatever CAN go wrong WILL go wrong. Please God, no more, wasn't it enough she killed the phone? He let go of the tongue. It sprang all the way out again. He pushed it in again and encountered the same obstruction. Inside the guts of the lock he heard an odd rattling and understood. It was the part of the bobby-pin which had broken off. It had fallen in some way that was keeping the lock's tongue from retracting completely. He heard the Cherokee's door open. He even heard her grunt as she got out. He heard the rattle of paper bags as she gathered up her parcels. "Come on," he whispered, and began to chivvy the tongue gently back and forth. It went in perhaps a sixteenth of an inch each time and then stopped. He could hear the goddam bobby-pin rattling inside there. "Come on . . . come on . . . come on . . . " He was crying again and unaware of it, sweat and tears mingling freely on his cheeks; he was vaguely aware that he was still in great pain despite all the dope he had swallowed, that he was going to pay a high price for this little piece of work. Not so high as the one she'll make you pay if you can't get this goddam door closed again, Paulie. He heard her crunching, cautious footsteps as she made her way up the path. The rattle of bags . . . and now the rattle of her housekeys as she took them from her purse. "Come on . . . come on . . . come on . . . " This time when he pushed the tongue there was a flat click from inside the lock and the jut of metal slid a quarter of an inch into the door. Not enough to clear the jamb . . . but almost. "Please . . . come on . . . " He began to chivvy the tongue faster, diddling it, listening as she opened the kitchen door. Then, like a hideous flashback to that day when his mother had caught him smoking, Annie called cheerily: "Paul? It's me! I've got your paper!" Caught! I'm caught! Please God, no God, don't let her hurt me God - His thumb pressed convulsively tight against the tongue of the lock, and there was a muffled snap as the bobby-pin broke. The tongue slid all the way into the door. In the kitchen he heard a zipper-rasp as she opened her parka. He closed the bedroom door. The click of the latch (did she hear that? must have must have heard that!) sounded as loud as a track-starter's gun. He backed the wheelchair up toward the window. He was still backing and filling as her footsteps began to come down the hallway. "I've got your paper, Paul! Are you awake?" Never . . . never in time . . . She'll hear . . . He gave the guide-lever a final wrench and rolled the wheelchair into place beside the window just as her key rattled in the lock. It won't work . . . the bobby-pin . . . and she'll be suspicious . . . But the piece of alien metal must have fallen all the way to the bottom of the lock, because her key worked perfectly. He sat in his chair, eyes half-closed, hoping madly that he had gotten the chair back where it had been (or at least close enough to it so she wouldn't notice), hoping that she would take his sweat-drenched face and quivering body simply as reactions to missing his medication, hoping most of all that he hadn't left a track - It was as the door swung open that he looked, down and saw that by looking for individual tracks with such agonized concentration, he had ignored a whole buffalo run: the boxes of Novril were still in his lap.
    She had two packages of paper, and she held one up in each hand, smiling. "Just what you asked for, isn't it? Triad Modem. Two reams here, and I have two more in the kitchen, just in case. So you see - " She broke off, frowning, looking at him. "You're dripping with sweat . . . and your color is very hectic." She paused. "What have you been doing?" And although that set the panicky little voice of his lesser self to squealing again that he was caught and might as well give it up, might as well confess and hope for her mercy, he managed to meet her suspicious gaze with an ironic weariness. "I think you know what I've been doing," he said. "I've been suffering." From the pocket of her skirt she took a Kleenex and wiped his brow. The Kleenex came away wet. She smiled at him with that terrible bogus maternity. "Has it been very bad?" "Yes. Yes, it has. Now can I - " "I told you about making me mad. Live and learn, isn't that what they say? Well, if you live, I guess you'll learn." "Can I have my pills now?" "In a minute," she said. Her eyes never left his sweaty face, its waxy pallor and red rashlike blotches. "First I want to make sure there's nothing else you want. Nothing else stupid old Annie Wilkes forgot because she doesn't know how a Mister Smart Guy goes about writing a book. I want to make sure you don't want me to go back to town and get you a tape recorder, or maybe a special pair of writing slippers, or something like that. Because if you want me to, I'll go. Your wish is my command. I won't even wait to give you your pills. I'll hop right into Old Bessie again and go. So what do you say, Mister Smart Guy? You all set?" "I'm all set," he said. "Annie, please - " "And you won't make me mad anymore?" "No. I won't make you mad anymore." "Because when I get mad I'm not really myself." Her eyes dropped. She was looking down to where his hands were cupped tightly together over the sample boxes of Novril. She looked for a very long time. "Paul?" she asked softly. "Paul, why are you holding your hands like that?" He began to cry. It was guilt he cried from, and he hated that most of all: in addition to everything else that this monstrous woman had done to him, she had made him feel guilty as well. So he cried from guilt . . . but also from simple childish weariness. He looked up at her, tears flowing down his cheeks, and played the absolute last card in his hand. "I want my pills," he said, "and I want the urinal. I held it all the time you were gone, Annie, but I can't hold it much longer, and I don't want to wet myself again." She smiled softly, radiantly, and pushed his tumbled hair off his brow. "You poor dear. Annie has put you through a lot, hasn't she? Too much! Mean old Annie! I'll get it right away."
    He wouldn't have dared put the pills under the rug even if he thought he had time to do so before she came back - the packages were small, but the bulges would still be all too obvious. As he heard her go into the downstairs bathroom, he took them, reached painfully around his body, and stuffed them into the back of his underpants. Sharp cardboard corners poked into the cleft of his buttocks. She came back with the urinal, an old-fashioned tin device that looked absurdly like a blow-dryer, in one hand. She had two Novril capsules and a glass of water in the other. Two more of those on top of the ones you took half an hour ago may drop you into a coma and then kill you, he thought, and a second voice answered at once: Fine with me. He took the pills and swallowed them with water. She held out the urinal. "Do you need help?" "I can do it," he said. She turned considerately away while he fumbled his penis into the cold tube and urinated. He happened to he looking at her when the hollow splashing sounds commenced, and he saw that she was smiling. "All done?" she asked a few moments later. "Yes." He actually had needed to urinate quite badly - in all the excitement he hadn't had time to think of such things. She took the urinal away from him and set it carefully on the floor. "Now let's get you back in bed," she said. "You must be exhausted . . . and your legs must be singing grand opera." He nodded, although the truth was that he could not feel anything - this medication on top of what he'd already given himself was rolling him toward unconsciousness at an alarming rate, and he was beginning to see the room through gauzy layers of gray. He held onto one thought - she was going to lift him into bed, and when she did that she would have to be blind as well as numb not to notice that the back of his underwear happened to be stuffed with little boxes. She got him over to the side of the bed. "Just a minute longer, Paul, and you can take a snooze." "Annie, could you wait five minutes?" he managed. She looked at him, gaze narrowing slightly. "I thought you were in a lot of pain, buster." "I am," he said. "It hurts . . . too much. My knee, mostly. Where you . . . uh, where you lost your temper. I'm not ready to be picked up. Could I have five minutes to . . . to . . . " He knew what he wanted to say but it was drifting away from him. Drifting away and into the gray. He looked at her helplessly, knowing he was going to be caught after all. "To let the medication work?" she asked, and he nodded gratefully. "Of course. I'll just put a few things away and come right back." As soon as she was out of the room he was reaching behind him, bringing out the boxes and stuffing them under the mattress one by one. The layers of gauze kept thickening, moving steadily from gray toward black. Get them as far under as you can, he thought blindly. Make sure you do that so if she changes the bed she won't pull them out with the ground sheet. Get them as far under as you . . . you . . . He shoved the last under the mattress, then leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, where the W's danced drunkenly across the plaster. Africa, he thought. Now I must rinse, he thought. Oh, I am in so much trouble here, he thought. Tracks, he thought. Did I leave tracks? Did I - Paul Sheldon got scared, so he said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air". I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said 'FRESH' and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
     
  2. #2 wackdeafboy, Oct 25, 2009
    WHOOOAAA

    Spaces and paragraph please.
     
  3. #3 Highbinder, Oct 25, 2009
    Think this thread deserves one of these :)

    [​IMG]
     
  4. #4 Glass Jar, Oct 25, 2009
    read it all, will read again.

    good post.
     
  5. #5 wackdeafboy, Oct 25, 2009
    WOW!

    What a great story bro!!

    I read it 3 times!
     
  6. #6 Bencker, Oct 25, 2009
    i read all of it.

    what you have to do is:

    riA leB fo ecnirP eht sa enorht ym elttes oT ereht yllanif saw I modgnik ym ta dekool I 'retal ay llems semoh oY' eibbac eht ot delley I dnA 8 ro 7 tuoba esuoh eht ot pu dellup I 'riA leB ot semoh oY' - 'ti tegrof woN' thguoht I tuB erar si bac siht yas nac I gnihtyna fI rorrim eht ni ecid dah ti dna 'HSERF' dias etalp esnecil ehT raen emac ti nehw dna bac a rof deltsihw I ."ria-leb ni elcnu dna eitnua ruoy htiw gnivom er'uoy" dias eh os ,deracs tog nodlehS luaP - I diD ?skcart evael I diD .thguoht eh ,skcarT .thguoht eh ,ereh elbuort hcum os ni ma I ,hO .thguoht eh ,esnir tsum I woN .thguoht eh ,acirfA .retsalp eht ssorca ylneknurd decnad s'W eht erehw ,gniliec eht ta pu dekool dna kcab denael neht ,sserttam eht rednu tsal eht devohs eH . . . uoy . . . uoy sa rednu raf sa meht teG .teehs dnuorg eht htiw tuo meht llup t'now ehs deb eht segnahc ehs fi os taht od uoy erus ekaM .yldnilb thguoht eh ,nac uoy sa rednu raf sa meht teG .kcalb drawot yarg morf ylidaets gnivom ,gninekciht tpek ezuag fo sreyal ehT .eno yb eno sserttam eht rednu meht gniffuts dna sexob eht tuo gnignirb ,mih dniheb gnihcaer saw eh moor eht fo tuo saw ehs sa noos sA ".kcab thgir emoc dna yawa sgniht wef a tup tsuj ll'I .esruoc fO" .yllufetarg deddon eh dna ,deksa ehs "?krow noitacidem eht tel oT" .lla retfa thguac eb ot gniog saw eh gniwonk ,ylsselpleh reh ta dekool eH .yarg eht otni dna yawa gnitfirD .mih morf yawa gnitfird saw ti tub yas ot detnaw eh tahw wenk eH " . . . ot . . . ot setunim evif evah I dluoC .pu dekcip eb ot ydaer ton m'I .repmet ruoy tsol uoy erehw ,hu . . . uoy erehW .yltsom ,eenk yM .hcum oot . . . struh tI" .dias eh ",ma I" ".retsub ,niap fo tol a ni erew uoy thguoht I" .ylthgils gniworran ezag ,mih ta dekool ehS .deganam eh "?setunim evif tiaw uoy dluoc ,einnA" ".ezoons a ekat nac uoy dna ,luaP ,regnol etunim a tsuJ" .deb eht fo edis eht ot revo mih tog ehS .sexob elttil htiw deffuts eb ot deneppah raewrednu sih fo kcab eht taht eciton ot ton bmun sa llew sa dnilb eb ot evah dluow ehs taht did ehs nehw dna ,deb otni mih tfil ot gniog saw ehs - thguoht eno otno dleh eH .yarg fo sreyal yzuag hguorht moor eht ees ot gninnigeb saw eh dna ,etar gnimrala na ta ssensuoicsnocnu drawot mih gnillor saw flesmih nevig ydaerla d'eh tahw fo pot no noitacidem siht - gnihtyna leef ton dluoc eh taht saw hturt eht hguohtla ,deddon eH ".arepo dnarg gnignis eb tsum sgel ruoy dna . . . detsuahxe eb tsum uoY" .dias ehs ",deb ni kcab uoy teg s'tel woN" .roolf eht no ylluferac ti tes dna mih morf yawa laniru eht koot ehS .sgniht hcus fo kniht ot emit dah t'ndah eh tnemeticxe eht lla ni - yldab etiuq etaniru ot dedeen dah yllautca eH ".seY" .retal stnemom wef a deksa ehs "?enod llA" .gnilims saw ehs taht was eh dna ,decnemmoc sdnuos gnihsalps wolloh eht nehw reh ta gnikool eh ot deneppah eH .detaniru dna ebut dloc eht otni sinep sih delbmuf eh elihw yawa yletaredisnoc denrut ehS .dias eh ",ti od nac I" "?pleh deen uoy oD" .laniru eht tuo dleh ehS .retaw htiw meht dewollaws dna sllip eht koot eH .em htiw eniF :ecno ta derewsna eciov dnoces a dna ,thguoht eh ,uoy llik neht dna amoc a otni uoy pord yam oga ruoh na flah koot uoy seno eht fo pot no esoht fo erom owT .rehto eht ni retaw fo ssalg a dna seluspac lirvoN owt dah ehS .dnah eno ni ,reyrd-wolb a ekil yldrusba dekool taht ecived nit denoihsaf-dlo na ,laniru eht htiw kcab emac ehS .skcottub sih fo tfelc eht otni dekop srenroc draobdrac prahS .stnaprednu sih fo kcab eht otni meht deffuts dna ,ydob sih dnuora yllufniap dehcaer ,meht koot eh ,moorhtab sriatsnwod eht otni og reh draeh eh sA .suoivbo oot lla eb llits dluow seglub eht tub ,llams erew segakcap eht - kcab emac ehs erofeb os od ot emit dah eh thguoht eh fi neve gur eht rednu sllip eht tup derad evah t'ndluow eH

    ".yawa thgir ti teg ll'I !einnA dlo naeM !hcum ooT ?ehs t'nsah ,tol a hguorht uoy tup sah einnA .raed roop uoY" .worb sih ffo riah delbmut sih dehsup dna ,yltnaidar ,yltfos delims ehS ".niaga flesym tew ot tnaw t'nod I dna ,regnol hcum ti dloh t'nac I tub ,einnA ,enog erew uoy emit eht lla ti dleh I .laniru eht tnaw I dna" ,dias eh ",sllip ym tnaw I" .dnah sih ni drac tsal etulosba eht deyalp dna ,skeehc sih nwod gniwolf sraet ,reh ta pu dekool eH .sseniraew hsidlihc elpmis morf osla tub . . . tliug morf deirc eh oS .llew sa ytliug leef mih edam dah ehs ,mih ot enod dah namow suortsnom siht taht esle gnihtyreve ot noitidda ni :lla fo tsom taht detah eh dna ,morf deirc eh tliug saw tI .yrc ot nageb eH "?taht ekil sdnah ruoy gnidloh uoy era yhw ,luaP" .yltfos deksa ehs "?luaP" .emit gnol yrev a rof dekool ehS .lirvoN fo sexob elpmas eht revo rehtegot ylthgit deppuc erew sdnah sih erehw ot nwod gnikool saw ehS .deppord seye reH ".flesym yllaer ton m'I dam teg I nehw esuaceB" ".eromyna dam uoy ekam t'now I .oN" "?eromyna dam em ekam t'now uoy dnA" " - esaelp ,einnA" .dias eh ",tes lla m'I" "?tes lla uoY ?yuG tramS retsiM ,yas uoy od tahw oS .og dna niaga eisseB dlO otni thgir poh ll'I .sllip ruoy uoy evig ot tiaw neve t'now I .dnammoc ym si hsiw ruoY .og ll'I ,ot em tnaw uoy fi esuaceB .taht ekil gnihtemos ro ,sreppils gnitirw fo riap laiceps a ebyam ro ,redrocer epat a uoy teg dna nwot ot kcab og ot em tnaw t'nod uoy erus ekam ot tnaw I .koob a gnitirw tuoba seog yuG tramS retsiM a woh wonk t'nseod ehs esuaceb togrof sekliW einnA dlo diputs esle gnihtoN .tnaw uoy esle gnihton s'ereht erus ekam ot tnaw I tsriF" .sehctolb ekilhsar der dna rollap yxaw sti ,ecaf ytaews sih tfel reven seye reH .dias ehs ",etunim a nI" "?won sllip ym evah I naC" ".nrael ll'uoy sseug I ,evil uoy fi ,lleW ?yas yeht tahw taht t'nsi ,nrael dna eviL .dam em gnikam tuoba uoy dlot I" " - I nac woN .sah ti ,seY .seY" "?dab yrev neeb ti saH" .ytinretam sugob elbirret taht htiw mih ta delims ehS .tew yawa emac xeneelK ehT .worb sih depiw dna xeneelK a koot ehs triks reh fo tekcop eht morF ".gnireffus neeb ev'I" .dias eh ",gniod neeb ev'I tahw wonk uoy kniht I" .sseniraew cinori na htiw ezag suoicipsus reh teem ot deganam eh ,ycrem reh rof epoh dna ssefnoc llew sa thgim ,pu ti evig llew sa thgim dna thguac saw eh taht niaga gnilaeuqs ot fles ressel sih fo eciov elttil ykcinap eht tes taht hguohtla dnA "?gniod neeb uoy evah tahW" .desuap ehS ".citceh yrev si roloc ruoy dna . . . taews htiw gnippird er'uoY" .mih ta gnikool ,gninworf ,ffo ekorb ehS " - ees uoy oS .esac ni tsuj ,nehctik eht ni erom owt evah I dna ,ereh smaer owT .medoM dairT ?ti t'nsi ,rof deksa uoy tahw tsuJ" .gnilims ,dnah hcae ni pu eno dleh ehs dna ,repap fo segakcap owt dah ehS

    .pal sih ni llits erew lirvoN fo sexob eht :nur olaffub elohw a derongi dah eh ,noitartnecnoc dezinoga hcus htiw skcart laudividni rof gnikool yb taht was dna nwod ,dekool eh taht nepo gnuws rood eht sa saw tI - kcart a tfel t'ndah eh taht lla fo tsom gnipoh ,noitacidem sih gnissim ot snoitcaer sa ylpmis ydob gnireviuq dna ecaf dehcnerd-taews sih ekat dluow ehs taht gnipoh ,)eciton t'ndluow ehs os ti ot hguone esolc tsael ta ro( neeb dah ti erehw kcab riahc eht nettog dah eh taht yldam gnipoh ,desolc-flah seye ,riahc sih ni tas eH .yltcefrep dekrow yek reh esuaceb ,kcol eht fo mottob eht ot yaw eht lla nellaf evah tsum latem neila fo eceip eht tuB . . . suoicipsus eb ll'ehs dna . . . nip-ybbob eht . . . krow t'now tI .kcol eht ni delttar yek reh sa tsuj wodniw eht ediseb ecalp otni riahcleehw eht dellor dna hcnerw lanif a revel-ediug eht evag eH . . . raeh ll'ehS . . . emit ni reven . . . reveN "?ekawa uoy erA !luaP ,repap ruoy tog ev'I" .yawllah eht nwod emoc ot nageb spetstoof reh sa gnillif dna gnikcab llits saw eH .wodniw eht drawot pu riahcleehw eht dekcab eH .nug s'retrats-kcart a sa duol sa dednuos )!taht draeh evah tsum evah tsum ?taht raeh ehs did( hctal eht fo kcilc ehT .rood moordeb eht desolc eH .akrap reh denepo ehs sa psar-reppiz a draeh eh nehctik eht nI .rood eht otni yaw eht lla dils eugnot ehT .ekorb nip-ybbob eht sa pans delffum a saw ereht dna ,kcol eht fo eugnot eht tsniaga thgit ylevisluvnoc desserp bmuht siH - doG em truh reh tel t'nod ,doG on ,doG esaelP !thguac m'I !thguaC "!repap ruoy tog ev'I !em s'tI ?luaP" :ylireehc dellac einnA ,gnikoms mih thguac dah rehtom sih nehw yad taht ot kcabhsalf suoedih a ekil ,nehT .rood nehctik eht denepo ehs sa gninetsil ,ti gnilddid ,retsaf eugnot eht yvvihc ot nageb eH " . . . no emoc . . . esaelP" .tsomla tub . . . bmaj eht raelc ot hguone toN .rood eht otni hcni na fo retrauq a dils latem fo tuj eht dna kcol eht edisni morf kcilc talf a saw ereht eugnot eht dehsup eh nehw emit sihT " . . . no emoc . . . no emoc . . . no emoC" .esrup reh morf meht koot ehs sa syekesuoh reh fo elttar eht won dna . . . sgab fo elttar ehT .htap eht pu yaw reh edam ehs sa spetstoof suoituac ,gnihcnurc reh draeh eH .eiluaP ,niaga desolc rood maddog siht teg t'nac uoy fi yap uoy ekam ll'ehs eno eht sa hgih os toN .krow fo eceip elttil siht rof ecirp hgih a yap ot gniog saw eh taht ,dewollaws dah eh epod eht lla etipsed niap taerg ni llits saw eh taht erawa yleugav saw eh ;skeehc sih no yleerf gnilgnim sraet dna taews ,ti fo erawanu dna niaga gniyrc saw eH " . . . no emoc . . . no emoc . . . no emoC" .ereht edisni gnilttar nip-ybbob maddog eht raeh dluoc eH .deppots neht dna emit hcae hcni na fo htneetxis a spahrep ni tnew tI .htrof dna kcab yltneg eugnot eht yvvihc ot nageb dna ,derepsihw eh ",no emoC" .slecrap reh pu derehtag ehs sa sgab repap fo elttar eht draeh eH .tuo tog ehs sa tnurg reh draeh neve eH .nepo rood s'eekorehC eht draeh eH .yletelpmoc gnitcarter morf eugnot s'kcol eht gnipeek saw taht yaw emos ni nellaf dah tI .ffo nekorb dah hcihw nip-ybbob eht fo trap eht saw tI .dootsrednu dna gnilttar ddo na draeh eh kcol eht fo stug eht edisnI .noitcurtsbo emas eht deretnuocne dna niaga ni ti dehsup eH .niaga tuo yaw eht lla gnarps tI .eugnot eht fo og tel eH ?enohp eht dellik ehs hguone ti t'nsaw ,erom on ,doG esaelP .gnorw og LLIW gnorw og NAC revetahW :mixam yvaN dlo taht fo gnikniht ,tnemom a rof yldiputs ti ta derats eH .esolc rood eht tel ot gnisufer ,daed deppotS .deppots neht . . . evom ot nageb tI .bmuht sih fo llab eht htiw ti dehsup eH .bmaj eht depmub ,regnif leets ffits a ekil tuo kcuts llits ,kcol eht fo eugnot ehT .tuhs rood eht llup ot deirt dna ,bonkrood eht depsarg ,revo denael eH .ffo tuhs enigne s'eekorehC eht draeh eh ,rood moordeb nepo eht ot lellarap riahcleehw eht dellor eh sA .elcricimes ysmulc a ni denrut neht ,moor eht otni rehtraf dellor eH . . . emit llits ,emit s'ereht ,revo si tsrow eht ,won ereh ni er'uoy ,eci eht fo esuaceb klaw eht pu gnimoc luferac eb ll'ehs dna ,llew sa sgniht rehto wef a ebyam ,repap retirwepyt eht ,derebbig dnim sih ,segakcap evah ll'ehS .yawevird eht otni denrut eekorehC ehT .esion gnilaeuqs wol emas taht htiw hguorht dessap riahcleehw eht dna ,sgnirts niloiv denutrevo ekil gnireviuq smra sih ni selcsum eht ,evaeh lanif eno evag eH - yaw rehtie og ot elbanu ,elttob-eniw a ni kroc a ekil yawrood eht ni kcuts saw eh ,doog yna od ot gniog t'nsaw ti gniwonk ,redrah dehsup eH .rood moordeb eht fo sedis eht tsniaga dilos kcuts sleehw eht fo sbuh eht neht dna drawrof dellor eH . . . ti seod ysae . . . ysaE .serit wons sti fo hcnurc eht raeh dluoc eh woN .gniwols llits ,gniraen ,dellews rotom rac ehT .tif thgit s'yawrood eht fo ssenenif eht etagivan ot gniyrt ,yllacitnarf dellif dna dekcab eH .doG knahT .pihc on tub tned llams a saw erehT .pihc oN ?kcart a evael uoy did ,tniap eht pihc uoy did ,tsirhC suseJ hO .mih ta demaercs dnim sih ?tniap eht pihc uoy diD .elttil a kcab decnuob dna yawrood eht fo edis thgir eht tsniaga depmuht riahcleehw ehT .hguone saw elttil a taht thgit os saw tif eht tub . . . elttil a ylnO .ffo elttil a saw mia sih tub ,hguorht thgir toohs ot depoh eH .deeps gniniag ,rood moordeb eht drawot llah eht nwod dellor eH .epoh ot evah dluow eH .llet t'ndluoc eH ?neeb dah ti ecalp emas eht ni ti saW .eci fo kcolb sti no niugnep cimarec eht ta ecnalg eno gniraps ,yawllah eht drawot riahc eht dellor dna sleehw eht no leef ylerab dluoc eh sdnah delttes luaP .reh saw tI .nwod dewols rac gnihcaorppa eht sa pord ot nageb enigne eht fo dnuos ehT .uoy ot ti tnarg ot yppah eb ll'I ,luaP ,yldab os modeerf ruoy tnaw uoy fI gniyas dna sreggirt niwt s'nugtohs eht gnikcoc einnA :stuo-yarg sih fo eno gnirud dah d'eh maerd eht derebmemer eH .emit siht gniknaps a naht erom eb dluow tI .deknaps eb dluow eh gniwonk ,thguac saw eh gniwonk ,doog on od dluow ti gniwonk ,ekoms eht ta yldam evaw ot nugeb dah eH "!esrup ym nettogrof ev'I em s'tI ?eiluaP" .rood tnorf eht gninepo reh draeh dah eh ,ekoms htiw dellif moor eht ,etteragic eht hguorht yawflaH .sknab pu kcits yeht nehw leef tsum srebbor denigami eh yaw eht gnileef ,enif dna kcis htob gnileef ,yllacitsaisuhtne ti dekoms eH .meht fo eno til dah dna setteragic reh fo kcap a nees dah eH .teerts eht ssorca morf karbpsaK srM htiw notsoB ni yad eht dneps ot enog rehtom sih ,gnikrow rehtaf sih ,noitacav remmus saw tI .evlewt neeb dah eH .ytilauq lanoitome etarepsed sti ni eno siht ot esolc yletomer emac taht efil sih ni tnedicni ylno eht derebmemer ylneddus eH .tliug gninnamnu dna peed htiw dellif saw taht rorret a ,nwonk reve dah eh rorret tsetaerg eht fo pirg eht ni ,detniaf ylraen eH

    .nwot morf gninruter ,reh saw ti wenk ylpmis ,wenk dna rac gnihcaorppa na draeh eh nehw nrut eht dehsinif ylraen dah eH .os did eh sa elbat lanoisacco eht pmub ot ton luferac ,dnuora riahcleehw eht gninrut fo boj suoirobal eht nageb eh ,aera raelc ylbanosaer eno s'moor eht deniag eh nehw dna ,enohp eht morf yawa ylluferac dekcab eH .yldetraehelohw deerga eH .eciov eht htiw deerga eh emit siht dna ,lla ta ecnereffid on ,ecnereffid on ees dluow ehs denruter ehs nehw taht os wodniw eht yb ecalp sih ot nruter ,erehwemos sllip eht edih ,moor sih otni kcab dna ereh fo tuo teg ot dah eh taht mih gnillet ,dnim sih ni pu yllirhs tsrub cinaP .raf siht neve nettog dah eh wenk ehs fi mih ecnelis dluow ehs sa ,ti ecnelis ,enohp eht etacidare ot tseb oS .reh ylno . . . detanimulli topsnip thgirb ylegavas elgnis a hcihw nopu egats llams elgnis a gnidnuorrus esrevinu tnelovelam a ,saes ekil sessam namuh gnivom fo lluf ecalp krad a sa dlrow eht ees dluow ehs rof - sey ho ,ksa dluow elpoep dna ,ti rof deksa ohw enoyna ot tuo ti ssap ot dalg eb dluow reh tsniaga neeb dah ohw sreywal eht ylbaborp ,detnaw yeht fi rebmun eht teg dluoc yeht ,reh tsniaga eugael ni lla erew yehT .gnol rof sekliW einnA ekil citoruen peed a trofmoc ton dluow rebmun detsilnu na neve tub - taht enod evah dluow )rojam neeb dah ti ,revneD neeb dah ti fi dna( emirc rojam emos fo dettiuqca dna rof deirt enoyna - esruoc fo ,rebmun detsilnu na nettog dna rof deksa evah dluow ehS !tneconni er'uoy fi revneD ot yaw eht lla uoy ekat t'nod yehT !ti did uoy wonk ew dna ,revneD ot yaw eht lla uoy koot yehT !einnA ,ti did uoY :maercs dna enohpelet eht no reh llac ot noiton a ekat ,emit yna ta ,meht fo yna ,thgim ohw elpoep - snamdyoR s'dlrow eht lla - ecnelovelam thgirtuo ro ekilsid rehtie htiw reh fo gnikniht eb tsum ohw elpoep eht gninigami ,dniw eht fo enihw yrtnuoc-hgih eht ot gninetsil ,moordeb reh fo gniliec eht ta pu gnikool ,thgin ta ekawa nial evah dluow ehS .emac eh erofeb gnol sevren reh no nettog evah dluow - enohp gnikrow eht - enohp ehT .ti detbuod eH ?moor eht fo tuo teg thgim eh taht ytilibissop eht neeserof ehs daH ?siht sa noitidepxe na hcus tsuj fo esac ni enohp eht detartsac ehs daH .eci retniw eht tlem ot sepat-taeh dna mirt maerc dna tniap der hserf sti htiw nrab taen eht ekil ,secnaraeppa pu peek ot elttab gnidne-reven reh fo trap ,gnisserd egats ylno saw enohp eht tub ,yltpmorp meht yap dluow ehs dna enil daed reh no sllib ylhtnom raluger eviecer dluow ehS ?yeht did ,einnA dellac eno on tub ,ecivres fo tuo enil eht detroper dna reh llac ot detpmetta enoemos sselnu gnorw saw gnihtyna taht aedi on evah dluow ynapmoc enohp ehT .reverof ezeerf dna nedrah dluow ti erehw ,eulg etihw-daed eht ni kcaj eht gnicalper reh waS .eludom eht ni eloh eht otni eulG s'remlE gnizeeuqs dna kcaj eht gnivomer einnA was dna seye sih desolc eH .tnatropmi yrev ,yrev si secnaraeppa pu gnipeeK .sepat-taeh sti htiw ,nrab eht ekiL .redro gnikrow tcefrep ni dekool gnihtyrevE .ti otni deggulp saw kcaj eht taht was ,draobesab eht no eludom erauqs llams eht was ,eye sih htiw droc enohp eht decart eH . . .setteragic on tog t'nia I . . . step on ,loop on ,enohp oN :esnes sselesnes niatrec a ekam ot gnimees dna mih ot gnirrucco gnos relliM regoR dlo na morf enil a ,ylwols reviecer eht decalper eH .gnihton eht draeh dna rae sih ot tesdnah eht tog eh erofeb neve dnim sih dellif eruliaf fo esnes etanitsederp reeuq A .pu ti dekcip ylwols dna dnah eno ni enohp eht fo tesdnah eht depsarg eH .dniw eht fo dnuos eht ylno - edistuo gnimoc srac oN .ti dehsurb sa hcum os eh fi revo pit ot ydaer ,yvaehpot dekool gniht elohw eht dna ,esav neerg ylgu na ni srewolf deird fo yarps a saw ti nO .htreb ediw a ti evag eh ;afos eht fo tnorf ni elbat lanoisacco na saw erehT .enohp eht drawot moor eht ssorca dellor dna elbat kcankkcink eht no kcab )daer eci fo kcolb eht no dnegel eht !DLOT SI ELAT YM WON( niugnep cimarec eht tup eh ,ehtaerb ot gnirad yldrah ,yltneG .enohpelet relaid nialp a saw ,VT hctaw ot tis dluow ehs erehw ,hcuoc eht fo dne raf eht ta elbat a nO .sgaws dedlig nezorf dna seucilruc dna stsiwt sti htiw emarf gniralg yltsahg eht ni denosirpmi namow yhself taht fo erutcip eht yb detanimod daetsni saw tub meht dnoyeb seikcoR eht fo weiv suoegrog eht dna swodniw wob eht yb detanimod neeb evah dluohs tI .erutinruf sselecarg yvaeh htiw deffuts saw hcihw ,moor eht dnuora dekool eH .ti evah ot gniog saw eh ,ffoyap a saw ereht fI .hcum oot mih tsoc dah siht esuaceB .saw eh denethgirf woh rettam on ,tey toN .tey toN .oN . . . kcart a . . . gnihtemos evael uoy erofeb moor ruoy ot kcab og ot evah uoy ,esaelP !DAH ti fI .kcab demaercs dnim sih !DAH ti fi tuB - yawyna nekorb evah t'ndluow ylbaborp ,roolf eht no gur a s'ereht ,sediseb ,taews on ,ti thguac uoY .yawa sekahs eht lliw ot gniyrt ,tsif delruc sih ni ylthgit niugnep eht dleh eH .ni tes noitcaer neht dna . . . lausac tsomla saw erutseg ehT .ti debbarg dna tuo dehcaer eh ,gnikniht tuohtiW .edis eht ffo llef - kcolb-eci cimarec a no gnittis niugnep cimarec a - meht fo eno dna rehtegot derettahc yehT .swagweg cimarec htiw derevoc elbat lanoisacco llams a kcurts riahcleehw eht fo edis tfel ehT .moor eht otni rehtraf dellor eH .rehtom detnias s'einnA saw siht taht mih llet ot margelet tnemetats desiraton a deen ton did luaP .eciffo tsop ytic-gib a fo ybbol eht ni hpargotohp s'tnediserP eht fo ezis eht saw ,tlig dlog fo emarf ococor a ni desolcne ,hpargotohp ehT .desrup saw htuom dubesor ehT .ecaf yhself a ni deirub seye ynit htiw namow gniddibrof a fo tiartrop hpargotohp detnit a saw letnam eht revO .ereh ni doolb suonev fo laed taerg a dellips dah enoemos fi sa ,detanimoderp der kraD .thguoht eh ,krad oot erew sroloc sti esuaceb - krad oot demees moor eht ,sniatnuom eht fo weiv ylevol a gnidroffa ,nward-flah ylno erew swodniw wob eht gnidraug sniatruc eht hguohtlA .derit ylerucsbo ,derianu ,ytsum dellems ecalp ehT .ti ot nwod dellor eh neht dna ,rolrap eht gnicaf yltcerid saw ti litnu dnuora riahcleehw eht dekrow eH .tsiser ot taerg oot snoitcudes erew eseht - 0 denot-hcuot eh sa dnuos gnipoob elgnis eht ro laid yrator eht fo kcilc eht ,sregnif sih rednu citsalp kcalb looc eht fo noitasnes denigami eht ,enohpelet taht fo thguoht eht tub ,ti wenk eH .seY .ti wonk uoy dna kcul ruoy gnihsup er'uoY .kcul ruoy gnihsup er'uoY .emit eht fo tsom suoicsnoc neeb neve t'nevah I ,sediseB ?tuo ti sekat dna semoc lleB niatnuoM ro yad a ecno tsael ta gnir ot sah enohp ruoY ?tnemeriuqer a s'ereht won oS ?gnir enohpelet desoppus siht draeh uoy evah semit ynam woH - erif no hctac thgim nrab eht ,gel a ro mra na kaerb dna sriatsnwod llaf dluoc ehs ;neppah nac stnedicca taht gnidnatsrednu fo elbapacni si ehs naem t'nseod yad lla htiw rettahc ot enoyna evah t'nseod ehs esuaceb tsuJ ?snamdyoR eht sdneirf doog reH ?llac ehs dluow ohW ?llac reh draeh reve uoy evah ohW ?enohp a sah neve ehs kniht uoy sekam tahW ".tuo raF " haey hO" .denaom luaP ",kcab steg ehs erofeB" . kcab steg ehs erofeb ereh teg ekas s'tsirhC rof dnA .ecnalubma na dneS .yawa thgit ereh tuo teG" "!sekliW einnA" " - I .htnom a sa gnol sa ebyam ,skeew owt tsael ta rof ereh renosirp reh neeb ev'I .esuoh s'sekliW einnA morf uoy gnillac m'I .nodlehS luaP si eman yM .evah I emit hcum woh wonk t'nod I esuaceb ,tpurretni t'nod dna ylluferac yrev netsiL .yggubmuH reciffO ,em ot netsiL" ".gnikaeps yggubmuH reciffO ,noitatS eciloP redniwediS ,olleH" .wodaem yggof a revo eralf a ekil dnim sih ni gnitsrub thgiL - dna enohpelet rieht tpek elpoep tsom erehw saw moor gnivil eht dna ,moor gnivil eht drawot ssel ro erom detniop saw eh dezilaer eh nehw ,moor sih ot kcab llor dluoc eh os riahc eht tovip ot gninaem ,sleehw eht rof gnihcaer saw eH .thgir dekool tahT .erehT .bmaj eht ot resolc tib a ti dellup neht ,ti deye eH .desolc-flah rood eht dellup dna ,bonk eht barg dna revo nael dluoc eh os thgir eht ot ylthgils riahcleehw eht gnuws ,drawrof dellor eH .neeb dah ti naht rehtraf nepo saw rood eht tuB .skcart oN .niaga dekool dna daeh sih koohs eH .meht was yllautca eh taht evisausrep os saw selit etihw naelc esoht no skcart tfel evah tsum eh taht aedi eht tnemom a rof dna ,ti ta derats eH - ytrid tib a neve ro ,pmad ylthgils neeb dah roolf moorhtab eht fi :mih kcurts thguoht elbirret a sa deppots neht dna llah eht otni dellor eH .ssenissalg lufituaeb a rednu gniraeppasid saw niap eht won tub ,niap htiw maercs mih edam evah dluow tnemevom a hcus ,erofeB .esruoc-ffo gnirednaw t'nsaw eh erus ekam ot yllanoisacco flesmih dniheb gnicnalg ,moorhtab eht ssorca riahcleehw eht dekcab ylwols eH .lla ta snoitpo larom on htiw lamina dekcar-niap a otni mih denrut dah ehs - tsrow eht fo motpmys a ylerus saw noitangiser siht ,mih ot enod dah ehs lla fo dnA .enod dah eh tahw tub gnihton enod evah dluoc eh taht gnidnatsrednu eht tsael ta htiw meht ecaf dluoc eh ,tnemhsinup ,secneuqesnoc erew ereht fI .ti teg dna moor sih epacse ot deganam wohemos dah eh dna ,noitacidem eht dedeen dah eh - noitangiser fo esnes a tub raef gnirb ton did egdelwonk sihT .deneppah dah tahw yaw enacra emos ni ezilaer yletaidemmi dna ereh ni ecnalg lausac eno ekat thgim ehS .deziromem ylluferac xob hcae fo noitisop eht dah evah thgim dna ,citoruen peed eht fo ssenerawa denethgieh eht dah ehS .lla ta ton ,ho ,dekool dah yeht sa modnar sa eb ton thgim sexob fo selip eht taht wenk eh tub erus yletelpmoc eb ton dluoc dna niap fo ezah a hguorht meht ta gnikool neeb dah eh hguohtla - meht nees tsrif dah eh nehw dah yeht sa tuoba mih ot dekool yehT .snotrac eht ta ecnalg lanif a koot eH .ton did eh ,tcaf fo rettam a sA ?ybab-luaP ,gninraw cihparg erom a deen uoy oD .yakO .hsinimid ot nageb neht . . . ylsseldne dellews dnuos ehT .ni nrut ro ssap ot rac eht rof detiaw dna mih fo tnorf ni tuo ylffits kcuts sgel nekorb sih dna pal sih ni lirvoN fo sexob elpmas eht htiw riahcleehw eht ni tas eH .nekcihc a ekil kcen sih gnurw ehs erofeb gnihtemos ro pom radeC-O eht htiw ecno reh kcahw dluoc eh ebyaM .emit ni moordeb eht ot kcab gniht dezisrevo ,yklab siht revuenam ot elba eb reven dluow eH .ti fo dne eht saw taht dna dewercs saw eh ,einnA saw ti fI .ssenthgit ykcinap htiw meht deppirg dna riahcleehw eht fo smra eht ot deppord sdnah siH .ediw seye ,pu denethgiarts eH .gnimoc saw rac A .tesolc nenil eht otni kcab xob eht deppils dna spalf eht dedlofer eH .xob eht otni dereep tsrif eh nehw dah ti naht retleks-retleh ssel ro erom on kool dluow tluser eht gnipoh ,dnuora selttob dna sexob gniniamer eht derrits eH .erom gnikat morf flesmih niartser ot dah eH .seluspac ytriht fo latot a - sexob eht fo evif koot eH .denots gnieb yojne ot emit on evah uoY .toidi ,gnivom teG .ti tuoba ragluv yltcefrep eb ot detnaw uoy fi ,xif sih nettog dah eH .sgel sih no gnikrow tsuj t'nsaw noitacidem eht dezilaer eh dna ,dnuos deveiler ,llirhs a ,siht ta delggig eH .ylppus eht ta yawa gnilbbin neeb dah nodlehS luaP deman esuom elttil a gnizilaer reh tuohtiw ekat ot elba eb thgim eh sexob elpmas eht fo ynam woh etaluclac ot gniyrt ,notrac eht otni dekool eH ".egassem eht teg I .yako - thgir llA" - won kcab semoc ehs fI .ymehpsalb dna tliug fo senotrednu htiw ,gninethgirf osla tey dna . . . emosewa ,thguoht eguh a saw tI .ti nekat dna pu dehcaer tsuj dah ro - sedit eht dna noom eht fo lortnoc nevig neeb dah eh fi sa saw tI .sllip eht gnikat naht tnatropmi erom neve saw ,demees ti ,sllip eht gnivah - ti leef did eh ,feiler yna gnileef eb ot noos oot saw ti wenk eh hguohtlA .denethgirf dna ytfarc seye ,enobtsaerb sih no nwod nihc ,ylkciuq dnuora dekool eH .htruof a delbbog dna ,teehs enahpollec detalitum rieht ni desacne tfel erew taht evif eht ta derats ,detlah eH .etsat rettib ylgnisiurb eht fo erawa ylerab ,seluspac eht fo eerht pu dewehc dna hteet sih htiw trapa enahpollec eht erot eH .debbos luaP "!ni si rotcod eht ,suseJ raed hO" .dias xob eht ,NOITPIRCSERP S'NAICISYHP TUOHTIW DESNEPSID EB OT TON .sretsilb elttil rieht ni desolcne ,sruoh xis yreve mih evag ehs seluspac eht - was dna nepo eno dewalc eH .sexob detnias raed ylevol O .sexob raeD .sexob ylevoL .sexob elpmas fo snezod dna snezod dna snezoD .lirvoN dnA .muilaV .muirbiL .xelpmoC esohproM dna esohproM .dnuopmoC novraD .tecovraD .novraD .gniees saw eh tahw tiderc ot elba yldrah saw dna ti denepo eH .notrac dnoces a gans ot elba saw eh ,tfel sih ot raf gninaeL - paeh-knuj maddog a ekil dekool ecalp eht ,thgir lla eb dluohS .neeb dah ti ecalp emas eht ni ti ecalper ot troffe nekot a ylno gnikam ,tesolc nenil eht otni kcab ti devohs dna desolc notrac eht fo spalf eht dehsup eH .lirvoN oN "?lirvoN gnikcuf eht s'erehw ,lirvoN" .debborht dna dednuop sgel sih dna ecaf sih nwod nar taews elihw xob eht hguorht yldliw gnikar ,derettum eh ",lirvoN" .fo draeh reven dah eh srehtO .wenk eh ,efil sih fo sraey eerht tsal eht gnirud nekat dah rehtaf sih gurd noisnetrepyh eht ,rosserpoL dna mirtoM ekil ,emoS .esool dnuora dellor ,sroloc tnereffid ,seluspac dna sllip wef a mottob eht tA .SELPMAS dekram sexob llams ni meht fo tsom ,notrac eht ni sgurd fo elbmuj dliw a saw erehT .ti morf raF .selpmas novA on ,oopmahs oN .spalf eht denepo dna ,tuo ti deggard ,sexob eht fo eno rof delbmuf eH - ro rehtom detnias dlo raed reh fo serutcip ro snopmat reh ro oopmahs artxe fo ehcac reh eb ti tel t'nod doG esaelP .gnirac ton ,flesmih gnitruh ,ylhguor riahcleehw eht denrut eH .SLACITUECAMRAHP MAC dellebal erew emoS .YLIL dellebal erew emoS .NHOJPU dellebal erew emoS .snotrac draobdrac erauqs fo rebmun a erew roolf eht no dna roolf eht ta dekool eh woN .slewot dna shtolchsaw dna sesac-wollip dna steehs dedlof fo skcats rieht htiw sevlehs eht ni nekat dah ecnalg yrosruc tsrif siH .denediw seye siH .deppots ylneddus htaerb dipar sih dna ,niaga tesolc nenil eht otni gnikool saw eH - rb gnikcuf a tsuj ,kaerb a ,noitaripsni ,gnihtyna ,gnihtemos rof gnikool ,moor eht gninnoc erew seye sih sraet eht hguorht neve tub . . . sraet otni tsrub eh nehT ".daed eht morf kcab reh gnirb ot cinot a rof gnikool yb deppord ehs reh llet ll'I" .dekaorc eh ",yresiM saw ti reh llet ll'I" ?neht tahw ,ssem eht sees dna kcab semoc ehs nehw oS .nwod kconk uoy tahw kcab gnittup fo yaw on evah uoy ,tenibac enicidem rieht ni gnihtemos ro epocS ro eniretsiL fo elttob a tsael ta sah enoyreve ,ecnahc taf ,selttob on era ereht fi neve dna kaerb lliw selttob eht tuB .nisab eht otni tuo ffuts fo hcnub a kconk tsuj neht dna rood tenibac enicidem eht nepo yrP .dluoc uoy sseug I ,lleW ?yllaeR ?taht esu ot gniog uoY .elop eulb gnol a no renroc eht ni ylffits gninael pom radeC-O na was dna rood s'tenibac enicidem eht nepo ot esu dluoc eh gnihtemos rof dnuora dekool dna yawa ti delliw eH .derewol duolc yarg ehT .gnitnap ,kcab denael neht dna ,dnah sih derewol ,esion delffab ,dednuow a edam luaP .gnihctac fo ecnahc on yletulosba dah eh llab nur-emoh a rof yletarepsed gnihcaer redleiftuo na ekil dekool eH .leurc os eb dluoc reveohW ro doG ro etaF eveileb ot elbanu ,yawyna dehcaer tub siht ees dluoc eH .sregnif sih fo spit eht evoba sehcni enin doog a saw ti ,deniarts eh hcum woh rettam oN .hcaer fo tuo saw tI .dnatshsaw eht revo tenibac enicidem eht ot noitnetta sih denrut neht dna - mih nevig dah ehs shtab-egnops eht morf htob htiw railimaf saw eh - shtolchsaw dna slewot eulb fo selip taen eht ta ylfeirb dezag eH .nepo gnidnats rood sti htiw tesolc nenil eht dna ,nisab eht ,but eht ylno saw ereht ereH .napdeb eht fo esu sih dewollof syawla sehsulf sriatspu esoht fo eno ,ti fo thguoht eh taht won dna ,sriatspu morf emac sdnuos gnihsulf ylno eht - taht detcepsus ydaerla dah eh tub ,ereh ni teliot on saw erehT .ebyam ,losyL - slatipsoh htiw detaicossa yllacitamotua eh taht ruos gnihtemos dellems eH .selit eht revo ylhtooms dellor sleehw rebbur drah s'riahc eht neht dna ,letnil eht revo depmub luaP .gnisiar-riah ssel egassap sih ekam ot hguone tub ,hcum ton - rediw saw yawrood siht tsael tA .maerd a neeb ylno dah enihcam sulituaN eht no tuo gnikrow dna gniggoj dna spal gniod tneps emit taht lla fi sa ,kcab saw dik ynup eht dna dilavni na fo selcsum eht won erew selcsum sih tub ,tluda na sa flesmih fo erac doog ylbanosaer ekat ot deirt dah eh os dna dik ynup a neeb dah eH .noitsuahxe htiw gnilbmert erew smra sih won tub ,rood eht ecaf dna dnuora riahc eht gniws ot mih rof hguone ediw saw llah ehT .pot citsalp sti ees dluoc eh - but eht ni saw tekcub-roolf ehT .tenibac enicidem a saw knis eht revO .knis a saw but eht morf ssorcA .tesolc nenil a saw ti ediseB .teef dewalc no doots stecuaf eht woleb gnidaerps snaf ytsur htiw buthtab A .selit etihw lanogaxeh htiw deroolf moor eretsua na was eh ,ni gnikooL .moorhtab eht ot nwod riahcleehw eht dellor dna ,dias eh ",hguone eurT" .lla-kcuf wonk t'nod yeht ,nwod hcuot ll'yeht erehw dna nehw yltcaxe gnillet ot semoc ti nehw tub ,sgninraw odanrot tsop nac uaeruB rehtaeW eht ,dneirf ,ti wonk t'ndid uoy esac nI .won morf sdnoces evif ni gnillup eekorehC taht raeh thgim uoy rO .emit siht ythgie yawa yats thgim ehs dnA .did ehs oS .erofeb sruoh ytfif yawa deyats ehS .tnelis yletanitsbo saw kcolc eht tub ,saw eh thgir ot esolc woh tsuj mih llet dna emihc dluow kcolc eht dehsiw eH .thgilnoom ekil dekool tI .rethgirb nworg ,degnahc dah rood moorhtab nepo-flah eht hguorht gninnaf thgil eht fo ytilauq ehT .lla ta emitynA .emityna kcab emoc dluoc ehS .gninraw a - maerd a toN .maerd eht dezingocer ydaerla dah dnim sih ;esruoc fo ,ereht t'nsaw ehs tuB .tsalb nugtohs eht gnitcepxe ,dekrej eH

    .sremmah htob kcab dellup ehS ".uoy ot ti tnarg ot yppah eb ll'I" ,dias einnA ",luaP ,yldab os modeerf ruoy tnaw uoy fI" .hteet reh no enohs tipS .ylsuoiruf derettilg seye reH .mih ta nugtohs a gnitniop saw ehs was dna seye sih denepo eH .ezad sih fo tuo mih dellac eciov eH

    .niaga tuo deyarg eh ,did eh retfA .hguorht teg ot elba saw eh tub ,doow eht tsniaga dellauqs sleehw eht fo spac-elxa ehT .sdnah sih ni rood eht fo sbmaj eht barg ot hguone drawrof gninael neht dna yawrood eht ni ylerauqs flesmih gninoitisop yb - ylerab - hguorht ezeeuqs ot elba saw eh dne eht nI .yliraerd mih demrofni dnim sih ,tsrif ta trac gnippohs a saw ti thguoht uoy yhw s'taht ,despalloc ni ti thguorb ehS .hcum oot sehcni owt saw taht tub ,ediw oot sehcni owt naht erom on saw tI .tif ot gniog ton saw riahcleehw eht demees ti nehw tnemom - elbirroh ,elbirret ;dab tsuj ton ,on - dab a dah eH

    .rood eht ta tohs thgiarts a teg dluoc eh os riahcleehw eht gnillif dna gnikcab fo boj gniniard ,gnol eht nageb dna ,dekaorc eh ",renraW ,won toN" .sreehc suorednuht otni ekorb - emoh ta gnihctaw snoillim dlotnu eht noitnem ot ton - muidatS sekliW einnA ni sdnasuoht eht sa dnim sih ni yltnatluxe demaercs floW renraW !epatoediv eht ot og s'teL ".uoy knaht ,suseJ" .derepsihw eh ",suseJ" .regnif leets a ekil etalp eht fo tuo gnikcits kcol eht fo eugnot eht htiw nepo gnigniws ylwols saw rood eht taht was eh erofeb eruliaf sih redisnoc ot tnemom llud a dah eh dna ,ni gnillaf kcol eht ni trap eht ,owt ni ekorb nip eht sa pans a saw erehT .rood eht ta devohs dna ,bonk eht denrut ,dluoc eh sa drah sa drawpu dehsup eh noitarepsed ni dna ,gnineppah ti tlef eH .pils dna dneb ot gnitrats ylsuoenatlumis saw nip ehT - hsup a - emarfrood eht deraelc ti tnatsni eht tsuJ .rohpatem s'drofywT moT esu ot ,riahc gnikcor eht nrutrevo ot deen on - on ,doG doog ,yaw eht lla og ot ti rof deen oN .tcarter ot nigeb eugnot s'kcol eht ees dluoc eh ;evocla elttil ytsud sti ni evom ot gninnigeb rekcor eht ees dluoc eh dnim sih nI . . . erom elttil a . . . erom elttil A .nip-ybbob eht ot erusserp eltneg ylppa ot nageb dna ,ti od ot mra thgir sih rednu gnihcaer ,dnah tfel sih htiw bonkrood eht depsarg eH .looc yats ot drah saw ti ,yldab siht truh uoy nehW .looc yats tsuJ .luaP ,esuoM yekciM yltcirts s'tI .ecalp ni mih gnidloh ,ecalp ni ti gnidloh ,kcol eht fo eugnot eht gnisserp ,riahc gnikcor a fo toof devruc eht ekil ereht ni gniyl ti ees dluoc eH !relbmut ehT !ecnatsiser saw ereH !woN .kcol eht ni nip eht fo elttar etunim eht ot yldiva denetsil eh sa gnidaf eciov s'retsacstrops eht ,seye sih desolc eH )". . . tnelis nellaf sah dworc ehT .tohs tsal sih eb ot tog sah siht tub ,yadot yllacioreh demrofrep sah nodlehS ,skloF"( ".gniksa m'I lla s'taht ,dik eht rof kaerb elttil a tsuJ ?yas uoy od tahw ,doG esaelP" .niaga ni ti gnidils ,dias eh ",doG esaelP" .seirt eerht ro owt rehtona retfa kaerb dluow ti taht thguoht eH .dneb ot gnitrats saw nip-ybbob ehT .ti evom ot nigeb naht erom od dluoc eh erofeb kcab deppans relbmut eht dna ffo deppils nip-ybbob eht semit htob tub ,eciwt relbmut eht dah eH .kcab pans nac ti erofeb ,kciuq pac-sag eht nepo neht dna pu relbmut eht edilS .siht ekil kcol a htiw od ot tog uoy lla s'taht dnA .ti ot gnihton . . . revo thgir rehtom eht pilf dna srekcor eht barg tsuJ ?thgit ,dlrow eht ni gniht tseisaE ?revo riahc gnikcor a nrut ot tnaw uoY .etartsnomed ot dnah sih gniwasees ,dias dah drofywT moT ,rekcor a tub gnihton si kcol paehc a ni relbmut ehT .tlef eh ,erom neve tub . . . denetsil eH .lio ekil ecaf sih nwod ylidaets nar taewS .noitca eht debircsed )!diviv os( dnim sih ni retsacstrops eht sa gninetsil ,elohyek eht otni ti deppils dna nip eht htiw ydob sih ssorca dehcaer eH .EKAHS TON LLIW UOY .thguoht taht dloH .ekahs ton lliw uoY .dnah thgir sih ni ti gnidloh dna ti gnidnebnu ,thguoht eh ,woN .pu ti gnikcip erofeb semit lareves dnah thgir sih fo sregnif eht dexelf eh emit sihT .riahcleehw eht fo smra eht ssorca draob eht no saw nip-ybbob ehT .tib ynit a detaba evah ot demees - eenk tfel sih fo ynoga gnitaicurcxe eht rof tpecxe - niap ehT .emit dnoces siht regnol tuo saw eh thguoht eh ,erus rof gnillet fo yaw on dah eh hguohtlA .niaga tuo deyarg neht dna tsif eno ni ti depsalc eH .llaf dluoc ti erofeb tsuj ti revo dnah a deppalc dna ,ylesraoh deirc eh "!oN" .egde eht drawot derettiks neht dna draob eht otno sregnif sih fo tuo dellips tI .nip-ybbob eht depsarg eH .saw ti thguoht eH ?enicidem sih mih gnivig erofeb morf emac syawla ehs ecalp eht osla ti t'nsaw dna ,)knurd yllacitsaisuhtne dah eh hcihw morf tekcub-roolf eht dellif dah ehs emit eht gnidulcni( ereht ni retaw hguone gninnur reh draeh dah eh - moorhtab sriatsnwod eht ylerus tsomla saw tahT .denekciuq taebeslup s'luaP .raja doots hcihw rood a saw ,yawllah eht nwod yawflah ,tfel sih oT .edahs sti morf gnignah slessat htiw pmal a ,lairetam ralimis ni deretslohpu navid denoihsaf-dlo na ,roolf eht no gur der-krad a :rolrap eht ylraelc saw tahw ot nwod gnidael yawllah trohs a ees dluoc eH .ti hguorht dekool dna - naorg gnikrab elgnis a tuo gnivig - riahcleehw eht ni tib a nwod dils eH .etalpyek dehsinrat a fo elddim eht ni tes ,sgniward dnalrednoW ni ecilA s'leinneT nhoJ fo luaP gnidnimer ,tros denoihsaf-dlo eht saw elohyek ehT .rood eht gnihcuot tsomla leehw tfel eht htiw ,ti detnaw eh erehw yltcaxe riahcleehw eht teg ot gnillif dna gnikcab fo setunim sseldne evif luaP koot tI .nip-ybbob a si deen yllaer uoy llA .esuoM yekciM yltcirts era skcol pac-sag tsom esuaceb ,gniod er'uoy tahw wonk uoy fi toN ?melborp a siht sI .pac-sag gnikcol a tog sah noitanod eerf eht rof kcip uoy rac eht tub ,esoh a tog uoY .sag no wol elttil a er'uoy tub ,rac a tog uoY .lla ta rac a laets ot tnaw t'nod uoy yas s'tel ,oga sraey flah a dna owt emos kroY weN ni yad gnirps a no dias dah moT ,rO .mrala ralgrub rac a tuo trohs ot woh ,rood rac a no kcol eht knay ot smiJ milS dellac seveiht-rac latem fo pirts rebmil dna niht eht esu ot woh ,noitingi na eriw-toh ot woh mih nwohs dah moT .drofywT moT deman poc-xe dlo hguot a htiw yreveiht-rac fo scinahcem eht deiduts dah luaP ,sraC tsaF gnitirw rof noitaraperp sih fo trap sA .feiht-rac a neeb dah ,hsa fo sekalf denekcalb ynam os ylno won saw ohw ,orasanoB ynoT .ti kcolnu ot elba eb thgim eh deveileb eh tub ,ti dekcol dah ehS .rood eht ot ssorca ylwols riahcleehw eht gnillor ,niaga gnivom tog eH .sekliW einnA ,thgiewyvaeh emit-lla taht si ereh pu wohs ot gniog s'taht fle ylno eht - eiluaP ,gnitiaw pots oS .haeY ".sevlesmeht pleh ohw esoht spleh doG tub ,sevle eb yam ereht ,seiriaf eb yam erehT" :noitatnacni na sa tsomla ,won duola meht fo eno ekops luaP ,daeherof sih ot deretsalp riah ,taews htiw ynihs ecaf ,kcab nworht daeh ,ereht gnittiS .dah ehS .seY ?ehs t'ndid ,oot ,sgniyas wef a dah rehtom nwo ruoy tub ,rehtom reh gnitouq syawla s'ehS .t'now tI ?yawa og ot niap eht rof gnitiaw uoy erA .elihwa retfa yliraew dedlocs dnim sih fo trap ?gniod uoy era tahW .dessap taht tub ,ekup ot gniog saw eh erus etiuq saw eh elihwa roF .smra s'riahc eht ssorca draob eht no gniyl nip-ybbob eht ,wolla dluow riahcleehw eht fo kcab gnisimorpmoC cnu eht sa raf sa detlit daeh sih ,elihwa rof tnap dna tis naht erom on od dluoc eh dehsilpmocca saw tca eht nehw dna ,niap fo hguols hserf a thguorb pu gninethgiartS .tsif sih ni dekcol saw ti neht dna . . . ti tsol tsomla . . . ti dezeewt . . . sregnif sih neewteb nip-ybbob eht dehcnip eH .roolf eht no dettaps dna pit sti morf nar elttips fo spord elttiL .edahs-wodniw a no llup eht ekil hteet sih neewteb nwod thgiarts eugnot sih ,nepo saw htuom sih ,gniglub erew seye siH .sgel rewol sih ni niap eht ta niaga demaercs dna ,thgir eht ot depmuls llits ,riahc eht ni nwod dils luaP .yawa hcni na fo retrauq a ti gnihsup ni ylno dedeeccus tub nip eht dehsurb sregnif siH .niap eht fo etips ni rehtraf depmuls eH - em pleh esaelp esaelp doG hO .yllej-enob etihw eliv emos fo triuqs a ni drawtuo edolpxe ylpmis thgim ti fi sa tlef yllaer pih thgir sih dna ,nip-ybbob eht evoba tsuj htrof dna kcab gnihsurb ,roolf eht morf hcni na gnuh llits sregnif sih fo spit ehT .yawyna mih raeh ot eno on saw ereht ,dias ehs sA .gnimaercs dna yaw gnivig neht dna - noitcapmi htoot a ot ralimis gnihtemos ,erusserp fo elbbub gnisaercni na ekil tlef taht niap - edis thgir sih ni niap eht erongi ot gniyrt tsrif ta ,riahcleehw eht ni thgir eht ot hcuols flesmih tel eH .ton ebyam ,lleW ".sdne lla ti erehw si siht diarfa m'I tub ,troffe cit-sat-naf a neeb s'ti - sklof ,nip taht teg nac eh kniht t'nod I" .trihs amajap sih gninekrad dna kcen dna ecaf sih nwod gninnur taews eht fo erawanu ,pil sih tib eH .yal mih degrahc ehs sa riah reh morf nellaf dah taht snip-ybbob eerht ro owt eht fo eno erehw ,roolf eht fo trohs sehcni eerht raelc a deppots sregnif sih fo spit eht tub ,nwod dehcaer eH .ti ot revo dellor dna rood eht raen ti was eH .seye sih detcerid taht kcab eht saw ti ;niap eht tuoba wenk ylno dnim sih fo tnorf ehT "!dik nodlehS siht fo stug eht eveel-eb tonnac tsuj I !niaga gniog teg ot gniyrt s'eH" :daeh sih ni retsacstrops taht fo eciov gnidaog ,mid eht gniraeh ,retal setunim evif ytilaer ot kcab maws eH .tuo deyarg eh ,ti enod d'eh ecnO .tuo flesmih nethgiarts ot gnippots erofeb teef evif dellor eh emit sihT .niaga gnivom riahc eht tog dna sleehw htob depsarg eH .detovip ylwols riahcleehw eht dna ,hteet dettirg sih morf kcab gnileep spil ,yllej ekil gnireviuq selcsum ybbalf won dna gnorts ecno ,nwod erob eH .ecim fo seirc eht ,roolf nedoow eht no yletunim dekaeuqs rebbuR .dluoc eh sa drah sa ti no nwod erob dna )sllip eht fo feiler eht fo kniht ,sllip eht fo kniht( ,gniredduhs ,leehw thgir eht depsarg eH .ti nrut dluoc eh sselnu remoc raf eht otni dna rood eht tsap riahcleehw eht llor naht lufesu erom gnihton od ot gniog saw eh gnizilaer erofeb teef ruof tuoba deganam dah eH .evom ot nageb riahc eht ylwols yreV .evom did riahc eht tuB .sekips gnitniop-drawni ,toh htiw dedduts stleb ekil sgel sih gnihcnic ,repeed ni knis ot sgel sih ni dna tsiaw sih woleb erif fo dnab eht desuac gnivoM .lla saw tahT .eid dluow eh ro pu emac ti sa melborp hcae htiw laed dluow eH .niap eht dniheb swodahs ylno erew sgniht eseht ,lla ta ton derettam sgniht eseht . . . mih hctac dna kcab emoc thgim ehs ecnahc eht . . . erehwemos neddih tub desimrus dah eh sa moorhtab sriatsnwod eht ni eb ton thgim epod eht ytilibissop eht . . . rood moordeb dekcol ehT .gnivom mih tog hcihw ,esuoh eht ni erehwemos tpek ehs taht lirvoN eht ,sllip eht fo thguoht eht ylno saw tI .snomed yb dessessop gnieb ekil si tI .eno oN .dlrow eht ni siht fo ezis eht niap si ereht swonk eno oN .tnadnuder semoceb niap fo noissucsid yrev eht nehw tniop a semoc erehT :thguoht eH .dlrow eht fo dne eht ekil saw niap ehT .pots ton dluow gniredduhs ehT .spil sih ffo sraet dna tlas fo erutxim a dekcil eH .seye sih gnuts dna daeherof sih nwod nar taewS "!yalper eht ta kool s'teL !gnivom s'tI !si ti ,sey . . . eveileb I tub ,koot eh wolb eht retfa gnivom riahcleehw taht gnitteg fo ecnahc tset-yls eht dah eh thguoht - rettam taht rof ,ecneidua gniweiv emoh eht ni ro - muidatS sekliW einnA ni enoyna eveileb t'nod I" .gnisuhtne saw daeh s'nodlehS luaP ni retsacstrops eht !yadot gniyalpsid si dik nodlehS siht stug eht eveileb tonnac tsuj I" ?epoD eht rof nuR ?yawyna ,taht ekil trops a llac uoy dluow tahW .spahrep ,llabtooF thgiN yadnoM rof noitutitsbus lairt a - tneve gnitrops egnarts emos saw mih dellik niap eht erofeb ylppus gurd reh ta teg ot troffe sih fi sa ,enecs eht gnibircsed - tsoM ynnhoJ yzarc emit-lla taht spahrep ro floW renraW ro llesoC drawoH - retsacstrops citsaisuhtne yldam emos raeh ot demees eh ylmiD .noitavreserp-fles rof barg gnireggats lanif a naht erom gnihton saw did eh tahw tcaf ni tub - meht tel ylbaborp dluow eh dnA .msioreh fo stca sa txen did eh hcihw sgniht esoht eurtsnoc ylbaborp dluow ,ytisrevrep gniliafnu sti ni ,dlrow eht taht retal thguoht eH

    .ydob sih hguorht gnivar dna ekawa ylluf won saw hcihw ,niap eht dna sraet sih htiw tfel saw eh dna rehtien did doG dna daor eht nwod ffo dedaf enigne eht fo raor ehT ".em llik ro siht fo tuo em tel . . . em llik ro siht fo tuo em tel - esaelp ,doG ,esaelP" .raor a dna gnab a htiw edistuo detrats eekorehC eht sa denaom eh ",esaelp ,doG ,esaelP" .niap fo avon etihw-eulb elbirret taht ni dewollaws saw eh niaga dna niaga ,rab kao na no gniremmah knurd yrgna na fo ecrof eht lla htiw eenk sih fo sniamer eht no nwod tsif reh gnignirb reh was eh niaga dna niaga ,moor eht ssorca gniylf reh was eh niaga dna niagA .skeehc sih nwod demaerts sraeT .ti pleh ot elba ton ,truh ti esuaceb ekahs ot ton gniyrt ,revo lla gnikahs ,riahc eht ni kcab denael eH .kcol eht fo kcilc eht saw ereht nehT .esuoh eht ekahs ot hguone drah rood moordeb eht gnimmals ,tfel ehS ".repap eidoodakcoc ruoy gnitteg nwot ni m'I elihw ,luaP ,taht tuoba knihT .thgir era yeht dna ,ti htiw yawa tog I kniht yehT" .yltfos dias ehs ",esle gnihtemos uoy llet ll'I" .ylediw erom nirg reh edam taht dna ,egrahc ekil-llub rehtona fo noitapicitna ni ,did ehs nehw niaga demaercs eh dna ,niaga denrut dna rood eht ot kcab deklaw ehS ".tneconni em dnif did yeht fi neve ,did ehs tahw wonk lla yeht ,yzarc si sekliW einnA wonk lla yeht esuaceb ereh spots eno oN .uoy raeh nac eno on esuaceb ,ot tnaw uoy fi maercs uoy dna ereht tis uoY .em kcirt ot yrt ro yldab evaheb uoy fi uoy truh ot od nac I sgniht eht lla dna ,ereh egrahc ni si ohw tuoba kniht uoy dna" ,sutcir gninnirg taht ni kcab dellup spil ,dias ehs ",ereht tis tsuj uoy oS" .xob draobdrac ytpme na detfil evah thgim eh sa latem daed fo thgiew sti gnitfil ,letnam eht no nwod ti demmals dna draob eht ffo retirwepyt eht erot ehS .avon a fo retnec eht ni ,tnaidar yletihw ,mih deduorhs dna eenk sih morf tuo tsrub niaP .daeherof sih no dna kcen sih ni tuo gnidnats sniev ,delwoh dna kcab daeh sih werht eH .eenk tfel s'nodlehS luaP neeb dah taht emod-tlas dehcnub eht no nwod tsif reh thguorb dna ,demaercs ehs "!hhhay-eeeeeG" .llaw eht no yldethgirffa dekcarc ehpmoirT ed crA eht fo erutcip ehT .senoB fo yellaV eht otni gnidirts htailoG fo daert eht ekil saw ti ;tnelis ton saw egassap reh woN .pu ti dleh taht snip-ybbob eht morf esool emac ti sa ecaf reh dnuora delggoj dna decnuob riah reH .snotsip ekil ria moorkcis elats eht ni htrof dna kcab gnippohc swoble ,gnixelf seenk ,gnipmup sgel kciht ,mih ta moor eht ssorca dehsur ehS ?enasni saw rotpac s'eno nehw edazarehehcS yalp ylbissop eno dluoC ?eh daH ?dnah reppu eht deniag dah eh thguoht eh daH .mih llik thgim rorret sih fo ytimertxe eht thguoht luaP tnemom a roF .dlihc yrgna ylenasni na fo ecnanetnuoc eht saw hguorht enohs tahw dna derettahs ycarudbo ynots ehT .trapa ekorb ecaf reh ylnedduS ".wols ton ma I dna ,luaP ,diputs ton ma I tuB .diputs dna wols kool I wonk I ;em kcirt ro ,em loof nac uoy kniht yam uoY .htiw uoy evael ot ekil dluow I thguoht eno si erehT" .worb reh fo flehs eht rednu evila ylluf erew ,semid dehsinrat esoht ,seye reh ylnO .ecaf ynots taht htiw mih ta gnikool ,denrut neht dna rood eht ot devom ehS ".luaP ,oN" " - tsuj ll'uoy fi trats nac I ,yllaer ,einnA" ".dehs eht ni kcab ti tup ot evah ll'I .egdirf eht ni gnillihc engapmahc dah I .dab ooT .niap eht fo esuaceB .niaga pu tis ot elba era uoy erofeb syad eerht sa gnol sa eb yam ti ,seY .eerht neve spahrep . . . owt ro . . . yad a rof muteR s'yresiM fo trats lautca eht ffo tup ot evah yam ew tcepsus I hguohtlA" .denediw elims evila-daed reH .ti pleh t'ndluoc tub ot ton deirt eH .dehcnilf eH .riah sih dehcuot sregnif reH .seohs "esrun etihw tnelis reh ni edis sih ot deppils dna ,ekil-teppup yleuqsetorg saw taht spil eht fo gnillup a ,delims ehS ".deb ruoy ni kcab uoy tup ot emit ekat ot gniog neve ton m'I os dna" )wonk reve dluow ehs naht etah-fles erom ,deveileb luaP ,dna( msacras gnikoms ,esnetni htiw sdrow tsal eseht ekops ehs " - edis ym no er'uoy ecnis ,nac uoy sa noos sa detrats teg ot tnaw uoy wonk I" .dias ehs ",won nwot ot gniog m'I" .semid dehsinrat ekil derettilg seye reH .ksam a ekil ecaf reh derevoc kool etarudbo ,ynots tahT .mih ot kcab denrut dna teksabetsaw eht otni htob dessot ehS .llab a otni ti delpmurc dna senil degdums owt eht htiw teehs eht dehctans neht ,dnoB elbasarroC fo egakcap eht koot ehS ".loot dab a htiw krow doog a trats ot yrt dluow nosrep yllis a ylnO" " - yawyna etirwer ot evah ll'I ,lla retfa - htiw trats ot hguone doog si elbasarroC ehT" .tsaf gnikaeps ,dias eh ",taht od ot evah t'nod uoY" .deirruh ehs fi neve ,kcab tog ehs emit eht yb suortsnom eb dluow niap eht ;truh ydaerla gnittiS .llew sa ,emit siht pu gnittis dna ,niaga noitacidem sih tuohtiw mih evael ot tnaem ehs taht gnidnatsrednu ,demrala ,reh ta dekool eH .ylneddus pu gnitteg ,dias ehs ",won thgir og ll'I" ".etirwer dna etirw ,boj elohw eht od ot hguone eb dluohs ti dna ,elbasarroC fo egakcap eno siht naht ssel tsoc lliw oemim fo smaer owT .medoM dairT si os ;dnarb doog a si dnoB llimremmaH .oemim niarg-gnol etihw fo smaer owt rof ksA" ?gnikniht lufhsiw ylno ti si rO ?gnihtyna deniag I evah tuB !deniag ev'uoy gnihtyreve esol t'nod - ekas s'doG rof ,looc peeK .ti tuoba gninialpmoc saw ereht nwod noitacolsid eht dna ,ruoh na ylraen rof pu gnittis neeb dah eh - sivlep sih fo aera eht morf ylduol- erom neve gnikaeps saw ti dna ,niaga sgel sih nwod dna pu rettum ot nugeb dah niap ehT .llits suovren erom gnimoceb ,dias eh ",ton er'uoy wonk I" ".luaP ,diputs ton m'I .taht wonk I" " - steehs derdnuh evif fo egakcap a si maer a - smaer owt ekil d'uoy meht llet uoY .hctaP repaP eht ,seY" ".hctaP repaP ehT" " - ot og uoy erots ylppus-ssenisub siht nI" "?dnik tahW .repap ruoy uoy teg ll'I uoy dlot ydaerla I" .dias ehs ",eromyna klat ot evah t'nod uoY" .hsidlihc saw ti sa euqapo sa saw hcihw noisserpxe wen siht ni gnihtemos saw ereht tub ,egar reh etaluclac dluoc eH .suovren mih edam tI .ycarudbo fo kool suoitatnetso tsomla siht ,ssenhsilum siht ekil ton did eH .ecaf reh otno emoc dah kool ynots ddo nA .ti revo taolg dna nwod ti ekaT .sruoh wef yreve ebyam ,yad yreve nwod ti ekat ot tnaw d'ehS .on ,tsirhC ?ehs dluow ,taht tnaw t'ndluow ehs tuB ".flehs eht no ti tup tsuj uoy ,esruoc fo ,sselnU .os ro sraey net ni srepap knalb fo hcnub a tub gnihton evah ot gniog er'uoy ,elbasarroC no eno siht etirw I fi dna ,einnA ,emit gnol a tsal dluohs koob a tuB .noitide oilof doog a ekil skooL .emosdnah denmad eb nac tpircsunam dnuob A" .dias eh ",rehtie ,aedi eht htiw gnorw gnihtoN" " . . . seciovni eht fo snobrac eht pu kool em tel tsuJ . . . selif eht ni ereh sserdda dna eman reh tog ev'I ,etunim a tsuJ .yrots draggaH rediR .H a ni lodi enots a ekil fo tros dekooL .namow gib a saw ehs ,lleW ?reciffo ,ekil kool ehs did tahW" .eno tsuJ .tpircsunam htgnel-levon a fo ypoc detnirp enO .meht rebmemer dluow retnirp yna reeuq os snoitcurtsni - snoitcurtsni eht rebmemer ylniatrec d'eh dnA ?eh t'nthgim ,deraeppasid flesmih nam eht emit eht dnuora thgir retcarahc suomaf tsom s'nodlehS luaP htiw flesti gninrecnoc tpircsunam htgnel-koob a gniviecer rebmemer thgim retnirp ruoy dna ,gnissim si nodlehS luaP .evian taht ton tub ,gnihsilbup dna skoob fo dlrow eht tuoba evian eb yam uoY .snoitseuq esiar thgim ti ,retnirp a ot tpircsunam eht koot uoy fi esuaceB .teb uoy ,seY ".tnaem I tahw s'taht esruoc fO" "?segap depyt ehT ?tpircsunam eht gnidnib tnaem uoy taht emussa I .ti gnidnib fo ekops uoY .edis s'koob eht no ma I taht eveileb ot elba eb dluohs uoy tsael tA" .niarb yzarc reh decivres taht doolb eht tuo gnittel reverof dna ecno ,taorht reh otni ssalg fo knuhc a gnivohs denigami eh dnim sih ni niaga dna ,retsum dluoc eh ytirecnis eht lla htiw reh ta dekool eH .doog yreV .dooG .seye reh ni ,eveileb ot gnitnaw fo ,ytniatrecnu fo rekcilf a was niaga dna ,yldwerhs reh gnihctaw saw eH ".melborp ruoy s'taht ,efil ym gnivas rof uoy ot lufetarg m'I eveileb t'nac uoy erucesni os er'uoy fI" .dias eh ",neht ,tnaw uoy tahw eveileB" ".oga sraey ytnewt deid rehtom ym ecnis edis ym no neeb sah eno oN .hgual em ekam t'noD" " - edis ruoy no m'I dnatsrednu uoy sa gnol sA" ".ti teg ll'I dna teg ot tahw em llet tsuJ" .ylnellus dias ehs ",repap eidoodakcoc ruoy uoy teg ll'I" " - repap eht fo tcejbus eht ot kcab gniog ,woN" .dias eh ",tniop doog A" .dik siht toN .einnA ,em ton tub ,ytinasni fo nosaer yb ffo uoy tel thgim yruj A .oot ti swonk edisni kcab yaw uoy fo trap a em sllet taht seye ruoy ni rekcilf a ees I neht dna won yreve dnA .dlrow eht dnuora uoy ekat I rallod ruof ,pu thgiarts rallod owT .niaga birc eht ni kcab em kcits dna rac ym dehsarc I nehw kcerw eht fo tuo em llup ot saw did uoy tahW .moderohw fo etats a morf noitarebil ym etarbelec ot tsaoC tseW eht ot gnivird saw I .ti tuoba kniht I taht won ,tuoba saw yresiM hctib denmaddog taht gnillik tahw s'tahT .erohw a gnieb ton tuoba saw sraC tsaF .erohw on m'I .yruf htiw dellif ylneddus ,thguoht eh ,einnA ,oN ".erohw a flesruoy llac llew sa thgim uoY" .ylinots dias ehs ",eb ot thguo uoY" ".yrros m'I" ".taht etah I .ssenisub a ti gnillac yb uoy evag doG tnelat eht trevrep uoy nehW" "?tahw tahw llaC" .delzzup yltsenoh ,reh ta dekool eH ".taht ti llac uoy nehw ti etah I .taht ti llac t'noD" ".stpircsunam nettirw-dnah etah yeht a hcum sa tsomla dnoB elbasarroC no depyt stpircsunam gnidaer etah srotide taht si ssenisub siht ni tuo dnif uoy gniht tsrif eht fo eno ,einnA ,doG yM .etad a ro eman a dnif ot hguorht kcab gnitnuh syawla er'uoY .tol a dnuora detfihs teg ti ,krow ni si tpircsunam a nehw dna" ,dias eh ",syad reve ro skeew fo doirep a revo gnirrulb fo ytnelp hsilpmocca lliw rehto hcae tsniaga segap eht fo tfihs eht tsuJ" "?bmuht ruoy htiw egap yreve bur dna tis ot gniog uoy ereW" ".enil kni-tniopllab eht naht esrow s'ti tub ,enil-licnep taht sa hcum a rulb t'nseod tI" .dias eh ",oot ,rulb lliw kni-nobbiR" "?tahw oS" "?eeS" .nep eht htiw nward dah eh eno eht naht erom ylthgils enil-licnep eht ,gnillevart saw bmuht sih noitcerid eht ni yligdums derrulb senil htoB .repap eht fo ecafrus delffaw ylthgils eht ssorca bmuht sih dils eh nehT .tsrif eht ot lellarap enil rehtona werd dna nep tniopllab a koot eh nehT .repap eht no enif a werd dna licnep deneprahs ylhserf a koot eH teehs a tuo koot dna elbasarroC fo egakcap eht denepo eH ".hctaW" .ylipmurg dias ehs "?tahW" .now edazarehehcS .edazarehehcS saw tI .rehtie ,thgir t'nsi taht tuB .now dah yresiM .thgir t'nsaw taht - oN now I !maddoG :thguoht eh dna draob eht no nwod meht demmals dna slicnep dna snep fo raj eht revo thguorb ehS .yrgna eb ot thgir yna dah ehs fi wonk neve t'ndid won ehs was eh ;erom neve egar reh )desufed suht dna( desuffid dah noisufnoc ehT .egdelwonk tsethgils eht ton dah ehs hcihw fo dlrow "stsilaiceps a ni tsol ,reve naht desufnoc erom dekool ehs - tceffe derised eht dah ti tub ,tnemom eht fo rups eht no pu edam dah eh eil a saw sihT ".retsbeW leinaD retfA .stoP retsbeW meht llac semitemos yeht ,srepapswen nO" .dias eh " ,slicnep dna snep fo raj elttiL" "?tahw ehT" ".esaelp ,uoy htiw toP retsbeW taht gnirB .si melborp eht tahw uoy wohs ll'I ,gnihtemos ta kool a ekat dna ereh emoc uoy fi dnA .ma I esuaceB .thgir s'tahT" " - tub ,on . . . oN" "?trats ot gniog t'nsaw I yas I diD" .dias eh ",yllis s'tahT" " - tI .krow ot gniog ton s'ti tuB .yob hO .dluow uoy wenk I .trats ot ton skcirt pu gnikam er'uoy os dna koob ym etirw ot tnaw t'nod uoY" .dias ehs ",kcirt a s'tI" ".laed gib on si siht" ,yltneitap dias eh ",einnA" .dednuow ,mih ta dekool dna reh deppals dah eh fi sa ezorf ehS ".gniht a egnahc t'now dam gnitteG .taht pots llew sa thgim uoy dnA" :dias eh ,ytilibatirri lausac tsomla tey dna prahs fo eton thgir eht yltcaxe nommus ot yletarepsed gniyrt ,tfel dah eh egaruoc elttil eht pu gnirehtaG .mih dnoyeb eb dluow ehs tnemom a ni taht wenk eh dna ,pu gnideeps esiwekil saw sdnah gnihcnelc reh fo mhtyhr eht ;etalitnevrepyh ot tsomla ,yldipar erom ehtaerb ot gninnigeb saw ehS .ot elba eb reven yam uoy ,yob ym eiluaP ,won thgir hctib siht lleb t'nod uoy fi dnA .hsub yreve dniheb gnikrul er'yeht einnA rof ,snamdyoR fo lluf si dlrow eht einnA rof esuaceb - snamdyoR eht morf flesreh tcetorp ot no retal uoy dellik ro yawa thgir latipsoh eht ot uoy nekat evah dluow ehs ,denosaer mih fo trap siht ,stnaw yldab ehs gnihtemos evah t'ndid uoy fI .erom eht lla mrots dluow ehs ,did eh fI .demrots ehs revenehw yrotacalp dna denethgirf werg eh fi edazarehehcS fo trap eht yalp ton dluoc eh taht mih dednimer hcihw ,dewoc ssel dna gnitaluclac erom ,mih fo trap rehtona saw ereht tuB .ygiffe reh ot ecifircas gnikam yb ,yrgna saw ehs nehw sseddog rieht detacalp evah dluow seirots draggaH rediR esoht- fo eno ni ebirt a sa - saw llits ereht deedni fi emit llits saw ereht elihw reh etacalp ot ,ffo kcab ot mih ta demaercs reh ot ytilibarenluv sih dna reh rof deen siH .ti gnihsauqs dna ria gnihctac ,niaga desolc hctans neht dna nepo ylrebmil gnirps ot nugeb dah sdnah reH .erif gnitnecs lamina na fo slirtson eht ekil ,ylraluger deralf slirtson reH .etihw oot saw worb reH .rallec mrots eht otni meht dreh dna ylimaf sih tcelloc ot enog ecno ta evah dluow eh ,won thgir dekool ecaf s'einnA yaw eht dekool hcihw yks a gnivresbo remraf a neeb dah eh fi dna ,neppah ot gnitiaw seodanrot fo lluf namow a saw ehS .tsewdiM eht ni emitgnirps ekil saw ,revocsid ot emoc dah eh ,reh edisni etamilc ehT ".paehc teg uoy ,paehc yub uoy nehw taht si ,yuG tramS retsiM ,em dlot ehs tahW .ton did ehs ,oN" .wollof dluow yruf reh desseug luaP .noitangidni yb decalper neeb dah ssenevisnefed laitini reH .denekrad worb s'einnA "?tseb eht syawla ton si evisnepxe tsom eht taht uoy llet reve rehtom ruoy t'ndiD" "!hctaP repaP eht otni tnew I nehw deksa I !lla fo evisnepxe tsom eht si siht tuB" .dnoB elbasarroC fo egakcap depparw-enahpollec eht gnippat ,deksa ehs "?siht morf tnereffiD" .draob eht no repap dna retirwepyt eht tup ot kcab emac ehs nehw dias eh ",ti teg dluoc uoy fi ,repap tnereffid emos ekil d'I"

    .nrab eht fo egde eht ot gnulc hcihw selcici eht morf gninnur retaw eht ta kool dna riahcleehw eht ni tis ot mih gnivael ,tuo tnew ehS ".luaP ,ma I deticxe woh uoy llet t'nac tsuj I" .mraw yrev saw taht ecnalg a htiw mih derovaf ehS ".detrats teg nac uoy dna" ,dias ehs ",yart eht ekat tsuj ll'I nehT" .kool rehtona ekat ot tnaw I ,pu kcaB !tuo eye'm denrub raen nmad noitcelfeR !ereht nwod gnihtemos s'ereht ,yzarc m'I em llet t'noD . . . ?maH ,ereht nwod s'tahW - pu dnah gnidleihs a tup dna ecniw reh gnikam ,ecaf s'namdyoR srM ekirts thgil fo worra thgirb a was ,redniwediS morf pu gnivird snamdyoR eht was eh dnim sih ni dna ,deerga eh ",enod llA" "?enod llA ?etib tsal taht tnaw t'noD" .ti no llits gge eht htiw etalp eht no nwod kcab krof sih tup eH ".nevaeh fo epoh eht ekil si gnirps fo epoh eht taht yas ot desu syawla rehtom ym dna ,luaP ,gnimoc si gnirps tub - llew sa mrots gib rehtona ylbaborp dna ,tey su fo daeha eerht ro pans drah a tog ev'ew - tsal t'now ti esruoc fO" .no elkniwt ot nus eht rof wons dettor eht hguorht gnicafrus oramaC sih fo repmub raer eht denigami luaP sa yliag no gniog saw einnA "!kcolc'o enin neve ton s'ti dna seerged evif-ytrof ot pu s'tI" .edis s'nrab eht fo esab eht ta yal hcihw eci fo lanac worran a otno llef ti sa delkraps pord hcaE .tsaf gnippird - gnippird erew selcici eseht fo spit ehT .evac eht gnola selcici fo wor a saw erehT .nrab eht ta tuo dekool eh sa riadim ni deppots tI .htuom sih ot yawflah gge fo lufkrof a dah eH "?nwo sti no gnitlem s'ti woh ees hguoht ,retniw siht regnol hcum meht deen t'now I .eci eht tlem dna toh teg yeht dna hctiws a worht uoY .foor eht ni sepat-taeh tup mahsrevaH ylliB dah I oga sraey owT" .emit ni pu emoc lliw erus m'I hcihw srehto eht lla dna foof-ed-elddif dna eidrib ytrid htiw gnolA .si taht ,sriomem ruoy etirw ot ecnahc a teg reve uoy fi - sriomem ruoy ni nocixel sekliW einnA eht rof eno taht evaS .thguoht eh ,trap tseigoo ehT ".trap tseigoo eht si foor eht ni gnikaerb morf wons eht gnipeeK .pu elip sgniht tel t'nod uoy sa gnol sa ,krow hcum t'nsi yllaer ti ,seog nrab eht sa raf sA .tnatropmi yrev ,yrev si secnaraeppa pu gnipeeK .ecin gnihtyreve peek I oS .em tuoba romur a trats ro ,em ta teg ot yaw a rof gnikool syawla era yehT .pay dluow srobhgien eht ,t'ndid I fi esuaceb ecin ti peek I .dias syawla rehtom ym ,seod emosdnah sa si emosdnaH !foof-ed-elddiF" .tae ot nageb eh sa mih gnihctaw ,nwod tas dna mih ediseb revo riahc a dellup ehS .draob eht no yart eht tup neht dna riahcleehw eht fo smra eht no draob eht tup ehS ".emosdnah yrev s'tI" .dias eh ",seY" .selos eperc htiw seohs etihw gniraew saw ehs taht was eh mih ot dessorc ehs sA .ti fo thgis eht ta delworg hcamots sih tub . . . doof dilavni ,doof tfoS .yart a no doof dah ehS .niaga peelsa ylthgil llef neht dna ,senob fo evac sti ni denosirpmi yal ti erehw morf mih gnildeen ,revo denrut tI .eenk tfel sih decalper dah taht emod-tlas dehcnub eht ni dna snihs sih fo deniamer tahw ni yllud delrans tI .ezod sti morf niap sih ekowa tnemevom detaluclacnu dna kciuq ehT .deltrats ,dnuora dekool eH ".luaP ,nrab ym gnirimda er'uoy ees I" .weiv eht ffo tuc esuoh eht - daor eht ees ton dluoc eh tub ,edalb eht esu deedni did ehs taht tcaf eht ot tnematset a ,dewolp yltaen saw yawevird ehT .)noitavrats fo gniyd saw ehs fi meht morf spohc krop fo etalp a ekat t'ndluow ylbaborp einnA dna ,esruoc fo ,snamdyoR eidrib-ytrid esoht rof tpecxe( pleh rof nopu llac dluoc ehs robhgien on dah dna enola devil ohw namow a rof elcihev tcefrep ehT .draobhsad eht no revel gnikcol eht worht dna ,wolp eht no sehctac eht dehctam emarf eht no skooh eht taht os eldarc eht ot pu ylluferac peeJ eht evird ot deen ylno dluow ehs ,peeJ eht ot wolp eht hcatta oT .eldarc nedoow edam-emoh a ni wolp rehsiF a doots edis eno oT .rof derac llew ylsuoivbo tub dlo sraey evif ebyam ,eekorehC peej a doots ti fo tnorf nI .nrab a sa gnidareuqsam eriuqs yrtnuoc od-ot-llew a fo egarag rac-evif eht ekil dekool mirt deroloc-maerc taen dna tniap der-krad sti htiw erutcurts ydit dna taen sihT .drawtuo gniyaws dna skcart rieht ffo spahrep srood elbuod gnol ,draobdrac fo seceip htiw dekcolb dna nekorb emos ,ytsud dna knalb swodniw ,thgiewwons fo sraey morf g*****s dna dewob eertfoor - seirots tsohg fo koob s'dlihc a morf noitartsulli na ekil gnidliubtuo elkcahsmar a denigami dah eh ,ecaf reh fo worp suoivrepmi eht htiw htaerb reh gnikaerb ,wodniw sih tsap ylmirg gnigdurt reh was eh nehw ro kcotsevil reh fo ekops ehs nehW .nrab der taen a :gnidliub eno ylno yb detpurretni saw erauqs nepo siht fo weiv ehT .wodaem nepo ro htrae dellit saw htaeneb dnal eht fi llet ot elbissopmi saw tI .etihw gnizalb dna tcefrep a saw ti revo revoc-wons eht - tserof eht fo egde eht dna esuoh eht neewteb dnuorg nepo fo serca ytneves spahrep erew erehT .niatnuom tseraen eht fo knalf eht debmilc tserof neerg fo teprac A .sduolc fo tneconni ,eulb gninrom-ylrae tcefrep a saw yks ehT .kcordeb fo setalp detlitpu yb ffo tuc ylbativeni erew dlrow eht fo sweiv regnol erehw ,seikcoR eht ni saw syawla ti ;raen saw noziroh ehT .dlihc a sa - ibmaB eivom tsrif sih dehctaw dah eh sa ylregae sa dlrow wen siht otni dekool eH .)semit ytfif rehtona shtnom fo egnahc taht ees ot devil eh fi neve ,yraurbeF emaceb yraunaJ emit hcae pac gnikcots dna ecaf s'yob taht ot nrut dluow dnim sih taht thguoht eh( dels sih no llihnwod gnidils yob eht yb dezilobmys yraurbeF fo htnom gnol ,gnol eht ,ehpmoirT ed crA eht fo erutcip ,repapllaw eulb - seitirev gnignahcnu sti htiw moor sih fo taht morf tnereffid yhpargoeg a ta kool ot elba saw eh - sraey ekil tlef ti - skeew ni emit tsrif eht roF .dneirf dlo na morf eton a ekil ,ciglatson wohemos dna gnihserfer htob saw ti fo leef ehT .wodniw eht dnuora emod a ekil dloc fo elbbub a leef dluoc eh dnah sih tuo dleh eh nehw dna ,tsorf fo yrecart a htiw edisni eht no degde erew senapwodniw ehT .sknaht dna erusaelp sti rumrum ,serosdeb ronim htiw ereht dna ereh dettod ,niks etihw-ytsap sih leef dluoc eh mih ot demees ti dna ,skeew ni emit tsrif eht rof mih no llef nus eht os wodniw eht ot revo mih dellor ehS

    .tnuoc dluow hcihw enola mood saw ti dne eht ni tub ,evirts ot elbon dna epoh ot thgir lla saw ti mih gnillet ,htoot gnissim sti htiw mih ta yltnednelpser dennirg ti ;mih gnikaw erofeb dnuora retirwepyt eht denrut dah ehs was dna reh tsap dekool eH ?ecnahc a evah ton eh thgiM . . . ti od tsum ehs taht ,ti od ot reh rof delley stcnitsni lamina reh ylduol woh ro hcum woh rettam on tuo emac lla ti woh derevocsid ehs litnu mih llik ot raeb ton dluoc ehs fi ,hguone doog saw etorw eh tahw fi dnA .saw eH .edazarehehcS saw taht einnA t'nsaw ti esruoc fo tuB .seirots tseb eht fo srood eht nepo hcihw sesarhp yrotatnacni eht detnahc dna teprac cigam reh no edor ehs sa seot ylruc htiw sreppils deniuqes knip otni deffuts teef gib reh ,sebor suonahpaid ni dalc ydob dilos reh ,edazarehehcS saw sekliW einnA taht demaerd dah eH .epoh - noitome wen egnarts a tlef dna ecaf regae reh ta dekool eH ".nigeb ot uoy rof emit eb lliw ti neht dna ,uoy rof gge deliob ecin a dna trugoy tog ev'I" .gnillirt tsomla saw einnA "!daehypeels ,pu ekaW" .dedne dah wons eht - wodniw eht ni gnitnals saw nus gninrom thgirb dna mih gnikahs saw einnA pu ekow eh nehW

    .emit a nopu ecnO .emit a nopu ecnO .ohw nam a morf siht draeh I .yob roop a woh fo yrots eht si sihT .yob a saw rehtafdnarg s'rehtafdnarg ym nehw syad eht ni deneppah sihT .ssap ot emac ti emit a nopu ecnO .gnillac saw einnA ,emit a nopu ecnO .etalp esnecil odaroloC a edam ti ;etihw dna neerg ni lla nevow saw ti was eh ,)sgrebeci gnoma gnitagivan niatpac-aes a fo seye eht sa ytnilf dna thgirb sa erew seye reh ;reh dniheb tuo demaerts riah reh( mih tsap deknab teprac eht nehW .teprac cigam a no truoc eht dnuora gniylf neht dna selttob morf seineg dna spmi gnirujnoc ,hpilac naibarA suolubaf emos fo truoc eht ni sekliW einnA fo demaerd eH

    .mih deef ot nageb dna revo emac dna ,dias ehs ",yllis a hcus era uoY" ".hcuM" "?retteB" .llaw knalb tub gnihton ta dennirg ti os dnuora ti denrut ehS ".ti pleh nac I fi kcarc a no pets reven I" .dias ehs ",kcab s'rehtom ruoy kaerb ,kcarc a no pets ekil s'tI" ".tcaf fo rettam a sa ,gnitirw ma I elihw thgin yrevE" :dedda dna desuap eH ".gnitirw trats I erofeb llaw eht ot retirwepyt ym nrut syawla I" .dias eh ",enim fo noititsrepus dlO" .thgin lla em ta gninnirg ti tnaw t'nod I esuaceB "?taht od ot em tnaw uoy dluow dlrow eht ni yhW" .denworf ehS ".llaw eht secaf ti oS .dnuora retirwepyt taht nrut dluoc uoy fi rednow I" ".seY" "?einnA" .doof eht teg ot uaerub eht ot tnew dna ,dias ehs "?stif ti llew woh eeS" ,mih fo tnorf ni draob eht tup ehS .inicnaM mooB mooB no gnikat xoC yllaW ekil eb dluow ti won saw eh sA .tbuod ni neeb evah dluow einnA dna mih neewteb thgif a fo emoctuo eht epahs doog ni nevE .gnorts saw ehs ,seY .esackoob reh ni tols ytpme na otni koob a gnidils namow a fo esae eht htiw ti did ehS .riahc eht otni mih dils ylpmis neht dna ,dias ehs ",siht od I elihw nwod seenk eht morf evom ot ton yrT" .skcottub sih rednu tfel reh ,kcab sih dnuora ylmrif saw mra thgir reh nehT .noisluver ni detsiwt ecaf sih dna ,eslup reh fo pmuht eht leef dluoc eh tnatsni na roF .esroh a fo kcen eht ekil redluohs sih tsniaga gnisserp kcen reh fo edis eht ,revo denael ehs neht dna - dedisbus ti tub aera civlep sih ni niap fo eralf gnidduht ,llud a saw ereht - pu tis ot mih depleh ehS .deb eht ot revo riahcleehw eht dellor neht ,uaerub eht no nwod doof fo yart eht tes ehS .drawretfa ytnelp truh dluow eh taht mih nwohs dah ecneirepxe suoiverp esuaceb ,doog saw taht dna ,deraef dah eh sa hcum sa truh t'ndid riahc eht otni gnitteG

    .detfihs dah ezag sih nehw tsuj fo erawa neve ton ,noitanicsaf desluper diva htiw niaga retirwepyt eht ta gnikool saw eh ,revewoh ,hguone nooS .gnillaf saw wons hserf erehw ,wodniw eht tuo gnikool deirt eh emit sihT .dekaorc luaP ",neve su sekaM" .ecaf ruoy ekil I kniht t'nod I dna . . . em htiw laed ot evah ot gniog era uoy tsrif tub - yawyna ,yrt ll'uoY .ti od ll'uoy ,erocne na rof kcab yresiM gnignirb snaem ti fI .truh seod ti fi neve evila yats ot tnaw uoy kniht I .yddub dlo ,taht eveileb uoy kniht t'nod I .htoot gnissim eno sti htiw gninnirg ,etirw ot tnaw ton did eh sdrow fo lluf dna kciht dna etum ,uaerub eht pota doots tI .niaga retirwepyt eht ta gnikool saw eh noos oot lla tub ,s'W dekcolretni eht ta pu gnikool deirt eH .gnireffus ereh gniyl naht retteB .edolpxe reh ekaM .elttil a dnuora reh ecnuoB .si ti sa enirecylgortin fo elttob gniklaw a ekil s'ehS .dam reh ekaM .ti od t'nod nehT .eb thgim ti hguoht emoseurg dna kcalb ,ecitsuj niatrec a evah dluow taht - gip eht yresiM ot sniamer sih deef dluow ehs spahrep rO .dray kcab eht ni tnemretni ytsah a yb dewollof ,leahcimraC een ,niatsahC yresiM htiw ecnatniauqca sih gniwener dna senob nekorb sih htiw gnireffus dneps dluow eh hcihw efil fo skeew xis :tnasaelpnu ylemertxe gaw mih erofeb gninepo won atsiv detimil ehT .seye ruoy ni ti was I .oot ,did uoy dna ,ti wenk I .su fo htob ot gniyl erew uoy ,einnA ,hA .niaga elpoep gniteem fo niarts eht ot pu . . . eb dluohs uoy ,hsinif uoy emit eht yb taht kniht I .tnemom eht rof ylno tub ,evitcani gnidnats si hcihw - odapparts ,kcar ,toob - erutrot fo tnemurtsni na ta gnikool ekil elttil a saw ti ta gnikooL .gninnirg ,uaerub eht no tas tI .ti drawot ylsselpleh dellor seye sih tsal ta tub ,detsiser elihwa rof dna retirwepyt eht ta kool ot tnaw ton did eH .reh dniheb desolc rood ehT .ssik a mih welb ,yleuqsetorg ,neht dna ,tnemom a rof ereht desuap ,rood eht ot tnew ehS "!teb ll'I ,gnikrow er'uoy nehw retsaf dnem ll'uoY .worromot krow ot kcab og ot evah uoy esuaceb ,peels ruoy teg uoy erus ekam ot tnaw I .ti deen uoy fi thgin eht ni llip artxe na evah neve nac uoY .emit no thgir noitacidem niap ruoy teg uoy erus ekam ll'I dnA .yob doog a hcus neeb ev'uoy esuaceb O-lleJ elttil a nevE .ruoh na flah ni uoy rof saep dna seotatop dehsam dna nekcihc fo tsaerb emos htiw ni eb ll'I" ".od erus I .einnA ,seY" "?os kniht uoy t'noD !gniticxe si sihT" .dias ehs ",pac gnikniht ruoy no tup nac uoy os won tuo og ll'I .hcamots sih ot kcis elttil a gnileef saw eH .gnihtemos yas ot tsuj ,dias eh ",doog s'tahT" ".nwo I koob laer ylno eht eb lliw ti ,elbiB s'rehtom ym rof tpecxE .flesym nruteR s'yresiM dnib ot gniog m'I" .ylimaerd dias ehs ",gnidnib-koob no pu yduts ot gniog m'I" .si ti seY" .emit siht eil ot deen oN .dias eh ",seY" "?ti t'nsi ,devol llew dna daer llew neeb sah koob a ngis a s'taht tub ,derae-god elttil a er'yehT .skoob eht teg uoy erus ekam ll'I" .tseretni emos nwohs evah thgim ehs ,eprohtnuD elttiL ni susnec egalliv a fo nekops dah eh fI .reh ot gnihton tnaem secidnI .laer yltcefrep erew reh gnidnuorrus sretcarahc eht dna yresiM reh ot esuaceb secidni dna ecnadrocnoc sih tuoba raeh ot tnaw ton did ehS .redaeR tnatsnoC ,epytehcra nairotciV taht fo tnemidobme eht saw ehS .meht gnikam fo scinahcem eht ni tseretni tsethgils eht gnivah tuohtiw seirots devol ohw namow a ,ecneidua tcefrep eht saw sekliW einnA .flesti yticilpmis saw ,thguoht eh ,nosaer ehT .dnuoblleps sretirw eb-dluow fo ssalc a dleh evah dluow taht edart eht fo kcirt a ni tseretni tsethgils eht ton nwohs d'ehs emit dnoces eht saw sihT .gninetsil ylerab saw ehs was eH " . . . ffuts lacirotsiH .senil-emiT .syaw tnereffid ruof ro eerht dexedni-ssorc tub ,yltsom ,secalp dna sretcarahC" .dias eh ",ffuts yresiM ym lla evah I erehw rednib fael-esool a s'tI" "?ecnadrocnoc a s'tahW" :nehT .dias ehs "!meht evah I esruoc fO" ".ecnadrocnoc ym evah t'nod I esuaceb ,meht tog ev'uoy fi ,skoob yresiM eht lla deen ll'I" :dias eh tsal tA .deretsulf elttil a dna tneitapmi ,yawa dekool ehs tnemom a retfa dna reh ta gnikool no tnew eH "!oot ,edutitargni tnaem taht dnatsrednu t'ndid I sseug I tub ,soge gib evah ot desoppus erew sretirw wenk I !yltsenoh ,lleW" ".sey ,raeh ot detnaw I tahw s'tahT" "?raeh ot tnaw uoy tahw taht sI" .dias ehs ",niaga elpoep gniteem fo niarts eht ot pu . . . eht ot pu eb dluohs uoy ,hsinif uoy emit eht yb taht kniht I" .reh ta dekool ylno ,gnihton dias eH ".luaP ,renosirp uoy gnipeek erew I hguoht sa kaeps uoY" .ylsuoiduts ,ylluferac mih ta gnikool saw ehs neht dna ,ecaf reh ssorca yliduolc deppils esaenu tnemom a roF "?enod s'ti nehw og em tel uoy lliw ,uoy rof levon siht etirw I fi - yakO" .meht denepo neht ,tnemom a rof seye sih desolc eH "!reggib neve ebyam - srehto eht lla ekil eno gib ecin A !levoN" " - uoy rof yrots siht etirw I fI" "!raed ,esruoc fO" "?gniht eno em llet uoy lliw ,einnA" ".ssel elttil a dnA .ssel elttil a dnA .ssel elttil a struh ti nehw - si yllaer ti naht uoy ot regnol mees yam ti hguohtla ,rehtie ,gnol eb t'now ti dna - yad a emoc lliw ereht tuB .erom elttil a neve ebyaM .oot ,emit txen truh lliw ti dnA .did ti teb uoy ,truh ti emit tsaL" " - emit tsaL .riahcleehw taht ni tis nac I fi wonk t'nod I ,einnA" "!seY" .derepsihw ti ,yddub dlo ,era uoy doog woh tsuj tuo dnif ot gniog er'eW .mih ta dennirg tI .retirwepyt eht ta dekool dna ,dias eh "?I mA" ".doog er'uoy esuaceB .reh llik yllaer t'ndluoc uoy wenk I .daed yllaer t'nsaw ehs wenk I ,uoy ta dam os saw I nehw . . . saw I nehw nevE" .ylimaerd deilper einnA ",ton s'ehs oN" .gnitirw detcerid elttil a fo elbapac eb dluohs tekcub-roolf a morf knird dluoc ohw nam a ,lla retfA .esirprus laer on tub noisluver derit htiw mih dellif thguoht ehT .kcab reh gnirb dluoc I ,gnikniht saw eh ,ylbidercni ,ydaerla tuB ".daed si yresiM ,einnA" "!ti fo knihT !ti tnaw thgim yeht hcum woh rettam on ,sah dlrow eht ni esle eno on gnihtemos evah ll'I !koob yresiM tsewen eht fo ypoc ylno dna eno ehT !htlaeh ot kcab uoy gnisrun rof tnemyap yM !luaP ,em rof tsuj koob a eb lliw tI" .stsaerb reh neewteb depsalc erew sdnah lufrewop reH .thgilhcraes a ekil enohs ecaf reH "!seY" .esirprus llud htiw tsirw gnituops sih gnidrager doots eh sa gnihton fo seiceps emas siht leef thgim was rewop a ni ffo dnah sih tuc tsuj dah ohw nam a desoppus eH .lla ta gnihton tlef eH .nruteR s'yresiM

    "!nruteR s'yresiM !levon tseb ruoY !levon wen a etirw ot retirwepyt siht esu ot gniog er'uoY !wonk I ,kniht t'nod I" .ecaf dehsulf reh ni yldetamina gnicnad seye reh ,mih ot gninrut ,dias ehs "luaP tub ,hO" "?kniht uoy od ,ereht etirw I lliw tahW" .rewsna eht wenk ydaerla eh hcihw ot noitseuq eht deksa neht dna ,esae tcefrep htiw efil sih fo eil tseggib eht gnirettu ,dias eh ",doog skool tI" "?kniht uoy od tahW" .yduts s'elppirc fo dnik a detaerc won dah ehS .ti ediseb - rehtegot delffuhs erew segap eht nehw derrulb epyt eht yaw eht fo esuaceb dlrow eht lla ni tsom detah eh repap eht - dnoB elbasarroC fo egakcap eht tup dna ,tsohg eht gnicaf ,draob eht no retirwepyt eht tup ehS .renosirp a ekil ni tnep ,draob taht dniheb flesmih fo tsohg eht ees dluoc eh ydaerlA .rotisiv lateleks nmelos emos ekil deb sih yb doots taht riahcleehw eht fo smra eht no draob eht tup ehS "!kooL" .gnol teef ruof yb ediw teef eerht tuoba draob a dna parw-knirhs ni dnoB elbasarroC fo egakcap a htiw kcab emac ehS .selddaD ykcuD retcarahc pirts-cimoc dlo taht ekil nirg sti hguorht kcalc dluow ti woh ,ekil dnuos dluow retirwepyt eht tahw nwonk dah eh desoppus eh sa tsuj ,tuoba saw siht lla tahw nwonk llew ytterp dah eh taht retal desoppus eH .deirav reven s'layoR ehT .denrut saw kcab reh tnemom eht deraeppasid nirg siH .rehto hcae drager ot retirwepyt eht dna luaP gnivael ,lrig a ekil moor eht morf dehsad ehS "!tiaw . . . repap dna . . . ezis ot ti tuc I . . . draob a tog ev'I" " . . . oN" "?uoy nac ,nwod gniyl epyt t'nac uoy esruoc fo dnA .tib ynit eno tsoc eht egdurgeb t'nod I dna ,pu gnittis nageb uoy emit s'ti tuB" .gnilims ,mih ta kcab dekool ehs nehT .taorht reh deraelc ,denworf ,ffo ekorb ehS "- I ecnis thgis fo tuo thgir enog evah seilppus ymotsO" .dias ehs ",evisnepxe erom hcum saw riahcleehw ehT" .elbuort gnisimorp ,htoot gnissim sti htiw gninnirg ereht tas ti ;degamad osla dna namow eht sa dilos sa ,retirwepyt eht fo thgiew eht rof ton fi gniog saw siht yaw eht ni erusaelp emos nekat evah dluoc luaP .sthguoht reh rehtag ot tnemom a gnikat ,deretsulf elttil a ,desaelp tsuj tub knalb ton ,tnemom a rof ffo dekool ehS "!lleW" ".lla ta toN" .dias eh "!ton m'I" .derepmis ehs "!reloof uoY" .thgin ta ekil kool dluow ti tahw si tahT .seirots draggaH rediR .H eht ni slodi esoht fo eno fo htuom eht edisni ecanruf a tliub uoy fi ,thguoht eh ,ekil kool dluow ti tahw s'tahT .skeehc dilos reh ni esor hsulb a ,ylbidercnI .wolg a emaceb elims reH ".eman s'esrun etirovaf ym ni srettel eht fo owt s'tI" ".eman s'retirw etirovaf ym ni srettel eht fo eno saw n reh dlot I" .terces suoiciled a erahs ot mih gnitivni ,yls werg elims reH .ti fo gnah eht tog uoy ecno ysae saw ycnahpocyS .yrevocsid wen a saw ereH "!nmaD !uoy rof doog lleW" .dewolla ehs ",rettel tnatropmi na saw n reh dlot I" .elttil a deneerp einnA "?rekcid t'ndid uoy naem uoY ?uoy ot ti evaG" .ysae gniyl dna gnilims htob edam tahT .ni saw edit ehT .kcab delims eH .dias ti ,ehs loof oN .elims ytfarc a mih dereffo ehS ".n gnissim eht fo esuaceB evif em evag tub srallod evif-ytrof detnaw ehS" .elbuort gnisimorp ,mih ta dennirg layoR ehT .akdov ro sdrac tiderc rof sda gniod seitirbelec on ,thginoT tnemniatretnE on ,yadoT ASU on ,snoitide ni-eit eivom on ,secnavda koob erugif-xis on osla . . . scitsalp on ,syolla on erew ereht nehw emit a morf emoc dah tI .sdnuop ytfif sa hcum sa hgiew thgim retirwepyt eht desseug luaP .elttil a dekcor deb ehT .nwod kcab ti tes ehS ".ees I" .etelpmoc esiwrehto tub nrow hteet fo lufhtuom a ni ralom gnissim a ekil rekirts gnissim eht ees dna syek fo elcricimes deknab eht ta reep dluoc eh os pu retirwepyt eht detlit ehS "?ees - seY" "?ti seoD" ".n gnissim a sah tI" :gnissefnoc fi sa ,dias neht dna tnemom gnol a desuap ehS .dias eh ",enif skool tI" " - euqitna na saw ti dias uoy nehw yhw s'tahT .rednetrab a htiw gnivil s'ehs won dna eciwt decroviD .regnomerohW eb ot thguo eman reH !regnomtraD .dab s'ehs ,yllis sa llew sA" .kcolc dednuow a erew ehs fi sa kcit reh ot denetsil eh ;selcyc reh ,sdoom reh ot denutta erom gnimoceb flesmih dnuof eH .yhtapme ot stuctrohs gnizama yllaer emos detaerc ti tub ,flesti ni tcnitsni ylno eb thgim ,gnirevocsid saw eh ,tcnitsni lavivrus eht - mih ta gninekrad ton saw ehs taht ecno ta was eh tub ,elttil a denekrad einnA ".namow yllis a si ,ti snur ohw ydal eht ,regnomtraD ycnaN tuB ?erots a rof eman yllis a taht t'nsI .sweN desU ta ti tog I" .elttil a dewols taebtraeh siH .denruter elims reH .ti dessik evah dluow eh ti dehcaer evah dluoc eh fI .ti dettap evah dluow eh ti dehcaer evah dluoc eh fI "!sknat era seibab eciffo dlo esehT .reverof raen nmad stsal retirwepyt doog A .ti ot nwod thgir emoc uoy nehw ton - retirwepyt euqitna na sa gniht hcus on t'nia erehT !yeH" .ssenbilg etaidemmi htiw dednopser eH ".dnah-dnoces dooG .dnah-dnoces rof ti thguob I .euqitna na rof ti yub t'ndid I" .deduolc elims reH ".euqitna laer A" .ecno ta dias eh "!ecin s'tI" "?kniht uoy od tahW" .ylregae gnilims saw ehS "?lleW" .aiglatson tnasaelp on pu dellac eno siht fo thgis ehT .snobbir hcus erew ereht nettogrof dah eH .kcalb revo der ,enot-owt dedaf a saw nobbir ehT .elbuort ekil dekool ydaerla ti ,yawynA .saw ti ekil dekool ti ,tsirhC ?gninnirg ti saW .ti ta derats eH .tnemom a rof noitcepsni sih rof pu ti gnidloh retfa sgel sih neewteb deb eht fo toof eht no nwod ti tes ehs ,gnitnurG .elcricimes a ni enihcam eht fo tnorf eht ssorca nar LAYOR srettel ehT .dettip dna derracs rebbur drah sti ,ytsud saw rellor ehT .bmuht s'rekihhctih a ekil edis eno ot dettuj ,esusid htiw llud ,revel nruter leets A .sdor dna ,stehctar ,sgnirps ,srevel s'enihcam eht gnilaever ,sedis eht otni tes erew slenap ssalG .seohs nottub-hgih fo riap a sa reporp sa dna kcalb sa saw tI .noitcif ecneics ylno erew senohpelet enot-hcuot dna ,sVT roloc ,sretirwepyt cirtcele sa sgniht hcus nehw are na morf ledom e na saw tI .layoR eht mih thguorb ehs gnineve txen ehT

    .peelsa llaf ot elba saw eh taht enicidem fo esod rehtona mih nevig dna ni emoc dah ehs litnu ton saw ti dna ,ekawa ylluf erew sgel sih neht yB .gniredduhs nageb dna ,thguoht luaP ,efil ym fo htgnel eht eb dluoc tahT ?eviF ?skeew xiS ?tlem gnirps eht litnu gnol woH ?repap eht ni ti daer ehs litnu ro ,reh no dellac repoort taht erofeb gnol woH ?nodlehS luaP eb ot renwo eht gnimialcorp tnemtrapmoc evolg eht ni noitartsiger sti dna setalp kroY weN sti htiw oramaC sih delaever swons gnitlem eht erofeb gnol woH .egap eht nrut ot nettogrof tsuj dah sekliW einnA .hcraM ylrae ydaerla saw ti thgir erew snoitaluclac sih fi tub ,radnelac eht ot gnidrocca yraurbeF saw tI .llih a nwod dels a gnidir yob a dewohs tI .llaw eht no radnelac a saw erehT .tfel detfird seye siH .etirw ot emoseurg oot yrots a fo esimerp erab eht ekil ,ecaf sih no sthguoht sih daer dluow ehs diarfa tsomla saw eh tub ,emoc dluow ehs degnob kcolc eht emit txen eht ;tnetsisni erom saw sgel sih ni gnibborht ehT .detsaW .depiW .dehsaW .gniliec eht ssorca delggarts s'W ehT .gnirps eht ni tuB .odaroloC ,redniwediS ni mih rof gnikool saw eno on tub ,.A.L ni ro kroY weN ni mih rof gnikool eb thgim yehT .rac eht dnuof dah eno on esuaceb tey deneppah dah taht fo enoN .ecnedive evael thgiM .yssem ooT .nug eht ton - oN .melborp eht fo erac ekat dluow taht dna - eno dah yrtnuoc hgih eht ni gnivil enoyreve tsomla - erehwemos dnuora elfir a saw ereht yleruS .mih toohs ylpmis dluow ehs spahrep ;wollip a htiw mih rehtoms spahrep ro ,owt fo daetsni sllip evif mih evig dluow ehS .elihwa detnuh neeb evah yeht retfa sllik ticilli rieht yrub ot nigeb sgod dliw sa tsuj ,ti od dluow ehs dne eht ni tuB .siva arar reh fo dir teg ot ediced reh ekam ot tisiv ro llac-enohp pu-wollof a ekat thgim tI .keew a ro yad a rof mih ot no gnah thgim ehS .tser eht ees ot seye sih revo woble sih deen t'ndid eH .gniliec eht ssorca ylneknurd gniyaws s'W gnikcolretni eht ta dekool eH .seye sih morf yawa mra sih koot eH .eerf klaw ton thgim ehs emit siht dnA .revneD ni niaga dnats eht no pu reh tuP .esruoc fo ,niaga dnats eht no pu reh tup ,yhW ?tuo dnuof yeht fi od yeht dluow tahw dnA .acirfA morf emac hcihw drib erar a - srehtaef lufituaeb htiw drib erar a nelots dah ehS .smoor ytpme eht ot "!ssendooG" rettu dluow ehs neht dna won yrevE .duolc sih ni tsol yal eh erehw moor-tseug eht otni neht dna won yreve gnikeep ,gnihcnelcnu dna gnihcnelc sdnah ,htrof dna kcab gniklaw reh ees dluoc eH .spil reh gnikcits eugnot reh ees dluoc eH .lortnoc fo tuo gnitteg fo egrev eht no saw top eucebrab eht ni erif eht nehw ylsselmia dnuora gnitrad seye reh derebmemer eH .teiuq os eb ton thgim tseug-esuoh reh emit txen dna ,kcab emoc thgim spoc ehT .reh ekil t'ndid yeht ;elbuort ni reh teg ot yrots a pu ekam ot snamdyoR eht tsap ti tup t'ndluow ehs ,gniht a nees t'ndah yeht fi nevE .ekilnam yleugav gnihtemos ,tliuq a ni depparw gnihtemos ,eisseB dlO fo kcab eht ni ynnuf gnihtemos was dna thgin taht yb gniog reh was snamdyoR eht fo eno ebyam tub ,esle ecalpemos kool tsael ta ro ,gnikool pots ll'yeht mih dnif t'nod yeht nehw ebyaM .stekramrepus eht fo traehteews dna snib-pmud eht fo gnilrad ,niatsahC yresiM gnarps worb esohw morf sueZ yraretil eht ,nodlehS luaP si eh ;omokoK morf wolB eoJ dlo doog tsuj ton si eh esuaceb ,kool dna kool dna kool lliw spoc ehT .pu yaw ,yaW .pu dniw sti htiw lamina na ekil si ehs won esuaceb ,efas oot ton tub . . . niaga efas sleef ehs dna ,)si taht ,srepmub eht rednu dna sllew-leehw eht ni deltsen tlas dna wons fo sknuhc dekac eht rof tpecxe naelc-ydnaps( resiurc naelc-ydnaps sih ni daor eht nwod og poc eht sehctaw ehs oS .taht no tol dna esuoh eht teb d'I .thguoht luaP ,rehtie ,ssentiw gnitroppus a sa ton dna . . . revneD ni ereht pu dnats eht no neeb dah sekliW einnA ,saw melborp ehT .sehcturc munimula fo seceip ffo-dewas htiw sgel sih gnitnilps ,smra sih ni seldeen gnikcits ,tnemtaert fo tros driew a htiw epod eht dewollof dah ehs ,saw melborp ehT .saw eh thguoht eh sa dekooh sa flah neve saw eh fi ton - ssecca evah ot desoppus ton ylniatrec saw ehs hcihw ot epod fo lluf mih dellif dah ehs ,saw melborp ehT ".enilopmart a rof mih desu gnoK gniK ekil tib a skool ,ereh wollef a tog ev'I dna daoR niatnuoM yggubmuH eht no pu einnA si sihT" :ecivres ecnalubma lacol eht ot llac-enohp oN .eno on dlot dna moor-tseug eht ni mih dellatsni dna esuoh reh ot mih nekat dah ehs ,saw melborp ehT .)gniht a hcus saw yllautca ereht nirgahc sseldne s'luaP ot( bulC naF niatsahC yresiM eht ni pihsrebmem emitefil a dna ladem a reh evig ylbaborp dluow yeht taht rof ;)eb ot ti deveileb luaP os dna( redniwediS naht resolc saw ti fi yllaicepse ,esuoh reh ot mih nekat dah ehs esuaceb ton elbuort ni eb dluow ehS .deciton ylerab eh noitingocer siht fo rorroh gninwad eht ni tub ,niaga truh ot gninnigeb erew sgel siH .derepsihw luaP ",seY" ?ehs t'ndluow ,elbuort ni saw ehs wonk dluow sekliW einnA ,dnuof saw rac sih fI .naorg a raeh thgim repoort eht ,srae eht ot depod tseug eht htiw neve ,moor-tseug eht dna meht neewteb srood desolc owt htiw neve ,nehctik eht ni nevE .daor eht nwod raf dna esuoh reh fo tuo s'eh litnu efas leef ot gniog t'nsi ehs emit sihT .eeffoc rof yats ot mih etivni t'nseod einnA emit siht ylnO .halb-ed-halb-ed-halb dna ,gniyas saw repoort etats eht ,niatnuoM yggubmuH nwod yawflah rac denrutrevo na dnuof ev'eW .snrubedis gnolrevo eht dna sessalgnus krad eht htiw repoort etats eht pu derujnoc niaga dna niaga seye sih ssorca mra sih tup eH ".nwod wolS .enohp eht dloh tsuj ,etunim a tiaw ,etunim a tiaW" .krad eht ni derepsihw eh ",etunim a tiaW" ?mih ot naem ti did tahW ?dnuof saw ti nehw tuobA ?rac sih fo smret ni naem sisylanaohcysp erots-emid siht lla did ,gnihtyna fi ,tahW .edirts kaerb ot gniyrt rettort derbrevo na ,pollag a otni kaerb ot deirt ylneddus dnim siH ?uoy lliw ,niaga dam em ekam t'now uoY .sgnirps eht fo kaerc ehT .deb ot kcab tnew ehs sa teef reh fo dap yvaeh ehT .gnihsulf teliot ehT .gnitaniru reh fo dnuos tniaf ehT .gniliec sih ssorc sllaftoof gnipmuht reh draeh eh daehrevo dna ,gnob ot nageb kcolc eht moor rehto eht nI .tsaf gnitaeb saw traeh siH .nodlehS luaP fo ypoc on saw ereht ,lla retfA ?daetsni koob ytrid eht fo rotaerc eht yortsed ot dediced evah ton ehs thgim ,"koob ytrid" sih yortsed t'ndluoc ehs taht tcaf eht htiw decaf ylraelc neeb dah ehs fI !repmet a hcus evah I - gnilaeuqs ,truh eb dluow oge ehT .lortnoc reh dnoyeb ecalp a ot gnidael senil esoht fo eno egdelwonkca ot decrof neeb evah dluow ehS .elituf saw ti nees evah dluow ehs ,seY .denediw seye sih dna taorht sih ni thguac ylneddus ,peels drawot gniwols neeb dah hcihw ,gnihtaerb siH - ehS .elituf saw tpircsunam eht gniyortsed nees evah dluow ehS .erom erew ereht reh gnillet yb gniht nmad eht devas evah dluoc I ebyaM .ypoc eno eht ylno neeb dah ereht ,reh ot ,os dna ,deyortsed sraC tsaF detnaw dah sekliW einnA .)emas eht dna eno erew yeht citohcysp eht ot tub ecnereffid emos eb thgim ereht citoruen eht ot :ysatnaf ro( lortnoc fo dleif s'tcejbus eht fo edistuo snosrep rehto ro ,snoitautis ,stcejbo ot nosrep elbatsnu eht morf :noitcerid emas eht ni dehcterts lla yeht esuaceb elbatciderp erew senil esehT .thguoht fo senil niatrec edabrof ylpmis oge na hcuS .htaerb dleh htiw detiaw snoillim dlotnu hcihw rof gniht a saw emoctuo eht ;amard taerg a ni gniffats saw ehs ro eh taht evitisop ,reh ro mih nopu erew seye lla taht evitisop ,lla yalrednu oge detcefni dna deffup eht ,ytiralih dna ssenlufreehc evissergga tsomla dna noisserped peed fo sdoirep gnitanretla evah thgim citohcysp enilredrob a hguohtla taht wenk eh dna ,sisohcysp dna sisoruen fo gnidnatsrednu s'namyal a naht erom rehtar dah eh ,yresiM rof sehcraeser sih fo esuaceB .ratlarbiG fo kcoR eht sa dilos sa mih ot demees sekliW einnA fo weiv siht tub ,dnaskciuq no tliub sesuoh ekil eb thgim snoitcuded rehto siH .dneirf ym ,neercs reh dessorc reven tsuj pilb taht . . . sretrauq fo sllor fo elpuoc a dna enihcam xoreX knab a sa gnilddip os gnihtemos yb detiucric-trohs eb thgim od ot gniht reporp eht fo tpecnoc reh taht aedi eht dna ,od ot gniht reporp eht reh ot demees ti gninruB .esoidnarg ylevitisop si hcihw eno tub oge egral a evah tsuj ton seod ehs - flesreh htiw dellif si ehs taht kniht I .deerga htob evah ew kniht I sa ,diputs ehs si rehtieN .retirw a ton s'ehS .ti fo thguoht neve reven ehS .skoob yresiM-non eht neve rof neeb evah uoy sa hcum sa diap gnitteg erew yeht fi dluow yeht tsael ta - evah dluow sretirw net fo tuo enin tub ,t'ndid uoy ,oN .doog syawla ton saw diviv ;meht morf yawa dnim sih tuhs ot deirt dna segami eht tsniaga hteet sih dettirg eh - noitaercnu eht fo llems eht ,sdnuos eht ,semalf eht ,pu gnitaolf segap denekcalb eht fo segamI .t'ndid I .thgir saw hctib ehT .thgir saw ehs dnA .haeY .sraC tsaF fo etacilpud a evah thgim eh taht dnim reh dessorc reven dah ti teY .diputs reh ekam t'ndid stun gnieb tub ,stun saw ehS .evah thgim ehS ?dnuof saw rac sih nehw neppah thgim tahw fo thguoht ehs daH .neeb evah dluoC .yaw taht neeb evah dluoC .seY .gnilggirw dna ekilhctiw dna dehcterw dna dekciw sa hcus sdrow w fo gnikniht yldi ,niaga meht decart eh won dna ,duolc eht fo tuo gnimoc ecnis ereh nial dah eh syad fo nur sseldne eht revo meht htiw railimaf yrev emoceb dah eH .s'W dekcolretni fo oirt a ekam ot demees taht ereht pu skcarc enilriah fo seires enif a saw erehT .gniliec retsalp eht ta dekool dna seye sih denepo luaP .ti sbmotne dna ,noitcerid etisoppo eht ni dedaeh ,yb sevird nam tfihs-dnoces eht ,laernu kool uoy fo tnorf ni yltcerid sgniht eht neve nehw thgiliwt ymrots a fo trap tsepeed eht ni ,retaL .enil-foor eht ot deirub won si ,swodniw eht ot detfird ydaerla ,oramaC ehT .yllug eht otni wons yduolc gninrups wolp eht ,tsap speews eH .eoj fo puc toh a teg dna feiler sih ot revo wolp eht nrut nac eh os nur tsal siht hsinif ot stnaw tsuj eH .taeb s'eh dna krad tsomla s'ti ,sediseb dna ,noisiv-edis sih fo tsom kcolb swolp-gniw ehT .eye sih hctac ot dedaf oot si rekcits repmub ;rac eht ees t'nseod wolp eht gnivird yug ehT .ereht nwod gniht tsethgirb eht tuoba tsuj repmub raer eht no rekcits TNEDISERP ROF TRAH eulb dedaf eht htiw ,oramaC s'nodlehS luaP seil ,egrog yrtnuocpu lacipyt erom a otni nepeed ,ereh morf raf ton ,lliw hcihw epols wollahs a fo mottob eht ta ,thgir sih oT .kcitwollip etihw-dna-eulb fo pac s'namniart denoihsaf-dlo na sraew eh daeh sih no ;seye eht ot deldnub si gnivird nam ehT .yad siht fo dne eht raen wons gnivird eht ni bolb egnaro mid a si wolp ehT .reilrae sruoh owt ylno dehsarc sah eh erehw daor eht pu gnimoc wolp nwot a was dna seye sih revo mra sih tup luaP .esruoc fo ,wons eht ni deiruB ?rac sih saw erehw oS .flesreh yb daor eht ot kcab mih gard enola tel ,mih ot teg ot elbissopmi ro tluciffid ti dnuof evah dluow sekliW einnA ,repeets neeb dah pord eht fI .sliardraug neeb evah dluow ereht ,repeets neeb dah pord eht fI .ecaps ni revo pilf ot rac eht wolla ot edarg hguone tsuj - tahw saw taht ,pord a fo hcum t'nsaw ereht erehw ecalp a ta lortnoc tsol dah eH ?deneppah dah yltcaxe tahw oS .swercdaor detrela evah dluow seriwyug deppans dna sliardraug dehsamS .enon neeb dah ereht eveileb ot reisae ti edam )yttons eb ot detnaw uoy fi ,krowsseug detacude ro( noitcuded ,niaga tuB .ssenkrad neht ,secalp dehctiws dah yks eht dna dnuorg eht yaw gnizama eht neht ,setteragic sih rof gnihcaer rebmemer ylno dluoc eH .t'ndluoc dna rebmemer ot deirt eH ?sliardraug tuoba tahW .gnihton gniod dna ereh gniyl tsuj naht retteb saw ti yaw rehtiE .gnicuded ebyam ,gnisseug ebyaM .nam ,gnisseug ylno er'uoY .no emac taeh eht ,deraeppasid retirw a ekil ytirbelec-isauq a neve - ytirbelec a nehW .sevlesmeht spoc eht yb ylbaborp ,enohp yb ebyam ,skcehcer neeb evah dluow erehT .edaraP ytilanosreP s'ttocS retlaW ni yadnuS eno mih tuoba noitseuq a neeb dah ereht ;)ecrovid tsrif( sU dna )relles-tseb tsrif( elpoeP ni neeb dah eH .hguorht gniwolb tneisnart emos tsuj ,omokoK morf wolB eoJ t'nsaw eH .ylekilnu saw ti mih decnivnoc thguoht eroM .tuo depod emit hguone tneps eh wenk doG .tuo depod saw eh elihw einnA detisiv dah strapretnuoc ro trapretnuoc lautca s'poc yranigami sih ebyaM .ti tuoba wonk t'ndid tsuj eh dna deneppah ydaerla dah taht ekil gnihtemos ebyaM .og dluow eh yawa dnA !reciffo ,lliw ylniatrec I .oot ,seno rehto emoS .enizagam elpoeP ni neeB .nosreP suomaf a etiuq s'eH .nac uoy sa tsaf sa tsuj su htiw hcuot ni teg ll'uoy epoh I ,ma'am ,noitpircsed eht gnittif enoyna ees dluohs uoy fi ,lleW :pu gnitteg dna puc eeffoc eht nwod gnittes ,poc ehT .lla retfa htuos gninrut t'nsaw mrots dlo dab taht em dlot streboR ynoT nehw esahc dluoc I sa kciuq sa tsuj nwot morf kcab emac I ,tcaf nI .luos a ees t'ndid I - reciffo ,on ,yhW .naorg dluohs eh esac nI .desolc eb dluohs moordeb eraps eht dna ereht neewteb srood eht lla taht lufdnim eb dluow einnA ;nehctik eht ni eeffoc poc eht evig dluow einnA ?saw eh ohw nwonk evah neve ton thgim ,lleH ?pu degnub fo tros dekool evah thgiM ?akrap a dna trihs lennalf dekcehc a dna snaej eulb gniraew ylbaborP ?riah ydnas ,dlo sraey owt-ytrof ,nam llaT ?mrots eht fo yad eht daor eht no enoyna gniees rebmemer uoy oD .reven ylbaborp dna ,tsrif ta ton tsael ta ,gnippandik sa ytilibissop ylekilnu na hcus ot dael ot tpa ton saw snoitcuded rieht fo esruoc ehT .yaw elttil a tsael ta teg ot hguone gnorts neeb evah tsum eh ,ereh ton saw eh fi ,taht emussa ylno dluow yehT .deniatsus evah thgim eh seirujni tahw wonk ton dluow yeht esruoc fo tub ,sgel sih fo etats eht gniredisnoc ,hgual a saw tahT - ezad a ni yawa derednaw evah neve yam ,tuo delwarc evah tsuM .mih fo ngis on tub ,draobhsad eht dna staes eht no doolb emos s'erehT .nodlehS luaP deman retirw suomaf a ot sgnoleb hcihw niatnuoM yggubmuH nwod yawflah rac denrutrevo na dnuof ev'eW .gnawt nretsewdiM talf a dah eciov siH .etacilpud ni ecaf nwo sih ees dluow denoitseuq gnieb nosrep eht hcihw ni sessalgnus krad gniraew saw eH .noitaluger naht regnol tib a spahrep snrubedis sih ,yaw dloc a ni emosdnah ,llat saw poc ehT .revo koot won )ylimaf eht fo edis s'rehtom sih no enoyna morf nettog ton dah eh hcihw( noitanigami diviv siH .dnuof eb t'ndluow ti naem t'ndid raf os dnuof neeb t'ndah ti esuaceb tsuj dnA ?srehto evlewt ro net ebyam ,sekliW einnA ,snamdyoR ehT ?epolS nretseW eht fo pot eht ot esolc ereh ,elcric a hcus ni eb ereht dluoc elpoep ynam woh tsuj dnA

    ?yeht t'ndluow ,elcric lacitehtopyh sih ni enoyreve dekcehc evah dluow yeht ,dnuof neeb dah ti fI .emoc t'ndah spoc eht esuaceb dnuof neeb t'ndah rac siH .krab t'ndid taht eno eht - yrots semloH kcolrehS eht ni god eht ekil elttil a lla saw tI .senohp ro ,gulprae na htiw eno tog s'ehs sselnu - lla ta oidar eht ot snetsil reven ,VI no swen eht sehctaw reven ehS . . . swen eht no seirots ,hcraes a detpmorp evah dluow rac ytpme dna dekcerw sih fo yrevocsid ehT .thgis fo tuo deppord neht dah dna redluoB ni neeb dah eh nwohs evah dluow gnikcehc yratnemele elttil a ,eman sih ni deretsiger sgat htiw dnuof neeb dah rac a fi ;nosrep nwonk-llew a saw eH .ton thguoht eH ?ti dnif ecilop eht diD .oot ,elcric taht ni erehwemos s'oramaC yM .rac ym dnA . . . .eb thgim taht llams yllufitip revewoh ,redniwediS nwotnwod dna ,"snamdyoR eht dna ,elcric taht ni saw esuoh s'sekliW einnA .evif-ytrof sa egral sa ro ,selim neetfif sa llams sa eb thgim retemaid esohw elcric a ni saw eH .ylerus ,raf oot toN ?nwot morf raf woh dnA .namdyoR .ti saw tahT .namdyoR ,oN .notnyoB ?eman eht saw tahW .reh ekil t'ndid ,dias einnA ,ohw srobhgien eht morf selim erew yehT .tliuq a ekam ot rehtegot deceip eb yam hcihw htolc fo seceip ekil sgniht detalosi . . . sgnihT .detaercnu neht dna detaerc dah eh hcihw koob eht naht tuoba kniht ot reisae saw tI .won reisae elttil a demees tI .ni saw eh noitautis eht tuoba thguoht dna epod eht no detaolf eH .emac peels on emit gnol a rof tuB

    ".luaP ,peels emos teg woN .worromot eno rehto eht uoy wohs ll'I" .tuo ylffits kcuts stser-gel leets sti htiw renroc eht ni dedoorb hcihw riahcleehw eht ta detniop ehS .dekaorc eh "?uoy diD" .pu gnitteg ,dias ehs ",nwot ni stneserp owt uoy thguob I" .ssalg eht ydaets ot tsirw reh gnidloh ,meht dewollaws eH .emit siht seluspac owt - noitacidem sih mih evag ehS ".ereH" .sdnah nwo reh no senil fo nrettap eht spahrep ro bonkrood eht naht erom on ta ylknalb gnizag ,deggulpnu ,ffo denrut ,elibommi ,ni emac yllautca ehs erofeb emit gnol a rof yawllah eht ni rood moordeb eht edistuo tsuj gnidnats reh desnes eH .duolc krad eht morf degreme dah eh ecnis ylduol os maercs ot elba gnieb rebmemer ton dluoc eh esuaceb ,mih rof gnihtemos enod evah tsum doof eht - ylduol yrev demaercs eH .ydob sih fo flah rewol eht ni desool neeb dah seeb fo mraws a fi sa tlef ti won tub - peets ot ymrA naissurP eht flah tup evah ot maertsdoolb sih ni tihs hguone htiw ton - ti gniod saw eh elihw tib a mih derehtob t'ndah gnittiS .lirvoN elgnis a neve rof skoob sih lla denrub evah dluow eh dna deb ni kcab saw eh retal sruoh ruoF

    .ecno ylnO .einnA ,ecno ylno tuB "!ssendooG" yas dna spil ruoy kcil ot ecnahc a uoy evig ll'I ,nac I fI .taorht ruoY :thguoht dna ,ylbmuh dias eh ",einnA ,uoy knahT" ".tsaot emos evah uoy tel ot gniog ma I ,yrgnuh leef llits dna niap hcum oot gnivah ton er'uoy fi ,neht dna ,uoy dlo ytsan egnahc ot gniog m'I enod s'taht nehw dna ,deb dlo ytsan ruoy egnahc ot gniog m'I woN .enif tsuj dnem ll'uoy eveileb I . . . spmetertnoc eseht . . . eseht fo erom yna evah t'nod ew fi tub - on ,sala - "wen sa dooG" yas ton lliw eW .dnem ot gniog era uoy eveileb I .luaP ,puos taht koot uoy llew woh ees ot desaelp m'I" .dias ehs "!dehsiniF" .gnorts eb tsum ehs tsirhC .thgiew daeD .em detfiL .thguoht eh ,tuo deknoc saw I elihw ti ni em tup ehS .noitisop wen eht htiw yppah yrev ton dna nellows ylbatrofmocnu gnileef aera civlep sih ,mih fo tnorf ni tuo ylffits kcuts sgel detnirps sih ,ti ni gnittis saw eH .riahcleehw pu-dedlof a neeb dah trac gnippohs eht taht dezilaer eh won tub ,ffo detfird dah eH .deppots reven tsuj toir ffal eht ,esuohnuf eht ni devil uoy nehW .daehraw raelcun a ro retem gnikrap a worromot ebyam ;strac gnippohs ,seucebraB .lla retfa ,sekliW einnA htiw gnitisiv saw eh ;rednow ron esirprus rehtien leef ot mih desuac dah aedi ehT .trac gnippohs a eb thgim thguoht dah eh ,etats gnidaf dna deggurd sih ni ,hcihw gnihtemos ni gnileehw neht dna eucebrab gnikoms ,retsinis eht tuo gnileehw reh fo yromem eugav a dah eH .dewollaws dna depruls eh sa yrgnuh ssel naht rehtar erom worg ot gnimees ,htuom sih otni ti noops dluoc ehs sa tsaf sa tser eht koot eH .ecnart citonpyh a morf tug sih denekawa dah puos fo lufnoops tsrif taht fi sa saw tI .weiv otni gnitsrub emac seirgnuH eht toG I - !nemeltneg dna seidal ,nees reve sah recnuonna siht kcabemoc gnizama tsom eht - erehwon fo tuo ,ylnedduS .gninword morf peek ot dewollaws eH .taorht sih nwod puos toh gnipmud ,htuom sih ni saw noops eht yletaidemmI .ti morf gnilgnad kcolb tnemec a dah ti fi sa tlef dil hcaE ,nepo seye sih decrof eH ".ekas s'doG rof ,ffo ti knay t'noD !yaK" .derettum eh ",yaK" .ti gnihcnip saw ehS .ebolrae siH !gnizzzzZ " . . . ro tae ot hguone ti fo tuo emoc ot tog ev'uoY !luaP ,taE" .yawa llup ot yrt dna enihw mih gnikam ,daeh sih fo edis tfel eht tsniaga dezzub tI .niap fo ecnerrucer a yb dewollof saw siht dna ,niaga dias ehs "!taE" . . . retal pu gnittis tuoba kniht dluoc eh ,edir ot tfel sevaw erew ereht elihw sevaw eht edir ot gniog saw eh os dna reverof tuo og thgim ti tuo tnew ti emit txen eht dna ni emoc yllanif dah edit ehT .derevoc erew sgnilip ehT .ni saw edit ehT .niaga tuhs pils seye sih tel dna ,thguoht eh ?tihs a sevig ohW .pu gnittis yllautca . . . oot ,gnittis saw eh snoe dlotnu ni emit tsrif eht rof taht esirprus tnatsid ,yraelb htiw dezilaer eH .reh gnicaf ,reh htiw level a no yllautca saw eh emit tsrif eht rof - mih ediseb gnittis reh was dna seye sih denepo eH .niap gnignits tlef eh dna ,yawa raf morf dias ehs ",taE"

    .reh llik ot gniog m'I :gnikniht ,kcab yal dna meht dewollaws eH .htuom sih otni seluspac dehsup dna pu mih tas ehS .gnimmuh saw ehs ,ylbidercnI .kcab emac sekliW einnA ,elihwa retfA .dnop hsikcarb a ni gnitaolf gol fo pmul derrahc a ekil dekool taht gnihtemos was dna top eucebrab eht otni dekool eH .emit lanif eno woble sih no pu teg ot deganam eh tfel ehs nehW .ymaerc wohemos tey dna derrahc ,lufwa dna tew saw llems ehT .maets fo emulp a dna gnissih suortsnom a saw erehT .top eucebrab eht otni retaw fo tekcub eht deruop ylluferac ehs "!ssendooG" rehtona htiW .reh dediced taht dna ,erif eulb wol fo slirdnet elttil htiw gninnur llits eno siht ,pu detfaw egap rehtonA .evol ot emoc dluoc eh kool a saw tI .denethgirf saw ehs nehw ekil dekool sekliW einnA tahw saw siht - erusaelp esnetni fo tnatsni na tlef luaP ,niap sih fo esiv gnizeeuqs eht ni thguac nevE .yas dluoc ehs lla eb ot demees tI "!ssendooG !ssendooG" .hserfa meht dekcils dna tuo detrad eugnot reh ,dehctaw luaP sA .tips htiw tew dna gnilbmert erew spil reH .lla ta nworht eb ot dedeen ti ro ti worht ot erehw ediced ot gniyrt ,dnuora gnikool dna retaw fo tekcub eht gnidloh ,niaga dias ehs "!ssendooG" .top eht egde eht revo derekcilf dna deppilf semalF .dewasees dna esor ti sa egap dezinobrac hcae fo esruoc eht ecart ot gniyrt ecno ta erehwyreve trad ot gniyrt seye ,kcab emac einnA .rehto eht ro yaw eno ,erac yllaer t'ndid eH .smra sih no dednal emoS .deb eht no nwod detfis hsA .nrub etteragic a ekil eloh ynit a gnivael ,tuo tnew neht dna ecno dekniw taht - erif no hctac ot gniog saw moor eht spahrep fi rednow ot emit dah eh - kraps feirb a saw erehT .sniatruc yzuag eht fo ro no dnal dna moor eht ssorca taolf tpircsunam fo eceip krad a dehctaw yldi eH .liaproolf eht otni duht spat but eht morf retaw draeh eH .moor eht morf derebmul einnA .ria detaeh eht no eucebrab eht morf pu gnitfaw erew repap fo stib derrahc taht was dna seye sih denepo eH .demrala ,deirc ehs "!ssendooG" .taeh gnikab ,llud eht gnileef ,dnuos gnilkcarc eht ot gninetsil ,tuhs seye ,kcab denael eH .kcits eht dnuora gniyd dna gniknirhs fo daetsni daerps emalf eht emit sihT .tpircsunam fo elip eht fo renroc eht ot hctam eht dehcuot dna ,os did eh sa sgel sih ni swasdnah ytsur gninekawa ,niaga revo nael ot deganam wohemos eh oS .dnah sih ni ti tup dna hctam rehtona dehctarcs ehS ".tuo tnew tI" .seye sih denepo eh ,yliraeW .mih gnigdun saw ehS .rettam t'ndid tI .eromyna rettam t'ndid I .top eht otni hctam eht pord dna revo nael ot elba saw eh wohemoS .dnah sih ni ti tup dna hctam rehtona til ehS .pu ti detimov evah dluow eh desoppus eh ,hcamots sih neeb ecno dah taht llehs-tunlaw .elknirw eht ni gnihtyna neeb dah ereht fi dna ,ylsuoiriled hguoht eh ,moorkaolc s'lived eht ekil sllemS .repap denrub dna sehctam fo knats moor ehT .denrub ydaerla dah eh segap eht fo slruc kcalb ypsirc eht nwod gnihcnurc ,top eht otni tpircsunam eht fo tser eht tes dna llirg eht devomer ehS ".regnol yna tuo ti ward t'now I dna od sgel ruoy sa yldab sa tsomla uoy struh siht wonk I dna trops laer a dna yob doog a neeb ev'uoY" .denrub saw riap htnin eht nehw ,dias ehs ",woN" .daer dah ehs sa raf sa tsael ta ,seitinaforp eht tuo kcalb ot rekram cigam a desu dah ehs taht was eH .ykcul saw delbuod enin dna ,rewop fo rebmun a saw ,dias ehs ,enin esuaceb tpircsunam eht ni stniop suoirav morf segap fo sriap enin dna ,egap tsal eht ,egap tsrif eht mub mih edam ehS

    .koob sih denrub eh oS ".esoohc uoy sa od nac uoY" :dias dna mih erofeb ylbavommi sehctam eht dleh ehS ".siht od em ekam t'nod esaelp ,einnA" :duol ton tub ylraelc ,dias dna sekliW einnA ta dekool eH .nugeb yenruoj fo gnileef yvren lufyoj suollevram eht ,syawla sA .llaw knalb a otni gnitarelecca fo ,hsinif ot elba gnieb ton fo rorret eht ,syawla sA .etirw ot detnaw eh sa llew sa etirw ton dluow eh taht egdelwonk mulg eht ,syawla sA .thgil thgirb htiw dellif eloh a otni gnillaf ekil saw taht gnileef a ,gnitrats fo feiler desselb eht ,syawla sA .nwod gnittis derebmemer eH .ssam ot lufhtiaf eht gnillac lleb hcruhc a fo gnillot suonotonom eht ,yltniaf ,dna ,ciffart kroY weN gniraeh derebmemer eh ;did ecivres gninaelc eht boj a fo dnik tahw uoy dewohs ,shtnom eerht lluf a enog neeb dah ehs dna ,yad eht ni reilrae noihsuc afos a rednu sarb s'naoJ fo eno gnidnif derebmemer eH .sniap robal eht erew ereh dna ,divarg ,gib naht erom ,koob htiw gib ,moor ot moor morf tnemtrapa eht dnuora gniklaw derebmemer eH .oidar eht no eidlO nedloG thgir eht ekil kcab yad taht thguorb ti hO "".revird tsaf a ma I tub ,renrael wols a ma I dna" ,spets eht nwod gnimoc trig eht ot pu gniklaw ,dias orasanoB ynoT ",sleehw on evah t'nod I'" :esuohnwot kroY weN eht ni ,oga shtnom ruof-ytnewt emos gnitirw derebmemer eh sdrow ,llirg eht no sraC tsaF fo egap tsrif eht dial won ehS ".gnidnatsrednu ruoy fo lobmys a sa - luaP ,segap elgnis eht fo wef a mub tsum uoy tuB" .dias ehs ",ti fo krow kciuq ekam ll'ew ,oN" " - t'nac I" .dias eh ",reverof ekat ot gniog si sihT" .llirg eht ni spag eht hguorht ti dekop ehs ,pu lruc ot nageb egap eht nehw dna ,emit siht reh htiw krof eucebrab a dah ehS .deplug neht ,detsat emalf eht sa ,detanicsaf ,dehctaw dna top eht otni llaf hctam eht tel neht dna repap eht fo remoc eht ot ti dehcuot eh dna dnah sih ni hctam til eht tup dna hctam eht til dna xob eht koot einnA oS .dnah sih fo tuo gnillaf ro pirts hguor eht gnissim tpek ti esuaceb t'ndluoc dna spiT eulB eht fo eno thgil ot deirt eH .llirg eht no egap eltit eht dial ehS .sehctam eht koot eh retal ruoh na kcab emac ehs nehW

    .mra reh rednu tpircsunam eht htiw moor eht tfel ehs dna ,kcab emoc dah ehs ecnis emit tsrif eht rof denekrad ecaf reh dna ,neht hgual ot nageb eH ".lliw eerf nwo ruoy fo ti od tsum uoy" ,ylmirp dias ehs ",esuaceB" "?ton yhW" ".leef uoy ynoga eht uoy eraps dna ot ekil dluow I sa hcum sa ,taht od tonnac I" ,dias ehs ",oN" .mih ta dekool dna denrut ehS .reh ta delley eh "!neht ,ti nrub uoY" " - y degnahc ev'uoy fi ees dna tib a ni yb pord ll'I .ereh kcab teg ot gniyrruh ,ruoh na ylraen rof gnivird neeb ev'I ,lla retfA !ot ekil thgim I sa hcum sa ,thgin lla deb ruoy yb tis t'nac I dna ,yas tsum I ,yob elttil nrobbuts yrev a era uoY !lleW" .pu doots ehs sa sgnirpsdeb fo kaerc eht saw erehT !HTURT GNIKCUF EHT tuoba wenk uoy tahW !hturt ehT :enil mottob laer eht saw tahw dnA !krow "sraey owT !sevil eviF !sdrow dnasuoht ytenin dna derdnuh A :ssenkrad eht otni ffo gniliaw tnew ,flesti esotamoc-raen ,won gniliaf ,trap rehtona teY .rovivrus eht ,tsinutroppo eht ekops oS !emadleb gnikcuf uoy ,tnaw uoy tahw s'taht fi ti no ekun lacitcat a pord ll'I !mlapan fo daol a dna yeuH ybaB a em eviG !hcrotwolb a em eviG !sehctam eht em eviG !seY .yawa denord eciov reH " . . . fo tol a dah evah I dna ,won etats esotamoc-raen a ni era uoy eveileb I ;gnol oot erofeb amoc a otni og yam uoy taht tcepsus rehtar I hguohtlA .yad lla tiaw nac I .gnitiaw m'I ?luaP" !ti htiw hguorht og ot tnaem yllaer yeht was eh nehw detnacer oelilaG nevE !pu esiw ,no emoc ,no emoC ?keewsweN ,elcaro yraretil taerg taht rof ti deweiver eh nehw rennam gnigarapsid leetneg tsenif sih ni nopu tihs dluow ttocserP reteP hcihw dna ,etorw reve uoy koob yresiM lufsseccus tsael eht sa seipoc ynam sa flah lles dluow taht koob a rof reffus dna ereh eil ,od ot gniog uoy era tahw oS .yawyna tpircsunam eht nrub ll'ehs neht dna eid ll'uoy tuo dloh uoy fI .tuo dloh nac uoy ro stnaw ehs tahw od nac uoY ?yrevarb ruoy no ecneidua emos yb dedarg gnitteg era uoy dna wohs VT a ro eivom a si siht kniht uoy oD ?sserpmi ot gniyrt uoy era eman s'tsirhC ni ohw dna tca egdirb-eht-ta-oitaroH elohssa siht gniod uoy era eman s'tsirhC ni yhw hO ".luaP ,gnitiaw m'I" "!oN" "?luaP" .xob rieht ni sehctam eht fo elffuhs ydoow eht neht ecnelis - sretsilb rieht ni seluspac eht fo elttar tniaf ehT .debbos eh "!oN" "?luaP" .laer erew yehT .ton erew sllip ehT .swodahs erew sevil ehT .sllip maddog eht evah ot dah eH .sllip ehT .sllip ehT .dessap tnemom hcae sa elbasnepsid erom gnidnif saw eh taht sevil evif dna sdrow 000,091 ,tuoba ylpeed derac dah nodlehS luaP eerf-niap dna llew a taht sevil evif dna sdrow 000,091 - tpircsunam eht no selkcunk reh deppord einnA sa spmuht llud kciuq eerhT ".enim gniod ma I sA .ytud reh seod ehs os dna ,thgir s'ehs swonk ehs tuB .won gniyrc era uoy sa ,yawa nekat neeb s'tahw rof seirc eh fi ro naem s'ehs syas dlihc reh nehw yldab sleef rehtom ehT" .yawa gniward erofeb ,noissapmoc htiw ,ylfeirb redluohs sih dezeeuqs neht dna ,kcen sih fo edis eht ssorca ,keehc sih nwod deliart sregnif ehT .worb toh sih morf yawa riah sih dehsurb dnah reH ""!naem er'uoy ,ymmoM" ,syas tsuj eH .noitacude ruoy evah t'nseod eh esuaceb ,esruoc fo ,yaw taht ti yas t'nseod eH .knis eht rednu morf diulf gninaelc eht htiw gniyalp mih sees dna nehctik eht otni semoc ymmom nehw skniht dlihc a tahw s'tahT !seY !sey hO" .ssendas gniwonk fo senotrednu sti htiw ,hgual tnegludni eht tog dna egar detcepxe eh niagA .dias eh ",lived eht er'uoY" .sretsilb tnerapsnart depahs-egnezol rieht ni seluspac etihw eht ,erauqs draobdrac gnineddam ,gnicitne eht morf yawa - niaga reh morf yawa dellor eH .ti tib eh os dna !yako ,seY !seY yas ot detnaw eugnot siH ".yrros m'I .gnihton od nac I ,luaP ,ti nrub uoy litnu tuB .tsaot derettubnu emos spahreP .puos emos uoy evig nac I dna yrgnuh eb lliw uoy neht yB .uoy egnahc osla ll'I dna - elbatrofmocnu eb tsum ti dna ,ti tew ev'uoy ees I - gniddeb ruoy egnahc lliw I ,flesruoy fo dloh tog ev'uoy nehw dna ,niaga eneres leef ot nigeb lliw uoY .yawa og lliw niap eht dna - kniht I ,eseht fo ruof lla - seluspac eht uoy evig ll'I nehT" .dias ehs ",ti nrub uoy nehW" .hcaer sih fo tuo draobdrac eht dellup ehS .debbarg eH .skcap-retsilb ni seluspac ruof erew gninraw eht woleB .NOITPIRCSERP S'NAICISYHP TUOHTIW DESNEPSID EB OT TON daer eman edart eht woleb tsuj srettel der eht ,ELPMAS .srettel eulb thgirb ni pot eht ssorca detnirp LIRVON drow eht htiw erauqs sdraobdrac a tuo gnidloh saw ehs meht denepo eh nehW .seye sih desolc eH ".ti od t'now I" ".erofeb lla ti draeh ev'I .tnaw uoy ytinaforp eht lla esU" "!timmaddog oN" ".seY" "!oN" ".seY" ".oN" .htrof dna kcab ylffits daeh sih koohs eH ".sehctam eht ekat ,woN .pleh elttil a si deen uoy llA .luaP ,doog era uoy - ti ees I nehw doog wonk od I ,lla fo dnoceS .doog ton tub ,thgim livE .ffo eson ym etib ton dluow doog" ,dias ehs ",lla fo tsriF" ?niod ay woH !yawa yats ot dnats t'ndluoC :dnah ni sgab ,tnemom yna ta yldetcepxenu kcab evirra dluoc ti ,sekliW einnA gniwonk ,thguoht luaP ,tuB .noitacav no enog yltnerappa dah repmet reH .yltneg dehgual ehS .gnirac ton ,delley eh "!ffo eson ruoy tib dna pu deklaw ti fi doog wonk t'ndluow uoY" ".doog on osla s'ti ,edisa tahT .yhtlif s'tI .seY" .reh morf yawa ecaf gninrub sih gninrut ,dias eh ",oN" .mlac dna raelc llits saw ecaf reH .pal reh no yal ,tsompot egap eltit eht htiw dnoB llimremmaH etihw naelc ,tpircsunam ehT .mih ot sehctam eht tuo gnidloh ,deilper ehs ",seY" - srallod derdnuh ysuol eht detsevni tsuj dah eh fi ,denetsil tsuj dah eh fi dna ,ecalpemos sraC tsaF fo ypoc rehtona eb thgim ereht taht dnim reh dessorc neve reven yltnerappa dah ti ecneconni reh nI .einnA enacirruH saw ereh ;eno m pu dellor lla retsasid larutan eht dna xnij eht saw ereh ,lleW .od ot gniht xnij a demees seipoc gnikam taht tsuj saw ti :nosaer lanoitar on rof ,desufer yltnatsnoc dah eH .retsasid larutan rehto emos ro doolf a ro odanrot a eb thgim ereht ;esuohnwot kroY weN eht ro ,erif no hctac dluoc odaredluoB eht ,lla retfa ;edisa ti tup dna krow sih fo ypoc eno tsael ta ekam ot ton yzarc saw eh mih dlot syawla dah - rehtom sih neve ,lleh ,seviw-xe sih fo htob ,ecyrB - elpoeP .redluoB ni deipocotohp tpircsunam eht dah evah dluoc eh skcub derdnuh a naht ssel rof :dica ekil mih ni denrub ,mih ta dekrow thguoht enO .gnikahs dna gniyrc ,dias eh ",oN"

    .yawyna gninaom dna naom ot ton gniyrt ,niap ni denoococ ,deb ni yal eH .lla ta eciton on koot ehS .demaercs eh "!oN" .rood eht rof dedaeh dna pu tog ehS ".kcab thgir eb ll'I .od ot boj a evah uoy tsrif tub" ,dias ehs ,niap ruoy eveiler dna noitacidem ruoy uoy evig lliw I" .ylngineb mih ta dekool ehs siht fo lla gniruD .mih hguorht desruoc spmarc-redduhs sa tuo deirc neht ,deprub ,esroh a ekil depruls eH .swollaws eerht rehtona mih evag ehS .retaw fo ssalg eht no dexif erew seye sih ;yawyna reh gniraeh ylerab saw luaP tub ,eohs sa wehs dias ehS "".og tsum eh yaw eht mih wehs yam uoy os ,mih deraps evah I .eb ton lliw eH" ,dias doG tuB ".kcab teg I nehw daed eb yam nodlehS luaP ,doG raeD" ,dias I .deyarp I oS .seod syawla eH .sreyarp srewsna eH dna ,wonk uoy ,doG a si erehT .deyarp I oS .tuoba em gniksa tpek yeht semit esoht lla saw I erehw rebmemer t'ndluoc I yhw s'tI .taht tpecca I .taht wonk I ,yddum netfo era sthguoht ym ;erus yleritne ton saw I .llew thguoht ev'I epoh I dna ,ylpeed thguoht evah I .kniht dna yawa teg ot dah I" .noisserpxe lanretam tey nrets taht htiw mih ta gnikool ,dias ehs ",em ot netsil tsum uoy tub ,si ti wonk I" " - dab os si niap eht em pleh esaelp ekas s'doG rof ,esaelp ,einnA ,esaelp - niap - seluspac ehT" .ytlas woh ,neeb dah ti toh woh ,ssip nwo sih gniknird rebmemer yleugav dluoc eH .eugnot sih dekcus neht dna meht revo eugnot sih nar dna spil sih ta dekcus eH .gnihguoc ,dias eh ",ffuts ehT" .swollaws erom owt dewolla dna mih ot kcab ti evag ehs tib a retfA ".timov ll'uoy ro ,emit a ta elttil A .luaP ,oN" .dias ehs ",oN" .tuo sdnah gnikahs sih gnidloh ,ti rof delwem eH .mih morf yawa ti werd ehs neht dna ,erow eh trihs-eet eht otno dna nihc sih nwod gnillips ti fo emos ,retaw eht fo kcohs eht ta gniromalc dna gninediw eugnot sih fo nialp dna eht no serop eht ,slufhtuom tsaf eerht koot eH .gnikohc tuohtiw knird ot hguone pu tis dluoc eh os kcen sih fo kcab eht no srood-fo-tuo eht morf looc llits dnah a tup dna ,dias ehs ",siht ekaT" .retaw fo ssalg llat a - retaw fo ssalg a dleh ehs dnah reh nI .lleps yrd raey-net a retfa dekcuf tog tsuj ohw wodiw a ekil skool ehS :thguoht dah nodlehS luaP lanoitar eht ytiralc evitaulave dna ytinas fo dlohgnorts lanif emos morF .tah deggirps eht dna skeehc dehsulf reh erew nopu xif dluoc eh segami raelc ylno eht retal enecs taht rebmemer ot deirt eh nehw dna ,eb dluoc reve sekliW einnA sa ytterp ot esolc sa saw ehS .yticaviv dna efil htiw delkraps seye reh dna hgih saw roloc reH .revneD ni dnats eht no gniraew reh denigami dah eh tiftuo fo tros eht yltcaxe saw ti - tah deggirps a dna sserd eulb-krad a gniraew saw ehs taht saw ylraelc was eh gniht eno ehT .ytilaernu fo llew gninepeed a morf gnimoc ti fo lla ,nekorb ti fo lla ,daelp dna geb dna naom ot nageb eh dna revo koot - lavivrus eturb erem ro - ytilaer neht tub ,maerd a eb tsum ehs taht tsrif ta thguoht eh ni emac ehs nehW

    .eid ot ylno gnitiaw dna ylsseldne gnitsiwt ,yawyna ,gnihtemos - kooh a no mrow a ro edils epocsorcim a no eussit gnivil fo ecils a naht erom gnihton ekil leef ot nageb eh dna )ecnis gnol tsud eht ni tfel neeb dah seirgnuH eht toG I( esroh elgnis eno otni degrem ytsrihT ytterP dna niaP fo gniK won ;ytroF ruoH dna ,emac ytrihT ruoH daetsni ;denilced ssensuoicsnocnu tub ,mih eveiler dna emoc dluow ssensuoicsnocnu gnikniht tpek eH .part yrd a ni tar a ,ereh ni eid dluow eh daed saw ehs fI .ti gniwonk neve tuohtiw gniyd ,llaberif a otni gnitsrub dna ecno gnittiH .nwod dna nwod dna nwoD .daor eht fo edis eht ffo thgir gnivird dna knalb gniog )"!ylimaf eht fo edis YM morf ti teg t'nseod eH"( neht dna ,tsaf oot gniog ,ylmirg gnivird reh was eH !ris ,sey ,hO ?elbissop taht saW ?tnedicca na rO .eciton rehto on koot tub . . . mih htiw demaercs dniw ehT .demaercs neht ,denaom neht ,delkcac eH .reggirt eht dellup dna ,sraet fo niar a hguorht deirc einnA "!dlrow leurc ,eybdooG .evil ot tnaw t'nod I daed yresiM htiW" .flesreh gnitoohs dna ,htuom reh ni ti gnittup ,taes eht rednu morf 44. a gnikat ,eisseB dlO ni daor eht fo edis eht ot revo gnillup )"diviv oS"( reh was eH .sevil nwo rieht koot yltneuqerf elpoep elbatsnu dna ,elbatsnu ylpeed saw ehS .daed saw ehs eveileb ot nageb eH .gnihtyna meht llet ot hguone gnol devil eh fi ,tuoba elpoep llet ton dluow eh denokcer eh esle gnihtemos saw ereH .smlap tew sih dekcit neht dna dloh ot deganam dah eh tahw knard dna gnilcycer sa ti fo kniht ot deirt eH .sdnah gnikahs dna deppuc sih otni ti hguorht detaniru dna ,retlif edurc a etaerc ot gnipoh ,sinep sih revo teehs pot eht dial eH .etaniru ot dah eH .llef thgiN "yawa dessap yaD .dezod ,ekow ,dezod eH .yawa dehsad dah ehs retaw fo rehctip eht fo kniht ot nageb eH .truh gniwollawS .egral oot ,kciht tlef eugnot siH .tnegru erom mees ot nageb ti won tub ,emit gnol a rof taorht dna htuom sih ni ssenyrd fo erawa neeb dah eH .evom sti edam ytsrihT ytterP ,yad dnoces eht fo kcolc'o ruof dnuorA .enog saw niap lla litnu ,saw ti sa cifirret ,niap fo level siht tpecca ot retteb ,ereh eid ,ereh eil ot retteB .deb fo tuo gnillor oN .pu kcab steknalb eht dellup eh ,gniyrc ,gninaoM .dezirevlup neeb dah yehT .tuo denrut ti sa ,os ton saw tahT .derettahs eb thgim sgel rewol sih thguoht dah eH .sesiurb gnidaf htiw delttom llits lla erew ,sinep sih neve ,hctorc ,shgiht siH .drawtuo ylthgils dewob evah ot demees dna nellows yldab erew sgel reppu siH .emod-tlas a ekil dekool taht elddim eht ni hcnub gninekcis a neht dna ,hgiht a dna ,flac a saw erehT .lla ta tsixe ot demees regnol on - niap fo sucof gnibborht a eenk tfel siH .ereht drawni g*****j ,ereh drawtuo gninrut ,seenk sih ot pu ylegnarts derednaem sevlesmeht sgel ehT .bmot sih ni derevocsid neeb dah eh nehw peT-oH-mI ekil tib a dekool eh nwod seenk eht morf taht os ,depat ylsuounerts neeb dah sdor ehT .sehcturc munimula fo sniamer dewaskcah eht ekil dekool taht sdor leets mils htiw delcric erew sgel htob fo strap rewol ehT .htiw ti enod dah ehs tahw nwonk ton dah eh won litnu tub ,sepahs gnivignu digir eht tlef ,taht nwonk dah eh esruoc fo - meht detnilps dah ehS .seitingidni lufniap ylgnikeirhs derdnuh a flah ot detcejbus dna ,deluahrevo ylsselicrem dna ,leets htiw dennip dna ,secalp lareves ni spahrep ,nekorber neeb dah sgel sih fo hcae litnu ton ylerus dna - niaga klaw reven llew thgim eh tub . . . elbissop yllacinhcet saw ti desoppus eh tub ,etomer erom reve demees os gniod rof stcepsorp eht ;siht fo tuo teg thgim eh dna ,ereh saw mih fo tser ehT "?em fo tser eht s'erehW" gnikeirhs ,waR s'gniK ni nagaeR dlanoR fo eciov eht draeh eh dnim sih nI .seenk eht woleb emoceb dah eh tahw ta rorroh htiw derats eH .esrow saw ti ;dab sa t'nsaw tI .saw ti tseggus ot demees edam steknalb eht sepahs eht sa dab sa t'nsaw ti taht epoh tsniaga gnipoh ,emit tsrif eht rof sdnah sih htiw steknalb eht kcab dehsup eh noitarepsed nI ?ereht eil dna ,ekil-lians ,ti ot ssorca lwarc sediseb od eh dluoc tahW .rood eht dekcol dah ehs tub ,yawyna deirt evah thgim eH .leef dluow ti woh )"!diviv oS"( llew oot lla enigami dluoc eH .mih derreted yltnatsnoc niap fo noitalacse gniynapmocca eht dna pord eht dna pmuht eht fo thguoht eht tub ,deb fo tuo teg ot gniyrt fo thguoht eH .eno naht syaw erom ni seluspac eht dedeen eH .detnaw uoy fi ,egneveR s'eiknuJ esroh siht llaC .lawardhtiw saw tI .truh mih gnikam osla saw esle gnihtemos ,saw sivlep dna sgel sih ni niap eht sa dab sa ,taht ezilaer eh - ruoF-ytnewT ruoH - yad dnoces eht fo noon yB .gnimaercs sselesu fo tuob a otni despal dah eh eerht dnuorA .revo saw gnitruh eht meht roF .sgniht ykcul eht erew yehT .doow eht fo stfelc eht ni ylpmil gniyl sgniht denword elap ees dluoc ,meht detsurcne hcihw selcanrab eht ees dluoc eH .werg dna werg sgnilip ehT .teg dluoc gnitruh dab woh aedi yna dah reven d'eH .ti fo tuo eb ot gnihtynA .gniyd saw eh epoh ot nageb eh elihwa retfA .gniyd saw eh erus ,taews dloc a ni gnikaw dna gnizod yletanretla thgin eht fo hcum tneps dah eH .yenom sih rof nur feirb a niaP fo gniK evag yllautca seirgnuH eht toG I ,tfel dah ehs retfa yad eht no pu-nus dnuora ,nehT .tsud eht ni tsol ylraen saw ytsrihT ytterP .kcab sgnolruf evlewt emos saw seirgnuH eht toG I dna dael eht ni raf saw niaP fo gniK tsrif tA .ecar esroh a ekil gnihtemos emaceb tI .niap eht hguorht neve - tsriht dna regnuh leef ot nageb eh elihwa retfA .dnuora emac ruoh eht emit hcae mih ekow kcolc eht fo gnimihc ehT .tpels yllaer reven tub ,dezod dah eH .ruoh elgnis a dessim dah eh eveileb t'ndid eH .elbmert ot nageb sdnah sih sa deggaj ylgnisaercni werg ,tsrif ta taen ,spuorg elttil ehT .artxe eno dna evif fo spuorg net erew ereht kcab emac ehs nehW .tetniuq eht laes ot hsals lanogaid a neht dna skram lacitrev ruof - mra sih no kram a edam eh demihc kcolc eht emit yrevE .ti gans dna nwod hcaer ot elba neeb dah eH .hsarc eht fo emit eht ta tekcop sih ni gniyrrac neeb dah eh reniL-eniF rialF eht ,nep eht fo esuaceb gnol woh tsuj wenk eH .sruoh eno-ytfiF

    .erehw dna nehw dna ,mohw teem dluow ohw dna ,slacirtaeht tuoba ,sllab txen dna tsal eht tuoba klat llams tnacifingisni otni pu ekorb noitasrevnoc eht etodcena eht retfA .tsrubtuo elbaimanu dna tnasaelpnu s'erreiP gnidne ylbaeerga os ni tcat laicos s'etyloppiH ecnirP detaicerppa srehto eht dna anvolvaP annA llits ,naissuR ni dlot eb ot dah ti yhw ro ,ti dlot dah eh yhw elbigilletninu saw ti hguohT .dedne etodcena eht os dnA

    "....wenk dlrow elohw eht dnA" :rethgual fo spsag neewteb ,no tnew dna regnol on flesmih niatnoc dluoc eh ereH "....nwod emac riah gnol reh dna tah reh tsol lrig ehT .dniw taerg a saw ereht ylnedduS .tnew ehS"

    .elims revewoh did ,anvolvaP annA dna ydal ylredle eht meht gnoma ,snosrep lareveS .rotarran eht ot elbarovafnu tceffe na decudorp hcihw ,ecneidua sih erofeb gnol gnihgual tuo tsrub dna derettulps etyloppiH ecnirP ereH

    "'.sllac emos ekam I elihw em htiw emoc dna ,egairrac eht dniheb pu teg ,yrevil a no tup' ,diam eht ot ',lriG' ,dias ehS !sey hO ...dias ehS"

    .ytluciffid htiw saedi sih gnitcelloc yltnedive ,desuap etyloppiH ecnirP ereH

    "...dias ehS .gib osla ,diam s'ydal a dah ehs dnA .etsat reh saw tahT .seno gib yrev dna ,egairrac reh dniheb nemtoof owt evah tsum ehS .ygnits yrev si ehs dna ,emad enu ,ydal a wocsoM ni si erehT"

    .yrots sih ot noitnetta rieht dnamed eh did ylregae dna yllacitahpme os ,detiaw enoyrevE .aissuR ni raey a tuoba gnidneps retfa kaeps dluow namhcnerF a sa naissuR hcus ni yrots sih llet ot nageb etyloppiH ecnirP dnA "....tsol eb lliw tniop eht ro naissuR ni ti llet tsum I--etmociV ,em esucxE .ti ot uoy taert tsum dna yadot yrots wocsoM gnimrahc a dlot saw I"

    :nageb detaes eb ot lla meht gniksa dna ,dnetta ot enoyreve ot sngis gnikam pu detrats etyloppiH ecnirP ylnedduS


    .og ot emit saw ti taht efiw sih ot ngis a edam dna esor ,skramer s'erreiP fo ssendrawkwa eht nwod enot ot dehsiw yltnedive dah ohw ,werdnA ecnirP

    ".yfitsuj ot tluciffid si ti hcihw stca rehto era ereht tub ...tub ;nekcirts-eugalp eht ot dnah sih evag eh erehw affaJ ta latipsoh eht ni dna ,alocrA fo egdirb eht no taerg saw nam a sa noelopaN taht" ,werdnA ecnirP deunitnoc ",timda tsum enO"

    .tnemecrofnier siht fo lavirra eht ta desaelp ,ni demihc erreiP "!esruoc fo ,sey ,seY"

    ".em ot smees ti oS .rorepme na sa dna ,lareneg a sa ,nosrep etavirp a sa stca sih neewteb hsiugnitsid ot sah eno namsetats a fo snoitca eht ni ,sediseB" .werdnA ecnirP dias "?ecno ta lla uoy rewsna ot mih tcepxe uoy od woH"

    .tnelis erew llA .detseggus sdrow sih sa elbirret os ton saw nibocaJ gnuoy siht taht ylraelc was emit tsrif eht rof mih gniteem saw ohw etmociv ehT

    .ssenevigrof ksa ot demees hcihw ,kool yllis rehtar neve ,yldnik ,ekildlihc a--rehtona yb decalper ylsuoenatnatsni saw kool ,ymoolg rehtar neve ,evarg sih ,delims eh nehW .elpoep rehto fo elims-flah eht ekilnu saw elims siH .delims dna lla meht ta dekool ,rewsna ot mohw gniwonk ton ,erreiP

    .etyloppiH ecnirP dekramer ",lliw uoy tahw yas ,wollef wol a s'eH"

    .sredluohs reh gniggurhs ,ssecnirp elttil eht dias "!elbirroh saw tahT ?acirfA ni dellik eh srenosirp eht dnA"

    "!nam taerg a fo tcudnoc eht ekil lla ta ton dna ,eldniws a saw tI ?erutsopmi na taht ton saw ;eriamurB ht81 eht snialpxe rueisnom woh ksa ot" ,etmociv eht dias ",ekil dluohs I"

    "?deirtnu dna tneconni si--ohw nam yranidro na neve ro--cud a gnitucexe nam taerg a fo tcaf eht nialpxe uoy od woh" ,ehs dias ",erreiP rueisnoM raed ym ,tuB"

    .rotaro eht no kcatta suorogiv a ni etmociv eht denioj dna secrof reh deillar ehs ,mih pots ot elbissopmi saw ti taht flesreh decnivnoc dah dna ,etmociv eht detarepsaxe ton dah sdrow suoigelircas s'erreiP taht was ehs nehw tuB .kcurts-rorroh saw ,ecneirepxe laicos reh etipsed ,anvolvaP annA tsrubtuo s'erreiP fo tnemom tsrif eht nI .ssetsoh rieht ot etmociv eht morf dna etmociv eht ot erreiP morf elims desuma na htiw gnikool tpek werdnA ecnirP

    ".ti deyortsed sah etrapanouB tub ,ytrebil detnaw eW .yrartnoc eht nO ?reippah emoceb noituloveR eht ecnis elpoep evaH .ytilauqe dna ytrebil dehcaerp ruoivaS ruo nevE ?ytilauqe dna ytrebil evol ton seod ohW .detidercsid neeb gnol evah hcihw sdrow gnidnuos-hgih" ,erew sdrow sih hsiloof woh htuoy siht ot evorp ot ylsuoires gnidiced tsal ta fi sa ,ylsuoutpmetnoc etmociv eht dias ",ytilauqe dna ytrebiL"

    ".ecrof lluf ni deniater sah noelopaN saedi eseht lla dna ,pihsnezitic fo ytilauqe dna ,secidujerp morf noitapicname ,nam fo sthgir eht era tnatropmi si tahW .tnatropmi tsom si tahw ton era yeht tub ,tbuod on ,semertxe erew esohT"

    .eciov lacinori na detcejretni niaga ",ediciger dna ,redrum ,yrebbor fo saedi :seY"

    ".saedi tuoba gnikaeps ma I ,ediciger fo gnikaeps ton ma I"

    .elims tnarelot a htiw etmociv eht dias ",laicos tartnoC s'uaessuoR"

    .anvolvaP annA detaeper "?elbat rehto siht ot emoc uoy t'now tuB ...taht retfa ,lleW ...?gniht dnarg a ediciger dna noituloveR ?tahW"

    .dnim sih ni saw taht lla sserpxe ot hsiw sih dna htuoy emertxe sih noitisoporp evitacovorp dna etarepsed siht yb gniyarteb ,erreiP rueisnoM deunitnoc "!gniht dnarg a saw noituloveR ehT .nam taerg a saw eh taht was yeht esuaceb dna snobruoB eht fo meht dir thgim eh taht rewop mih evag ylno elpoep ehT .taht od ton dluoc eH"

    .etmociv eht dekramer ",nam taerg a mih dellac evah dluohs I ,gnik lufthgir eht ot ti derotser dah eh redrum timmoc ot ti fo flesmih gniliava tuohtiw ,rewop deniatbo gnivah fi ,seY"

    ".rewop niatbo eh did nosaer taht rof ylno dna--sserp eht fo dna hceeps fo modeerf dna pihsnezitic fo ytilauqe--ti ni doog saw taht lla devreserp ,sesuba sti desserppus ,noituloveR eht ot roirepus esor eh esuaceb taerg si noelopaN" ,regae erom dna erom gnimoceb ,eh deirc ",oN"

    .reh gnideeh tuohtiw hceeps sih deunitnoc erreiP tuB

    .anvolvaP annA detseggus "?elbat rehto eht ot revo emoc uoy t'noW"

    ".efil s'nam eno fo ekas eht rof trohs pots ton dluoc eh ,doog lareneg eht rof os dna ,ti delleuq dna noituloveR eht dootsrednu enola noelopaN dna ,yhcrana ot elpoep eht gnivael noituloveR eht morf delf snobruoB eht esuaceb" ,yletarepsed deunitnoc eh ",os yas I"

    .deunitnoc dna selcatceps sih revo ecneidua sih ta ylnmelos dekool erreiP .sredluohs sih deggurhs ylerem etmociv ehT

    .dnah sih fo mlap eht htiw eenk sih gnippals nageb dna ,hsilgnE ni etyloppiH ecnirP dias "!latipaC"

    .seciov lareves demialcxe "!hO !hO"

    .reh ot reraen krow reh gniward dna gnilims ,ssecnirp elttil eht dias "?luos fo ssentaerg swohs noitanissassa taht redisnoc uoy oD ...erreiP rueisnoM ,tahW"

    .repsihw deifirret a ni anvolvaP annA derettum "!ueiD noM !ueiD"

    ".deed taht fo ytilibisnopser elohw eht flesmih no ekat ot gniraef ton yb luos fo ssentaerg dewohs noelopaN taht em ot smees ti dna ,ytissecen lacitilop a saw" ,erreiP rueisnoM deralced ",neihgnE'd cuD eht fo noitucexe ehT"

    .mih pots ot elbanu saw ehs ,etairporppani gnihtemos yas dluow eh erus tlef anvolvaP annA hguoht dna ,noitasrevnoc eht otni ekorb niaga erreiP ,margipe s'etmociv eht fo noitaicerppa rieht elims ot emit dah srehto eht dna anvolvaP annA erofeB

    ".htrae no ssel oreh eno dna nevaeh ni erom rytram eno saw ereht cud eht fo redrum eht retfa ,oreh a saw reve eh" ,anvolvaP annA ot gninrut ,no tnew eh ",elpoep emos ot fI .oreh a sa mih drager ot desaec laitrap tsom eht neve cud eht fo redrum eht retfA" .etmociv eht deilper ",tsael eht ni toN"

    ".os gniyas ni deifitsuj saw eh raf woh wonk ton od I '.ni dedworc yeht dna srebmahcetna ym denepo I'" .sdrow s'noelopaN gnitouq niaga ,ecnelis trohs a retfa deunitnoc werdnA ecnirP "',ti wollof ton did yeht tub ,yrolg ot htap eht meht dewohs I'"

    .mih ta gnikool tuohtiw hguoht ,mih ta skramer sih gnimia saw dna etmociv eht ekil ton did eh taht tnedive saw tI

    .elims citsacras a htiw werdnA ecnirP dekramer ",os dias sah etrapanoB"

    ".noinipo cilbup hcnerF fo etats laer eht wonk ot tluciffid si ti emit tneserp eht tA" .erreiP ta gnikool tuohtiw etmociv eht deilper ",taht yas ohw stsitrapanouB eht si tI"

    ".edis s'etrapanoB ot revo enog ydaerla sah ycarcotsira eht lla tsomla" ,noitasrevnoc eht otni gnikaerb dna gnihsulb ,erreiP dias ",draeh evah I tahw morF"

    ".emiger dlo eht ot nruter ot tluciffid eb lliw ti kniht I .raf oot enog ydaerla evah srettam taht sesoppus ylthgir etiuq etmociV el rueisnoM" .werdnA ecnirP dias ",luftbuod si tahT"

    .tnargime tsilayor eht ot elbaima eb ot gniyrt ,dedulcnoc ehs ",gnik lufthgir sti fo smra eht otni flesti worht ylniatrec lliw noitan elohw eht ,reprusu eht morf eerf ecno taht eveileb I dna ;tnemnrevog fo mrof nwo rieht esoohc ot sevlesmeht elpoep hcnerF eht ot ti evael lliw eh taht deralced sah" ,ylimaf lairepmI eht ot sreh fo ecnerefer yna deinapmocca syawla hcihw ylohcnalem eht htiw ,ehs dias ",rednaxelA rorepmE ehT"

    :detpurretni ,noitavresbo rednu mih dah ohw ,anvolvaP annA tub ,mih detseretni noitasrevnoc eht rof ,kramer a ekam ot dehsiw erreiP .sdnah sih tuo daerps dna sredluohs sih deggurhs eH

    "...neht dna ,deyortsed reverof neeb evah lliw--yteicos hcnerF doog naem I--yteicos hcnerF ,snoitucexe dna ,elixe ,ecneloiv ,seugirtni yB .raf oot enog evah lliw sgniht" ,sthguoht nwo sih fo tnerruc eht swollof tub srehto ot netsil ton seod ,esle enoyna naht detniauqca retteb si eh hcihw htiw rettam a ni ,ohw nam a fo ria eht htiw ,deunitnoc etmociv eht ",regnol raey a ecnarF fo enorht eht no sniamer etrapanouB fI"

    .gnilims ,denetsil ssecnirp ehT

    .eh dias ",ednoC nosiam--ruza 'd selueug ed elergne ,selueug ed notaB"

    .ti od ot mih deksa dah ehs fi sa ytivarg hcum sa htiw reh ot siht denialpxe eH .elbat eht no smra fo taoc ednoC eht gnicart nageb eldeen a rof deksa gnivah dna ,ssecnirp elttil eht drawot dnuor yletelpmoc denrut ylneddus ,ettengrol sih hguorht emit emos rof etmociv eht ta gnizag neeb dah ohw ,etyloppiH ecnirP

    .noitisop sih degnahc niaga eh ,yllufniadsid gnihgis dnA

    ".reprusu eht tnemilpmoc ot srodassabma gnidnes era yeht ,yhW !sngierevos ehT .esuac nobruoB eht fo layarteb rieht fo drawer eht gnipaer era yeht ,em eveileb dnA" .detamina erom emaceb eh dna "!gnihtoN ?htebazilE emadaM rof ro ,neeuQ eht rof ,IIVX siuoL rof enod yeht evah tahW ...emadam ,sngierevos ehT" :sselepoh tub etilop ,etmociv eht dias ",aissuR fo kaeps ton od I ?sngierevos ehT"

    ".gnihtyreve ot ecanem a si ohw nam siht erudne ot elba eb ton lliw sngierevos ehT" .deunitnoc anvolvaP annA ",revo nur ssalg eht ekam lliw taht pord tsal eht evorp lliw siht epoh I"

    "'!ihccot al ihc a iauG .otad ah'l im oiD'" :nailatI ni sdrow eht gnitaeper ,dekramer eh ",taht dias eh nehw enif yrev saw eh yas yehT '!ehcuot al iuq a erag ,ennod al em ueiD'"

    .elims citsacras a htiw ecaf eht ni thgiarts anvolvaP annA dekool werdnA ecnirP

    ".yzarc enog dah dlrow elohw eht fi sa si tI !lrihw daeh s'eno ekam ot hguone si tI !elbarodA ?snoitan eht fo snoititep eht gnitnarg dna enorht a no gnittis etrapanouB rueisnoM dna ,etrapanouB rueisnoM erofeb snoititep rieht gniyal accuL dna aoneG fo elpoep eht fo ydemoc eht fo dna" ,anvolvaP annA deksa "?naliM ta noitanoroc eht ,ydemoc tsetal siht fo kniht uoy od tahw dnA"

    .dehsilpmocca saw ksat reH .evael ot emit eb dluow ti llit gnitiaw elihw ,netsil ot dedneterp niaga dna ,gniklat llits saw etmociv eht erehw puorg eht ot denruter ehS .noisserpxe laicifitra ,dloc remrof sti demuser ecaf reh enog dah ecnirp eht sa noos sa tuB .stra eninimef dlo eht lla deyolpme tibah fo ecrof yb dna ega reh nettogrof dah ehs yltnerappA

    .ecaf nrowerac reh ot detius-lli yrev won saw tub ,reh ot yllarutan emac ylbaborp emit eno ta hcihw ,lrig hsitteuqoc a fo elims eht htiw ,tnew eh sa anvolyahkiM annA deirc "!ilisaV ,esimorp od ,esimorp oD"

    ".esimorp t'nod I ,vozutuK tuoba tub ;ylniatreC"

    "?rorepmE eht ot kaeps lliw uoy worromot nehT"

    "?reh raeh uoY !yb-dooG !riover ua ,lleW"

    ".etal eb llahs ew" ,erofeb sa enot emas eht ni rethguad lufituaeb sih dias ",apaP"

    "...rotcafeneb raed yM !og uoy tel t'now I !esimorp od tub ,oN"

    ".stnatujda sa snos rieht lla mih evig ot deripsnoc evah seidal wocsoM eht lla taht flesmih em dlot eH .feihC ni rednammoC sa tnemtnioppa sih ecnis deretsep si vozutuK woh wonk t'nod uoY .taht esimorp t'now I ,oN"

    .delims ilisaV ecnirP

    "...neht dna ,tser ta eb llahs I nehT !tnatujda sa mih ot siroB dnemmocer ...vozutuK hcivonoiralI leahciM htiw smret doog no era uoY" .deretlaf ehs "...sdrauG eht ot derrefsnart neeb sah eh nehW !drow a tsuj--tiaW"

    .og ot denrut eH "!ssendnik ruoy wenk I--uoy morf detcepxe I tahw si sihT !rotcafeneb raed yM"

    "?deifsitas uoy erA .ti no dnah ym si ereH .sdrauG eht ot derrefsnart eb llahs nos ruoy--elbissopmi eht od lliw I ,yromem s'rehtaf ruoy tcepser I woh dna uoy ot noitoved ym evorp ot tub ;ksa uoy tahw od ot em rof elbissopmi tsomla si ti" ,enot fo sseniraew dna ytirailimaf lausu sih htiw eh dias ",anvolyahkiM annA raed yM"

    .mih devom noitaredisnoc tsal sihT .senecs ekam ot neve dna ,ruoh retfa ruoh dna yad retfa yad gnitsisni no og ot yrassecen fi deraperp era dna ,dne rieht deniag evah yeht litnu tser ton lliw ,sdnim rieht pu edam ecno gnivah ,ohw--srehtom yltsom--nemow esoht fo eno saw ehs taht srennam reh yb ees dluoc eh ,revoeroM .reerac sih ni spets tsrif eht rof rehtaf reh ot detbedni neeb dah eh ;eurt etiuq saw tahw fo mih dednimer dah ehS .ecneicsnoc fo smlauq ekil gnihtemos ,laeppa dnoces reh retfa ,tlef eh esac s'ayaksteburD ssecnirP ni tuB .ecneulfni sih gnisu fo yrahc emaceb eh ,flesmih rof ksa ot elbanu eb noos dluow eh ,mih fo deggeb ohw lla fo flaheb no deksa eh fi taht dezilaer ecno gnivah dna ,siht wenk ilisaV ecnirP .tsal ot si ti fi dezimonoce eb ot sah hcihw latipac a si ,revewoh ,yteicos ni ecneulfnI

    .rood eht yb gnitiaw doots ehs sa redluohs dedlom yllacissalc reh revo gnikool dna daeh lufituaeb reh gninrut ,eneleH ssecnirP dias ",etal eb llahs ew ,apaP"

    .seye reh ni erew sraet hguoht elims ot gniyrt ,dias ehs ",erew syawla uoy nam detraehdnik eht eB .desufer sah eh dna nystiloG deksa evah I !esimorp tub ,yrgna eb t'nod ,oN" .yldeirruh dedda ehs ",rotcafeneb a sa uoy drager syawla llahs I dna--nos ym rof siht od ot ekas s'doG rof uoy taertne I won tub ;uoy rof pihsdneirf s'rehtaf ym fo uoy dednimer reve I evah ron ,niaga lliw reven I dna gnihtyna rof uoy deksa tey reven evah I" .ehs dias ",ecnirP ,em ot netsiL"

    .ylthgit erom mra s'ilisaV ecnirP dehctulc dna niaga delims ehs neht ;tnemom a rof ylno tub ,ecaf emosdnah ecno reh deduolc kool derettibme na ,reh denethgirf sdrow s'ilisaV ecnirP .yrots s'etmociv eht ot gninetsil tas dah dna noitpecer s'anvolvaP annA ot noitativni na deniatbo dah ehs taht ilisaV ecnirP teem ot ylelos ,tcaf ni ,saw tI .nos ylno reh rof sdrauG eht ni tnemtnioppa na erucorp ot grubsreteP ot emoc won dah ehS .snoitcennoc laitneulfni remrof reh tsol dah yteicos fo tuo neeb gnol gnivah dna ,roop saw ehs tub ,aissuR ni seilimaf tseb eht fo eno ot gnignoleb ,ayaksteburD ssecnirP a saw ydal ylredle ehT

    ".yaw tseb eht eb dluow tahT .nystiloG ecnirP hguorht vestnaymuR ot laeppa ot uoy esivda dluohs I .rorepmE eht ksa ot em rof tluciffid si ti tub" ,ilisaV ecnirP derewsna ",nac I lla od ot ydaer ma I ,ssecnirP ,em eveileB"

    .ehs dias "?ecno ta sdrauG eht ot derrefsnart eb dluow eh neht dna ,rorepmE eht ot drow a yas ot uoy tsoc ti dluow tahW"

    .yawa og ton thgim eh taht dnah sih koot dna ,elims gnilaeppa dna gnitaitargni na mih evag ehs ,ecneitapmi emos gniyarteb neve ,ydal ylredle eht ot yletilop yrev ton dna yltnatculer denetsil ilisaV ecnirP hguohtlA

    ".yob roop ym ot kcab ekat yam I swen tahw em lleT .grubsreteP ni regnol yna niamer t'nac I" .mooretna eht otni mih retfa gniyrruh ,ehs dias "?ecnirP ,siroB nos ym tuoba woH"

    .raef dna yteixna ylno desserpxe won ti dna ecaf nrowraet dna yldnik reh tfel dah demussa dah ehs tseretni fo noitatceffa eht llA .mooretna eht ni ilisaV ecnirP kootrevo dna yldeirruh esor tnua dlo eht htiw gnittis neeb dah ohw ydal ylredle ehT .s'ilisaV ecnirP fo noitcennoc a eb ot rehtaf sih wenk ehS .dnah ni erreiP ekat ot desimorp dna delims anvolvaP annA


    ".nemow revelc fo yteicos eht sa nam gnuoy a rof yrassecen os si gnihtoN .yteicos ni mih nees evah I emit tsrif eht si siht dna htnom elohw a em htiw gniyats neeb sah eH !em rof raeb siht etacudE" :anvolvaP annA ot dias dna dnah s'erreiP dezies ilisaV ecnirP gnissap nI

    .erreiP dias ",yreV"

    .werdnA ecnirP dias ",ylevol yreV"

    .mih dessap ehs sa seye ,denethgirf tsomla ,suorutpar htiw reh ta dezag erreiP .ecaf lufituaeb reh no yltnaidar erom llits enohs elims eht dna ,sserd reh fo sdlof eht pu gnidloh ylthgil ,sriahc eht neewteb dessap ,eneleH ssecnirP ,rethguad siH

    .anvolvaP annA ot gninrut ,eh dias ",ytrap gnitnahcne ruoy evael ot yrros yrev ma I .uoy tpurretni ot em segilbo dna ,erusaelp a fo em sevirped s'rodassabma eht ta etef etanutrofnu sihT" .gnisir sih tneverp ot yaw yldneirf a ni eveels eht yb nwod mih gnidloh ,namhcnerF eht ot ilisaV ecnirP dias ",etmociV raed ,em esucxe tsum uoY"

    .ssap meht tel ot esor nem gnuoy owt eht dna og ot pu tog rethguad sih dna ilisaV ecnirP tnemom taht ta tub ,erom gnihtemos yas ot dehsiw eH .noitseuq eht ksa ot deen on saw ereht taht wohs ot dnah s'erreiP gnisserp dna gnihgual ,werdnA ecnirP dias "!elbissopmi ,oN"

    .yrots sih gniunitnoc saw ohw etmociv eht brutsid ot ton sa os eciov wol a ni dedda eh "?I yaM .uoy htiw reppus ot emoc lliw I" .erreiP deilper ",ereh eb dluow uoy wenk I"

    .erreiP ot eh dias "?dlrow taerg eht ni era ,oot ,uoy oS ...!won erehT"

    .elims tnasaelp dna dnik yldetcepxenu na mih evag eh ecaf gnimaeb s'erreiP was eh nehw tub ,mra sih gnihcuot saw reveohw htiw ecnayonna sih gnisserpxe ,niaga denworf werdnA ecnirP dnuor dekool eh erofeB .mra sih koot dna pu emac won ,seye etanoitceffa ,dalg htiw mih dehctaw dah moor eht deretne werdnA ecnirP tnemom eht morf ohw ,erreiP .yawa denrut dna seye sih pu dewercs werdnA ecnirP

    "!etrapanouB dna egroeG ellesiomedaM tuoba elat a hcus su gnillet neeb sah etmociv eht" ,nem rehto ot ekops ehs hcihw ni rennam hsitteuqoc emas eht ni dnabsuh reh gnisserdda ,efiw sih dias ",erdnA"

    "?efiw gnimrahc ruoy fo su evirped ot demahsa ton uoy erA"

    ".yrtnuoc eht ot og lliw ehS"

    "?efiw ruoy ,esiL dnA"

    "....pmac-ed-edia na sa em ekat ot desaelp neeb sah" ,namhcnerF a ekil eman s'lareneg eht fo elballys tsal eht gnisserts dna hcnerF gnikaeps ,iksnokloB dias ",vozutuK lareneG"

    .anvolvaP annA dias "?ecnirP ,raw eht ot ffo era uoY"

    .ynapmoc elohw eht dennacs seye sih pu gniwercs dna ,dnah s'anvolvaP annA dessik ,ecaf emosdnah sih detrotsid taht ecamirg a htiw reh morf yawa denrut eH .efiw ytterp sih fo taht sa hcum os mih erob ot demees enon ,suoidet os dnuof eh taht secaf eseht lla gnoma dnA .meht ot netsil ro ta kool ot mih deiraew ti taht emoserit os eb ot meht dnuof dah tub ,moor gniward eht ni enoyreve wenk ylno ton eh taht tnedive saw tI .efiw elttil ,teiuq sih ot tsartnoc gnikirts tsom a dereffo ,pets derusaem ,teiuq sih ot noisserpxe derob ,yraew sih morf ,mih tuoba gnihtyrevE .serutaef tucraelc ,mrif htiw ,thgieh muidem fo ,nam gnuoy emosdnah yrev a saw eH .dnabsuh 'ssecnirp elttil eht ,iksnokloB werdnA ecnirP :moor gniward eht deretne rotisiv rehtona neht tsuJ

    .elcric regral eht otni meht thguorb ,noitavresbo rednu meht peek ot yltneinevnoc erom eht ,anvolvaP annA ,epacse erreiP dna ebba eht gnittel toN

    .eh dias ",etamilc eht fo kniht ot emit dah tey ton evah I taht ,deviecer gnieb fo ronoh eht dah evah I hcihw ni ,yteicos eninimef eht fo yllaicepse erom ,yteicos eht fo erutluc dna tiw eht fo ycnaillirb eht yb detnahcne os ma I"

    .nemow htiw gnisrevnoc nehw mih ot lautibah yltnedive ,noisserpxe yragus ,detceffa ylevisneffo na demussa dna degnahc yltnatsni ecaf s'nailatI ehT .etamilc naissuR doots eh woh nailatI eht deksa ,erreiP ta ylereves gnikool ,dna pu emac anvolvaP annA tnemom taht tA

    .gninnigeb saw erreiP "?ecnalab taht teg ot uoy era woh tuB"

    "!dlrow eht evas dluow ti dna ,eporuE fo rewop fo ecnalab eht fo ecnanetniam eht tcejbo sti rof gnivah ecnailla na fo daeh eht ta yldetseretnisid flesreh ecalp ot--eb ot dias si ehs sa cirabrab--aissuR ekil noitan lufrewop eno rof yrassecen ylno si tI" .gniyas saw ebba eht ",elpoep eht fo sthgir eht dna eporuE ni rewop fo ecnalab eht ...era snaem ehT"

    .devorppasid anvolvaP annA yhw saw hcihw ,yllarutan oot dna ylregae oot gninetsil dna gniklat erew htoB .yroeht tep sih gninialpxe saw ,ssenregae dednim-elpmis s'nam gnuoy eht yb detseretni yltnedive ,rettal eht dna ,rewop fo ecnalab eht tuoba ebba eht htiw noitasrevnoc a trats ot deganam dah erreiP .eucser eht ot deirruh ehs os ,ebba eht htiw yltnemehev dna ylduol oot gniklat saw eh taht deciton ,reh demrala os ohw nam gnuoy eht no eye lufhctaw a tpek dah ohw ,anvolvaP annA neht tsuj tub ,eunitnoc ot deraperp yllufetarg gnilims dna esiarp tnelis siht detaicerppa etmociv ehT

    .ti htiw no gniog morf reh detneverp yrots eht fo noitanicsaf dna tseretni eht taht yfitset ot fi sa krow reh otni eldeen eht gnikcits ,ssecnirp elttil eht derepsihw "!gnimrahC"

    .ssecnirp elttil eht ta ecnalg gniriuqni na htiw anvolvaP annA dias "!gnimrahC"

    .detatiga dekool seidal eht dna ;rehtona eno dezingocer ylneddus slavir eht erehw tniop eht ta yllaicepse ,gnitseretni dna ytterp yrev saw yrots ehT

    .htaed yb diaper yltneuqesbus etrapanoB ytiminangam siht dna ,mih deraps rettal ehT .ycrem s'cud eht ta suht saw dna ,tcejbus saw eh hcihw ot stif gnitniaf eht fo eno otni llaf ot deneppah noelopaN ecneserp sih ni taht dna ,srovaf 'ssertca suomaf eht deyojne osla ohw ,etrapanoB nopu emac eh esuoh reh ta taht ;egroeG ellesiomedaM tisiv ot siraP ot ylterces enog dah neihgnE'd cuD eht taht tceffe eht ot ,tnerruc neht ,etodcena na saw tI .yltaen yrev elat sih dlot etmociv ehT

    .sgnikcots klis dna ,seohs ,ti dellac eh sa ,eeyarffe ehpmyn ed essiuc fo roloc eht fo sehceerb eenk ,taoc sserd neerg-krad a ni desserd saw eH .diputs yrev ro yttiw yrev saw dias eh tahw rehtehw erus eb ton dluoc sreraeh sih taht ecnedifnoc-fles hcus htiw ekops eH

    .meht derettu dah eh retfa sdrow sih fo gninaem eht dootsrednu ylno eh taht dewohs hcihw enot a ni etyloppiH ecnirP dias ",seirots tsohg etah I esuaceB"

    .sredluohs sih gniggurhs ,rotarran dehsinotsa eht dias ",wollef raed ym ,on yhW"

    .kaeps ot nigeb ton dluoc eh tnemurtsni siht tuohtiw fi sa ,ettengrol sih gnitsujda ylitsah dna ssecnirp eht ediseb nwod gnittis ,eh dias "?yrots tsohg a eb ot gniog ton s'tI"

    .snoitisop larutannu otni llef syawla sgel dna smra sih dna ,ecamirg deiraew ,tnacav a otni derekcup demees lla htuom dna ,eson ,seye siH .kaew dna niht saw ydob sih elihw ,ecnedifnoc-fles nellus fo noisserpxe tnatsnoc a dna ytilicebmi yb dellud saw yrartnoc eht no ecaf sih ,erugif reh fo ytuaeb cissalc lufrednow eht yb dna ,noitamina fo elims tnatsnoc dna ,lufhtuoy ,deifsitas-fles ,suoyoj a yb pu til saw gnihtyreve esac reh ni elihw tub ,s'retsis sih ekil erew serutaef siH .ylgu ylgnideecxe saw eh ecnalbmeser siht fo etips ni taht tcaf eht yb erom tey tub ,retsis lufituaeb sih ot ecnalbmeser yranidroartxe sih yb gnisirprus saw etyloppiH tnamrahc eL

    .reh ediseb flesmih detaes sreh ot esolc riahc a gnivom dna elcric eht denioj ,gabkrow eht thguorb gnivah ,etyloppiH ecnirP

    .krow reh pu koot ehs ,nigeb ot etmociv eht gniksa dna ,dias ehs ",thgir lla ma I woN"

    .taes reh ni flesreh degnarra yliag dna nwod tas ,ecno ta enoyreve ot ylirrem gniklat dna gnilims ,ssecnirp eht sa tnemevom lareneg a saw erehT

    ".gabkrow ym em hcteF" .etyloppiH ecnirP ot gninrut ,no tnew ehs "?fo gnikniht uoy era tahw ,neht woN ....krow ym teg ll'I ,tnemom a tiaW"

    .eneleH dewollof dna elbat aet eht tfel osla dah ssecnirp elttil ehT

    .elims tnaidar reh otni despaler niaga dna ,ecaf s'ronoh fo diam eht no was ehs noisserpxe eht tsuj detpoda ecno ta ,anvolvaP annA ta decnalg ehs tceffe na decudorp yrots eht revenehw dna ,sserd reh fo sdlof eht dehtooms ehs emit ot emit morF .ecalkcen dnomaid a detsujdaer ehs hcihw no ,mosob lufituaeb erom llits reh ta won ,elbat eht no erusserp sti yb epahs ni deretla ,mra dnuor lufituaeb reh ta won gnicnalg ,thgirpu tas ehs dlot gnieb saw yrots eht emit eht llA .detiaw ylgnilims ehS .yrassecennu ylper a deredisnoc dna elbat elttil a no mra dnuor erab reh detser ssecnirp ehT

    .daeh sih gninilcni ylgnilims ,eh dias ",ecneidua na hcus erofeb ytiliba ym tbuod I ,emadaM"

    .elims gnignahcnu reh htiw osla mih nopu demaeb dna etisoppo taes reh koot ehs nehw yranidroartxe gnihtemos yb deltrats fi sa seye sih deppord dna sredluohs sih detfil etmociv eht dna ;reh was ohw enoyreve dias "!ylevol woH"

    .tceffe sti hsinimid ot ,elbanu eb ot tub ,hsiw ot demees ehS .ytuaeb suoirotciv oot lla dna elbanoitseuqnu reh fo yhs deraeppa neve ehs yrartnoc eht no tub ,yrteuqoc fo ecart yna wohs ton ehs did ylno ton taht ylevol os saw eneleH .anvolvaP annA drawot devom ehs sa reh htiw moorllab a fo ruomalg eht gnirb ot demees ehs dna--desopxe hcum yrev erew syad esoht fo noihsaf eht ni hcihw--mosob dna ,kcab ,sredluohs ylepahs dna erugif lufituaeb reh gnirimda fo egelivirp eht hcae gniwolla ylsuoicarg fi sa ,lla no gnilims tub meht fo yna ta gnikool ton ,reh rof yaw edam ohw nem eht neewteb dessap ehs ,sdnomaid gnilkraps dna ,riah yssolg ,sredluohs etihw fo maelg a htiw ,yvi dna ssom htiw demmirt sserd etihw reh fo eltsur thgils a htiW .namow lufituaeb yltcefrep a fo elims eht--moor eht deretne tsrif dah ehs hcihw htiw elims gnignahcnu emas eht htiw esor ehS .delims ssecnirp ehT

    .puorg rehtona fo retnec eht ,ffo yaw emos gnittis saw ohw ssecnirp gnuoy lufituaeb eht ot anvolvaP annA dias ",raed ,eneleH ,ereh revo emoC"

    .elims eltbus a evag dna yrots sih nigeb ot dehsiw etmociv ehT

    .hsid toh a no feeb tsaor fo tnioj dehsinrag-llew a ekil ,elyts suoegatnavda tsom dna tseciohc eht ni ynapmoc eht ot pu devres saw etmociv eht dna ;driht a ot ehs dias ",yteicos tseb eht ot sgnoleb eh yltnedive woH" .rehtona ot ehs dias ",ruetnocar lufrednow a si etmociv ehT" .stseug eht fo ot anvolvaP annA derepsihw ",yllanosrep cud eht wenk etmociv ehT"

    .elat sih ot netsil ot enoyreve gnitivni ,mih dnuor puorg a degnarra anvolvaP annA .ylpmoc ot ssengnilliw sih fo nekot ni ylsuoetruoc delims dna dewob etmociv ehT

    ".etmociV ,alec suon zetnoC" :ecnetnes taht fo dnuos eht ni VX siuoL al a gnihtemos saw ereht taht gnileef tnasaelp a htiw ,anvolvaP annA dias ",etmociV ,ti tuoba lla su llet oD !sey ,hA"

    .mih fo dertah s'etrapanouB rof snosaer ralucitrap erew ereht taht dna ,ytiminangam nwo sih yb dehsirep dah neihgnE'd cuD eht taht dias etmociv ehT .neihgnE'd cuD eht fo redrum eht gnissucsid nageb yletaidemmi trametroM tuoba puorg ehT .slesrom eciohc ylrailucep sa ,ebba eht neht dna etmociv eht tsrif ,stseug reh ot pu devres anvolvaP annA os ,tae ot derac evah dluow nehctik eht ni ti nees dah ohw eno on taht taem fo eceip a ycaciled eciohc yllaiceps a sa pu sevres letoh'd ertiam revelc a sA .stseug reh ot taert a sa pu mih gnivres ylsuoivbo saw anvolvaP annA .flesmih dnuof eh hcihw ni elcric eht fo lasopsid eht ta flesmih decalp yltsedom ssenetilop fo tuo tub ytirbelec a flesmih deredisnoc yltnedive ohw ,srennam dehsilop dna serutaef tfos htiw nam gnuoy gnikool-ecin a saw etmociv ehT

    .anvolvaP annA dna trametroM dnuor derehtag saw puorg driht ehT .ega reh rof pmulp oot rehtar hguoht ,ysor dna ytterp yrev ,ayaksnokloB ssecnirP elttil eht dna ,rethguad s'ilisaV ecnirP ,eneleH ssecnirP lufituaeb eht dnuor depuorg saw ,elpoep gnuoy fo ,rehtonA .ebba eht dnuor demrof dah ,enilucsam ylfeihc ,enO .spuorg eerht otni delttes dah ynapmoc elohw eht ,yteicos tnaillirb siht ni ecalp fo tuo rehtar saw ecaf nrowerac niht reh htiw ohw ,ydal ylredle eno ylno tas mohw ediseb ,tnua eht fo noitpecxe eht htiW .sedis lla no ylsselesaec dna ylidaets demmuh seldnips ehT .gniws lluf ni saw noitpecer s'anvolvaP annA

    .gniod fo dnof era elpoep gnuoy sa ,sweiv nwo sih sserpxe ot ytinutroppo na rof gnitiaw doots eh dna gnitseretni demees noitasrevnoc eht ereH .oiroM ot pu emac eh tsal tA .dnuoforp yrev gnihtemos raeh ot gnitcepxe syawla saw eh tneserp esoht fo secaf eht no noisserpxe denifer dna tnedifnoc-fles eht gnieeS .draeh eb ot saw taht noitasrevnoc revelc yna gnissim fo diarfa ,kool ot yaw hcihw wonk ton did ,pohsyot a ni dlihc a ekil ,dna ereht derehtag erew grubsreteP fo sthgil lautcelletni eht lla taht wenk eH .aissuR ni dednetta dah eh tsrif eht saw s'anvolvaP annA ta noitpecer siht dna ,daorba detacude neeb dah erreiP

    .ebba eht saw retnec esohw puorg rehtona ot dessap eh nehw niaga dna ,ereht dias gnieb saw tahw ot netsil ot trametroM dnuor puorg eht dehcaorppa eh nehw mih no hctaw suoixna na tpek ehS .tnedive saw erreiP tuoba yteixna reh serac eseht dima tuB .noitom raluger dna ,reporp ,ydaets ni enihcam lanoitasrevnoc eht tpek tnemegnarraer thgils ro drow a yb dna ,puorg ysion-oot a won ,tnelis a won gnihcaorppa ,moor gniward reh tuoba devom anvolvaP annA os ,noitom reporp ni ti tes ro enihcam eht kcehc ot snetsah dna ,dluohs ti naht esion erom sekam ro skaerc taht eno ereht ro deppots sah taht eldnips a ereh seciton dna dnuor seog ,krow ot sdnah eht tes sah eh nehw ,llim gninnips a fo namerof eht sA .galf ot neppah thgim noitasrevnoc eht erehw tniop yna ta pleh ot ydaer ,hctaw dna netsil ot deunitnoc dna ssetsoh sa seitud reh demuser ehs ,evaheb ot woh wonk ton did ohw nam gnuoy siht fo dir tog gnivah dnA

    .elims a htiw anvolvaP annA dias ",retal ti fo klat lliw eW"

    .laciremihc nalp s'ebba eht gnikniht rof snosaer sih gninialpxe nageb eh ,trapa daerps teef gib sih dna ,tneb daeh sih htiW .yawa teg ot dehsiw ohw rehtona ot kaeps ot deunitnoc eh won dna ,mih ot gnikaeps dehsinif dah ehs erofeb ydal a tfel dah eh tsriF .ssenetilopmi fo tca esrever a dettimmoc won erreiP tuB .ssetsoh sa seitud reh ot dnetta ot yawa teg dna gnihtemos yas ot redro ni anvolvaP annA deniojer "?os kniht uoY"

    ".elbisaef yldrah tub gnitseretni yrev si ti dna ,ecaep lauteprep rof emehcs sih fo draeh evah I ,seY"

    ".nam gnitseretni tsom a si eH ?oiroM ebbA eht wonk uoy oD" :sdrow eht htiw mih deniated yamsid ni anvolvaP annA .htlaeh s'ytsejaM reH tuoba hceeps reh raeh ot gnitiaw tuohtiw tnua eht morf yawa denrut erreiP rof ,deifitsuj saw mrala s'anvolvaP annA

    .ecnatniauqca etamitni na ot sa ,elims desaelp a htiw ssecnirp elttil eht ot dewob eh tnua eht ot yaw sih nO .gnihtemos fo hcraes ni fi sa dnuor kool ot deunitnoc dna ,elbigilletninu gnihtemos derumrum erreiP

    .reh ot mih detcudnoc ehs sa tnua reh htiw ecnalg demrala na gnignahcxe ,anvolvaP annA dias ",dilavni roop a tisiv dna emoc ot ,erreiP rueisnoM ,uoy fo doog yrev si tI"

    .moor gniward taht ni esle enoyreve morf mih dehsiugnitsid hcihw noisserpxe ,larutan dna tnavresbo tub ,yhs hguoht revelc eht ot ecnerefer evah ylno dluoc yteixna reh ,moor eht ni nem rehto eht naht reggib rehtar ylniatrec saw eh hguohT .retne erreiP was ehs nehw ecaf reh revo emac ,ecalp eht ot detiusnu dna egral oot gnihtemos fo thgis eht ta sa ,raef dna yteixna fo kool a ,gniteerg edarg-tsewol siht fo etips ni tuB .moor gniward reh ni yhcrareih tsewol eht ot dedrocca ehs don eht htiw mih deteerg anvolvaP annA .yteicos ni ecnaraeppa tsrif sih saw siht dna ,detacude neeb dah eh erehw daorba morf denruter tsuj ylno dah eh sa ,ecivres livic ro yratilim eht rehtie deretne tey ton dah nam gnuoy ehT .wocsoM ni gniyd yal won ohw emit s'enirehtaC fo eednarg nwonk-llew a ,vohkuzeB tnuoC fo nos etamitigelli na saw nam gnuoy tuots sihT .taoc sserd nworb a dna ,elffur hgih yrev a ,emit taht ta elbanoihsaf sehceerb deroloc-thgil eht ,selcatceps ,riah depporc-esolc htiw nam gnuoy tliub ylivaeh ,tuots a saw slavirra txen eht fo enO

    .anvolvaP annA ot ilisaV ecnirP dias "!si ssecnirp elttil siht namow lufthgiled a tahW"

    .eneleH lufituaeb eht ,rethguad sih ot kaeps ot denrut ehs rewsna na rof gnitiaw tuohtiw dna ,ilisaV ecnirP gnisserdda ,dedda ehs "?rof si raw dehcterw siht tahw em lleT .dellik flesmih teg ot gniog si eH ?em gnitresed si dnabsuh ym" ,lareneg a ot gninrut ,hcnerF ni llits dna eciov fo enot emas eht ni ssecnirp eht dias ",wonk uoY"

    .anvolvaP annA deilper ",esle enoyna naht reitterp eb syawla lliw uoy ,esiL ,elliuqnart zeyoS"

    .tsaerb eht woleb tsuj nobbir daorb a htiw deldrig ,sserd yarg ytniad ,demmirt-ecal ,detsiaw-trohs reh wohs ot smra reh tuo daerps ehs dnA ".desserd ma I yldab woh ees tsuj dna ,noitpecer llams a etiuq eb ot saw ti taht etorw uoY" .ssetsoh reh ot gninrut ,dedda ehs ",em no kcirt dekciw a deyalp ton evah uoy epoh I ,ettennA ,dniM" .tneserp lla gnisserdda dna gab reh gniyalpsid ,hcnerF ni ehs dias ",krow ym thguorb evah I" .reh dnuora lla ot dna flesreh ot erusaelp a saw gniod saw ehs lla fi sa ,ravomas revlis eht raen afos a no nwod tas sserd reh tuo gnidaerps yliag dna ,mra reh no gabkrow reh ,spets gniyaws ,trohs ,kciuq htiw elbat eht dnuor tnew ssecnirp elttil ehT

    .rewohs eht ni ssa sih gnihsaw retfa sregnif ypaos sih fo llems eht tuoba gnikniht ,nwotysub fo steerts eht nwod gniklaw saw boB ,elihwnaeM

    .yad taht doom elbaima yllaiceps a ni erew yeht taht thguoht ,hteet etihw reh fo maelg tnatsnoc eht dna elims thgirb reh was drow hcae ta dna ,reh ot deklat ohw llA .htlaeh dna efil fo lluf ,reh ekil ,gnimoceb erew oot yeht fi sa tlef ,elihw elttil a reh ot gniklat dna ynapmoc reh ni gnieb retfa ,reh ta dekool ohw seno gnuoy detiripsid llud dna nem dlO .ylthgil os nedrub reh gniyrrac dna ,htlaeh dna efil fo lluf os ,rehtom a emoceb ot noos os ,namow gnuoy ytterp siht fo thgis eht ta denethgirb enoyrevE .ytuaeb fo mrof railucep dna laiceps nwo reh eb ot demees--htuom nepo-flah reh dna pil reppu reh fo ssentrohs eht--tcefed reh ,namow evitcartta ylhguoroht a htiw esac eht syawla si sA .pil rewol eht teem ot nwod ti werd yllanoisacco ehs nehw gnimrahc yllaicepse saw dna ,ylteews erom eht lla detfil ti tub ,hteet reh rof trohs oot saw ,elbitpecrep tsuj saw nwod krad etaciled a hcihw no ,pil reppu elttil ytterp reH .gab tevlev derediorbme-dlog a ni krow emos thguorb dah ayaksnokloB ssecnirP gnuoy ehT

    .gnineve elohw eht reh ot nruter ton did dna ytud suoitaxev a demrofrep gnivah ta feiler fo esnes a htiw namow dlo eht tfel ,ecneitapmi gniwohs sih detneverp ssenetilop hguoht ,rotisiv hcae dnA ".yadot retteb saw ,doG knaht ,ohw" ,ytsejaM reH fo htlaeh eht dna ,nwo reh dna htlaeh rieht tuoba ,sdrow emas eht ni meht fo hcae ot ekops tnua ehT .lavorppa tnelis dna tseretni nmelos dna lufnruom htiw sgniteerg eseht devresbo anvolvaP annA ;tuoba derac meht fo eno ton dna ,wonk ot detnaw meht fo eno ton ,wenk meht fo eno ton mohw tnua dlo siht gniteerg fo ynomerec eht demrofrep rotisiv hcaE

    .meht tfel neht dna eman s'eno hcae denoitnem anvolvaP annA ,tnua reh ot rotisiv eht morf seye reh gninrut ylwols dna ;evirra ot nageb stseug eht sa noos sa moor rehtona morf ni gnilias emoc dah ohw ,pac reh ni nobbir fo swob egral gniraew ,ydal dlo elttil a ot reh ro mih detcudnoc ylevarg yrev dna "?tnua ym wonk ton od uoY" ro ",tnua ym nees tey ton evah uoY" ,dias anvolvaP annA lavirra wen hcae oT

    .emoc osla dah srehto ynam dna oiroM ebbA ehT .decudortni eh mohw ,trametroM htiw emoc dah ,etyloppiH ,nos s'ilisaV ecnirP .snoitpecer llams ot ylno tub ,sgnirehtag egral yna ot og ton did tnangerp gnieb dna ,retniw suoiverp eht gnirud deirram neeb dah ehS .ereht osla saw ,gruobsreteP ed etnasiudes sulp al emmef al sa nwonk ,ayaksnokloB ssecnirP elttil lufhtuoy ehT .ronoh fo diam sa egdab reh dna sserd llab a erow ehs ;tnemniatretne s'rodassabma eht ot rehtaf reh ekat ot emac ,eneleH lufituaeb eht ,rethguad s'ilisaV ecnirP .degnoleb yeht hcihw ot elcric laicos eht ni ekila tub retcarahc dna ega ni ylediw gnireffid elpoep :ereht delbmessa saw yteicos grubsreteP tsehgih ehT .gnillif yllaudarg saw moor gniward s'anvolvaP annA

    ".diam dlo sa pihsecitnerppa ym trats ll'I taht flaheb s'ylimaf ruoy no eb llahs tI .degnarra eb nac gniht eht spahrep dna ,gnineve yrev siht ,efiw s'iksnokloB gnuoy ,esiL ot kaeps ll'I" ,gnitcelfer ,anvolvaP annA dias ",zednettA"

    .noitcerid rehtona ni gnikool ,riahcmra sih ni kcab yal eh sa orf dna ot ti gnuws dna ,ti dessik ,spil sih ot dnah s'ronoh fo diam eht desiar eh ,mih ot railucep ecarg ysae dna ytirailimaf eht htiw dnA

    ".tnaw I lla s'taht dna ylimaf doog fo dna hcir si ehS .stroper sih ni setirw enim fo redle egalliv a sa ,f na htiw efals -evals detoved tsom ruoy eb syawla llahs I dna em rof riaffa taht egnarrA" .sdrawnwod ti gniward nosaer emos rof dna dnah s'anvolvaP annA gnikat ylneddus ,ecnirp eht dias ",ettennA raed ,netsiL"

    ".thginot ereh eb lliw dna s'vozutuK fo pmac-ed-edia na si eH .yletal nenieM esiL deirram eh ,mih wonk uoy kniht I ;rehtorb a sah ehS .yppahnu yrev si lrig roop ehT .erob a dna ,cirtnecce tub revelc yrev si eH '.aissurP fo gniK eht' demankcin saw dna ,rorepmE etal eht rednu ymra eht morf eriter ot dah ohw iksnokloB ecnirP nwonk-llew eht si eH .yrtnuoc eht ni sevil eH .ygnits dna hcir yrev si rehtaf reH"

    "?hcir sruoy fo ssecnirp siht sI ....htiw pu tup ot evah srehtaf ew tahw s'tahT" :dedda eh yltneserP "?siht ekil no seog eh fi ,sraey evif ni eb ti lliw tahw" ,esuap a retfa no tnew eh ",dnA ?raey a selbur dnasuoht ytrof em gnitsoc si elotanA taht" ,sthguoht sih fo tnerruc das eht kcehc ot elbanu yltnedive ,tsal ta dias eh ",wonk uoy oD"

    .noitamrofni siht gniredisnoc saw eh taht daeh eht fo tnemevom a yb detacidni eh ,dlrow eht fo nam a gnittifeb noitpecrep dna yromem fo ssenkciuq eht htiw ,hguoht ,ylper ton did ilisaV ecnirP

    ".ayaksnokloB yraM ssecnirP ,sruoy fo noitaler a si ehS .rehtaf reh htiw yppahnu yrev si ohw nosrep elttil a wonk I ,tey sa flesym ni ssenkaew taht leef t'nod I hguoht dna ,gnikamhctam rof ainam a evah sdiam dlo yas yehT" .deksa ehs "?elotanA nos lagidorp ruoy gniyrram fo thguoht reven uoy evaH"

    .detatidem anvolvaP annA .erutseg a yb etaf leurc ot noitangiser sih desserpxe tub ,erom on dias eH

    "!depleh eb t'nac tI .flesym ot ti nialpxe I woh si tahT .raeb ot evah I ssorc eht si tI .efil ym fo enab eht era nerdlihc ym taht ssefnoc nac I enola uoy ot dna evals lufhtiaf ruoy ma I"

    .ylevisnep pu gnikool ,anvolvaP annA dias ",htiw uoy hcaorper dluoc I gnihton eb dluow ereht rehtaf a ton erew uoy fI ?uoy sa nem hcus ot nrob nerdlihc era yhw dnA"

    .tnasaelpnu dna esraoc yldetcepxenu gnihtemos delaever ylraelc yrev htuom sih dnuor selknirw eht taht os ,lausu naht detamina dna larutan erom yaw a ni gnilims siht dias eH ".meht neewteb ecnereffid ylno eht si tahT .eno evitca na si elotanA tub ,loof teiuq a tsael ta si etyloppiH .sloof tuo denrut htob evah yeht dna ,noitacude rieht rof dluoc rehtaf a lla did I wonk uoY" .tsal ta dias eh "?od em evah uoy dluow tahW"

    .denworf eH .ylper a gnitiawa ,yltnacifingis mih ta dekool ehs tub ,gnihton derewsna ecnirp ehT

    "....deitip erew uoy dna s'ytsejaM reH ta denoitnem saw eh" ,)noisserpxe ylohcnalem sti demussa ecaf reh dna( "sevlesruo neewteB ?nos regnuoy ruoy htiw deifsitassid ma I wonk uoy oD .uoy htiw klat suoires a evah ot naem I ;ekoj t'noD"

    ".ytinretap fo pmub eht kcal I dias evah dluow retavaL" .ecnirp eht dias ",ti pleh t'nac I"

    .elims citatsce reh delims ehs dnA

    ".meht evah ot evresed t'nod uoy os dna ,enoyna naht ssel meht etaicerppa uoy yllaer dnA .nerdlihc gnimrahc hcus owT" .sworbeye reh gnisiar dna redniojer on fo gnittimda enot a ni dedda ehs ",mih ekil t'nod I .tsegnuoy ruoy ,elotanA fo kaeps t'nod I ?nerdlihc didnelps hcus owt uoy nevig etaf sah yhW .detubirtsid era efil fo syoj eht semitemos ylriafnu woh kniht netfo I"--noitasrevnoc etamitni rof emoc dah emit eht dna dedne erew scipot laicos dna lacitilop taht wohs ot fi sa mih ta ylbaima gnilims dna ecnirp eht ot reraen gniward ,esuap trohs a retfa deunitnoc ehs ",kniht netfo I"

    .edutitarg dna tcepser sih yfingis ot dewob ecnirp ehT

    ".lufituaeb ylgnizama si ehs yas yehT ?reh yb derutparne neeb sah enoyreve tuo emac rethguad ruoy ecnis taht wonk uoy oD .ylimaf ruoy tuoba woN"

    :dias ehs os ,mih elosnoc ot emit emas eht ta dna )sserpmE eht ot dednemmocer nam a fo enod dah eh kaeps ot gnirad rof( mih ekuber ot htob dehsiw anvolvaP annA ,reh ot lautibah tcat dna ssenkciuq ekilreitruoc dna ylnamow eht htiw ,tuB .tnereffidni dekool dna tnelis saw ecnirp ehT

    .ssendas htiw revo deduolc ecaf reh niaga dna ,emitse'd puocuaeb eknuF noraB wohs ot dengied dah ytsejaM reH taht dedda ehS .ssenortap suoirtsulli reh denoitnem ehs emit yreve derrucco siht dna ,ssendas htiw delgnim tcepser dna noitoved erecnis dna dnuoforp fo noisserpxe na demussa ylneddus ecaf s'anvolvaP annA ,sserpmE eht deman ehs sA

    .enot lufnruom dna yrd a ni ,dias ehs lla saw ",retsis reh yb sserpmE regawoD eht ot dednemmocer neeb sah eknuF noraB"

    .htiw desaelp saw ro derised sserpmE eht tahw ezicitirc ot thgir a dah esle enoyna ron ehs rehtien taht etacidni ot seye reh desolc tsomla anvolvaP annA

    .norab eht rof ti eruces ot anvorodeF ayraM sserpmE regawoD eht hguorht gniyrt erew srehto tub ,nos sih rof tsop siht niatbo ot dehsiw ilisaV ecnirP

    ".erutaerc roop a si stnuocca lla yb norab ehT ?anneiV ta yraterces tsrif detnioppa eb ot eknuF noraB stnaw sserpmE regawoD eht taht eurt ti si" ,tisiv sih fo evitom feihc eht saw ksa ot tuoba saw eh noitseuq eht hguoht ,mih ot derrucco tsuj ylno dah ti fi sa ssensselerac deiduts htiw dedda eh ",em llet tuB" .ecnirp eht dias ",meht teem ot dethgiled eb llahs I"

    "?draeh uoy daH .rorepmE eht yb deviecer neeb sah eH ?rekniht dnuoforp taht wonk uoy oD .oiroM ebbA eht osla dnA .seno doog eht ,sergime eniuneg eht fo eno si eH .seilimaf hcnerF tseb eht fo eno ,snahoR eht hguorht sycneromtnoM eht htiw detcennoc si ohw ,trametroM ed etmociV el ,thginot nem gnitseretni yrev owt gnitcepxe ma I" ,niaga mlac gnimoceb ,dedda ehs ",soporp A .tnemom a nI"

    "?aet fo puc a em evig uoy lliW .tneuqole os era uoY .tluassa yb tnesnoc s'aissurP fo gniK eht derutpac evah dluow uoy edoregniztniW raed ruo fo daetsni tnes neeb dah uoy fi taht" ,elims a htiw ecnirp eht dias ",kniht I"

    .ytisoutepmi nwo reh ta gnilims ,desuap ylneddus ehS

    "!eporuE evas lliw eH .hcranom deroda ruo fo ynitsed ytfol eht dna doG ni ylno htiaf evah I .part a tsuj si ytilartuen naissurP suomaf sihT .rehtie ztiwguaH ro ,syas grubnedraH taht drow a eveileb t'nod I dnA ....mih erofeb sselrewop si eporuE lla taht dna ,elbicnivni si etrapanouB taht deralced syawla sah aissurP !mrofrep ton lliw yeht desimorp evah yeht elttil tahw dnA !gnihtoN ?desimorp yeht evah tahw dnA .dniknam fo doog eht serised ylno tub ,flesmih rof gnihton stnaw ohw rorepmE ruo fo noitagenba-fles eht dnatsrednu tonnac dna dootsrednu ton evah hsilgnE ehT .enoN ?teg vestlisovoN did rewsna tahW .snoitca ruo ni evitom terces emos ,skees llits dna ,dnif ot detnaw ehS .atlaM etaucave ot desufer sah ehS .luos fo ssenitfol s'rednaxelA rorepmE eht dnatsrednu tonnac dna ton lliw tirips laicremmoc reh htiw dnalgnE ...?no yler ew nac ,uoy ksa I ,mohW ....eno tsuj eht fo doolb eht egneva tsum enola eW !nialliv dna reredrum siht fo nosrep eht ni reve naht elbirret erom emoceb sah hcihw ,noitulover fo ardyh eht hsurc dna noitacov sih llifluf lliw eH .mih ekasrof ton lliw doG taht elbon dna suoutriv os si eh dna ,htrae no elor tselbon eht mrofrep ot sah ngierevos lufrednow dna doog ruO !ni htiaf evah I gniht eno eht si tahT .ti ot eurt eb lliw dna noitacov hgih sih sezingocer ngierevos suoicarg ruO .eporuE evas tsum enola aissuR !su gniyarteb si ehS .raw rof ,hsiw ton seod dna ,dehsiw sah reven airtsuA tub ,sgniht dnatsrednu t'nod I spahreP .airtsuA fo em ot kaeps t'nod ,hO"

    :tuo tsrub anvolvaP annA srettam lacitilop no noitasrevnoc a fo tsdim eht nI

    .tcerroc ot ,yrassecen ti deredisnoc ron ,dluoc ron ,dehsiw rehtien ehs hcihw ,tcefed gnimrahc reh fo ssensuoicsnoc launitnoc a ,dlihc deliops a ni sa ,desserpxe spil reh dnuor deyalp syawla ,serutaef dedaf reh tius ton did ti hguoht ,hcihw elims deudbus ehT .reh wenk ohw esoht fo snoitatcepxe eht tnioppasid ot ton redro ni citsaisuhtne emaceb ehs ,ti ekil leef ton did ehs nehw neve semitemos ,dna noitacov laicos reh emoceb dah tsaisuhtne na eb oT .ssenevislupmi dna noitamina htiw dewolfrevo ,sraey ytrof reh etipsed ,yrartnoc eht no rerehcS anvolvaP annA .trap elats a gnitaeper rotca na ekil ,yldiugnal ekops syawla ilisaV ecnirP

    ".sruo nrub ot ydaer era ew taht eveileb I dna ,staob sih tnrub sah etrapanouB taht dediced evah yehT ?dediced neeb sah tahW" .enot sseltsil ,dloc a ni ecnirp eht deilper "?ti tuoba yas eno nac tahW"

    ".gnihtyreve wonk uoY ?hctapsid s'vestlisovoN tuoba dediced neeb sah tahw dna ,lleW !esaet t'noD"

    .deveileb eb ot hsiw neve ton did eh sgniht dias tibah fo ecrof yb ,kcolc pu-dnuow a ekil ,ohw ,ecnirp eht dias ",ffo tup neeb evah dluow tnemniatretne eht ,ti dehsiw uoy taht nwonk dah yeht fI"

    ".emosiraew gnimoceb era skrowerif dna seitivitsef eseht lla ssefnoc I .delecnac neeb dah etef s'yadot thguoht I"

    ".ereht em ekat ot em rof gnimoc si rethguad yM" .ecnirp eht dias ",ereht ecnaraeppa na ni tup tsum I .yadsendeW si yadoT ?s'rodassabma hsilgnE eht ta etef eht dnA"

    "?epoh I ,gnineve elohw eht gniyats era uoY" .anvolvaP annA dias "?gnileef yna sah eno fi eseht ekil semit ni mlac eb eno naC ?yllarom gnireffus elihw llew eb eno naC"

    .denrecsid eb dluoc ynori neve dna ecnereffidni hcihw fo yhtapmys detceffa dna ssenetilop eht htaeneb ,enot sih gniretla tuohtiw eh dias ",tser ta dnim s'dneirf ruoy teS .era uoy woh em llet ,dneirf raed ,lla fo tsriF"

    .afos eht no flesmih detaes yltnecalpmoc dna ,daeh gninihs dna ,detnecs ,dlab sih reh ot gnitneserp ,dnah reh dessik ,anvolvaP annA ot pu tnew eH .truoc ta dna yteicos ni dlo nworg dah ohw ecnatropmi fo nam a ot larutan noitanotni gnizinortap ,eltneg eht htiw dna ,thguoht tub ekops ylno ton srehtafdnarg ruo hcihw ni hcnerF denifer taht ni ekops eH .ecaf talf sih no noisserpxe eneres a dna tsaerb sih no srats dah dna ,seohs dna ,sehceerb eenk ,mrofinu truoc derediorbme na gniraew ,deretne tsuj dah eH .noitpecer siht yb detrecnocsid tsael eht ni ton ,ecnirp eht deilper "!kcatta tneluriv a tahw !snevaeH"

    ".rerehcS ettennA -01 dna 7 neewteb thginot uoy ees ot demrahc yrev eb llahs I ,elbirret oot ton si dilavni roop a htiw gnineve na gnidneps fo tcepsorp eht fi dna ,]ecnirP ro[ tnuoC ,od ot retteb gnihton evah uoy fI"

    :swollof sa nar ,gninrom taht namtoof deirevil-telracs a yb dereviled dna ,hcnerF ni nettirw ,noitpecxe tuohtiw snoitativni reh llA

    .etile eht yb ylno desu ,grubsreteP .tS ni drow wen a neht gnieb eppirg ;eppirg al morf gnireffus ,dias ehs sa ,saw ehS .syad emos rof hguoc a dah dah anvolvaP annA .noitpecer reh ta evirra ot tsrif eht saw ohw ,ecnatropmi dna knar hgih fo nam a ,nigaruK ilisaV ecnirP deteerg ehs sdrow eseht htiW .anvorodeF ayraM sserpmE eht fo etirovaf dna ronoh fo diam ,rerehcS anvolvaP annA nwonk-llew eht saw rekaeps eht dna ,5081 ,yluJ ni saw tI

    ".swen eht lla em llet dna nwod tis--uoy denethgirf evah I ees I ?od uoy od woh tuB !flesruoy llac uoy sa ',evals lufhtiaf' ym regnol on ,dneirf ym regnol on era uoy dna uoy htiw od ot erom gnihton evah lliw I--tsirhcitnA si eh eveileb yllaer I--tsirhcitnA taht yb detarteprep srorroh dna seimafni eht dnefed ot yrt llits uoy fi ,raw snaem siht taht em llet t'nod uoy fi ,uoy nraw I tuB .setrapanouB eht fo setatse ylimaf tsuj won era accuL dna aoneG os ,ecnirP ,lleW"

    .ssenkrad teiuqnu eht ni niaga enola saw I dna ,dehsinav dah eh ybstaG rof erom ecno dekool I nehW .kcod a fo dne eht neeb evah thgim taht ,yawa raf dna etunim ,thgil neerg elgnis a tpecxe gnihton dehsiugnitsid dna���drawaes decnalg I yliratnulovnI .gnilbmert saw eh nrows evah dluoc I ,mih morf saw I sa raf ,dna ,yaw suoiruc a ni retaw krad eht drawot smra sih tuo dehcterts eh���enola eb ot tnetnoc saw eh taht noitamitni neddus a evag eh rof ,mih ot llac t���ndid I tuB .noitcudortni na rof od dluow taht dna ,rennid ta mih denoitnem dah rekaB ssiM .mih ot llac ot dediced I

    .snevaeh lacol ruo fo sih saw erahs tahw enimreted ot tuo emoc ,flesmih ybstaG .rM saw ti taht detseggus nwal eht nopu teef sih fo noitisop eruces eht dna stnemevom ylerusiel sih ni gnihtemoS .srats eht fo reppep revlis eht gnidrager stekcop sih ni sdnah sih htiw gnidnats saw dna noisnam s���robhgien ym fo wodahs eht morf degreme dah erugif a yawa teef ytfif���enola ton saw I taht was I ,ti hctaw ot daeh ym gninrut dna ,thgilnoom eht ssorca derevaw tac gnivom a fo etteuohlis ehT .efil fo lluf sgorf eht welb htrae eht fo swolleb lluf eht sa dnuos nagro tnetsisrep a dna seert eht ni gnitaeb sgniw htiw ,thgin thgirb ,duol a gnivael ,ffo nwolb dah dniw ehT .dray eht ni rellor ssarg denodnaba na no elihw a rof tas dna dehs sti rednu rac eht nar I ggE tseW ta etatse ym dehcaer I nehw dna ,thgil fo sloop ni tuo tas spmup-sag der wen erehw ,segarag edisyaw fo tnorf ni dna sfoor esuohdaor no remmus peed saw ti ydaerlA

    .traeh yrotpmerep sih dehsiruon regnol on msitoge lacisyhp ydruts sih fi sa saedi elats fo egde eht ta elbbin mih gnikam saw gnihtemoS .koob a yb desserped neeb dah eh taht naht gnisirprus ssel yllaer saw ���.kroY weN ni namow emos dah��� eh taht tcaf eht ,moT rof sA .daeh reh ni snoitnetni hcus on erew ereht yltnerappa tub���smra ni dlihc ,esuoh eht fo tuo hsur ot saw od ot ysiaD rof gniht eht taht em ot demees tI .yawa evord I sa detsugsid elttil a dna desufnoc saw I ,sselehtreven���hcir yletomer ssel meht edam dna em dehcuot rehtar tseretni riehT

    .egairram otni deromur gnieb fo noitnetni on dah I dnah rehto eht no dna ,sromur fo tnuocca no dneirf dlo na htiw gniog pots t���nac uoY .tsaE emoc dah I snosaer eht fo eno saw snnab eht dehsilbup dah pissog taht tcaf ehT .degagne yleugav neve t���nsaw I tub ,ot gnirrefer erew yeht tahw wenk I esruoc fO

    ���.eurt eb tsum ti os ,elpoep eerht morf ti draeh eW��� .yaw ekil-rewolf a ni niaga pu gninepo yb em gnisirprus ,ysiaD detsisni ���,ti draeh ew tuB���

    ���.roop oot m���I .lebil s���tI���

    ���.degagne erew uoy taht draeh eW��� .yldnik moT detaroborroc ���,thgir s���tahT���

    ���.tseW tuo lrig a ot degagne erew uoy draeh eW .tnatropmi s���ti dna ,gnihtemos uoy ksa ot togrof I���

    ���!tiaW��� :dellac ylirotpmerep ysiaD rotom ym detrats I sA .thgil fo erauqs lufreehc a ni edis yb edis doots dna em htiw rood eht ot emac yehT .emoh og ot pu tog I retal setunim wef a dna ,lla ta gnihton draeh dah I taht ylthgil dias I

    .em desivda eh ���,kciN ,raeh uoy gnihtyreve eveileb t���noD���

    ��──�wonk uoy gniht tsrif dna su no pu tperc fo tros tI .did ew erus m���I ,seY .ecar cidroN eht tuoba deklat ew kniht I tub ,rebmemer ot mees t���nac I���

    .em ta dekool ehS ���?I diD���

    .ylneddus moT dednamed ���?adnarev eht no klat traeh ot traeh elttil a kciN evig uoy diD���

    ��──�etihw lufituaeb ruO .ereht rehtegot dessap saw doohlrig etihw ruO .ellivsiuoL morF���

    .ylkciuq deksa I ���?kroY weN morf ehs sI���

    .ecnelis ni tnemom a rof rehto hcae ta dekool moT dna ysiaD

    ���.reh rof doog yrev eb lliw ecneulfni emoh eht kniht I .remmus siht ereh tuo sdne-keew fo stol dneps ot gniog s���ehS ?kciN ,uoy t���nera ,reh retfa kool ot gniog s���kciN ,sediseB .dlo sraey dnasuoht a tuoba tnua eno si ylimaf reH���

    ���.ylimaf reH���

    .yldloc ysiaD deriuqni ���?ot t���nthguo ohW���

    ���.yaw siht yrtnuoc eht dnuora nur reh tel ot t���nthguo yehT��� .tnemom a retfa moT dias ���,lrig ecin a s���ehS���

    ���.drow a draeh t���nevah I��� .sriats eht morf rekaB ssiM dellac ���,thgin dooG���

    ��──�gniht fo tros taht lla dna ,taob a ni aes ot tuo uoy hsup dna stesolc nenil ni yllatnedicca pu uoy kcol���wonk uoY .rehtegot uoy gnilf���ho���fo tros ll���I dna ,kciN ,netfo revo emoC .egairram a egnarra ll���I kniht I tcaf nI��� .ysiaD demrifnoc ���,lliw uoy esruoc fO���

    ���.nona uoy eeS .yawarraC .rM ,thgin dooG .lliw I���

    ���.pu teg ll���uoy fI���

    ���.uoy t���now ,thgie ta em ekaW��� .yltfos dias ehs ���,thgin dooG���

    .oga gnol nettogrof dah I saw ti tahw tub ,yrots tnasaelpnu ,lacitirc a ,oot reh fo yrots emos draeh dah I .hcaeB mlaP dna sgnirpS toH dna ellivehsA ta efil gnitrops eht fo serutcip eruvargotor ynam morf em ta tuo dekool dah noisserpxe suoutpmetnoc gnisaelp sti���railimaf saw ecaf reh yhw won wenk I

    ���.REKAB nadroJ er���uoy���hO���

    ���.retsehctseW ta revo��� ,ysiaD denialpxe ���,worrom-ot tnemanruot eht ni yalp ot gniog s���nadroJ���

    ���.deb ot og ot lrig doog siht rof emiT��� .gniliec eht no emit eht gnidnif yltnerappa ,dekramer ehs ���,kcolc���o neT���

    .pu doots ehs dna ,eenk reh fo tnemevom sseltser a htiw flesti detressa ydob reH

    ���.eussi txen yrev ruo ni��� ,elbat eht no enizagam eht gnissot ,dias ehs ���,deunitnoc eb oT���

    .dnah detfil a htiw tnemom a rof tnelis su dleh ehs ni emac ew nehW

    .smra reh ni selcsum rednels fo rettulf a htiw egap a denrut ehs sa repap eht gnola detnilg ,riah reh fo wolley fael-nmutua eht no llud dna stoob sih no thgirb ,thgil-pmal ehT .enut gnihtoos a ni rehtegot gninnur ,detcelfninu dna suorumrum ,sdrow eht���.TSOP GNINEVE YADRUTAS eht morf mih ot duola daer ehs dna hcuoc gnol eht fo dne rehtie ta tas rekaB ssiM dna moT

    .thgil htiw demoolb moor nosmirc eht ,edisnI

    .degnoleb moT dna ehs hcihw ot yteicos terces dehsiugnitsid rehtar a ni pihsrebmem reh detressa dah ehs fi sa ,ecaf ylevol reh no krims etulosba na htiw em ta dekool ehs tnemom a ni ,hguone erus dna ,detiaw I .em morf noitome yrotubirtnoc a tcaxe ot tros emos fo kcirt a neeb dah gnineve elohw eht hguoht sa ,ysaenu em edam tI .dias dah ehs tahw fo ytirecnisni cisab eht tlef I ,feileb ym ,noitnetta ym lepmoc ot gnisaec ,ffo ekorb eciov reh tnatsni ehT

    ���!detacitsihpos m���I ,doG���detacitsihpoS��� .nrocs gnillirht htiw dehgual ehs dna ,s���moT ekil rehtar ,yaw tnaifed a ni reh dnuora dehsalf seye reH ���.gnihtyreve enod dna gnihtyreve nees dna erehwyreve neeb ev���I .WONK I dnA .elpoep decnavda tsom eht���os skniht ydobyrevE��� .yaw decnivnoc a ni no tnew ehs ���,wohyna elbirret s���gnihtyreve kniht I ees uoY���

    ���.loof elttil lufituaeb a ,dlrow siht ni eb nac lrig a gniht tseb eht s���taht���loof a eb ll���ehs epoh I dnA .lrig a s���ti dalg m���I��� ,dias I ���,thgir lla��� .tpew dna yawa daeh ym denrut I os dna ,lrig a saw ti em dlot ehS .lrig a ro yob a saw ti fi yawa thgir esrun eht deksa dna ,gnileef denodnaba ylrettu na htiw rehte eht fo tuo pu ekow I .erehw swonk doG saw moT dna dlo ruoh na naht ssel saw ehs ,lleW .sgniht���tuoba leef ot nettog ev���I woh uoy wohs ll���tI���

    ���.hcum yreV���

    ���?raeh ot ekil uoy dluoW .nrob saw ehs nehw dias I tahw uoy llet em tel ;kciN ,netsiL��� .yltnesba em ta dekool ehS ���.sey ,hO���

    ���.gnihtyreve dna ,stae���dna ,sklat ehs esoppus I���

    .rethguad reh fo tcejbus eht ot ylbeef rehtar denruter I tnemom a retfa dna ,erom yna yas t���ndid ehs tub detiaw I .eb ot nosaer dah ehs yltnedivE

    ���.gnihtyreve tuoba lacinyc ytterp m���I dna ,kciN ,emit dab yrev a dah ev���I ,lleW��� .detatiseh ehS ���.eurt s���tahT���

    ���.raw eht morf kcab t���nsaw I���

    ���.gniddew ym ot emoc t���ndid uoY .snisuoc era ew fi nevE��� .ylneddus dias ehs ���,kciN ,llew yrev rehto hcae wonk t���nod eW���

    .lrig elttil reh tuoba snoitseuq evitades emos eb dluow thguoht I tahw deksa I os ,reh dessessop snoitome tnelubrut taht was I .ksud tevlev eht otni tuo yllaudarg devom seye reh dna ,epahs ylevol sti gnileef fi sa sdnah reh ni ecaf reh koot ysiaD

    .eettes rekciw a no edis yb edis nwod tas ew moolg peed sti nI .tnorf ni hcrop eht ot sadnarev gnitcennoc fo niahc a dnuora ysiaD dewollof I ,faed elttil a dna detseretni yltnasaelp kool ot gniyrt ,elihw ,ydob elbignat yltcefrep a ediseb ligiv a ot fi sa ,yrarbil eht otni kcab dellorts ,meht neewteb thgiliwt fo teef lareves htiw ,rekaB ssiM dna moT .niaga denoitnem ton erew ,yas ot sseldeen ,sesroh ehT

    .ecilop eht rof yletaidemmi enohpelet ot saw tcnitsni nwo ym���gniugirtni demees evah thgim noitautis eht tnemarepmet niatrec a oT .dnim fo tuo ycnegru cillatem llirhs s���tseug htfif siht tup ot ylrettu elba saw ,msicitpecs ydrah niatrec a deretsam evah ot demees ohw ,rekaB ssiM neve fi tbuod I tub ,gnikniht erew moT dna ysiaD tahw sseug t���ndluoc I .seye lla diova ot tey dna ,eno yreve ta ylerauqs kool ot gnitnaw fo suoicsnoc saw I dna ,ylsseltniop ,niaga til gnieb seldnac eht rebmemer I elbat ta setunim evif tsal eht fo stnemgarf nekorb eht gnomA .ria otni dehsinav ,stcejbus lla tcaf ni ,selbats eht fo tcejbus eht moT ta ylevisiced daeh reh koohs ysiaD sa dna ,ylgniltrats ,edisni gnar enohpelet ehT

    ���.selbats eht ot nwod uoy ekat ot tnaw I ,rennid retfa hguone thgil s���ti fI��� :em ot ylbaresim neht dna ,dias eh ���,citnamor yreV���

    ���?moT ,ti t���nsi ,citnamor s���tI��� :gnas eciov reH ��──�yawa gnignis s���eH .eniL ratS etihW ro dranuC eht no revo emoc elagnithgin a eb tsum kniht I taht nwal eht no drib a s���erehT .sroodtuo citnamor yrev s���ti dna ,etunim a rof sroodtuo dekool I��� :deunitnoc dna ,em ta neht dna rekaB ssiM ta ylgnihcraes decnalg ,nwod tas ehS

    .yteiag esnet htiw ysiaD deirc ���!depleh eb t���ndluoc tI���

    .elbat eht ta kcab erew ysiaD dna moT dna ,stoob rehtael fo hcnurc eht dna sserd a fo rettulf eht saw ereht gninaem reh depsarg dah I erofeb tsomlA

    ���?kniht uoy t���noD .emit rennid ta mih enohpelet ot ton ycneced eht evah thgim ehS���

    .deddon rekaB ssiM

    .ylknalb detaeper I ���?namow emos toG���

    ���.kroY weN ni namow emos tog s���moT��� ,yltnatiseh dias ehs ��──�yhW���

    ���.t���nod I���

    ���.wenk ydobyreve thguoht I��� .desirprus yltsenoh ,rekaB ssiM dias ���?wonk t���nod uoy yas ot naem uoY���

    .yltneconni deriuqni I ���?gnineppah gnihtemos sI���

    ���.sneppah tahw raeh ot tnaw I .klat t���noD���

    .dias I ��──�robhgien ym si fo ekops uoy ybstaG .rM sihT���

    .rehtegotla desaec neht dna ,yldeticxe detnuom ,nwod knas ,ecnerehoc fo egrev eht no delbmert rumrum ehT .raeh ot gniyrt ,demahsanu drawrof denael rekaB ssiM dna ,dnoyeb moor eht ni elbidua saw rumrum denoissapmi deudbus A .eciov gninraw a ni ���!hS��� dias dna yltrela pu tas ehs nehw kaeps ot tuoba saw I .gninaem fo dioved ylsuoicsnoc ecnalg trohs a degnahcxe I dna rekaB ssiM

    .esuoh eht otni tnew dna flesreh desucxe dna elbat eht no nikpan reh werht ehs ylneddus nehT .sdrow gnillirht ,sselhtaerb esoht fo eno ni delaecnoc uoy ot tuo emoc ot gniyrt saw traeh reh fi sa ,reh morf dewolf htmraw gnirrits a tub ,gniziropmetxe ylno saw ehS .esor a ekil yltniaf neve ton ma I .eurtnu saw sihT

    ���?esor etulosba nA��� :noitamrifnoc rof rekaB ssiM ot denrut ehS ���?eh t���nseoD .esor etulosba na ,esor a fo���a fo em dnimer uoY .kciN ,elbat ym ta uoy ees ot evol I���

    .gnignis dna gniwolg eciov reh ,niaga drawrof denael ysiaD ,reh nihtiw gnihtemos denekciuq ecnesba sih fi sA .edisni tnew drow a tuohtiw dna ,riahc sih kcab dehsup ,denworf moT nopuerehw ,rae s���moT ot esolc gnihtemos derumrum dna kcab emac reltub ehT

    .ksud ta teerts tnasaelp a gnivael nerdlihc ekil ,terger gniregnil htiw reh gnitresed thgil hcae ,dedaf wolg eht neht���denetsil I sa ylsselhtaerb drawrof em dellepmoc eciov reh ;ecaf gniwolg reh nopu noitceffa citnamor htiw llef enihsnus tsal eht tnemom a roF

    ���.noitisop sih pu evig ot dah eh yllanif litnu ,esrow ot dab morf tnew sgnihT .seY���

    .rekaB ssiM detseggus ���,esrow ot dab morf tnew sgnihT���

    ��──�eson sih tceffa ot nageb ti yllanif litnu ,thgin llit gninrom morf ti hsilop ot dah eH .elpoep derdnuh owt rof ecivres revlis a dah taht kroY weN ni elpoep emos rof rehsilop revlis eht eb ot desu eh ;reltub a syawla t���nsaw eh ,lleW���

    ���.thgin-ot revo emac I yhw s���tahT���

    ���?eson s���reltub eht tuoba raeh ot tnaw uoy oD .eson s���reltub eht tuoba s���tI��� .yllacitsaisuhtne derepsihw ehs ���,terces ylimaf a uoy llet ll���I���

    .em drawot denael dna noitpurretni yratnemom eht nopu dezies ysiaD hcrop eht tfel reltub eht dna edisni gnar enohpelet eht ,yletaidemmi tsomla ,nehW .erom yna mih ot hguone ton saw ,dlo fo naht etuca erom ,ycnecalpmoc sih fi sa ,noitartnecnoc sih ni citehtap gnihtemos saw erehT

    ���?ees uoy oD .taht lla dna ,tra dna ecneics ,ho���noitazilivic ekam ot og taht sgniht eht lla decudorp ev���ew dnA��� .niaga em ta dekniw ehs dna ,don thgils a htiw ysiaD dedulcni eh noitatiseh lamisetinifni na retfA ��──�dna ,era uoy dna ,era uoy dna ,ma I .scidroN er���ew taht si aedi sihT���

    .riahc sih ni ylivaeh gnitfihs yb reh detpurretni moT tub ,rekaB ssiM nageb ��─�ainrofilaC ni evil ot thguo uoY���

    .nus tnevref eht drawot ylsuoicoref gnikniw ,ysiaD derepsihw ���,nwod meht taeb ot tog ev���eW���

    ���.sgniht fo lortnoc evah lliw secar rehto eseht ro tuo hctaw ot ,ecar tnanimod eht era ohw ,su ot pu s���tI .gniht elohw eht tuo dekrow sah wollef sihT��� .yltneitapmi reh ta gnicnalg ,moT detsisni ���,cifitneics lla era skoob eseht ,lleW���

    ��──�ew drow taht saw tahW .meht ni sdrow gnol htiw skoob peed sdaer eH��� .ssendas lufthguohtnu fo noisserpxe na htiw ,ysiaD dias ���,dnuoforp yrev gnitteg s���moT���

    ���.devorp neeb s���ti ;ffuts cifitneics lla s���tI .degrembus ylrettu eb lliw���eb lliw ecar etihw eht tuo kool t���nod ew fi si aedi ehT .ti daer ot thguo ydobyreve dna ,koob enif a s���ti ,lleW���

    .enot sih yb desirprus rehtar ,derewsna I ���,on ,yhW���

    ���?draddoG nam siht yb ���seripmE deroloC eht fo esiR ehT��� daer uoy evaH .sgniht tuoba tsimissep elbirret a eb ot nettog ev���I��� .yltneloiv moT tuo ekorb ���,seceip ot gniog s���noitaziliviC���

    .yaw detcepxenu na ni pu nekat saw ti tub ,kramer siht yb ralucitrap ni gnihton tnaem I

    ���?gnihtemos ro sporc tuoba klat uoy t���naC��� .teralc evisserpmi rehtar tub ykroc fo ssalg dnoces ym no dessefnoc I ���,ysiaD ,dezilivicnu leef em ekam uoY���

    .flesti tnemom eht fo daerd suovren reehs ni esle ro noitapicitna detnioppasid yllaunitnoc a ni ,esolc sti drawot esahp ot esahp morf deirruh saw gnineve na erehw ,tseW eht morf tnereffid ylprahs saw tI .yawa tup yllausac dna revo eb dluow oot gnineve eht retal elttil a dna revo eb dluow rennid yltneserp taht wenk yehT .deniatretne eb ot ro niatretne ot troffe tnasaelp etilop a ylno gnikam ,em dna moT detpecca yeht dna ,ereh erew yehT .erised lla fo ecnesba eht ni seye lanosrepmi rieht dna sesserd etihw rieht sa looc sa saw taht ,rettahc etiuq reven saw taht ecneuqesnocni gniretnab a htiw dna ylevisurtbonu ,ecno ta deklat rekaB ssiM dna ehs semitemoS

    .ysiaD detsisni ���,gnikluH���

    ���.gniddik ni neve��� ,ylssorc moT detcejbo ���,gnikluh drow taht etah I���

    ��──�a fo nemiceps lacisyhp gnikluh ,gib ,taerg a ,nam a fo eturb a gniyrram rof teg I tahw s���tahT .ti od DID uoy tub ,ot naem t���ndid uoy wonk I��� .ylgnisucca dias ehs ���,moT ,ti did uoY���

    .eulb dna kcalb saw elkcunk eht���dekool lla eW

    ���.ti truh I��� ;denialpmoc ehs ���!kooL���

    .regnif elttil reh no noisserpxe dewa na htiw denetsaf seye reh rewsna dluoc I erofeB

    ���?nalp elpoep od tahW��� :ylsselpleh em ot denrut ehS ���?nalp ew ll���tahW��� .ysiaD dias ���,thgir llA���

    .deb otni gnitteg erew ehs fi sa elbat eht ta nwod gnittis ,rekaB ssiM denway ���,gnihtemos nalp ot thguo eW���

    ���.ti ssim neht dna raey eht ni yad tsegnol eht rof hctaw syawla I ?ti ssim neht dna raey eht fo yad tsegnol eht rof hctaw syawla uoy oD��� .yltnaidar lla su ta dekool ehS ���.raey eht ni yad tsegnol eht eb ll���ti skeew owt nI��� .sregnif reh htiw tuo meht deppans ehS .gninworf ,ysiaD detcejbo ���?SELDNAC yhW���

    .dniw dehsinimid eht ni elbat eht no derekcilf seldnac ruof erehw ,tesnus eht drawot nepo ,hcrop deroloc-ysor a otno tuo su dedecerp nemow gnuoy owt eht ,spih rieht no ylthgil tes sdnah rieht ,yldiugnal ,ylrednelS

    .erauqs rehtona ot rekcehc a gnivom erew eh hguoht sa moor eht morf em dellepmoc nanahcuB moT ,enim rednu ylevitarepmi mra esnet sih gnigdew ;decnuonna saw rennid robhgien ym saw eh taht ylper dluoc I erofeB

    ���?ybstaG tahW��� .ysiaD dednamed ���?ybstaG���

    ���.ybstaG wonk tsum uoY���

    ��──�elgnis a wonk t���nod I���

    ���.ereht ydobemos wonk I��� .ylsuoutpmetnoc dekramer ehs ���,ggE tseW ni evil uoY���

    .erofeb erehwemos ,reh fo erutcip a ro ,reh nees dah I taht won em ot derrucco tI .ecaf detnetnocsid ,gnimrahc ,naw a fo tuo ytisoiruc lacorpicer etilop htiw em ta kcab dekool seye deniarts-nus yarg reH .tedac gnuoy a ekil sredluohs eht ta drawkcab ydob reh gniworht yb detautnecca ehs hcihw ,egairrac tcere na htiw ,lrig detsaerb-llams ,rednels a saw ehS .reh ta gnikool deyojne I ���.enod tog��� ehs saw ti tahw gnirednow ,rekaB ssiM ta dekool I

    ���.em dnoyeb si enod gnihtyna teg reve uoy woH��� .ssalg a fo mottob eht ni pord a erew ti fi sa knird sih nwod koot eH ���!era uoY���

    .ylsuoludercni reh ta dekool tsoh reH

    ���.gniniart ni yletulosba m���I��� ,yrtnap eht morf ni tsuj sliatkcoc ruof eht ot rekaB ssiM dias ���,sknaht ,oN���

    ���.noonretfa lla kroY weN ot uoy teg ot gniyrt neeb ev���I��� ,detroter ysiaD ���,em ta kool t���noD���

    ���.rebmemer nac I sa gnol sa rof afos taht no gniyl neeb ev���I��� ,denialpmoc ehs ���,ffits m���I���

    .moor eht otni pu doots stnemevom tfed ,dipar fo seires a htiw dna denway ehs rof ,em did ti sa hcum sa reh desirprus ti yltnedivE .moor eht otni emac I ecnis derettu ehs drow tsrif eht saw ti���detrats I taht ssenneddus hcus htiw ���!yletulosbA��� :dias rekaB ssiM tniop siht tA

    ���.esle erehwyna evil ot loof denmad doG a eb d���I��� .erom gnihtemos rof trela erew eh fi sa ,em ta kcab neht dna ysiaD ta gnicnalg ,dias eh ���,yrrow uoy t���nod ,tsaE eht ni yats ll���I ,hO���

    ���.tsaE eht ni yats uoy fi lliw uoY��� .yltrohs derewsna I ���,lliw uoY���

    .em deyonna sihT

    .ylevisiced dekramer eh ���,meht fo draeh reveN���

    .mih dlot I

    ���?htiw ohW���

    ���.nam dnob a m���I���

    ���?kciN ,gniod uoy tahW���

    .redluohs ym no dnah sih detser dna deppots ,moor eht tuoba ylsseltser gnirevoh neeb dah ohw ,nanahcuB moT

    ��──�s���ehS .reh ees ot thguo uoy ,lleW���

    ���.reveN���

    ���?reh nees reve uoy t���nevaH .dlo sraey eerht s���ehS .peelsa s���ehS���

    ���.ot ekil d���I���

    ���.ybab eht ees ot thguo uoY��� :yltnavelerri dedda ehs nehT ���!worrom-oT .moT ,kcab og s���teL !suoegrog woH���

    ���.erohs htron eht gnola thgin lla liaw tnetsisrep a s���ereht dna ,htaerw gninruom a sa kcalb detniap leehw raer tfel eht evah srac eht llA .etalosed si nwot elohw ehT���

    .yllacitatsce deirc ehs ���?em ssim yeht oD���

    .em hguorht evol rieht tnes dah elpoep nezod a woh dna ,tsaE yaw ym no yad a rof ogacihC ni ffo deppots dah I woh reh dlot I

    .ruoh txen eht ni gnirevoh sgniht gniticxe ,yag erew ereht taht dna ecnis elihw a tsuj sgniht gniticxe ,yag enod dah ehs taht esimorp a ���,netsiL��� derepsihw a ,noislupmoc gnignis a :tegrof ot tluciffid dnuof reh rof derac dah ohw nem taht eciov reh ni tnemeticxe na saw ereht tub ,htuom etanoissap thgirb a dna seye thgirb ,ti ni sgniht thgirb htiw ylevol dna das saw ecaf reH .niaga deyalp eb reven lliw taht seton fo tnemegnarra na si hceeps hcae fi sa ,nwod dna pu swollof rae eht taht eciov fo dnik eht saw tI .eciov gnillirht ,wol reh ni snoitseuq em ksa ot nageb ohw ,nisuoc ym ta kcab dekool I

    .em morf etubirt dennuts a sward ycneiciffus-fles etelpmoc fo noitibihxe yna tsomlA .spil ym ot esora ygolopa fo tros a niagA .thgirf a fo gnihtemos reh nevig dna elttil a derettot ylsuoivbo dah gnicnalab saw ehs tcejbo eht���niaga kcab daeh reh deppit ylkciuq neht dna ,ylbitpecrepmi tsomla em ta deddon ehs ,derettulf spil s���rekaB ssiM ,etar yna tA

    ).gnimrahc ssel on ti edam taht msicitirc tnavelerri na ;reh drawot nael elpoep ekam ot ylno saw rumrum s���ysiaD taht dias ti draeh ev���I( .rekaB saw lrig gnicnalab eht fo emanrus eht taht rumrum a ni detnih ehS .dah ehs yaw a saw tahT .ees ot detnaw hcum os ehs dlrow eht ni eno on saw ereht taht gnisimorp ,ecaf ym otni pu gnikool ,tnemom a rof dnah ym dleh dna ,yttiw yrev gnihtemos dias ehs fi sa ,niaga dehgual ehS ���.ssenippah htiw dezylarap-p m���I���

    .moor eht otni drawrof emac dna oot dehgual I dna ,hgual elttil gnimrahc ,drusba na ,dehgual ehs neht���noisserpxe suoitneicsnoc a htiw drawrof ylthgils denael ehs���esir ot tpmetta na edam ,ysiaD ,lrig rehto ehT

    .ni gnimoc yb reh debrutsid gnivah rof ygolopa na gnirumrum otni desirprus tsomla saw I ,deedni���ti fo tnih on evag ehs seye reh fo renroc eht fo tuo em was ehs fI .llaf ot ylekil etiuq saw hcihw ti no gnihtemos gnicnalab erew ehs fi sa ,elttil a desiar nihc reh htiw dna ,sselnoitom yletelpmoc ,navid eht fo dne reh ta htgnel lluf dednetxe saw ehS .em ot regnarts a saw owt eht fo regnuoy ehT

    .roolf eht ot ylwols denoollab nemow gnuoy owt eht dna sgur eht dna sniatruc eht dna ,moor eht tuoba tuo deid dniw thguac eht dna swodniw raer eht tuhs nanahcuB moT sa moob a saw ereht nehT .llaw eht no erutcip a fo naorg eht dna sniatruc eht fo pans dna pihw eht ot gninetsil stnemom wef a rof doots evah tsum I .esuoh eht dnuora thgilf trohs a retfa ni kcab nwolb neeb tsuj dah yeht fi sa gnirettulf dna gnilppir erew sesserd rieht dna ,etihw ni htob erew yehT .noollab derohcna na nopu hguoht sa pu deyoub erew nemow gnuoy owt hcihw no hcuoc suomrone na saw moor eht ni tcejbo yranoitats yletelpmoc ylno ehT

    .aes eht no seod dniw sa ti no wodahs a gnikam ,gur deroloc-eniw eht revo delppir neht dna ,gniliec eht fo ekac-gniddew detsorf eht drawot pu meht gnitsiwt ,sgalf elap ekil rehto eht tuo dna dne eno ta ni sniatruc welb ,moor eht hguorht welb ezeerb A .esuoh eht otni yaw elttil a worg ot demees taht edistuo ssarg hserf eht tsniaga etihw gnimaelg dna raja erew swodniw ehT .dne rehtie ta swodniw hcnerF yb esuoh eht otni dnuob yleligarf ,ecaps deroloc-ysor thgirb a otni yawllah hgih a hguorht deklaw eW

    ���.edisni og ll���eW��� .yltpurba dna yletilop ,niaga dnuora em denrut eH ���.nam lio eht ,eniameD ot degnoleb tI���

    .erohsffo edit eht depmub taht taob-rotom deson-buns a dna ,sesor tnegnup ,peed fo erca flah a ,nedrag nailatI neknus a peews sti ni gnidulcni ,atsiv tnorf eht gnola dnah talf daorb a devom eh ,mra eno yb dnuora em gninruT

    .ylsseltser tuoba gnihsalf seye sih ,dias eh ���,ereh ecalp ecin a tog ev���I���

    .hcrop ynnus eht no setunim wef a rof deklat eW

    .nwo sih fo ssenluftsiw tnaifed ,hsrah emos htiw mih ekil ot em detnaw dna em fo devorppa eh taht noisserpmi eht dah syawla I etamitni reven erew ew elihw dna ,yteicos roines emas eht ni erew eW ���.era uoy naht nam a fo erom dna regnorts m���I esuaceb tsuj��� ,yas ot demees eh ���,lanif si srettam eseht no noinipo ym kniht t���nod ,woN���

    .stug sih detah dah ohw nevaH weN ta nem erew ereht dna���dekil eh elpoep drawot neve ,ti ni tpmetnoc lanretap fo hcuot a saw erehT .deyevnoc eh ssensuoitcarf fo noisserpmi eht ot dedda ,ronet yksuh ffurg a ,eciov gnikaeps siH

    .ydob leurc a���egarevel suomrone fo elbapac ydob a saw tI .taoc niht sih rednu devom redluohs sih nehw gnitfihs elcsum fo kcap taerg a ees dluoc uoy dna ,gnical pot eht deniarts eh litnu stoob gninetsilg esoht llif ot demees eh���ydob taht fo rewop suomrone eht edih dluoc sehtolc gnidir sih fo knaws etanimeffe eht neve toN .drawrof ylevissergga gninael syawla fo ecnaraeppa eht mih evag dna ecaf sih revo ecnanimod dehsilbatse dah seye tnagorra gninihs owT .rennam suoilicrepus a dna htuom drah rehtar a htiw ytriht fo nam deriah-warts ydruts a saw eh woN .sraey nevaH weN sih ecnis degnahc dah eH

    .hcrop tnorf eht no trapa sgel sih htiw gnidnats saw sehtolc gnidir ni nanahcuB moT dna ,noonretfa ydniw mraw eht ot nepo ediw dna dlog detcelfer htiw won gniwolg ,swodniw hcnerF fo enil a yb nekorb saw tnorf ehT .nur sti fo mutnemom eht morf hguoht sa seniv thgirb ni edis eht pu gnitfird esuoh eht dehcaer ti nehw yllanif���snedrag gninrub dna sklaw kcirb dna slaid-nus revo gnipmuj ,elim a fo retrauq a rof rood tnorf eht drawot nar dna hcaeb eht ta detrats nwal ehT .yab eht gnikoolrevo ,noisnam lainoloC naigroeG etihw-dna-der lufreehc a ,detcepxe I naht etarobale erom neve saw esuoh riehT .lla ta wenk ylecracs I mohw sdneirf dlo owt ees ot ggE tsaE ot revo evord I gnineve ydniw mraw a no taht deneppah ti os dnA

    .emag llabtoof elbarevocerri emos fo ecnelubrut citamard eht rof ,ylluftsiw elttil a ,gnikees reverof no tfird dluow moT taht tlef I tub ,traeh s���ysiaD otni thgis on dah I���ti eveileb t���ndid I tub ,enohpelet eht revo ysiaD dias ,evom tnenamrep a saw sihT .rehtegot hcir erew dna olop deyalp elpoep reverehw ylluftsernu ereht dna ereh detfird neht dna ,nosaer ralucitrap on rof ecnarF ni raey a tneps dah yehT .wonk t���nod I tsaE emac yeht yhW

    .taht od ot hguone yhtlaew saw noitareneg nwo ym ni nam a taht ezilaer ot drah saw ti .tseroF ekaL morf seinop olop fo gnirts a nwod thguorb d���eh ,ecnatsni rof :yawa htaerb ruoy koot rehtar taht noihsaf a ni tsaE emoc dna ogacihC tfel d���eh won tub���hcaorper rof rettam a saw yenom htiw modeerf sih egelloc ni neve���yhtlaew ylsuomrone erew ylimaf siH .xamilc-itna fo srovas drawretfa gnihtyreve taht eno-ytnewt ta ecnellecxe detimil etuca na hcus hcaer ohw nem esoht fo eno ,yaw a ni erugif lanoitan a���nevaH weN ta llabtoof deyalp reve taht sdne lufrewop tsom eht fo eno neeb dah ,stnemhsilpmocca lacisyhp suoirav gnoma ,dnabsuh reH

    .ogacihC ni meht htiw syad owt tneps I raw eht retfa tsuj dnA .egelloc ni moT nwonk d���I dna ,devomer ecno nisuoc dnoces ym saw ysiaD .snanahcuB moT eht htiw rennid evah ot ereht revo evord I gnineve eht no snigeb yllaer remmus eht fo yrotsih eht dna ,retaw eht gnola derettilg ggE tsaE elbanoihsaf fo secalap etihw eht yab ysetruoc eht ssorcA

    .htnom a srallod ythgie rof lla���serianoillim fo ytimixorp gnilosnoc eht dna ,nwal s���robhgien ym fo weiv laitrap a ,retaw eht fo weiv a dah I os ,dekoolrevo neeb dah ti dna ,eroseye llams a saw ti tub ,eroseye na saw esuoh nwo yM .eman taht fo nameltneg a yb detibahni noisnam a saw ti ,ybstaG .rM wonk t���ndid I sa ,rehtar ,rO .noisnam s���ybstaG saw ti .nedrag dna nwal fo serca ytrof naht erom dna ,loop gnimmiws elbram a dna ,yvi war fo draeb niht a rednu wen gniknaps ,edis eno no rewot a htiw ,ydnamroN ni elliV ed letoH emos fo noitatimi lautcaf a saw ti���dradnats yna yb riaffa lassoloc a saw thgir ym no eno eht .nosaes a dnasuoht neetfif ro evlewt rof detner taht secalp eguh owt neewteb dezeeuqs dna ,dnuoS eht morf sdray ytfif ylno ,gge eht fo pit yrev eht ta saw esuoh ym .meht neewteb tsartnoc retsinis elttil a ton dna errazib eht sserpxe ot gat laicifrepus tsom a si siht hguoht ,owt eht fo elbanoihsaf ssel eht ,llew���eht ,ggE tseW ta devil I

    .ezis dna epahs tpecxe ralucitrap yreve ni ytiralimissid rieht si nonemonehp gnitserra erom a sselgniw eht ot .daehrevo ylf taht sllug eht ot noisufnoc lauteprep fo ecruos a eb tsum ecnalbmeser lacisyhp rieht tub���dne tcatnoc eht ta talf dehsurc htob era yeht ,yrots submuloC eht ni gge eht ekil���slavo tcefrep ton era yeht .dnuoS dnalsI gnoL fo draynrab tew taerg eht ,erehpsimeh nretseW eht ni retaw tlas fo ydob detacitsemod tsom eht otni tuo tuj ,yab ysetruoc a yb ylno detarapes dna ruotnoc ni lacitnedi ,sgge suomrone fo riap a ytic eht morf selim ytnewT .dnal fo snoitamrof lausunu owt ,seitisoiruc larutan rehto gnoma ,era ereht erehw dna���kroY weN fo tsae eud flesti sdnetxe hcihw dnalsi suotoir rednels taht no saw tI .aciremA htroN ni seitinummoc tsegnarts eht fo eno ni esuoh a detner evah dluohs I taht ecnahc fo rettam a saw tI

    .lla retfa ,wodniw elgnis a morf ta dekool yllufsseccus erom hcum si efil���margipe na tsuj t���nsi sihT ���.nam dednuor-llew��� eht ,stsilaiceps lla fo detimil tsom taht niaga emoceb dna efil ym otni sgniht hcus lla kcab gnirb ot gniog saw I won dna���.sweN elaY��� eht rof slairotide suoivbo dna nmelos yrev fo seires a etorw I raey eno���egelloc ni yraretil rehtar saw I .sediseb skoob rehto ynam gnidaer fo noitnetni hgih eht dah I dnA .wenk saneceaM dna nagroM dna sadiM ylno taht sterces gninihs eht dlofnu ot gnisimorp ,tnim eht morf yenom wen ekil dlog dna der ni flehs ym no doots yeht dna ,seitiruces tnemtsevni dna tiderc dna gniknab no semulov nezod a thguob I .ria gnivig-htaerb gnuoy eht fo tuo nwod dellup eb ot htlaeh enif hcum os dna ,gniht eno rof ,daer ot hcum os saw erehT

    .remmus eht htiw niaga revo gninnigeb saw efil taht noitcivnoc railimaf taht dah I ,seivom tsaf ni worg sgniht sa tsuj ,seert eht no gniworg sevael fo stsrub taerg eht dna enihsnus eht htiw os dnA

    .doohrobhgien eht fo modeerf eht em no derrefnoc yllausac dah eH .relttes lanigiro na ,rednifhtap a ,ediug a saw I .regnol on ylenol saw I no deklaw I sa dnA .mih dlot I

    .ylsselpleh deksa eh ���?egalliv ggE tseW ot teg uoy od woH���

    .daor eht no em deppots ,I naht devirra yltnecer erom ,nam emos gninrom eno litnu os ro yad a rof ylenol saw tI

    .evots cirtcele eht revo flesreh ot modsiw hsinniF derettum dna tsafkaerb dekooc dna deb ym edam ohw ,namow hsinniF a dna egdoD dlo na dna���yawa nar eh litnu syad wef a rof mih dah I tsael ta���god a dah I .enola yrtnuoc eht ot tuo tnew I dna ,notgnihsaW ot mih deredro mrif eht etunim tsal eht ta tub ,htnom a ythgie ta wolagnub draobdrac netaeb-rehtaew a ,esuoh eht dnuof eH .aedi taerg a ekil dednuos ti ,nwot gnitummoc a ni rehtegot esuoh a ekat ew taht detseggus eciffo eht ta nam gnuoy a nehw os ,seert yldneirf dna snwal ediw fo yrtnuoc a tfel tsuj dah I dna ,nosaes mraw a saw ti tub ,ytic eht ni smoor dnif ot saw gniht lacitcarp ehT

    .owt-ytnewt fo gnirps eht ni ,thguoht I ,yltnenamrep ,tsaE emac I syaled suoirav retfa dna ,raey a rof em ecnanif ot deerga rehtaF .secaf tnatiseh ,evarg yrev htiw ���,se���ey���yhW��� ,dias yllanif dna ,em rof loohcs perp a gnisoohc erew yeht fi sa revo ti deklat selcnu dna stnua ym llA .nam elgnis erom eno troppus dluoc ti desoppus I os ,ssenisub dnob eht ni saw wenk I ydobyrevE .ssenisub dnob eht nrael dna tsaE og ot dediced I os���esrevinu eht fo egde deggar eht ekil demees won tseW elddiM eht ,dlrow eht fo ertnec mraw eht gnieb fo daetsnI .sseltser kcab emac I taht ylhguoroht os diar-retnuoc eht deyojne I .raW taerG eht sa nwonk noitargim cinotueT deyaled taht ni detapicitrap I retal elttil a dna ,rehtaf ym retfa yrutnec a fo retrauq a tsuj ,5191 ni nevaH weN morf detaudarg I eciffo s���rehtaf ni sgnah taht gnitniap deliob-drah rehtar eht ot ecnerefer laiceps htiw���mih ekil kool ot desoppus m���I tub ,elcnu-taerg siht was reven I

    .yad-ot no seirrac rehtaf ym taht ssenisub erawdrah elaselohw eht detrats dna ,raW liviC eht ot etutitsbus a tnes ,eno-ytfif ni ereh emac ohw ,rehtorb s���rehtafdnarg ym saw enil ym fo rednuof lautca eht tub ,hcuelccuB fo sekuD eht morf dednecsed er���ew taht noitidart a evah ew dna ,nalc a fo gnihtemos era syawarraC ehT .snoitareneg eerht rof ytic nretseW elddiM siht ni elpoep od-ot-llew ,tnenimorp neeb evah ylimaf yM

    .nem fo snoitale dedniw-trohs dna sworros evitroba eht ni tseretni ym tuo desolc yliraropmet taht smaerd sih fo ekaw eht ni detaolf tsud luof tahw ,ybstaG no deyerp tahw si ti ;dne eht ta thgir lla tuo denrut ybstaG���oN .niaga dnif reve llahs I ylekil ton si ti hcihw dna nosrep rehto yna ni dnuof reven evah I sa hcus ssenidaer citnamor a ,epoh rof tfig yranidroartxe na saw ti���.tnemarepmet evitaerc��� eht fo eman eht rednu deifingid si hcihw ytilibanoisserpmi ybbalf taht htiw od ot gnihton dah ssenevisnopser sihT .yawa selim dnasuoht net sekauqhtrae retsiger taht senihcam etacirtni esoht fo eno ot detaler erew eh fi sa ,efil fo sesimorp eht ot ytivitisnes denethgieh emos ,mih tuoba suoegrog gnihtemos saw ereht neht ,serutseg lufsseccus fo seires nekorbnu na si ytilanosrep fI .nrocs detceffanu na evah I hcihw rof gnihtyreve detneserper ohw ,ybstaG���noitcaer ym morf tpmexe saw ,koob siht ot eman sih sevig ohw nam eht ,ybstaG ylnO .traeh namuh eht otni sespmilg degelivirp htiw snoisrucxe suotoir erom on detnaw I ;reverof noitnetta larom fo tros a ta dna mrofinu ni eb ot dlrow eht detnaw I taht tlef I nmutua tsal tsaE eht morf kcab emac I nehW .no dednuof s���ti tahw erac t���nod I tniop niatrec a retfa tub ,sehsram tew eht ro kcor drah eht no dednuof eb yam tcudnoC .timil a sah ti taht noissimda eht ot emoc I ,ecnarelot ym fo yaw siht gnitsaob retfa ,dnA

    .htrib ta yllauqenu tuo dellecrap si seicneced latnemadnuf eht fo esnes a ,taeper ylhsibbons I dna ,detseggus ylhsibbons rehtaf ym sa ,taht tegrof I fi gnihtemos gnissim fo diarfa elttil a llits ma I .epoh etinifni fo rettam a si stnemgduj gnivreseR .snoisserppus suoivbo yb derram dna citsiraigalp yllausu era ,meht sserpxe yeht hcihw ni smret eht tsael ta ro ,nem gnuoy fo snoitalever etamitni eht rof ;noziroh eht no gnireviuq saw noitalever etamitni na taht ngis elbakatsimnu emos yb dezilaer I nehw ytivel elitsoh a ro ,noitapuccoerp ,peels dengief evah I yltneuqerf���thguosnu erew secnedifnoc eht fo tsoM .nem nwonknu ,dliw fo sfeirg terces eht ot yvirp saw I esuaceb ,naicitilop a gnieb fo desucca yltsujnu saw I egelloc ni taht tuoba emac ti os dna ,nosrep lamron a ni sraeppa ti nehw ytilauq siht ot flesti hcatta dna tceted ot kciuq si dnim lamronba ehT .serob naretev wef a ton fo mitciv eht em edam osla dna em ot serutan suoiruc ynam pu denepo sah taht tibah a ,stnemgduj lla evreser ot denilcni m���I ,ecneuqesnoc nI .taht naht erom laed taerg a tnaem eh taht dootsrednu I dna ,yaw devreser a ni evitacinummoc yllausunu neeb syawla ev���ew tub ,erom yna yas t���ndid eH

    ���.dah ev���uoy taht segatnavda eht dah t���nevah dlrow siht ni elpoep eht lla taht rebmemer tsuj��� ,em dlot eh ���,eno yna gnizicitirc ekil leef uoy revenehW���

    .ecnis reve dnim ym ni revo gninrut neeb ev���I taht ecivda emos em evag rehtaf ym sraey elbarenluv erom dna regnuoy ym nI
     
  7. #7 k.smith904, Oct 25, 2009
    tl;dr

    [​IMG]
     
  8. #8 Highbinder, Oct 25, 2009

    Care to post a summary then? I'm more than happy to admit I'm way way too lazy to read all that.
     
  9. #9 k.smith904, Oct 25, 2009
    well........

    this is the story all about how,

    des esseintes life got flip-turned upside down....
     
  10. #10 Orbit, Oct 25, 2009
    Best post on GC. Will recommend to others. +rep
     
  11. #11 Blaz3, Oct 25, 2009
    it will take alot more then a please mate
     
  12. #12 wackdeafboy, Oct 25, 2009
    Hey. This story reminds me one time when

    In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
    “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
    He didn’t say any more, but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought—frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
    And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after a certain point I don’t care what it’s founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction—Gatsby, who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby impressionability which is dignified under the name of the “creative temperament.”—it was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No—Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men.
    My family have been prominent, well-to-do people in this Middle Western city for three generations. The Carraways are something of a clan, and we have a tradition that we’re descended from the Dukes of Buccleuch, but the actual founder of my line was my grandfather’s brother, who came here in fifty-one, sent a substitute to the Civil War, and started the wholesale hardware business that my father carries on to-day.
    I never saw this great-uncle, but I’m supposed to look like him—with special reference to the rather hard-boiled painting that hangs in father’s office I graduated from New Haven in 1915, just a quarter of a century after my father, and a little later I participated in that delayed Teutonic migration known as the Great War. I enjoyed the counter-raid so thoroughly that I came back restless. Instead of being the warm centre of the world, the Middle West now seemed like the ragged edge of the universe—so I decided to go East and learn the bond business. Everybody I knew was in the bond business, so I supposed it could support one more single man. All my aunts and uncles talked it over as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said, “Why—ye—es,” with very grave, hesitant faces. Father agreed to finance me for a year, and after various delays I came East, permanently, I thought, in the spring of twenty-two.
    The practical thing was to find rooms in the city, but it was a warm season, and I had just left a country of wide lawns and friendly trees, so when a young man at the office suggested that we take a house together in a commuting town, it sounded like a great idea. He found the house, a weather-beaten cardboard bungalow at eighty a month, but at the last minute the firm ordered him to Washington, and I went out to the country alone. I had a dog—at least I had him for a few days until he ran away—and an old Dodge and a Finnish woman, who made my bed and cooked breakfast and muttered Finnish wisdom to herself over the electric stove.
    It was lonely for a day or so until one morning some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me on the road.
    “How do you get to West Egg village?” he asked helplessly.
    I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighborhood.
    And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.
    There was so much to read, for one thing, and so much fine health to be pulled down out of the young breath-giving air. I bought a dozen volumes on banking and credit and investment securities, and they stood on my shelf in red and gold like new money from the mint, promising to unfold the shining secrets that only Midas and Morgan and Maecenas knew. And I had the high intention of reading many other books besides. I was rather literary in college—one year I wrote a series of very solemn and obvious editorials for the “Yale News.”—and now I was going to bring back all such things into my life and become again that most limited of all specialists, the “well-rounded man.” This isn’t just an epigram—life is much more successfully looked at from a single window, after all.
    It was a matter of chance that I should have rented a house in one of the strangest communities in North America. It was on that slender riotous island which extends itself due east of New York—and where there are, among other natural curiosities, two unusual formations of land. Twenty miles from the city a pair of enormous eggs, identical in contour and separated only by a courtesy bay, jut out into the most domesticated body of salt water in the Western hemisphere, the great wet barnyard of Long Island Sound. they are not perfect ovals—like the egg in the Columbus story, they are both crushed flat at the contact end—but their physical resemblance must be a source of perpetual confusion to the gulls that fly overhead. to the wingless a more arresting phenomenon is their dissimilarity in every particular except shape and size.
    I lived at West Egg, the—well, the less fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them. my house was at the very tip of the egg, only fifty yards from the Sound, and squeezed between two huge places that rented for twelve or fifteen thousand a season. the one on my right was a colossal affair by any standard—it was a factual imitation of some Hotel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool, and more than forty acres of lawn and garden. it was Gatsby’s mansion. Or, rather, as I didn’t know Mr. Gatsby, it was a mansion inhabited by a gentleman of that name. My own house was an eyesore, but it was a small eyesore, and it had been overlooked, so I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbor’s lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires—all for eighty dollars a month.
    Across the courtesy bay the white palaces of fashionable East Egg glittered along the water, and the history of the summer really begins on the evening I drove over there to have dinner with the Tom Buchanans. Daisy was my second cousin once removed, and I’d known Tom in college. And just after the war I spent two days with them in Chicago.
    Her husband, among various physical accomplishments, had been one of the most powerful ends that ever played football at New Haven—a national figure in a way, one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savors of anti-climax. His family were enormously wealthy—even in college his freedom with money was a matter for reproach—but now he’d left Chicago and come East in a fashion that rather took your breath away: for instance, he’d brought down a string of polo ponies from Lake Forest. it was hard to realize that a man in my own generation was wealthy enough to do that.
    Why they came East I don’t know. They had spent a year in France for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. This was a permanent move, said Daisy over the telephone, but I didn’t believe it—I had no sight into Daisy’s heart, but I felt that Tom would drift on forever seeking, a little wistfully, for the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable football game.
    And so it happened that on a warm windy evening I drove over to East Egg to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all. Their house was even more elaborate than I expected, a cheerful red-and-white Georgian Colonial mansion, overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens—finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold and wide open to the warm windy afternoon, and Tom Buchanan in riding clothes was standing with his legs apart on the front porch.
    He had changed since his New Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw-haired man of thirty with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body—he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage—a cruel body.
    His speaking voice, a gruff husky tenor, added to the impression of fractiousness he conveyed. There was a touch of paternal contempt in it, even toward people he liked—and there were men at New Haven who had hated his guts.
    “Now, don’t think my opinion on these matters is final,” he seemed to say, “just because I’m stronger and more of a man than you are.” We were in the same senior society, and while we were never intimate I always had the impression that he approved of me and wanted me to like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
    We talked for a few minutes on the sunny porch.
    “I’ve got a nice place here,” he said, his eyes flashing about restlessly.
    Turning me around by one arm, he moved a broad flat hand along the front vista, including in its sweep a sunken Italian garden, a half acre of deep, pungent roses, and a snub-nosed motor-boat that bumped the tide offshore.
    “It belonged to Demaine, the oil man.” He turned me around again, politely and abruptly. “We’ll go inside.”
    We walked through a high hallway into a bright rosy-colored space, fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end. The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags, twisting them up toward the frosted wedding-cake of the ceiling, and then rippled over the wine-colored rug, making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
    The only completely stationary object in the room was an enormous couch on which two young women were buoyed up as though upon an anchored balloon. They were both in white, and their dresses were rippling and fluttering as if they had just been blown back in after a short flight around the house. I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall. Then there was a boom as Tom Buchanan shut the rear windows and the caught wind died out about the room, and the curtains and the rugs and the two young women ballooned slowly to the floor.
    The younger of the two was a stranger to me. She was extended full length at her end of the divan, completely motionless, and with her chin raised a little, as if she were balancing something on it which was quite likely to fall. If she saw me out of the corner of her eyes she gave no hint of it—indeed, I was almost surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by coming in.
    The other girl, Daisy, made an attempt to rise—she leaned slightly forward with a conscientious expression—then she laughed, an absurd, charming little laugh, and I laughed too and came forward into the room.
    “I’m p-paralyzed with happiness.” She laughed again, as if she said something very witty, and held my hand for a moment, looking up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had. She hinted in a murmur that the surname of the balancing girl was Baker. (I’ve heard it said that Daisy’s murmur was only to make people lean toward her; an irrelevant criticism that made it no less charming.)
    At any rate, Miss Baker’s lips fluttered, she nodded at me almost imperceptibly, and then quickly tipped her head back again—the object she was balancing had obviously tottered a little and given her something of a fright. Again a sort of apology arose to my lips. Almost any exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from me.
    I looked back at my cousin, who began to ask me questions in her low, thrilling voice. It was the kind of voice that the ear follows up and down, as if each speech is an arrangement of notes that will never be played again. Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice that men who had cared for her found difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered “Listen,” a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.
    I told her how I had stopped off in Chicago for a day on my way East, and how a dozen people had sent their love through me.
    “Do they miss me?” she cried ecstatically.
    “The whole town is desolate. All the cars have the left rear wheel painted black as a mourning wreath, and there’s a persistent wail all night along the north shore.”
    “How gorgeous! Let’s go back, Tom. To-morrow!” Then she added irrelevantly: “You ought to see the baby.”
    “I’d like to.”
    “She’s asleep. She’s three years old. Haven’t you ever seen her?”
    “Never.”
    “Well, you ought to see her. She’s——”
    Tom Buchanan, who had been hovering restlessly about the room, stopped and rested his hand on my shoulder.
    “What you doing, Nick?”
    “I’m a bond man.”
    “Who with?”
    I told him.
    “Never heard of them,” he remarked decisively.
    This annoyed me.
    “You will,” I answered shortly. “You will if you stay in the East.”
    “Oh, I’ll stay in the East, don’t you worry,” he said, glancing at Daisy and then back at me, as if he were alert for something more. “I’d be a God damned fool to live anywhere else.”
    At this point Miss Baker said: “Absolutely!” with such suddenness that I started—it was the first word she uttered since I came into the room. Evidently it surprised her as much as it did me, for she yawned and with a series of rapid, deft movements stood up into the room.
    “I’m stiff,” she complained, “I’ve been lying on that sofa for as long as I can remember.”
    “Don’t look at me,” Daisy retorted, “I’ve been trying to get you to New York all afternoon.”
    “No, thanks,” said Miss Baker to the four cocktails just in from the pantry, “I’m absolutely in training.”
    Her host looked at her incredulously.
    “You are!” He took down his drink as if it were a drop in the bottom of a glass. “How you ever get anything done is beyond me.”
    I looked at Miss Baker, wondering what it was she “got done.” I enjoyed looking at her. She was a slender, small-breasted girl, with an erect carriage, which she accentuated by throwing her body backward at the shoulders like a young cadet. Her gray sun-strained eyes looked back at me with polite reciprocal curiosity out of a wan, charming, discontented face. It occurred to me now that I had seen her, or a picture of her, somewhere before.
    “You live in West Egg,” she remarked contemptuously. “I know somebody there.”
    “I don’t know a single——”
    “You must know Gatsby.”
    “Gatsby?” demanded Daisy. “What Gatsby?”
    Before I could reply that he was my neighbor dinner was announced; wedging his tense arm imperatively under mine, Tom Buchanan compelled me from the room as though he were moving a checker to another square.
    Slenderly, languidly, their hands set lightly on their hips, the two young women preceded us out onto a rosy-colored porch, open toward the sunset, where four candles flickered on the table in the diminished wind.
    “Why CANDLES?” objected Daisy, frowning. She snapped them out with her fingers. “In two weeks it’ll be the longest day in the year.” She looked at us all radiantly. “Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it.”
    “We ought to plan something,” yawned Miss Baker, sitting down at the table as if she were getting into bed.
    “All right,” said Daisy. “What’ll we plan?” She turned to me helplessly: “What do people plan?”
    Before I could answer her eyes fastened with an awed expression on her little finger.
    “Look!” she complained; “I hurt it.”
    We all looked—the knuckle was black and blue.
    “You did it, Tom,” she said accusingly. “I know you didn’t mean to, but you DID do it. That’s what I get for marrying a brute of a man, a great, big, hulking physical specimen of a——”
    “I hate that word hulking,” objected Tom crossly, “even in kidding.”
    “Hulking,” insisted Daisy.
    Sometimes she and Miss Baker talked at once, unobtrusively and with a bantering inconsequence that was never quite chatter, that was as cool as their white dresses and their impersonal eyes in the absence of all desire. They were here, and they accepted Tom and me, making only a polite pleasant effort to entertain or to be entertained. They knew that presently dinner would be over and a little later the evening too would be over and casually put away. It was sharply different from the West, where an evening was hurried from phase to phase toward its close, in a continually disappointed anticipation or else in sheer nervous dread of the moment itself.
    “You make me feel uncivilized, Daisy,” I confessed on my second glass of corky but rather impressive claret. “Can’t you talk about crops or something?”
    I meant nothing in particular by this remark, but it was taken up in an unexpected way.
    “Civilization’s going to pieces,” broke out Tom violently. “I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read ‘The Rise of the Colored Empires’ by this man Goddard?”
    “Why, no,” I answered, rather surprised by his tone.
    “Well, it’s a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don’t look out the white race will be—will be utterly submerged. It’s all scientific stuff; it’s been proved.”
    “Tom’s getting very profound,” said Daisy, with an expression of unthoughtful sadness. “He reads deep books with long words in them. What was that word we——”
    “Well, these books are all scientific,” insisted Tom, glancing at her impatiently. “This fellow has worked out the whole thing. It’s up to us, who are the dominant race, to watch out or these other races will have control of things.”
    “We’ve got to beat them down,” whispered Daisy, winking ferociously toward the fervent sun.
    “You ought to live in California—” began Miss Baker, but Tom interrupted her by shifting heavily in his chair.
    “This idea is that we’re Nordics. I am, and you are, and you are, and——” After an infinitesimal hesitation he included Daisy with a slight nod, and she winked at me again. “—And we’ve produced all the things that go to make civilization—oh, science and art, and all that. Do you see?”
    There was something pathetic in his concentration, as if his complacency, more acute than of old, was not enough to him any more. When, almost immediately, the telephone rang inside and the butler left the porch Daisy seized upon the momentary interruption and leaned toward me.
    “I’ll tell you a family secret,” she whispered enthusiastically. “It’s about the butler’s nose. Do you want to hear about the butler’s nose?”
    “That’s why I came over to-night.”
    “Well, he wasn’t always a butler; he used to be the silver polisher for some people in New York that had a silver service for two hundred people. He had to polish it from morning till night, until finally it began to affect his nose——”
    “Things went from bad to worse,” suggested Miss Baker.
    “Yes. Things went from bad to worse, until finally he had to give up his position.”
    For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened—then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk.
    The butler came back and murmured something close to Tom’s ear, whereupon Tom frowned, pushed back his chair, and without a word went inside. As if his absence quickened something within her, Daisy leaned forward again, her voice glowing and singing.
    “I love to see you at my table, Nick. You remind me of a—of a rose, an absolute rose. Doesn’t he?” She turned to Miss Baker for confirmation: “An absolute rose?”
    This was untrue. I am not even faintly like a rose. She was only extemporizing, but a stirring warmth flowed from her, as if her heart was trying to come out to you concealed in one of those breathless, thrilling words. Then suddenly she threw her napkin on the table and excused herself and went into the house.
    Miss Baker and I exchanged a short glance consciously devoid of meaning. I was about to speak when she sat up alertly and said “Sh!” in a warning voice. A subdued impassioned murmur was audible in the room beyond, and Miss Baker leaned forward unashamed, trying to hear. The murmur trembled on the verge of coherence, sank down, mounted excitedly, and then ceased altogether.
    “This Mr. Gatsby you spoke of is my neighbor——” I said.
    “Don’t talk. I want to hear what happens.”
    “Is something happening?” I inquired innocently.
    “You mean to say you don’t know?” said Miss Baker, honestly surprised. “I thought everybody knew.”
    “I don’t.”
    “Why——” she said hesitantly, “Tom’s got some woman in New York.”
    “Got some woman?” I repeated blankly.
    Miss Baker nodded.
    “She might have the decency not to telephone him at dinner time. Don’t you think?”
    Almost before I had grasped her meaning there was the flutter of a dress and the crunch of leather boots, and Tom and Daisy were back at the table.
    “It couldn’t be helped!” cried Daisy with tense gaiety.
    She sat down, glanced searchingly at Miss Baker and then at me, and continued: “I looked outdoors for a minute, and it’s very romantic outdoors. There’s a bird on the lawn that I think must be a nightingale come over on the Cunard or White Star Line. He’s singing away——” Her voice sang: “It’s romantic, isn’t it, Tom?”
    “Very romantic,” he said, and then miserably to me: “If it’s light enough after dinner, I want to take you down to the stables.”
    The telephone rang inside, startlingly, and as Daisy shook her head decisively at Tom the subject of the stables, in fact all subjects, vanished into air. Among the broken fragments of the last five minutes at table I remember the candles being lit again, pointlessly, and I was conscious of wanting to look squarely at every one, and yet to avoid all eyes. I couldn’t guess what Daisy and Tom were thinking, but I doubt if even Miss Baker, who seemed to have mastered a certain hardy scepticism, was able utterly to put this fifth guest’s shrill metallic urgency out of mind. To a certain temperament the situation might have seemed intriguing—my own instinct was to telephone immediately for the police.
    The horses, needless to say, were not mentioned again. Tom and Miss Baker, with several feet of twilight between them, strolled back into the library, as if to a vigil beside a perfectly tangible body, while, trying to look pleasantly interested and a little deaf, I followed Daisy around a chain of connecting verandas to the porch in front. In its deep gloom we sat down side by side on a wicker settee.
    Daisy took her face in her hands as if feeling its lovely shape, and her eyes moved gradually out into the velvet dusk. I saw that turbulent emotions possessed her, so I asked what I thought would be some sedative questions about her little girl.
    “We don’t know each other very well, Nick,” she said suddenly. “Even if we are cousins. You didn’t come to my wedding.”
    “I wasn’t back from the war.”
    “That’s true.” She hesitated. “Well, I’ve had a very bad time, Nick, and I’m pretty cynical about everything.”
    Evidently she had reason to be. I waited but she didn’t say any more, and after a moment I returned rather feebly to the subject of her daughter.
    “I suppose she talks, and—eats, and everything.”
    “Oh, yes.” She looked at me absently. “Listen, Nick; let me tell you what I said when she was born. Would you like to hear?”
    “Very much.”
    “It’ll show you how I’ve gotten to feel about—things. Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. ‘all right,’ I said, ‘I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”
    “You see I think everything’s terrible anyhow,” she went on in a convinced way. “Everybody thinks so—the most advanced people. And I KNOW. I’ve been everywhere and seen everything and done everything.” Her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way, rather like Tom’s, and she laughed with thrilling scorn. “Sophisticated—God, I’m sophisticated!”
    The instant her voice broke off, ceasing to compel my attention, my belief, I felt the basic insincerity of what she had said. It made me uneasy, as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me. I waited, and sure enough, in a moment she looked at me with an absolute smirk on her lovely face, as if she had asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged.
    Inside, the crimson room bloomed with light.
    Tom and Miss Baker sat at either end of the long couch and she read aloud to him from the SATURDAY EVENING POST.—the words, murmurous and uninflected, running together in a soothing tune. The lamp-light, bright on his boots and dull on the autumn-leaf yellow of her hair, glinted along the paper as she turned a page with a flutter of slender muscles in her arms.
    When we came in she held us silent for a moment with a lifted hand.
    “To be continued,” she said, tossing the magazine on the table, “in our very next issue.”
    Her body asserted itself with a restless movement of her knee, and she stood up.
    “Ten o’clock,” she remarked, apparently finding the time on the ceiling. “Time for this good girl to go to bed.”
    “Jordan’s going to play in the tournament to-morrow,” explained Daisy, “over at Westchester.”
    “Oh—you’re Jordan BAKER.”
    I knew now why her face was familiar—its pleasing contemptuous expression had looked out at me from many rotogravure pictures of the sporting life at Asheville and Hot Springs and Palm Beach. I had heard some story of her too, a critical, unpleasant story, but what it was I had forgotten long ago.
    “Good night,” she said softly. “Wake me at eight, won’t you.”
    “If you’ll get up.”
    “I will. Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon.”
    “Of course you will,” confirmed Daisy. “In fact I think I’ll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I’ll sort of—oh—fling you together. You know—lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing——”
    “Good night,” called Miss Baker from the stairs. “I haven’t heard a word.”
    “She’s a nice girl,” said Tom after a moment. “They oughtn’t to let her run around the country this way.”
    “Who oughtn’t to?” inquired Daisy coldly.
    “Her family.”
    “Her family is one aunt about a thousand years old. Besides, Nick’s going to look after her, aren’t you, Nick? She’s going to spend lots of week-ends out here this summer. I think the home influence will be very good for her.”
    Daisy and Tom looked at each other for a moment in silence.
    “Is she from New York?” I asked quickly.
    “From Louisville. Our white girlhood was passed together there. Our beautiful white——”
    “Did you give Nick a little heart to heart talk on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
    “Did I?” She looked at me.
    “I can’t seem to remember, but I think we talked about the Nordic race. Yes, I’m sure we did. It sort of crept up on us and first thing you know——”
    “Don’t believe everything you hear, Nick,” he advised me.
    I said lightly that I had heard nothing at all, and a few minutes later I got up to go home. They came to the door with me and stood side by side in a cheerful square of light. As I started my motor Daisy peremptorily called: “Wait!”
    “I forgot to ask you something, and it’s important. We heard you were engaged to a girl out West.”
    “That’s right,” corroborated Tom kindly. “We heard that you were engaged.”
    “It’s libel. I’m too poor.”
    “But we heard it,” insisted Daisy, surprising me by opening up again in a flower-like way. “We heard it from three people, so it must be true.”
    Of course I knew what they were referring to, but I wasn’t even vaguely engaged. The fact that gossip had published the banns was one of the reasons I had come East. You can’t stop going with an old friend on account of rumors, and on the other hand I had no intention of being rumored into marriage.
    Their interest rather touched me and made them less remotely rich—nevertheless, I was confused and a little disgusted as I drove away. It seemed to me that the thing for Daisy to do was to rush out of the house, child in arms—but apparently there were no such intentions in her head. As for Tom, the fact that he “had some woman in New York.” was really less surprising than that he had been depressed by a book. Something was making him nibble at the edge of stale ideas as if his sturdy physical egotism no longer nourished his peremptory heart.
    Already it was deep summer on roadhouse roofs and in front of wayside garages, where new red gas-pumps sat out in pools of light, and when I reached my estate at West Egg I ran the car under its shed and sat for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the yard. The wind had blown off, leaving a loud, bright night, with wings beating in the trees and a persistent organ sound as the full bellows of the earth blew the frogs full of life. The silhouette of a moving cat wavered across the moonlight, and turning my head to watch it, I saw that I was not alone—fifty feet away a figure had emerged from the shadow of my neighbor’s mansion and was standing with his hands in his pockets regarding the silver pepper of the stars. Something in his leisurely movements and the secure position of his feet upon the lawn suggested that it was Mr. Gatsby himself, come out to determine what share was his of our local heavens.
    I decided to call to him. Miss Baker had mentioned him at dinner, and that would do for an introduction. But I didn’t call to him, for he gave a sudden intimation that he was content to be alone—he stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and, far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward—and distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away, that might have been the end of a dock. When I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was alone again in the unquiet darkness.
    "Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don't tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist--I really believe he is Antichrist--I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my 'faithful slave,' as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you--sit down and tell me all the news."
    It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasili Kuragin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.
    All her invitations without exception, written in French, and delivered by a scarlet-liveried footman that morning, ran as follows:
    "If you have nothing better to do, Count [or Prince], and if the prospect of spending an evening with a poor invalid is not too terrible, I shall be very charmed to see you tonight between 7 and 10- Annette Scherer."
    "Heavens! what a virulent attack!" replied the prince, not in the least disconcerted by this reception. He had just entered, wearing an embroidered court uniform, knee breeches, and shoes, and had stars on his breast and a serene expression on his flat face. He spoke in that refined French in which our grandfathers not only spoke but thought, and with the gentle, patronizing intonation natural to a man of importance who had grown old in society and at court. He went up to Anna Pavlovna, kissed her hand, presenting to her his bald, scented, and shining head, and complacently seated himself on the sofa.
    "First of all, dear friend, tell me how you are. Set your friend's mind at rest," said he without altering his tone, beneath the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference and even irony could be discerned.
    "Can one be well while suffering morally? Can one be calm in times like these if one has any feeling?" said Anna Pavlovna. "You are staying the whole evening, I hope?"
    "And the fete at the English ambassador's? Today is Wednesday. I must put in an appearance there," said the prince. "My daughter is coming for me to take me there."
    "I thought today's fete had been canceled. I confess all these festivities and fireworks are becoming wearisome."
    "If they had known that you wished it, the entertainment would have been put off," said the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, by force of habit said things he did not even wish to be believed.
    "Don't tease! Well, and what has been decided about Novosiltsev's dispatch? You know everything."
    "What can one say about it?" replied the prince in a cold, listless tone. "What has been decided? They have decided that Buonaparte has burnt his boats, and I believe that we are ready to burn ours."
    Prince Vasili always spoke languidly, like an actor repeating a stale part. Anna Pavlovna Scherer on the contrary, despite her forty years, overflowed with animation and impulsiveness. To be an enthusiast had become her social vocation and, sometimes even when she did not feel like it, she became enthusiastic in order not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her. The subdued smile which, though it did not suit her faded features, always played round her lips expressed, as in a spoiled child, a continual consciousness of her charming defect, which she neither wished, nor could, nor considered it necessary, to correct.
    In the midst of a conversation on political matters Anna Pavlovna burst out:
    "Oh, don't speak to me of Austria. Perhaps I don't understand things, but Austria never has wished, and does not wish, for war. She is betraying us! Russia alone must save Europe. Our gracious sovereign recognizes his high vocation and will be true to it. That is the one thing I have faith in! Our good and wonderful sovereign has to perform the noblest role on earth, and he is so virtuous and noble that God will not forsake him. He will fulfill his vocation and crush the hydra of revolution, which has become more terrible than ever in the person of this murderer and villain! We alone must avenge the blood of the just one.... Whom, I ask you, can we rely on?... England with her commercial spirit will not and cannot understand the Emperor Alexander's loftiness of soul. She has refused to evacuate Malta. She wanted to find, and still seeks, some secret motive in our actions. What answer did Novosiltsev get? None. The English have not understood and cannot understand the self-abnegation of our Emperor who wants nothing for himself, but only desires the good of mankind. And what have they promised? Nothing! And what little they have promised they will not perform! Prussia has always declared that Buonaparte is invincible, and that all Europe is powerless before him.... And I don't believe a word that Hardenburg says, or Haugwitz either. This famous Prussian neutrality is just a trap. I have faith only in God and the lofty destiny of our adored monarch. He will save Europe!"
    She suddenly paused, smiling at her own impetuosity.
    "I think," said the prince with a smile, "that if you had been sent instead of our dear Wintzingerode you would have captured the King of Prussia's consent by assault. You are so eloquent. Will you give me a cup of tea?"
    "In a moment. A propos," she added, becoming calm again, "I am expecting two very interesting men tonight, le Vicomte de Mortemart, who is connected with the Montmorencys through the Rohans, one of the best French families. He is one of the genuine emigres, the good ones. And also the Abbe Morio. Do you know that profound thinker? He has been received by the Emperor. Had you heard?"
    "I shall be delighted to meet them," said the prince. "But tell me," he added with studied carelessness as if it had only just occurred to him, though the question he was about to ask was the chief motive of his visit, "is it true that the Dowager Empress wants Baron Funke to be appointed first secretary at Vienna? The baron by all accounts is a poor creature."
    Prince Vasili wished to obtain this post for his son, but others were trying through the Dowager Empress Marya Fedorovna to secure it for the baron.
    Anna Pavlovna almost closed her eyes to indicate that neither she nor anyone else had a right to criticize what the Empress desired or was pleased with.
    "Baron Funke has been recommended to the Dowager Empress by her sister," was all she said, in a dry and mournful tone.
    As she named the Empress, Anna Pavlovna's face suddenly assumed an expression of profound and sincere devotion and respect mingled with sadness, and this occurred every time she mentioned her illustrious patroness. She added that Her Majesty had deigned to show Baron Funke beaucoup d'estime, and again her face clouded over with sadness.
    The prince was silent and looked indifferent. But, with the womanly and courtierlike quickness and tact habitual to her, Anna Pavlovna wished both to rebuke him (for daring to speak he had done of a man recommended to the Empress) and at the same time to console him, so she said:
    "Now about your family. Do you know that since your daughter came out everyone has been enraptured by her? They say she is amazingly beautiful."
    The prince bowed to signify his respect and gratitude.
    "I often think," she continued after a short pause, drawing nearer to the prince and smiling amiably at him as if to show that political and social topics were ended and the time had come for intimate conversation--"I often think how unfairly sometimes the joys of life are distributed. Why has fate given you two such splendid children? I don't speak of Anatole, your youngest. I don't like him," she added in a tone admitting of no rejoinder and raising her eyebrows. "Two such charming children. And really you appreciate them less than anyone, and so you don't deserve to have them."
    And she smiled her ecstatic smile.
    "I can't help it," said the prince. "Lavater would have said I lack the bump of paternity."
    "Don't joke; I mean to have a serious talk with you. Do you know I am dissatisfied with your younger son? Between ourselves" (and her face assumed its melancholy expression), "he was mentioned at Her Majesty's and you were pitied...."
    The prince answered nothing, but she looked at him significantly, awaiting a reply. He frowned.
    "What would you have me do?" he said at last. "You know I did all a father could for their education, and they have both turned out fools. Hippolyte is at least a quiet fool, but Anatole is an active one. That is the only difference between them." He said this smiling in a way more natural and animated than usual, so that the wrinkles round his mouth very clearly revealed something unexpectedly coarse and unpleasant.
    "And why are children born to such men as you? If you were not a father there would be nothing I could reproach you with," said Anna Pavlovna, looking up pensively.
    "I am your faithful slave and to you alone I can confess that my children are the bane of my life. It is the cross I have to bear. That is how I explain it to myself. It can't be helped!"
    He said no more, but expressed his resignation to cruel fate by a gesture. Anna Pavlovna meditated.
    "Have you never thought of marrying your prodigal son Anatole?" she asked. "They say old maids have a mania for matchmaking, and though I don't feel that weakness in myself as yet, I know a little person who is very unhappy with her father. She is a relation of yours, Princess Mary Bolkonskaya."
    Prince Vasili did not reply, though, with the quickness of memory and perception befitting a man of the world, he indicated by a movement of the head that he was considering this information.
    "Do you know," he said at last, evidently unable to check the sad current of his thoughts, "that Anatole is costing me forty thousand rubles a year? And," he went on after a pause, "what will it be in five years, if he goes on like this?" Presently he added: "That's what we fathers have to put up with.... Is this princess of yours rich?"
    "Her father is very rich and stingy. He lives in the country. He is the well-known Prince Bolkonski who had to retire from the army under the late Emperor, and was nicknamed 'the King of Prussia.' He is very clever but eccentric, and a bore. The poor girl is very unhappy. She has a brother; I think you know him, he married Lise Meinen lately. He is an aide-de-camp of Kutuzov's and will be here tonight."
    "Listen, dear Annette," said the prince, suddenly taking Anna Pavlovna's hand and for some reason drawing it downwards. "Arrange that affair for me and I shall always be your most devoted slave- slafe with an f, as a village elder of mine writes in his reports. She is rich and of good family and that's all I want."
    And with the familiarity and easy grace peculiar to him, he raised the maid of honor's hand to his lips, kissed it, and swung it to and fro as he lay back in his armchair, looking in another direction.
    "Attendez," said Anna Pavlovna, reflecting, "I'll speak to Lise, young Bolkonski's wife, this very evening, and perhaps the thing can be arranged. It shall be on your family's behalf that I'll start my apprenticeship as old maid."
    Anna Pavlovna's drawing room was gradually filling. The highest Petersburg society was assembled there: people differing widely in age and character but alike in the social circle to which they belonged. Prince Vasili's daughter, the beautiful Helene, came to take her father to the ambassador's entertainment; she wore a ball dress and her badge as maid of honor. The youthful little Princess Bolkonskaya, known as la femme la plus seduisante de Petersbourg, was also there. She had been married during the previous winter, and being pregnant did not go to any large gatherings, but only to small receptions. Prince Vasili's son, Hippolyte, had come with Mortemart, whom he introduced. The Abbe Morio and many others had also come.
    To each new arrival Anna Pavlovna said, "You have not yet seen my aunt," or "You do not know my aunt?" and very gravely conducted him or her to a little old lady, wearing large bows of ribbon in her cap, who had come sailing in from another room as soon as the guests began to arrive; and slowly turning her eyes from the visitor to her aunt, Anna Pavlovna mentioned each one's name and then left them.
    Each visitor performed the ceremony of greeting this old aunt whom not one of them knew, not one of them wanted to know, and not one of them cared about; Anna Pavlovna observed these greetings with mournful and solemn interest and silent approval. The aunt spoke to each of them in the same words, about their health and her own, and the health of Her Majesty, "who, thank God, was better today." And each visitor, though politeness prevented his showing impatience, left the old woman with a sense of relief at having performed a vexatious duty and did not return to her the whole evening.
    The young Princess Bolkonskaya had brought some work in a gold-embroidered velvet bag. Her pretty little upper lip, on which a delicate dark down was just perceptible, was too short for her teeth, but it lifted all the more sweetly, and was especially charming when she occasionally drew it down to meet the lower lip. As is always the case with a thoroughly attractive woman, her defect--the shortness of her upper lip and her half-open mouth--seemed to be her own special and peculiar form of beauty. Everyone brightened at the sight of this pretty young woman, so soon to become a mother, so full of life and health, and carrying her burden so lightly. Old men and dull dispirited young ones who looked at her, after being in her company and talking to her a little while, felt as if they too were becoming, like her, full of life and health. All who talked to her, and at each word saw her bright smile and the constant gleam of her white teeth, thought that they were in a specially amiable mood that day.
    Meanwhile, Bob was walking down the streets of busytown, thinking about the smell of his soapy fingers after washing his ass in the shower.
    The little princess went round the table with quick, short, swaying steps, her workbag on her arm, and gaily spreading out her dress sat down on a sofa near the silver samovar, as if all she was doing was a pleasure to herself and to all around her. "I have brought my work," said she in French, displaying her bag and addressing all present. "Mind, Annette, I hope you have not played a wicked trick on me," she added, turning to her hostess. "You wrote that it was to be quite a small reception, and just see how badly I am dressed." And she spread out her arms to show her short-waisted, lace-trimmed, dainty gray dress, girdled with a broad ribbon just below the breast.
    "Soyez tranquille, Lise, you will always be prettier than anyone else," replied Anna Pavlovna.
    "You know," said the princess in the same tone of voice and still in French, turning to a general, "my husband is deserting me? He is going to get himself killed. Tell me what this wretched war is for?" she added, addressing Prince Vasili, and without waiting for an answer she turned to speak to his daughter, the beautiful Helene.
    "What a delightful woman this little princess is!" said Prince Vasili to Anna Pavlovna.
    One of the next arrivals was a stout, heavily built young man with close-cropped hair, spectacles, the light-colored breeches fashionable at that time, a very high ruffle, and a brown dress coat. This stout young man was an illegitimate son of Count Bezukhov, a well-known grandee of Catherine's time who now lay dying in Moscow. The young man had not yet entered either the military or civil service, as he had only just returned from abroad where he had been educated, and this was his first appearance in society. Anna Pavlovna greeted him with the nod she accorded to the lowest hierarchy in her drawing room. But in spite of this lowest-grade greeting, a look of anxiety and fear, as at the sight of something too large and unsuited to the place, came over her face when she saw Pierre enter. Though he was certainly rather bigger than the other men in the room, her anxiety could only have reference to the clever though shy, but observant and natural, expression which distinguished him from everyone else in that drawing room.
    "It is very good of you, Monsieur Pierre, to come and visit a poor invalid," said Anna Pavlovna, exchanging an alarmed glance with her aunt as she conducted him to her.
    Pierre murmured something unintelligible, and continued to look round as if in search of something. On his way to the aunt he bowed to the little princess with a pleased smile, as to an intimate acquaintance.
    Anna Pavlovna's alarm was justified, for Pierre turned away from the aunt without waiting to hear her speech about Her Majesty's health. Anna Pavlovna in dismay detained him with the words: "Do you know the Abbe Morio? He is a most interesting man."
    "Yes, I have heard of his scheme for perpetual peace, and it is very interesting but hardly feasible."
    "You think so?" rejoined Anna Pavlovna in order to say something and get away to attend to her duties as hostess. But Pierre now committed a reverse act of impoliteness. First he had left a lady before she had finished speaking to him, and now he continued to speak to another who wished to get away. With his head bent, and his big feet spread apart, he began explaining his reasons for thinking the abbe's plan chimerical.
    "We will talk of it later," said Anna Pavlovna with a smile.
    And having got rid of this young man who did not know how to behave, she resumed her duties as hostess and continued to listen and watch, ready to help at any point where the conversation might happen to flag. As the foreman of a spinning mill, when he has set the hands to work, goes round and notices here a spindle that has stopped or there one that creaks or makes more noise than it should, and hastens to check the machine or set it in proper motion, so Anna Pavlovna moved about her drawing room, approaching now a silent, now a too-noisy group, and by a word or slight rearrangement kept the conversational machine in steady, proper, and regular motion. But amid these cares her anxiety about Pierre was evident. She kept an anxious watch on him when he approached the group round Mortemart to listen to what was being said there, and again when he passed to another group whose center was the abbe.
    Pierre had been educated abroad, and this reception at Anna Pavlovna's was the first he had attended in Russia. He knew that all the intellectual lights of Petersburg were gathered there and, like a child in a toyshop, did not know which way to look, afraid of missing any clever conversation that was to be heard. Seeing the self-confident and refined expression on the faces of those present he was always expecting to hear something very profound. At last he came up to Morio. Here the conversation seemed interesting and he stood waiting for an opportunity to express his own views, as young people are fond of doing.
    Anna Pavlovna's reception was in full swing. The spindles hummed steadily and ceaselessly on all sides. With the exception of the aunt, beside whom sat only one elderly lady, who with her thin careworn face was rather out of place in this brilliant society, the whole company had settled into three groups. One, chiefly masculine, had formed round the abbe. Another, of young people, was grouped round the beautiful Princess Helene, Prince Vasili's daughter, and the little Princess Bolkonskaya, very pretty and rosy, though rather too plump for her age. The third group was gathered round Mortemart and Anna Pavlovna.
    The vicomte was a nice-looking young man with soft features and polished manners, who evidently considered himself a celebrity but out of politeness modestly placed himself at the disposal of the circle in which he found himself. Anna Pavlovna was obviously serving him up as a treat to her guests. As a clever maitre d'hotel serves up as a specially choice delicacy a piece of meat that no one who had seen it in the kitchen would have cared to eat, so Anna Pavlovna served up to her guests, first the vicomte and then the abbe, as peculiarly choice morsels. The group about Mortemart immediately began discussing the murder of the Duc d'Enghien. The vicomte said that the Duc d'Enghien had perished by his own magnanimity, and that there were particular reasons for Buonaparte's hatred of him.
    "Ah, yes! Do tell us all about it, Vicomte," said Anna Pavlovna, with a pleasant feeling that there was something a la Louis XV in the sound of that sentence: "Contez nous cela, Vicomte."
    The vicomte bowed and smiled courteously in token of his willingness to comply. Anna Pavlovna arranged a group round him, inviting everyone to listen to his tale.
    "The vicomte knew the duc personally," whispered Anna Pavlovna to of the guests. "The vicomte is a wonderful raconteur," said she to another. "How evidently he belongs to the best society," said she to a third; and the vicomte was served up to the company in the choicest and most advantageous style, like a well-garnished joint of roast beef on a hot dish.
    The vicomte wished to begin his story and gave a subtle smile.
    "Come over here, Helene, dear," said Anna Pavlovna to the beautiful young princess who was sitting some way off, the center of another group.
    The princess smiled. She rose with the same unchanging smile with which she had first entered the room--the smile of a perfectly beautiful woman. With a slight rustle of her white dress trimmed with moss and ivy, with a gleam of white shoulders, glossy hair, and sparkling diamonds, she passed between the men who made way for her, not looking at any of them but smiling on all, as if graciously allowing each the privilege of admiring her beautiful figure and shapely shoulders, back, and bosom--which in the fashion of those days were very much exposed--and she seemed to bring the glamour of a ballroom with her as she moved toward Anna Pavlovna. Helene was so lovely that not only did she not show any trace of coquetry, but on the contrary she even appeared shy of her unquestionable and all too victorious beauty. She seemed to wish, but to be unable, to diminish its effect.
    "How lovely!" said everyone who saw her; and the vicomte lifted his shoulders and dropped his eyes as if startled by something extraordinary when she took her seat opposite and beamed upon him also with her unchanging smile.
    "Madame, I doubt my ability before such an audience," said he, smilingly inclining his head.
    The princess rested her bare round arm on a little table and considered a reply unnecessary. She smilingly waited. All the time the story was being told she sat upright, glancing now at her beautiful round arm, altered in shape by its pressure on the table, now at her still more beautiful bosom, on which she readjusted a diamond necklace. From time to time she smoothed the folds of her dress, and whenever the story produced an effect she glanced at Anna Pavlovna, at once adopted just the expression she saw on the maid of honor's face, and again relapsed into her radiant smile.
    The little princess had also left the tea table and followed Helene.
    "Wait a moment, I'll get my work.... Now then, what are you thinking of?" she went on, turning to Prince Hippolyte. "Fetch me my workbag."
    There was a general movement as the princess, smiling and talking merrily to everyone at once, sat down and gaily arranged herself in her seat.
    "Now I am all right," she said, and asking the vicomte to begin, she took up her work.
    Prince Hippolyte, having brought the workbag, joined the circle and moving a chair close to hers seated himself beside her.
    Le charmant Hippolyte was surprising by his extraordinary resemblance to his beautiful sister, but yet more by the fact that in spite of this resemblance he was exceedingly ugly. His features were like his sister's, but while in her case everything was lit up by a joyous, self-satisfied, youthful, and constant smile of animation, and by the wonderful classic beauty of her figure, his face on the contrary was dulled by imbecility and a constant expression of sullen self-confidence, while his body was thin and weak. His eyes, nose, and mouth all seemed puckered into a vacant, wearied grimace, and his arms and legs always fell into unnatural positions.
    "It's not going to be a ghost story?" said he, sitting down beside the princess and hastily adjusting his lorgnette, as if without this instrument he could not begin to speak.
    "Why no, my dear fellow," said the astonished narrator, shrugging his shoulders.
    "Because I hate ghost stories," said Prince Hippolyte in a tone which showed that he only understood the meaning of his words after he had uttered them.
    He spoke with such self-confidence that his hearers could not be sure whether what he said was very witty or very stupid. He was dressed in a dark-green dress coat, knee breeches of the color of cuisse de nymphe effrayee, as he called it, shoes, and silk stockings.
    The vicomte told his tale very neatly. It was an anecdote, then current, to the effect that the Duc d'Enghien had gone secretly to Paris to visit Mademoiselle George; that at her house he came upon Bonaparte, who also enjoyed the famous actress' favors, and that in his presence Napoleon happened to fall into one of the fainting fits to which he was subject, and was thus at the duc's mercy. The latter spared him, and this magnanimity Bonaparte subsequently repaid by death.
    The story was very pretty and interesting, especially at the point where the rivals suddenly recognized one another; and the ladies looked agitated.
    "Charming!" said Anna Pavlovna with an inquiring glance at the little princess.
    "Charming!" whispered the little princess, sticking the needle into her work as if to testify that the interest and fascination of the story prevented her from going on with it.
    The vicomte appreciated this silent praise and smiling gratefully prepared to continue, but just then Anna Pavlovna, who had kept a watchful eye on the young man who so alarmed her, noticed that he was talking too loudly and vehemently with the abbe, so she hurried to the rescue. Pierre had managed to start a conversation with the abbe about the balance of power, and the latter, evidently interested by the young man's simple-minded eagerness, was explaining his pet theory. Both were talking and listening too eagerly and too naturally, which was why Anna Pavlovna disapproved.
    "The means are... the balance of power in Europe and the rights of the people," the abbe was saying. "It is only necessary for one powerful nation like Russia--barbaric as she is said to be--to place herself disinterestedly at the head of an alliance having for its object the maintenance of the balance of power of Europe, and it would save the world!"
    "But how are you to get that balance?" Pierre was beginning.
    At that moment Anna Pavlovna came up and, looking severely at Pierre, asked the Italian how he stood Russian climate. The Italian's face instantly changed and assumed an offensively affected, sugary expression, evidently habitual to him when conversing with women.
    "I am so enchanted by the brilliancy of the wit and culture of the society, more especially of the feminine society, in which I have had the honor of being received, that I have not yet had time to think of the climate," said he.
    Not letting the abbe and Pierre escape, Anna Pavlovna, the more conveniently to keep them under observation, brought them into the larger circle.
    Just then another visitor entered the drawing room: Prince Andrew Bolkonski, the little princess' husband. He was a very handsome young man, of medium height, with firm, clearcut features. Everything about him, from his weary, bored expression to his quiet, measured step, offered a most striking contrast to his quiet, little wife. It was evident that he not only knew everyone in the drawing room, but had found them to be so tiresome that it wearied him to look at or listen to them. And among all these faces that he found so tedious, none seemed to bore him so much as that of his pretty wife. He turned away from her with a grimace that distorted his handsome face, kissed Anna Pavlovna's hand, and screwing up his eyes scanned the whole company.
    "You are off to the war, Prince?" said Anna Pavlovna.
    "General Kutuzov," said Bolkonski, speaking French and stressing the last syllable of the general's name like a Frenchman, "has been pleased to take me as an aide-de-camp...."
    "And Lise, your wife?"
    "She will go to the country."
    "Are you not ashamed to deprive us of your charming wife?"
    "Andre," said his wife, addressing her husband in the same coquettish manner in which she spoke to other men, "the vicomte has been telling us such a tale about Mademoiselle George and Buonaparte!"
    Prince Andrew screwed up his eyes and turned away. Pierre, who from the moment Prince Andrew entered the room had watched him with glad, affectionate eyes, now came up and took his arm. Before he looked round Prince Andrew frowned again, expressing his annoyance with whoever was touching his arm, but when he saw Pierre's beaming face he gave him an unexpectedly kind and pleasant smile.
    "There now!... So you, too, are in the great world?" said he to Pierre.
    "I knew you would be here," replied Pierre. "I will come to supper with you. May I?" he added in a low voice so as not to disturb the vicomte who was continuing his story.
    "No, impossible!" said Prince Andrew, laughing and pressing Pierre's hand to show that there was no need to ask the question. He wished to say something more, but at that moment Prince Vasili and his daughter got up to go and the two young men rose to let them pass.
    "You must excuse me, dear Vicomte," said Prince Vasili to the Frenchman, holding him down by the sleeve in a friendly way to prevent his rising. "This unfortunate fete at the ambassador's deprives me of a pleasure, and obliges me to interrupt you. I am very sorry to leave your enchanting party," said he, turning to Anna Pavlovna.
    His daughter, Princess Helene, passed between the chairs, lightly holding up the folds of her dress, and the smile shone still more radiantly on her beautiful face. Pierre gazed at her with rapturous, almost frightened, eyes as she passed him.
    "Very lovely," said Prince Andrew.
    "Very," said Pierre.
    In passing Prince Vasili seized Pierre's hand and said to Anna Pavlovna: "Educate this bear for me! He has been staying with me a whole month and this is the first time I have seen him in society. Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the society of clever women."

    Anna Pavlovna smiled and promised to take Pierre in hand. She knew his father to be a connection of Prince Vasili's. The elderly lady who had been sitting with the old aunt rose hurriedly and overtook Prince Vasili in the anteroom. All the affectation of interest she had assumed had left her kindly and tearworn face and it now expressed only anxiety and fear.
    "How about my son Boris, Prince?" said she, hurrying after him into the anteroom. "I can't remain any longer in Petersburg. Tell me what news I may take back to my poor boy."
    Although Prince Vasili listened reluctantly and not very politely to the elderly lady, even betraying some impatience, she gave him an ingratiating and appealing smile, and took his hand that he might not go away.
    "What would it cost you to say a word to the Emperor, and then he would be transferred to the Guards at once?" said she.
    "Believe me, Princess, I am ready to do all I can," answered Prince Vasili, "but it is difficult for me to ask the Emperor. I should advise you to appeal to Rumyantsev through Prince Golitsyn. That would be the best way."
    The elderly lady was a Princess Drubetskaya, belonging to one of the best families in Russia, but she was poor, and having long been out of society had lost her former influential connections. She had now come to Petersburg to procure an appointment in the Guards for her only son. It was, in fact, solely to meet Prince Vasili that she had obtained an invitation to Anna Pavlovna's reception and had sat listening to the vicomte's story. Prince Vasili's words frightened her, an embittered look clouded her once handsome face, but only for a moment; then she smiled again and clutched Prince Vasili's arm more tightly.
    "Listen to me, Prince," said she. "I have never yet asked you for anything and I never will again, nor have I ever reminded you of my father's friendship for you; but now I entreat you for God's sake to do this for my son--and I shall always regard you as a benefactor," she added hurriedly. "No, don't be angry, but promise! I have asked Golitsyn and he has refused. Be the kindhearted man you always were," she said, trying to smile though tears were in her eyes.
    "Papa, we shall be late," said Princess Helene, turning her beautiful head and looking over her classically molded shoulder as she stood waiting by the door.
    Influence in society, however, is a capital which has to be economized if it is to last. Prince Vasili knew this, and having once realized that if he asked on behalf of all who begged of him, he would soon be unable to ask for himself, he became chary of using his influence. But in Princess Drubetskaya's case he felt, after her second appeal, something like qualms of conscience. She had reminded him of what was quite true; he had been indebted to her father for the first steps in his career. Moreover, he could see by her manners that she was one of those women--mostly mothers--who, having once made up their minds, will not rest until they have gained their end, and are prepared if necessary to go on insisting day after day and hour after hour, and even to make scenes. This last consideration moved him.
    "My dear Anna Mikhaylovna," said he with his usual familiarity and weariness of tone, "it is almost impossible for me to do what you ask; but to prove my devotion to you and how I respect your father's memory, I will do the impossible--your son shall be transferred to the Guards. Here is my hand on it. Are you satisfied?"
    "My dear benefactor! This is what I expected from you--I knew your kindness!" He turned to go.
    "Wait--just a word! When he has been transferred to the Guards..." she faltered. "You are on good terms with Michael Ilarionovich Kutuzov... recommend Boris to him as adjutant! Then I shall be at rest, and then..."
    Prince Vasili smiled.
    "No, I won't promise that. You don't know how Kutuzov is pestered since his appointment as Commander in Chief. He told me himself that all the Moscow ladies have conspired to give him all their sons as adjutants."
    "No, but do promise! I won't let you go! My dear benefactor..."
    "Papa," said his beautiful daughter in the same tone as before, "we shall be late."
    "Well, au revoir! Good-by! You hear her?"
    "Then tomorrow you will speak to the Emperor?"
    "Certainly; but about Kutuzov, I don't promise."
    "Do promise, do promise, Vasili!" cried Anna Mikhaylovna as he went, with the smile of a coquettish girl, which at one time probably came naturally to her, but was now very ill-suited to her careworn face.
    Apparently she had forgotten her age and by force of habit employed all the old feminine arts. But as soon as the prince had gone her face resumed its former cold, artificial expression. She returned to the group where the vicomte was still talking, and again pretended to listen, while waiting till it would be time to leave. Her task was accomplished.
    "And what do you think of this latest comedy, the coronation at Milan?" asked Anna Pavlovna, "and of the comedy of the people of Genoa and Lucca laying their petitions before Monsieur Buonaparte, and Monsieur Buonaparte sitting on a throne and granting the petitions of the nations? Adorable! It is enough to make one's head whirl! It is as if the whole world had gone crazy."
    Prince Andrew looked Anna Pavlovna straight in the face with a sarcastic smile.
    "'Dieu me la donne, gare a qui la touche!' They say he was very fine when he said that," he remarked, repeating the words in Italian: "'Dio mi l'ha dato. Guai a chi la tocchi!'"
    "I hope this will prove the last drop that will make the glass run over," Anna Pavlovna continued. "The sovereigns will not be able to endure this man who is a menace to everything."
    "The sovereigns? I do not speak of Russia," said the vicomte, polite but hopeless: "The sovereigns, madame... What have they done for Louis XVII, for the Queen, or for Madame Elizabeth? Nothing!" and he became more animated. "And believe me, they are reaping the reward of their betrayal of the Bourbon cause. The sovereigns! Why, they are sending ambassadors to compliment the usurper."
    And sighing disdainfully, he again changed his position.
    Prince Hippolyte, who had been gazing at the vicomte for some time through his lorgnette, suddenly turned completely round toward the little princess, and having asked for a needle began tracing the Conde coat of arms on the table. He explained this to her with as much gravity as if she had asked him to do it.
    "Baton de gueules, engrele de gueules d' azur--maison Conde," said he.
    The princess listened, smiling.
    "If Buonaparte remains on the throne of France a year longer," the vicomte continued, with the air of a man who, in a matter with which he is better acquainted than anyone else, does not listen to others but follows the current of his own thoughts, "things will have gone too far. By intrigues, violence, exile, and executions, French society--I mean good French society--will have been forever destroyed, and then..."
    He shrugged his shoulders and spread out his hands. Pierre wished to make a remark, for the conversation interested him, but Anna Pavlovna, who had him under observation, interrupted:
    "The Emperor Alexander," said she, with the melancholy which always accompanied any reference of hers to the Imperial family, "has declared that he will leave it to the French people themselves to choose their own form of government; and I believe that once free from the usurper, the whole nation will certainly throw itself into the arms of its rightful king," she concluded, trying to be amiable to the royalist emigrant.
    "That is doubtful," said Prince Andrew. "Monsieur le Vicomte quite rightly supposes that matters have already gone too far. I think it will be difficult to return to the old regime."
    "From what I have heard," said Pierre, blushing and breaking into the conversation, "almost all the aristocracy has already gone over to Bonaparte's side."
    "It is the Buonapartists who say that," replied the vicomte without looking at Pierre. "At the present time it is difficult to know the real state of French public opinion."
    "Bonaparte has said so," remarked Prince Andrew with a sarcastic smile.
    It was evident that he did not like the vicomte and was aiming his remarks at him, though without looking at him.
    "'I showed them the path to glory, but they did not follow it,'" Prince Andrew continued after a short silence, again quoting Napoleon's words. "'I opened my antechambers and they crowded in.' I do not know how far he was justified in saying so."
    "Not in the least," replied the vicomte. "After the murder of the duc even the most partial ceased to regard him as a hero. If to some people," he went on, turning to Anna Pavlovna, "he ever was a hero, after the murder of the duc there was one martyr more in heaven and one hero less on earth."
    Before Anna Pavlovna and the others had time to smile their appreciation of the vicomte's epigram, Pierre again broke into the conversation, and though Anna Pavlovna felt sure he would say something inappropriate, she was unable to stop him.
    "The execution of the Duc d'Enghien," declared Monsieur Pierre, "was a political necessity, and it seems to me that Napoleon showed greatness of soul by not fearing to take on himself the whole responsibility of that deed."
    "Dieu! Mon Dieu!" muttered Anna Pavlovna in a terrified whisper.
    "What, Monsieur Pierre... Do you consider that assassination shows greatness of soul?" said the little princess, smiling and drawing her work nearer to her.
    "Oh! Oh!" exclaimed several voices.
    "Capital!" said Prince Hippolyte in English, and began slapping his knee with the palm of his hand.
    The vicomte merely shrugged his shoulders. Pierre looked solemnly at his audience over his spectacles and continued.
    "I say so," he continued desperately, "because the Bourbons fled from the Revolution leaving the people to anarchy, and Napoleon alone understood the Revolution and quelled it, and so for the general good, he could not stop short for the sake of one man's life."
    "Won't you come over to the other table?" suggested Anna Pavlovna.
    But Pierre continued his speech without heeding her.
    "No," cried he, becoming more and more eager, "Napoleon is great because he rose superior to the Revolution, suppressed its abuses, preserved all that was good in it--equality of citizenship and freedom of speech and of the press--and only for that reason did he obtain power."
    "Yes, if having obtained power, without availing himself of it to commit murder he had restored it to the rightful king, I should have called him a great man," remarked the vicomte.
    "He could not do that. The people only gave him power that he might rid them of the Bourbons and because they saw that he was a great man. The Revolution was a grand thing!" continued Monsieur Pierre, betraying by this desperate and provocative proposition his extreme youth and his wish to express all that was in his mind.
    "What? Revolution and regicide a grand thing?... Well, after that... But won't you come to this other table?" repeated Anna Pavlovna.
    "Rousseau's Contrat social," said the vicomte with a tolerant smile.
    "I am not speaking of regicide, I am speaking about ideas."
    "Yes: ideas of robbery, murder, and regicide," again interjected an ironical voice.
    "Those were extremes, no doubt, but they are not what is most important. What is important are the rights of man, emancipation from prejudices, and equality of citizenship, and all these ideas Napoleon has retained in full force."
    "Liberty and equality," said the vicomte contemptuously, as if at last deciding seriously to prove to this youth how foolish his words were, "high-sounding words which have long been discredited. Who does not love liberty and equality? Even our Saviour preached liberty and equality. Have people since the Revolution become happier? On the contrary. We wanted liberty, but Buonaparte has destroyed it."
    Prince Andrew kept looking with an amused smile from Pierre to the vicomte and from the vicomte to their hostess. In the first moment of Pierre's outburst Anna Pavlovna, despite her social experience, was horror-struck. But when she saw that Pierre's sacrilegious words had not exasperated the vicomte, and had convinced herself that it was impossible to stop him, she rallied her forces and joined the vicomte in a vigorous attack on the orator.
    "But, my dear Monsieur Pierre," said she, "how do you explain the fact of a great man executing a duc--or even an ordinary man who--is innocent and untried?"
    "I should like," said the vicomte, "to ask how monsieur explains the 18th Brumaire; was not that an imposture? It was a swindle, and not at all like the conduct of a great man!"
    "And the prisoners he killed in Africa? That was horrible!" said the little princess, shrugging her shoulders.
    "He's a low fellow, say what you will," remarked Prince Hippolyte.
    Pierre, not knowing whom to answer, looked at them all and smiled. His smile was unlike the half-smile of other people. When he smiled, his grave, even rather gloomy, look was instantaneously replaced by another--a childlike, kindly, even rather silly look, which seemed to ask forgiveness.
    The vicomte who was meeting him for the first time saw clearly that this young Jacobin was not so terrible as his words suggested. All were silent.
    "How do you expect him to answer you all at once?" said Prince Andrew. "Besides, in the actions of a statesman one has to distinguish between his acts as a private person, as a general, and as an emperor. So it seems to me."
    "Yes, yes, of course!" Pierre chimed in, pleased at the arrival of this reinforcement.
    "One must admit," continued Prince Andrew, "that Napoleon as a man was great on the bridge of Arcola, and in the hospital at Jaffa where he gave his hand to the plague-stricken; but... but there are other acts which it is difficult to justify."
    Prince Andrew, who had evidently wished to tone down the awkwardness of Pierre's remarks, rose and made a sign to his wife that it was time to go.

    Suddenly Prince Hippolyte started up making signs to everyone to attend, and asking them all to be seated began:
    "I was told a charming Moscow story today and must treat you to it. Excuse me, Vicomte--I must tell it in Russian or the point will be lost...." And Prince Hippolyte began to tell his story in such Russian as a Frenchman would speak after spending about a year in Russia. Everyone waited, so emphatically and eagerly did he demand their attention to his story.
    "There is in Moscow a lady, une dame, and she is very stingy. She must have two footmen behind her carriage, and very big ones. That was her taste. And she had a lady's maid, also big. She said..."
    Here Prince Hippolyte paused, evidently collecting his ideas with difficulty.
    "She said... Oh yes! She said, 'Girl,' to the maid, 'put on a livery, get up behind the carriage, and come with me while I make some calls.'"
    Here Prince Hippolyte spluttered and burst out laughing long before his audience, which produced an effect unfavorable to the narrator. Several persons, among them the elderly lady and Anna Pavlovna, did however smile.
    "She went. Suddenly there was a great wind. The girl lost her hat and her long hair came down...." Here he could contain himself no longer and went on, between gasps of laughter: "And the whole world knew...."
    And so the anecdote ended. Though it was unintelligible why he had told it, or why it had to be told in Russian, still Anna Pavlovna and the others appreciated Prince Hippolyte's social tact in so agreeably ending Pierre's unpleasant and unamiable outburst. After the anecdote the conversation broke up into insignificant small talk about the last and next balls, about theatricals, and who would meet whom, and when and where.
    Fifty-one hours. He knew just how long because of the pen, the Flair Fine-Liner he had been carrying in his pocket at the time of the crash. He had been able to reach down and snag it. Every time the clock chimed he made a mark on his arm - four vertical marks and then a diagonal slash to seal the quintet. When she came back there were ten groups of five and one extra. The little groups, neat at first, grew increasingly jagged as his hands began to tremble. He didn't believe he had missed a single hour. He had dozed, but never really slept. The chiming of the clock woke him each time the hour came around. After awhile he began to feel hunger and thirst - even through the pain. It became something like a horse race. At first King of Pain was far in the lead and I Got the Hungries was some twelve furlongs back. Pretty Thirsty was nearly lost in the dust. Then, around sun-up on the day after she had left, I Got the Hungries actually gave King of Pain a brief run for his money. He had spent much of the night alternately dozing and waking in a cold sweat, sure he was dying. After awhile he began to hope he was dying. Anything to be out of it. He'd never had any idea how bad hurting could get. The pilings grew and grew. He could see the barnacles which encrusted them, could see pale drowned things lying limply in the clefts of the wood. They were the lucky things. For them the hurting was over. Around three he had lapsed into a bout of useless screaming. By noon of the second day - Hour Twenty-Four - he realize that, as bad as the pain in his legs and pelvis was, something else was also making him hurt. It was withdrawal. Call this horse Junkie's Revenge, if you wanted. He needed the capsules in more ways than one. He thought of trying to get out of bed, but the thought of the thump and the drop and the accompanying escalation of pain constantly deterred him. He could imagine all too well ("So vivid!") how it would feel. He might have tried anyway, but she had locked the door. What could he do besides crawl across to it, snail-like, and lie there? In desperation he pushed back the blankets with his hands for the first time, hoping against hope that it wasn't as bad as the shapes the blankets made seemed to suggest it was. It wasn't as bad; it was worse. He stared with horror at what he had become below the knees. In his mind he heard the voice of Ronald Reagan in King's Raw, shrieking "Where's the rest of me?" The rest of him was here, and he might get out of this; the prospects for doing so seemed ever more remote, but he supposed it was technically possible . . . but he might well never walk again - and surely not until each of his legs had been rebroken, perhaps in several places, and pinned with steel, and mercilessly overhauled, and subjected to half a hundred shriekingly painful indignities. She had splinted them - of course he had known that, felt the rigid ungiving shapes, but until now he had not known what she had done it with. The lower parts of both legs were circled with slim steel rods that looked like the hacksawed remains of aluminum crutches. The rods had been strenuously taped, so that from the knees down he looked a bit like Im-Ho-Tep when he had been discovered in his tomb. The legs themselves meandered strangely up to his knees, turning outward here, jagging inward there. His left knee a throbbing focus of pain - no longer seemed to exist at all. There was a calf, and a thigh, and then a sickening bunch in the middle that looked like a salt-dome. His upper legs were badly swollen and seemed to have bowed slightly outward. His thighs, crotch, even his penis, were all still mottled with fading bruises. He had thought his lower legs might be shattered. That was not so, as it turned out. They had been pulverized. Moaning, crying, he pulled the blankets back up. No rolling out of bed. Better to lie here, die here, better to accept this level of pain, terrific as it was, until all pain was gone. Around four o'clock of the second day, Pretty Thirsty made its move. He had been aware of dryness in his mouth and throat for a long time, but now it began to seem more urgent. His tongue felt thick, too large. Swallowing hurt. He began to think of the pitcher of water she had dashed away. He dozed, woke, dozed. Day passed away" Night fell. He had to urinate. He laid the top sheet over his penis, hoping to create a crude filter, and urinated through it into his cupped and shaking hands. He tried to think of it as recycling and drank what he had managed to hold and then ticked his wet palms. Here was something else he reckoned he would not tell people about, if he lived long enough to tell them anything. He began to believe she was dead. She was deeply unstable, and unstable people frequently took their own lives. He saw her ("So vivid") pulling over to the side of the road in Old Bessie, taking a .44 from under the seat, putting it in her mouth, and shooting herself. "With Misery dead I don't want to live. Goodbye, cruel world!" Annie cried through a rain of tears, and pulled the trigger. He cackled, then moaned, then screamed. The wind screamed with him . . . but took no other notice. Or an accident? Was that possible? Oh, yes, sir! He saw her driving grimly, going too fast, and then ("He doesn't get it from MY side of the family!") going blank and driving right off the side of the road. Down and down and down. Hitting once and bursting into a fireball, dying without even knowing it. If she was dead he would die in here, a rat in a dry trap. He kept thinking unconsciousness would come and relieve him, but unconsciousness declined; instead Hour Thirty came, and Hour Forty; now King of Pain and Pretty Thirsty merged into one single horse (I Got the Hungries had been left in the dust long since) and he began to feel like nothing more than a slice of living tissue on a microscope slide or a worm on a hook - something, anyway, twisting endlessly and waiting only to die.
    When she came in he thought at first that she must be a dream, but then reality - or mere brute survival - took over and he began to moan and beg and plead, all of it broken, all of it coming from a deepening well of unreality. The one thing he saw clearly was that she was wearing a dark-blue dress and a sprigged hat - it was exactly the sort of outfit he had imagined her wearing on the stand in Denver. Her color was high and her eyes sparkled with life and vivacity. She was as close to pretty as Annie Wilkes ever could be, and when he tried to remember that scene later the only clear images he could fix upon were her flushed cheeks and the sprigged hat. From some final stronghold of sanity and evaluative clarity the rational Paul Sheldon had thought: She looks like a widow who just got fucked after a ten-year dry spell. In her hand she held a glass of water - a tall glass of water. "Take this," she said, and put a hand still cool from the out-of-doors on the back of his neck so he could sit up enough to drink without choking. He took three fast mouthfuls, the pores on the and plain of his tongue widening and clamoring at the shock of the water, some of it spilling down his chin and onto the tee-shirt he wore, and then she drew it away from him. He mewled for it, holding his shaking hands out. "No," she said. "No, Paul. A little at a time, or you'll vomit." After a bit she gave it back to him and allowed two more swallows. "The stuff," he said, coughing. He sucked at his lips and ran his tongue over them and then sucked his tongue. He could vaguely remember drinking his own piss, how hot it had been, how salty. "The capsules - pain - please, Annie, please, for God's sake please help me the pain is so bad - " "I know it is, but you must listen to me," she said, looking at him with that stern yet maternal expression. "I had to get away and think. I have thought deeply, and I hope I've thought well. I was not entirely sure; my thoughts are often muddy, I know that. I accept that. It's why I couldn't remember where I was all those times they kept asking me about. So I prayed. There is a God, you know, and He answers prayers. He always does. So I prayed. I said, "Dear God, Paul Sheldon may be dead when I get back." But God said, "He will not be. I have spared him, so you may shew him the way he must go."" She said shew as shoe, but Paul was barely hearing her anyway; his eyes were fixed on the glass of water. She gave him another three swallows. He slurped like a horse, burped, then cried out as shudder-cramps coursed through him. During all of this she looked at him benignly. "I will give you your medication and relieve your pain, she said, "but first you have a job to do. I'll be right back." She got up and headed for the door. "No!" he screamed. She took no notice at all. He lay in bed, cocooned in pain, trying not to moan and moaning anyway.
    "No," he said, crying and shaking. One thought worked at him, burned in him like acid: for less than a hundred bucks he could have had the manuscript photocopied in Boulder. People - Bryce, both of his ex-wives, hell, even his mother - had always told him he was crazy not to make at least one copy of his work and put it aside; after all, the Boulderado could catch on fire, or the New York townhouse; there might be a tornado or a flood or some other natural disaster. He had constantly refused, for no rational reason: it was just that making copies seemed a jinx thing to do. Well, here was the jinx and the natural disaster all rolled up m one; here was Hurricane Annie. In her innocence it had apparently never even crossed her mind that there might be another copy of Fast Cars someplace, and if he had just listened, if he had just invested the lousy hundred dollars - "Yes," she replied, holding out the matches to him. The manuscript, clean white Hammermill Bond with the title page topmost, lay on her lap. Her face was still clear and calm. "No," he said, turning his burning face away from her. "Yes. It's filthy. That aside, it's also no good." "You wouldn't know good if it walked up and bit your nose off!" he yelled, not caring. She laughed gently. Her temper had apparently gone on vacation. But, Paul thought, knowing Annie Wilkes, it could arrive back unexpectedly at any moment, bags in hand: Couldn't stand to stay away! How ya doin? "First of all," she said, "good would not bite my nose off. Evil might, but not good. Second of all, I do know good when I see it - you are good, Paul. All you need is a little help. Now, take the matches." He shook his head stiffly back and forth. "No." "Yes." "No!" "Yes." "No goddammit!" "Use all the profanity you want. I've heard it all before." "I won't do it." He closed his eyes. When he opened them she was holding out a cardboards square with the word NOVRIL printed across the top in bright blue letters. SAMPLE, the red letters just below the trade name read NOT TO BE DISPENSED WITHOUT PHYSICIAN'S PRESCRIPTION. Below the warning were four capsules in blister-packs. He grabbed. She pulled the cardboard out of his reach. "When you burn it," she said. "Then I'll give you the capsules - all four of these, I think - and the pain will go away. You will begin to feel serene again, and when you've got hold of yourself, I will change your bedding - I see you've wet it, and it must be uncomfortable - and I'll also change you. By then you will be hungry and I can give you some soup. Perhaps some unbuttered toast. But until you burn it, Paul, I can do nothing. I'm sorry." His tongue wanted to say Yes! Yes, okay! and so he bit it. He rolled away from her again - away from the enticing, maddening cardboard square, the white capsules in their lozenge-shaped transparent blisters. "You're the devil," he said. Again he expected rage and got the indulgent laugh, with its undertones of knowing sadness. "Oh yes! Yes! That's what a child thinks when mommy comes into the kitchen and sees him playing with the cleaning fluid from under the sink. He doesn't say it that way, of course, because he doesn't have your education. He just says, "Mommy, you're mean!"" Her hand brushed his hair away from his hot brow. The fingers trailed down his cheek, across the side of his neck, and then squeezed his shoulder briefly, with compassion, before drawing away. "The mother feels badly when her child says she's mean or if he cries for what's been taken away, as you are crying now. But she knows she's right, and so she does her duty. As I am doing mine." Three quick dull thumps as Annie dropped her knuckles on the manuscript - 190,000 words and five lives that a well and pain-free Paul Sheldon had cared deeply about, 190,000 words and five lives that he was finding more dispensable as each moment passed. The pills. The pills. He had to have the goddam pills. The lives were shadows. The pills were not. They were real. "Paul?" "No!" he sobbed. The faint rattle of the capsules in their blisters - silence then the woody shuffle of the matches in their box. "Paul?" "No!" "I'm waiting, Paul." Oh why in Christ's name are you doing this asshole Horatio-at-the-bridge act and who in Christ's name are you trying to impress? Do you think this is a movie or a TV show and you are getting graded by some audience on your bravery? You can do what she wants or you can hold out. If you hold out you'll die and then she'll burn the manuscript anyway. So what are you going to do, lie here and suffer for a book that would sell half as many copies as the least successful Misery book you ever wrote, and which Peter Prescott would shit upon in his finest genteel disparaging manner when he reviewed it for that great literary oracle, Newsweek? Come on, come on, wise up! Even Galileo recanted when he saw they really meant to go through with it! "Paul? I'm waiting. I can wait all day. Although I rather suspect that you may go into a coma before too long; I believe you are in a near-comatose state now, and I have had a lot of . . . " Her voice droned away. Yes! Give me the matches! Give me a blowtorch! Give me a Baby Huey and a load of napalm! I'll drop a tactical nuke on it if that's what you want, you fucking beldame! So spoke the opportunist, the survivor. Yet another part, failing now, near-comatose itself, went wailing off into the darkness: A hundred and ninety thousand words! Five lives! Two years" work! And what was the real bottom line: The truth! What you knew about THE FUCKING TRUTH! There was the creak of bedsprings as she stood up. "Well! You are a very stubborn little boy, I must say, and I can't sit by your bed all night, as much as I might like to! After all, I've been driving for nearly an hour, hurrying to get back here. I'll drop by in a bit and see if you've changed y - " "You burn it, then!" he yelled at her. She turned and looked at him. "No," she said, "I cannot do that, as much as I would like to and spare you the agony you feel." "Why not?" "Because," she said primly, "you must do it of your own free will." He began to laugh then, and her face darkened for the first time since she had come back, and she left the room with the manuscript under her arm.
    When she came back an hour later he took the matches. She laid the title page on the grill. He tried to light one of the Blue Tips and couldn't because it kept missing the rough strip or falling out of his hand. So Annie took the box and lit the match and put the lit match in his hand and he touched it to the comer of the paper and then let the match fall into the pot and watched, fascinated, as the flame tasted, then gulped. She had a barbecue fork with her this time, and when the page began to curl up, she poked it through the gaps in the grill. "This is going to take forever," he said. "I can't - " "No, we'll make quick work of it," she said. "But you must bum a few of the single pages, Paul - as a symbol of your understanding." She now laid the first page of Fast Cars on the grill, words he remembered writing some twenty-four months ago, in the New York townhouse: "'I don't have no wheels," Tony Bonasaro said, walking up to the girt coming down the steps, "and I am a slow learner, but I am a fast driver."" Oh it brought that day back like the right Golden Oldie on the radio. He remembered walking around the apartment from room to room, big with book, more than big, gravid, and here were the labor pains. He remembered finding one of Joan's bras under a sofa cushion earlier in the day, and she had been gone a full three months, showed you what kind of a job the cleaning service did; he remembered hearing New York traffic, and, faintly, the monotonous tolling of a church bell calling the faithful to mass. He remembered sitting down. As always, the blessed relief of starting, a feeling that was like falling into a hole filled with bright light. As always, the glum knowledge that he would not write as well as he wanted to write. As always, the terror of not being able to finish, of accelerating into a blank wall. As always, the marvellous joyful nervy feeling of journey begun. He looked at Annie Wilkes and said, clearly but not loud: "Annie, please don't make me do this." She held the matches immovably before him and said: "You can do as you choose." So he burned his book.
    She made him bum the first page, the last page, and nine pairs of pages from various points in the manuscript because nine, she said, was a number of power, and nine doubled was lucky. He saw that she had used a magic marker to black out the profanities, at least as far as she had read. "Now," she said, when the ninth pair was burned. "You've been a good boy and a real sport and I know this hurts you almost as badly as your legs do and I won't draw it out any longer." She removed the grill and set the rest of the manuscript into the pot, crunching down the crispy black curls of the pages he had already burned. The room stank of matches and burned paper. Smells like the devil's cloakroom, he though deliriously, and if there had been anything in the wrinkle. walnut-shell that had once been his stomach, he supposed he would have vomited it up. She lit another match and put it in his hand. Somehow he was able to lean over and drop the match into the pot. I didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter. She was nudging him. Wearily, he opened his eyes. "It went out." She scratched another match and put it in his hand. So he somehow managed to lean over again, awakening rusty handsaws in his legs as he did so, and touched the match to the corner of the pile of manuscript. This time the flame spread instead of shrinking and dying around the stick. He leaned back, eyes shut, listening to the crackling sound, feeling the dull, baking heat. "Goodness!" she cried, alarmed. He opened his eyes and saw that charred bits of paper were wafting up from the barbecue on the heated air. Annie lumbered from the room. He heard water from the tub taps thud into the floorpail. He idly watched a dark piece of manuscript float across the room and land on or of the gauzy curtains. There was a brief spark - he had time to wonder if perhaps the room was going to catch on fire - that winked once and then went out, leaving a tiny hole like a cigarette burn. Ash sifted down on the bed. Some landed on his arms. He didn't really care, one way or the other. Annie came back, eyes trying to dart everywhere at once trying to trace the course of each carbonized page as it rose and seesawed. Flames flipped and flickered over the edge the pot. "Goodness!" she said again, holding the bucket of water and looking around, trying to decide where to throw it or it needed to be thrown at all. Her lips were trembling and wet with spit. As Paul watched, her tongue darted out and slicked them afresh. "Goodness! Goodness!" It seemed to be all she could say. Even caught in the squeezing vise of his pain, Paul felt an instant of intense pleasure - this was what Annie Wilkes looked like when she was frightened. It was a look he could come to love. Another page wafted up, this one still running with little tendrils of low blue fire, and that decided her. With another "Goodness!" she carefully poured the bucket of water into the barbecue pot. There was a monstrous hissing and a plume of steam. The smell was wet and awful, charred and yet somehow creamy. When she left he managed to get up on his elbow one final time. He looked into the barbecue pot and saw something that looked like a charred lump of log floating in a brackish pond. After awhile, Annie Wilkes came back. Incredibly, she was humming. She sat him up and pushed capsules into his mouth. He swallowed them and lay back, thinking: I'm going to kill her.
    "Eat," she said from far away, and he felt stinging pain. He opened his eyes and saw her sitting beside him - for the first time he was actually on a level with her, facing her. He realized with bleary, distant surprise that for the first time in untold eons he was sitting, too . . . actually sitting up. Who gives a shit? he thought, and let his eyes slip shut again. The tide was in. The pilings were covered. The tide had finally come in and the next time it went out it might go out forever and so he was going to ride the waves while there were waves left to ride, he could think about sitting up later . . . "Eat!" she said again, and this was followed by a recurrence of pain. It buzzed against the left side of his head, making him whine and try to pull away. "Eat, Paul! You've got to come out of it enough to eat or . . . " Zzzzzing! His earlobe. She was pinching it. "Kay," he muttered. "Kay! Don't yank it off, for God's sake." He forced his eyes open, Each lid felt as if it had a cement block dangling from it. Immediately the spoon was in his mouth, dumping hot soup down his throat. He swallowed to keep from drowning. Suddenly, out of nowhere - the most amazing comeback this announcer has ever seen, ladies and gentlemen! - I Got the Hungries came bursting into view. It was as if that first spoonful of soup had awakened his gut from a hypnotic trance. He took the rest as fast as she could spoon it into his mouth, seeming to grow more rather than less hungry as he slurped and swallowed. He had a vague memory of her wheeling out the sinister, smoking barbecue and then wheeling in something which, in his drugged and fading state, he had thought might be a shopping cart. The idea had caused him to feel neither surprise nor wonder; he was visiting with Annie Wilkes, after all. Barbecues, shopping carts; maybe tomorrow a parking meter or a nuclear warhead. When you lived in the funhouse, the laff riot just never stopped. He had drifted off, but now he realized that the shopping cart had been a folded-up wheelchair. He was sitting in it, his sprinted legs stuck stiffly out in front of him, his pelvic area feeling uncomfortably swollen and not very happy with the new position. She put me in it while I was conked out, he thought. Lifted me. Dead weight. Christ she must be strong. "Finished!" she said. "I'm pleased to see how well you took that soup, Paul. I believe you are going to mend. We will not say "Good as new" - alas, no - but if we don't have any more of these . . . these contretemps . . . I believe you'll mend just fine. Now I'm going to change your nasty old bed, and when that's done I'm going to change nasty old you, and then, if you're not having too much pain and still feel hungry, I am going to let you have some toast." "Thank you, Annie," he said humbly, and thought: Your throat. If I can, I'll give you a chance to lick your lips and say "Goodness!" But only once, Annie. Only once.
    Four hours later he was back in bed and he would have burned all his books for even a single Novril. Sitting hadn't bothered him a bit while he was doing it - not with enough shit in his bloodstream to have put half the Prussian Army to steep - but now it felt as if a swarm of bees had been loosed in the lower half of his body. He screamed very loudly - the food must have done something for him, because he could not remember being able to scream so loudly since he had emerged from the dark cloud. He sensed her standing just outside the bedroom door in the hallway for a long time before she actually came in, immobile, turned off, unplugged, gazing blankly at no more than the doorknob or perhaps the pattern of lines on her own hands. "Here." She gave him his medication - two capsules this time. He swallowed them, holding her wrist to steady the glass. "I bought you two presents in town," she said, getting up. "Did you?" he croaked. She pointed at the wheelchair which brooded in the corner with its steel leg-rests stuck stiffly out. "I'll show you the other one tomorrow. Now get some sleep, Paul."
    But for a long time no sleep came. He floated on the dope and thought about the situation he was in. It seemed a little easier now. It was easier to think about than the book which he had created and then uncreated. Things . . . isolated things like pieces of cloth which may be pieced together to make a quilt. They were miles from the neighbors who, Annie said, didn't like her. What was the name? Boynton. No, Roydman. That was it. Roydman. And how far from town? Not too far, surely. He was in a circle whose diameter might be as small as fifteen miles, or as large as forty-five. Annie Wilkes's house was in that circle, and the Roydmans", and downtown Sidewinder, however pitifully small that might be. . . . And my car. My Camaro's somewhere in that circle, too. Did the police find it? He thought not. He was a well-known person; if a car had been found with tags registered in his name, a little elementary checking would have shown he had been in Boulder and had then dropped out of sight. The discovery of his wrecked and empty car would have prompted a search, stories on the news . . . She never watches the news on IV, never listens to the radio at all - unless she's got one with an earplug, or phones. It was all a little like the dog in the Sherlock Holmes story - the one that didn't bark. His car hadn't been found because the cops hadn't come. If it had been found, they would have checked everyone in his hypothetical circle, wouldn't they?
    And just how many people could there be in such a circle, here close to the top of the Western Slope? The Roydmans, Annie Wilkes, maybe ten or twelve others? And just because it hadn't been found so far didn't mean it wouldn't be found. His vivid imagination (which he had not gotten from anyone on his mother's side of the family) now took over. The cop was tall, handsome in a cold way, his sideburns perhaps a bit longer than regulation. He was wearing dark sunglasses in which the person being questioned would see his own face in duplicate. His voice had a flat Midwestern twang. We've found an overturned car halfway down Humbuggy Mountain which belongs to a famous writer named Paul Sheldon. There's some blood on the seats and the dashboard, but no sign of him. Must have crawled out, may even have wandered away in a daze - That was a laugh, considering the state of his legs, but of course they would not know what injuries he might have sustained. They would only assume that, if he was not here, he must have been strong enough to get at least a little way. The course of their deductions was not apt to lead to such an unlikely possibility as kidnapping, at least not at first, and probably never. Do you remember seeing anyone on the road the day of the storm? Tall man, forty-two years old, sandy hair? Probably wearing blue jeans and a checked flannel shirt and a parka? Might have looked sort of bunged up? Hell, might not even have known who he was? Annie would give the cop coffee in the kitchen; Annie would be mindful that all the doors between there and the spare bedroom should be closed. In case he should groan. Why, no, officer - I didn't see a soul. In fact, I came back from town just as quick as I could chase when Tony Roberts told me that bad old storm wasn't turning south after all. The cop, setting down the coffee cup and getting up: Well, if you should see anyone fitting the description, ma'am, I hope you'll get in touch with us just as fast as you can. He's quite a famous Person. Been in People magazine. Some other ones, too. I certainly will, officer! And away he would go. Maybe something like that had already happened and he just didn't know about it. Maybe his imaginary cop's actual counterpart or counterparts had visited Annie while he was doped out. God knew he spent enough time doped out. More thought convinced him it was unlikely. He wasn't Joe Blow from Kokomo, just some transient blowing through. He had been in People (first best-seller) and Us (first divorce); there had been a question about him one Sunday in Walter Scott's Personality Parade. There would have been rechecks, maybe by phone, probably by the cops themselves. When a celebrity - even a quasi-celebrity like a writer disappeared, the heat came on. You're only guessing, man. Maybe guessing, maybe deducing. Either way it was better than just lying here and doing nothing. What about guardrails? He tried to remember and couldn't. He could only remember reaching for his cigarettes, then the amazing way the ground and the sky had switched places, then darkness. But again, deduction (or educated guesswork, if you wanted to be snotty) made it easier to believe there had been none. Smashed guardrails and snapped guywires would have alerted roadcrews. So what exactly had happened? He had lost control at a place where there wasn't much of a drop, that was what - just enough grade to allow the car to flip over in space. If the drop had been steeper, there would have been guardrails. If the drop had been steeper, Annie Wilkes would have found it difficult or impossible to get to him, let alone drag him back to the road by herself. So where was his car? Buried in the snow, of course. Paul put his arm over his eyes and saw a town plow coming up the road where he has crashed only two hours earlier. The plow is a dim orange blob in the driving snow near the end of this day. The man driving is bundled to the eyes; on his head he wears an old-fashioned trainman's cap of blue-and-white pillowtick. To his right, at the bottom of a shallow slope which will, not far from here, deepen into a more typical upcountry gorge, lies Paul Sheldon's Camaro, with the faded blue HART FOR PRESIDENT sticker on the rear bumper just about the brightest thing down there. The guy driving the plow doesn't see the car; bumper sticker is too faded to catch his eye. The wing-plows block most of his side-vision, and besides, it's almost dark and he's beat. He just wants to finish this last run so he can turn the plow over to his relief and get a hot cup of joe. He sweeps past, the plow spurning cloudy snow into the gully. The Camaro, already drifted to the windows, is now buried to the roof-line. Later, in the deepest part of a stormy twilight when even the things directly in front of you look unreal, the second-shift man drives by, headed in the opposite direction, and entombs it. Paul opened his eyes and looked at the plaster ceiling. There was a fine series of hairline cracks up there that seemed to make a trio of interlocked W's. He had become very familiar with them over the endless run of days he had lain here since coming out of the cloud, and now he traced them again, idly thinking of w words such as wicked and wretched and witchlike and wriggling. Yes. Could have been that way. Could have been. Had she thought of what might happen when his car was found? She might have. She was nuts, but being nuts didn't make her stupid. Yet it had never crossed her mind that he might have a duplicate of Fast Cars. Yeah. And she was right. The bitch was right. I didn't. Images of the blackened pages floating up, the flames, the sounds, the smell of the uncreation - he gritted his teeth against the images and tried to shut his mind away from them; vivid was not always good. No, you didn't, but nine out of ten writers would have - at least they would if they were getting paid as much as you have been for even the non-Misery books. She never even thought of it. She's not a writer. Neither is she stupid, as I think we have both agreed. I think that she is filled with herself - she does not just have a large ego but one which is positively grandiose. Burning it seemed to her the proper thing to do, and the idea that her concept of the proper thing to do might be short-circuited by something so piddling as a bank Xerox machine and a couple of rolls of quarters . . . that blip just never crossed her screen, my friend. His other deductions might be like houses built on quicksand, but this view of Annie Wilkes seemed to him as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar. Because of his researches for Misery, he had rather more than a layman's understanding of neurosis and psychosis, and he knew that although a borderline psychotic might have alternating periods of deep depression and almost aggressive cheerfulness and hilarity, the puffed and infected ego underlay all, positive that all eyes were upon him or her, positive that he or she was staffing in a great drama; the outcome was a thing for which untold millions waited with held breath. Such an ego simply forbade certain lines of thought. These lines were predictable because they all stretched in the same direction: from the unstable person to objects, situations, or other persons outside of the subject's field of control (or fantasy: to the neurotic there might be some difference but to the psychotic they were one and the same). Annie Wilkes had wanted Fast Cars destroyed, and so, to her, there had been only the one copy. Maybe I could have saved the damn thing by telling her there were more. She would have seen destroying the manuscript was futile. She - His breathing, which had been slowing toward sleep, suddenly caught in his throat and his eyes widened. Yes, she would have seen it was futile. She would have been forced to acknowledge one of those lines leading to a place beyond her control. The ego would be hurt, squealing - I have such a temper! If she had been clearly faced with the fact that she couldn't destroy his "dirty book", might she not have decided to destroy the creator of the dirty book instead? After all, there was no copy of Paul Sheldon. His heart was beating fast. In the other room the clock began to bong, and overhead he heard her thumping footfalls cross his ceiling. The faint sound of her urinating. The toilet flushing. The heavy pad of her feet as she went back to bed. The creak of the springs. You won't make me mad again, will you? His mind suddenly tried to break into a gallop, an overbred trotter trying to break stride. What, if anything, did all this dime-store psychoanalysis mean in terms of his car? About when it was found? What did it mean to him? "Wait a minute," he whispered in the dark. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, just hold the phone. Slow down." He put his arm across his eyes again and again conjured up the state trooper with the dark sunglasses and the overlong sideburns. We've found an overturned car halfway down Humbuggy Mountain, the state trooper was saying, and blah-de-blah-de-blah. Only this time Annie doesn't invite him to stay for coffee. This time she isn't going to feel safe until he's out of her house and far down the road. Even in the kitchen, even with two closed doors between them and the guest-room, even with the guest doped to the ears, the trooper might hear a groan. If his car was found, Annie Wilkes would know she was in trouble, wouldn't she? "Yes," Paul whispered. His legs were beginning to hurt again, but in the dawning horror of this recognition he barely noticed. She would be in trouble not because she had taken him to her house, especially if it was closer than Sidewinder (and so Paul believed it to be); for that they would probably give her a medal and a lifetime membership in the Misery Chastain Fan Club (to Paul's endless chagrin there actually was such a thing). The problem was, she had taken him to her house and installed him in the guest-room and told no one. No phone-call to the local ambulance service: "This is Annie up on the Humbuggy Mountain Road and I've got a fellow here, looks a bit like King Kong used him for a trampoline." The problem was, she had filled him full of dope to which she was certainly not supposed to have access - not if he was even half as hooked as he thought he was. The problem was, she had followed the dope with a weird sort of treatment, sticking needles in his arms, splinting his legs with sawed-off pieces of aluminum crutches. The problem was, Annie Wilkes had been on the stand up there in Denver . . . and not as a supporting witness, either, Paul thought. I'd bet the house and lot on that. So she watches the cop go down the road in his spandy-clean cruiser (spandy-clean except for the caked chunks of snow and salt nestled in the wheel-wells and under the bumpers, that is), and she feels safe again . . . but not too safe, because now she is like an animal with its wind up. Way, way up. The cops will look and look and look, because he is not just good old Joe Blow from Kokomo; he is Paul Sheldon, the literary Zeus from whose brow sprang Misery Chastain, darling of the dump-bins and sweetheart of the supermarkets. Maybe when they don't find him they'll stop looking, or at least look someplace else, but maybe one of the Roydmans saw her going by that night and saw something funny in the back of Old Bessie, something wrapped in a quilt, something vaguely manlike. Even if they hadn't seen a thing, she wouldn't put it past the Roydmans to make up a story to get her in trouble; they didn't like her. The cops might come back, and next time her house-guest might not be so quiet. He remembered her eyes darting around aimlessly when the fire in the barbecue pot was on the verge of getting out of control. He could see her tongue sticking her lips. He could see her walking back and forth, hands clenching and unclenching, peeking every now and then into the guest-room where he lay lost in his cloud. Every now and then she would utter "Goodness!" to the empty rooms. She had stolen a rare bird with beautiful feathers - a rare bird which came from Africa. And what would they do if they found out? Why, put her up on the stand again, of course. Put her up on the stand again in Denver. And this time she might not walk free. He took his arm away from his eyes. He looked at the interlocking W's swaying drunkenly across the ceiling. He didn't need his elbow over his eyes to see the rest. She might hang on to him for a day or a week. It might take a follow-up phone-call or visit to make her decide to get rid of her rara avis. But in the end she would do it, just as wild dogs begin to bury their illicit kills after they have been hunted awhile. She would give him five pills instead of two, or perhaps smother him with a pillow; perhaps she would simply shoot him. Surely there was a rifle around somewhere - almost everyone living in the high country had one - and that would take care of the problem. No - not the gun. Too messy. Might leave evidence. None of that had happened yet because no one had found the car. They might be looking for him in New York or in L.A., but no one was looking for him in Sidewinder, Colorado. But in the spring. The W's straggled across the ceiling. Washed. Wiped. Wasted. The throbbing in his legs was more insistent; the next time the clock bonged she would come, but he was almost afraid she would read his thoughts on his face, like the bare premise of a story too gruesome to write. His eyes drifted left. There was a calendar on the wall. It showed a boy riding a sled down a hill. It was February according to the calendar, but if his calculations were right it was already early March. Annie Wilkes had just forgotten to turn the page. How long before the melting snows revealed his Camaro with its New York plates and its registration in the glove compartment proclaiming the owner to be Paul Sheldon? How long before that trooper called on her, or until she read it in the paper? How long until the spring melt? Six weeks? Five? That could be the length of my life, Paul thought, and began shuddering. By then his legs were fully awake, and it was not until she had come in and given him another dose of medicine that he was able to fall asleep.
    The next evening she brought him the Royal. It was an e model from an era when such things as electric typewriters, color TVs, and touch-tone telephones were only science fiction. It was as black and as proper as a pair of high-button shoes. Glass panels were set into the sides, revealing the machine's levers, springs, ratchets, and rods. A steel return lever, dull with disuse, jutted to one side like a hitchhiker's thumb. The roller was dusty, its hard rubber scarred and pitted. The letters ROYAL ran across the front of the machine in a semicircle. Grunting, she set it down on the foot of the bed between his legs after holding it up for his inspection for a moment. He stared at it. Was it grinning? Christ, it looked like it was. Anyway, it already looked like trouble. The ribbon was a faded two-tone, red over black. He had forgotten there were such ribbons. The sight of this one called up no pleasant nostalgia. "Well?" She was smiling eagerly. "What do you think?" "It's nice!" he said at once. "A real antique." Her smile clouded. "I didn't buy it for an antique. I bought it for second-hand. Good second-hand." He responded with immediate glibness. "Hey! There ain't no such thing as an antique typewriter - not when you come right down to it. A good typewriter lasts damn near forever. These old office babies are tanks!" If he could have reached it he would have patted it. If he could have reached it he would have kissed it. Her smile returned. His heartbeat slowed a little. "I got it at Used News. Isn't that a silly name for a store? But Nancy Dartmonger, the lady who runs it, is a silly woman." Annie darkened a little, but he saw at once that she was not darkening at him - the survival instinct, he was discovering, might be only instinct in itself, but it created some really amazing shortcuts to empathy. He found himself becoming more attuned to her moods, her cycles; he listened to her tick as if she were a wounded clock. "As well as silly, she's bad. Dartmonger! Her name ought to be Whoremonger. Divorced twice and now she's living with a bartender. That's why when you said it was an antique - " "It looks fine," he said. She paused a long moment and then said, as if confessing: "It has a missing n." "Does it?" "Yes - see?" She tilted the typewriter up so he could peer at the banked semicircle of keys and see the missing striker like a missing molar in a mouthful of teeth worn but otherwise complete. "I see." She set it back down. The bed rocked a little. Paul guessed the typewriter might weigh as much as fifty pounds. It had come from a time when there were no alloys, no plastics . . . also no six-figure book advances, no movie tie-in editions, no USA Today, no Entertainment Tonight, no celebrities doing ads for credit cards or vodka. The Royal grinned at him, promising trouble. "She wanted forty-five dollars but gave me five Because of the missing n." She offered him a crafty smile. No fool she, it said. He smiled back. The tide was in. That made both smiling and lying easy. "Gave it to you? You mean you didn't dicker?" Annie preened a little. "I told her n was an important letter," she allowed. "Well good for you! Damn!" Here was a new discovery. Sycophancy was easy once you got the hang of it. Her smile grew sly, inviting him to share a delicious secret. "I told her n was one of the letters in my favorite writer's name." "It's two of the letters in my favorite nurse's name." Her smile became a glow. Incredibly, a blush rose in her solid cheeks. That's what it would look like, he thought, if you built a furnace inside the mouth of one of those idols in the H. Rider Haggard stories. That is what it would look like at night. "You fooler!" she simpered. "I'm not!" he said. "Not at all." "Well!" She looked off for a moment, not blank but just pleased, a little flustered, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. Paul could have taken some pleasure in the way this was going if not for the weight of the typewriter, as solid as the woman and also damaged; it sat there grinning with its missing tooth, promising trouble. "The wheelchair was much more expensive," she said. "Ostomy supplies have gone right out of sight since I -" She broke off, frowned, cleared her throat. Then she looked back at him, smiling. "But it's time you began sitting up, and I don't begrudge the cost one tiny bit. And of course you can't type lying down, can you?" "No . . . " "I've got a board . . . I cut it to size . . . and paper . . . wait!" She dashed from the room like a girl, leaving Paul and the typewriter to regard each other. His grin disappeared the moment her back was turned. The Royal's never varied. He supposed later that he had pretty well known what all this was about, just as he supposed he had known what the typewriter would sound like, how it would clack through its grin like that old comic-strip character Ducky Daddles. She came back with a package of Corrasable Bond in shrink-wrap and a board about three feet wide by four feet long. "Look!" She put the board on the arms of the wheelchair that stood by his bed like some solemn skeletal visitor. Already he could see the ghost of himself behind that board, pent in like a prisoner. She put the typewriter on the board, facing the ghost, and put the package of Corrasable Bond - the paper he hated most in all the world because of the way the type blurred when the pages were shuffled together - beside it. She had now created a kind of cripple's study. "What do you think?" "It looks good," he said, uttering the biggest lie of his life with perfect ease, and then asked the question to which he already knew the answer. "What will I write there, do you think?" "Oh, but Paul" she said, turning to him, her eyes dancing animatedly in her flushed face. "I don't think, I know! You're going to use this typewriter to write a new novel! Your best novel! Misery's Return!"
    Misery's Return. He felt nothing at all. He supposed a man who had just cut his hand off in a power saw might feel this same species of nothing as he stood regarding his spouting wrist with dull surprise. "Yes!" Her face shone like a searchlight. Her powerful hands were clasped between her breasts. "It will be a book just for me, Paul! My payment for nursing you back to health! The one and only copy of the newest Misery book! I'll have something no one else in the world has, no matter how much they might want it! Think of it!" "Annie, Misery is dead." But already, incredibly, he was thinking, I could bring her back. The thought filled him with tired revulsion but no real surprise. After all, a man who could drink from a floor-bucket should be capable of a little directed writing. "No she's not," Annie replied dreamily. "Even when I was . . . when I was so mad at you, I knew she wasn't really dead. I knew you couldn't really kill her. Because you're good." "Am I?" he said, and looked at the typewriter. It grinned at him. We're going to find out just how good you are, old buddy, it whispered. "Yes!" "Annie, I don't know if I can sit in that wheelchair. Last time - " "Last time it hurt, you bet it did. And it will hurt next time, too. Maybe even a little more. But there will come a day - and it won't be long, either, although it may seem longer to you than it really is - when it hurts a little less. And a little less. And a little less." "Annie, will you tell me one thing?" "Of course, dear!" "If I write this story for you - " "Novel! A nice big one like all the others - maybe even bigger!" He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. "Okay - if I write this novel for you, will you let me go when it's done?" For a moment unease slipped cloudily across her face, and then she was looking at him carefully, studiously. "You speak as though I were keeping you prisoner, Paul." He said nothing, only looked at her. "I think that by the time you finish, you should be up to the . . . up to the strain of meeting people again," she said. "Is that what you want to hear?" "That's what I wanted to hear, yes." "Well, honestly! I knew writers were supposed to have big egos, but I guess I didn't understand that meant ingratitude, too!" He went on looking at her and after a moment she looked away, impatient and a little flustered. At last he said: "I'll need all the Misery books, if you've got them, because I don't have my concordance." "Of course I have them!" she said. Then: "What's a concordance?" "It's a loose-leaf binder where I have all my Misery stuff," he said. "Characters and places, mostly, but cross-indexed three or four different ways. Time-lines. Historical stuff . . . " He saw she was barely listening. This was the second time she'd shown not the slightest interest in a trick of the trade that would have held a class of would-be writers spellbound. The reason, he thought, was simplicity itself. Annie Wilkes was the perfect audience, a woman who loved stories without having the slightest interest in the mechanics of making them. She was the embodiment of that Victorian archetype, Constant Reader. She did not want to hear about his concordance and indices because to her Misery and the characters surrounding her were perfectly real. Indices meant nothing to her. If he had spoken of a village census in Little Dunthorpe, she might have shown some interest. "I'll make sure you get the books. They're a little dog-eared, but that's a sign a book has been well read and well loved, isn't it?" "Yes," he said. No need to lie this time. "Yes it is. "I'm going to study up on book-binding," she said dreamily. "I'm going to bind Misery's Return myself. Except for my mother's Bible, it will be the only real book I own." "That's good," he said, just to say something. He was feeling a little sick to his stomach. I'll go out now so you can put on your thinking cap," she said. "This is exciting! Don't you think so?" "Yes, Annie. I sure do." "I'll be in with some breast of chicken and mashed potatoes and peas for you in half an hour. Even a little Jell-O because you've been such a good boy. And I'll make sure you get your pain medication right on time. You can even have an extra pill in the night if you need it. I want to make sure you get your sleep, because you have to go back to work tomorrow. You'll mend faster when you're working, I'll bet!" She went to the door, paused there for a moment, and then, grotesquely, blew him a kiss. The door closed behind her. He did not want to look at the typewriter and for awhile resisted, but at last his eyes rolled helplessly toward it. It sat on the bureau, grinning. Looking at it was a little like looking at an instrument of torture - boot, rack, strappado - which is standing inactive, but only for the moment. I think that by the time you finish, you should be . . . up to the strain of meeting people again. Ah, Annie, you were lying to both of us. I knew it, and you did, too. I saw it in your eyes. The limited vista now opening before him wag extremely unpleasant: six weeks of life which he would spend suffering with his broken bones and renewing his acquaintance with Misery Chastain, nee Carmichael, followed by a hasty interment in the back yard. Or perhaps she would feed his remains to Misery the pig - that would have a certain justice, black and gruesome though it might be. Then don't do it. Make her mad. She's like a walking bottle of nitroglycerine as it is. Bounce her around a little. Make her explode. Better than lying here suffering. He tried looking up at the interlocked W's, but all too soon he was looking at the typewriter again. It stood atop the bureau, mute and thick and full of words he did not want to write, grinning with its one missing tooth. I don't think you believe that, old buddy. I think you want to stay alive even if it does hurt. If it means bringing Misery back for an encore, you'll do it. You'll try, anyway - but first you are going to have to deal with me . . . and I don't think I like your face. "Makes us even," Paul croaked. This time he tried looking out the window, where fresh snow was falling. Soon enough, however, he was looking at the typewriter again with avid repulsed fascination, not even aware of just when his gaze had shifted.
    Getting into the chair didn't hurt as much as he had feared, and that was good, because previous experience had shown him that he would hurt plenty afterward. She set the tray of food down on the bureau, then rolled the wheelchair over to the bed. She helped him to sit up - there was a dull, thudding flare of pain in his pelvic area but it subsided - and then she leaned over, the side of her neck pressing against his shoulder like the neck of a horse. For an instant he could feel the thump of her pulse, and his face twisted in revulsion. Then her right arm was firmly around his back, her left under his buttocks. "Try not to move from the knees down while I do this," she said, and then simply slid him into the chair. She did it with the ease of a woman sliding a book into an empty slot in her bookcase. Yes, she was strong. Even in good shape the outcome of a fight between him and Annie would have been in doubt. As he was now it would be like Wally Cox taking on Boom Boom Mancini. She put the board in front of him, "See how well it fits?" she said, and went to the bureau to get the food. "Annie?" "Yes." "I wonder if you could turn that typewriter around. So it faces the wall." She frowned. "Why in the world would you want me to do that?" Because I don't want it grinning at me all night. "Old superstition of mine," he said. "I always turn my typewriter to the wall before I start writing." He paused and added: "Every night while I am writing, as a matter of fact." "It's like step on a crack, break your mother's back," she said. "I never step on a crack if I can help it." She turned it around so it grinned at nothing but blank wall. "Better?" "Much." "You are such a silly," she said, and came over and began to feed him.
    He dreamed of Annie Wilkes in the court of some fabulous Arabian caliph, conjuring imps and genies from bottles and then flying around the court on a magic carpet. When the carpet banked past him (her hair streamed out behind her; her eyes were as bright and flinty as the eyes of a sea-captain navigating among icebergs), he saw it was woven all in green and white; it made a Colorado license plate. Once upon a time, Annie was calling. Once upon a time it came to pass. This happened in the days when my grandfather's grandfather was a boy. This is the story of how a poor boy. I heard this from a man who. Once upon a time. Once upon a time.
    When he woke up Annie was shaking him and bright morning sun was slanting in the window - the snow had ended. "Wake up, sleepyhead!" Annie was almost trilling. "I've got yogurt and a nice boiled egg for you, and then it will be time for you to begin." He looked at her eager face and felt a strange new emotion - hope. He had dreamed that Annie Wilkes was Scheherazade, her solid body clad in diaphanous robes, her big feet stuffed into pink sequined slippers with curly toes as she rode on her magic carpet and chanted the incantatory phrases which open the doors of the best stories. But of course it wasn't Annie that was Scheherazade. He was. And if what he wrote was good enough, if she could not bear to kill him until she discovered how it all came out no matter how much or how loudly her animal instincts yelled for her to do it, that she must do it . . . Might he not have a chance? He looked past her and saw she had turned the typewriter around before waking him; it grinned resplendently at him with its missing tooth, telling him it was all right to hope and noble to strive, but in the end it was doom alone which would count.
    She rolled him over to the window so the sun fell on him for the first time in weeks, and it seemed to him he could feel his pasty-white skin, dotted here and there with minor bedsores, murmur its pleasure and thanks. The windowpanes were edged on the inside with a tracery of frost, and when he held out his hand he could feel a bubble of cold like a dome around the window. The feel of it was both refreshing and somehow nostalgic, like a note from an old friend. For the first time in weeks - it felt like years - he was able to look at a geography different from that of his room with its unchanging verities - blue wallpaper, picture of the Arc de Triomphe, the long, long month of February symbolized by the boy sliding downhill on his sled (he thought that his mind would turn to that boy's face and stocking cap each time January became February, even if he lived to see that change of months another fifty times). He looked into this new world as eagerly as he had watched his first movie Bambi - as a child. The horizon was near; it always was in the Rockies, where longer views of the world were inevitably cut off by uptilted plates of bedrock. The sky was a perfect early-morning blue, innocent of clouds. A carpet of green forest climbed the flank of the nearest mountain. There were perhaps seventy acres of open ground between the house and the edge of the forest - the snow-cover over it was a perfect and blazing white. It was impossible to tell if the land beneath was tilled earth or open meadow. The view of this open square was interrupted by only one building: a neat red barn. When she spoke of her livestock or when he saw her trudging grimly past his window, breaking her breath with the impervious prow of her face, he had imagined a ramshackle outbuilding like an illustration from a child's book of ghost stories - rooftree bowed and sagging from years of snowweight, windows blank and dusty, some broken and blocked with pieces of cardboard, long double doors perhaps off their tracks and swaying outward. This neat and tidy structure with its dark-red paint and neat cream-colored trim looked like the five-car garage of a well-to-do country squire masquerading as a barn. In front of it stood a jeep Cherokee, maybe five years old but obviously well cared for. To one side stood a Fisher plow in a home-made wooden cradle. To attach the plow to the Jeep, she would only need to drive the Jeep carefully up to the cradle so that the hooks on the frame matched the catches on the plow, and throw the locking lever on the dashboard. The perfect vehicle for a woman who lived alone and had no neighbor she could call upon for help (except for those dirty-birdie Roydmans, of course, and Annie probably wouldn't take a plate of pork chops from them if she was dying of starvation). The driveway was neatly plowed, a testament to the fact that she did indeed use the blade, but he could not see the road - the house cut off the view. "I see you're admiring my barn, Paul." He looked around, startled. The quick and uncalculated movement awoke his pain from its doze. It snarled dully in what remained of his shins and in the bunched salt-dome that had replaced his left knee. It turned over, needling him from where it lay imprisoned in its cave of bones, and then fell lightly asleep again. She had food on a tray. Soft food, invalid food . . . but his stomach growled at the sight of it. As she crossed to him he saw that she was wearing white shoes with crepe soles. "Yes," he said. "It's very handsome." She put the board on the arms of the wheelchair and then put the tray on the board. She pulled a chair over beside him and sat down, watching him as he began to eat. "Fiddle-de-foof! Handsome is as handsome does, my mother always said. I keep it nice because if I didn't, the neighbors would yap. They are always looking for a way to get at me, or start a rumor about me. So I keep everything nice. Keeping up appearances is very, very important. As far as the barn goes, it really isn't much work, as long as you don't let things pile up. Keeping the snow from breaking in the roof is the oogiest part." The oogiest part, he thought. Save that one for the Annie Wilkes lexicon in your memoirs - if you ever get a chance to write your memoirs, that is. Along with dirty birdie and fiddle-de-foof and all the others which I'm sure will come up in time. "Two years ago I had Billy Haversham put heat-tapes in the roof. You throw a switch and they get hot and melt the ice. I won't need them much longer this winter, though see how it's melting on its own?" He had a forkful of egg halfway to his mouth. It stopped in midair as he looked out at the barn. There was a row of icicles along the cave. The tips of these icicles were dripping - dripping fast. Each drop sparkled as it fell onto a narrow canal of ice which lay at the base of the barn's side. "It's up to forty-five degrees and it's not even nine o'clock!" Annie was going on gaily as Paul imagined the rear bumper of his Camaro surfacing through the rotted snow for the sun to twinkle on. "Of course it won't last - we've got a hard snap or three ahead of us yet, and probably another big storm as well - but spring is coming, Paul, and my mother always used to say that the hope of spring is like the hope of heaven." He put his fork back down on the plate with the egg still on it. "Don't want that last bite? All done?" "All done," he agreed, and in his mind he saw the Roydmans driving up from Sidewinder, saw a bright arrow of light strike Mrs Roydman's face, making her wince and put a shielding hand up - What's down there, Ham? . . . Don't tell me I'm crazy, there's something down there! Reflection damn near burned m'eye out! Back up, I want to take another look. "Then I'll just take the tray," she said, "and you can get started." She favored him with a glance that was very warm. "I just can't tell you how excited I am, Paul." She went out, leaving him to sit in the wheelchair and look at the water running from the icicles which clung to the edge of the barn.
    "I'd like some different paper, if you could get it," he said when she came back to put the typewriter and paper on the board. "Different from this?" she asked, tapping the cellophane-wrapped package of Corrasable Bond. "But this is the most expensive of all! I asked when I went into the Paper Patch!" "Didn't your mother ever tell you that the most expensive is not always the best?" Annie's brow darkened. Her initial defensiveness had been replaced by indignation. Paul guessed her fury would follow. "No, she did not. What she told me, Mister Smart Guy, is that when you buy cheap, you get cheap." The climate inside her, he had come to discover, was like springtime in the Midwest. She was a woman full of tornadoes waiting to happen, and if he had been a farmer observing a sky which looked the way Annie's face looked right now, he would have at once gone to collect his family and herd them into the storm cellar. Her brow was too white. Her nostrils flared regularly, like the nostrils of an animal scenting fire. Her hands had begun to spring limberly open and then snatch closed again, catching air and squashing it. His need for her and his vulnerability to her screamed at him to back off, to placate her while there was still time if indeed there still was - as a tribe in one of -those Rider Haggard stories would have placated their goddess when she was angry, by making sacrifice to her effigy. But there was another part of him, more calculating and less cowed, which reminded him that he could not play the part of Scheherazade if he grew frightened and placatory whenever she stormed. If he did, she would storm all the more. If you didn't have something she badly wants, this part of him reasoned, she would have taken you to the hospital right away or killed you later on to protect herself from the Roydmans - because for Annie the world is full of Roydmans, for Annie they're lurking behind every bush. And if you don't bell this bitch right now, Paulie my boy, you may never be able to. She was beginning to breathe more rapidly, almost to hyperventilate; the rhythm of her clenching hands was likewise speeding up, and he knew that in a moment she would be beyond him. Gathering up the little courage he had left, trying desperately to summon exactly the right note of sharp and yet almost casual irritability, he said: "And you might as well stop that. Getting mad won't change a thing." She froze as if he had slapped her and looked at him, wounded. "Annie," he said patiently, "this is no big deal." "It's a trick," she said. "You don't want to write my book and so you're making up tricks not to start. I knew you would. Oh boy. But it's not going to work. It - " "That's silly," he said. "Did I say I wasn't going to start?" "No . . . no, but - " "That's right. Because I am. And if you come here and take a look at something, I'll show you what the problem is. Bring that Webster Pot with you, please." "The what?" "Little jar of pens and pencils, " he said. "On newspapers, they sometimes call them Webster Pots. After Daniel Webster." This was a lie he had made up on the spur of the moment, but it had the desired effect - she looked more confused than ever, lost in a specialists" world of which she had not the slightest knowledge. The confusion had diffused (and thus defused) her rage even more; he saw she now didn't even know if she had any right to be angry. She brought over the jar of pens and pencils and slammed them down on the board and he thought: Goddam! I won No - that wasn't right. Misery had won. But that isn't right, either. It was Scheherazade. Scheherazade won. "What?" she said grumpily. "Watch." He opened the package of Corrasable and took out a sheet He took a freshly sharpened pencil and drew a fine on the paper. Then he took a ballpoint pen and drew another line parallel to the first. Then he slid his thumb across the slightly waffled surface of the paper. Both lines blurred smudgily in the direction his thumb was travelling, the pencil-line slightly more than the one he had drawn with the pen. "See?" "So what?" "Ribbon-ink will blur, too," he said. "It doesn't blur a much as that pencil-line, but it's worse than the ballpoint-ink line." "Were you going to sit and rub every page with your thumb?" "Just the shift of the pages against each other will accomplish plenty of blurring over a period of weeks or ever days," he said, "and when a manuscript is in work, it get shifted around a lot. You're always hunting back through to find a name or a date. My God, Annie, one of the first thing you find out in this business is that editors hate reading manuscripts typed on Corrasable Bond almost as much a they hate hand-written manuscripts." "Don't call it that. I hate it when you call it that." He looked at her, honestly puzzled. "Call what what?" "When you pervert the talent God gave you by calling it a business. I hate that." "I'm sorry." "You ought to be," she said stonily. "You might as well call yourself a whore." No, Annie, he thought, suddenly filled with fury. I'm no whore. Fast Cars was about not being a whore. That's what killing that goddamned bitch Misery was about, now that I think about it. I was driving to the West Coast to celebrate my liberation from a state of whoredom. What you did was to pull me out of the wreck when I crashed my car and stick me back in the crib again. Two dollar straight up, four dollar I take you around the world. And every now and then I see a flicker in your eyes that tells me a part of you way back inside knows it too. A jury might let you off by reason of insanity, but not me, Annie. Not this kid. "A good point," he said. "Now, going back to the subject of the paper - " "I'll get you your cockadoodie paper," she said sullenly. "Just tell me what to get and I'll get it." "As long as you understand I'm on your side - " "Don't make me laugh. No one has been on my side since my mother died twenty years ago." "Believe what you want, then," he said. "If you're so insecure you can't believe I'm grateful to you for saving my life, that's your problem." He was watching her shrewdly, and again saw a flicker of uncertainty, of wanting to believe, in her eyes. Good. Very good. He looked at her with all the sincerity he could muster, and again in his mind he imagined shoving a chunk of glass into her throat, once and forever letting out the blood that serviced her crazy brain. "At least you should be able to believe that I am on the book's side. You spoke of binding it. I assume that you meant binding the manuscript? The typed pages?" "Of course that's what I meant." Yes, you bet. Because if you took the manuscript to a printer, it might raise questions. You may be naive about the world of books and publishing, but not that naive. Paul Sheldon is missing, and your printer might remember receiving a book-length manuscript concerning itself with Paul Sheldon's most famous character right around the time the man himself disappeared, mightn't he? And he'd certainly remember the instructions - instructions so queer any printer would remember them. One printed copy of a novel-length manuscript. Just one. "What did she look like, officer? Well, she was a big woman. Looked sort of like a stone idol in a H. Rider Haggard story. Just a minute, I've got her name and address here in the files . . . Just let me look up the carbons of the invoices . . . " "Nothing wrong with the idea, either," he said. "A bound manuscript can be damned handsome. Looks like a good folio edition. But a book should last a long time, Annie, and if I write this one on Corrasable, you're going to have nothing but a bunch of blank papers in ten years or so. Unless, of course, you just put it on the shelf." But she wouldn't want that, would she? Christ, no. She'd want to take it down every day, maybe every few hours. Take it down and gloat over it. An odd stony look had come onto her face. He did not like this mulishness, this almost ostentatious look of obduracy. It made him nervous. He could calculate her rage, but there was something in this new expression which was as opaque as it was childish. "You don't have to talk anymore," she said. "I already told you I'll get you your paper. What kind?" "In this business-supply store you go to - " "The Paper Patch." "Yes, the Paper Patch. You tell them you'd like two reams - a ream is a package of five hundred sheets - " "I know that. I'm not stupid, Paul." "I know you're not," he said, becoming more nervous still. The pain had begun to mutter up and down his legs again, and it was speaking even more -loudly from the area of his pelvis - he had been sitting up for nearly an hour, and the dislocation down there was complaining about it. Keep cool, for God's sake - don't lose everything you've gained! But have I gained anything? Or is it only wishful thinking? "Ask for two reams of white long-grain mimeo. Hammermill Bond is a good brand; so is Triad Modem. Two reams of mimeo will cost less than this one package of Corrasable, and it should be enough to do the whole job, write and rewrite." "I'll go right now," she said, getting up suddenly. He looked at her, alarmed, understanding that she meant to leave him without his medication again, and sitting up this time, as well. Sitting already hurt; the pain would be monstrous by the time she got back, even if she hurried. "You don't have to do that," he said, speaking fast. "The Corrasable is good enough to start with - after all, I'll have to rewrite anyway - " "Only a silly person would try to start a good work with a bad tool." She took the package of Corrasable Bond, then snatched the sheet with the two smudged lines and crumpled it into a ball. She tossed both into the wastebasket and turned back to him. That stony, obdurate look covered her face like a mask. Her eyes glittered like tarnished dimes. "I'm going to town now," she said. "I know you want to get started as soon as you can, since you're on my side - " she spoke these last words with intense, smoking sarcasm (and, Paul believed, more self-hate than she would ever know) "and so I'm not even going to take time to put you back in your bed." She smiled, a pulling of the lips that was grotesquely puppet-like, and slipped to his side in her silent white nurse" shoes. Her fingers touched his hair. He flinched. He tried not to but couldn't help it. Her dead-alive smile widened. "Although I suspect we may have to put off the actual start of Misery's Retum for a day . . . or two . . . perhaps even three. Yes, it may be as long as three days before you are able to sit up again. Because of the pain. Too bad. I had champagne chilling in the fridge. I'll have to put it back in the shed." "Annie, really, I can start if you'll just - " "No, Paul." She moved to the door and then turned, looking at him with that stony face. Only her eyes, those tarnished dimes, were fully alive under the shelf of her brow. "There is one thought I would like to leave you with. You may think you can fool me, or trick me; I know I look slow and stupid. But I am not stupid, Paul, and I am not slow." Suddenly her face broke apart. The stony obduracy shattered and what shone through was the countenance of an insanely angry child. For a moment Paul thought the extremity of his terror might kill him. Had he thought he had gained the upper hand? Had he? Could one possibly play Scheherazade when one's captor was insane? She rushed across the room at him, thick legs pumping, knees flexing, elbows chopping back and forth in the stale sickroom air like pistons. Her hair bounced and joggled around her face as it came loose from the bobby-pins that held it up. Now her passage was not silent; it was like the tread of Goliath striding into the Valley of Bones. The picture of the Arc de Triomphe cracked affrightedly on the wall. "Geeeee-yahhh!" she screamed, and brought her fist down on the bunched salt-dome that had been Paul Sheldon's left knee. He threw his head back and howled, veins standing out in his neck and on his forehead. Pain burst out from his knee and shrouded him, whitely radiant, in the center of a nova. She tore the typewriter off the board and slammed it down on the mantel, lifting its weight of dead metal as he might have lifted an empty cardboard box. "So you just sit there," she said, lips pulled back in that grinning rictus, "and you think about who is in charge here, and all the things I can do to hurt you if you behave badly or try to trick me. You sit there and you scream if you want to, because no one can hear you. No one stops here because they all know Annie Wilkes is crazy, they all know what she did, even if they did find me innocent." She walked back to the door and turned again, and he screamed again when she did, in anticipation of another bull-like charge, and that made her grin more widely. "I'll tell you something else," she said softly. "They think I got away with it, and they are right. Think about that, Paul, while I'm in town getting your cockadoodie paper." She left, slamming the bedroom door hard enough to shake the house. Then there was the click of the lock. He leaned back in the chair, shaking all over, trying not to shake because it hurt, not able to help it. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Again and again he saw her flying across the room, again and again he saw her bringing her fist down on the remains of his knee with all the force of an angry drunk hammering on an oak bar, again and again he was swallowed in that terrible blue-white nova of pain. "Please, God, please," he moaned as the Cherokee started outside with a bang and a roar. "Please, God, please - let me out of this or kill me . . . let me out of this or kill me." The roar of the engine faded off down the road and God did neither and he was left with his tears and the pain, which was now fully awake and raving through his body.
    He thought later that the world, in its unfailing perversity, would probably construe those things which he did next as acts of heroism. And he would probably let them - but in fact what he did was nothing more than a final staggering grab for self-preservation. Dimly he seemed to hear some madly enthusiastic sportscaster - Howard Cosell or Warner Wolf or perhaps that all-time crazy Johnny Most - describing the scene, as if his effort to get at her drug supply before the pain killed him was some strange sporting event - a trial substitution for Monday Night Football, perhaps. What would you call a sport like that, anyway? Run for the Dope? "I just cannot believe the guts this Sheldon kid is displaying today! the sportscaster in Paul Sheldon's head was enthusing. "I don't believe anyone in Annie Wilkes Stadium - or in the home viewing audience, for that matter - thought he had the sly-test chance of getting that wheelchair moving after the blow he took, but I believe . . . yes, it is! It's moving! Let's look at the replay!" Sweat ran down his forehead and stung his eyes. He licked a mixture of salt and tears off his lips. The shuddering would not stop. The pain was like the end of the world. He thought: There comes a point when the very discussion of pain becomes redundant. No one knows there is pain the size of this in the world. No one. It is like being possessed by demons. It was only the thought of the pills, the Novril that she kept somewhere in the house, which got him moving. The locked bedroom door . . . the possibility the dope might not be in the downstairs bathroom as he had surmised but hidden somewhere . . . the chance she might come back and catch him . . . these things mattered not at all, these things were only shadows behind the pain. He would deal with each problem as it came up or he would die. That was all. Moving caused the band of fire below his waist and in his legs to sink in deeper, cinching his legs like belts studded with hot, inward-pointing spikes. But the chair did move. Very slowly the chair began to move. He had managed about four feet before realizing he was going to do nothing more useful than roll the wheelchair past the door and into the far comer unless he could turn it. He grasped the right wheel, shuddering, (think of the pills, think of the relief of the pills) and bore down on it as hard as he could. Rubber squeaked minutely on the wooden floor, the cries of mice. He bore down, once strong and now flabby muscles quivering like jelly, lips peeling back from his gritted teeth, and the wheelchair slowly pivoted. He grasped both wheels and got the chair moving again. This time he rolled five feet before stopping to straighten himself out. Once he'd done it, he grayed out. He swam back to reality five minutes later, hearing the dim, goading voice of that sportscaster in his head: "He's trying to get going again! I just cannot be-leeve the guts of this Sheldon kid!" The front of his mind only knew about the pain; it was the back that directed his eyes. He saw it near the door and rolled over to it. He reached down, but the tips of his fingers stopped a clear three inches short of the floor, where one of the two or three bobby-pins that had fallen from her hair as she charged him lay. He bit his lip, unaware of the sweat running down his face and neck and darkening his pajama shirt. "I don't think he can get that pin, folks - it's been a fan-tas-tic effort, but I'm afraid this is where it all ends." Well, maybe not. He let himself slouch to the right in the wheelchair, at first trying to ignore the pain in his right side - pain that felt like an increasing bubble of pressure, something similar to a tooth impaction - and then giving way and screaming. As she said, there was no one to hear him anyway. The tips of his fingers still hung an inch from the floor, brushing back and forth just above the bobby-pin, and his right hip really felt as if it might simply explode outward in a squirt of some vile white bone-jelly. Oh God please please help me - He slumped farther in spite of the pain. His fingers brushed the pin but succeeded only in pushing it a quarter of an inch away. Paul slid down in the chair, still slumped to the right, and screamed again at the pain in his lower legs. His eyes were bulging, his mouth was open, his tongue straight down between his teeth like the pull on a window-shade. Little drops of spittle ran from its tip and spatted on the floor. He pinched the bobby-pin between his fingers . . . tweezed it . . . almost lost it . . . and then it was locked in his fist. Straightening up brought a fresh slough of pain, and when the act was accomplished he could do no more than sit and pant for awhile, his head tilted as far as the unc Compromising back of the wheelchair would allow, the bobby-pin lying on the board across the chair's arms. For awhile he was quite sure he was going to puke, but that passed. What are you doing? part of his mind scolded wearily after awhile. Are you waiting for the pain to go away? It won't. She's always quoting her mother, but your own mother had a few sayings, too, didn't she? Yes. She had. Sitting there, head thrown back, face shiny with sweat, hair plastered to his forehead, Paul spoke one of them aloud now, almost as an incantation: "There may be fairies, there may be elves, but God helps those who help themselves." Yeah. So stop waiting, Paulie - the only elf that's going to show up here is that all-time heavyweight, Annie Wilkes. He got moving again, rolling the wheelchair slowly across to the door. She had locked it, but he believed he might be able to unlock it. Tony Bonasaro, who was now only so many blackened flakes of ash, had been a car-thief. As part of his preparation for writing Fast Cars, Paul had studied the mechanics of car-thievery with a tough old ex-cop named Tom Twyford. Tom had shown him how to hot-wire an ignition, how to use the thin and limber strip of metal car-thieves called Slim Jims to yank the lock on a car door, how to short out a car burglar alarm. Or, Tom had said on a spring day in New York some two and a half years ago, let's say you don't want to steal a car at all. You got a car, but you're a little low on gas. You got a hose, but the car you pick for the free donation has got a locking gas-cap. Is this a problem? Not if you know what you're doing, because most gas-cap locks are strictly Mickey Mouse. All you really need is a bobby-pin. It took Paul five endless minutes of backing and filling to get the wheelchair exactly where he wanted it, with the left wheel almost touching the door. The keyhole was the old-fashioned sort, reminding Paul of John Tenniel's Alice in Wonderland drawings, set in the middle of a tarnished keyplate. He slid down a bit in the wheelchair - giving out a single barking groan - and looked through it. He could see a short hallway leading down to what was clearly the parlor: a dark-red rug on the floor, an old-fashioned divan upholstered in similar material, a lamp with tassels hanging from its shade. To his left, halfway down the hallway, was a door which stood ajar. Paul's pulsebeat quickened. That was almost surely the downstairs bathroom - he had heard her running enough water in there (including the time she had filled the floor-bucket from which he had enthusiastically drunk), and wasn't it also the place she always came from before giving him his medicine? He thought it was. He grasped the bobby-pin. It spilled out of his fingers onto the board and then skittered toward the edge. "No!" he cried hoarsely, and clapped a hand over it just before it could fall. He clasped it in one fist and then grayed out again. Although he had no way of telling for sure, he thought he was out longer this second time. The pain - except for the excruciating agony of his left knee - seemed to have abated a tiny bit. The bobby-pin was on the board across the arms of the wheelchair. This time he flexed the fingers of his right hand several times before picking it up. Now, he thought, unbending it and holding it in his right hand. You will not shake. Hold that thought. YOU WILL NOT SHAKE. He reached across his body with the pin and slipped it into the keyhole, listening as the sportscaster in his mind (so vivid!) described the action. Sweat ran steadily down his face like oil. He listened . . . but even more, he felt. The tumbler in a cheap lock is nothing but a rocker, Tom Twyford had said, seesawing his hand to demonstrate. You want to turn a rocking chair over? Easiest thing in the world, tight? Just grab the rockers and flip the mother right over . . . nothing to it. And that's all you got to do with a lock like this. Slide the tumbler up and then open the gas-cap quick, before it can snap back. He had the tumbler twice, but both times the bobby-pin slipped off and the tumbler snapped back before he could do more than begin to move it. The bobby-pin was starting to bend. He thought that it would break after another two or three tries. "Please God," he said, sliding it in again. "Please God, what do you say? Just a little break for the kid, that's all I'm asking." ("Folks, Sheldon has performed heroically today, but this has got to be his last shot. The crowd has fallen silent . . .") He closed his eyes, the sportscaster's voice fading as he listened avidly to the minute rattle of the pin in the lock. Now! Here was resistance! The tumbler! He could see it lying in there like the curved foot of a rocking chair, pressing the tongue of the lock, holding it in place, holding him in place. It's strictly Mickey Mouse, Paul. Just stay cool. When you hurt this badly, it was hard to stay cool. He grasped the doorknob with his left hand, reaching under his right arm to do it, and began to apply gentle pressure to the bobby-pin. A little more . . . a little more . . . In his mind he could see the rocker beginning to move in its dusty little alcove; he could see the lock's tongue begin to retract. No need for it to go all the way, good God, no - no need to overturn the rocking chair, to use Tom Twyford's metaphor. Just the instant it cleared the doorframe - a push - The pin was simultaneously starting to bend and slip. He felt it happening, and in desperation he pushed upward as hard as he could, turned the knob, and shoved at the door. There was a snap as the pin broke in two, the part in the lock falling in, and he had a dull moment to consider his failure before he saw that the door was slowly swinging open with the tongue of the lock sticking out of the plate like a steel finger. "Jesus," he whispered. "Jesus, thank you." Let's go to the videotape! Warner Wolf screamed exultantly in his mind as the thousands in Annie Wilkes Stadium - not to mention the untold millions watching at home - broke into thunderous cheers. "Not now, Warner," he croaked, and began the long, draining job of backing and filling the wheelchair so he could get a straight shot at the door.
    He had a bad - no, not just bad; terrible, horrible - moment when it seemed the wheelchair was not going to fit. It was no more than two inches too wide, but that was two inches too much. She brought it in collapsed, that's why you thought it was a shopping cart at first, his mind informed him drearily. In the end he was able to squeeze through - barely - by positioning himself squarely in the doorway and then leaning forward enough to grab the jambs of the door in his hands. The axle-caps of the wheels squalled against the wood, but he was able to get through. After he did, he grayed out again.
    He voice called him out of his daze. He opened his eyes and saw she was pointing a shotgun at him. Her eyes glittered furiously. Spit shone on her teeth. "If you want your freedom so badly, Paul," Annie said, "I'll be happy to grant it to you." She pulled back both hammers.
    He jerked, expecting the shotgun blast. But she wasn't there, of course; his mind had already recognized the dream. Not a dream - a warning. She could come back anytime. Anytime at all. The quality of the light fanning through the half-open bathroom door had changed, grown brighter. It looked like moonlight. He wished the clock would chime and tell him just how close to right he was, but the clock was obstinately silent. She stayed away fifty hours before. So she did. And she might stay away eighty this time. Or you might hear that Cherokee pulling in five seconds from now. In case you didn't know it, friend, the Weather Bureau can post tornado warnings, but when it comes to telling exactly when and where they'll touch down, they don't know fuck-all. "True enough," he said, and rolled the wheelchair down to the bathroom. Looking in, he saw an austere room floored with hexagonal white tiles. A bathtub with rusty fans spreading below the faucets stood on clawed feet. Beside it was a linen closet. Across from the tub was a sink. Over the sink was a medicine cabinet. The floor-bucket was in the tub - he could see its plastic top. The hall was wide enough for him to swing the chair around and face the door, but now his arms were trembling with exhaustion. He had been a puny kid and so he had tried to take reasonably good care of himself as an adult, but his muscles were now the muscles of an invalid and the puny kid was back, as if all that time spent doing laps and jogging and working out on the Nautilus machine had only been a dream. At least this doorway was wider - not much, but enough to make his passage less hair-raising. Paul bumped over the lintel, and then the chair's hard rubber wheels rolled smoothly over the tiles. He smelled something sour that he automatically associated with hospitals - Lysol, maybe. There was no toilet in here, but he had already suspected that - the only flushing sounds came from upstairs, and now that he thought of it, one of those upstairs flushes always followed his use of the bedpan. Here there was only the tub, the basin, and the linen closet with its door standing open. He gazed briefly at the neat piles of blue towels and washcloths - he was familiar with both from the sponge-baths she had given him - and then turned his attention to the medicine cabinet over the washstand. It was out of reach. No matter how much he strained, it was a good nine inches above the tips of his fingers. He could see this but reached anyway, unable to believe Fate or God or Whoever could be so cruel. He looked like an outfielder reaching desperately for a home-run ball he had absolutely no chance of catching. Paul made a wounded, baffled noise, lowered his hand, and then leaned back, panting. The gray cloud lowered. He willed it away and looked around for something he could use to open the medicine cabinet's door and saw an O-Cedar mop leaning stiffly in the corner on a long blue pole. You going to use that? Really? Well, I guess you could. Pry open the medicine cabinet door and then just knock a bunch of stuff out into the basin. But the bottles will break and even if there are no bottles, fat chance, everyone has at least a bottle of Listerine or Scope or something in their medicine cabinet, you have no way of putting back what you knock down. So when she comes back and sees the mess, what then? "I'll tell her it was Misery," he croaked. "I'll tell her she dropped by looking for a tonic to bring her back from the dead." Then he burst into tears . . . but even through the tears his eyes were conning the room, looking for something, anything, inspiration, a break, just a fucking br - He was looking into the linen closet again, and his rapid breath suddenly stopped. His eyes widened. His first cursory glance had taken in the shelves with their stacks of folded sheets and pillow-cases and washcloths and towels. Now he looked at the floor and on the floor were a number of square cardboard cartons. Some were labelled UPJOHN. Some were labelled LILY. Some were labelled CAM PHARMACEUTICALS. He turned the wheelchair roughly, hurting himself, not caring. Please God don't let it be her cache of extra shampoo or her tampons or pictures of her dear old sainted mother or - He fumbled for one of the boxes, dragged it out, and opened the flaps. No shampoo, no Avon samples. Far from it. There was a wild jumble of drugs in the carton, most of them in small boxes marked SAMPLES. At the bottom a few pills and capsules, different colors, rolled around loose. Some, like Motrim and Lopressor, the hypertension drug his father had taken during the last three years of his life, he knew. Others he had never heard of. "Novril," he muttered, raking wildly through the box while sweat ran down his face and his legs pounded and throbbed. "Novril, where's the fucking Novril?" No Novril. He pushed the flaps of the carton closed and shoved it back into the linen closet, making only a token effort to replace it in the same place it had been. Should be all right, the place looked like a goddam junk-heap - Leaning far to his left, he was able to snag a second carton. He opened it and was hardly able to credit what he was seeing. Darvon. Darvocet. Darvon Compound. Morphose and Morphose Complex. Librium. Valium. And Novril. Dozens and dozens and dozens of sample boxes. Lovely boxes. Dear boxes. O lovely dear sainted boxes. He clawed one open and saw - the capsules she gave him every six hours, enclosed in their little blisters. NOT TO BE DISPENSED WITHOUT PHYSICIAN'S PRESCRIPTION, the box said. "Oh dear Jesus, the doctor is in!" Paul sobbed. He tore the cellophane apart with his teeth and chewed up three of the capsules, barely aware of the bruisingly bitter taste. He halted, stared at the five that were left encased in their mutilated cellophane sheet, and gobbled a fourth. He looked around quickly, chin down on his breastbone, eyes crafty and frightened. Although he knew it was too soon to be feeling any relief, he did feel it - having the pills, it seemed, was even more important than taking the pills. It was as if he had been given control of the moon and the tides - or had just reached up and taken it. It was a huge thought, awesome . . . and yet also frightening, with undertones of guilt and blasphemy. If she comes back now - "All right - okay. I get the message." He looked into the carton, trying to calculate how many of the sample boxes he might be able to take without her realizing a little mouse named Paul Sheldon had been nibbling away at the supply. He giggled at this, a shrill, relieved sound, and he realized the medication wasn't just working on his legs. He had gotten his fix, if you wanted to be perfectly vulgar about it. Get moving, idiot. You have no time to enjoy being stoned. He took five of the boxes - a total of thirty capsules. He had to restrain himself from taking more. He stirred the remaining boxes and bottles around, hoping the result would look no more or less helter-skelter than it had when he first peered into the box. He refolded the flaps and slipped the box back into the linen closet. A car was coming. He straightened up, eyes wide. His hands dropped to the arms of the wheelchair and gripped them with panicky tightness. If it was Annie, he was screwed and that was the end of it. He would never be able to maneuver this balky, oversized thing back to the bedroom in time. Maybe he could whack her once with the O-Cedar mop or something before she wrung his neck like a chicken. He sat in the wheelchair with the sample boxes of Novril in his lap and his broken legs stuck stiffly out in front of him and waited for the car to pass or turn in. The sound swelled endlessly . . . then began to diminish. Okay. Do you need a more graphic warning, Paul-baby? As a matter of fact, he did not. He took a final glance at the cartons. They looked to him about as they had when he had first seen them - although he had been looking at them through a haze of pain and could not be completely sure but he knew that the piles of boxes might not be as random as they had looked, oh, not at all. She had the heightened awareness of the deep neurotic, and might have had the position of each box carefully memorized. She might take one casual glance in here and immediately realize in some arcane way what had happened. This knowledge did not bring fear but a sense of resignation - he had needed the medication, and he had somehow managed to escape his room and get it. If there were consequences, punishment, he could face them with at least the understanding that he could have done nothing but what he had done. And of all she had done to him, this resignation was surely a symptom of the worst - she had turned him into a pain-racked animal with no moral options at all. He slowly backed the wheelchair across the bathroom, glancing behind himself occasionally to make sure he wasn't wandering off-course. Before, such a movement would have made him scream with pain, but now the pain was disappearing under a beautiful glassiness. He rolled into the hall and then stopped as a terrible thought struck him: if the bathroom floor had been slightly damp, or even a bit dirty - He stared at it, and for a moment the idea that he must have left tracks on those clean white tiles was so persuasive that he actually saw them. He shook his head and looked again. No tracks. But the door was open farther than it had been. He rolled forward, swung the wheelchair slightly to the right so he could lean over and grab the knob, and pulled the door half-closed. He eyed it, then pulled it a bit closer to the jamb. There. That looked right. He was reaching for the wheels, meaning to pivot the chair so he could roll back to his room, when he realized he was pointed more or less toward the living room, and the living room was where most people kept their telephone and - Light bursting in his mind like a flare over a foggy meadow. "Hello, Sidewinder Police Station, Officer Humbuggy speaking." "Listen to me, Officer Humbuggy. Listen very carefully and don't interrupt, because I don't know how much time I have. My name is Paul Sheldon. I'm calling you from Annie Wilkes's house. I've been her prisoner here for at least two weeks, maybe as long as a month. I - " "Annie Wilkes!" "Get out here tight away. Send an ambulance. And for Christ's sake get here before she gets back . "Before she gets back," Paul moaned. "Oh yeah " Far out." What makes you think she even has a phone? Who have you ever heard her call? Who would she call? Her good friends the Roydmans? Just because she doesn't have anyone to chatter with all day doesn't mean she is incapable of understanding that accidents can happen; she could fall downstairs and break an arm or a leg, the barn might catch on fire - How many times have you heard this supposed telephone ring? So now there's a requirement? Your phone has to ring at least once a day or Mountain Bell comes and takes it out? Besides, I haven't even been conscious most of the time. You're pushing your luck. You're pushing your luck and you know it. Yes. He knew it, but the thought of that telephone, the imagined sensation of the cool black plastic under his fingers, the click of the rotary dial or the single booping sound as he touch-toned 0 - these were seductions too great to resist. He worked the wheelchair around until it was directly facing the parlor, and then he rolled down to it. The place smelled musty, unaired, obscurely tired. Although the curtains guarding the bow windows were only half-drawn, affording a lovely view of the mountains, the room seemed too dark - because its colors were too dark, he thought. Dark red predominated, as if someone had spilled a great deal of venous blood in here. Over the mantel was a tinted photograph portrait of a forbidding woman with tiny eyes buried in a fleshy face. The rosebud mouth was pursed. The photograph, enclosed in a rococo frame of gold gilt, was the size of the President's photograph in the lobby of a big-city post office. Paul did not need a notarised statement telegram to tell him that this was Annie's sainted mother. He rolled farther into the room. The left side of the wheelchair struck a small occasional table covered with ceramic gewgaws. They chattered together and one of them - a ceramic penguin sitting on a ceramic ice-block - fell off the side. Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed it. The gesture was almost casual . . . and then reaction set in. He held the penguin tightly in his curled fist, trying to will the shakes away. You caught it, no sweat, besides, there's a rug on the floor, probably wouldn't have broken anyway - But if it HAD! his mind screamed back. If it HAD! Please, you have to go back to your room before you leave something . . . a track . . . No. Not yet. Not yet, no matter how frightened he was. Because this had cost him too much. If there was a payoff, he was going to have it. He looked around the room, which was stuffed with heavy graceless furniture. It should have been dominated by the bow windows and the gorgeous view of the Rockies beyond them but was instead dominated by the picture of that fleshy woman imprisoned in the ghastly glaring frame with its twists and curlicues and frozen gilded swags. On a table at the far end of the couch, where she would sit to watch TV, was a plain dialer telephone. Gently, hardly daring to breathe, he put the ceramic penguin (NOW MY TALE IS TOLD! the legend on the block of ice read) back on the knickknack table and rolled across the room toward the phone. There was an occasional table in front of the sofa; he gave it a wide berth. On it was a spray of dried flowers in an ugly green vase, and the whole thing looked topheavy, ready to tip over if he so much as brushed it. No cars coming outside - only the sound of the wind. He grasped the handset of the phone in one hand and slowly picked it up. A queer predestinate sense of failure filled his mind even before he got the handset to his ear and heard the nothing. He replaced the receiver slowly, a line from an old Roger Miller song occurring to him and seeming to make a certain senseless sense: No phone, no pool, no pets . . . I ain't got no cigarettes. . . He traced the phone cord with his eye, saw the small square module on the baseboard, saw that the jack was plugged into it. Everything looked in perfect working order. Like the barn, with its heat-tapes. Keeping up appearances is very, very important. He closed his eyes and saw Annie removing the jack and squeezing Elmer's Glue into the hole in the module. Saw her replacing the jack in the dead-white glue, where it would harden and freeze forever. The phone company would have no idea that anything was wrong unless someone attempted to call her and reported the line out of service, but no one called Annie, did they? She would receive regular monthly bills on her dead line and she would pay them promptly, but the phone was only stage dressing, part of her never-ending battle to keep up appearances, like the neat barn with its fresh red paint and cream trim and heat-tapes to melt the winter ice. Had she castrated the phone in case of just such an expedition as this? Had she foreseen the possibility that he might get out of the room? He doubted it. The phone - the working phone - would have gotten on her nerves long before he came. She would have lain awake at night, looking up at the ceiling of her bedroom, listening to the high-country whine of the wind, imagining the people who must be thinking of her with either dislike or outright malevolence - all the world's Roydmans - people who might, any of them, at any time, take a notion to call her on the telephone and scream: You did it, Annie! They took you all the way to Denver, and we know you did it! They don't take you all the way to Denver if you're innocent! She would have asked for and gotten an unlisted number, of course - anyone tried for and acquitted of some major crime (and if it had been Denver, it had been major) would have done that - but even an unlisted number would not comfort a deep neurotic like Annie Wilkes for long. They were all in league against her, they could get the number if they wanted, probably the lawyers who had been against her would be glad to pass it out to anyone who asked for it, and people would ask, oh yes - for she would see the world as a dark place full of moving human masses like seas, a malevolent universe surrounding a single small stage upon which a single savagely bright pinspot illuminated . . . only her. So best to eradicate the phone, silence it, as she would silence him if she knew he had gotten even this far. Panic burst shrilly up in his mind, telling him that he had to get out of here and back into his room, hide the pills somewhere, return to his place by the window so that when she returned she would see no difference, no difference at all, and this time he agreed with the voice. He agreed wholeheartedly. He backed carefully away from the phone, and when he gained the room's one reasonably clear area, he began the laborious job of turning the wheelchair around, careful not to bump the occasional table as he did so. He had nearly finished the turn when he heard an approaching car and knew, simply knew it was her, returning from town.
    He nearly fainted, in the grip of the greatest terror he had ever known, a terror that was filled with deep and unmanning guilt. He suddenly remembered the only incident in his life that came remotely close to this one in its desperate emotional quality. He had been twelve. It was summer vacation, his father working, his mother gone to spend the day in Boston with Mrs Kaspbrak from across the street. He had seen a pack of her cigarettes and had lit one of them. He smoked it enthusiastically, feeling both sick and fine, feeling the way he imagined robbers must feel when they stick up banks. Halfway through the cigarette, the room filled with smoke, he had heard her opening the front door. "Paulie? It's me I've forgotten my purse!" He had begun to wave madly at the smoke, knowing it would do no good, knowing he was caught, knowing he would be spanked. It would be more than a spanking this time. He remembered the dream he'd had during one of his gray-outs: Annie cocking the shotgun's twin triggers and saying If you want your freedom so badly, Paul, I'll be happy to grant it to you. The sound of the engine began to drop as the approaching car slowed down. It was her. Paul settled hands he could barely feel on the wheels and rolled the chair toward the hallway, sparing one glance at the ceramic penguin on its block of ice. Was it in the same place it had been? He couldn't tell. He would have to hope. He rolled down the hall toward the bedroom door, gaining speed. He hoped to shoot right through, but his aim was a little off. Only a little . . . but the fit was so tight that a little was enough. The wheelchair thumped against the right side of the doorway and bounced back a little. Did you chip the paint? his mind screamed at him. Oh Jesus Christ, did you chip the paint, did you leave a track? No chip. There was a small dent but no chip. Thank God. He backed and filled frantically, trying to navigate the fineness of the doorway's tight fit. The car motor swelled, nearing, still slowing. Now he could hear the crunch of its snow tires. Easy . . . easy does it . . . He rolled forward and then the hubs of the wheels stuck solid against the sides of the bedroom door. He pushed harder, knowing it wasn't going to do any good, he was stuck in the doorway like a cork in a wine-bottle, unable to go either way - He gave one final heave, the muscles in his arms quivering like overtuned violin strings, and the wheelchair passed through with that same low squealing noise. The Cherokee turned into the driveway. She'll have packages, his mind gibbered, the typewriter paper, maybe a few other things as well, and she'll be careful coming up the walk because of the ice, you're in here now, the worst is over, there's time, still time . . . He rolled farther into the room, then turned in a clumsy semicircle. As he rolled the wheelchair parallel to the open bedroom door, he heard the Cherokee's engine shut off. He leaned over, grasped the doorknob, and tried to pull the door shut. The tongue of the lock, still stuck out like a stiff steel finger, bumped the jamb. He pushed it with the ball of his thumb. It began to move . . . then stopped. Stopped dead, refusing to let the door close. He stared at it stupidly for a moment, thinking of that old Navy maxim: Whatever CAN go wrong WILL go wrong. Please God, no more, wasn't it enough she killed the phone? He let go of the tongue. It sprang all the way out again. He pushed it in again and encountered the same obstruction. Inside the guts of the lock he heard an odd rattling and understood. It was the part of the bobby-pin which had broken off. It had fallen in some way that was keeping the lock's tongue from retracting completely. He heard the Cherokee's door open. He even heard her grunt as she got out. He heard the rattle of paper bags as she gathered up her parcels. "Come on," he whispered, and began to chivvy the tongue gently back and forth. It went in perhaps a sixteenth of an inch each time and then stopped. He could hear the goddam bobby-pin rattling inside there. "Come on . . . come on . . . come on . . . " He was crying again and unaware of it, sweat and tears mingling freely on his cheeks; he was vaguely aware that he was still in great pain despite all the dope he had swallowed, that he was going to pay a high price for this little piece of work. Not so high as the one she'll make you pay if you can't get this goddam door closed again, Paulie. He heard her crunching, cautious footsteps as she made her way up the path. The rattle of bags . . . and now the rattle of her housekeys as she took them from her purse. "Come on . . . come on . . . come on . . . " This time when he pushed the tongue there was a flat click from inside the lock and the jut of metal slid a quarter of an inch into the door. Not enough to clear the jamb . . . but almost. "Please . . . come on . . . " He began to chivvy the tongue faster, diddling it, listening as she opened the kitchen door. Then, like a hideous flashback to that day when his mother had caught him smoking, Annie called cheerily: "Paul? It's me! I've got your paper!" Caught! I'm caught! Please God, no God, don't let her hurt me God - His thumb pressed convulsively tight against the tongue of the lock, and there was a muffled snap as the bobby-pin broke. The tongue slid all the way into the door. In the kitchen he heard a zipper-rasp as she opened her parka. He closed the bedroom door. The click of the latch (did she hear that? must have must have heard that!) sounded as loud as a track-starter's gun. He backed the wheelchair up toward the window. He was still backing and filling as her footsteps began to come down the hallway. "I've got your paper, Paul! Are you awake?" Never . . . never in time . . . She'll hear . . . He gave the guide-lever a final wrench and rolled the wheelchair into place beside the window just as her key rattled in the lock. It won't work . . . the bobby-pin . . . and she'll be suspicious . . . But the piece of alien metal must have fallen all the way to the bottom of the lock, because her key worked perfectly. He sat in his chair, eyes half-closed, hoping madly that he had gotten the chair back where it had been (or at least close enough to it so she wouldn't notice), hoping that she would take his sweat-drenched face and quivering body simply as reactions to missing his medication, hoping most of all that he hadn't left a track - It was as the door swung open that he looked, down and saw that by looking for individual tracks with such agonized concentration, he had ignored a whole buffalo run: the boxes of Novril were still in his lap.
    She had two packages of paper, and she held one up in each hand, smiling. "Just what you asked for, isn't it? Triad Modem. Two reams here, and I have two more in the kitchen, just in case. So you see - " She broke off, frowning, looking at him. "You're dripping with sweat . . . and your color is very hectic." She paused. "What have you been doing?" And although that set the panicky little voice of his lesser self to squealing again that he was caught and might as well give it up, might as well confess and hope for her mercy, he managed to meet her suspicious gaze with an ironic weariness. "I think you know what I've been doing," he said. "I've been suffering." From the pocket of her skirt she took a Kleenex and wiped his brow. The Kleenex came away wet. She smiled at him with that terrible bogus maternity. "Has it been very bad?" "Yes. Yes, it has. Now can I - " "I told you about making me mad. Live and learn, isn't that what they say? Well, if you live, I guess you'll learn." "Can I have my pills now?" "In a minute," she said. Her eyes never left his sweaty face, its waxy pallor and red rashlike blotches. "First I want to make sure there's nothing else you want. Nothing else stupid old Annie Wilkes forgot because she doesn't know how a Mister Smart Guy goes about writing a book. I want to make sure you don't want me to go back to town and get you a tape recorder, or maybe a special pair of writing slippers, or something like that. Because if you want me to, I'll go. Your wish is my command. I won't even wait to give you your pills. I'll hop right into Old Bessie again and go. So what do you say, Mister Smart Guy? You all set?" "I'm all set," he said. "Annie, please - " "And you won't make me mad anymore?" "No. I won't make you mad anymore." "Because when I get mad I'm not really myself." Her eyes dropped. She was looking down to where his hands were cupped tightly together over the sample boxes of Novril. She looked for a very long time. "Paul?" she asked softly. "Paul, why are you holding your hands like that?" He began to cry. It was guilt he cried from, and he hated that most of all: in addition to everything else that this monstrous woman had done to him, she had made him feel guilty as well. So he cried from guilt . . . but also from simple childish weariness. He looked up at her, tears flowing down his cheeks, and played the absolute last card in his hand. "I want my pills," he said, "and I want the urinal. I held it all the time you were gone, Annie, but I can't hold it much longer, and I don't want to wet myself again." She smiled softly, radiantly, and pushed his tumbled hair off his brow. "You poor dear. Annie has put you through a lot, hasn't she? Too much! Mean old Annie! I'll get it right away."
    He wouldn't have dared put the pills under the rug even if he thought he had time to do so before she came back - the packages were small, but the bulges would still be all too obvious. As he heard her go into the downstairs bathroom, he took them, reached painfully around his body, and stuffed them into the back of his underpants. Sharp cardboard corners poked into the cleft of his buttocks. She came back with the urinal, an old-fashioned tin device that looked absurdly like a blow-dryer, in one hand. She had two Novril capsules and a glass of water in the other. Two more of those on top of the ones you took half an hour ago may drop you into a coma and then kill you, he thought, and a second voice answered at once: Fine with me. He took the pills and swallowed them with water. She held out the urinal. "Do you need help?" "I can do it," he said. She turned considerately away while he fumbled his penis into the cold tube and urinated. He happened to he looking at her when the hollow splashing sounds commenced, and he saw that she was smiling. "All done?" she asked a few moments later. "Yes." He actually had needed to urinate quite badly - in all the excitement he hadn't had time to think of such things. She took the urinal away from him and set it carefully on the floor. "Now let's get you back in bed," she said. "You must be exhausted . . . and your legs must be singing grand opera." He nodded, although the truth was that he could not feel anything - this medication on top of what he'd already given himself was rolling him toward unconsciousness at an alarming rate, and he was beginning to see the room through gauzy layers of gray. He held onto one thought - she was going to lift him into bed, and when she did that she would have to be blind as well as numb not to notice that the back of his underwear happened to be stuffed with little boxes. She got him over to the side of the bed. "Just a minute longer, Paul, and you can take a snooze." "Annie, could you wait five minutes?" he managed. She looked at him, gaze narrowing slightly. "I thought you were in a lot of pain, buster." "I am," he said. "It hurts . . . too much. My knee, mostly. Where you . . . uh, where you lost your temper. I'm not ready to be picked up. Could I have five minutes to . . . to . . . " He knew what he wanted to say but it was drifting away from him. Drifting away and into the gray. He looked at her helplessly, knowing he was going to be caught after all. "To let the medication work?" she asked, and he nodded gratefully. "Of course. I'll just put a few things away and come right back." As soon as she was out of the room he was reaching behind him, bringing out the boxes and stuffing them under the mattress one by one. The layers of gauze kept thickening, moving steadily from gray toward black. Get them as far under as you can, he thought blindly. Make sure you do that so if she changes the bed she won't pull them out with the ground sheet. Get them as far under as you . . . you . . . He shoved the last under the mattress, then leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, where the W's danced drunkenly across the plaster. Africa, he thought. Now I must rinse, he thought. Oh, I am in so much trouble here, he thought. Tracks, he thought. Did I leave tracks? Did I - Paul Sheldon got scared, so he said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air". I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said 'FRESH' and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
     
  13. #13 Highbinder, Oct 25, 2009

    LOL! I don't think I've seen such epicness before..
     
  14. #14 Floydian, Oct 25, 2009
    Is anyone else thoroughly confused by this thread?
     
  15. #15 _420, Oct 25, 2009
    I'll read it one day, but not right now. +rep for taking the time to write it.
     
  16. #16 jack herra, Oct 25, 2009
    whats going on man:confused::confused::confused::confused:
     
  17. #17 Highbinder, Oct 25, 2009

    A bit of late night copy pasta, I believe :confused:
     
  18. #18 jack herra, Oct 25, 2009
    i guess so,seemed pretty interesting in the first paragraph,then when i started scrolling down,then scrolled down some more the benzos in my body told me i was to lazy to read that all/
     
  19. #19 stealthgrower, Oct 25, 2009
    WOW
    that was possibly the most amazing thing i have ever read in my life.

    i am going to print this out and share it with everyone i know.
     
  20. #20 Elechronic, Oct 25, 2009
    I didn't read The Great Gatsby when I was supposed to in 10th grade and I sure as hell aren't going to read it now ;)
     
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