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My brother killed himself..


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#1
MihoSayuri

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Yes, I'm serious.

My mom is so devastated.
I don't know how to console her.

I don't even know what to do myself.
I haven't cried.
At first, I think I was in shock and just wanted to be strong for my mom.
Now, I think it's starting to hit, and I feel like crying.
I just don't want my mom to see it.

I feel like I should feel worse.
It's just, he's put our lives through so much hell.
He's threatened our lives.
And part of me just hates him for doing this to my mom.

I hated the fucking kid for doing what he did to us..
but he was my brother and I never wanted him to die..


please, anyone, I need to talk.
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#2
ipack

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Anytime someone leaves this world suddenly by their own hand, it's very shocking and sad. My personal opinion about suicide is that it's the most selfish thing one can do in this life, but that's not a big help i know...

You're not gonna be able to be strong for long, and if you need to go somewhere and cry your eyes out.. you should do it.. let all your emotions out..

I'm so sorry for your loss.. words from a stranger online seem sort of hollow in this case, but just know that I'm thinkin about you and your family

#3
LauraJadeth

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#4
lyo616

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At first its shock an just a calm vibe where your brain is stuck on nothing.

Then you relax, and one gets sad and really man just let it out.

No shame in it, I know men with tattoos gang affiliations and big strong builds.....and shit they do it, I do it, everyone does.

Be their for your mom, get some reefer, just be ready to help handle the tasks at hand and stand by your mom.

Stay strong, I know what you are facing, nothing wrong with crying homeboy.

#5
ipack

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nothing wrong with crying homegirl.


true statement.. fixed the gender :)

#6
blueend

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uuhh...
I'm so sorry for your loss..

when someone in your family dies its shocking,a suicide even more..

I trully hope you all find the strengh to get through this ,the pain must feel hopeless and intolerable..
but you will be amazed by how much pain person can stand..you just have to live it first to let it go..
if you want to cry him do it....it is a terrible thing and you should let your feelings come out...
your mum will be very hard to console.she lost a child.. just show her you are there for her.but dont let your feelings inside...
time cures sweetie.it is a shockin loss but one day it wont pain so harsh..

i might didnt help much but if you need someone to ever talk ,pm me..

again Im really sorry.. i wish for the best for you and your family...

#7
GrandaddyPurps

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RIP to your brother

iv never had a close family kill themselves so i cant really relate but try to feel better

#8
SourDieselChick

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#9
rippin-tubes

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im very sorry for your loss, i agree that keeping everything inside is not a good idea if you need to be alone when you let it out fine, but do it. be strong for your mom she needs you now. again im very sorry

#10
KamelRedLight

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Miho, don't hold it in. It's perfectly fine to show your mom that this devastates you too, but as hard as it will be just try not to let it totally ruin your life. That's the strongest anyone should ask you to be. I'm so sorry, and good luck, mine and everyone else's thoughts are with you.

#11
varyberry

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Sorry for your loss

Suicidal people sometimes do bad things so people they love aren't as hurt. He wanted you to hate him because he loved you and didn't want you to miss him.

Sometimes the only thing that kept me alive was the pain from hurting people that love me. It feels like you're trapped, forced to suffer and start hating those that care about you.

Just know that he was most likely feeling this way for a long time and it was his decision. He's no longer suffering and wouldn't want you to suffer for a second about what he wanted to do.

#12
powrd

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That's horrible.. hope you and your mom can hang in there.

If you don't mind me askin', how old was your brother?

#13
Guest_Ba1lz420_*

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Hit me up on aim if you need to talk

#14
Guest_weedandbombs_*

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i'm so sad to hear that :( Time heals though, you'll go through a lot over the next long while... stages of mourning, etc...

I hope your family and friends are there to support you to help you through it and vice versa...

#15
RMJL

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#16
Deutschbag

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#17
Chris420MIA

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My condolences are with you man and I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through but know we are praying for you. Try to stay strong for your mom but also be strong for yourself and CRY man, let it all out.

#18
Storm Crow

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Hon, my Mom suicided. It wasn't unexpected, but damn it hurt! I'm past the age she was when she died- and I still miss her even though she was a bipolar nightmare. Go ahead and cry with Mom. Right now, you being"strong" isn't what Mom needs. She needs you just as you are- her child, tears and all. Don't "hold it in"! If possible, don't let her turn to alcohol- it can lead to some ugly scenes later. Cannabis is better for dealing with grief than booze.

Her emotions are going to be all over the place ( just like yours). She IS going to blame herself- your "job" is just to reassure and love her. She may get over-protective of you, later. There are grief support groups- even my tiny backwater town has a special group for parents who have lost a child. Urge Mom to get in touch with them. They will help her, and you, get through this.


Remember that you have a "second family" here, and we'll be here for you, day or night.


I wish there was more I could do for you. All I can say is that the pain will lessen with time.


(Hugs)
Granny

Edited by Storm Crow, 27 August 2008 - 02:50 PM.

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#19
Stonedgobln420

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I'm very sorry for your loss sweetie. I know there really isn't anything that can take that pain away, but time and grieving and letting the tears out can lessen it. Just know that a lot of people here are thinking about you and are here for you.

*Be strong, but cry if you feel the need to*

*HUGS*

#20
Medicine Al

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Remember the 5 stages of grief, your going to be put through a lot of different feelings. Sounds like you are still at anger, I think that is first stage.

Nothing can replace a child, in the eyes of the mother, or sister, and I hope that you remember all the good, along with the pain, that your brother created.

I have lost several friends and a couple of relatives to self termination, and as much as it hurts, this was their choice. Nothing you could do would change their mind.

Peace to you and your family, especially your mom. Love surrounds you.




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