My Thoughts On Life

[bongtroc1ty]

Just some thoughts I have. I know I am being used by multiple people at this point in time, and I am ready to leave in a figurative sense. I guess I will say goodbye now, because I'm not going to be normal anymore (just a heads up)...

The world and all of its people;
The people and all of their possessions;
I long for the day I run from everything.
No more problems polluting my brain;
No more people telling me how to act;
Running away is rather easy for me to do;
I am under no control,
Yet I am under all control.
I just don't feel like talking anymore;
Using words invented to describe things that were invented.
Fucking pointless, and I am sick of all of it.
Society is the most cruel thing you can endure;
It hurts when society kicks you to the ground;
I have gotten off the ground many times before;
Only to get pushed back into the dirt.
This time I will get up;
But I will surprise society and I won't be there.
I want to escape this hell,
I can not be trapped in a sane mind.
I feel like I have to be mentally insane to know myself,
Because I don't know who I am,
19 years of analysis,
I still don't know.
Looking back on my life it hasn't been very productive,
Slowly wasting myself away anyway I can,
And it disgusts me,
But it is the only way I feel normal,
But the guilt is so strong that it is hard to hold back emotions.
I feel invisible now,
I want to slowly fade out,
And say goodbye to all of this.