Fuck Life

[kspahr]

Alright so I have OCD and bi-polar, which leads to anger management problems and severe depression. I don't usually take out my anger on other people, but I've destroyed a lot of my possessions and if I don't let it out I just get more depressed.

I have tried to kill myself a few times before, but other than all these issues, I seem to be a pretty normal kid. I am an 18 y/o HS senior. I am a pretty good athlete and a good student and I get along with people pretty well. However, I am really depressed. A few years ago, I started smoking. It worked really well. For once in my life I wasn't depressed and was happy and at peace of mind.

However, my parents then found my stash and called the cops. My parents are pricks, I know. So now I am on diversion and get drug tested. I have already failed one after testing clean. I do not know what to do. Ever since I stopped smoking, I get so depressed and cannot deal with it like I used to.

I mean, I don't like to depend on drugs, but MJ just made me so happy and I didn't abuse it and it had no negative effects on me and then it gets all fucked up. Now I think about suicide all the time.

I don't understand.

Life's a bitch and then we die, that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go.

[PJV575]

I know what you mean about MJ helping with depression, but you really need to talk to a psychiatrist and get proper (legal) medication for bi-polar disorder, it is nothing to mess around with.

Talk to your parents about it. Maybe they just don't understand your situation because you've never sat down and explained it to them.

[bloody79O]

yeah man, go get a prescription bi-polar med. It will help with your depression too.

[kspahr]

none of the prescriptions have seemed to work. i am going to see if they will give me xanax. it worked well for me once but i didn't have a prescription.

[xcraighebert]

To be honest, it sounds like you used weed to escape your problems,
not solve them. Trust me, im not being a typical internet asshole, I've
went through a lot of problems you are currently going through. You should
let your parents know you are depressed, if not your parents, let someone
know, have someone you can talk to about whats going on in your life.
Trust me, it makes a huge difference. If you want to still get high,
id recommend, trying a product called spice gold, it gets you just
as high as weed does, it is an indica high, but it dosent show up on
drug tests because everything in it is legal. If you dont want to take
my word for it, look up some testimonials, you will find almost everyone
gives it good reviews, its the only legal high ive ever tried that works.
hope this helps you out

[varyouga]

Sorry dude. I've lost a few good friends and family members due to my medical use. If you really believe it helps you even if that happens, you must move on.

I know people so blinded by government propoganda that they won't even talk to me just for using MJ. People that I've known for 10-20 years since we were kids and I never did anything bad to.

You gotta survive the testing and be more careful. Just try to remember how good it felt to keep you going.

**One Warning** Beware of slight withdrawal if you use MJ for depression and stop abruptly. It is best to taper off slowly. I measure my doses with a scale and taper off a week before I can't use it for whatever reason. This is still WAY better than the withdrawal and permanent mild alteration from antidepressants. And you won't go postal on weed.