An ode to the nice guys

[ackrite]

Didn't write this btw




This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

[DirtyPete]

Too bad females are retarded.

Edit: Wouldn't want to offend those retards.

[enevitable]

Originally Posted by DirtyPete

Too bad females are retarted.

Too bad retarded has two d's

[chicken]

Originally Posted by enevitable

Too bad retarded has two d's

im throwing in the penalty flag on that one ^^^^^^

[DirtyPete]

Originally Posted by enevitable

Too bad retarded has two d's

Thanks for the tip buddy, wanna give me english lessons sometime?

[Highbinder]

Retarted is quite a good word, I'ma gonna have to remember that one!

[enevitable]

Originally Posted by DirtyPete

Thanks for the tip buddy, wanna give me english lessons sometime?

I guess you were too retarded to get it?


har har all these play on words are really killing me.

[negligent]

yup, i used to be one of those nice guys, now i'm a dick to most girls (the very few i come in contact with).... (and it hasnt got me laid anymore than being nice)

because face it, those bitches dont deserve any respect or to be treated nice, dont waste kindness on a pretty face, but rather a beautiful soul, and even then most of that kindness is wasted anyway

it just doesnt pay to be nice to anyone anymore, in this day n age you gotta just be an asshole, cuz thats how everyone else acts

[chicken]

after reading ,,, dirty pete, and enivetables post's..



i forgot what the thread was about ???

[chicken]

Originally Posted by DirtyPete

It's weak and it makes you look like a dick.

.

us dicks need to stick toghter,,, were a minority,

[negligent]

Originally Posted by DirtyPete

it makes you look like a dick.

everyone already knows enevitable is a dick, so it doesnt make him look like one at all, it just simply supports his personality

[ackrite]

Originally Posted by DirtyPete

Well I'm assuming by "get it" you mean the fact that mispelling the word "retarded" somehow puts me on par with the mentally handicapped. There's not really much to get there, I misTYPED a word. It's not a clever or funny insinuation. It's weak and it makes you look like a dick.

Anyway, fuck all that shit, I apologise to the OP for derailing the thread.

np, yo

[DirtyPete]

Sorry enevitable, I'm in a pissy mood today and sometimes I vent my anger in the wrong place.

Word, well now I gotta add something constructive to the thread.

Part of the reason I'm having PMS lately is because this chick that I was starting to get close to all of a sudden stops answering my phone calls and txt messages, and is basically acting like I don't exist.

The fucked up thing is she was after me hardcore like a month ago, callin me all the time and shit. Now that I start to take interest in her she fuckin shuts herself off from me.

I don't know if she's playing games or if she's just being a whore but it pisses me off.

At least fucking reply to a message saying you don't wanna hang out, don't just blatently ignore me.

And thus my friends, girls are retarted.

[Astrovan]

Heh, I appreciated it. Unfortunately I fit the description pretty well, I hear how nice I am and how I'd be such a great boyfriend, and then watch the same people who say that turn me down to go sleep with some sleez.

Sex brings out the worst in people, honestly.

[enevitable]

Originally Posted by DirtyPete

Sorry enevitable, I'm in a pissy mood today and sometimes I vent my anger in the wrong place.

Word, well now I gotta add something constructive to the thread.

Part of the reason I'm having PMS lately is because this chick that I was starting to get close to all of a sudden stops answering my phone calls and txt messages, and is basically acting like I don't exist.

The fucked up thing is she was after me hardcore like a month ago, callin me all the time and shit. Now that I start to take interest in her she fuckin shuts herself off from me.

I don't know if she's playing games or if she's just being a whore but it pisses me off.

At least fucking reply to a message saying you don't wanna hang out, don't just blatently ignore me.

And thus my friends, girls are retarted.

Well shit I didn't mean for the thread to get derailed, but I think you take shit too seriously.

All I said was too bad retarded has two d's which was tongue in cheek humor

What I was trying to get at was that retarded always has two d's unlike all girls. Get it?

Shit now that I explained it its probably not funny at all. I try to never correct someone's spelling unless it is seriously wrong, because I too hate grammar police. All I was trying to do was make an innocent joke that involved cleavage

and to negligent:

everyone already knows enevitable is a dick, so it doesn't make him look like one at all, it just simply supports his personality

Thanks, I too know I'm a dick.

When people say really really stupid shit I have to point it out, and therefore I come out looking like an ass. But you know what, I'd rather look like an ass then pretend like nothing happens, someone has to point out the stupid shit people say and I can't stand sitting idle twiddling my thumbs while that goes on.