Do you look down upon your teen years? Plus some very important things I have learned

[LiftedOne86]

Hey yall a fellow poster gave me an idea to start a thread about your teen years and what you learned/regret. As I began to write it became so much more and I can honestly say this is the greatest thing I have ever written in my entire life. If you have the time I think you should read through this entirely as it relates not only to growing up, mistakes I made and lessons I learned so you dont have to , but also what I have learned about life and how to become a better human being. The following is almost like my life story. Its all I have learned about this crazy world and I feel the need to share it with you guys. This turned out really long but I think it could really help people who went through similar situations as well as those starting to wonder is there something more to this life......

I mentioned in my post about DXM how much I have changed in the last few years, so much so I can honestly say I am the complete opposite of who I used to be. Ive had probaly about 3 or 4 periods in my life where I either learned a great deal about myself or life as a whole. I think back to where I first started to turn into a little asshole and its kind of disturbing to me now. I moved to a new school in the 5th grade and started to make friends fairly quickly. Now the most popular kid in the school was (to this day) one of the meanest kids I have ever met in my life! He never, ever had a heart or knew what compassion was. Everybody for some reason, including me, longed to be his friend. Its strange but looking back I see how much being accepted was important to me. I used to cry my eyes out unless my mom promised to buy me 500 dollars worth of new clothes every school year (strange considering we never had much money.....)! I wouldnt be caught dead wearing clothes from last year where as now I keep jeans, shoes and shirts for years at a time.

Now I know this is about your teen years but this I believe serves a good set up for who I would become in the next couple years. So I find myself, in my new school becoming one of the most popular kids. My idea of fun was mercilessly harrassing and hurting anyone I felt like. I had no compassion whatsoever. I talked behind peoples backs, betrayed many all for the sake of gossip. I was disgusting! Now this continued into the sixth grade where I soon found myself trying to date as many girls as possible. That year I had something like 12 girlfriends (I prolly only kissed two ) but this would turn my world upside down. Pretty soon everybody got pretty sick of me, the girls of my seemingly carelessness about their feelings, and the guys cause I was not what you would call trustworthy. Now anybody who was anybody back then was a mean little shit but I guess I crossed the line. Half way through the next year I found myself with not even ONE friend.

Now for the next three years were a pretty difficult time in my life. I went from being the most popular kid to being a loser over night pretty much. Around the ages of 12, 13 I became very insecure. VERY. I deeply cared what others thought about me and the popular kids were like gods in my eyes. I suddenly hated how I looked and wanted to change everything about myself! Good god im glad I never actually took any serious steps towards changing my appearance cause I am very happy with who I am today. Of course I still wanted to be like the "cool" kids badly but this period marks my first real transformation in my life. All of a sudden I learned there was more to life then just how others viewed you (although I still would have given anything to be like them) and started to think more about the world, life and important issues facing humanity. I suddenly had opinions about subjects like abortion and politics and I know now if I hadnt become an outcast that year I may still be that same little asshole I was then..........for this I feel blessed.

For rest of the year and through 8th grade it was more of the same for me. No friends, deep insecurites and a overwhelming need to belong. I must reiterate though how strange it is that during the darkest, most troubling times of your life is when you really seem to change. Its really strange how that works and makes me wonder if there isisnt something to it.....although I will never ever believe in destiny, fate or even karma ( what point is there to life if you cant determine your own actions?) I know I feel so thankful now for what I learned.

Now 9th grade was a pretty good year for me I gotta say! I actually made some friends ( a group of 4 kids who were allready best buddies that liked me enough to let me into their click) and that was the year I tried Cannabis!! WOO HOOO!!!!!! Talk about fun! We were sooooo silly when we started, wed save our lunch money all week so we could get a bag for friday night and proceed to eat junk food and laugh untill we thought we would die!! I was changing for the better but in some ways but taking 2 steps back in others. I finnally had friend that was a plus but I began to revert back to my old ways. Yes I once again started to take pleasure in the misfortune of others. I was so bad, we would go to the mall and I would say horrible things right to peoples faces just to make my friends laugh! I also still really cared about other people and thought about me and wanted to be popular still.

Really this is how it was for the next 3 years. Through freshman, sophmore and junior years I was a very nasty person who started to get a very strong sense of my own importance and impending greatness (yuk). I thought I was better then everybody else, I was gonna be rich, filthy rich, when I was older. I also started to really look down upon the middle and lower classes as weak and pathetic. I though all there was to life was money and power(how many are still stuck in this trap? My lord millions.....) and if you didnt have those things your life was worth nothing.

So what changed?? What changed well I ask myself this a lot. I went from being mean, narcisistic, arrogant and selfish to the exact opposite of all those things. Today I am very compassionate, so much so that I have to ignore all the suffering I see or I wouldnt even be able to leave bed. I believe now life is about doing all you can to make the world a better place. Using your luck and good fortune to help those less fortunate then you. Because after all its just luck guys. People think because they had a hard life or worked hard they deserve all the material things. Big house, cars, clothes, jewels artwork lol whatever. But truth be told they are lucky. They are lucky because they have been given the talent to achieve these things and the right situations to bring about there success. There are so many people out there that are just as talented, and intelligent (more so in some cases im sure) then anybody else but there lives have made it impossible for there dreams to come true. Its sad as hell but another reason you should never take life for granted. Its a real gift. We have fallen from grace in so many ways. Life is about love and helping people who cannot help themselves. Its not about money, the size of your bank account or the type of car you drive.

I will be honest here because I have a good idea of what changed me. As I got older I started to wonder why the world is the way it is. Why is there so much suffering? So many wars and poverty? Why are the economic systems set up the way they are? Why are wars started in countries where the threat turns out to be false meanwhile in others genocide and the death of millions of people are allowed to continue? Something wasnt adding up here and the more research I did the more it frightened me. I dont know if you guys have any idea how the banking systems work but basically the various governments of the world have granted these select few banks the power to completely control the currencys of the various nations (WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT HMMM I WONDER.....). The real reason the debt is so high in the US is because our money is being loaned to us!!!!!!!!! Its being loaned to us WITH INTEREST!!!!! Can you wrap your brain around that one? Can you really? Its fuckin shocking. I thought there was no way it could be true but the more I learned the more I realized it is.

The fact of the matter is that the elite of this world, that is the extremely wealthy and those belonging to prominent bloodlines, think there are above us. They think they are better then us and deserve to rule over us. The truth we are no different then animals to them. Is this really that hard to believe considering how cheap life has become? I mean just look at how easily wars are launched, all the untold misery and death and the billions of dollars the select few make off of it. Meanwhile like I said when there is a real crisis, like motherfuckin genocide they let it happen. The more I thought about it the more I realized HOLY SHIT THEY ARE EVIL!! I mean they are really evil. And these are the people who control the corporations, the banks and the governments. And if people dont wake up sooner then later we are in serious trouble. You can do your own research but I hope I come off as someone who is intelligent and has experienced a lot in his 21 years of life on this earth. I want you to trust and believe me cause I am being as honest as I can here.

For some reason all this led me to Christianity. The more I read the more it seemed like it was the actual truth. The Devil really was gathering his forces, increasing his powers through his minions for the end of days. When I looked at in in those terms it made so much sense! Now I am no longer a christian as I realized religion was actually created by this elite to control humanity. I mean religion is a curse upon humanity really. It has some good things to teach you but in truth it serves only to put you in fear that if you live a life of free will you will suffer eternally. In that matter they are all the same. I mean the oldest know religion is what 4000 years old? Well history goes back a lot further then that guys thats for sure. But Religion helped me see compassion was important, the golden rule was sacred ( treat others how you want to be treated) and there was so much more to life then just what we are told matters. I will never forget these things and thank the stars every day for what I have been taught.

Reading through this now I guess my main points are that anybody is capable of changing 180 degrees. You should never judge anybody to harshly and never hate anybody for there ignorance. Do all you can to help others and show those who may be misguided or lost what life is really about. Love is the strongest force in the entire universe, that sounds cliche and lame but it really is true. Also you should never let your past get you down because after all you are who you are today because of those tough times. If youve never had pain or suffering in your life you could never ever hope to be a complete human being. Those dark times go hand in hand with growing up. Life is a test. This is the ulitmate test and where you end up in the next life is determined by how you live in this one. Dont ever be jealous of the mega rich and greedy. Their big homes and fast cars. The clothers they wear and the lives the lead. They are the most pathetic of all because they have fallen into the trap that money, status and power are all that matters in life. And believe me they will be punished. You come into this world with nothing and leave with nothing. Living like a king on earth will mean you will be royally fucked in the next life. Trust me on that one. Dont ever believe the lie, live a good life and help as many people as you can. Thats what matters!!!!!!


Always remember "Those who live in the past, die in the past"

I hope what I learned can help some of you and I hope you can relate. Peace.

[tjwettem]

Wow dude awesome post. This honestly is like the story of my life dude, like everything you described about your high school years was like the exact same for me.

[LiftedOne86]

Hey man thanks and I think thats so crazy you went through a similar experience!!! I hope people dont get discouraged by the length of it because I think I have some good things to say about life if I dont say so myself . The first 7 or 8 paragraphs are about my experience in my younger years and how it affected me. The last 3 or 4 are about what led to the biggest change in my life and what I now know about existence and how the world really works. You dont gotta read it all in one sitting guys but cmon I think this is good stuff heh.

[Bliz-NATI]

Everything you wrote is almost key to how it was for me. I just kinda gave up bieng who everyone else wanted me to be, and started bieng myself. To me, it sounds like this would appeal to anyone going through those years. There pretty tough becouse were still new and learning the ropes. have a nice day i +repped you.

[edit] i actually never really found religion. i am agnostic, but in my teen years i was athiest.

[LiftedOne86]

Hey thanks for the positive feedback. Yea that is my hope among other things, trying to reach people that age who are susceptible to this kind of behavior. Although I remember how thick headed you can be during those years. Hopefully I come across as someone who knows what they are talking about and I can get through to some people.

Also I dont mean to shock anybody when I talk about the elite but I find this is a subject people are generally completely unwilling to talk about for some reason. I mean its obvious to anybody with half a brain the world is a fucked up place but people accept it and most never realize it doesnt have to be this way. Its my hope that people become more aware of things going on in the world and our government because if enough do see what is really going on then theyll have no one to fight their bullshit wars.

[Bliz-NATI]

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

Hey thanks for the positive feedback. Yea that is my hope among other things, trying to reach people that age who are susceptible to this kind of behavior. Although I remember how thick headed you can be during those years. Hopefully I come across as someone who knows what they are talking about and I can get through to some people.

without bias is key. tho your story has alot of oppinions, its much more factual for those years than anything. thats why i think this could appeal to alot of people. you have a great day. im so stoned right now, strong sativa nugs that are so frosty.

[SuburbanKMK101]

Theres somethin you dont know about me Joe Rogan...I smoke rocks.


Hahaha...random post.

[numbersalone]

wow man thats a really crazy story.... i only had one phaze of the im better than you's in high school, and it was the first 2 months of freshman year, from there on out and even to now, ive learned that im pretty much on the bottom of the food chain, there is alot going on out there, and people with more money get farther..... i liek the feeling i get when i know im equal with everyone else, but at the same time society puts up these impassable walls of money and greed.... great thread man, made me thing a whole lot,,, plus rep to you....

[4ction]

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

during the darkest, most troubling times of your life is when you really seem to change. Its really strange how that works and makes me wonder if there isisnt something to it.....

I guess when you hit rock bottom the only place to go is up?

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

But truth be told they are lucky. They are lucky because they have been given the talent to achieve these things and the right situations to bring about there success. There are so many people out there that are just as talented, and intelligent (more so in some cases im sure) then anybody else but there lives have made it impossible for there dreams to come true. Its sad as hell but another reason you should never take life for granted. Its a real gift. We have fallen from grace in so many ways. Life is about love and helping people who cannot help themselves. Its not about money, the size of your bank account or the type of car you drive.

I thought this was very deep. There are millions of people who will never even have a chance at fulfilling their dream because of some type of handicap, whether it be physical, mental, or social. What comes to mind is the starving people in Africa who never got what I call a "fair" shot at life... their cultural goals are much different from Americans, however, and so their dreams may be of a different context.

Can you explain what you mean by falling from grace?

As for the "lucky" aspect of life, yeah, I can see how we are all very lucky for our situation compared to other people. But I think an equal if not greater factor in your fulfillment of your dream has to do with how bad you want it. I've read so many stories of people facing a seemingly unsourmountable situation but somehow they end up fighting their way through to fulfill their dream. I think that for most people, the greatest hurdle is not their situation, but their mind. Once you shift from thoughts of not having enough to abundance, life almost magically brings more things for you to be grateful about. It's either your perception of the world is radically shifting or the world is actually changing. I can't be sure but I bet it's a combination of both. As you said, maybe there is something about life...

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

our money is being loaned to us!!!!!!!!! Its being loaned to us WITH INTEREST!!!!!

Yeah, you and I are facing a future where we must deal with the 9 trillion dollars of debt in a system where a large chunk of our "economic growth" is actually the growing market for treating (and not really curing) disease... whole different topic lol. But seriously, we pay 13 cents of every dollar just to PAYING THE INTEREST on our giant loans. We haven't even started paying the debt back in this administration. In the future we'll either have to go socialistic and pay HUGE ammounts of taxes or we'll have to cut out programs like social security and medicare/caid that many Americans have grown so dependent on. Let us just hope that we don't go to war with one of the nations (like china) who is lending us a large ammount of money. America puts up a great front of being the "most powerful" in the world but we are really being pimped by many other nations, and without their protection we would be fucked.

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

The fact of the matter is that the elite of this world, that is the extremely wealthy and those belonging to prominent bloodlines, think there are above us. They think they are better then us and deserve to rule over us.

Do you see the parallels between popular kids in grade school and the "popular" adult crowd of today? This is really the first time I thought about this but their characteristics and their ascension to power really do have a lot in common.

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

But Religion helped me see compassion was important, the golden rule was sacred ( treat others how you want to be treated) and there was so much more to life then just what we are told matters.

That's how I view religion as well. The founders were enlightened people who either succumbed to the desire of power or their followers crafted the governing "rules" after they died. There is truth in all religions as Ghandi said.

Originally Posted by LiftedOne86

Dont ever be jealous of the mega rich and greedy. Their big homes and fast cars. The clothers they wear and the lives the lead. They are the most pathetic of all because they have fallen into the trap that money, status and power are all that matters in life. And believe me they will be punished.

I dunno if "they will be punished," perhaps they are being punished right now, as they hoard their wealth and fail to see the other beauties in life. They are still humans, though, and they still make mistakes. They just never matured out of that phase and they are still addicted to the lust of money and power. It's a very easy trap to fall into and now I think I see what you mean by "falling from grace."

[stoned_nate]

Yea that got me thinking, good post.

[LiftedOne86]

Deserves a bump

And 4action the man who inspired me to make this post heh, what I mean when I say "fall from grace" is that human beings have been lied to, mislead and confused into believeing that life is all about the material things. Money, status blah blah blah, we are so much more then this but the people in power have made it so we believe otherwise. We have been controlled from the start and I mean the START. Sometimes I think its sad so many will never know the truth, I almost feel sorry for all those who go along with "the lie". But one cant be ignorant his whole life, people must take responsibility for there own lives, as well as others.

In a nutshell fall from grace means we have completely lost sight of what it is to be a human being, and instead of fallen in love with all that corrupts a mans heart. This is not our fault and is exactly why I say you should never hate one for their ignorance. It takes a great mind to break free of the bondage we are seemingly born into. Everyone has a choice, either you go along with the fucking bullshit or you become an individual and decide things on your own and live a life which is pure and good. Or as pure and good as our human hearts can allow..........

[Soomka]

awesome post.. It's really disturbing when you realize your government is behind it's own terrorist attacks.

[grassmaker]

good post plus rep to you

[mj_lynds]

I think everything in my life has been a learning experience and it brought me to exactly where I'm at right now.

[StonrReeknHavoc]

Old but good post. Dont remember reading it before but I liked it. This doesnt really have anything to do with what youre trying to point out but I dont like how you said that "its all luck" because its not. Maybe sometimes you get lucky in life but the people that I love did not get to where they are at purely off "luck". Saying something happened because you were lucky/unlucky is just an excuse not to take responsibility. No matter what the situation is you can change it if you really want to.

"They are lucky because they have been given the talent to achieve these things and the right situations to bring about there success. There are so many people out there that are just as talented, and intelligent (more so in some cases im sure) then anybody else but there lives have made it impossible for there dreams to come true."

As humans we have the ability to change or direct our lives. We dont have to accept what is or isnt given to us. I dont know where Im going with this and I agree with pretty much everything else...just irritates me a little when people say things like that. My mom didnt bust her ass, so she could raise my brother and I in an actual house and not a trailer or wherever she might have ended up, for you to say that it was all luck. Sure you can attribute some good fortune to luck/karma but shit wont get done if you dont work for it.