smoking and usage

Leainna · #1 (**permalink**) 01-14-2003, 04:46 AM

I got this e-mail from a parent in the other room... (kinda makes you wonder why they didn't just hollar at me and read it out loud) This actually made me laugh out loud. So I just thought I'd share it with y'all.

***

Australian Airlines

This is from maintenance logs of Qantas: Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.

S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

sidious · #2 (**permalink**) 01-14-2003, 09:29 AM

yeah i seen that one before...lol...it's just as funny now as it was then.....Peace out...Sid

sensimil · #3 (**permalink**) 01-14-2003, 09:33 AM

sound allright to me..screw american airlines!

weedeater · #4 (**permalink**) 01-15-2003, 12:42 AM

man thats hilarious. how have they not had a crash

IceCreamKidd · #5 (**permalink**) 01-16-2003, 10:50 PM

LMAO

ick

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#1 (permalink) 01-14-2003, 04:46 AM
Leainna Artist and cool person Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 247	funny stuff I got this e-mail from a parent in the other room... (kinda makes you wonder why they didn't just hollar at me and read it out loud) This actually made me laugh out loud. So I just thought I'd share it with y'all. *** Australian Airlines This is from maintenance logs of Qantas: Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for! P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly) S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Radar hums. S: Reprogrammed radar with words. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. __________________ bip "'We are all equal in the grave and in the dark.' Said a man who's head was half way eaten by a shark. 'You might ask me why I would continue like this.' 'I doubt that I would know, I can only make a guess: half a mouth may not be much, but it's still half a kiss.'"

#2 (permalink) 01-14-2003, 09:29 AM
sidious Old School Stoner Join Date: May 2002 Location: 1060 West Addison, Chicago IL Posts: 7,343	yeah i seen that one before...lol...it's just as funny now as it was then.....Peace out...Sid __________________ www.geocities.com/quickgrowguide/ "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

#3 (permalink) 01-14-2003, 09:33 AM
sensimil Visit the World! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore Posts: 7,109	sound allright to me..screw american airlines! __________________ Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br>

#5 (permalink) 01-16-2003, 10:50 PM
IceCreamKidd poke smot Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: o0o Posts: 3,199	LMAO ick __________________ o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

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