Why Mr. and Mrs. Missionary will be in Hell!

[Jonsi]

So yesterday I was given this brochure. Luckily though it was not given to my in the intent of the brochure, but rather by someone who was handed it... and this is my major issue with religion, and Christianity in specific. More so, Christian missionaries. But to think of this brochure, it is rather ingenius, but it really got me going yesterday. So here's the cover:



So here someone hands this to you out of the blue, and wow, it looks interesting. Seems like it could be funny, so you open it up, and see this:



1-16 and 72-86 of random funny one liners I'm sure you all have seen before, here's a few examples:

8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every moment of it.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic - ten out of ten die.

86. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Alright, so see... it's witty, kinda funny and short... so you continue on thinking nothing is going to come of this, so you open the next flap, and what appears?



Now you have 1-32, and 56-71 showing. So you reading 17-32, and 56-71 this time... Everything appears normal, got some more funny one liners:

20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

and the classic:

31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

So you're confident that this is just a funny brochure, so you open up the last flap, and you find this:



Circled in red is the following text (This is typed out by me, by hand... so excuse any mistakes)

EDITORIAL: Probably the most thought-provoking one-liner is "Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway." It's sad but true-no matter what you do, you will die. This is because you have sinned against God. Let's see if that's true: Have you ever lied (even once)? Ever stolen (anything)? Jesus said, "Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her, has committed adultery already with her in his heart." Ever looked with lust? If you have said "Yes" to these three questions, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we've only looked at three of the Ten Commandments. How will you do on Judgment Day? Will you be innocent or guilty? You know that you will be guilty, and end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He provided a way for you to be forgiven. He sent His Son to take your punishment: "God commended His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus then rose from the dead and defeated death. God promises everlasting life to all those who confess and forsake their sins, and trust in Jesus Christ. Please do that today... you may not have tomorrow. See John 14:21 for a wonderful promise. Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read. God will never let you down. [address given]

Okay, let's look at this more carefully. Some cheerful, smiling stranger hands me a little brocheur while walking into the grocery store, and I read it only to find out I am called a sinner. "This is because you have sinned against God." Excuse me? You've never met me before, you odn't know if I have sinned or not... fuck your "original sin". Then it goes on to call me "...a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart..." Wow... isn't that pompous to believe without having met me before? Who gave you the right to judge me? "You know that you will be guilty, and end up in Hell." How do you know what I'm thinking? Once again, don't assume you fucking sheep! "That's not God's will." Assuming there is a God, how do you know what his 'will' is? You've seemed to fuck everything else up in the past... so how are you certain on his will?

Now, let's look at something REALLY interesting.

How deceiptful is this brochure? Quite, and stemming from such deceipt (which is obviously a sin) is the sin of Arrogance.

Proverbs 8:13

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

So... how is this brochure arrogant? Easy. Let's take a look at the back of this:



circled in red, at the bottom it states,

... Don't forget to read the editorial !

So, this little message seems to state that the message which is found within the editorial is of such importance that one must NOT forget to read it. It is full of so much truth, that if I were to miss it, I could literally end up in Hell for the rest of my days. Now excuse me, but the message within the editorial is preaching hellfire and damnation, and that if i don't accept Jesus Christ as my savior, I'll end up in Hell. Well guess what, who's right is it for you to tell me that my beliefs are wrong, and yours are solely correct? No one! You have no right to tell me that your one religion, out of millions is the correct one, and the one I have choosen is incorrect. Just as i have no right to tell you the same thing. So there is arrogancy my friend. So, I have one thing to say to this lady:

See you in HELL!!!!!

And to all other missionaries preaching Jesus as the ultimate Savior, see you in Hell as well. For it is arrogant to believe you are more supreme then me based upon what I believe.

End Note: I had a much better ending before, but my fucking browser fucked up, and I only had half of this saved... so bah Bear with me on the weak ending.

[Pelican]

sorry man, that was just too long for me to read

[Yurburdcansing]

I'll save you a spot in the "hot" seats man.

[Jonsi]

Originally Posted by Yurburdcansing

I'll save you a spot in the "hot" seats man.

I hope it's a good seat ^_^

[jzchillin]

I wonder if there's the right light spectrum in hell?

[ynotle]

So animals sin too?
And plants?
And mindles bacteria and virus and shit?

Maybe they all have their own savior?

Aw fuck it; I´m going out to hook up with loose women after getting wasted...FUCK YEAH!

[rumandromanism]

Being born and raised Jewish (even though I don't religiously practice or consider myself Jewish), it's comforting to know that I am already going to burn in hell no matter what