smoking and usage

sensimil · #1 (**permalink**) 11-15-2002, 08:09 PM

I hate no being able to smoke.

It amazes me the halfassed arseway things I accomplish when I am completely schlaggered. I WAS suppose to be going to orientation for a new job yesterday. UNTIL the trustly NJ transit service fucked me. I called ahead to be sure when exactly I was to get off the bus. Everything was set for me. so after popping a xanax to relieve me of my anixieties of riding public transportation, I noticed we werent going to the road the nice lady on the phone told me to get off at. After reevaluating the situation, I got off at a familiar street, but far from my destination. THEN after realizing I hadnt worn the right clothes "ah, fuck" out of the corner of my eye a light caught my attention. "oh, hell" so I went towards it. My problems were solved. the 19th Hole appeared. I went in, and talk about a bar right off the green. So there I drank, tried to think of reasons why I didnt make it to orientation. AH! car accident. OK problem solved. after another xanie..and about 6 or 7 pints, I staggered across the street to the Bus pickup, the good old trusty bus pickup. And this is were things got hazy for me..Somehow I made it to the destination terminal, apparently got on another bus that got me home. at home made a phone call to work, lie, bumbled over my words about a arc addicent, i think I said somthing of the such, hung up the phone, stared at a fridge full of NO BEER, stared at the keys to my dads (who is out of town) NEW truck, and the next thing I know Im in the liquor store (yeah if you havent picked up on the fact that I had to take buses cause I dont have a drivers license..yeah) (oh, for DWI!, yeah) picked up 3 40oz, paid with quarters (spent all my cash on the bus tours!) came home, did my best at parking the truck, drank the 3 40s in approx and hour and a half, popped another xanax, because, this will help make it all go away, dont you know! passed out for about an hour, got up made the biggest fucking omlet in the world, using every pan there was in the house, one for the bacon, one to fry the onions and mushrooms, one to actaully cook the omlet, and used about a quarter pound of cheese (or so I was told this morning)..after that, I got my second wind..noticed that my fish died, decided to take care of that problem right then. And the rest is history. Woke up on the couch this morning, dizzy as hell, dont remeber a goddamn thing until, I 1. go to the bathroom and the dead fish is on the bottom of the toilet, and the fish tank is in the tub. 2. Go out to get the paper, see the truck parked half assed sideways 3. as my mom sits next to the machine, my manager leave a message, "oh Im so sorry to hear you were in a car accident!" 4. the floor in the kitchen is greasy as hell, and the dishwasher is packed so high you can pull the (what are those things called anyway?) out. Its now 130, I have told approx. 22 lies today, and I just got up at noon, Im still dizzy, still a retard, and still have no idea what to do with myself.

conclusion. Pot would help me. Pot would heal me. Pot would make things allright. Pot would relieve my aniexty. Pot wouldnt make me drive illegally. Pot would relax me. Pot would make life easy for me. Pot is the answer folks.
Pot would help me be not so dizzy right now. Pot is good.

I just had to vent all this out..I have nothing else to do today, because the things I had to do I lied so much so I dont have to do them anymore. I need to be not dizzy. I need to peel myself away from this computer and maybe cook? I was thinking about cooking. Id drink, but IM BROKE. drinking isnt the answer anyway lol, but it helps you know, numb those crazy notions of being productive with my time.

aw fuck this.

but im still laughing at myself!

thanks for listening.

KraziHare · #2 (**permalink**) 11-15-2002, 08:47 PM

*sigh*

This is the reason I try not to drink. As fucked up as I've ever been on weed it doesn't effect my judgement in such a drastic manner as liqour does. The xanax probly didn't help either. I think a hobby of some kind would be good for you, whatever you enjoy; drawing, writing, video games, hardcore pornography, whatever bloats yer goat. Just try to stay away from that stuff, and don't take up golfing, Especially with that '19th hole' place there. Good luck, and if anything try not to do something just to get all fucked up, enjoy things in moderation (except maybe the afforementioned hardcore porn...)

sensimil · #3 (**permalink**) 11-15-2002, 09:45 PM

in all seriousness, I mean alcoholism runs in my family. its weird. Ive done my fair share and my friends shares of the "addictive" drugs...but I keep going back to alcohol. I know its going to be a problem, well it surely has caused enough already..I just..I dunno, like when I was smoking, thats what I wanted to do..not drink. it was so nice. I was stable. with alcohol I just feel flat out unstable and out of control sometimes. not in my head. it bugs the hell out of me that I can kill myself with booze, but cant smoke natures wonderful creation, something that doesnt make me want to go out and be dumb and destructive..

sensimil · #4 (**permalink**) 11-17-2002, 02:40 AM

lol ....thaaaaaanks. I like em!

Unknown · #5 (**permalink**) 11-17-2002, 05:34 AM

how do we know you werent lying just then?

Kinda reminds me of this riddle:

<B>The sentance below is true.
The sentance above is false.</B>

Still havent figured out the damn answer to it.

namron_420s · #6 (**permalink**) 11-17-2002, 09:32 PM

BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!

dirtydingusus · #7 (**permalink**) 11-17-2002, 10:35 PM

^^^^what he said

none of us want to lose our beloved sensi...

who would keep your hairum going in the back pew?

and someone must entetain mrs dingusus when dirty is away!!!

overgrowray · #8 (**permalink**) 11-17-2002, 11:08 PM

drinking isn't good, said from the man who is drinking vodka and orange juice right now. I hate drinking, i really wish i had smoke. Well i have a bowl full atleast, my dad just harevested a small plant of mine, the rest are hanging in my closet. Sounds like you had a... drunkin day.. to say the least. I can't belive its legal to drink, it just doesn't make any fucking sense.

namron_420s · #9 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 03:35 AM

last time i was blackout drunk i fell in my own piss

flowerchild420 · #10 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 07:13 AM

Sensi..........I know how you feel. Pot is good while alcohol can be evil!!!!!! And blackouts are no fun at all. Last night was one of those nights. Never drink a liter of vodka and do 2oxys before going to the club. Nothing good ever comes from it!!!!!! I only remember bits and pieces of the whole night.......and I've been fuzzy and groggy all day long. I just know I woke up naked beside of the dj at 10am this morning. And I still havent figured out what I did with my shoes!!!!!

So sensi........I do know how it is. And sometimes its hard to keep track of all the lies you have to tell just to cover your ass!!!!!!!!

namron_420s · #11 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 06:55 PM

i completely and totally reiterate my afforemention statement.

sensimil · #12 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 07:28 PM

last night my dad picked me up from work. hes been on vacation for a week and he said lets go grab a beer. his way of saying lets catch up. after thinking a lot of how I wanted to take a break from drinking for a while..give my body the break, I said alright anyway. He kind of thinks like I dont want to hang out with him, catch up and kind of hurts his feelings if I hadnt of went...its like our way, actually the only way that we actaully yalk and communicate. through, with alcohol. its the only thing we have in common. after a few drinks he starts in on politics and shit and the conversation went sour when (you know how the truth comes out when your drinking) we got on the topic of disease. I told him I feel like alcoholism is a disease and he stubbornly told me that it isnt. I was actually trying to see if he would read between the lines but he wasnt even listening enough to understand my point of view. he thinks that if its something you do to yourself, (alcohol, cutting, bulimeia, anirexia, etc) then you are just to weak as a person. I wanted to knock him off the fucking barstool. he doesnt see my views he barely lets me get them across, and I even said this is why you dont know me!! he quickly changes the subject to avoid it. it drives me nuts. I dont care, but it drives me nuts to think that drinking is the only thing that can get us to talk and its impossible to talk about anything at the point anyway with him.
so it ended up, we came back home to watch the late football game and I just keeeeept drinking. he passed out, he was drinking before he even picked me up and I was just still so mad. popped a few xanies and I finally passed the fuck out.
THE FUNNY part of the whole situation...I did have to laugh at this, being my own known stupidity..I thought I had bought 4 40oz that night I took his truck..but the bag had three in it when I got in the house. already a little fuzzy, I figured I just got three. Well the few days before he got home, I walked around thinking I wonder if he'll notice that I took the truck...feeling pretty stupid and guilty..WELL dumbass me apparently did buy 4 40ozs. hahaha. guess where the other one was?!?!

sensimil · #13 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZIA
yeah be care ful with that stuff. alcohilism runs in my husbands family too its not easy for people with that sort of background to take liquor lightly. cant have just one drink. it gets hard to control yourself. its fun though but be on your toes at all times!!!!!

be on your toes hahaha...I try but usually end up on my face..

MrsDingusus · #14 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 07:44 PM

Sensi, I have to agree with good ole Norm...be careful!!!

My mom was an alcoholic for 20 years....I can't tell you how many times I worried she'd drive into a tree!!!

Alcoholism is a disease...and it's one that most people need help to cure..... don't let your family or anyone guilt you into drinking if you really don't want to.

Just be careful, we like our Sensi and don't want her all mangled

sensimil · #15 (**permalink**) 11-18-2002, 08:22 PM

thanks guys..I really do want to keep it clean for a while..I know I do feel better when I dont drink for a while. Its so frustrating not being able to smoke. But Im thinking I need to get into shape physically and my mind clear too for when boot camp rolls around. thats not till Feb. but its would be good to start working on myself now..it drives me nuts that my entire family is dependent on drinking..you know, its not a party without drinking!
I am going to try to keep the urge down, keep myself busy and work out a HELLA lot. plus, I just got a new job which is going to take up a lot of my time and got odd hours sometimes pullin the night shift..

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#1 (permalink) 11-15-2002, 08:09 PM
sensimil Visit the World! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore Posts: 7,109	Full functional blackout drunk!! weeeeeeee! I hate no being able to smoke. It amazes me the halfassed arseway things I accomplish when I am completely schlaggered. I WAS suppose to be going to orientation for a new job yesterday. UNTIL the trustly NJ transit service fucked me. I called ahead to be sure when exactly I was to get off the bus. Everything was set for me. so after popping a xanax to relieve me of my anixieties of riding public transportation, I noticed we werent going to the road the nice lady on the phone told me to get off at. After reevaluating the situation, I got off at a familiar street, but far from my destination. THEN after realizing I hadnt worn the right clothes "ah, fuck" out of the corner of my eye a light caught my attention. "oh, hell" so I went towards it. My problems were solved. the 19th Hole appeared. I went in, and talk about a bar right off the green. So there I drank, tried to think of reasons why I didnt make it to orientation. AH! car accident. OK problem solved. after another xanie..and about 6 or 7 pints, I staggered across the street to the Bus pickup, the good old trusty bus pickup. And this is were things got hazy for me..Somehow I made it to the destination terminal, apparently got on another bus that got me home. at home made a phone call to work, lie, bumbled over my words about a arc addicent, i think I said somthing of the such, hung up the phone, stared at a fridge full of NO BEER, stared at the keys to my dads (who is out of town) NEW truck, and the next thing I know Im in the liquor store (yeah if you havent picked up on the fact that I had to take buses cause I dont have a drivers license..yeah) (oh, for DWI!, yeah) picked up 3 40oz, paid with quarters (spent all my cash on the bus tours!) came home, did my best at parking the truck, drank the 3 40s in approx and hour and a half, popped another xanax, because, this will help make it all go away, dont you know! passed out for about an hour, got up made the biggest fucking omlet in the world, using every pan there was in the house, one for the bacon, one to fry the onions and mushrooms, one to actaully cook the omlet, and used about a quarter pound of cheese (or so I was told this morning)..after that, I got my second wind..noticed that my fish died, decided to take care of that problem right then. And the rest is history. Woke up on the couch this morning, dizzy as hell, dont remeber a goddamn thing until, I 1. go to the bathroom and the dead fish is on the bottom of the toilet, and the fish tank is in the tub. 2. Go out to get the paper, see the truck parked half assed sideways 3. as my mom sits next to the machine, my manager leave a message, "oh Im so sorry to hear you were in a car accident!" 4. the floor in the kitchen is greasy as hell, and the dishwasher is packed so high you can pull the (what are those things called anyway?) out. Its now 130, I have told approx. 22 lies today, and I just got up at noon, Im still dizzy, still a retard, and still have no idea what to do with myself. conclusion. Pot would help me. Pot would heal me. Pot would make things allright. Pot would relieve my aniexty. Pot wouldnt make me drive illegally. Pot would relax me. Pot would make life easy for me. Pot is the answer folks. Pot would help me be not so dizzy right now. Pot is good. I just had to vent all this out..I have nothing else to do today, because the things I had to do I lied so much so I dont have to do them anymore. I need to be not dizzy. I need to peel myself away from this computer and maybe cook? I was thinking about cooking. Id drink, but IM BROKE. drinking isnt the answer anyway lol, but it helps you know, numb those crazy notions of being productive with my time. aw fuck this. but im still laughing at myself! thanks for listening. __________________ Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br>

#2 (permalink) 11-15-2002, 08:47 PM
KraziHare Likes Carrots Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Somewhere... probably Posts: 2,426	sigh This is the reason I try not to drink. As fucked up as I've ever been on weed it doesn't effect my judgement in such a drastic manner as liqour does. The xanax probly didn't help either. I think a hobby of some kind would be good for you, whatever you enjoy; drawing, writing, video games, hardcore pornography, whatever bloats yer goat. Just try to stay away from that stuff, and don't take up golfing, Especially with that '19th hole' place there. Good luck, and if anything try not to do something just to get all fucked up, enjoy things in moderation (except maybe the afforementioned hardcore porn...) __________________ Nonfamiliarity makes you scared to see the beauty in front of your eyes, you're thinking narrowly. Everything is an unpredictable occurrence if you've experienced everything except the purpose. Last edited by KraziHare; 11-15-2002 at 09:11 PM.

#3 (permalink) 11-15-2002, 09:45 PM
sensimil Visit the World! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore Posts: 7,109	in all seriousness, I mean alcoholism runs in my family. its weird. Ive done my fair share and my friends shares of the "addictive" drugs...but I keep going back to alcohol. I know its going to be a problem, well it surely has caused enough already..I just..I dunno, like when I was smoking, thats what I wanted to do..not drink. it was so nice. I was stable. with alcohol I just feel flat out unstable and out of control sometimes. not in my head. it bugs the hell out of me that I can kill myself with booze, but cant smoke natures wonderful creation, something that doesnt make me want to go out and be dumb and destructive.. __________________ Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br>

#4 (permalink) 11-17-2002, 02:40 AM
sensimil Visit the World! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore Posts: 7,109	lol ....thaaaaaanks. I like em! __________________ Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br>

#5 (permalink) 11-17-2002, 05:34 AM
Unknown Curled up to the Toilet.. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Mid-Michigan Area Posts: 722	how do we know you werent lying just then? Kinda reminds me of this riddle: <B>The sentance below is true. The sentance above is false.</B> Still havent figured out the damn answer to it.

#6 (permalink) 11-17-2002, 09:32 PM
namron_420s Old School Stoner Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 5,341	BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!!BEEE CAREFUL GODDAMNIT!!! __________________ i stepped in a pile of dirtydingus while taking a big poppa puff of sensimil, got mad and went to reform mary jane laws, that didnt work so now igotthecottons, last night my neighbor caught me smokinokie so i chased that critter off, went inside, and rubbed my nubbin

#7 (permalink) 11-17-2002, 10:35 PM
dirtydingusus reborn Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: in and out Posts: 2,367	^^^^what he said none of us want to lose our beloved sensi... who would keep your hairum going in the back pew? and someone must entetain mrs dingusus when dirty is away!!! __________________ mine are the eyes of god and what they see is not what was meant to be

#8 (permalink) 11-17-2002, 11:08 PM
overgrowray Old School Stoner Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Usa, Pa Posts: 2,356	drinking isn't good, said from the man who is drinking vodka and orange juice right now. I hate drinking, i really wish i had smoke. Well i have a bowl full atleast, my dad just harevested a small plant of mine, the rest are hanging in my closet. Sounds like you had a... drunkin day.. to say the least. I can't belive its legal to drink, it just doesn't make any fucking sense. __________________ "eye for an eye" the juggalo scrubalo ninja muthafucko

#9 (permalink) 11-18-2002, 03:35 AM
namron_420s Old School Stoner Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 5,341	last time i was blackout drunk i fell in my own piss __________________ i stepped in a pile of dirtydingus while taking a big poppa puff of sensimil, got mad and went to reform mary jane laws, that didnt work so now igotthecottons, last night my neighbor caught me smokinokie so i chased that critter off, went inside, and rubbed my nubbin

#10 (permalink) 11-18-2002, 07:13 AM
flowerchild420 Old School Stoner Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A mountain somewhere in WV.......... Posts: 922	Sensi..........I know how you feel. Pot is good while alcohol can be evil!!!!!! And blackouts are no fun at all. Last night was one of those nights. Never drink a liter of vodka and do 2oxys before going to the club. Nothing good ever comes from it!!!!!! I only remember bits and pieces of the whole night.......and I've been fuzzy and groggy all day long. I just know I woke up naked beside of the dj at 10am this morning. And I still havent figured out what I did with my shoes!!!!! So sensi........I do know how it is. And sometimes its hard to keep track of all the lies you have to tell just to cover your ass!!!!!!!! __________________ I now officially believe in dragons, fairies, good men, and other fantasy creatures!!!!!!!!

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#11 (permalink) 11-18-2002, 06:55 PM
namron_420s Old School Stoner Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 5,341	i completely and totally reiterate my afforemention statement. __________________ i stepped in a pile of dirtydingus while taking a big poppa puff of sensimil, got mad and went to reform mary jane laws, that didnt work so now igotthecottons, last night my neighbor caught me smokinokie so i chased that critter off, went inside, and rubbed my nubbin

#12 (permalink) 11-18-2002, 07:28 PM
sensimil Visit the World! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore Posts: 7,109	last night my dad picked me up from work. hes been on vacation for a week and he said lets go grab a beer. his way of saying lets catch up. after thinking a lot of how I wanted to take a break from drinking for a while..give my body the break, I said alright anyway. He kind of thinks like I dont want to hang out with him, catch up and kind of hurts his feelings if I hadnt of went...its like our way, actually the only way that we actaully yalk and communicate. through, with alcohol. its the only thing we have in common. after a few drinks he starts in on politics and shit and the conversation went sour when (you know how the truth comes out when your drinking) we got on the topic of disease. I told him I feel like alcoholism is a disease and he stubbornly told me that it isnt. I was actually trying to see if he would read between the lines but he wasnt even listening enough to understand my point of view. he thinks that if its something you do to yourself, (alcohol, cutting, bulimeia, anirexia, etc) then you are just to weak as a person. I wanted to knock him off the fucking barstool. he doesnt see my views he barely lets me get them across, and I even said this is why you dont know me!! he quickly changes the subject to avoid it. it drives me nuts. I dont care, but it drives me nuts to think that drinking is the only thing that can get us to talk and its impossible to talk about anything at the point anyway with him. so it ended up, we came back home to watch the late football game and I just keeeeept drinking. he passed out, he was drinking before he even picked me up and I was just still so mad. popped a few xanies and I finally passed the fuck out. THE FUNNY part of the whole situation...I did have to laugh at this, being my own known stupidity..I thought I had bought 4 40oz that night I took his truck..but the bag had three in it when I got in the house. already a little fuzzy, I figured I just got three. Well the few days before he got home, I walked around thinking I wonder if he'll notice that I took the truck...feeling pretty stupid and guilty..WELL dumbass me apparently did buy 4 40ozs. hahaha. guess where the other one was?!?! __________________ Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br>

#14 (permalink) 11-18-2002, 07:44 PM
MrsDingusus People Like Us Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: FloriDUH Posts: 471	Sensi, I have to agree with good ole Norm...be careful!!! My mom was an alcoholic for 20 years....I can't tell you how many times I worried she'd drive into a tree!!! Alcoholism is a disease...and it's one that most people need help to cure..... don't let your family or anyone guilt you into drinking if you really don't want to. Just be careful, we like our Sensi and don't want her all mangled __________________

#15 (permalink) 11-18-2002, 08:22 PM
sensimil Visit the World! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: 2,914 miles from the jersey shore Posts: 7,109	thanks guys..I really do want to keep it clean for a while..I know I do feel better when I dont drink for a while. Its so frustrating not being able to smoke. But Im thinking I need to get into shape physically and my mind clear too for when boot camp rolls around. thats not till Feb. but its would be good to start working on myself now..it drives me nuts that my entire family is dependent on drinking..you know, its not a party without drinking! I am going to try to keep the urge down, keep myself busy and work out a HELLA lot. plus, I just got a new job which is going to take up a lot of my time and got odd hours sometimes pullin the night shift.. __________________ Never walked so tall<br>until that moment when<br>fate and circumstance collide<br>