smoking and usage

DierWolf · #1 (**permalink**) 08-10-2006, 06:51 AM

<CENTER><TT>THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT
by Terry Bisson</TT></CENTER>
<TT></TT>
<TT></TT>

<TT></TT>
<TT>"They're made out of meat."</TT>
<TT>"Meat?"</TT>
<TT>"Meat. They're made out of meat."</TT>
<TT>"Meat?"</TT>
<TT>"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." </TT>
<TT>"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"</TT>
<TT>"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."</TT>
<TT>"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."</TT>
<TT>"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." </TT>
<TT>"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."</TT>
<TT>"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."</TT>
<TT>"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."</TT>
<TT>"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"</TT>
<TT>"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."</TT>
<TT>"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."</TT>
<TT>"No brain?"</TT>
<TT>"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."</TT>
<TT>"So ... what does the thinking?" </TT>
<TT>"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."</TT>
<TT>"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"</TT>
<TT>"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"</TT>
<TT>"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."</TT>
<TT>"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."</TT>
<TT>"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"</TT>
<TT>"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."</TT>
<TT>"We're supposed to talk to meat."</TT>
<TT>"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."</TT>
<TT>"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."</TT>
<TT>"I thought you just told me they used radio."</TT>
<TT>"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." </TT>
<TT>"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"</TT>
<TT>"Officially or unofficially?" </TT>
<TT>"Both."</TT>
<TT>"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."</TT>
<TT>"I was hoping you would say that."</TT>
<TT>"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"</TT>
<TT>"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"</TT>
<TT>"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."</TT>
<TT>"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."</TT>
<TT>"That's it." </TT>
<TT>"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"</TT>
<TT>"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."</TT>
<TT>"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream." </TT>
<TT>"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."</TT>
<TT>"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"</TT>
<TT>"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again." </TT>
<TT>"They always come around."</TT>
<TT>"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."</TT>
<TT></TT>the end

Jonsi · #2 (**permalink**) 08-10-2006, 06:56 AM

+ motherfucking rep man

That was an AWESOME read!

godiva · #3 (**permalink**) 08-10-2006, 12:13 PM

Brilliant!

3To1ker1 · #4 (**permalink**) 08-10-2006, 02:04 PM

haha flapping meat

CronicSmoker · #5 (**permalink**) 08-17-2006, 12:17 AM

i read a 1/4 of it but now that i see the replies i might read more... but im to fuckin zoned out

Opivy · #6 (**permalink**) 08-17-2006, 12:23 AM

I didn't get it... Maybe im simple-minded.

Eyes · #7 (**permalink**) 08-17-2006, 12:30 AM

You should have said "The law enforcement meat people beats their own meat" XD

SpringsStang · #8 (**permalink**) 08-17-2006, 12:50 AM

awesome. +rep

plumface_2002 · #9 (**permalink**) 08-17-2006, 04:33 AM

eh... didn't really get it...

DCrist721 · #10 (**permalink**) 08-17-2006, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plumface_2002

eh... didn't really get it...

I'm not the only one then...

SpringsStang · #11 (**permalink**) 08-18-2006, 07:50 AM

bump for a good read

br3ad_ · #12 (**permalink**) 08-18-2006, 08:10 AM

...im lost

PorchMonky4Life · #13 (**permalink**) 08-18-2006, 08:20 AM

very nice homes, chuckled for a good minute and a half....while stoned, but still a good read, needed it in an entertainless environment that im in now...

Jonsi · #14 (**permalink**) 08-18-2006, 08:23 AM

It's funny because we are searching for E.T's as others similar in composition. What this is doing is showing the opposite... something other then "meat" is found, and they find it so obsurd that they found meat, while we find it so obsurd that intelligent life is something other then meat. So it was just a comical way of saying, "Hey, don't just search for similar compositions, search for anything!" Because who's to say the only intelligent being is made of "meat"

I hope that's an okay job at describing it... it's just pointing out that we are narrowminded as to what constitutes "Intelligent E.Ts"

DierWolf · #15 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 03:46 PM

yes very well explained, least some has the ability to read between the lines.

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#1 (permalink) 08-10-2006, 06:51 AM
DierWolf Ganja Guru Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Caribbean Posts: 4,238	Why we havent found any aliens yet :) The conversation. <CENTER><TT>THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT by Terry Bisson</TT></CENTER> <TT></TT> <TT></TT> <TT></TT> <TT>"They're made out of meat."</TT> <TT>"Meat?"</TT> <TT>"Meat. They're made out of meat."</TT> <TT>"Meat?"</TT> <TT>"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." </TT> <TT>"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"</TT> <TT>"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."</TT> <TT>"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."</TT> <TT>"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." </TT> <TT>"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."</TT> <TT>"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."</TT> <TT>"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."</TT> <TT>"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"</TT> <TT>"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."</TT> <TT>"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."</TT> <TT>"No brain?"</TT> <TT>"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."</TT> <TT>"So ... what does the thinking?" </TT> <TT>"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."</TT> <TT>"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"</TT> <TT>"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"</TT> <TT>"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."</TT> <TT>"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."</TT> <TT>"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"</TT> <TT>"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."</TT> <TT>"We're supposed to talk to meat."</TT> <TT>"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."</TT> <TT>"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."</TT> <TT>"I thought you just told me they used radio."</TT> <TT>"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." </TT> <TT>"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"</TT> <TT>"Officially or unofficially?" </TT> <TT>"Both."</TT> <TT>"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."</TT> <TT>"I was hoping you would say that."</TT> <TT>"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"</TT> <TT>"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"</TT> <TT>"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."</TT> <TT>"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."</TT> <TT>"That's it." </TT> <TT>"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"</TT> <TT>"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."</TT> <TT>"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream." </TT> <TT>"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."</TT> <TT>"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"</TT> <TT>"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again." </TT> <TT>"They always come around."</TT> <TT>"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."</TT> <TT></TT>the end __________________ Signature removed for violation of the signature rule.

#2 (permalink) 08-10-2006, 06:56 AM
Jonsi Shine On, Syd Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,721	+ motherfucking rep man That was an AWESOME read! __________________ "As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. It is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air - however slight - lest we become victims of the darkness." William O. Douglas

#3 (permalink) 08-10-2006, 12:13 PM
godiva As green as they come! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Not as far from Chavtown as I'd like! Posts: 451	Brilliant! __________________ "Bushy, Darling?"...."Bushy as a privet hedge, Sahh.."

#4 (permalink) 08-10-2006, 02:04 PM
3To1ker1 And Grower Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wouldn't You like to Know Posts: 484	haha flapping meat __________________ me and my buddies grow http://forum.grasscity.com/grow-jour...turesssss.html updated with pictures 5/20

#5 (permalink) 08-17-2006, 12:17 AM
CronicSmoker What the fuck?... Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Fuck that... Posts: 546	i read a 1/4 of it but now that i see the replies i might read more... but im to fuckin zoned out __________________ I dont smoke Cronic.. Cronic Smokes me.

#6 (permalink) 08-17-2006, 12:23 AM
Opivy Nova Police Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Upper Baboons Asshole Posts: 4,520	I didn't get it... Maybe im simple-minded. __________________ "I don' think I'll ever touch a daiquiri again..."

#8 (permalink) 08-17-2006, 12:50 AM
SpringsStang Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Colorado Springs Posts: 552	awesome. +rep

#9 (permalink) 08-17-2006, 04:33 AM
plumface_2002 Hi, I'm You. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: USA Posts: 2,267	eh... didn't really get it...

#11 (permalink) 08-18-2006, 07:50 AM
SpringsStang Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Colorado Springs Posts: 552	bump for a good read __________________ 1. Signature Limits: All signatures should not exceed the following size limits, and you can't have both text and images. Text Signatures: 4 lines normal size OR 8 lines small size and up to 90 chars per line. Font sizes above 2 are not allowed. For images in signatures: 1 image up to 300 pixels wide, 125 pixels tall and 20k in size.

#12 (permalink) 08-18-2006, 08:10 AM
br3ad_ <-KiNg-> Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Hamilton, Ontario 9-Oh-5 Posts: 5,369	...im lost __________________

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#13 (permalink) 08-18-2006, 08:20 AM
PorchMonky4Life Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Filthadelphia Posts: 253	very nice homes, chuckled for a good minute and a half....while stoned, but still a good read, needed it in an entertainless environment that im in now...

#14 (permalink) 08-18-2006, 08:23 AM
Jonsi Shine On, Syd Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,721	It's funny because we are searching for E.T's as others similar in composition. What this is doing is showing the opposite... something other then "meat" is found, and they find it so obsurd that they found meat, while we find it so obsurd that intelligent life is something other then meat. So it was just a comical way of saying, "Hey, don't just search for similar compositions, search for anything!" Because who's to say the only intelligent being is made of "meat" I hope that's an okay job at describing it... it's just pointing out that we are narrowminded as to what constitutes "Intelligent E.Ts" __________________ "As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. It is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air - however slight - lest we become victims of the darkness." William O. Douglas

#15 (permalink) 08-24-2006, 03:46 PM
DierWolf Ganja Guru Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Caribbean Posts: 4,238	yes very well explained, least some has the ability to read between the lines. __________________ Signature removed for violation of the signature rule.