relationship advice

[seedleSs_stoner]

hey, before you read, only put serious advice and input down. im coming here for help not criticism;

i am 18, 19 in april, just so you know the age if that can specify your advice.

a couple days ago i was with friends at a party and hooked up with some chick( just making out and that kinda stuff). the thing is is that i have a gf. i havent told her. today, she told me that she kissed some guy and that she didnt mean to. she wasnt drunk. i broke up with her for it. she cried and balled and did that whole deal, you guys know...and now about 3 hours later i feel like shit. i really do love her and she said she the same. blah...she hooked up with me a little over 3 months ago while she had her old bf, and i told her i wasnt gunna date her because she cheated on him with me, and she could do the same to me. after a while i started to trust her and started dating. now she hooked up with some guy. she said it was just a kiss but then again i will never find out. im asking for serious advice only. what should i do? does it level out because i cheated also? should i take her back? or no. if i do, what should i do abotu the trust issue? is there a way i could get her to show me she really cares and that she wont do that again? i know i wont because i realized shes more to me than what i thought. input?

[adamBC]

let her go bro. she did it to her old boyfriend, she did it to you.


i say, pursue the party girl. your young, no use getting too attached to anyone thats just going to break your heart.

[ipack]

were you drunk when you hooked up with said chick?

[seedleSs_stoner]

kottonmouthking: what the fuck. i said serious advice. you think that shtis funny? get a life.

ipack: yea i was...really drunk

[ipack]

alright then. Here's my take:

you were under the influence which, granted, doesn't make it any more right, but your intentions were not to hurt your gf..

on the other hand your gf knowingly and with a sober mind cheated on you.

your cheating < your gf

plenty of other ladies out there man

[seedleSs_stoner]

thanks adam and ipack, your input means alot. bed time right now, so well see how it is tomorrow.
-peace-

[ruthatplay]

Drunk or sober, your actions are your actions. Don't downplay your cheating. Just like she shouldn't downplay hers. You both cheated. I know it sounds harsh, but, that is how it is. Besides, she did confess.

That being said, you're both still young. Perhaps she's not mature enough for a serious relationship or whatever, yet. This could be a sign.

[Le Grenouille]

Originally Posted by seedleSs_stoner

hey, before you read, only put serious advice and input down. im coming here for help not criticism;

i am 18, 19 in april, just so you know the age if that can specify your advice.

a couple days ago i was with friends at a party and hooked up with some chick( just making out and that kinda stuff). the thing is is that i have a gf. i havent told her. today, she told me that she kissed some guy and that she didnt mean to. she wasnt drunk. i broke up with her for it. she cried and balled and did that whole deal, you guys know...and now about 3 hours later i feel like shit. i really do love her and she said she the same. blah...she hooked up with me a little over 3 months ago while she had her old bf, and i told her i wasnt gunna date her because she cheated on him with me, and she could do the same to me. after a while i started to trust her and started dating. now she hooked up with some guy. she said it was just a kiss but then again i will never find out. im asking for serious advice only. what should i do? does it level out because i cheated also? should i take her back? or no. if i do, what should i do abotu the trust issue? is there a way i could get her to show me she really cares and that she wont do that again? i know i wont because i realized shes more to me than what i thought. input?

She isn't worth your time and effort.

She has manipulated you to feel sorry for her, which is the first sign that she is trying to control the situation. Plus, she has cheated already, both on her old boyfriend and now on you; why shouldn't she do it again, now she has been forgiven?

And the trust thing..... if you don't have it at just three months, and you have both cheated already, it isn't meant to be; neither of you clearly really love the other, or this would not have happened.

Move on. You deserve better. And take care not to give your heart so quickly.

[Nexis]

Well i think at this point it is completely up to you. I can tell you what i'd do if i were in your situation though...


Admit you jumped the gun in dumping her and it was wrong of u because you hooked up with that girl when you were drunk (if you want to work it out). If shes absolutely in love with you then it doesnt shock me that she cheated on her old boyfriend to be with you, although thats how i hope she wouldnt conduct her relationships in the future or ever, it seems like the heart is there. Its up to you, bro, but you fucked up as well, so 2 wrongs dont make a right. If you truely love her and think you can move past this then give her a ring and maybe have coffee or something.

holla

nexis

[hazey]

Sounds to me as if your on to a looser with her, granted you havent been a good boy either and yes she did tell you which is a bonus and does display some elements of trust. But still it sounds to me as if you are both not 100% with each other.

When i was your age, (some 12 years ago!) I always found that my true feelings came out when i was drunk.

If i were you i would try and move on, i know its easy for an outsider to say this but the most people have experienced break ups and while it will feel crappy for a few weeks it does get easier.. time is the best healer.

Play around when your young and make the most of it!

[hippycracker]

Players only love you when there playing......


You guys are young and if shes cheated in the past why would you want to be with someone who isnt totally with you. Granted you did the same thing, which is no excuse. She says she loves you? Obviously not, seeing as though she had no problem being with another guy. Your call.

[TheColonel]

2 unfaithful people makes an unhealthy relationship.

but i'm sure you dont need anyone to tell you that.

I'd say work on your self control while drunk. once

you solve YOUR issues, then you can worry about

a serious relationship.



As for the chick that cheated on you... forget about

her. Nobody who does that (fucked up or not)

deserves a second chance to fuck you over again.

[ReformMaryJaneLaws]

This is just my point of view:
It doesn't really sound like either of you are that much into the relationship if you both cheated. However, if you still want to be with her, you should be honest and tell her that you did something wrong too.

[Peaceful Rocker]

If she came forward and told you she kissed another guy and felt terrible about it, you should take that as she wants to talk and feel more connected to you. I would have understood and forgave her, imo you definantly should call her and apologize for how you reacted, just tell her you kind of freaked out when you heard the news, and now you feel like complete shit. Go over to her house and have some make up sex

[seedleSs_stoner]

hey thanks for all of the input. just to let you guys know, she didnt really come out and tell me. someone else told me something happened, and i kept telling her to tell me what happened and she kept saying nothing. after a while she finally told me. i dont know if she was planning on telling me or not. she said she was waiting to see me to tell me, but i think that could be a bunch of bull.