1. A good seed will have no cracks in it, and usually be colored brown, black or beige, sometimes "tiger-striped". A good way to see if a seed is viable, is put it in a small glass of water, let it sit for 6 hours then go back and give it a push with your finger, a good seed will sink to the bottom. Then you can put it in moist paper towels until a taproot emerges, or just leave it in the water until the taproot comes out.
Un-viable seeds usually have a white or green look to them, they are immature. Cracked seeds usually wont work either.
2. Be patient and wait is the method I would reccomend for a first timer, females will have an immature calyx with one or two white hairs called pistils, males have pollen sacs like you mentioned. After 8 weeks or so, they usually pre-flower and show sex, if not you will know in July for sure when the plants go into the first stages of flowering
Good pics in this thread of pre-flowering plants
http://forum.grasscity.com/general-o...ml#post2452103
3. I would avoid the Miracle Grow soils that say "feeds for __ months" on the bag, Ive seen a 3 month and 9 month bag, you dont want these. If you are going to plant out in the wild in holes you will probably want perlite added to the soil for drainage.
4. Depends on the strain truthfully, some smell more than others.