A common issue may be driving users away

I know I have recently started using the boards. I have been lurking in the Q&A section and I've been trying to contribute as much as I can. I have a general feel of the boards now.

However, I have come across something that seems could potentially drive users away. Many users create threads in the interest of getting help with being inconspicuous with smoking due to living in a household of people who don't approve of using marijuana. The issue I find is that a lot of users immediately criticize people for using cannibis in an unwelcome environment, which I find is usually a parent's home.

In almost every thread where a user mentions living with their parent's and hiding it from them, one or two users will say something along the lines of:

"You live with your parents and therefore you are under 18. Leave the boards."
"You live with your parents. You are a pothead loser."
"You shouldn't smoke at all if you have people around you who support you financially and do not approve of it."

I know there isn't a mass solution to this issue, but in the interest of this site, I think that traffic should be maximized and I think issues like this, which may deter newer members from the site, should be somehow eliminated. Less traffic means less people are using the store which means there is less money that Grasscity can feed back into the community.

I am not saying that the users who are doing the criticizing are wrong, but I don't think it is in the site's best interest to let those kinds of posts go on.

token while living with Ps .. who cares. IMO just have some common sense and decency.

don't do it inside ( look if it's 20 below .. inhale faster), and don't rub it in their face (parents are rarely stupid) .

NOW.... as per growing in that situation ( and yes it does come up lots) it is pretty simple IMO...if they can't grow (as to not put their family at risk of jail time & losing everything they worked for), I bet the bong in the mail is also a "no no".

Honestly, if that kind of behavior drives away young kids, then I really don't have a problem with it. See this is an adult message board, our members are expected to be and behave like adults.

MOST of the users who post threads asking about toking under parental housing are underage, and as such we don't want them here. So if that drives them away until they're older, all the better.

To be completely honest with you, and this is me speaking for myself, I would personally ban ALL discussions of sneaking MJ around parents. I think it's juvenile and undermines the core of our raison d'etre. BUT I also know there are a (FEW) members who are legitimately over 18 who want to smoke and don't want to get caught.

However, there are so many threads extant about that subject, I really don't see the need for any more. But again that's me personally.

I see where you're coming from. The case of someone actually being over 18, still living with their parents, and still having to conceal smoking habits isn't too common.

However, I can see many people in my position. During High School, I tried it once or twice but never had access to it. Now that I'm in college, it is much more common and I was sorta thrust into the atmosphere and it became a part of my life. With that said, I currently live with a Grandparent near campus. He is okay with it, but I can definitely see other users commuting from a relative's home who don't want their hobby apparent, and in that case or other cases similar, I don't think it is fair that every question about secrecy is met with a fury of criticism from members who I actually believe are under 18 by the way they act.

Last I checked, it wasn't really kosher to talk about growing in your parents house (without their permission) around here anyway.

People can help prevent those posts in their threads by clarifying that they are 18+, but the fact of the matter is... Many of us here are adults who are old enough to realize that our parents deserve much more respect than we gave them when we were teenagers.

I look back on my teenage years now and realize that it was disrespectful of me to be smoking in my parents house, knowing that they were against it. They paid for me to live there, they paid for my clothes, they paid for my food. They paid for my car, and they paid to fix it when it broke down. My parents did everything for me, and I should have respected their wishes and treated them with as much respect as possible.

I didn't. And most kids won't. But I don't see anything wrong with recommending it.

Last I checked, it wasn't really kosher to talk about growing in your parents house (without their permission) around here anyway.

People can help prevent those posts in their threads by clarifying that they are 18+, but the fact of the matter is... Many of us here are adults who are old enough to realize that our parents deserve much more respect than we gave them when we were teenagers.

I look back on my teenage years now and realize that it was disrespectful of me to be smoking in my parents house, knowing that they were against it. They paid for me to live there, they paid for my clothes, they paid for my food. They paid for my car, and they paid to fix it when it broke down. My parents did everything for me, and I should have respected their wishes and treated them with as much respect as possible.

I didn't. And most kids won't. But I don't see anything wrong with recommending it.

Growing is another matter. To grow without a caregivers card is one thing. To grow in your parent's home without their consent is a terrible idea and should be heavily discouraged. I agree with you.

I agree. They can clarify that, but it shouldn't be an obligation. If someone is under 18, the staff with find out and place a ban. The frequency of threads that ask about being stealthy, however, convince me that it shouldn't be an obligation to clarify that you're 18 because that comes with signing up on the forums. My issue is that everyone assumes that someone is under 18 and they ignore the fact that many people smoke under sensitive living situations after they're 18.

I partially agree. A reality that most people face is that with youth comes experimentation, and with experimentation usually comes marijuana. I went through a phase in high school where I smoked every day for a month (my last post was an underestimation. I should've said there were 2 periods earlier in my life of heavy smoking). It didn't affect my grades, I was completely respectful to my parent/guardian (My half sister). I appreciated everything they did for me. However, they had established earlier that I could not and should not drink or smoke.

The fact of the matter is that most people are misinformed about marijuana, however, and if I tried to convince my parent/guardian at that time that I was being safe, I was being smart, and my health was not deteriorating, as is commonly believed, I would've been busted. I meticulously smoked with caution out of my baby pipe and I enjoyed myself. It didn't affect our relationship and I don't feel bad. If someone is disrespecting their parents, I don't think it is a stretch that the break the rules without tactfulness and they're trying to rebel.

I see where you're coming from, but the misconceptions about the cannabis plant make it impossible for most people living with rules to actually have the go-ahead. That is why I think badgering about age and dishonesty shouldn't be allowed when someone asks those kinds of questions.

When my parents found out I smoked bud (which took a few years). I was 17 and they said no weed + new rules or pack a suit case. Never looked backed, my relationship with them is better and they're cool about it.

You're totally right that there are far too many people here who will call out "underage" about anything that even remotely deals with parents.

I'll concede that point. It's been brought up many times before and I don't disagree.

But on a forum where everyone must be 18 or older to register, I don't think its likely that we're gonna have a rule against speculating that someone is underage.

If someone is just going into a thread to be rude and make a pointless post ("haha, you must be 16, you fuckin noob!") then report them for disrespect and the mods will take care of it.
But asking whether someone is of age or implying that they might not be of age is not against the rules, and I don't think it should ever be against the rules.

I guess it's just all about respect, really.

I see many more adults living with their parents now. To me the bottom line is; if they say no swoking in the house there should be no smoking in the house period.

Hell, I haven't even had a cig in any house I've lived in, since 82.

I see many more adults living with their parents now. To me the bottom line is; if they say no swoking in the house there should be no smoking in the house period.

Hell, I haven't even had a cig in any house I've lived in, since 82.

So 5 years before I was born then?

I just wanted to make you feel old.


..kinda sad considering how old I feel compared to some of the folks here.

So 5 years before I was born then?

I just wanted to make you feel old.


..kinda sad considering how old I feel compared to some of the folks here.

Want to feel younger?






I was 24 then.

I see many more adults living with their parents now. To me the bottom line is; if they say no swoking in the house there should be no smoking in the house period.

Hell, I haven't even had a cig in any house I've lived in, since 82.

I respectfully disagree. What they don't know can't hurt them, and if most adults were more informed they would be less against marijuana. They somehow connect it to being a degenerate lowlife who spends all of his money on getting a quick fix.

What I wish the average adult would realize is that weed can be part of a healthy lifestyle. It, other than having psychoactive effects on me, makes me feel healthier, gets rid of my depression, helps me with my eating disorder, and overall just makes me a better person. If people would take the time to inform themselves and eradicate the preconceived notions that it causes long term memory loss, causes cancer, and kills people.

If someone who is informed of this wants to smoke privately without the knowledge of their roommates/parents/guardians, they should have that right and they should also have the right to browse these forums and ask questions without being badgered about disrespect.

This is all taking into account that the person is over 18, however.

Want to feel younger?






I was 24 then.

I'm 24 now!!

You're welcome, old man!

It is fine to disagree, however if it is their house, the act of going against a simple rule is very disrespectful, especially when there are always other options to partake.

I would not quit smoking, but would never do it in their house. If caught they are likely just as much (if not more) upset over the broken trust.

Edited to add: Dang JD, now I feel like getting one of those hov-arounds.

Edited by ICGreen, 04 May 2012 - 01:40 AM.
2 smilies; wrong place

Honestly, if that kind of behavior drives away young kids, then I really don't have a problem with it. See this is an adult message board, our members are expected to be and behave like adults.

MOST of the users who post threads asking about toking under parental housing are underage, and as such we don't want them here. So if that drives them away until they're older, all the better.

To be completely honest with you, and this is me speaking for myself, I would personally ban ALL discussions of sneaking MJ around parents. I think it's juvenile and undermines the core of our raison d'etre. BUT I also know there are a (FEW) members who are legitimately over 18 who want to smoke and don't want to get caught.

However, there are so many threads extant about that subject, I really don't see the need for any more. But again that's me personally.

Well said. Users under the age of 18 are not legal to smoke. Not only does it prove that they do not have permission to use marijuana (they don't have a legal license), but that even if they somehow got ahold of someone elses, they would be underage to smoke. I seriously doubt grasscity wants to be sued for condoning illegal actions of minors. +reps.

To me the bottom line is; if they say no swoking in the house there should be no smoking in the house period.

I agree...

I respectfully disagree. What they don't know can't hurt them

Spoken like a person who has never owned or been responsible for a home, and has never had to set or enforce household rules...

When you pay the mortgage, pay the bills, are responsible for the upkeep, etc...I think it's only fair that others living under your roof should respect your wishes regarding what is and isn't allowed in the home...

Smoke in your home all you like when it's yours...not someone else's...

I respectfully disagree. What they don't know can't hurt them

I have to agree with IF on this one. With respect right back at you but that is an incredibly ignorant comment.

Addressing the growing without parental consent, if you grow in a house not your own, the landlord is legally responsible and could face jail time or losing their house.

Speaking from experience, when my eldest boy decided to hide his cannabis usage from me (I mean really...From me???) and ended up doing stupid stupid things and getting involved in the justice system of this great state, they told me in no uncertain terms that I ran the very real risk of losing custody of all my children if they caught him with anything in my house. I'm responsible for their well being and if one is "constituting a danger" to the others, and any drug use is considered that, I could lose them all to the system.

I'm responsible for what happens in my house. There are rules for a reason and it would be great if teenagers could figure that the fuck out. Once they become an adult and move out, they can make their own rules and live with the consequences, just as all us other adults have to.

So I agree with WW and the others posting in this thread that there are already plenty of threads concerning this topic so no new ones would be great and I for one will keep being one of those people saying "respect your parents wishes" whenever they do come up.

If that drives those particular members away, sorry about that. It would be better if they respected their parents wishes and hung around.

Edited by FenceWalker, 04 May 2012 - 04:48 PM.

As adults who aren't in this kind of situation, I understand where you're coming from. Actually, I am not in a sensitive situation at all. Regardless, I think we're getting off track. When someone chooses to smoke in a home where it is not necessarily welcome, they actually think hard about it. Nobody just lights up without thinking about the smell and how they will act around their parent or guardian. The purpose of my statement is that the decision to deceive parents is that of 18+ aged members, but they seem to be harassed for being under 18.

I should have worded it better, but my point is that how someone respects their parents is up to them. It isn't our place to criticize every living situation as if we know what it is like to not be able to do something you love or having to hide it. I don't think it is right to deceive your parents, but it happens, and if you want to browse and post on Grasscity freely, that is your choice and you should have the right to browse without being scolded by self-righteous users (which I have only come across a rare few).

I agree that no one should jump down their throat (too heavily) for it. Yet, it never hurts to point out that they are breaking a trust and that perhaps they would have a more harmonious living arrangement if they could display some respect.

Every now and again, a few actually listen.

Thats the thing. People don't need to be told how to live their lives. They understand that they're defying their homeowners wishes and they do it anyways. When they get on these forums and discuss the green, they've already made the decision.

However, I am all for reporting questionable cases. If you have reason to believe someone is under 18 when they describe their living condition, then it isn't wrong to maybe probe a bit.