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You need some comas. But
spliff: joint with some tobbaco in it.
sploof: toilet paper roll with laundry sheets in it. You blow you smoke through it and it smells good and not like weed.
dime: a little less than a gram i'de say .7of a gram.
dub: your local 20 bag.
slice: 1/8 of an ounce
onion: ounce
cornering bowls: light one side of the bowl so that another person can have greens too.
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