Ok...so here's the scene!
characters: little bitchass dog, big happy stupid dog, mean, devilish black cat
I sleep with my door shut at night...always have. So, in order to keep my cat happy, I have to keep a bowl of cat food in my bedroom. So, little bitchass dog is crying like a fucking baby because it's bedtime. She pissed me off so I put her on the bed. Well, I forgot that I put the bowl of cat food on the bed (it's dry food) and the little dog starts to eat the cat food. Not good. The cat see's her and does her hell-no-u-fuckin-bitch attitude change and swipes at the little bitchass dog. Big and stupid is watching and he's also the devil cat's big brother. So, anyway...The little dog goes after the cat with a vengeance and then the big dog jumps on the bed going after the little dog. The barking started right about then. The little dog is PISSED that the cat came after her so she chases her all through the house...with the big dog right behind him. Did I mention that the big dog has the deepest and loudest bark ever? We all end up in the kitchen and I went to grab the little dog's collar. When I did she went after me and my big huffalump got really pissed when he saw that so he goes after the little dog again.*I had the little dog trapped in a corner but she was still going after me and the big dog was behind me trying to get to the little dog. Meanwhile, the devil cat is spread out on the floor acting like she orchestrated it all. She was chillin'. The little dog can stay pissed for days though. She was still going after the cat. I had to get the cat and the big one and come in the bedroom with them and shut the door. The little dog is outside the door with her nose under it waiting for the cat to come out. I bet she's there in the morning. That was serious chaos to deal with right after you get off of work and finally smoke a bowl. First one of the day. That was nuts.
I'm high and that's my dog and cat fight story I wanted to tell.